Successful Parenting

Health Update

2009-11-22T21:31:00.000-05:00

Hi--I know it has been a little bit since I gave you an update so I will try to briefly tell you what is going on. As you know, I was diagnosed with a very rare type of cancer on August 28 of this year. This cancer, VIPoma, only strikes one in ten million people. The only chance for survival is if they can locate the tumor and remove it. If that is done successfully, I will still need to be tested every few months for the rest of my life to check and see if the tumor has come back (which it usually does). So far I have undergone every type of CT Scans, MRIs, Radiation Scans, Colonoscopy, and Endoscopy Outpatient surgeries in an effort for the doctors and surgeons to locate the exact location of the tumour. All tests confirm that the nodule they see in my stomach is a Neuroendocrine Tumour, however we do not know for sure yet if it is "The VIPoma Tumour". Now it is like a race against time for them to find where it is located. I had an Endocopy procedure performed this past Thursday at St. Joseph's Hospital in which they thought they may have found the tumour, however they were not able to remove it because it kept "rolling into the lining of my stomach". So, here we are. They would like for me to give the doctor who performed the surgery on Thursday one more shot at retrieving the tumour. If he is still unsuccessful, a Pancreatic Surgeon ( whom Keith and I are very familiar with by now) will have to perform a more extensive surgery which will include exploratory surgery and a long hospital stay. Things regarding this cancer moves rapidly because of the urgency to remove it. One day I am attending a soccer game with the kids and receive a phone call while on the field to report to one of my six physicians or to the hospital the next day or day after.

The next oupatient surgery is scheduled for the week after Thanksgiving and we are praying that the Surgeon is successful this time. If not, we will have no choice but to go to plan B. I am passed the "Why Me" phase and the bitterness and the guilt. I now realize that God has something big for me planned. I know this because He will never put more on you than you can bear. Myself, my husband, and my children are all covered under a good Christian church with an open and outstanding Leader and we are committed to give of ourselves to the church as much as we can. We also wanted our children to grow up in the church and have their own one on one relationship with the Lord. It seems that once I decided to join the church and become more active is when the pains associated with this disease started.

I will beat this Cancer. I have to. I have too many people praying for me and too much to live for. All of my children and my grandchild need me. My parents are terrified they may be losing me. Even my grandmother and extended family members call and talk to me a lot to express their concern and love for me. Being in this church has been a blessing to me and I actually wake up thankful that I am able to go to church that day and praise the Lord. I feel so at peace when I am there even through the pains which are unbearable at times. I will be a living testimony to all of those struggling through and living with Cancer. In fact, once I am better, I may start a support group for this particular cancer, VIPoma . I want to get the word out about the symptoms and signs of this disease because usually this disease is not caught until it has already spread and it is too late. Too date, I nor my doctors have been able to locate anybody who is still alive with this disease except me. Yes, I do believe I will have a story and testimony to tell !

My Four Year Old Attacked In Face By Dog

2009-11-22T16:55:00.000-05:00

Oh my God! When I arrived in the emergency in the room where my four year old son was being treated for a vicious dog attack. The dog had bitten my son in the face and it appeared the upper lip was loosely hanging on and there was blood everywhere? You could clearly see where the dog’s fangs had bitten my son down into my son’s face right up under the nose and through both lips. I was devastated.
It all started a few hours ago. I was having a procedure done at another hospital and my parents had agreed to pick up my son after school and take him to their home until my outpatient surgery was complete. When my parents arrived at their home, they took Keith down out of the Expedition and had instructed him to go into house while they proceeded to retrieve his two younger cousins out of the SUV. By the time my parents walked into the door (within a minute after pulling into the driveway), it was too late. Keith’s 18 year old sister was screaming that Keith was bleeding. My mom rushed over to him and told my father who had just walked in the door to turn around get back into the SUV because they needed to rush him to the hospital because he had been attacked by one of their dogs. On the rush to the hospital, my mom kept applying pressure to the wounds with a cold rag. Once at the hospital my mom called me on my cell phone. Not wanting to upset me because of a rare disease/cancer I was at the hospital for, she proceeded to tell me what happened and to hurry and get to the other hospital.

My four year old son required 14 stitches to his face. I believe I cried more than he did with each needle puncture to sew up the wound. The next day his face looked even worse. The swelling had set in and he did not look anything like the handsome young man of a day before. He looked so bad that his two sisters (eight year old and ten year old) could not bear to look at him. They cried and cried. He looked like he was in soooo much pain. The swelling started to go down by day 3, but we still had to try and keep the stitches clean. The stitches were removed by his pediatrician ten days after the attack. During this time we had numerous churches and people praying for him. Today if you were to look at him, you could not tell he was attacked. He still has scars but I am praying that they will completely go away. To be honest, I believe he is healing rather quicker than anybody ever expected. As for the dog, he was taken away by animal control, tested for rabies, and put to sleep at the request of my parents. They loved that dog and it hurt everyone to see him put down, but how can trust the animal after he has shown such aggression towards a child?

