My Asinine Thoughts

Paper-Thin Heart

2009-11-05T20:25:00.000-08:00

Beautiful voice, beautiful song.

Mother, can you hold me together
It's so dark and I'm losing my way
I took all of these detours to find love
But when I did, it just faded away

Now what do I do
With the sweet love of mine
Do I give it away and
Hope someday I'll find
Someone half as awake
As the moon and the stars
Mother, teach me to love
With a paper-thin heart

Mother, your words are so healing
You speak of love and of light and of peace
But I've made it my course to avoid you
Just to hide from these feelings of grief

Now what do I do
With the sweet love of mine
Do I give it away and
Hope someday I'll find
Someone half as awake
As the moon and the stars
Mother, teach me to love
With a paper-thin heart

Now what do I do
With the sweet love of mine
Do I give it away and
Hope someday I'll find
Someone half as awake
As the moon and the stars
Mother, teach me to love
With a paper-thin heart

Mother, I know you are with me
You were there when I took my first breath
I can't stop looking back for the answers
I just keep coming up with regret
There are some things I just can't forget

Happy Halloween!

2009-10-31T20:39:00.000-07:00

There's someone strange... in the neighborhood.

Bye Bye October! It's been fun.

2009-10-26T00:37:00.000-07:00

I can't believe October is almost over. This month totally whooshed by me - and that's good because I can't wait for Christmas to come and bring me lots of good cheer. I have been pretty cheerful lately and part of it is due to my realization that to be happy, one must work on it and not just wait for something good to happen or hope for luck. You'd think this is common knowledge but knowing something and actually doing it... so not easy. So I've been busying myself these past few months with positive thoughts and good vibes as well as working on my relationships with the people around me.

I've also been giving serious thought to my sedentary lifestyle and I will probably enroll in a gym near school that has indoor wall climbing and yoga. Two activities that I'm interested in the most. Ever since I started driving to and from school, I've been walking less and I don't like that. I'm pretty active at work but it's not enough. I want to be fit! I want to be a size 2!

This coming week should be fun and hard. Tomorrow is my mid-quarter evaluation for practicum and I'm really nervous. This practicum thing is a big deal and I'm on my second and last one. I will meet with my contact teacher (who I work with in the classroom) and my practicum teacher and they will tell me how I have been doing so far in terms of my interactions with the children and the staff and the activities I've done in class - scary! To add to that, I have several papers to submit which I haven't worked on yet and will probably do at the last minute like I always do.

But the fun part will come near the end of the week, I will watch a back-to-back showing of Toy Story 1 and 2 in 3D and Astroboy! Yipee! Plus it's Halloween this weekend - I don't know where I'll be on Friday or Saturday night but I'm hoping I will get to do something FUN with my friends. Another week, another month.

Driving to Reno

2009-10-23T12:01:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving for Reno in about an hour to visit my family. My mom is leaving for the Philippines (for good) next week so my sister and I want to see her before she goes. Atsi and I won't be able to go back to the Philippines for a while so we really have to go and say goodbye. I love seeing my family but I'm just not crazy about driving Bruce up the mountain. Sigh, I hope the drive will be smooth all the way. I actually enjoy driving here in the US. It's not stressful like in Manila where you have to watch out for so many things on the road. Here, I drive on the freeway or on a regular street and I'd check out without even realizing it. A friend of mine told me that when she drives, she sometimes doesn't even realize what she's doing until she arrives at her destination. I like being on auto pilot sometimes, and when you're driving - it's fun to let your mind wander and take you to places you never thought you'd go.

Don't It Feel Good?

2009-10-10T11:41:00.000-07:00

I haven't been to the mall in ages. I miss the mall.
I haven't been spending a lot of time with my girl friends since school started. I miss my friends.
I haven't been out on weekends much. I like staying home but I'm missing out on a lot of things and places I could explore.

There's no stopping me from going out, especially now that I have a car, but I've been noticing lately that I'm spending too much of my free time in my head. I read somewhere that a shrimp's heart is in its head, I think mine is too that's why my brain feels awfully crowded and busy these days. I just can't seem to separate the two although I've promised myself to do things differently this time around. Easier said than done because boy, old habits die hard.

Sigh, I'm feeling the blues this wonderful Saturday afternoon - what's up with that? Life is good and I'm such an idiot! I think I'm going to take Bruce for a drive later while listening to some new songs from Glee. I need me some walking on sunshine and maybe a slice of cake from Red Ribbon.

