CursingMama

Begged To Be Posted

2009-12-12T15:50:00.000-06:00

I know, I know - less fluff more filling... but THIS quiz (I have not tired of inane quizzes, no I haven't) got down on both knees and begged me to post it. The whole affair was rather ugly and unflattering so I'm not going to go into details, but suffice it to say - Not Pretty.

You Are Laundry

You are efficient, speedy, and on top of things. You aren't a very hands on person, and you prefer to delegate as much as possible.

You believe the quickest way to get things done is to just do them. You don't procrastinate much.

You prevent getting overwhelmed by not taking on more than you can handle. And you're not afraid to do something quickly to get it out of the way.

Technology is your friend, and you love gadgets. You'd like a lot more of your life to be automated!

What Household Chore Are You?

The Definition of Doginality

2009-12-10T06:12:00.000-06:00

When I began pondering the idea of a column I never thought that this is how I would begin. I really thought that I'd start off with something less emotional, less heartbreaking, with fewer tears and certainly a happy or at least satisfying ending. Unfortunately, every time I sit down with the intention to write about the other things that present themselves I know that I am ignoring that which shouldn't, couldn't be ignored.

Sometime ago I developed a habit of playing with my earrings; I suspect it started when ThePrincess had her ears pierced (like 9 years ago) and we used to twist them together for better healing or why ever it is they tell you to twist them. At any rate, I am an earring fiddler.

Several weeks ago while driving across town to retrieve a child from some child activity I reached for my left ear out of habit and realized that I had no earring, I immediately felt my right ear and discovered that I hadn't just forgotten to put some in my, left earring was missing. I was heartsick, a gift from Mr.Motorcycle for Christmas several years ago, these diamond studs were the perfect, go anywhere, just right for me earrings.

Of course I felt around in my hair, on my coat, I even checked the seats of the car when I got a chance, but the earring was not to be found. That didn't stop me from continually reaching for the ear, and getting the sharp reminder that I had lost something I treasured.

The last time I had to write an emotionally painful post I called on the Official Blog Spokescat to fill in and release the news, but this time even Jack is sad. You see, losing that precious, treasured jewel was nothing compared to what else was lost that weekend and like my repeated attempts to fiddle with my earring not a day has gone by without a jarring reminder of what is really gone.

It is with my heart in my throat and tears in my eyes that I must tell you about the passing of the dearest, sweetest, best dog in the world.

Even though Harley was with us for less than a year our love for him feels like a lifetime, he was that special. He did a wonderful job of making himself at home in the hearts of everyone he met and even though we've had a few weeks of healing time there is still a giant hole where Harley used to sit.

I miss so much about him the thought of trying to put into words what we've lost is overwhelming, but a memorial needs to include as many special moments as possible and that is what I'm going to try to do.

I said he had personality,

he called it DOGINALITY.

I miss the thump of his tail when I walk past the places where he used to wait for us to come and pet him.

I miss his enthusiastic greeting every time I come in the house, and how excited he was to see me even if I'd only been out for a minute.

I miss watching him throw his ball up in the air to catch it over and over; I miss stepping on his beloved duck toy, listening to it quack, and having him race to it so I stop playing with it.

He LOVED his toys - but balls, particularly a little orange squeaky basketball looking thing, were his favorite. He tolerated toy stealing by Jack, and never once when Benny scolded him for squeaking that basketball too much (by whopping Harley in the head with his thankfully claw free paw) did he give Benny a piece of his mind.

I miss hearing about his daily adventures, the walks he took Mr. Motorcycle on, the parks they visited, and the places he saw from his perch in the back seat of the car.

He loved to ride in the car with his head out the window, even when it was below zero. Mr. Motorcycle made sure he got as many car rides as possible.

I miss being asked if he can go with every single time I pick up my car keys and put on my shoes.

I miss his excitement when we head outside to do chores. I miss his positive reaction to his leash and I can't believe I won't get to take him for another walk in the snow.

He loved to play in the snow, it may have been partly because he looked so good in his boots. I liked the way he pranced in them.

I'll miss seeing him get antsy when we pack to go to the cabin, whispering the word "cabin" because he knew what it meant.

All trips to the cabin start with a great car ride (note the smile)

And include a lot time hanging out at the lake

I miss that he ignored the turkeys in our the backyard but thought the deer were his mortal enemy. Well, deer and people on bicycles.

This is how he felt about people on bicycles when seen from the back seat.

He was always ready to have his belly rubbed -

and he had no shame when it came to his larger than life, louder than a trombone, stinkier than a manure farm (or skunk) farts.

