Turn the Screw

Dusting off the keyboard.

2009-05-06T18:25:00.002-04:00

I not sure if anyone out there on the innertubes cares but I have decided to start piping off again. Took a long break for numerous reasons, least of which hearing my ideas and observations recited by others as if they were their own. Suffice to say, I am not in the business of offering talking points.

Stay tuned.

Flogging a Dead Horse - Version 11954.2

2006-08-14T15:48:00.000-04:00

Any one who has met me, had dinner with me, bought wine from me, been to my shop, read this blog, or otherwise doesn't have their head firmly planted in their own ass has at one time or another been privy to the never ending discussion concerning points and how the relate(?) to wine. I have no desire to rehash this subject.

REPEAT : I have no desire to rehash this subject.

But it seems that there are many who simply can't get enough. Bouncing around the web today, I found a rather well written (albeit rather long) article delving once again into the abyss - referred to here as 'The Number'.

Wine Ratings Might Not Pass the Sobriety Test

I must admit that I am not familiar with Gary Rivlin or his writing but he does a pretty good job breaking it down - so to speak. If you've got a few minutes to kill, give it a read.

Here are a couple of the better points made:

A rating system that draws a distinction between a cabernet scoring 90 and one receiving an 89 implies a precision of the senses that even many wine critics agree that human beings do not possess. Ratings are quick judgments that a single individual renders early in the life of a bottle of wine that, once expressed numerically, magically transform the nebulous and subjective into the authoritative and objective.

Right on.

Mr. Tisherman, then editor of Wine Enthusiast, also realized that he risked irrelevancy if he did not follow suit. He watched the Spectator use what Mr. Shanken called 'the advance' - the scores his magazine sends out weeks ahead of the actual publication date so that retailers can stock up on highly rated wines to entrench itself as a central player in the wine industry.
"Basically the Spectator was saying, Use our numbers, which well send you ahead of time, so you can order a lot of that wine and then watch it fly out of the store", Mr. Tisherman said.

Keep this in mind next time some clown tries selling you a wine based on points.

Still, Michael De Loach, the vice president of the Hook and Ladder winery in Sonoma County, wonders if scoring mania is healthy for the industry. Wilfred is a bona fide wine guy, "but really, think about it, who needs Parker when you can make up your own numbers?" Mr. De Loach said. "If Parker or Spectator dont give you a high enough score, you can make up your own."

Read the fine print on those shelf-talkers. This is happening far more than you realize.

And lastly:

In recognition of this growing sophistication, Mr. De Loach says it is time to switch to a three- or four-star rating system because applying a 100-point scale to wine is dishonest. It makes the consumer think its scientific. He expressed his appreciation for the publications that have established their reputations by using it, but also declared it a noble experiment whose time is over.

I don't know Mr. De Loach or his wines (I have talked with a guy that does some work for him and he's cool) but this dude has got it goin' on, non-numerically speaking of course.

Econ 101

2006-08-14T15:05:00.000-04:00

In all actuality, I have no business pining about the ins-and-outs of economics. There's this dude are many others that are far more qualified. And generally, save for the occasional pool match, I am not a betting man. However, even I recognize this as a 'losing proposition'.

"California’s and the world’s largest winery, E&J Gallo, has tossed out the first California wine grape price pitch of the season. It was low and away.

A price of $125 per ton for open market Thompson seedless grapes and other low value white grapes...

I suppose it's good to be king (i.e. Gallo). The article goes on to say that this very well may be the 'floor' as far as pricing goes and if that's the case, folks in CA might want to consider some other means of income.

DiBuduo said at 7.5 tons $125 per ton is a gross income of $1,000, $400 to $500 less per acre than it cost to produce the grapes “and that is if you have the ranch paid off.”

So let us on to the math:

1. Grape growing costs $1500 per acre (quantity X)
2. Grapes grown sell for $1000 per acre (quantity Y)

X + Y = YOU'RE SCREWED

And this is surely only a sign of things to come. 2005 yielded a 'bumper crop' in CA and just like the rest of the world, the meglo-agro-oeno-corporations are in the proverbial 'cat bird seat' with reserves of juice at the ready. Increased competition on all fronts continues to rise as newer plantings in all corners of the world come on-line. Employment costs are on the rise and immigration reforms abound.

All of this continues to spell things all bad for growers.

The ringer of the article:

“I hope this is not the floor for future wine grapes this season,” said Nat DiBuduo, president of Allied Grape Growers. “I was hoping for higher price. Surprised? I am not surprised by anything that goes on in this industry any more.(emphasis T.t.S.)

Amen, brother.

Jack-Hole To Resume Blogging

2006-07-18T19:00:00.000-04:00

Just thought I would fire the proverbial 'shot across the bow' and give anybody out there who cares a heads-up that I will be getting back to getting down on this thing blog.