He's Going to Pre-K

2009-10-16T21:42:00.002-04:00

I finally found a preschool that I am comfortable with and my son is scheduled to start there on Monday. Please excuse me while I jump from joy!!! I love having him home with me, but we both need a break and he needs to be learning and praying and this school is a faith based school so they pray every morning and every afternoon. The classrooms are school...only ten kids per class..and it is clean and all of the staff, the directors and teacher are all intelligent and gracious. He will only be going for four hours a day, but that is good enough for now...You can learn a lot in four hours, plus he will be able to play with friends both inside and outside and work off some of his energy.

On the other hand of this,the four hours a day will give me the opportunity the keep the house clean without my four year old messing it right back up, I can go grocery shopping without having to put him in one of those dirty old car carts that all the kids love to ride in (and those carts are very hard to turn), etc. I am looking forward to Monday, I just hope my son is too. If we can get through it without kicking, screaming, begging, and saying, "I promise I'll be good...just to make me go to school." it will be awesome.

My Four Year Old

2009-10-04T22:07:00.001-04:00

My four year old is driving me crazy. No, really, really crazy. He can be the sweetest little boy at times, but most of the time he is an over active, overly imaginative, creative, jumping, kicking, whining, crying, whining, demanding, hungry mean machine. He does things just to see how far he can push my buttons and at first I just sit there and occasionally threaten him with a time out or a spanking or a timeout in his room alone…and for a minute he may get quiet until he realizes he would rather take his chances and just scream at the top of his lungs while looking at me. That is when I have to take action.
The fact that he is home with me during the day now instead of in pre-K makes things a little worse. He needs to be in a school environment at least for half a day learning and growing with kids his own age. The problem is I have not been able to find a free pre-k program in our neighborhood in which I can pick him up and pick his sisters up on time as they both get out of school at the same time. So, I would end up paying a late fee to one of the schools which I cannot afford. So I keep looking for a pre-k or church pre-k program to place him in. I am trying but you know for yourself that you can’t just put your child anyplace. You need to check and double check the place out to make sure that your child is in a good place.
Placing Keith Jr. someplace where he will be able to grow and where he will feel comfortable is going to be a challenge. He is a spoiled momma’s boy but once he gets used to a place he thrives but he problem is it usually takes him a while before he gets to the thriving point. I could put him where he was last year up until I lost my job but I cannot afford it. However, maybe I can call and see if he could come three days a week or ½ days and see if I can get a break on the tuition if I do. Another option is to place him in the preschool where he went to for summer camp. That is an option, but my favorite option would be to just place him with our church. He knows the teachers at the church and they know him. I would feel comfortable with him there and it would help thatI I would be volunteering at the church sometimes. Problem is, the daycare/prek program at the church has not started yet. Maybe I should just ask the Pastor what is needed to get it up and running. Maybe I can help make some calls or something. Yes, I think that is an option. I will call the pastor to see if I can do anything to help open te the prek doors soon, and I can check into the summercamp he went to to see if they would take him in as a pre-k person, I could offer my services to help….or I can just keep looking around in the neighborhood. OK…I think I know where to start. I will keep you updated as to the progress.

Time at Grandma's

2009-10-04T21:50:00.000-04:00

It is after one in the morning and I can't sleep. Insomnia has been a part of my life for almost a year now. The only thing that helps is the ocassional ambien. I have had this horrible headache across my forehead for three days now and nothing except pain medication eases some of the pain, but I do not like taking medicine so I mostly suffer through it. I have an appointment with the oncology surgeon on tuesday so we should have some more answers and a surgery date then. I am so weak all of the time now. I made hotdogs for the kids for dinner which they did not mind, but I feel a little guilty. I will really try to make that homemade spaghetti and meatballs with garlic toast for them tomorrow.

I visited with my parents today much to the delight of my little ones. They had been asking all week to go over there so I took them there with the intention of only staying about fifteen minutes, but it actually turned into almost three hours. It was a nice visit, spending time with Mom and Dad is always nice and I wish I could do it more often. The only problem is that my two year old niece bites my kids and my two year old nephew throws things at them. My mom watches them for my sisters so whenever I drop by with the kids after school they are there. The funny thing is, my kids still love to be around my niece and nephew. They talk about them all the time. I also watched my granddaughter for a few hours tonight so my son-in-law could take m daughter out to dinner for her birthday. She is getting so big and is forever cute. Happy Birthday Krystal.