I still reach over the side of the chair to rub his velvety soft ears while I read, I miss him telling me it's time for petting with a gentle nudge, and I still check to make sure he isn't sitting on the floor under my feet before I climb out of the couch.

We loved him fiercely and miss him like I just can't describe.

Good-bye dear, sweet, puppy. You will never be forgotten.

The Columnist

2009-12-04T22:48:00.008-06:00

When I was in high school I spent countless hours reading just about anything I could get my hands on, except text books. I vividly remember reading the entertainment section of the newspaper and my various teen themed magazines and envying the writers who had my dream job, they were columnists.

My early fascination may explain why my favorite character from Sex in the City was Carrie Bradshaw (although she did have great shoes too) or why one of my favorite television shows ever is Murphy Brown. I know Murphy wasn't a columnist, but she was a journalist, and she was a strong female character that thumbed her nose at the political party in charge at the time (Bush the Senior).

When I began blogging in September of 2004 I was looking for a place to socialize, gather my thoughts, and get some stuff off my chest. Over the last 5+ years my little blog has grown and changed right along with me. There were periods where I worked at posting every single day, periods where I tried really hard to reach out and network a lot, and even times where the blog and it's existence were the last thing on my mind. Lately I've found that my lunch time is non-existent and my free time in the evenings is nearly always full, making the care and keeping of the blogs difficult.

I've pulled back on my review commitments significantly to not only remove some of the pressure but also to work on making my reviews more professional. Not So Humble Opinions will continue on just not as I had originally intended; instead the few reviews I commit to will get more screen time and I hope to expand and review things that have no commitments attached to them.

And here at the original home of CursingMama I expect that my posting will be a little less regular but the quality will improve. Less fluff, more filling. Imagine I'm a columnist like Carrie Bradshaw and I write about things that inspire me based on what's going on in my crazy life...

I hope you'll like where this is going.

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I should mention that I'm still lipping off and talking smack just about every day on Twitter and those missives of brilliance and scraps of conversation are always fed into the sidebar, as long as I don't break the code.

The Purse Cam Rides Again

2009-12-02T15:33:00.003-06:00

I just found these lurking in my purse cam - dying to be shared...

They're from a day trip we took about a month ago across the river into the fabled land of Wisconsin. I hear they make cheese there.

Note: I did not photograph any cheese.

Hello Mother, Hello Father

2009-11-30T15:27:00.002-06:00

Recently we had a nice discussion over a fine turkey dinner about the upcoming santa holiday and the things that each of us wished for. We discovered that despite the fact that mom had thrown out her makeup brushes by accident and my bath towels are looking raggy none of us really NEEDS anything. I felt spoiled all day, knowing that my needs are being met - well except for the raggy bath towel thing but even that is easily rectified. Imagine my surprise when I attempting to find something to post about today this is not sad, angry making, or lame I resorted to quizes (THEY ARE NOT LAME) and discovered

You Are 8% Spoiled

You are definitely not spoiled. You've worked hard for what you have.
Down to earth and grounded, you don't need a lot to make you happy.

Are You Spoiled?

Clearly you have some work to do.

Love & Kisses
Your most favorite child (we know the truth)

CursingMama

PS - I won't tell the others about the favorite child thing.

The Right to SPEAK

2009-11-25T10:23:00.009-06:00

The story of the first Thanksgiving, United States style, is somewhat epic in elementary classrooms across the country. Pilgrims in funny clothes & hats have a party to thank the Native Americans for teaching them how to survive in the wilds. The way history tells it, the party lasted for three days sometime in October and featured games, races, bow & arrow skills by the Native Americans and musket shooting skills by the Pilgrims.

I don't know about you but I am not too terribly enamored with the idea of spending 3 days playing games with my family if it includes races and weapons. We are a competitive bunch and that kind of get together would likely land us as a featured story in News of the Weird.

From those simple, and quite possibly dangerous beginnings, Thanksgiving has taken on a greater and deeper meaning for many people; even for those who must brace themselves and take a deep breathe before entering the home of relatives or welcoming them into theirs. It's a time we focus on the blessings n our lives and hopefully allow them to outshine the challenges and troubles.

Trying not to notice the lack of Snickerdoodles

Every year I try to find something special to go along with my typical list of treasured blessings (family, health, a home, a job, love, laughter); something that sometimes goes without notice, something that I don't always remember to be thankful for. There were a few contenders this year, but when I stumbled upon a post about Matt Damon functioning with little or no sleep over at MamaPop I knew exactly what I was going to choose.

And it doesn't have much to do with sleep or Matt Damon.

This Thanksgiving I'm going to focus on being thankful for Democracy and Liberty... without them, I might not have anything to be thankful for.