I'm fairly certain the numbers of those interested are few and far between.....you don't call, you don't write, I'm not sure if I even know you anymore...

Regardless, there have been a few not so minor events (unless you are American John Q. Sixpack - in which case you probably didn't even notice) like the Stanley Cup (damn thos 'canes), the World Cup (damn those Italians - just kidding, but dial back the diving a little bit please), and the Tour de France (Go Floyd) that have been taking up a little bit of my life.

So stay tuned, more fun to come

And speaking of the growers....

2006-05-03T19:25:00.000-04:00

As per my previous post, I have severe reservations considering certain adjustments to regulations in the wine industry.

If the growers in California aren't careful, they could be looking at a very similar situation.

It is a pretty interesting transcription of a news report and one worth reading. In the interest of time, I offer one little bit:

JOHN SFYRIS: If I had 20 semitrailers, because one semitrailer takes 20 tonnes, 20 semitrailers full of fruit, that's how much fruit that's getting to get dropped on the ground. We could place a lot of wineries here, interstate, no-one wants it.

JIM SFYRIS, GRAPE GROWER: No interest.

JOHN SFYRIS: There's no interest in it. We've had one offer for around $80-100 a tonne.

JIM SFYRIS: That's 8-10 cents a bottle.

JOHN SFYRIS: It's not worth growing it.

Think about it.

Capitulation - The Beginning of the End

2006-05-03T18:07:00.000-04:00

Or maybe a better title would be 'Money gets what Money wants'. Either way I find this more than a little troubling.

Feds institute looser standard for vintage wines

I'm sure the vast majority of people (wine drinkers and Non - alike) have no idea and probably no interest in the subtleties of various regulations that govern the wine industry or anything else for that matter. Consequently, those fine folks 'up on the hill' get away with whatever they want to.

"Currently, at least 95 percent of a vintage-dated wine must come from grapes harvested in the vintage year cited on the label. The new rules will lower this standard, so that at least 85 percent of a vintage-dated wine must be derived from vintage-year grapes."

That's right. No longer does the vintage matter. One of the base arguments for this whole thing was to put American wineries on 'equal footing' with their competitors, specifically Australia. I'm sure t goes without saying that I find this a less-than-desirable 'solution' to what those out west consider a 'problem' Recently, the EU made a similar move. Used to be that they had 'standards' concerning the processes by which wine was made - reverse osmosis, watering back, addition of oak chips as opposed to the far more expensive (and traditional) use of oak barrels. Well those things are long gone now. The argument used then??? 'We can't compete with the Americans and the Australians.' Well, it appears that everyone is getting in on this process of driving the bar as far into the ground as possible.

"Older wines can be made to taste younger and fresher," prominent Lodi, Calif.-based grower and vintner John Kautz advised regulators, "(and) younger wines can be blended to add some aged characteristics."

While the words that he uses 'make sense', that doesn't prevent this from being one of the dumbest things I've heard in a while. What's the point of aging a wine in the first place, jack-ass?!?!

I know that I'm sounding a bit like ol' Chicken Little and most people would say 'You'll never see the reputable producers taking advantage of such a thing' blah, blah, blah. Well, I have my doubts. From what I've read, there is absolutely nothing to repvent them from doing so. And what exactly is a 'reputable' producer anyway. It wasn't all that long ago that Mondavi et al was the cream of the crop, so to speak.

Tom over at Fermentation says that this 85/15 rule only applies to wines that carry the generic 'California' label, i.e. no winery that labels their wines winth an appellation will be allowed to use this practice. He may be right. But it is only recently that certain 'appellations' have been granted the right to enforce the idea that the fruit comes from the place on the label. Do a Google on the Napa Valley Vintners Association and their recent legal battles.

And given that there is so much grey area in the delineations of appellation, fruit source, why is that crazy that this 85/15 rule won't ultimately be applied to all wines. After all, the crux of this latest argument is to give 'equal footing'

One last thought. Suppose that at some point, Harlan does blend in 15% from a previous vintage(s). Is it reasonable to assume that this would be disclosed to a Parker, Laube, Tanzer, et al? And furthermore, if it were, would this then be disseminated to the masses via Wine Advocate, Wine Spectator, etc...? I suspect the answer is 'Hell No!'.

And what would be the fallout if one of the aforementioned clowns were to proclaim, say 2007, the vintage of the century, only for it to become known that a certain percentage of the wine wasn't from said vintage.

Oh, forget about it. That would never happen.

And what about the growers.....?

Sweet Sassy Mo-Lassy

2006-05-01T19:05:00.000-04:00

There are those of us in the industry (myself included) who from time to time get all wrapped up in the 'romance' of wine, the small vineyards, hand crafted, miniscule production kind of stuff. On the contrary, every now and then, something comes down the pike and you start to feel like your head is going to explode.

This is one of those times.