Birthday Plans 2009

2009-10-04T10:10:00.000-07:00

I almost always get sad when my birthday is coming up but after I hit 30, I figured I should be grateful for each year that God has blessed me with. I had a pretty good birthday celebration with my family last year, and this year, I'm hoping it would be even better. One day is not enough to celebrate my birthday, I'm considering the 16th and the 17th as part of my birthday, too! So it's going to be a (hopefully) super fun birthday weekend for me starting with my Snow Patrol concert on the 16th with Becky. I have an extra ticket for the concert because someone who was supposed to go with us couldn't anymore and I'm not sure who to ask to take his place. I have more friends now than I did last year but a lot of them are not into music or concerts. This wouldn't be a problem if I was in the Philippines or Taiwan where my musically-inclined friends are only a phone call away. It just seems wrong to me that I can't even think of anyone else here that I could invite to watch such an amazing band!

My friends and I spent hours and hours last Friday talking about what to do on the 17th and 18th. Some of our ideas were going to the spa and playing mini golf, going to San Francisco for the Hornblower cruise, visiting Disneyland, gambling in Las Vegas, staying overnight at my friend's place in Santa Barbara, dressing up real nice and have dinner somewhere or going to Santa Cruz. In the end, we kind of settled on Santa Cruz since the other places were too far and I really wanted to go to the beach. I don't want to swim and it will probably be cold already in a couple of weeks but I just want to spend a few relaxing hours near the ocean. Then yesterday, atsi asked me what I wanted to do on my birthday and I want to spend it like I would back home. Go to a Filipino restaurant and eat my favorite Filipino dishes and buy cake from Goldilocks :)

I can't wait!!!

Fall 2009

2009-09-28T23:34:00.000-07:00

Summer is over. I never got the chance to just chill and do nothing because of summer school and work and visiting the east coast. I should be grateful though that I did well in my practicum, that I had work the whole summer and that I got the chance to go to DC and New York with my family... but man, I just need some down time. But there's no hope for that since school started immediately after I came back from New York and life has been crazy busy ever since. With all the budget cuts that is happening right now, school and work have changed a lot from last year. There are a lot less classes being offered right now and work hours have been slashed 50%. It's only due to the kindness of the people I work for that I still get to work full hours, but instead of working in just one classroom, I've been running around the whole center doing all kinds of things. I'm not complaining though, I'm just grateful I have work with the US economy the way it is!

School work is also going to be a little heavy this quarter because I'm taking my second practicum, and this time it's going to be even tougher. I'm just thinking about all the good things happening in the next few weeks or months that I'm looking forward to such as my birthday weekend, then the weekend in Reno after that where I would get to see my nephew, my mom, my brother and my sister-in-law. Mom's leaving for the Philippines on the 27th and she's probably not gonna be back here for a good long while, but at least she will be with popsy, ditsi and syoti back home. Then in November I'm meeting up with old friends in LA, a 3-day weekend I don't know where to spend yet - either spend it at home or maybe go to Santa Barabara or Cayucos, Thanksgiving - food + good sales! And then it will be December, Christmas and winter break! This is my 3rd Christmas in the US and I really really want to snowboard or ski. I hope I hope I hope!

Of Friends and Blessings

2009-08-03T01:16:00.000-07:00

I'm not the friendliest person you're ever going to meet but I'm not so bad when it comes to making friends. I'm usually the one who initiates and if I think the friendship has potential, I exert quite a bit of effort. On the flip side, if I meet someone I dislike right away that's pretty much it. I wouldn't even bother pretending I care. You know how you get a gut feeling for something even if you have no proof? That's me with making friends... and just about everything else to be perfectly honest.

The thing with moving to a new country is, everything is a mass of confusion at first. You're busy trying to get the rhythm of the new place and its people, and while adjusting to new surroundings can be tough, making friends is a hell of a whole lot tougher. I don't leave plenty of friends in my wake whenever I move, but I do leave a handful of some pretty good ones who I consider to be keepers. I'm just grateful for the technology we have today because I can at least stay in touch with most of them even if we're thousands of miles apart.

In a couple of weeks, I'll be celebrating my first year here in the US. While there are worse places to be stuck in, this country can sometimes breed indifference and loneliness. That's why I'm happy and quite surprised that I've been fortunate enough to meet people in school and at work who have been so kind and so thoughtful. I often moan about my sad lot in life but I'm fully aware of the blessings God has given me (most of the time).

My 1st Pork of July

2009-07-04T12:16:00.000-07:00

I'm spending my first 4th of July here at home, without even a watusi I could use outside to celebrate. I don't mind though since I've been looking forward to this 3-day weekend for weeks. Atsi and Jamie are going to a party later and won't be home until late. I passed on the party because I wasn't in a socializing mood - it throws me off a bit when I'm surrounded by people I don't know very well. At least I will be spending a quiet day at home which I don't get to do as much these days. The people I live with call my room my "cave" and it is my cave where I could just retreat and spend some quality quiet time. Atsi, Jamie and I are alike in the sense that we all retreat to our little corners at home. Space and privacy are so important that I have been feeling a lot more at home here in this country since we moved to our new place.

