The Sojourner Blog

Spiritual Entitlement...or Faith?

2008-07-02T08:00:00.000-05:00

I've known Legolas (his blog name, obviously) for going on 13-14 years now. And for about nine of those, he's been suffering with chronic pain...headaches. Actually, it's pretty much one headache that he's had continuously for nine years, with brief breaks of a day or a week here and there. Legolas is a devoted follower of Christ, and in all that time God has never given him any discernable sense of guidance or help to point him toward understanding what is going on or to help him find a solution. He's been to just about every specialist you can think of...and a few kinds of specialists you've probably never heard of. Nobody knows what's going on.

Legolas asks for God's help just about every day, but depite his great need he wouldn't say (or even think) that he feels entitled to God's miraculous divine intervention in his situation. He doesn't think it's necessarily God's job to always take away every form of opposition and struggle that we face and make it all okay. That's a childish view of faith...and of God's role in our lives.

But, what Legolas would say is that he feels entitled to God "throwing him a bone" once in a while. It's a tough line theologically to parse out...is it faith that expects God to lead us in a way we can understand, or is it entitlement? When a circumstance becomes so dire and so chronic (such as Legolas' health challenges), is it entitlement for him to expect God to "throw him a bone"--that is, toss him a hint, point him in a direction, offer a word of encouragement to his soul? Is it pride that fosters deep anger in him when God fails to do this for him?

I suppose the question comes down to this: In our quest to become all God dreams for us, what does authentic faith allow us to boldly expect from God in that process? Certainly by faith we can fully expect that God is good, that he loves us, that he is for us, that his disposition toward us is one of favor and blessing. But is there anything specifically that we can by faith expect God to do (by way of intervention into our material affairs) that does not creep across the line into entitlement?

Perhaps the sin of entitlement (and I would call it a sin*) stems at least in part from a lack of understanding about the nature of the partnership God has set up with us through Christ. It's the age-old question of "What is God's role, and what is mine?" In my own journey, I find myself moving (actually, full on sprinting) away from the more passive "ask and wait" paradigm I lived in for so many years of my life, and toward a more active partnership in which my role is just as engaging and intense as God's.

For example, I used to "expect" God to simply bring me my wife and plop her down right into the center of my life in a way that was both obvious and easy to grab hold of; I guess you could say I felt entitled to that specific blessing from God. I no longer believe that (and believe me, I have mourned the loss of that belief, because it's a pretty wonderful belief to have...it's easy, after all, and sublimely romantic). I don't expect God to drop my wife from the heavens right on my head. I now believe I have to go and get her; that's my role...to "take possession" of her in a way, and in this way, take possession of that arena of my life and heart. But I DO expect God to teach me how to go get her. I do expect him to father me in that. That feels clean to me, though much much less easy than my old entitlement ways of doing things.

So when it seems that God has not spoken or will not speak to Legolas in a way that he can grasp...to provide insight, encouragement, or to point him in a direction--in short, to teach him...is Legolas justified in feeling bitter at God about that, or is there some larger view of things that is trying to make itself known? I honestly don't know. But I can tell you this: When Legolas and I pray together, it's rare that he doesn't ask God for guidance, for direction and help, and for the humility to hear and obey. There may have been a time when Legolas judged God unfair and untrustworthy for what has happened in his life. But now, though he invites God to teach him, he can't seem to find evidence of him anywhere in his world. He's like the prodigal who got lost on the way back to the Father's house.

On further reflection, I think there is something to be learned here about the nature of teachableness in the journey of transformation. Often when we come to God and ask him to teach us, we naturally make assumptions about what it looks like to be taught, and when those things don't happen we make up that God is absent and we're not being taught anything at all. But for the truly teachable heart, the faith-filled assumption is that we are in fact being taught all the time--that all of life is a dojo and that God is the everpresent Sensei, infusing every breath, every moment, with the ripe potential for discovery and transformation. The lesson is available for the heart that is willing to surrender its assumptions, open its eyes, and take in a larger view.

"He who has ears to hear, let him hear" (Matthew 11:15).

*Sin is a loaded word in our culture, so perhaps I should explain what I mean by it here. I define sin according to its literal meaning, which is "to miss the mark." The term originated in the realm of archery: whenever an archer shot an arrow that missed the bullseye on the target, he was said to have "sinned." That is an elegant and I think accurate depiction of what sin actually is. So when I talk about entitlement as a sin, I simply mean that such an attitude/perspective "misses the mark" of hitting the bullseye of the LIFE that we are made for and, in fact, most deeply desire.