AND - I'm really looking forward to The People Speak on the History Channel which is the Matt Damon project that MamaPop was highlighting and how I got this whole Democracy & Liberty idea!

Democracy is not a spectator sport. Using dramatic and musical performances of the letters, diaries and speeches of everyday Americans, THE PEOPLE SPEAK gives voice to those who spoke up for social change throughout U.S. history, forging a nation from the bottom up with their insistence on equality and justice. Narrated by Howard Zinn and based on his best-selling books, A People's History of the United States and Voices of a People's History, THE PEOPLE SPEAK illustrates the relevance of these passionate historical moments to our society today and reminds us never to take liberty for granted.

*Coming in December!

~Happy Thanksgiving~

Dracula Versus Edward - No Smackdown Necessary

2009-11-23T05:45:00.001-06:00

I am not rushing out to see the latest movie installment in the wildly popular Twilight series; even though I read a fair amount and I love a good series there are many reasons why this isn't on my "To Do" list:

Did not read the books
Do not generally enjoy Vampire stories
Am not in favor of promoting stalking and icky boyfriend stuff
Really don't go to movies anyway
What I learned about movie popcorn from Meg Cabot on Twitter

I have had some concern that I would be forced to see this movie with ThePrincess and possibly a group of equally Edward Swoony teen girls but another, better, more caring, totally nominated for mother or the year mom has stepped up to the plate and has secured tickets for them all.

I'm not convinced her offer to plan and chaperone this outing is really for the girls or, if the girls are part of an elaborate cover story so she can see the movie without admitting to her addiction. It really doesn't matter - I'm not going.

When it comes to the vampire - I am apparently Old School

You Are Dracula

You are deeply manipulative, and you have no qualms about being completely evil whenever it suits you.
You only look out for yourself, and you'll seek hardcore vengeance against anyone who stands in your way.
Unlike most vampires, you're only in it for the blood and power. Seduction and mind games don't appeal to you.
You are in it for the kill, pure and simple. You see other people as your dinner.

What Famous Vampire Are You?

PS I loved watching old B&W Dracula movies as a kid and read Salems Lot as a teenager so this may have shaped my interpretation of vampires forever.

Maybe when my college hoodie becomes fashionable

2009-11-20T12:21:00.006-06:00

As you know, one day in fashion you are in
and the next day you are out!

If you haven't watched the big bad Project Runway Finale and want to see who the winner is before you know how I feel about it...well, you might want to skip the bits between the fancy spacers.... thats my signal for OVER SHARING

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Last night I stayed up late to watch the finale of Project Runway and Models of the Runway. I know that my pretend money was on Carol Hanna Whitfield (who, if you are interested has two etsy sites -Collections Here and Wedding Dresses Here) but I also had that sinking feeling that Irina (I refrain from using the name Logan told us about because I object to the hat thing he insisted on wearing all the damn time) would win.
PS. I hated her hats, but got the concept.- What. Ever.

** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

Also, if a judge is unable to dress themselves and appear fashionable or fashion forward in any way shape or form (anymore- out of touch - etc...) what qualifies them to be a style icon/fashionreporter/judge?

I'm not knocking Suzy Menkes, I just think maybe the fashion critic/judge industry needs some fresh faces. But! not me - as evidenced by this and my beloved collection of oversized hooded sweatshirts

Your Fashion Style is Casual

You prefer to keep it laid back. Jeans and a t-shirt are practically your uniform.
And when you dress up, you're still the most informal person in the room. Dressing formally makes you feel stuffy.
Just because you're casual, it doesn't mean you're unfashionable. In fact, you often look effortlessly chic.
You know how to rock a perfect fitting pair of jeans and a funky t-shirt. Not many adults can pull off your look, but you can!

What's Your Fashion Style?

And Now, A Word from the Bennster

2009-11-18T09:39:00.003-06:00

Mom is writing over at Not So Humble Opinions today about a training manual for cats. She thinks it's a manual for me, when in reality it is a manual for HER! ~ Benny

The #5

2009-11-17T14:10:00.001-06:00

This weekend I visited 2 places in Anoka Minnesota (Halloween Capital of the world- BOO!) in my ongoing quest to be a greener human being - and have all the best yarn even though I don't knit nearly enough.

So! No pictures because I forgot my camera....

First Stop: The all new home of Shepherds Choice in downtown Anoka. There was a lot of yarn, some live music, a tasting station with cookies, tea & wine AND a bunch of their all natural soaps, moisturizers, lip balms.... you get the point. Love the new store - a lot of helpful employees willing to find you whatever it is your looking for and umm, TREATS!