After I finish doing my household chores and writing two major papers due next week, I think I'm just going to grab a bottle of diet coke, open a bag of chips and park myself on the couch. It's going to be a good day ;)

Happy 4th of July folks!

Summer Quarter 2009

2009-07-03T22:17:00.000-07:00

Summer school started last Monday, immediately after spring quarter ended so I haven't really had a break from school work since September last year. But it was a choice I made so I can't complain. I planned on taking my practicum and an English writing class this summer totalling 10 units for 6 weeks (typical load for a regular 12-week quarter is 12 units). I knew that I would probably not be sleeping much because I still have work everyday on top of everything else but I figured it would be better if I just maximize my time.

After some confusion of whether I could do my practicum this summer or not, everything was finally resolved last Thursday and I decided to drop my English writing class - it's just not worth all the stress. I'm glad I got the last spot for practicum and I want to have enough time to do all the work I need to do for that class. My schedule is kind of crazy though with practicum starting at 8:20am everyday and ending at 1:20pm, then my work starting at 1:30pm and ending at 5:30pm. I only have 10 minutes to go to the loo and recharge. But it's only 5 more weeks. I think I'll survive.

Being out of it and the FB Insanity

2009-07-02T01:42:00.000-07:00

I'm totally burned out from school work and by dealing with my current situation that I feel like I've been sleepwalking for months. I haven't read a single new book, listened to a new artist/album, watched TV shows I like or blogged with regularity. I badly need this summer to just recharge and re-asses everything and I'm hoping things will go back to normal soon, whatever normal was before.

I have been spending copious amounts of time on Facebook and while it's nice reconnecting with old friends, I seem to find it impossible to do it in moderation. It's gotten to the point where I feel so embarrassed by my total lack of restraint that I'm compelled to find another outlet for expressing myself online. And then I thought... hello! That's what blogging is for! I realized I haven't really written anything in a while - which is too bad since I've always found it therapeutic to just write down my thoughts and send it out into the void. So that's what I'm doing now, my own version of therapy. Retail therapy is well and good but writing is cheaper and does not require me to get all dressed up.

Back to Blogger

2009-06-27T21:06:00.001-07:00

It's cheaper because it's free!

2009-05-24T20:22:00.000-07:00

We were evaluating children's books in class last week and this book was included in the batch of books on our table. I skipped it because I already read it years ago and I wanted to spend more time reading unfamiliar books. But while I was in the bookstore the other day, I gravitated towards the children section and homed in on this book. I read it, sat down and read it again. I thought it was wonderful when I read it the first time around but this time, it resonated with me more. I'm glad I got the chance to read it again, especially this week when I was feeling more distressed than ever about certain things. I'm slowly building a list of children's books that my teachers have recommended or I've discovered on my own and this book is a definite must-have. It's not even necessarily a book for children because it can be enjoyed by adults as well - maybe even more so! Anyway, I just wanted to share this with those who haven't heard about it yet - or heaven forbid, Dr. Seuss.

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
You’ll look up and down streets. Look ‘em over with care.
About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you’re too smart to go down any not-so-good street.
And you may not find any
you’ll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you’ll head straight out of town.
It’s opener there
in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen,
don’t worry. Don’t stew.
Just go right along.
You’ll start happening too.
OH!
THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!
You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.
You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed.
You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you’ll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don’t
Because, sometimes, you won’t.
I’m sorry to say so
but, sadly, it’s true
and hang-ups
can happen to you.
You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You’ll be left in a Lurch.
You’ll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you’ll be in a Slump.
And when you’re in a Slump,
you’re not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And IF you go in, should you turn left or right…
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused
that you’ll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…
…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.
NO!
That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You’ll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.
With banner flip-flapping,
once more you’ll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!
Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don’t.
Because, sometimes, they won’t.
I’m afraid that some times
you’ll play lonely games too.
Games you can’t win
’cause you’ll play against you.
All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you’ll be quite a lot.
And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance
you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.
But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.
On and on you will hike
and I know you’ll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.
You’ll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life’s
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)
KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!
So…
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea,
you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!

More Concerts!

2009-05-07T18:29:00.000-07:00

I know I should be in tipid mode because I’m going to be matriculating for a while, but there are just some things one cannot pass up tulad ni… Sheryl Crow! Yay!

I am such a HUGE fan of Sheryl Crow, HUGE!

I’ve been avoiding reading the emails I get from livenation and ticketmaster because the less I know, the better I feel. But of course, it doesn’t stop my sister from getting emails too (and sharing them with me) so one night while I was busy doing something, she called me from the living room to say that Sheryl Crow is having a concert in September at Mountain Winery. Gahhhhh! That was that.

This is turning out to be a good year for concerts for me (if I don’t think about Fleet Foxes… aray!) I have a Coldplay concert in July, and hopefully another concert in August and then Sheryl Crow in September. Kulang na lang Green Day in August and New Kids on the Block this July sa Concord hahahaha!