Lessons of the Square Watermelon

2008-07-01T09:07:00.003-05:00

One of my best friends passed along a story that is a great reminder of the power of creativity and innovation. The story revolves around the growing of square watermelons in Japan (a confirmed true story from Snopes). Below is the email he passed along:

Japanese grocery stores had a problem. They are much smaller than their US counterparts and therefore don’t have room to waste. Watermelons, big and round, wasted a lot of space. Most people would simply tell the grocery stores that watermelons grow round and there is nothing that can be done about it. But some Japanese farmers took a different approach. ”If the supermarkets want a space efficient watermelon,” they asked themselves, “How can we provide one?” It wasn’t long before they invented the square watermelon.

The solution to the problem of round watermelons wasn’t nearly as difficult to solve for those who didn’t assume the problem was impossible to begin with and simply asked how it could be done. It turns out that all you need to do is place them into a square box when they are growing and the watermelon will take on the shape of the box.

This made the grocery stores happy and had the added benefit that it was much easier and cost effective to ship the watermelons. Consumers also loved them because they took less space in their refrigerators which are much smaller than those in the US - which resulted in the growers being able to charge a premium price for them.

What does this have do with anything besides square watermelons? There are a five lessons that you can take away from this story which will help you in all parts of your life. Here are a few of them:

1.) Don’t Assume: The major problem was that most people had always seen round watermelons so they automatically assumed that square watermelons were impossible before even thinking about the question. Things that you have been doing a certain way your entire life have taken on the aura of the round watermelon and you likely don’t even take the time to consider if there is another way to do it. Breaking yourself from assuming this way can greatly improve your overall life as you are constantly looking for new and better ways to do things.

2.) Question Habits: The best way to tackle these assumptions is to question your habits. If you can make an effort to question the way you do things on a consistent basis, you will find that you can continually improve the way that you live your life. Forming habits when they have been well thought out is usually a positive thing, but most of us have adopted our habits from various people and places without even thinking about them.

3.) Be Creative: When faced with a problem, be creative in looking for a solution. This often requires thinking outside the box. Most people who viewed this question likely thought they were being asked how they could genetically alter water melons to grow square which would be a much more difficult process to accomplish. By looking at the question from an alternative perspective, however, the solution was quite simple. Being creative and looking at things in different ways in all portions of your live will help you find solutions to many problems where others can’t see them.

4.) Look for a Better Way: The square watermelon question was simply seeking a better and more convenient way to do something. The stores had flagged a problem they were having and asked if a solution was possible. It’s impossible to find a better way if you are never asking the question in the first place . Always ask if there is a better way of doing the things that you do and constantly write down the things you wish you could do (but currently can’t) since these are usually hints about steps you need to change. Get into the habit of asking yourself, “Is there a better way I could be doing this?” and you will find there often is.

5.) Impossibilities Often Aren’t: If you begin with the notion that something is impossible, then it obviously will be for you. If, on the other hand, you decide to see if something is possible or not, you will find out through trial and error.

* Credits - This article was passed along to me by my friend Gandalf who found it on the Hard Knox Life blog. Hard Knox got it from Bryan Radtke at P&G and in the body of the forward, Alistair Johnston appears to be the author. I want to give credit where credit is due so if you know who originally wrote this, please let me know!

Question of the Month

2008-06-17T16:44:00.002-05:00

Here is this month's powerful question:

What have you been tolerating in your life for way too long?

Click the "comments" link below to post your response.

Novel Update...and other books

2008-06-16T13:20:00.000-05:00

OK folks, you're the first to see this...the cover for WAYMAKER! Awesome eh? Josh nails it yet again! Su-weet!

So here's the latest on Waymaker, and other books:

* The cover for Waymaker is done!
* Kristen has typeset the interior of Waymaker, and I'm now proofreading the book to make any last-minute changes.
* Gideon's Dawn is uploaded and ready to go...It's just waiting on its buddy Waymaker to join the party.
* The new Pearlsong Refounding website is also finished, and will go live as soon as both Gideon's Dawn and Waymaker are ready to go.
* The Transformed Heart is now online and available for sale (thanks to those of you who have already purchased your copy! And tell your friends!)
* Kim is working on the cover for Alone with God (it looks awesome!)

You've all had the patience of Job with these projects! Thanks for the grace and support you've extended to me! It won't be long now!

My Radio Interview with WDLM

2008-06-14T15:46:00.009-05:00

Last week I was honored to be interviewed by Moody Bible Institute's WDLM radio about my recent article on Crosswalk titled "Watch Your Language." WDLM is broadcast over a big swatch of the midwest, so I'm curious to gauge the response from listeners. My interviewer, Jason, graciously sent me a copy of the interview so I could post it here on the blog. Just click the "play" button below to check it out. The interview is right about 12 minutes long.

Just Released: The Transformed Heart!

2008-06-12T17:35:00.003-05:00

Great news, everyone! The Transformed Heart, my first book from Ascent Books & Media, is now released and available for worldwide consumption!

GET YOUR COPY HERE!