Second Stop: Lakewinds Coop. The Anoka location is pretty small but we did happen to find some darn tasty yogurt covered pretzels and as Mr. Motorcycle discovered they have cucumbers that have not been covered in wax. I don't know if I could really do my shopping here, but it would certainly be a good resource for anyone who lives closer than I do and could stop by more than once every few weeks.

I do see a monthly trip to Whole Foods in my future though - they are a great resource for recycling those pesky #5 plastics that I can not get rid of curbside. The whole story of what to bring (CLEAN #5 plastics & dry Brita filters) and what's done with them can be found on the Whole Foods Blog or the Preserve Products Gimmie 5 web home.

Posting, commenting & visiting will be sketchy this week.

The Best Of Me

2009-11-13T15:24:00.003-06:00

On a busy Friday - all my best stuff has been posted to Twitter and even that wasn't so great.

It's Friday - Yipee! I'm wearing jeans - double Yipee! I have nowhere to be at any time this weekend other than delivering a certain child to that childs activities - kinda Yipee!

I think I'll make chicken enchilada's and homemade bread this weekend. I realize they aren't natural things that go together, but I'm in the mood for both. I don't expect them to end up on the table at the same time.

But don't rule it out.

One thing I've learned today - and tweeted - is that having someone read over your shoulder is grossly overrated. All day a certain person has been very interested in my computer screen* and all day I have been tilting and closing and all sorts of things and I will now formally declare that this over the shoulder reader is 100% to blame for my lack of awesome content today.

Heck - The over the shoulder reader is 100% to blame for everything that ever went awry ever.

Moving on.... It's Friday so it is also Quiz DAY!

Do you look forward to quizzes as much as I do?

Don't answer that...

Your Reputation Is: Mystery Girl

You're the girl that everyone is trying to figure out.
Men are attracted to your intriguing persona - and women want to copy it!

Do You Have A Bad Girl Reputation?

Very appropriate quiz answer - fits me to a "T"

Stop rolling your eyes!

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*I'm betting the interest in my computer screen has something to do with the vacation approvals I'm processing. I love having power. Bwahahaha

Motivation in the form of television

2009-11-12T06:23:00.004-06:00

This isn't about my love hate relationship with my scale or the fact that my favorite pair fat jeans aren't as loose as they once were - I SWEAR.

THIS is about my quest to be a healthy person - a person who isn't wiped out and longing to be snoozing on the couch at 7:30, hell at my desk by 2:30 - a person who can at least keep up with her kid when trying to get the soccer ball away - a person who will strap on a pair of skates and enjoy public skate - a person who sets a healthy example for her children rather than her children setting the example when it comes to physical fitness.

The kids, they are crap when it comes to food. I am partly to blame for this because I have yet (despite 12 years of trying) to wrap my arms around getting everything done, attending all of the kidlet activities, and still getting a nutritious meal on the table for everyone to eat at the same time. I used to Let's Dish but that became too repetitive (not to mention expensive & the kids weren't always thrilled about the food anyway) and over the last year I have realized that we are rarely on the same page about when to eat - and even less so ready to eat at the same time.

ANYWAY - Somewhere on the Internet I read about someone...
Okay, at Bodies in Motivation I read an article about how one person (which article and which person I can not remember) used television she wanted to see as her motivator to put time in on the treadmill.

I did this once with books on cd & it worked pretty well - until I finished my last book and got stuck on a library waiting list for the next book I wanted and the glittery sparklies fell off the whole program. (I think my lack of financial dedication may have had an affect on this also)

I've decided to try the TV motivator - and choose a show I've always wished I watched but never really had the time to get caught up so I haven't started.... I can guarantee it won't be LOST so don't even suggest it. I have narrowed the field to 5 contenders:

Weeds - Recently widowed mom to 2 teens decides to keep her lifestyle supported with a little home grown business -

Mad Men Mysterious and dangerous advertising executives of a prestigious Manhattan firm - ohh la la

Nip / Tuck Miami plastic surgeons living the high life gone awry and their way crazy patients

Dexter Dude! Blood pattern CSI guy goes after the bad guys that slip through the cracks... so a serial killer whose victims are often serial killers.

Ally McBeal Quirky attorney lives her life with similarly quirky peeps and has bizarre visions (okay, so I've seen this whole show from beginning to end possibly more than once but I miss Ally and her McBealing and I never see it in syndication so I'm putting it on the list)

Since they all look sooo good I can't pick - so I'm taking it all under advisement.....

You can vote, you can comment, you can even make suggestions for something else you think I should watch on the treadmill - or another way to motivate me (I already tried reading a book, it was a total fail - I fell & nearly deposited my lunch on the exercise floor)

Ready - Set - Go!