Aha! Just found out James Taylor is having a concert at mountain winery in September as well. Atsi will flip.

The Pacman

2009-05-06T18:30:00.000-07:00

I think I’ve only seen one Pacquiao match before the fight with Hatton and I remember feeling tense then, too. It’s a good thing that Hatton only lasted two rounds - although I would have wanted the fight to last a little bit longer for prolonged excitement. Anticlimactic kasi. They were fighting and then tumba! Tumba! And finally, TUMBA! I suppose that clenched feeling in my tummy is immaterial compared to what Becky told me about the 3 Filipinos in the Philippines who died of a heart attack while watching the fight. I know it’s sad that they died, but Becky and I almost fell off our chairs laughing while she was telling me the story.

Healthy Living, Healthy Eating

2009-04-29T18:31:00.000-07:00

I’ve been so good lately with all my green smoothies and pracitcally-no-meat food plan. I don’t want to say the D word anymore because it’s bad! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad connotation, bad for the health, bad for the body! So if anyone asks me if I’m on a D, I will say, “No! I’m just eating healthier.” More fruits, more veggies, reduced intake of sweets - as in reduced! I swear! - no junk food… wait, I had Chippy yesterday, but that was because I wanted to eat turon and Chippy was the nearest thing to turon I could think of. What? Both reminded me of the Philippines! So except for the occasional chicken, spaghetti with hotdog and Chippy, I’ve been very good.

The mere smell of meat makes me ill sometimes, usually when atsi fries her porkchop - which is almost every other night - so maybe that’s why it makes me ill. Every other night ba naman, amoy porkchop yung bahay! It’s weird because I used to love eating porkchop, especially when I was in the Philippines. We would have breaded porkchop na lalagyan ko ng kalamansi which would not be complete without a fried egg or two on top of the rice. And other times, we would have toyong porkchop which tasted even better when nabudburan ko na ng knorr seasoning, yum!

Meat cannot be avoided entirely though because that would mean giving up on potstickers, sausages, the occasional tapa, spaghetti with hotdog, siomai, Quiznos’ alpine chicken sammies, yoshinoya beef bowl, lumpiang shanghai and mechado. I would eat meat, but I will make damn sure it’s something I really want before I put it in my mouth.

ebayad ng ebayad

2009-04-21T18:31:00.000-07:00

The midtop bensimon sneakers I wanted to buy on jumelle ran out of stock a few days ago. It’s no surprise since they are adorable and relatively popular (it has a cult following). I’ve been eyeing the pair I wanted for about three months now and I kept putting it off and putting it off because there’s always something I have to buy that’s more important (school books, acne medication -ha!). So of course, typical me, as soon as I psyched myself to buy the pair, they run out! I looked and I looked online to find the pair that I wanted but I didn’t find any. I tried sites suggested by the bensimon girls such as shopbop, urban outfitters, free people, yoox - nothing! I thought I would try ebay as a last resort but even there, not a pair of bensimon sneakers could be found (ok save one pair that I didn’t like). Unfortunately, or fortunately, I started looking for more stuff on ebay. My fingers just typed and typed for things that I wanted and didn’t want, for things I never thought I wanted but actually did, and for things that I didn’t even know I knew!

And then I ended up looking for old Archie comic books. I haven’t been a fan for the past decade but I will always love the issues from the 70s and the 80s. I found some really wonderful comic digests from the copper age being sold and I bid on a couple of them. I regretted it the next day when I realized I was the only bidder for the 2 lots and I would be spending more money than I planned but as it turns out, I needn’t have worried. No one was bidding until the last minute and then just like that, I lost! Durrr… my computer and my connection were not fast enough unfortunately and I’m sure veteran users of ebay have a lot of tricks up their sleeve when it comes to winning auctions. I’m going to try and bid again for a couple of lots and I’ll see what happens tomorrow. There’s no one bidding for any of the stuff I’m bidding on but I’m betting it’s going to be crazy again at the last minute. I hope I luck out. It’s lonely without my Archie comic digests - I left them all in the Philippines.

Moving Out and Driving On

2009-04-16T18:32:00.000-07:00

Finally! After almost 8 months of being cooped up in my sister’s teeny tiny apartment, we just moved to a bigger place last weekend - an actual house! It has two bedrooms, a front yard, a back yard, a garage and a lot of parking space. So why is parking space important? Because…

I just passed my driving test a few days ago! Woohoo!

I was already readying myself for the possibility of taking it at least twice but luckily enough, I only had to take it this one time. Right now, I’m busying myself with insurance research online and listing down possibilities for my future car. Number 1, it has to be within my budget. Number 2, it can be any color but red or blue. Number 3, there should be dual airbags. Number 4, I should be able to pay for it using my credit card hahaha!

