reason why not

Reason Why Not: Teamtoe(Flow) Tongue Twister Contest

2008-11-13T22:03:00.000-08:00

Here's is a contest for anyone ages 5-14.

You must explicitly follow these simple rules to qualify as a possible winner...although anyone that enters this contest is most likely not a winner at all.....the rules are as follows....

1)Find a friend...your mother or father are also acceptable, to film you.

2)Chug Life an O.E. 64 oz. or Steel Reserve 40 dogg.

3)Then as quickly as possible, recite this tongue twister 10 times fast....fastest recital wins!!!!

The tongue twister goes as follows....

Beastly Brownlee backside bigspins into baby back Boulder banks buying beer before burning big blunts of blueberry bomb bud before breakfast

4) The entirety of your entry must be submitted on a miniDV tape(Sony or Fuji only, please)...VX1000 preferred

5)Next, upload your video onto youtube using the tag Teamtoe Flow Tongue Twister Contest.

6)The winner will be chosen in the next five to six years or whenever D-Gnar's sore throat from blazing bammer goes away...or Twig gets dentures...whichever comes first?

The ultimate winner of this contest will receive Teamtoe Flow for one year and...

a limited edition Mike Rusczyk man-purse filled with the following.....

-3 pairs of TP's dirty socks

-a custom Travadaddy re-fry tote bag

-one new pair of red Theory trucks

-2 bags of "Grindin' Grape" ollie pop bubble gum

-a miniDV tape with 3 poached angles of Jim Greco's switch frontsideflip down Wilshire

-a pack of "rims"

-2 tail devils(one is for the nose)

-a set 0f 46mm Deca wheels.

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!

Notice of Non-Liability:

Please don't enter this contest...idiots. Underage alcohol consumption may lead to several debilitating health related problems such as future flowmanism and shit.

reason why not to be these niggas

2008-03-22T23:57:00.000-07:00

First off, I'm not talking about anyone seriously going for some shit and not getting it with this thing. I'm talking about Johnny Cupcake tossing some air biscuits over god knows what, only to constantly kick out and just get pissed at his board/and or shirt.

I was sitting at this HELLHOLE of a spot the other day, and this son of a bitch (good friend) was trying some nollie flying carcuss big spin heelflip over some retarded skater made bump over some pisshole. for houuuuuuurrrrrrrsssssssss. literally. hours. fucking. HOURS. it was one of those middle of nowhere concrete spots where i guess they had built a concrete ledge and a bump over the gap (COMPLETE SHIT). He said "lets just go check out this spot, its pretty sick. I don't think they'll be anybody there, maybe one or two people."

so we go to check it out and lo and behold, there is a god damn bbq going on. with the biggest marks of all time. And when i mean "biggest marks of all time" one of these kids told dave hoang that he was my cousin, when in actuality I rode on the same bus to school with him in 7th grade. wow. he told dave "oh you know boosh, yeah thats my cousin." JESUS. so hes there, a few other bro's, and 3 chicks. and not like, "want to hang out with me" chicks, like, bring them to the spot and have them check out you busting your phat kickflops and all that other shit that girls dont have any clue about.

I havnt said this, but you may have suspected, the sun is burning hotter than A Crew taking a piss. this guys trying his nollie buttspin (im sure it was fucking planned out) while me, nick and Monte sit and dont do shit for like 2 and a half hours. shit is ghetto as fuck around so you cant really explore unless having your stuff taking by some chicano looking for his next score sounds good to you.

but anyways, a couple hours later he finally lands his trick, and gets hit by a hot dog as he rolls away. i wonder who threw that? some disgruntled passenger in his car id assume.

but anyways, after that we went to some skatepark, had some fun, then went to leave. this is where the story got interesting. I called Shotgun, and when we got to the car nick sits in there anyways. We drive for about 15 feet and nick says "oh shit i gotta get something out of the trunk" talking about his cigarettes. and in this hooptie ass mobile you can only unlock the trunk with the key thats in the ignition.

so the dude turns off the car, gives nick the key and waits. nick comes back like 30 seconds later and says "oh shit.. you don't have a spare key do you? i locked the key in the trunk.. seriously... seriously dude... oh shit"

so we call a few people to try to have someone pick up the dudes spare car key, and after a while finally have someone going to get it.

after waiting for about 45 minutes, nicks like "oh shit" again. then after a short pause he says, "i have something to say, but i don't want to say it" and wouldn't you know it, that little shit had the key in his pocket the whole fucking time. while the cars sitting in the middle of the road with everyone just thinking "how could that idiot lock the key in the trunk". its in his pocket. which i think is worse than actually locking it in the trunk in the first place.

whatever.

puke,
boosh

Dick Farts

2008-02-21T19:52:00.000-08:00

Has anyone ever told you that you look like someone else? If so, maybe this story will be relatively relatable.