The stunning growth of the Australian wine industry has come to a dramatic halt with at least 60,000 tonnes of grapes -- equivalent to 55 million bottles -- left unpicked and almost an entire 12-month supply of wine still in vats from last year.

For the mathematically challenged, that 55m equals jsut under 4.6 MILLION cases of wine. I feel it no understatement to say - that's a shit-ton of wine to just leave on the vine.

It goes on:

He said estimates of wine still in storage varied from between 500 million and 900million litres.

Again, going back to the calculator, the amount of juice sitting in 'storage' amounts to somewhere between 375M and 675M bottles of 'finished wine'. Granted, a great deal of this stuff will processed out into various 'alco-beverages' but still, has there been a better example of the old phrase 'Too much of a good thing'.

I would think that even a leviathan such as [yellow tail] might have a little difficulty dealing with these sorts of numbers.

Maybe this could become the 'alternative fuel' that the clowns on TV keep talking about. Anyone interested in R/D for this type of thing ought to head down under, I suspect you can get testing material for pennies on the dollar.

Bored with your single malt scotch?!? Check this out!!!!

2006-04-29T15:13:00.000-04:00

Just when I thought the alcohol industry in this country had reached the lowest point in the abyss of kitchy, over-sweetened, dumb-ass, 100% guaranteed quickest way to get a hang-over, bullshit ideas to market to the masses, I am proved wrong yet again.

Greenville, SC. You know the place. Home of Bob Jones University. Where the BBQ is, for some un-godly reason, yellow. When asked, they'll tell you it's 'Carolina BBQ'. Well, add one one more to the list of brilliant ideas to come out of this intellectual hot-bed.

Envision a 'pipe-bomb' - one tube with threaded ends and sealed with end caps. Now, instead of that pipe bomb being made from metal, make it out of translucent plastic. And instead of being packed full of C4 or ammonium nitrate, this thing has a dayglow substance that was liquid before your soon-to-be-favorite bartender stuck it in the fridge, at which point it congealed. Now the stage is set. You find another person that is nearly as drunk as you are. You deftly unscrew both caps off the pipe. You place one end in your mouth and the other end in the mouth of your buddy. With precise timing you take a deep breath and pressurize your end of the pipe. As a result, 180 ml of orange flavored jello goes streaming down the throat of your new best friend. A great time is had by all. Hell, let's do it again.

Sounds great, huh? Well just in case you thought I was making this up, I'm not.

It's called 'Suck & Blow' and it is for real. I held one of these things in my hand the other day while helping a rep unload my wine. As you might expect, you can learn everything there is to know about this brilliant idea at suckandblow.com.

From the website:

Why is it so much fun? Well, SUCK & BLOW is a gelatin shooter encased in a patented plastic tube and in order to enjoy this flirtatious shot, you'll need a partner.

That's right, it takes two to tango with this tasty treat. One person to "SUCK" and another to help force out the shot with a little "BLOW". It's this interaction that makes SUCK & BLOW so popular.

There are so many ways I could go with this, I think I'll just leave it alone.

One more thing....

If the idea of buying this stuff pre-made doesn't do for you, the guys at SAB Enterprises (I'm not shitting, that's what they call themselves) will sell a box full of the tubes empty so you can 'mix it up' for yourself. Not sure how to do that??? Well, they have a great step-by-step tutorial that shows you how. You can check it out here. I especially like page 4 of the demo where is states:

1/2 GALLON SPIRIT OF YOUR CHOICE OR HIGH ENERGY MIX.

I suppose I never considered it before, but now that I do, I guess nothing says party like getting all jacked up on caffine and jello.

MMMM...MMMMM

I think I'll go jump off a bridge now.

Differences?.....

2006-04-13T13:39:00.000-04:00

Oh, let me count the ways.

At the risk of starting some pissing match on the pros and cons of various styles of auto racing, I submit the following:

"Infineon Raceway and Ravenswood Winery have entered into a partnership that will make the Sonoma-based winery the title sponsor of pole qualifying day at the Dodge/Save Mart 350 NASCAR NEXTEL Cup weekend, June 23-25, raceway officials announced.

Ravenswood Pole Day will take place on Friday, June 23, as the 43-car starting grid is set for the weekend's Dodge/Save Mart 350."(emphasis T.t.S.)

Conversely...:

"Other drinks companies involved in Formula 1 include Champagne Mumm, the sole supplier of Champagne to every Grand Prix and German brewer Warsteiner, which is a partner of the McLaren team."

For the record, I would much rather watch Kimi, Alonso, Schue, et al.. spray magnums of Mumm at each other than see Kurt Busch run a fellow clown off the track and wash it down with some bullshit Zinfandel.

To each his own.

Flame on.

One of the dumbest things I have read in some time.

2006-03-27T18:31:00.000-05:00

Seriously, this one is up there.