Oh, and here's a description of what you'll find inside:

It’s a Big Life you’re called to lead. There’s a Big Dream in your heart, placed there by God himself. A desire, deep down, to do something more; to be something more. It’s like you’re being summoned to a Higher Purpose, and a Bigger Life. Because, in fact, you are. The Transformed Heart devotional is your personal guide to experiencing that bigger life. Covering a period six months, the weekday readings invite you to connect with Christ through his Word on a truly intimate, relational level-by learning to notice where God is already actively at work in your heart and life, and intentionally partnering with him in a way that leads to authentic life transformation. Your big life in Christ is waiting to be revealed. So take heart, and hold on to your courage. Jesus loves you, and he is with you right now. Let the journey begin...

(Stay tuned...Gideon's Dawn & Waymaker are soon to follow!)

Exertion, Failure & The Transformational Life

2008-05-31T09:20:00.003-05:00

Bahram Akradi, Founder and CEO of Life Time Fitness, wrote something in the latest issue of Experience Life Magazine that has stuck with me all week. He draws an interesting parallel between physical exertion and a transformational lifestyle:

"Amazing stuff, muscle tissue. Work it to the point where it's hard-pressed to go any further, and it responds by repairing itself and getting more powerful. Like our minds, hearts and spirits, our bodies feel best and happiest wehn they are being challenged to grow and get stronger, not when they are atrophying from disuse...Both literally and figuratively, if we go long enough without making muscle--that is, without challenging ourselves to learn and grow in some way--we risk a disconnection with those parts of ourselves that naturally yearn to stretch, explore and evolve. And very often, that disconnection manifests as boredom, apathy, depression--or, perhaps worse, as addiction and desctructive thrill seeking."

Authentic personal growth, life change, transformation--it simply doesn't happen inside the boundaries of a comfort zone. To live transformationally is to always be stepping beyond the border of the comfortable to where you thought you could not go, to press in to what you thought you could not do. It is to engage with the unknown and the fear of the unknown, to risk real failure--in fact, to pursue it and when it comes, rather than run away, to press into it, in the same way an athlete continually presses into his physical limits, so as to extend the borders of his capacity.

Here's the truth of it: Authentic fulfillment in life never happens in a Comfort Zone; rather, it thrives on the edge of the unknown, beyond the borders of the status quo where it's no longer possible to pretend.

Watch Your Language

2008-05-27T09:48:00.002-05:00

My latest "Coaching Corner" column is now up on Crosswalk.com:

“With the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach will be satisfied; He will be satisfied with the product of his lips.” — Proverbs 18:20

Whenever I start coaching a new client, we launch our relationship with an extended “getting to know you” session in which I ask a lot of questions to learn about his or her values, passions, goals, and the obstacles that have historically gotten in the way of reaching them.

In that session, one of the questions I often ask is, “What are the top three or four things you find yourself consistently saying about your life?” It’s an important question for us to explore, because it helps us look past the circumstances (good or bad) to get a clearer view of the underlying beliefs and perspectives that are fueling his or her current experience of life. Some of the responses I typically hear...

Click here to read the rest...

What The Spirit is Saying...

2008-05-19T19:40:00.000-05:00

KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW.

The Power of Naming (or Renaming)

2008-05-17T18:06:00.002-05:00

Harvard University recently published a study in which it divided 84 female hotel workers into two groups, and monitored the fitness level of each group for four weeks. Both groups were instructed to simply follow their regular workday routine, with no additional exercise. However, at the beginning of the study one of the groups was informed about how their ordinary work activities (cleaning, making beds, etc.) actually amounted to a form of exercise, and fulfilled the recommendations for daily activity levels in healthy people. The other group served as a control group, and was not given this information.

Although neither group changed its behavior, the women who were conscious of the fact that their work activities amounted to exercise experienced a significant drop in weight, blood pressure, body fat, waist-to-hip ratio and body mass index in just four weeks. The control group experienced no improvements, although they were engaged in exactly the same physical activities.

This study illustrates the profound transformational impact our perspective and awareness has on our results. How you choose to look at something--that is, how you "name" it (in this case for example, naming their work activities as "exercise" instead of simply "my job")--has significant power to either lead you toward real change and growth, or to keep you stuck in the status quo.

Where is your perspective holding you back from real, significant life change? Sometimes the biggest breakthroughs in life come from simply "renaming" a perceived weakness as a strength, or a perceived burden as a stepping stone to a better life.

Powerful Question of the Month

2008-05-15T15:14:00.003-05:00

If Money were a person, how would you describe the nature of the relationship between you?

Share you thoughts--just click on the "comments" link below.

A Transformational Kick in the Pants

2008-05-01T12:43:00.000-05:00

The War of Art by Stephen Pressfield is required reading for my writing clients. The following excerpt from the book tells you why:

"Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance...