As some of you may already be aware, I frequent the Santa Rosa skatepark, and have for years, and years and years, and years. Anyway, the park has, over these years, become home to many a scumbag, juvenile delinquent, and all life-forms in between. For this reason many out-of-towners have been startled when they arrive at the park and find twelve year old kids puking up 40's of OE, middle-aged alcoholic/tweeker transients calling the paramedics cuz they think their liver is on the verge of erupting, thirty person juggalo versus gangster brawls, etc. So, if you can imagine, the new generation of kids that skate Rosa park are a bit more hardened/apathetic than the average suburbanite. Personally, I have seen a lot of crazy crazy shit going down skating out in the streets, but for one reason or another, lurkers in Rosa really seem to take the cake...and on a more frequent basis. They are truly not to be fucked with.

One particular midget, of about 14 years, taught me the hard way that if you are attempting to get your name out there, you might want to be nice to every kid that you come across, even if you are just fucking around(Flowman Tip #1).

It all started harmlessly when this kid, we'll call him Jacob, came up to me at the park and said, "Hey has anyone ever told you that you look like Ben Stiller?"

I replied, "Hell to the no, fool." Though I, unfortunately, had been told that before. Which is whatevs, cuz he's married to that hot-ass beezy from that throwback Nickelodeon show "Hey Dude". Anyway, I shrugged it off and kept skating, not really thinking anything of it. Well, to my surprise, when I checked my Myspace page later that night, I saw that Jacob had posted this as a comment on my profile

"U LOOK LIKE BEN STILLER."

Again, whatevs...not a big deal, I could really care less, even if I did look like him, which I don't.

As time went on, each time that I would see Jacob at the park the first thing that he would say to me was, "Ha ha, you look like Ben Stiller." Which, coming from a 14-year-old, is not that hurtful. He and his crew, about five to six midgets deep, skate the park almost everyday, and when I see them there, I make a conscious effort to heckle them, as this was the way that the older dudes at the park used to treat me when I was their age. It is, of course, all in good spirit, cuz I know that this sort of heckling definitely helped me to grow into the G that I be today. I am just trying to help groom these youngsters, ya know, show 'em wasshup.

Anyway, yesterday, my friend Nate was skating through the park and as he passed Jacob, he slowed up and squeezed out a puke-butt, oxygen molecule destroying fart right on his chest which, since he's about 14, is basically ass-level. This little fool was bummed. He was all, "Fuck you Nate I'll fart on your face!" Ouch, what a midget response to getting pooted on. I continued the teasing by mocking Jacob's voice and saying things like,

"I'll queef in your ear," and "Dude I'll shit on your nuts," or "I'm gonna pee in your butt." Obviously kidding, in the most mature manner that I knew how.

At this point Jacob was kinda laughing. So I asked him a simple question as he writhed in the stink offered upon him by Nasty Nate. "What do you think smells WORSE, a fart from a butt, or a fart from a dick?"

Jacob answered quickly, "A fart from a butt."

I broke into laughter, "Ha ha, you like the smell of dicks.....ha ha ha."

"Not ahh, fuck you, you like the smell of dick farts in your face," Jacob responded angrily. I laughed and the conversation ended soon thereafter with everyone involved not really thinking much of anything about what had just been said. Or, so I
thought....dun dun duh.

I continued to shred the park for another fifteen minutes and then bounced. Before leaving I said "later" to all the scumbags, and the midgets, Jacob included. At that point, Jacob was still in good spirits and seemingly unaffected by what had been said earlier, as he and his friends are always talking some crazy shit like rugrats seem to do these days.

Well, don't be fooled, and most definitely do not take these kids for granted....they are witty, scummy and knowledgeable when it comes to the use of today's technologies.

Late last night, as I sat on my computer checking e-mails and shit, I again logged onto Myspace. I noticed that I had some new comments, messages, friend requests, and things. Well, as I checked my new comments I found something very surprising. This kid searched the depths of the Toebock site archives and came up with this photo of me jokingly eating ice cream in Seattle...