Not Unlike HGTV

2009-11-10T05:15:00.002-06:00

Was it wrong to do the happy dance when I discovered that Sesame Street is older than me? It turns 40 today.

I remember picking the show back up when Gameboy was about 3 and finding that everyone on Sesame Street knew all about Alloysius Snuffleupagus and his existence wasn't in question at all....
I was ticked I hadn't gotten to see the reveal.

Tents - they're not just for camping anymore.

2009-11-09T04:55:00.000-06:00

I am sad to report that my cellular telephone companion is approximately 12 million years old.

This wee relic of cellular technology came to me long before cameras were standard and this is totally to blame for my lack of photographic evidence regarding the shocking incident in my friendly neighborhood Target establishment I am about to tell you about.

Last week I went to Target (this is not the shocking part) and while there I noticed a group of teenage mutants.

I have taken to calling them mutants because this whole breed of person known as a "teenager" is not normal; not a single one of them. In fact I believe those who are able to appear normal are in fact the most dangerous of them all - they are successfully hiding their mutation from adults.

ANYWAY! I was at Target, and there were 3 mutants. The lead male mutant, the lead mutants female attachment, and the sidekick/wingman/bro/preventerofnookie. Typically I do not pay too terribly much attention to mutants, I have a couple of my own and it takes a lot to grab my attention since I have been fairly desensitized... HOWEVER the lead male mutant was the kind of guy who demanded attention.

He was wearing one of those ski hats with yarn braided pig tails hanging down and a giant ass bigger than what I used to have on my roller skates pom-pom on top. The hat was "attention getting" but it was not the sealer of the deal. Nope.

He was wearing navy blue sweat pants with a drawstring waist (you will thank me for the drawstring waist) and white boxer shorts with red wings on them. I am guessing they speak to his love of the Detroit Red Wings Hockey team; although I don't think this is what the merchandisers of the NHL had in mind when they put these male undergarments on the market I am a little impressed with the kids willingness to root for a different team in Wild Hockey territory.

My lack of technology in the cellular telephone department forced me to create the dramatic reenactment for you using paint or some other free painty program installed on my computer

I drew the Rear View - and my lack of drawing skills forced me to use a red cowboy hat instead of a Detroit Red Wing to embellish the undergarments. And that grey thing is the shirt.

As my drawing notes the drawstring of this mutants pants had them firmly secured Under the buttockal area. Meaning that he was really working to keep them secured on his upper thighs and had more trouble executing his mutant strut than I do in stilleto heels while wearing a pencil skirt (that 1 time, it was ugly and never repeated again) and oh yeah - I and every other person in Target was looking at his ass through his cheap ass flimsy boxer shorts- why even bother with the pants?

My drawing also notes another ummm issue with the lack of appropriate coverage. I am thinking this is partly why he did bother with the pants, even though they were uniformly secured around his upper thighs and doing NOTHING to contain or conceal private information.

The lead mutant must have really been liking either the feel of flapping in the wind or how close his female attachment was (and there was hardly a sliver of light between them) because if I had drawn this from the front view I'd be having my computer confiscated by the authorities for drawing that kind inappropriate material and publishing it on a public website - all despite the fact I was just reporting what I saw with my own eyes in a public place on display for anyone to see with no shame on the lead mutants part.

PS - if any cellular companies (I personally use the one that starts with a T and ends with a Mobile) would like to supply me with a more technologically advanced cellular communication device for reviewing and such - I would totally not object.

Proof of Something!

2009-11-06T11:09:00.003-06:00

As I'm sure you can imagine, my discovery of something that is clearly not nothing in the kingdom of Mr. Motorcycle was not a subject I dropped. No, it was a subject I used my Supper Naggy Strength on to get the kinds of answers only a woman who has married a man that is know for being up to something needs to get.

I was relentless and used every trick in the book. Okay, maybe not all of them, some of them I am saving for even more nefarious scenes.

Nothing was:

Never before seen on lifehacker.com (although a very good website that Mr. Motorcycle should stay the hell away from)
Slightly dangerous with little pokey things, sharp edges and a pair of formidable scissors
Had nothing to do with whatever it was Shelly and her college roommate were up to
Left on the workbench almost as it were forgotten and seemed unrelated to anything else going on in the kingdom
Sadly for Kathy Howe, in a former life that was a Diet Sprite can, so it can not contribute to the beer can hat of her dreams
not related to the construction of tuberous vegetable weaponry (although now he has ideas for that I'm sure)

Returning to the Scene of the Inquisition/Crime

CursingMama (CM): Just tell me what it is and I'll get off your case.

Mr.Motorcycle (Him): Fine, its a metal shim for the forward control shift arm and lever on my bike.