My room in the new house looks like a disaster area right now because I haven’t gotten around to arranging my things yet, especially my books and my papers which make up approximately 60% of my things. I’m looking around for an affordable desk with a hutch but everything I’ve found so far have been super expensive!I miss the study table I had back in Taiwan. I hope Auntie Lolit is making good use of it. I really loved that table.

After an exhausting weekend last week moving stuff from the apartment to the truck (big ass couch, 2 beds, tables, chairs, shelves and lots more), I came down with food poisoning or stomach flu early Monday morning. I don’t know which one, what I do know is I’ve never puked so hard in my life! My throat, jaw and chest hurt for several days after. I’m still not 100% but I feel 99% better than I did last Monday, that’s for dang sure.

It was a good thing I passed my driving test this week because it was shaping up to be a really bad one starting with my vomiting non-stop last Monday, and Tuesday turning out to be what it was. I bought a ticket for a Fleet Foxes concert at the Fillmore a few months ago which I have been looking forward to like I’ve never looked forward to any concert I’ve ever been to before. Iba and level of excitement ko for this one because this is probably the first time I have loved a band and their new album and actually get to see them perform all in a space of a few months. Typically, I have to wait for my favorite musicians until they are past their popularity date before I get to see them (in the Philippines ba naman kasi). But dammit! Dammit dammit dammit! Atsi and Jamie were busy that night for some last minute cleaning at the old apartment that they couldn’t drive me to San Francisco. Masakit… masakit na masakit. The ticket was only $40 but the experience I could have had watching my favorite band perform would have been priceless. Hay leche, moving on.

So I just got my paycheck for my work last month at the center so I deposited it and was happy to see how much money I had in the bank. But then, I had to withdraw almost all of it to pay for my second tuition installment and other bills so dumapo lang sa kamay ko yung pera. Hmm, I wonder what “dumapo” is in English? I have so many things lined up that I really badly want to buy. Of course, there is the aforementioned car, then a GPS navigation system, a vita-mix blender, a desk, Dolce Gabbana’s cologne, and bensimon sneakers - I want 3! They are lovely!

I have noticed that my posts for the past few months have been running on the same theme: wanting a car, wanting to shop and wanting more money. If I just had the money, then I wouldn’t need to mention the first 2 so much!

Spring Break 2009

2009-03-27T18:32:00.000-07:00

I’ve been staring at the monitor for the past 5 minutes and I can’t come up with anything…ok, maybe I’m half-staring at the monitor because I’m also watching Sixteen Candles on DVD. I just had a sudden need to see Jake Ryan again *sigh*

…make that 15 minutes half-staring at the monitor.

Anyway, it’s spring break next week and I just turned in my final paper last Thursday. Hurrah! I’m working all next week though so I’m not really going on any kind of break. I need the money so I’m not complaining. I just realized as I’m typing this that the fingers on my right hand are really sore.

…and cut to the scene where Farmer Ted is asking Samantha for her underpants.

Anyway my fingers are sore because I spent half the day scrubbing the walls of the living room, bedrooms and kitchen of the new place my family and I are moving to next month. It’ll be further (or is it farther? Gak! grammar!) away from my school but at least it’s a house and not a teeny tiny apartment. I’ve been literally living out of a suitcase for the past 8 months. In a couple of weeks, I’d be able to hang my clothes in an actual closet and give them a proper airing. I’m not even sure how many clothes I have since most of them are packed up somewhere.

…and cut to the scene where Long Duk Dong is passed out in the front yard.

Spring quarter starts in a couple of weeks and I have 4 new child development classes to look forward to. Oh wait make that (maybe) 5 classes since Becky and I are waitlisted for this badminton class we’re not even sure we’re eligible to take.

…and cut to the scene where Samantha goes back inside the church to get her sister’s veil.

…and to the scene where Samantha and Jake are sitting on the dining table with the birthday cake between them.

Thank the Lord for Michael Schoeffling.

Anyway, school was pretty easy this quarter. I chose a good combination of classes that didn’t stress me out. Although whenever I say I’m not stressed out, the zits on my face indicate that I am stressed out. It’s weird. Can a person be stressed without realizing it? I think I’ve asked this question numerous times before. I still haven’t figured it out. What I have been trying to figure out though is how to get rid of my skin woes when there aren’t any dermatologists around here who use injection as part of their treatment. A friend recommended proactiv, but I’m weary about the negative effects. I have been using Clinique’s Even Better Skin Tone Corrector for the past week and I think I see some improvement.

It’s so typical that I can be so aware of the minutest change in my appearance and be so oblivious to the changes happening to other people around me. I swear a friend could be wearing the same clothes for a whole week and I wouldn’t even notice. We had this one activity in class where we had to stare at a seatmate’s face for a few minutes and record everything we see on paper. It was a weird, uncomfortable, unnerving activity because (1)I don’t like anyone staring too long at my stupid face (2)I’m not used to staring or looking at someone for long periods of time. It made me realize a few things though and I’ve been experimenting on looking at people more directly now. I don’t want to just look at someone, I want to see. Every line, every mark, every blink…haha! If I know you, beware! I have such a terrible memory when it comes to faces that I think this exercise would help me remember people more.

