Space Bastard!

Mystery Science Theater 3000 - DVD Covers Part 2

2008-01-26T10:10:00.000-08:00

Here's a few more of my MST3K DVD covers. Like I said last time, if anyone needs higher quality files to print from just leave a comment and I can upload the larger files.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 - DVD Covers by Phelpster

2008-01-16T19:19:00.000-08:00

Those of you who have visited either of my sites more than a couple of times have probably noticed that I'm a bit of a practicing graphic designer. I'm always jumping at the chance to make a DVD or CD cover if I can. I've never gone to school for it, or done any real professional work outside of a charity walk t-shirt I helped design, but I do enjoy designing things (despite how ridiculously frustrating it can be at times) and I'd like to eventually work in the designing field in some way or another. Anyway, there is a point in my mentioning that. As a big Mystery Science Theater fan I especially like to make DVD covers for the episodes that haven't been released on DVD yet. I've posted some of those covers with the episodes I've posted on The Morgue, but I've done a pretty good amount of covers that I haven't posted before, so I thought I would post some of the covers here for anyone who wants to check them out, or download them and print them out. These covers were done using the Rhino template, I've always thought they were pretty cool, and I like to have them all matching, it looks really cool having like 70 of these things lined up on your shelf.

There are already a few other sites dedicated exclusively to MST covers, like MST3K Covers but I've done covers for episodes not on that site, or some alternate covers of ones that are. I actually contacted that site about putting my covers up, but I don't think the guy is still updating so here will have to do. Here goes.

Here are three covers from season 1, all of them featuring the word Robot in the title. The Robot Vs. The Aztec Mummy, Robot Monster and Robot Holocaust. Click on the images to view the full size covers. These are lower quality than the actual covers. The high quality images are between 3-5 MB each, so I had to lower the quality to post them here. If anyone needs the higher quality covers just leave a comment and I'll upload them.

If you are searching for a particular cover let me know, I might've done it already, or be able to whip it up. In addition to the MST covers, I also make a lot of covers for old horror films as well (and whatever the hell you'd call Linnea Quigley's Horror Workout), so look for some of those later on.

Not for the squeamish...

2008-01-10T20:37:00.000-08:00

Another staple of the 1980's horror magazines was the Gruesome Mask advertisement. These were in every issue of Fangoria or Gorezone, and I hated them as a kid because I was never able to get one. My personal favorite mask from this particular ad would have to be Hack, the bald gentleman who for some reason has his own eyeball in his mouth. I also enjoy the $700 The Victim prop and his awesomely realistic Fu-Manchu.

Did anyone here ever own the Syngenor mask? I ask because I've never once seen an ad featuring the Syngenor mask where that particular mask wasn't sold out. Is it possible that the Syngenor mask was just a lie?

This next one is a bit cooler for me to see now as I actually have the fourth application to the right, Terminal Twist. There's a picture floating around here somewhere from when I wore it on Halloween to a restaurant I was working at back about 6 or 7 years ago; as part of a costume I called "Target Employee Involved in Terrible Home Improvement Accident". Pretty gross thing to wear while people are eating, I suppose, but I was pretty proud of my self-applied make-up job.

I think I might get a Ninja Star next year. I'll go as that kid who dies at the beginning of Revenge of the Ninja. You know who I'm talking about, "Death by Ninja Star" kid. Of course, nobody I know will know what the hell Revenge of the Ninja is so I'll just have to keep explaining it to everybody.

Oh, and shame on you first ad, you spelled squeamish wrong.

Screamin' T-Shirts Strike Back

2008-01-10T20:14:00.000-08:00

I'm back with another of those wonderfully dated "Puff" print t-shirt ads from an old Fangoria issue. I'm happy to see that this one is free of a picture of Anthony Timpone looking awkward and embarrassed while standing beneath a gigantic lopsided hat. Instead they just blew this poor bastard's head clean off. At least I think that's what they were going for. Looks more like they spilled some ink on there and just went with it to me. I actually thought it was a stain on my copy when I first saw it. It wasn't until I completed a thorough inspection of the "stain" that I came to the realization that it was part of the ad.

The Horror of Blaxploitation!

2008-01-05T22:00:00.000-08:00

Here's a look at some old posters from the Horror sub-subgenre of the Blaxploitation subgenre. Starting with perhaps the high point of Horrific Blaxploitation, Blacula and it's sequel Scream Blacula Scream.