The article starts out about all the great things that are going to happen at the Florida State Wine Competition. You're familiar with it, I'm sure. Well, it's a pretty lame article all in all, concerning all the types of wine catagories they have - 92 in total - including 'Hybrid Blush'.

WTF is 'Hybrid Blush'!!!

Anyway, the article wraps up with these insightful food/wine pairings:

What to drink with . . .

A corn dog: Chenin blanc. "It strikes a balance between being a fine white wine and having a little residual sugar to match the corn-meal coating."

A sausage and peppers sandwich: Cabernet franc. "It's something that has a lot of herbaceous and complex aromas to combat the aromas of the sausage and peppers."

Pizza: Barbera or Sangiovese. "They have a high acidity that will cut through the cheese and complement the tomato sauce."

Ice cream: Sherry. "You need something high in sugar."

To start, why the hell are you eating a corn dog?!? And even more, why would you try to pair a wine with it?

Sausage & Peppers? Sounds like a cheap ass American beer to me.

Pizza? For the record, Barbera or Sangiovese might go, yet when made correctly, they couldn't be more different.

Ice Cream? Why would you need more sugar?

You get what you pay for, I reckon.

On both fronts, theirs and mine, for that matter.

A sucker born every minute?

2006-03-27T17:58:00.000-05:00

There's an old saying about fooling all the people part of the time and fooling part of the people all of the time, yet one cannont fool all of the people all of the time....or something like that.

Well apparently, it is possible to fool a shit-load of people for a considerable period...say like 25 years or so.

"Santa Margherita Pinot Grigio, the import that revolutionized the American wine market over the past quarter- century, has been recognized again by Impact magazine as a "Hot Brand" for 2005."

For those of you unaware of Impact Magazine...

"The Impact "Hot Brands" awards, presented in the March 2006 issue by publisher Marvin Shanken, gives wine trade professionals, retailers and restaurateurs a snapshot of market trends in the wine industry, with its list of the top selling, "hottest" brands each year."

Considering that, unfortunately, Marvin Shanken et al are on the leading edge of creating 'hot brands' day in and day out, (he is also the publisher of the ever-so-important Wine Spectator), it would appear that M. Shanken has found another way to wrap up the poo that is his opinion and peddle it off to restaurants at what I'm sure is a premium.

A cursory look around the interweb yields pricing for this 'hot brand' anywhere from $19 -$25 American. In case you've missed my obvious disdain for all things Santa Margherita, here it is in all its glory. This has got to be one of the biggest con jobs ever pulled over on the wine buying public. You want the straight dope on Pinot Grigio...at least the vast majority of it, including S.M.? The Italians make a shit-ton of the stuff. It is made to be consumed immediately, if not sooner. It does not age well, and it shouldn't because next year they are going to make a shit-ton more of it and you need to keep downing the stuff so the supply doesn't get backed up. And most importantly, unless it is from the Collio, there is no reason in hell it should cost $25!!! And even if it from Collio, which Santa Margherita is not, you would be hard pressed to spend that kind of money. That is unless someone is fleecing the hell out of you, which Paterno has been doing for sometime.

Oh yeah, I just found another reason not to give the Leviathan Shanken any of my money.

I suggest you follow suit.

No such thing as bad publicity?!?

2006-03-25T14:53:00.000-05:00

At least that's what people say. I'm not sure if this really qualifies:

"HEALDSBURG, Calif. Authorities in wine country are looking for the gunman who allegedly shot a man during an argument early this morning.
Sonoma County sheriff's deputies found 44-year-old Agustin Santiago suffering from a gunshot wound to the stomach shortly after midnight in Healdsburg. Santiago told deputies that Enrique Lira shot him during an argument.Lira was found in a makeshift campsite in a vineyard, but he ran away, eluding deputies and patrol helicopters. Santiago was taken to a hospital for treatment.Authorities say anyone with information about Lira should contact the Sonoma Sheriff's office. (emphasis T.t.S.)

Can't imagine why the host vineyard/winery wasn't mentioned.

Seacrest - In.......Honky - Out.

2006-03-23T15:33:00.000-05:00

Not that I needed another reason to avoid the 2006 Auction Napa Valley, but just in case, I now have it.

Riding the wave of popularity as the nation's best known celebrity host, Ryan Seacrest has been invited to serve as celebrity emcee for 2006 Auction Napa Valley, auction officials announced today.

My only hope for those attending is that this tool can emcee the event more efficiently than he does with American Idol. The F.A. is a bit of a freak for the show. Watching it makes me want to rip my eyes out of my skull. And once Seacrest starts working his 'magic' with the forced drama and break-aways to commercials, I start looking for the nearest bridge to jump off of.

Best of luck A.N.V., you'd better reign him in quick or the event is going last six weeks.

WTF?!?!