Jacob then used paint (the midget's version of Photoshop) to create this masterpiece.

Although it is harmless, I wasn't that hyped and tried to delete the comment from my profile....it didn't work. I then noticed that he had posted the picture on he and his "friends" fake Myspace account and posted a bulletin with the subject, "HEY WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Please comment on my new pics.....Which appeared on all 22 of their friend's Bulletin Space's. I tried several times, but Myspace wouldn't allow me to delete this photo and just redirected me to a shop free at Macy's bullshit, Google error Not Found page.

There was no way I was just gonna let this end like that. I then, sent Jacob a message telling him that I reported the photo to the Myspace police as child porn, which I hadn't actually done. You see, Jacob is supposed to be moving with his family to New York next month. I told him that he isn't going to New York now, instead he's going to jail....

His reply, "my freind chris danny and efram are using that (page the photo was posted on) to talk shit to people and their hella gay but ya u like dick farts." He wasn't scared even slightly. Jacob then casually messaged me, "ay fuck u hahahahaha but that was hella funny do u think before i move wich is on the 5th of march u can get me some black and white leo romeros size 8 u know like a go away present."

What the Fuck?????

Shit, I guess he earned them....

The future of the United Scumbags of Santa Rosa (U.S.S.R.) sure looks bright.....or clouded and foamy.

-Kehoe

Trife of Ryan

2007-12-31T10:56:00.000-08:00

Here is an INTERVIEW someone sent me a link to this morning. It is nothing short of amazing...Listen to this fool as he explains whattup with his front feebs. Look out for the mirrored "switch" tre...

(video INTERVIEW)
Little known fact, Ryan Sheckler, "Got his sponsorship start when he frequently visited a neighborhood skate shop and asked to display some of his trophies"(www.teenidols4you.com). How embarrassing. Skate trophies are about as cool as kicking these things around.

(video)
Upon turning pro, Ryan, or perhaps his publicist, stated, "Haters come out of the woodwork! Haters spread hate about you, your family, and friends like mad. That is very new to me. I just can’t figure out why people hate on people they don’t know?"
Apparently, he hasn't seen himself on TV, but allow me to clarify something. Hate is not a bad thing. The world needs HATERS. Respect the hate. Someone has to pull you down from that cloud created by the sunshine that 13 year old girls blow up your ass all day. Otherwise, you could end up like other CHILD STARS. Besides, if you think about it, hate is probably half of the reason that you got cho name out dare in the first place. By the way, I fully recommend listening to the fan voice messages on Ryan Sheckler.com (on the homepage, bottom right).

(HATERS)
(CHILD STAR)

Along those lines lies the still unanswered question...if he can land a 360 flip lipslide down the gnarliest rail in front of thousands of screaming fans, why can't he find a chill girl? Maybe Shecks has been spending too much of his time on the circuit and making "CORE" video parts? (CORE)

Either way, whatevs...cheers and happy New Year's to one and all, and good luck to the Macaulay Culkin of skateboarding....Ryan Sheckler.
(Macully Culkin)

Team Toe's Comin UPP!!!

2007-08-09T18:12:00.000-07:00

Shit man, I know most of you have heard that the Team Van got sold, but what you didnt know is reason why A Crew got rid of it. It was because he was a little short for the NEW Industries Van, so ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the offical new ride of Tha Industries.

-Boosh

Reason why Team Toe ain't goin on another Texas Trip

2007-07-31T14:23:00.000-07:00

Just so you know, this is the reason why mothafuckas ain't going on a texas trip again. Unless its the "We Got Warrents" tour. Silas probably handled his though. Send it to eS. bastard. "walk it out" doesnt work to good when its talking about handling rape.
-Boosh

Beat by the ugly stick!

2007-05-19T09:17:00.000-07:00

Its been a while since a post so here goes some shit... I got beat by the ugly stick of life the other night, so heres the sequence of events. disclamer - i was beyond drunk when this happened, so your guess is as good as mine as to why
i would do this.

the night started out good, it was dudes birthday and dan rogers bachalor party, i ended up passing out on the couch only to have...

heath, bob and some of their friends come wake me up. so we woke up nick.
then it turned into....

hey bros shave my eyebrows that would be sick! which turned into...