Vipoma Diagnosis

2009-09-25T20:13:00.002-04:00

I am numb. I guess that is probably the best way to describe my feelings right now towards my recent medical diagnosis. After months of diarrhea, weakness, weight loss, back and stomach pain, etc. I have finally been given a definite diagnosis for what is wrong with me. I have been diagnosed as having Vipoma. Never heard of it? Join the many doctors and other medical professionals who have been in practice for decades who also have never heard of it. This disease is very rare and affects 1 in 10 million people. Yes, you heard right…one in ten million people. My Endocrinologist, who happens to be one of the top fifty in his field here has only encountered this a few times in his entire thirty plus years of practice. One of his nurses told me that she has been working in his office for nine years and that this is the very first time that office has encountered anyone with this disease. There is no mistake, they have run test after test after test and even repeated some of the tests just to be sure…it is definitely Vipoma.

From what I understand, this is a very rare cancer that usually originates in the pancreatic area. Chances of survival are greatly increased if they can find the tumors and remove them. The problem is, although they know for sure they are in my body, they do not know exactly where they are. Scat scans, radiation scanning, etc. have not been able to show where they are, but what it did show was another problem that I apparently have….Gallstones..one of which has calcified. I don’t really know what a calcified Gallstone is, but I do know that the doctors are wanting to remove those gallstones as well, but their priority right now is to find the Vipoma tumors and remove them. At this point I am told the next step is surgery, however the surgeons are in discussions as to how to proceed with that. Did I mention how rare this is? I am told to be patient and that they are aware of the urgency of the situation but that is very hard to do when I do not know what to expect next. Doing nothing is not an option as of course if you do not remove these tumors it is fatal. However, for what I have read, even if you do remove the tumors, there are no guarantees. I read somewhere that your chances are greatly improved if they can remove it, but that by the time symptoms present themselves it has normally already spread making your chances not so good. The survival rate for this does not seem to be really good, but I have a LOT of people praying for me so I am hopeful.

I just wish I could speak with someone who has this and is living with it. Someone who can tell me that there is a LOT of hope and that though most people do not make it, there are a LOT of people who do. But I cannot find anything like that out there on the internet, not in the forums, anywhere. So I wait, and pray, and enjoy as much time with my kids as possible. I am scared if you can’t tell by this posting…I am very scared. I have hid this diagnosis from my three youngest children (ages 4, 8, and 10) because I do not want to scare them. It just doesn’t seem fair to put something like this on them when they are working so hard in school. I don’t want them worried and I don’t want them to cry. If there is anybody out there who has this, or know of someone who has or had this, please let me know. I could really use to hear from someone out there who knows something about this. Thanks for listening.

My Tween wants a Cellphone

2009-09-14T14:56:00.002-04:00

I didn't have a cellphone until I was well into my twenties, had a job, and a couple of kids. However, times have changed and with the change has come the need for us to consider allowing our Ten year old to keep a cellphone in her purse for emergencies. Yes, I know that although "emergency" is the intended reason for the cellphone, she will probably use it to call her dad, her grandmother, etc. The good news about that is, there is a cellphone made especially for kids that you can program yourself to only be useable by the child during certain hours which means the phone will not be ringing during class time. Also, you can set a limit on how many minutes per month the child can use it, and get this....it comes with a GPS so, if heaven forbid you do not know where your child is, or cannot reach them, the GPS will allow you to find them....what parent can't use that? Another good part about these phones is that they are NOT toy phones, and are not cheapos..For example, the phone I just bought my daughter is pink, pretty, and a Sprint phone. The plan I purchased meets my budget and includes unlimited texting. Trust me, there are plans available for ANY budget. I prefer the piece of mind that allowing my daughter to carry a cellphone brings. Plus, when she is at a friend's house she texts me constantly so I know exactly what she is doing. :)

To find out more about these great cellphones for kids, visit the webpage below...

http://www.kajeet.com/antoinette

children with Autism

2009-09-12T22:30:00.002-04:00

I gave birth to six beautiful children and none of them had autism, however I always count my blessings because I know that odds are any one of my six children could have been born with autism. What is autism? I don't know very much about it but from what I hear it actually makes children who are exceptionally gifted and bright appear to be children with learning disabilities. This puzzles me because looking at these children they appear they same as any other, however the only difference I see is in regards to how they interact with others. What is being done to identify autistic children earlier on so that they can receive the proper care they need? What are some of the signs we should look for in autistic children...how can I be sure my child is not autistic? Is there a special program out there that will come into your home and test your child for autism? What happens if the tests prove that he is indeed autistic? What happens next.? As you can see, I have tons of questions. If anyone out there knows anything about autism and how to test your child for autism and how to get help if needed, please let me know. All comments welcome.

I Hate being Unemployed

2009-09-12T20:34:00.001-04:00

I have been unemployed now for five months, and I absolutely hate it. The hardest part is actually wanting to work but not being able to find a job. I came down off of my high horse several months ago and stopped expecting potential employers to pay me what I was making at my last job (which was $53K annually). I even took a notch lower and stopped asking what I felt I was even worth, yet to this day I still have had only one prospect and after two interviews I received no further phone calls. So, here I sit day after day after day applying for jobs and hopefully something will pan out soon. As I write this I feel both silly and calmer because at the start of this blog I was slightly enraged and depressed. I have two daughters in Girl Scouts and a son in Soccer and with school just started back a month ago, I am having to come up with $20 here and $30 there to pay for school activities and extracurricular activities. Before I would just write the checks and not even give it an after thought, but now that I am unemployed it is extremely difficult to come up with these funds. I try to hide the fact that I am struggling from my kids, so I borrow the money and pray that either a job comes through or I will be approved for unemployment so that things will get a little bit better. I know that there are worse off people out there in the world, but I never dreamed that I would be in this bad of a position…ever. It is very humbling.