2006-03-23T15:23:00.000-05:00

From the SF Chronicle:

Dozens of California wineries are now among the hundreds of businesses that have been hit with what many are calling "predatory" lawsuits relating to lead in stemware.

The lawsuits are based on the California's Safe Drinking Water and Toxic Enforcement Act of 1986, also known as Proposition 65. Businesses that fail to provide proper warning signs about chemicals in glassware, including lead and cadmium, can be liable for penalties of up to $2,500 per violation per day, which when calculated based on the number of individual sales can be significant.

Under the law, a party may file notice of an alleged violation and the state attorney general has 60 days to determine whether to take the case. If the attorney general does not take the case, the private party has a right to file a civil suit. Typically, the plaintiff's attorney offers the defendant the opportunity to "settle."

The situation is reminiscent of American Disability Act lawsuits that have targeted wineries over providing parking spaces for the disabled and wheelchair access to tasting rooms and restrooms.

Note to winery visitors:

You may be presented with a stylish, long-stemmed, over-sized chunk of glass with which to sample the 'fruits' of your host's labor. DO NOT SWALLOW IT! - the glass that is. I've got my opinions about the wine they put in it, but you're on your own there.

I love how to presence of lead in the tasting glass is cause for concern but process by which you would have to ingest it is given short shrift.

Oregon's Next Big Thing?

2006-03-23T15:04:00.000-05:00

At least according to one person, it could very well be Riesling.

"Riesling is definitely underappreciated, or at least misunderstood, by the consumer," says chef Greg Higgins of Higgins restaurant in Portland, "which is too bad because we've got the perfect climate to grow it and all the right culinary ingredients to match well with it."

Old Man Higgins is pretty much right on here. I have opined in the past that the future of Oregon winemaking - hell, American winemaking, for that matter - lies in the correct matching of grape varieties to climate and geology. Of course, there are certain places that this has/is happening, but unfortunately, the vast majority of grapes are planted with solely fiscal purposes in mind. Obviously, the financial return on one's investment is a necessary concern, but more often than not, I feel growers/wineries are trying to anticipate or respond to some sort of trend, be it created by Hollywood or otherwise. Clearly, the trouble with this mentality is not only the fact that the average American has no attention span but also that it takes a number of years for the vine to start producing fruit of any consequence.

This article even makes mention of this having happened in Oregon's past:

"Although riesling played a seminal role in putting the Northwest on the world's wine map (it was riesling after all, not pinot noir, that was the first wine grape to be planted in Oregon), local rieslings have become an afterthought in today's market.

In 2005, for instance, riesling was less than 5 percent of the state's total wine production. For years, vineyard owners ripped riesling vines out of the ground in favor of other grapes."

I can only imagine the calibur of fruit that those (would-be-now-quite-old) vines could have produced. Unfortunately, it will be some time before we know.

My $0.02 on the whole deal:

Start trucking in an ass-load of granite, slate, and schist. This, in conjunction with cooler climates, is what makes real Riesling. In lieu of that, consider a system similar to that of Germany, where the must weight is considered in classifying the wines to be made. While is may be confusing to some percentage of the buying public, it really is the best way to qualify the wines.

Seriously, it makes sense.

And good luck.

Nice.

2006-03-23T14:53:00.000-05:00

State's new tourism slogan has some experts saying, 'Huh?'

So what does $442K get you these days? A new slogan like 'SayWA', that's what.

"According to the state tourism office Web site, "SayWA is a distillation of the sense of wonder that comes with discovery. It describes the moment when an experience becomes emotional. Where the traveler is no longer an observer, but a participant. The SayWA moment."

Ever heard the one about polishing a turd?!? Not that Washington state is one, in fact I think it is a beautiful place. However, this 'slogan' does very little to move me. Of course, WA stop asking for my advice a long time ago, so there you have it.

God willing and the creeks don't rise, the fine folks that run my home state won't enlist these monkeys to revamp out image.

GA-GA for Georgia, I fear.

Cash Crop, you say?

2006-02-16T14:17:00.000-05:00

From the Contra Costa Times:

Gold rush

Olive oil emerges as California's latest cash crop

So Olive oil has earned its rightful spot towards the top of the list with wine, weed and crystal meth.

Nice work, fellas.

Remember When?

2006-02-16T14:10:00.000-05:00

Considering most peoples' attention span consists of about 30 seconds into the future and about 10 seconds in the past, I thought it might be interesting to revisit a little brew-ha-ha from days gone by.

A while back, a whole gaggle of folks figured in true democratic fashion, the French were a bunch of yellow-bellied bastards for not supporting the efforts of the U.S., Britain, et al in effecting some sort of change in the Middle East. For the record, I will refrain from offering my opinion either way on the matter. Ragardless, a great 'boycott' of all things French was 'launched' so as to teach those 'beret-wearin'-fools' a thing or two about how 'we do things'.