Life ni Michelle This Winter

2009-03-04T17:33:00.000-08:00

I took a health and nutrition class this quarter as part of the requirement for my child development degree and I’m learning a lot. I have become more conscious of the food I eat and I have been trying my best to eat more healthy and lead a more active lifestyle. The operative word is trying because I just ate half a slice of chocolate cake a couple of hours ago. What can I say? It was there! It was atsi’s birthday last Monday and I must say that her birthday has been detrimental to my health. We went to Barrio Fiesta last Sunday to celebrate (the last time I ate at Barrio Fiesta was probably 2 decades ago). I ordered Bistek Tagalog because I really missed it but when I got home, I felt really sick. It wasn’t that the bistek was bad, it’s just that I’m not used to eating beef anymore. I’ve decided to cut beef and pork from my diet as well as white rice and unfortunately I had all three that Sunday. I don’t know if it was psychosomatic and my conscience was making me sick but I was totally incapacitated the whole day. It kind of killed my love for beefsteak and mechado.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

I finished my volunteer work a couple of weeks ago at PTRAC. It is one of the requirements for a class I’m taking right now and as far as volunteering goes, it’s been a wonderful experience. I spent 12 hours in total making instructional materials which I’ve always loved doing, even when I was teaching in Taiwan. I used to make hundreds and hundreds of flashcards and storybook materials for my kids, not minding the hours I spent unpaid doing them. PTRAC is a resource center for teachers who want to make materials for their classroom. For a membership fee, they could pop in at PTRAC and use the equipment and materials inside for free. They also do a lot to serve the community such as conducting trainings and even helping out teachers who have gone back to school with their homework!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

I was waiting for the bus one fine morning when two (huge) black men walked up to me. One of them took something out of his pocket… it was a CD, their CD. He said he was selling it to me for 5 bucks. I said, “no thanks” with a smile and put my earphones back on. He kept talking to me to convince me to buy it and again I said, “no thanks” with a smile. A couple of minutes later, the bus arrived. I heaved a sigh of relief and wished for the nth time that I had a friggin’ car.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

I went to the DMV yesterday (finally!) to get my learner’s permit and I passed after two tries. Now I have a few months to schedule an actual driving test. I. Can’t. Wait. Kahit wala pang car, driver’s license man lang dapat meron.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

I’m going to start registering for classes this week for spring quarter. I’m torn between taking 4 or 5 subjects. On the one hand I want to finish my associate degree as soon as possible so that I can move on to my master’s. On the other hand, I don’t want to be stressed for 3 months due to work and school overload. Decisions have to be made, and soon.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Some of the kids at work have started calling me by name. They’re learning how to talk! I work with toddlers most of the time and while they can be a handful, I love them! Now when I enter the room they go, “Chelle! Chelle!” I actually smile a lot at work. It’s when I’m home that I pout and sulk.

Concerts and Concerts

2009-02-19T17:33:00.000-08:00

I’m going to the Coldplay concert in July! Yipee!

Tickets went on sale last Saturday at 10am and as soon as I checked livenation (at 10am exactly), almost all tickets were gone! The only tickets being sold were for the lawn area where you have to bring your own chair/blanket. Arghhh! Then I checked other websites that will sell Coldplay concert tickets (Read: Scalpers) and they were selling them 3 to 10 times as much! I was this close to buying an overpriced ticket for a not-so-good seat until I saw the extra charges. 80 bucks for the processing fee and 15 for the shipping! A ticket which was only supposed to cost $98 was being scalped for $230 + $95 extra fees! Forget it! Then my sister checked livenation again that night and told me (the next morning!) that they were selling tickets again. Vroom! Vroom! I went online, bought a ticket for myself (stressful 15 minutes since the ticket availability kept changing every few seconds) and then bought a ticket for Becky, a friend I’m going to the concert with. So, both of us are going to the concert, only we’re about a hundred seats apart!

I’ve been dreaming of attending a Colplay concert since they released their first album, and now, 4 studio albums later, I’m finally going! I just have to wait for 5 months though. While I’m not completely sure that the California/US lifestyle is for me, I’m so not unhappy about all the concerts I can go to. Now if I only had a car and some more extra cash, then I would love to go to these concerts too:

February 22 - Modest Mouse (Fox Theater, Oakland)
April 17 - Band of Horses (Fox Theater, Oakland)
April 18 - The Black Keys (Fox Theater, Oakland)
April 19 - The Killers (San Jose State Event Center Arena, San Jose)
May 21 - Kings of Leon (Bill Graham Civic Auditorium, San Francisco)
May 22 - TV on the Radio (Fox Theater, Oakland)
May 25 - Flight of the Conchords (Berkeley Community Theatre, Berkeley)

Why are all these bands playing in Oakland? People in San Jose like to listen to music too!