On the flip side of this, I have made some changes that will benefit us even once I find a job such as shopping at thrift stores, using coupons, budgeting funds, cooking meals more at home, paying closer attention to nutrition, etc. Even after I find a job I know that I will continue these new habits just because they are good habits to have. No longer able to afford to order delivery pizza as much, my kids look forward to and even have a song they sing when they smell pizza cooking in the oven. (Tonight it is Digiorno's Pepperoni Pizza). Awwww….the pizza is almost done now and here comes my kids singing the song down the stairs…”Mommies, cooking pizza…Mommies cooking pizza….Mommies cooking pizza..” Hearing them so happy has already lifted my spirits and makes my problems seem minute…if even just for tonight.

H1N1 Decisions

2009-09-09T22:11:00.001-04:00

H1N1
I am at a loss as to how to combat this H1N1 Flu virus that is going around. I heard on the news last week that here in Georgia we have the highest number of reported cases right now. That terrifies me. What is worse is that school has barely been in a month and we already have a lot of schools with large numbers of confirmed cases of H1N1. Now, the schools and the school system are not even telling us anymore when there are new cases so now we are being kept in the dark. So how do you keep your child safe from the H1N1 ? All of the reports and news stories say that you need to have your children and yourself given the flu shot as soon as it is available, which is now. Additionally, you will need to have your children and yourself given the H1N1 flu shot as soon as it becomes available which looks to be mid October. For those of us who have never had a flu shot, that will mean two shots for the regular flu shot and two more shots for the H1N1. If you are counting along with me, that is four shots per person. It takes four nurses to hold my eight year old down to give her a shot so I am not looking forward to this. But my question is, do we know for sure that this will work? If we only received the regular flu shot and not the H1N1, will we be okay through this flu season?

The H1N1 flu vaccine is still being tested, so once it becomes available how do we know if it is truly work and if it will truly keep you from catching the flu. I am a good parent but do not want to subject my children to four sets of shots unnecessarily. I really wish a doctor, a pediatrician would stand up and give the pros and cons on both sides of the fence. I want to do what is best for my kids, but do not want to subject them to anything that is unnecessary. So for now we are washing and washing and washing our hands and carrying around antibacterial handwash with us but I fear that may not be enough. I would like to know what you guys think. Are you having your kids inoculated against the both the regular and the H1N1 flu or neither. Let me know your thoughts.

The First Day of School - Church Eases Fears

2009-08-10T21:20:00.002-04:00

Today was the first day of school in our town. Last night my daughters were both excited and apprehensive as they prepared for the next morning. I could hear them chatter excessively about what friends might be in their classrooms, what their teachers would be like, who would return and who wouldn't, the hard studying they would have to do now that summer break was over, etc. None of this excitement really surprised me and it made me smile hearing them because it brought back memories of when I was in school...way, way, way, long ago. What did surprise me, however, was the fact that underneath my bold exterior I was even more apprehensive than they were. In fact, I was a little bit scared of them going back to school.

Times have changed so much since I was in school and kids did not have nearly the troubles, worries, challenges, and problems that they face now. Bullies, violence, gangs, unscrupulous teachers, school shootings, etc...all of those things scare the devil out of me now. In church yesterday the pastor did something that put my mind to ease..they called all of the children going back to school up to the front of the church along with the parents and he prayed over us. How thoughtful! They also handed the children gift bags with a few school supplies and treats and each one of them were surprised with a popsicle on their way out of the church doors. All of these things may seem small, but wow did they ever make a difference!

Another One Bites the Dust

2009-03-27T18:04:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, after 15 years of extraordinary success at a major computer company I was laid off. The reason? They are outsourcing a LOT of jobs to Brazil and India. I am absolutely numb. With all of this going on and the state of the economy, how are we Americans supposed to survive? Now, here I am 41 years old and having to decide how to spend the rest of my life. I have a few ideas, I just didn't think I would have to worry about restarting my life at this point. I think it is absolutely awful what the big companies are doing and sending all of our jobs oversees is uncomprehensible. Well, that's my ranting for today. Like it or hate it, I think it stinks!

Writing On Walls

2008-06-21T20:16:00.002-04:00

Why do children like to write on walls? I have tons and tons of blank copy paper, tablets galore, coloring books, big easels, everything a person could dream of to draw on, yet my walls look like I live at Disney World. Most of the time, I am able to use a Magic Eraser to clean off the scribbling, however here lately it has become harder and harder to do so. At times, I have even seen the paint come off the wall from my scrubbing it. I threaten punishment, I try to hide all of the crayons, markers, and pencils, anything you can think of I have done it but to no avail.