Well, the numbers are in. And before you go and break your arm patting yourself on the back, give it a read.

"The unofficial boycott of French wine in the US has cost the country an estimated US$112m (£64m), according to an official study."

That's right... a whopping $112 million American clams. Granted this sounds like a pretty big number, especially if you only have 5 bucks in your pocket but let us put things in perspective. According to the CIA, the estimated GDP of the country of France for the year 2005 is 1.816 trillion dollars. Suffice it to say, that $112m is little more than a bug on the windshield of the Citroën that is France's economy.

Good try, but better luck next time.

Something else to remember from back then:

"Anti-French feeling at the time was running high and many media outlets, including the New York Times, reported on the rejection of French products – most famously with the cafeteria in the US House of Representatives renaming their French Fries as Freedom Fries."

Yep. With myriad things happening the world over and the proverbial 'Shit' about to hit the fan, our elected Representatives felt it absolutely necessary to change the already mis-named fried foodstuff in an effort to show their solidarity.

Unreal.

And lastly the quote of the article:

'I would like to pinpoint a drop in French wine sales to something as specific as opposition to the Iraq invasion, but unfortunately it is more complicated than that,' Barton told decanter.com. 'Statistics are like a bikini – they give you the idea, but hide the details.'

Right on, Barton.

Breaking News!!!!!

2006-02-14T17:44:00.000-05:00

Given the current climate of technology, one could make a pretty persuasive argument that the general public is more (and better?) informed on all things wine. I would like to think so but then again maybe not so much:

Blended Wines Gain Popularity

"When you think of red wine, Merlot and Cabernet probably come to mind, but there's a type of red wine that's gaining in popularity; a blend."

Fish on!!! We've got a live one, here. What Channel 10 - On Your Side fails to mention is the simple fact that the overwhelming majority of wine is indeed a blend. That's right, despite that which wineries would like you to believe, they do take a bit of this to round out that and so on.

At the risk of offending a certain population of this great country, it seems the folks in Columbus, Ohio need things spelled out for them, literally.

"Blends use more than one grape...

It's unbelievable.

"Consumer Reports' Maxine Siegel just tested seven different blends, including ones from Kendall-Jackson, Penfolds, and Rosemount Estate.
Industry experts assess each wine, evaluating the color, aroma, and flavors. They're looking for a wine that has a good balance of fruit, acidity and tannin."

So Maxine Siegel just tasted 7 wines, yet others (i.e. the experts) evaluate myriad components when assessing a wine. I guess it's safe to say that Maxine ain't no expert.

Siegel says, "A good blend goes with broiled, roasted, or grilled meats and chicken. It also goes with savory side dishes like yams, squash, and portabella mushrooms."

For the record, how many other ways are there to prepare meats (and chicken for that matter) besides broiling, roasted, or grilled? And I'm sure this is a matter of semantics but the words savory and yams are damn near polar opposites, at least down South.

"When all the tasting was done, Consumer Reports found one very good blend.

Rosemount Estate Shiraz-Cabernet 2004 has rich fruit flavors. It costs $8 a bottle.

If you like Merlot, Consumer Reports tested those, too. The top-rated is Gallo of Sonoma Reserve 2002. It has big, full fruit flavors with subtle nuances and costs $13 a bottle."

So the lesson learned is two-fold: Don't watch Channel 10 News in Columbus, Oh and don't seek wine advice from Consumer Reports.

To be honest, I had no idea that CR was doing wine reviews and I have probably picked up exactly 2 issues of this magazine in 31 years but these recommendations make me seriously question their credibility on just about everything else.

He said, She said.

2006-01-27T16:18:00.000-05:00

As has become a nearly daily ritual since the Supreme Court ruling last year, yet another state is considering a total re-vamping of all things alcohol. Enter the latest, so far as I know, Virginia.

First vote squeezes wineries

From the arlticle:

"The House ABC and Gaming subcommittee voted 4-1 to recommend that the General Laws Committee kill a bill that would preserve the right of small Virginia wineries to distribute their products to restaurants and stores."

I suppose "The House ABC and Gaming subcommittee" rolls off the tongue a little better than "Appomattox Vice". The former probably leaves a little more to the imagination as well.

"Half of the state's wineries produce less than 2,500 cases in a year. The wineries make about a fourth of their sales through self-distribution, said Terri Coffer Beirne, a winery lobbyist."

According to VirginiaWines.org there were 90 wineries in this fine state as of April, 2005. So half (45)of them make less than 2500 cases. 'About' one quarter of their production (625 per winery) is sold via 'direct sales'. I would have to believe that the vast majority of the remaining production is sold at the winery itself. So going with these few figures provided, the total direct sales from the 45 wineries mention is a whopping 28,125 cases. This is literally a 'drop in the bucket' vis-a-vis the number of cases sold via 'conventional' means (i.e. Distributors). The wineries know it. The Distros know it. I'd be willing to bet one or two of the fine folks on the Vice Squad know it.