Valentimes

2009-02-13T17:34:00.000-08:00

My sister was telling me a few days ago that a lot of the people she has met here in the U.S. say “Valentimes” instead of “Valentine’s.” It sounded ridiculous but I guess it’s possible. I read an article online about the 17 best romantic comedies this decade and I agree with almost all of them. I am actually allergic to certain types of romantic comedies but I try not to judge, I like my fair share of embarrassing ones. I can’t stand Cameron Diaz or Kate Hudson but I like Sandra Bullock’s rom coms. Notting Hill made me want to puke but I adore Four Weddings and a Funeral and Love Actually. Insipid teen movies such as She’s All That and A Walk To Remember were painful to watch but I enjoyed watching Amanda Bynes’s She’s the Man.

The 17 best romantic comedies from paste magazine were:

17. Waitress - Umm umm umm. The pies! Nathan Fillion! The pies! While there was romance between Jenna and Dr. Pomatter, I think this movie was more about the love story between Jenna and her baby. Keri Russell was very good in her role as Jenna, the long-suffering wife of an abuser, but the amazing supporting cast balanced the movie with funny moments from their own storylines.

16. The Science of Sleep

15. Ghost Town

14. Bridget Jones’s Diary - Renée Zellweger was surprisingly good as Bridget Jones. At first, I couldn’t imagine this skinny twig from Texas to play a slightly overweight and dotty Brit, but she proved everyone wrong. The humor from the book was not lost in the movie and even had the added benefit of seeing Hugh and Colin engage in girly fistyfights. Hugh Grant has always looked foxy but there is something about Colin Firth. My friends Gina and Jenny have never understood Colin’s allure (they always referred to him as superlolo), but he just makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

13. The 40-Year-Old Virgin

12. Vicky Cristina Barcelona - this movie was fun and breezy, just the way I like ‘em! Spain looked so beautiful in the movie that I’ve decided to make it my first overseas trip next year. I hope. A lot of good things have been written about the performances of Scarlett Johnasson, Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz (deservedly so in Penelope’s case), they have sadly overlooked Rebecca Hall who did a wonderful job of portraying Vicky, who was funny even without trying.

11. Lars and the Real Girl - this movie is absurd, weird, sad, sweet and beautiful. I think I’m this close to becoming a Lars myself hahaha! I just need to find that life-sized anatomically-correct doll of Damian Lewis online.

10. About a Boy - I liked this book of Nick Hornby’s the best and the movie’s casting director did an amazing job of picking the right actors to play the major parts in the movie: Toni Collette, Hugh Grant, Nicholas Hoult. I should also mention that Badly Drawn Boy’s music made a significant contribution to the movie’s setting and tone and even after 6 years, the soundtrack is still a favorite.

9. Juno - a movie filled with so many quotable quotes that it earned first-time screenwriter Diablo Cody an Oscar. Thank God Ellen Page rose to the challenge and delivered her lines with aplomb.

8. Knocked Up

7. Sideways

6. Punch-Drunk Love - I’m not an Adam Sandler fan but I am a huge Emily Watson fan. Besides, the title alone is enough reason to watch this movie.

5. High Fidelity - I liked the book better. They shouldn’t have changed the setting to the U.S. but I can’t argue with the inspired casting of Jack Black.

4. Wall-E - BEAUTIFUL! WONDERFUL! HEART-WARMING! The best movie last year in my opinion. Who needs actors and lines when you have a wonderful score and excellent animation?

3. Amelie

2. Before Sunset - I remember watching Before Sunrise on VHS when I was 17 and I never thought they would make another movie after that because the ending was so perfect. Obviously I was wrong and Before Sunset became the perfect ending, unless they make another one in the next few years titled… Before Noon?

1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - I couldn’t have chosen a better number one myself. A highly original but impossible premise that almost everyone could relate to. If I had the chance to erase certain painful memories from my mind, I’d do it in a heartbeat, and will probably regret it if I could still remember what I chose to forget.

DeVotchKa!!!

2009-02-07T17:34:00.000-08:00

My sister and Jamie dropped me off at the Fillmore last Saturday in San Francisco. I was supposed to do my due diligence and research on the place since I’d be watching the concert on my own and all that but I was just swamped and thought I’d surprise myself. Well, I was surprised because I thought the place would be huge. Turns out the Fillmore is like a bigger version of music clubs back home, and it was really intimate and cool and rich in history. So anyway, I didn’t know what to expect in terms of the size of the venue and I was unsure at first if I was at the right place until I saw a line of people in front of the post office. When I entered the Fillmore, I saw the dance floor and wondered where the seats were. I explored the place a bit (it didn’t take long) and ended up at the balcony. After asking around, I ended up sitting in one of the best seats in the house! Well, I almost had a bird’s eye view of the band but there were two nice ladies sitting in front of me… who were making out a lot and I got kind of distracted haha! I didn’t want to be rude and stare but I couldn’t avert my eyes either because they were in my line of vision.