On Super Nanny I saw an episode where she had the parents take big giant pieces of easel paper and tape them to the walls with the kids' names on them. The kids' were told that these were the only places in which they could write on the walls. On the show, it seemed to work. I'm curious, have any of you tried this? If so, did it actually work? Please let me know. If you have any other hints or tips on how to curtail this very ugly habit of my kids' please let me know that too. Thanks.

Spiderman Boxer Briefs - Successful Potty Training

2008-06-21T20:05:00.002-04:00

If you have been reading my blogs, you know that I have been trying to potty train my three year old for about a year now. Honestly though, I have not really been firm in exercising the necessity of him becoming fully potty trained until a few months ago. Now it comes to do or die time. Although he is physically and mentally ready to move to the next pre-k level, his teachers have informed me that unless he is fully potty trained before school starts back on August 11, he will NOT be moving up to the next grade with his classmates.

At first I was very upset over this, but what can a person do. I truly understand how they feel. He is a big boy, even taller than most in his classroom, and he should be totally potty trained by now. I try, I really do...but he does very well in school and does horribly at home. I don't understand this trend. I keep his big boy underwear on him at home after he gets home from school until he has an accident in them. Inevitably he always has an accident in them. I place him on the potty every 30 minutes, but for some reason he will have a boo boo accident not even 20 minutes later. Frustrated, that ends it for me in the toilet training department for that night. Between getting dinner ready, preparing the kids baths, tidying up the house, and catching up on work for the office, I simply can not keep stopping to clean up potty accidents. What to do?

The one thing I decided to try was to get him some new undies. I went to Big Lots and Lo and Behold I saw some Spiderman Boxer Briefs in his size. I grabbed a couple of boxes in took them home. When he saw them, he immediately took off his pull up and put on the boxer brief. That A Boy! To my amazement, he loves wearing those undies! Also, he does not want to get Spiderman wet or dirty, so he actually goes to the potty on his own (most of the time). We did have a minor set back a couple of days after this breakthrough because he got really sick. I tried to keep the undies on him, but the diarrhea just made it impossible. A few days later once he felt better, I started back with the Spidey Undies. It has been touch and go since then, but please keep your fingers crossed for us. If I can't get him trained within the next 30 days, he will be the oldest, smartest, and tallest pre-K little boy in his pre-k 2 classroom. (He is 3). Please let me know if you have any pointers.

Parents Taking Care of Parents

2008-06-21T19:39:00.002-04:00

My father has been in and out of the hospital since the last week of February. Of those four months, he has spent approximately 90 days in the hospital. And not the same hospital either. He has been a patient of four different hospitals. During this time, myself and my siblings have pitched in to help in his care. Frustrated with the level of care he was receiving from the many doctors who handled his case, we even contacted a well known physician who has experience working with patients suffereing from various ailments who were also well known. This type of specialized care is not covered fully by insurance, so the four of us chip in to pay the quarterly balance. This is all to ensure our dad receives the proper care he deserves. And you know what, now he does. It is sad to say that the new physician is finally on the right track to making my dad better because the new physician obviously is quite expensive. But I have heard it before, and in this case I see it first hand, you get what you pay for.

This blog was not supposed to be written about physicians, it was meant to speak about those of us who are now assisting in the care of the very people who used to wipe our noses and change our diapers...the people who gave us life, our parents. If someone had told me that I would be in this position in which my dad would be needing special care in which he is dependant upon us to take him wherever he needs to go...doctors appointments, grocery shopping (although he can't actually walk, he tells us what to get and we go get it), DMV, etc. I don't mind, I love my father and would do anything for him. I just never dreamed that at the age of 40 I would be helping take care of my 60 year old father...he , to me, is just too young for this to be happening.

There are a lot of days when I wish I could just put him in a bubble and place him on my mantle so I can protect him from anymore pain, suffering, or harm. I know that this is not possible, but again, I just wish I could do more. I wish the same thing for my children...to protect them from everything so that they will not feel any hurt feelings, suffering, or harm in any way. How ironic that I have now placed my parents in the same bubble as my children. For them all, I just wish I could shield them from all of the badness, sickness, and hatefulness that exists in this world.

That Awkward Age

2008-06-12T03:38:00.002-04:00

Until a few years ago, I had no idea that there was a label for the awkward pre-teen age group of 9 - 12 year olds. Now that I can put a name to the three or four years children experience before puberty, I can proudly say that I have successfully raised three daughters through the tween stage. Before you clap me on the back, also know that as the mother of six, I currently have another daughter just starting the tween years, and will have two more children starting that phase in a couple of years. What was I thinking?