And yet they won't let it go.

"Chuck Duvall, executive director of the Virginia Wine Wholesalers Association, said 3,400 workers of wine wholesalers could lose their jobs if the wineries bill passes."

What a douchebag!?! Does Monsieur Duvall realy expect anyone to believe that allowing these small family run wineries that, honestly most people are unware exist and couldn't care less about, that allowing them to ship direct is going to put all wine wholesalers and their employees in line at the soup kitchen?

I suppose in the face of something ridiculous, the only answer is to be more ridiculous. Hell, it works in D.C., why not Richmond?

Virginia's for lovers (at least those who love campaign donations).

Back at it.

2006-01-23T19:05:00.000-05:00

A while back I wrote about Hiroshi Tanaka and his super-duper magic wine thingy. Apparently it's a bit of a slow news day so CNN has picked this p.o.s up one more time.

Speeding up time for wine

There really isn't anything in this article that hasn't been written about before. The gist of the contraption is that though electrolysis (that's right, the same method used in chroming the pipes on the sweet-ass chopper you just bought from O.C.C.), the most trite wine can be converted into a First Growth Bordeaux.

In the words of Lumbergh (i.e. Office Space): Right.

There were two pretty good quotes.

"I don't see how a machine could turn low quality wine into a magical and mature wine in seconds. I don't believe in it," said Emmanuel Delmas, Sommelier at the celebrated Fouquet's Restaurant on Paris's Champs Elysees.

And then the ringer:

"I know we'll face a lot of resistance from within the wine industry -- we already have," he said, recollecting a time in 2002 the firm took a prototype of the device to a wine producer in Italy. He declined to name the producer.

"We were told to leave the room, leave the country," he recalled. "And never come back."

Right on. Good luck, Tanaka. I think you're gonna need it.

You get what you pay for.

2006-01-23T18:50:00.000-05:00

Looking over the days 'news' I came across the following little dity:

Wine Institute Encourages Developing "California message"

In reading the title alone, my noodle got spinning. I have opined in the past about the attempts of myriad wineries waxing eloquent about the singularity of their 'piece of paradise' on their websites and various other forms of propaganda and then ultimately resolving themselves (or simply embrassing) the umbrella of 'Napa' or 'Central Coast', etc, etc.... It seems to me to be bit of 'having your cake and eating it too'. Couple this with the effective meaningless-ness that is the AVA system in California (as well as Oregon and Washington State) and the message seems pretty damn clear:

Buy our wine...We don't care why, just buy it.

Ultimately, this may be the wish of any and probably all winemakers/wineries. And if so, then what's the point in 'getting out the message' on California?

"We have beautiful regions with distinct personalities, soils and microclimates that rival the world's best, talented and ingenious winemakers and outstanding California cuisine....

Beautiful regions? Sure, buy a post card.
Distinct personalities? I bet. Unfortunately most of those personalities must be viewed through oak/alcohol colored glasses.
Soils and microclimates that rival the world's best? I think you might be getting a little carried away.

You get the drift.

"Though California wines have experienced 12 years of consecutive growth, the U.S. wine market is increasingly competitive."

Let me count the ways. Everybody and their brother now has a winery in California. Hell, the organization that issued this press release counts amongst their members "887 California wineries and affiliated businesses whose members account for 85 percent of U.S. wine production and 95 percent of U.S. wine exports." I wonder where that competition is coming from? With ample help from all sorts of media, the beverage wine has and continues to be marginalized as something more akin to Jordache jeans then a real foodstuff and an item that should be part of your daily regiment.

"The wine media can also be powerful influencers of brand preference."

Genius.

"Offer your customers more experiences with you, such as sending video clips of winery principals..."

I know I'm in the severe minority, but I need a movie of some ass-clown running around his vineyards extolling the virutes of 'the loam' like I need a hole in my head.

And now the latest nominee for 'Master of the Obvious':

Nancy Light recommended that vintners identify one or two unique characteristics about their wineries to differentiate themselves from the competition. Winemakers might even consider focusing marketing attention on one varietal or a particular wine style that would be memorable and create a "halo effect" for the rest of their portfolio.

At the risk of sounding like a totally jaded bastard, shouldn't those one or two unique characteristics be found somewhere close to the bottle...like inside it?!? And as far as the 'halo effect', Ms. Light is way ahead of the curve on this one. I can't really think of more than two or three hundred wineries that have come up with some sort of silly name for their totally unique 'proprietary blend'.

Light also suggested adding suppliers and other trade customers to the newsletter mailing list and emphasized treating tasting room visitors like "royalty."

I guess the old 'Treat 'em like shit and they'll come back for more' approach didn't really pan out.