"Blacula is the most horrifying film of the decade" - Count Dracula Society. Is that an actual thing, the Count Dracula Society? If so, I think I want in. Looking it up, I'm only finding the Transylvanian Society of Dracula, could be the same thing. Did they undergo new management in the 35 years since Blacula came out?

Continuing on with what I believe to be the only zomblaxploitation movie out there, Sugar Hill (Not to be confused with the Wesley Snipes movie, or the "gang" of the same name). I'm certainly no expert though, so I could be mistaken.

And finishing up with one of the worst, Blackenstein. I gotta say, Blackenstein is kind of a babe. Oh, no, I don't think that's Blackenstein, just some woman. She's so frightened her shirt just popped open, apparently. I hate when that happens. I do love the little rating thing at the bottom though, Blackenstein has been rated PG (Positively Gorific).

Posters of 2007

2008-01-01T19:58:00.001-08:00

Happy 2008! I hope everyone had a good new year celebration filled with shenanigans and goings-on. I'm going to be putting up some "Favorites of 2007" type list over on The Morgue in the next day or two, so I thought I should do the same here. Below you will find some of my favorite movie posters of the last 12 months. Keep in mind, this is just for the posters, a few of these movies I haven't even had a chance to see yet, I'm just basing these choices on a "Hey, that looks cool!" type basis. Some of them, like The Strangers, haven't officially been released yet, but they were too cool not to put up here.

It looks like Guillermo is turning into the Mexican Quentin Tarantino, having his name slapped above the title, followed by "Presents". It confuses less knowledgeable moviegoers. I worked at a video store when Hero came out, you wouldn't believe how many people I overheard talking about Quentin's new movie Hero.

I swear I didn't pick this one just for the naked-tivity.

I don't think Fido ended up being nearly as clever as the people making it thought it was (I liked it, it just should've been better in my opinion) but I love this poster design.

This is an international poster from Jamie Blanks Storm Warning. It's hard to believe that it's been 6 years since Blanks directed the much maligned (but not all that terrible) Valentine.

You can't go wrong with a sinister looking Ronnie holding an axe. I do wonder if they realized that it's spelled Freddy with a "y" and not Freddie with an "ie". Seemed like 2 seconds of research could've helped them in the long run there.

I don't know why, but I really like this one. Also having an electrical outlet as an "M" is clever, but also so simple that I'm kicking myself for not thinking of it.

So there you have it, some of my favorite posters of the last 12 months. Leave a comment if you disagree with any of these choices, or would like to tell Space Bastard some of your personal choices. Note: I've left any Grindhouse posters off of this post because I'm going to be putting some of them up in a separate post later on.

Our T-Shirts Are A Scream!

2007-12-29T22:10:00.000-08:00

I've got a decent amount of older Fangoria issues, and this little ad here always seems to show up.

I've seen this in probably a dozen issues and it still cracks me up to this day. It's bad enough that he's got the shirt tucked, but can someone explain the hat to me? How ugly was the top part of this guy's head that they thought that hat looked better? What's even worse is that there appears to be a shadow behind the hat, but not behind the guy, so it looks like the hat is way too big and lop-sided. Either that or they just painted it on there afterwards.

And now, a dramatization of the discussion about the hat by the Screamin' T-Shirts photographer and his assistant.

First Screamin' T-Shirts Guy: You know what this model needs? A hat.
Second Screamin' T-Shirst Guy: What, you mean like maybe a cool Fangoria baseball cap that we can also try and sell in the ad?
First Screamin' T-Shirts Guy: Fuck that, bring me a fedora!

Note: I'm not sure that's even a fedora, I'm not very well versed in hat identification.

Television Bank - Only $1.98!

2007-12-29T21:46:00.000-08:00

I'm not even quite certain what this thing is, some sort of glorified television-like View-Master bank? According to the ad you can use this thing to extort money from friends, family and chance visitors (Mormons?) by amazing them with its "miraculous" battery powered glow.

I'm still stuck on the part that says "costliest", I know that's an actual word, but it's gotta be the most misspelled looking word I've ever seen. Because of this ad I will now start referring to action films as "Zowies", I suggest you all do the same.

Be The First Kid on Your Block with the New Hitler Stamp!

2007-12-29T20:59:00.000-08:00

Here's a bit of an odd ad I came across. 235 stamps for free (but actually $1) sure seems like a good deal to me. You get the United Nations, hey, they're good. Madagascar, sure why not. And who doesn't like Djibouti? And directly next (well next to and up) to Djibouti? The Hitler, looking ominously off slightly to the right. It's getting harder to find all the time apparently. It's a shame Nanoo here didn't decide to follow through and get their free stamps, it is the most fascinating of all hobbies, after all. Probably why they're going "like hotcakes".