The tween years begins at the age of nine. Children of this age start to develop into their own person with their own thoughts, their own ideas, their own opinions, and their own moral concepts. They still look to their parents for support and guidance, but they also start to feel that they are more knowledgeable than they are. Sassiness is a common trait shared by the majority of tweens. This is not always because they are deliberately trying to upset their elders, but sometimes it is because they are subconsciously testing boundaries. One word of advice here, nip it in the bud. Don’t laugh and think it is cute when your kid rebuttals your instructions for doing so is setting yourself up for a long, hard next three years. Be firm with your decisions and by all means, Mean What You Say. Now is not the time for bending, giving in, or feelings of nostalgia. Although they may appear otherwise, these young people are in desperate need of a good foundation and some tough love.

If you are like me, you will be amazed at how mature your daughter looks at this age. My nine year old has the grace of a swan, the intellect of a scholar, and the body of a 15 year old. I have just begun more in depth conversations regarding boys and some of the questions she asks are startling. I hide my surprise because I do not want her to ever feel like she cannot come and talk to me. This is the one area where being your child’s friend as well as their parent will gain your much more sleep at night and much less heartache. Be honest with them and always open your door and your heart to whatever they wish to discuss.

I hear many people speak on role models and the responsibility they have in setting a good example for our youth. While this is somewhat true, I do not believe that being considered a role model is an automatic privilege to entertainers. This is especially true when the entertainer does not want to be considered a role model. The best role model a tween can have is their own parents, family members, or persons the parents have placed in their lives. First and foremost, I am and always have been all of my daughter’s most prominent role model. I take pride in this fact and do not take the responsibility that goes along with this prestigious title lightly. I recognize that my every action and every spoken word is monitored closely and more than likely will be repeated sooner than later. For this reason, I keep my appearance up, always strive to do my best, exhibit kindness to others, and continuously try to improve upon my education and skillset. The tween years is most definitely NOT a time for a parent to have the attitude, “Do as I say, and not as I do”.

Handled correctly, both you and your 13 year old will survive the tween years with no scrapes, no bruises, and no jail time. Remember to keep an open mind, be patient, and to always have your door open to them and your relationship as the best mom or dad in the world will be sealed forever.

That Awkward Age

2008-06-12T03:38:00.001-04:00

Plastic Surgery Debate (My opinion)

2007-12-02T23:30:00.000-05:00

In the news recently, there has been much debate over the use of plastic surgery. This very popular means of transforming one’s body has been around for decades. As facelifts and breast implants increase in popularity, so does the news coverage of plastic surgery deaths. The most recent accidental death of rap superstar Kanye West’s mother is shedding even further light on this dangerous method of seeking perfection. Rumor mills contend that this was not her first time having plastic surgery, and that she was fully aware of the risks. Even more surprising is the fact that the surgeon who performed the fatal surgery on Mrs. West was endorsed on the Oprah Winfrey show. Most people would assume that because he appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show, there was no chance of anything going wrong. What most people do not realize is that having any type of plastic surgery is risky. The risks involved range from simple scarring that can eventually be corrected, to death. In spite of these risks, hundreds of people still go under the knife daily in an effort to become more beautiful. Vanity. We are all guilty of being vain in one way or the other. Each one of us has at least one thing about ourselves that we would have changed if we could. I, for example, would have a tummy tuck, liposuction, a breast lift, and a nose job…plus a little Botox if I could afford it. Despite the risks, the recent deaths, and despite what other people might say, I would absolutely have plastic surgery (in numerous places) if I had the money. Some may say this is the lazy way out or that people should just grow old gracefully. I agree with that statement, however I strongly feel that it is an individual choice and nobody’s business. If it makes a person feel better about themselves, gives them self-confidence, and helps them to achieve happiness, noone has the right to stand in judgment of them.

Shopping Mall Warning for Ladies

2007-11-28T15:27:00.000-05:00

There is a dangerous scam happening in the malls this Christmas season, and wanted all of you to be aware and careful....

The way the scam works is, a man slips into the women's rest-room and sneaks into a stall. He waits until there is only one woman in the rest-room in a neighboring stall. Th e criminal then stands on the toilet and points a hand gun into the next stall, demanding the woman's valuables. After getting her cash and jewelry, he deman ds tha t she remove all of her clothing and kick them out of the stall. The thief tosses the clothing into a shopping bag, hangs an out of order sign on the rest-room door, and slips back into the mall. The out of order sign ensures no one will soon come to the woman's rescue. It usually takes an hour or two for the woman to work up the nerve to leave the rest-room in the nude, giving the criminal ample time to make his get away. The woman is left naked and humiliated in a mall full of strangers. The best defense, says police, is to never go into a shopping mall rest-room alone, as only women who are by themselves are targeted. PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!! This has so far been a nearly perfect crime, as none of the perpetrators have been caught.

Don't let this happen to you.
please tell your friends.