Thanks for the advice. It's a good thing I didn't pay for it.
Unfortunatley, someone else did.

A sobering 2 1/2 days.

2006-01-17T18:38:00.000-05:00

Over the weekend I had a plethora of emotions running through me. Saturday saw a very busy day at the shop capped off with yet another amazing meal at one of my favorite restaurants, here or otherwise, Elizabeth on 37th. The Brothers Butch pulled out the guns and a great time was had by all. Wines included:

Champagne Delamotte NV Brut
Domaine Guffens-Heynen Mâcon-Pierreclos 2002
Lycée Viticole Hautes Côtes de Beaune Rouge 2001
Bandol Rouge 1998 (producer escapes me)
Late Harvest Chardonnay from Guillemot-Michel 1992
Banyuls 2001 (producer escapes me)

It was amazing. Got to bed around 1.30 in the a.m. 7.00 would be coming early.

Wake up straight away and hit that long black ribbon called lonesome. A good friend of mine had moved from to Savannah to New Orleans, then evacuated back here and decided he was staying for good. So we went down to gather up the remainder of his worldly possessions.

If you haven't been to this part of the country since 'The Storm', you simply have no idea the extent to which the entire region has been damaged. I know it's not fashionable to talk about these things nowadays with all the brew-ha-ha that is the Abrahamoff scandal and now ole Mr. Lott's prayed it over and decided that he's gonna run for a 4th term..."to do the right thing for the people of the region". My take is that he lost all his shit like everybody else in Mississippi, so why the hell not give it a go for another 6 years, bilk the populi for another couple of pay raises and live out the rest of his days on the largesse of us monkeys.

I digress.

Regardless of your belief or non-belief in some higher being/power, imagine the most grand definition of the word 'awesome' and then multiply that ten-fold. Then you might be getting close to the shear devistation that 'The Storm' brought to the Gulf coast.

I have a very special place in my heart for the city of New Orleans - the good, the bad, and the ugly. With that in mind, I can only hazard a guess that it will be at least 10 years before that city is anywhere close to what it once was.

It will take someone much smarter than I to figure out how to put it back together. I took multiple pictures while I was there, but much like the ones on the boob-tube, they don't come anywhere close to properly conveying the reality there.

Godspeed, NOLA.

Hmmm.

2006-01-12T14:03:00.000-05:00

For all the lip-flipping I do about New World vs. Old World, I think I have reached the acme of all that is wrong with the former.

Shingleback 'Black Bubbles' Sparkling Shiraz

From their 'tasting notes':

Deep garnet colour with vibrant magenta bubbles. Aromas of concetrated black currant with hints of licorice, spice and dark cherries. Creamy bubbles and luscious sweetness envelop the plump blackberry mid-palate, which is enhanced with hints of savory development. The long sweet fruit finish is balanced with fine tannin and acidity.

I'm not sure what all of that means but it has nothing to do with the wine that I just tasted. First off, the wine is nearly opaque and the 'bubbles' were not visible. As for the rest of this blah, blah, blah - it was more like drinking from the syrup carousel at IHOP than any wine I have ever had.

Another little tidbit under 'vintage note':

This is a non-vintage wine blended froma number of years of Shiraz to create complexity and consistency in the style.

Translation: We bottled all the left over crap that we had, force-carbonated it and are trying to pass it off as something you should put in your body.

Don't believe it. This sucks. And they want +/- $20.00 American - WHOLESALE - for a bottle. Unreal.

This is a wine(?) for people who don't like sparkling or Shiraz. Honestly, I can't think of a single good reason that this wine is made. In fact, if anybody 'down under' is listening, save the bottle, and the label, and even the CO2 and just distill your oversupply into industrial alcohol. The world would be a better place for it.

I can only hope that their 'still' wines are marginally better. If not, 'Shitback' (as in - "Send this...") might be a little more à-propos.

Ha-Ha!!! I'm back.

The patience of Job

2005-12-20T17:50:00.000-05:00

It was on this night, seven whole years ago, that a woman known around these parts as the Financial Advisor (F.A. for short) came into my life. There is simply no way to put into words the impact that she has had on my life. And I can say with absoulte certainty that very little of what I enjoy today would be possible without her.

As per the title of this post, she deserves a friggin' medal.

But alas, a medal she will not get.

Nope. Instead, I am taking here to my favorite 'greasy spoon' around the corner from my house. We will feast on Fried Chicken and Mac & Cheese and wash it down with a bottle of NV Champagne Heidseck Monopole 'Blue Top'. Next up will be either a 98 Barbaresco from Grasso or a 95 Barolo from Giacomo Conterno - haven't yet decided. And finally, if she's up to it (and I suspect she is) Selbach-Oster Zeltinger Schlossberg Riesling Auslese* in 375ml.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Happy Anniversary to Miss Katrina and me.