The concert though was fantastic! I’ve probably listened to all of Devotchka’s records a hundred times or more but I never realized how many instruments they used to play their music. I’ve always thought that their songs were expansive but I saw instruments that night that I’ve never seen before. All the members of the band played two instruments or more each and they even had extra musicians for strings. The best part of the concert was when they just let loose and let the music swell and fill the place. It. Was. Unbelievable! They played almost all my favorite songs except for The Last Beat of My Heart but I can’t complain because Queen of the Surface Streets was part of the setlist that night. Tom Hagerman, the band’s violinist, pianist, accordionist, trumpeter and melodicanist was so impressive! He could play just about anything. And Nick Urata, the band’s singer sounded just as good live, maybe even better. His voice was powerful and was literally an instrument in itself when he whistled and whoooed his way through songs. Ah! The concert was definitely worth the 40 bucks I paid (actually it was only $25 but livenation is a lot like PLDT with all their weird extra charges).

I’ve never been this close to a band I really liked ever! I could’ve been spitting distance from the band had I chosen to stay on the dance floor but I didn’t feel like standing around for more than an hour waiting for the concert to start with no one to talk to (pathetic!) I just wish I had a movie buddy and/or a concert buddy I could depend on. I’m watching Fleet Foxes at the Fillmore again next April and if I can’t convert any of my new friends here to the band before then, I guess I’m just going to dance all by myself on the dancefloor. Fuck it, it’s San Francisco after all.

7 Random Facts About Me

2008-12-15T17:47:00.001-08:00

I just remembered that Rosey tagged me in her blog more than a month ago. I’ve never been tagged before, at least not that I know of so this is a first.

I can be obsessive about people, places, and things (food, songs, books, gadgets) - and then it passes after a few months when I get sick of it, or he, or she, or they. Right now for example, I’ve become even more obsessive about spaghetti and I have been eating it everyday for more than 4 weeks.
I’ve been lugging around my new baby Otto EVERYWHERE! (Note: Otto is an Asus eee PC 901) - I suppose my number 2 is related to my number 1 so scratch this.
I can’t eat properly without Knorr seasoning and tomato ketchup.
I’m the shortest one in my family. Dad and Ahiya are 5′7, Mom used to be 5′4 1/2 but she is shrinking, Atsi is 5′4 1/2, Ditsi is 5′4, Syoti is 5′11 and I’m only 5′3 1/2.
I had my first crush in kindergarten.
I once borrowed “Snow White” from our local betamax rental store in Caloocan only to discover when we watched it at home that it was porn. My parents didn’t let me watch long enough to find out who Snow White was.
I have a blogger account, a multiply account, a facebook account, a friendster account, a flickr account and a myspace account. It’s really hard keeping track.
I used to attend Bible study with Sabrina before I left for Taiwan. Me! Bible Study!

I suppose I need to tag other people next but I’m not really sure who reads my blog, so if you’re reading this right now and you have a blog, I’m tagging you! (Haidee? Jeff? Ian? Cheryl? Lex? Shoot! I don’t have enough friends who blog!)

Winter Break 2008

2008-12-12T17:40:00.000-08:00

Yeehee! My last exam was yesterday and I’m finally free from school work for the next three weeks. I have been incredibly busy the past couple of months and it’s because I got a job! I’m really tired but grateful that I found a job on campus since there aren’t a lot of job opportunities inside and specific jobs I’m interested in are even harder to come by. So it was with good luck that I found work in the school’s Child Development Center as an associate teacher, not only will this job help me financially, but more importantly I would gain teaching experience in such a different setting than what I’ve been used to.

I’m satisfied with what I’ve learned about child development this fall and I know I still have a long way to go in terms of my education but I’m really looking forward to moving on. My 3-year-plan in the U.S. involves getting a teaching certificate in Child Development and a master’s degree in Early Childhood Special Education and hopefully at least 2 years of actual teaching experience. After I finish all that, then I can move on to a different continent and another adventure.

Right now though my most pressing problem is wheels. I want a car, I NEED a car, a CHEAP car! *sigh* Commuting wastes too much of my time and there are so many crazy people on the bus, not to mention smelly since it’s winter and some people here don’t shower as much. Also, I really need to take the driver’s exam soon since there’s going to be a Devotchka concert in January. It’s going to be in San Francisco and I don’t know anyone who likes the band so I’ll have to watch the concert all by my lonesome. I’ll buy the ticket first and worry about how I’ll get there later. I might be able to persuade atsi to lend me her car, but it would be useless if I don’t even have a driver’s license