"give me the larry david" which didnt really come out like the larry david, and more came out as the frankenstein. i guess after that i was thinking which way could i look more sketchy, and what else comes to mind besides blackeyes? one heath fist later it was....

nose sideways, life fully fucked. everyone was freaking out and decided the next decision was to be going to the......

hosspiiitallll which turned into me making an ass out of myself there, the people in the waiting room heard the people talking to the cops about me saying "hes a real piece of work, you've got your hands full..." and some other stuff. but i dont know, i go tomorrow to get the nose fully fixed... i guess to at the hospital nobody could figure out who i was because nobody knew my real name and i wasnt giving it up. they asked me for my social security and i gave them the "562 900..." and just gave the telephone number. but anyways, thats it, i quit drinking while i'm winning, i'm retired. I'll see you once i get back from my spiritual journey. -BOOSH

TOE to the BOCK like a futhamucka..

2007-03-23T09:09:00.000-07:00

What it be to my dudes Walkin' it Out. Go check out A Crew da Illa,
and some other slightly famous grown men, all up in the parking lot,
or looking for a Whole Foods, in the Texas state near you.
So....yeah,
Anyway...

March 23, 2007

TOEBOCK PRESS RELEASE: Toebock Industries Come Correct

Santa Rosa and shit. Spain and Spokane and shit...Northwest,
Southeast, The far far East, Denver to Jenner. Toebock is officially
GAME-TIGHT. Due to an overwhelmingly exponential increase in dudes
fanning out on the Toebock Industries, Floyd Gorgon, That One Dude,
and Another Fool, may be in talks about things and other stuff.
Everybody tryin' to get down and shit. Reportedly, Da Illa has not
released any official statement other than saying, "Fuck dude my phone
sucks."
In an earlier press conference held in Seattle, Washington, a man who
later threw himself down four flights of stairs posed the question,
"What do ya got against bowl skaters*?"
As for the influx of sponsor-me tapes received at Toebock
headquarters, which surprisingly included more than a dozen
heavy-hitting not to be named professionals and man-ams, Florg or
whoever said, "Everybody wanna be down with the Bock, period." Mr.
Gorgon then proceeded to remain Game-Tight.
More information will be released when it becomes available.
*Toebock Industries has nothing against "bowl skaters." Whatever that means.

(authors note: this are my drunken opinions, dont take it to the head, or the buttcheeks, i'm not trying to catch a random angry unit suckerpunch)

blank board debate!

2007-02-26T09:24:00.000-08:00

Off Top...Pronounced with an Umpty...So whatever and shit...call it
whatchu want... shouts out to A Crew da Illa. Here's my attempt at
writin' or somethin' mane....puttin this down for that Toebock shit,
son...I'm already drawing a blank and I haven't even written two whole
sentences. Fuck it...I guess that means that it's easy enough for me
to run my mouth without thinking, but when it comes to actually
putting thought into what I say, I suck...just ask my beezy. So, with
that said, here comes some bull ass shit.... I have recently been hearing a lot of chatter about some sort of blank
board debate. I don't know what there is to debate, but then again, I
haven't really read anything on the controversy.

Here is my uninformed opinion... Supposedly, companies have been linking low board sales to the
increase in blank and shop brand boards being sold. Shitty...I mean, I don't know what to say....sorry? Personally, I'm a broke ass shit-bag skate rat. I live with my mom. I skate everyday....whaa
whaa. Anyway, I ain't tryin' to spend $59.99 on the new
"Aging-Man-Am-Turned-Pro-One-Photo-a-Year-Milk-A-Paycheck-So-I-Can't-Even-Get-Flow"
graphic board once a week. I have been riding Mini-Logo's for
probably the past seven years. 8"x31.875" K-12..that's my shit.
What's wrong with that? Sure, maybe the wood isn't as good or
something...but how would I know? I spend my money on food, gas,
mini-DV tapes, strippers and other shit. The only time you see me
with a graphic board is after a homie kicks me down one...and then I
just trade that shit in for a Mini-Logo and some wheels. I'm trife,
but I don't think that I'm ruining skateboarding. Fuck it, if I did
skate graphic boards my shit would probably be so fuckin' bangin'
though....whatevs. Seriously though, what the fuck? Are companies
saying that if you can't afford Jordan's you shouldn't be out on the
court playing basketball? I hope not. All that I'm saying is that
you gotta do what you gotta do. I think that Terry Kennedy had a
board graphic that put it best, "Hustle or Die." If companies want to
survive these days maybe they nee to start being more creative or some
shit. Lower board prices might also be a good start, but whatchu
thank?

-Kehoe