CM hears "it is a metal shim for a vital piece of equipment that keeps the motorcycle from killing me"

CM: You're kidding me. What is it really?

Him: I told you, I was trying to make a metal shim for the forward control shift arm and lever.

CM hears "Yes! I am using a piece of flimsy pop can to keep my motorcycle together so I can ride it super fast"

CM: That doesn't sound very smart. Can't you use glue or something?

Him is clearly exasperated by CM but soldiers on.

Him: Glue doesn't work on chrome. All I needed was a little piece of metal to keep things from slipping.

CM hears "I ride so fast that the thing just literally vibrates apart! There is no way glue could do that kind of job. This little piece of flimsy metal will keep that speed control army deal bopper thing from just flying off the bike while I'm riding."

CM: Did it work?

Him: Nope

End Scene

I don't know what he has done to keep that speed control army deal bopper thing from just flying off. I'm guessing glue, although I don't know how I feel about his motorcycle being glued together either.

Not Nothing

2009-11-05T12:40:00.003-06:00

A scene from earlier this year

Setting: Garage/Kingdom of Mr. Motorcycle

CursingMama passes by ~~alter~~ workbench and notices some kind of bizzare offering project

CursingMama (CM): Whats that?

Mr.Motorcycle (Him): Nothing.

CM: That is not nothing.

Him: Is to.

CursingMama retrieves something from her purse

Him: What are you doing?

CM: Nothing

Him: That is not nothing.

CM: Is to.

Him: Why are you taking a picture of nothing?

CM: Because it's not nothing.

Him: You're blogging this aren't you.

CM: Of course.

I give you

NOTHING!

You be the judge - what do you think nothing is?

After Dark

2009-11-04T14:23:00.002-06:00

If you thought you spotted me late Monday afternoon sitting in my car with my eyes closed and my head turned toward the light, you just may have had a valid sighting!

Monday morning I ~~spoke~~ wrote of the miracle of seeing the sun and my desperate need to leave the office immediately to spend the day soaking up the goodness of the yellow ball. My initial thoughts were to fake a life changing paper cut in order to leave the building & use sick hours rather than vacation hours for the mental health time I feel I'm due.

Several of you suggested other, nefarious yet intriguing options to get me the hell out of the office:

Chris thought I should "steal ketchup from the fridge so it looks like a lot of blood... if no one gets close enough to smell it..."

Shelly suggested I "break a nail AND get a papercut! Both of those things happening at once will surely be reason enough to go home. Also, just walk with a limp and say it's an "old shopping injury that flairs up from time to time..."

Keri, Julie, and Guinfer all thought showing symptoms of pig virus would be an easy "get out of office free card"

Unfortunately I got to busy to test any of the theories and ended up spending the day stuck behind the glass.

What I neglected to remember Monday afternoon as I was planning how I would get some sun after I got home was the arrival of dusk.... Apparently this whole Daylight Savings Time Fall Back I got a whole extra hour of sleep on Saturday has resulted in more than just a whacked body clock - it has also resulted in my arrival home at dusk...

No Sun For You!

Other interesting affects of this time change:

My body still reads 5:30 AM as 5:30 AM - it does not feel like 6:30 AM at all. Not even once.
My body is now reading 10:00 PM as 9:00 PM - meaning it seemed totally practical to stay up for an entire hour past my own personal witching hour so I could watch Tabitha's Salon Takeover.
I have lost all concept of the magical DVR and watching important Salon Takeover information at a more reasonable hour.
At Noon I am sure that it is 1:00 - my time to eat lunch.
At 2:00 I realize that I forgot to eat my lunch.
I'm having some very strange dreams. Dreams about writing blog posts about odd subjects like song titles I made up about something I can't remember and dreams about raking the yard.
We have 3 lollypop trees - raking would be stupid - there are no leaves. Which is good, because I get home in the fucking dark.

Green Opinionating

2009-11-03T04:45:00.000-06:00

I've got a great new book that nobody can get out of my hands and I'm reviewing it over at Not So Humble Opinions today. If you are looking for a resource to help you make healthier, greener decisions this book is for you!

Shop Indie Bookstores

Faking It

2009-11-02T09:27:00.001-06:00

So, after all my bitchin about the lack of sun on Friday I now have to admit that I did not get to enjoy yesterdays sun at all. We were too busy. Kid activities, football, cooking, etc... etc... all conspired against my sitting peacefully in the sun (wrapped up in blankets because it isn't that warm outside in the sun).

Today's forecast is SUN! lots of SUN!

And - I am thinking that I may need to fake a debilitating injury that will require me to go home and recuperate for the day.
Do you think a paper cut would work? I could really play that up by applying lots of bandaids....