The Bloodening

2007-12-27T22:28:00.000-08:00

Here's a quadruple feature of blood-soaked madness, or something. Actually, I guess it's a quintuple feature really, if you count Vampire People on the Brain of Blood poster.

Blood Bath (1966) - Directed by Jack Hill

Brain of Blood (1972) - Directed by Al Adamson

Blood Lust/Blood Mania Double Feature (1970)

Gamera is the friend of all children!

2007-12-26T17:41:00.000-08:00

Here are some fantastic Gamera posters. I always get a kick out of these, even though it's always the same basic design with these Kaiju posters. Giant monsters attempting to kill one another (or a train), destroyed city in the background (usually in flames), screaming Japanese people running for their lives and/or looking shocked and amazed at the bottom of the poster. I've love to get my hands on a couple of these, you know if I had money to throw around.

Daikaijû Gamera (The Giant Monster Gamera 1965)

Gamera tai daiakuju Giron (Gamera vs. Guiron 1969)

Gamera tai Daimaju Jaiga (Gamera vs. Jiger 1970)

With Japanese Buddy Holly!

Gamera tai Shinkai kaijû Jigura (Gamera vs. the Deep Sea Monster Zigra 1971)

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out

2007-12-25T21:19:00.000-08:00

Well, Christmas officially ended roughly 24 minutes ago. Pretty much a regular day for me really, only it ended up being a day which consisted of me watching a good 5 hours worth of A Christmas Story during TBS' 24-Hour single movie marathon. At one point during this marathon I was looking at some old comics and was amazed by the amount of BB/pellet gun advertisements. While not as common as the Charles Atlas "Hey Skinny"s (and what could be?) they did appear pretty frequently. So inspired by Ralphie's desperate attempts to get his hands on a Red Ryder 200-shot Carbine Action Range Model BB Gun, here's a look at some classic BB/Pellet gun marketing.

I love the expression of the kid on the ground in this last one. He's just got the creepiest look on his face. This child, with this blank, pale, emotionless face and, the blackest eyes... well you get where I'm going with this. Yikes.

Become An Astonishing He-Man - Part One

2007-12-24T17:27:00.001-08:00

For my first post here I thought I'd go with a few classic scrawny nerd turned giant meathead ads. You literally can't pick up a comic from the 50's or 60's without finding one of these Charles Atlas (or Charles Atlas-esque guy) muscle building ads. I've noticed that most of these ads use the phrase "He-Man" a lot. Not sure what that's about, but it's a little weird.

Everlasting Strength and Health must be one hell of a book. Seeing how the people in the before and after pictures are all wearing the same clothes it seems to suggest that massive bulking up is achievable in the span of a single afternoon. At least he doesn't look like a sickly Don Knotts anymore.

"WITH ONE hand I can now lift overhead a boy weighing 145 pounds." Is that really a very useful skill? Boy lifting? I can't imagine a time another human being would need to be lifted over your head. Also, is it just me or is this ad kind of a dick? Calling people "skinny wrecks" while George F. Jowett gives us the international "jerkoff" hand gesture.

And we end with an example of some early Photoshop airbrushing type work (known as Photoshoppe back then). They just slapped this kids head and questionably long neck on some big shiny, oddly proportioned body builder's body. At least the top half of the body, the legs and buldgeless crotch actually look rather feminine.

Well, that's it for now. It all seems a bit homoerotic doesn't it? Just remember, if you're huge and able to kick the ass of other huge men, women will have sex with you.

Welcome to Space Bastard!

2007-12-24T14:50:00.000-08:00

Phelpster here, proprietor of the critically acclaimed* Manchester Morgue. As a big fan of hilarious old ads from decades past and an even bigger fan of horror and science fiction movie posters (also from decades past), I've accumulated quite a bit of ads and posters in digitally scanned form. So I started this new site to showcase some of these ads and movie posters (with optional commentary) for people out there who share my fascination with them.

The site was originally called Midget Encyclopedia, which came from a stamp collecting ad I found in an old EC comic. A mini-encyclopedia to hold the 325 stamps this particular company was offering for just 25 Cents. I found it to have a very "blog name" sound to it, so I used it. But then I figured it might offend someone somewhere so I changed it to Space Bastard! which is of course a Back to the Future reference, if you didn't know.

*I have no proof to back up this claim.