Top Ten Biggest Parenting Mistakes

2007-11-01T22:39:00.000-04:00

Top 10 Biggest Parenting Mistakes

As the mom to three small children and three adult children, I think I pretty much have this topic covered. If there are any mistakes to be made with parenting children properly, I have probably made at least 95% of them. Not intentionally of course, but I would be lying if I said I never made the same mistake twice. Truth is, I have more than likely made the same mistakes or same type of mistakes at least three or more times…per child. By my calculations, that is at least 19,752 mistakes. Of course, there are some mistakes that I consider minor, and some mistakes I consider major—or as my six year old would say, “Gigantious”. But in my opinion, there are some of the biggest parenting mistakes I have made over the years:

1. When changing a baby boy’s diaper, never lay him on your bed unless you are ready to wash some sheets. I can’t tell you how many times I have made that mistake and spent hours laundering clothing and sheets.

2. Don’t allow children under 10 to have their own phone in their room unless you want the police at your do or every week…especially when you live right next door to the police station. One week the police were at my door literally every other day until finally they told me to get my kids to stop with the 911 calls or I would be fined. After that threat I unplugged the phone in my kid’s room and hid it.

3. Don’t allow your child who is allergic to peanut butter eat any cookies that you don’t bake yourself or are absolutely positive has no type of nuts in it. On our way home from a summer vacation, we stopped at a hotel to use the restrooms. The hotel had little, delicious looking cookies on a plate near the front desk. The hotel clerks invited my children to eat and take one cookie a piece with them. They told us that they were just oatmeal raisin cookies. We got about 30 miles down the highway when I looked at my six year old in the mirror. Her face was swollen with her eyes almost completely shut. Seconds after I noticed that, she began to throw up violently in the backseat. We pulled over to the next gas station and cleaned her and the car up. Upon looking at the half-eaten cookie in the seat, I realized that those delicious oatmeal raisin cookies also contained a secret ingredient nobody told us about…walnuts! I spent the next hour at a gas station cleaning out the backseat and trying to locate clean clothes in the suitcases.

4. Do not try to live your life through your child. There is nothing sadder than a mom trying to force her stage frightened daughter to perform a sing and dance routine for the Little Miss Pageant. There is nothing wrong with having your child try out a variety of different activities to see which one they are good at or gravitate towards, but that is not the same thing as forcing them to take ballet, play soccer, enter into beauty pageants, etc. just because you wish you could have when you were growing up.

5. Do not try to pick their friends for them. It is a law of nature that the minute you say you do not like this friend or that boy or that girl, they will become their best friend. I don’t know why, but the people we do NOT like seem to be a big green flag to them to Love them.
6. Do not compare your children…at least not in front of them. Nothing can damage a child’s self-esteem more than to hear you compare their brains, looks, sports abilities, etc. to their sibling. Each child is different. Each child is a separate individual with their own personality, their own dislikes and likes, and their own strengths and weaknesses. Help them to bring out their strengths instead of focusing on their weaknesses.

7. Your son or daughter is NOT your friend. They are not on your same level, so stop trying to be their friend. They don’t need another friend, they need a parent to guide them and help mold them. How can they take you seriously as their parent if you are crying on their shoulder and giving in to them all the time? Be a parent, not a friend.

8. Trust is one thing, stupidity is another. Why would you allow your 13 year old to spend the night with her best friend who also just happens to be the sister of this guy she has a major crush on. Use your head, what would you do if you were her and given that opportunity?

9. Stick to your guns. Do not make rules only to break them or allow them to be broken. Kids need boundaries. They need rules and structure. They are not going to follow your rules if you keep allowing them to wiggle their way out of the punishment. They are smarter than you think and they know a sap when they see one.

10. This is the biggest one----Have fun with your kids. Don’t take everything so seriously. Yes, you have to set rules, yes you have to be the bad guy sometimes, but that does not mean you can’t have fun with them. You need to find the right balance. They need to be able to open up to you and not be afraid. Insist they respect you, but make sure they are not afraid of you!

bizybee06

The High School Musical Phase

2007-10-28T03:35:00.000-04:00

My six and eight year olds are addicted High School Musical. Everytime it comes on television they are glued right there to watch it. They know every song by hard and can be seen on any given day practicing the dance moves from either the first or second movie. Don't get me wrong, I see nothing wrong with them watching High School Musical, I just don't understand why pre-teens and young girls in general go crazy over it. To me, and maybe because I am older and just don't understand kids today, but a great deal of it is boring and corny to me. No offense to the writers and stars of the show, it's making good money so carry on! I just don't understand the craze. On the other hand, I would much rather they be addicted to HSM than to some of these other programs on t.v.

That leads me to another subject, how much television is too much television for kids and do you carefully monitor what they watch? My kids are limited to no more than two hours of television during the week..no exceptions. When they are watching television, it is only the Disney channel or Nickoledeon. We started this practice a couple of years ago and actually still have the locks on all the other channels but find that we really don't need them anymore. They are perfectly content watching Disney and Nick. Under no circumstances are they allowed to watch videos...most are just too raunchy. Unfortunately for me, that means I can't watch them either...bummer!