In Case Of Spooky Emergency

2009-10-31T02:32:00.000-05:00

I kinda like Halloween - oh the trick-or-treaters get on my nerves and I get cranky & riled up but I still like it. That's why I give broom riding lessons.....for a price

Your Witch Name is Agatha

Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and caldron bubble.

What's Your Witch Name?

Work is Hard. Time for Blogthings!

So - I've given away what I'll be dressing up as for Halloween - how about you???

You Should Be a Cat for Halloween

You are the reserved and introverted type. You enjoy keeping to yourself.

When you get dressed up for Halloween, you're often debating whether you want to even dress up at all. Sometimes your heart isn't really in it!

If you do dress up for Halloween, you are very chic, sleek, and stylish. You have a flair for fashion.

There's no way you would make a fool out of yourself or use a costume out of the box. You have too much pride for that!

What Halloween Costume Matches Your Personality?

Blogthings: Quizzes and Tests and Memes, Oh My!

A Foggy Day In London Town

2009-10-30T14:29:00.000-05:00

Several years ago I was privileged enough to be able to travel to Europe for 2 weeks; cramming as much as I reasonable could into the short time frame I toured France, England, Belgium, and the Netherlands. I am desperate to go back, although the economy, the activities of the children, and the care and keeping of a zoo are hindering that for now. Someday though.

When I was preparing for the trip I read many touristy type books that warned me to have a rain jacket and umbrella handy at all times in London; London is a rainy city and I should be prepared for it! So, I was.

The entire time I didn't see a single rain drop, not a bit of fog, and honestly I don't really remember any clouds. My pictures surely don't depict anything other than sun shine and heat. Oh yes, what the books touted heavily was the need to have warm clothes for the time of year I was traveling - I would need no short sleeves or even light fabric capri pants. (Project Runway be damned!)

LIARS!

It was Hot. Hades Hot. Hot like the inside of a volcano. Occasionally I am known for overreacting and possibly exaggerating. But, for a person who likes things on the warmish side and is often found wearing a hooded sweatshirt the shade in July because I get chilled - Europe left me with the impression that their weather people or at least the ones the tourist writers consulted really aren't any better than ours.

These past few weeks I have begun to wonder if it is possible that the Twin Cities (of Minnesota if you aren't from around theses parts) stole the weather that was assigned to London. I haven't gone so far as to see if London is getting the weather those travel books proclaim it has - but I can tell you that we have had an over abundance of rain, fog, clouds, cool fall temperatures and more rain.

It certainly hasn't helped with my mood either.

Maybe this is a good sign...maybe the sun is coming....

You Are a Rainbow

Breathtaking and rare

You are totally enchanting and intriguing

But you usually don't stick around long!

You are best known for: your beauty

Your dominant state: seducing

What Type of Weather Are You?

The First Rule of Blogthings Is: You Don't Talk About Blogthings

The People In My Head and on the tv

2009-10-29T07:49:00.003-05:00

Recently I have found myself getting rather caught up in several books. So caught up that I would rather find out what is going to happen to the people I'm reading about than the people in the television hanging out with Tim Gunn.

(I always assume that people know who Tim is and then when they don't I'm surprised, so if by chance you don't know who Tim is I linked to his Wikipedia)

Do you know about my project runway obsession? We could talk about the designers or Tim & Heidi here if I'm not the only addict - you let me know.

So some of these books I've been reading have grabbed me by the shirt and kept me enthralled - on the edge of my seat - wondering what is going to happen! OMG what will I do if Georgie & Bram can not get their shit together. I know that they aren't real just like I knew that J.R. Ewing wasn't really shot in the chest by a mysterious would be assassin; but it doesn't stop me. Just ask Mr. M. or the kids.

What I've found interesting about this is that as certain authors (and I'm not going to list them all because I think they would be essentially different for every person) have made their characters come alive, the ones of my own making are fighting to be heard and they're getting loud.

Yesterday's story was more than a joke and much more than a little fun - it was really an exercise. Whether it was a successful exercise remains to be seen because I didn't let any of my own characters out.

I've downloaded the freeware ywriter to my little netbook, I've figured out what should be my writing time, but I haven't officially thrown my hat in the ring for NaNoWriMo... not sure if a deadline is what I really need - I have a feeling the people in my head will tell their story in their own time.

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Project Runway Fix!

Now that there are only 6 designers left I've decided who I think should win and who I am fairly certain will win and the order in which the rest of the pack will be eliminated. The last 6 are:

Althea Harper
Carol Hannah Whitfield
Christopher Straub
Gordana Gehlhausen
Logan Neitzel
Irina Shabayeva

Whose your pretend money on?