I am going to be a Grandma!

2007-10-18T23:05:00.000-04:00

Yes, that's right, me! With a 2, 6, and 8 year old at home, I found out recently that my 22 year old daughter is pregnant and due in April. Now I must tell you that at first I was just numb. I did not know what to feel about this. You see, I still see her as that little tiny baby I brought home from the hospital 22 years ago. In my eyes she never grew up. What's worse is that she is 600 miles away, I can't even give her a hug right now and tell her how proud I am of her for the type of woman she has turned out to be. I want to tell her to keep her head up and always look forward, don't look back. But I don't want to tell her on the phone, I want to tell her in person...isn't that a little silly? Anyway, I am excited about the birth of my first grandchild. I know that I am going to spoil it rotten and have already asked her to let me keep it for a month or so...of course she said, "No". My last resort is to try and talk her and her husband into moving up here. So far, no go, but this future grandma isn't done yet!

Long Absence. I Love Being a Mom

2007-10-18T22:52:00.001-04:00

With school back in session and the many extracurricular activities my kids have been into, I apologize for not having the time to write sooner. But I'm sure most of you understand how it is, things can get really hectic really quick and everything you "planned" on doing just goes right out the window. As moms, we often put our needs and desires last to focus on our children and spouses first. I used to think that it was wrong to do that, that I should attempt to take at least an hour a day and just focus on me, nobody but me. That's what some of the top motivational gurus were saying.."Stop neglecting yourself. Take care of you. Put you first". Well, that just doesn't cut it for me. I put everybody else first (family I mean) and IF there is time at the end of my 18 hour day as mom, chauffeur, carpooler, wife, chef, housekeeper, etc..I try to catch at least 15 minutes of Nancy Grace. I love that show!

Before some of you start snickering and shaking your heads at me for putting everybody else first, let me explain why I do it. Very simply, I love being a mom. I really, truly, relish being a mom. I don't know if this is because I am a little more mature than probably the majority of you, I'm not ashamed to say, I am 40 years old with a 2 year old, 6 year old, and 8 year old, or if I have just come to the realization that this is the best possible job for someone as loving as me. Don't get me wrong, I ain't saying it is a bed of roses, there are times when I just want to go to my room and shut the whole world out, but there are absolutely more good moments than bad. I would not trade it for anything in the world. My goal is to be the best mom in the whole wide world! This includes sacraficing for my children. There is nothing I wouldn't do for them.

That said, I will try really hard to post more often here because I love blogging too. It is actually very calming and very therapeutic. Yes, I believe that is the one "something for me" other than reading the Bible, I will attempt to do every single day. :)

First Day of School Jitters

2007-09-05T01:11:00.000-04:00

Today was the first day of school here. Because we were redistricted a few months ago, this was my little girls' first day at their new school. I spent the entire summer worrying about how they were going to do, how were they going to make new friends, would the people at the new school like them, etc. As they walked down the halls to their new classes, my stomach curled up in knots. I felt like I was the new girl in school! Turns out I did all of this worrying for nothing! My girls LOVED their new school, their new teachers, the new cafeteria, and even the new playground! My eight year old even commented on how the playground was "like a jungle".

I don't know why so many of us worry about our kids and their first day of school. We work ourselves into a frenzy and grow a few more grey hairs thinking it will be hard on them when nothing could be further from the truth. If your kids are anything like mine they make friends very easily and they know NO strangers. They don't have the same "clique" and "status" hangups that some adults and teen agers have. For this I am sooooooo grateful. That type of worry will come soon enough for them (unfortunately). For now I am just counting my blessings that I was the only one with tears in their eyes today. :)

How was your children's first day of school?

Laughing Children

2007-07-22T15:03:00.001-04:00

There is nothing more precious to me than the sound of my children laughing together. Each time I hear it, it brings a wide smile to my lips. They truly enjoy playing with each other. The two girls (6 & 8) are finally at a point to where they don't need to depend on me or their father to keep them busy. It is very rare for me to hear my eight year old say, "I'm bored" anymore. She has her sister and her two year old little brother to occupy her time...but freely and at her own will.

I am not the kind of parent who forces their children to "not run in the house", or "stop playing in the tub"...I like to hear them have fun and as long as they are in no danger of hurting themselves or anyone else I let them carry on. I hope that one day when they are older they remember that and will think fondly of the mother who allowed them so much freedom.

Don't get me wrong, they fight and argue just like other children do...but they always make up on their own and they never stay mad for more than fifteen or twenty minutes with each other. Do they forget about what they were mad about or do they actually forgive the other person and shrug it off ? I'm not sure which...but I sure am glad they do. They don't hold grudges like grown ups do...and that is one thing that we can all take a lesson from them on.

Yes, I like to hear my children laughing, playing, and having a good time. These are the best years of their life and I want them to remember these years fondly.