I think tonight will spell the end for either Christoper or Logan - neither of them are talented enough to make it to Fashion Week and their performance has been in the gutter the last few weeks...It will take a miracle, a mental breakdown or sabotage on one of the more talented designers for Logan or Christopher to avoid the auf Wiedersehen.

Hey Batter Batter

2009-10-28T03:25:00.002-05:00

This post has nothing to do with baseball - although it does have something to do with swings... Mood Swings.

As I'm sure you've been able to conjure up around here (and heavens forbid on twitter) I may have some mood swing issues now and then. Over the years I have been accused of being overly emotional..... be it a result of my proclivity to cry during poignant greeting card (or coffee) commercials or to have a particularly fiery reaction to someone leaving too many shoes by the back door.

I'm a contrast; crying one moment losing my temper the next.

The family claims they never really know what to expect of me, are they going to get the happy, fun mommy or should they expect the you'd better be walking on egg shells and not break them or make a mess with them mommy.

Earlier this month we happened to spend a Sunday afternoon at an art fair and stumbled upon a woman selling all sorts of natural remedies for all sorts of things. Mr. M. thought the remedies for mood swings (which I would have to presumably use forever) were a little overpriced so he bought a cheap mood ring instead. He figured if they knew what mood I was in he & the kids could react and behave appropriately.

I'm really not terribly fond of the ring, it is a larger band than I would typically choose and it turns my skin green, but it does appear to be working and reading my moods like he hoped it would.

The ring turns green when I'm in a good mood and feeling happy.

It turns blue when I'm tired or lethargic.

When I'm in a bad mood the ring
leaves a Big Red Mark on his fucking forehead.

Maybe next time he won't be so cheap and will buy me a diamond.

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Thank you to Mr. M. who did not buy me a mood ring and rarely complains about my mood swings even though I have possibly once or twice given him plenty of ammunition to deserve a mood ring. He also deserves a lot of the credit for this wonderful story because he forwarded the original too me (in rougher form) and agreed to take the heat for the story I would weave.

Its on the Internet so it Must Be True!*

2009-10-27T08:19:00.001-05:00

Regarding yesterday's mention of people not knowing how to merge without trying to kill me (or navigate the entrance ramp) I found this Wiki (the teachers do love them some wiki's these days don't they!) which should clear up any issues with merging into traffic on the freeway.

How To Merge Onto the Highway Without Crashing or pissing CursingMama off
(I added that last bit myself)

Study it. Live it.
Maybe just stay out of my way :D

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*Recently I was sent an email I would classify as offensive, garbage, racist...just about every negative connotation I know would apply. I would like to classify the email as spam but if I do so it will mean I'm calling a relative a spammer. Today's title is dedicated to that relative, that believer that everything on the internet is true, except the things they think aren't.

Parallel Parking and Other Mysteries of the World

2009-10-26T11:10:00.001-05:00

I was shocked last night when I realized that it was nearly Monday. The time/space continuum on weekdays is vastly different on weekends; for instance today I was up at 6, out the door by 7 and in my office by 7:30 - I moved pretty quickly once ensconced at my desk and plowed through a stack of work that I had anticipated would take me most of the day. I was done by 10:30. Saturday I admit to sleeping in a lot, I was up at 9, made it down to the kitchen for coffee by 9:30 and sometime around 10:30 I realized that I should probably get started on the days tasks; it took me until nearly 11:30 to get up and do that.

What I did for those 2 hours at the kitchen counter I'm not sure but I do know that there were copious amounts of coffee involved.

Speaking of coffee I have decided that the coffee freely available in my office is awful. I used to like it, look forward to it even, but over the last several weeks I have noticed that it has a flavor I suspect is closely affiliated with something I would never knowingly put in my mouth. I've switched to tea.

I've also switched the header of this here blog for the weeks festivities if you are interested.

This mornings commute was briefly put on hold as police and several tow trucks removed 3 cars from my freeway entrance ramp. I mention this because I am frightened by the prospect of sharing the freeway with people who are not properly trained to drive on an entrance ramp without incident. From the looks of the damage (and my vast knowledge of accident reconstruction from years of tv cop shows) it appears as though the yield, merge, and red meter lights were completely ignored at fairly high rates of speed.

I am a proponent of entering the freeway at the speed of the moving traffic but I am also a proponent of stopping for red lights, yielding when instructed to, and merging/changing lanes without behaving like an asshole. I feel like these are the kinds of things that should be stressed in drivers training and tested before gaining the privilege to drive - and yet, in Minnesota, big points are given for parallel parking and 90 degree backing.

Personally I'd much rather share the road with someone who can safely get onto the freeway, navigate it without trouble, and exit safely than a person who is an excellent parker.