"Resistance is the most toxic force on the planet. It is the root of more unhappiness than poverty, desease, and erectile dysfunction. To yield to Resistance deforms our spirit. It stunts us and makes us less than we are and were born to be. If you believe in God (and I do) you must declare Resistance evil, for it prevents us from achieving the life God intended when He endowed each of us with our own unique genius. Genius is a Latin word; the Romans used it to denote an inner spirit, holy and inviolable, which watches over us, guiding us to our calling. A writer writes with his genuius; an artist paints with hers; everyone who creates operates from this sacramental center. It is our soul's seat, the vessel that holds our being-in-potential, our star's beacon and Polaris...

"Look in your own heart. Unless I'm crazy, right now a still small voice is piping up, telling you as it has ten thousand times, the calling that is yours and yours alone. You know it. No one has to tell you. And unless I'm crazy, you're no closer to taking action on it than you were yesterday or will be tomorrow. You think Resistance isn't real? Resistance will bury you."

As I said, I require all my writing clients to read this book as a part of our coaching journey. I highly recommend it to anyone who feels creatively blocked, either internally or by circumstance. Ignoring Resistance won't make it go away; quite the contrary, actually. It's the opponent you don't see coming that knocks you out cold.

Are You Living a Story Worth Telling?

2008-04-29T08:38:00.009-05:00

Donald Miller delivered a talk on "Story" at Mars Hill in Seattle recently that utterly blew me away. His insight into what it takes to live a truly meaningful life...by crafting your life according to the elements essential to a really good story...are nothing short of genius.

What is the "story" you are writing with your life? Is it a good story? You want to find out? Listen to this--you won't regret it (appox. 1 hr):

One Chef's Defining Moment with Buddha

2008-04-28T15:46:00.005-05:00

The famous chef Eric Ripert describes his "defining moment" of life transformation in this month's issue of Best Life Magazine. Prior to his personal transformation, Ripert described himself as a "mini dictator, throwing things at people and frequently humiliating them."

"I was not happy with my life, and I didn't know why," says Ripert. "I needed something that would trigger a positive change in me."

That trigger came for Ripert in the form of a book, The Rampa Story by T. Lobsang Rampa, which the chef picked up in an airport in Paris as he was about to depart for Washington, D.C. Although the book was not a reference manual for Buddhism, it's Buddhist slant awakened within him a hunger to learn more. Through the Buddhist teachings and practices he has studied in the years since that key moment, Ripert says his life is transformed. "It's been a big evolution, a revolution, actually," reports Ripert. "My friends and family were surprised by the change, and some of my employees were suspicious of my transformation at the very beginning..."

OK, so why am I sharing this? For those Christ Followers out there (and I am one of them), I offer a question that perhaps we all need to consider: How is what Ripert experienced through Buddhism different from the sort of life transformation we often say is the exclusive turf of the Christian journey? If Ripert's transformational experience is genuine (and I have no reason to think it's not), then what exactly is the nature of the transformational experience that we believe only Christ can offer?

My Freeway "Voice Over"

2008-04-18T17:05:00.007-05:00

Yesterday on the long drive north to my final Gateway U Powerful Conversations course, I gave God my voice.

"He has made my mouth like a sharpened sword' -- Isaiah 49:2

We were talking about my speaking ability and I was listing off for him all the ways I felt that my skills as a public speaker (and even in private conversation) were not up to snuff. And finally I took a breath and asked him to comment on all I had just shared. And he said, "Will you give me your voice?"

An image came to my mind in that instant, a memory of a particular day many years ago, when I surrendered to God my writing...literally, I gave him my "pen" and it has been his ever since. This moment, in the car stuck in rush hour traffic on my way to class, felt holy like that.

Of course, I said yes...immediately. I said it a few times in fact, just to be certain I was being sincere. And then I asked, "What will you do with my voice, now that you have it?" And that's when Isaiah 49:2 came to mind, and I realized that even though I had recently spent weeks meditating on that passage, I had always thought of it in terms of my wordsmithing skill rather than my speaking voice. And I also thought how all of my adult life I have carried a quiet belief that my voice tended to have a calming effect on people. I'd noticed over the years of leading that my voice seemed to cover people with a warm blanket of peace and stillness. So I've never thought of my voice as being a sharp sword. But I've always wanted that...a voice that cuts, strikes to the heart and rouses the soul. And so it seems, in God's hands, that may be the voice I will have.

I speak tomorrow morning at the Gateway Men's Breakfast. I'm excited! The message is strong, and I know it in my bones. I'm bringing these men my gift. And, perhaps, a sword.

Nick's Testimony

2008-04-10T09:42:00.002-05:00

This inspired me today...

Check it...

2008-04-02T20:38:00.000-05:00

The splash is up! http://www.thepearlsongrefounding.com/ ! It won't be long now...

A Moment of Zing...

2008-03-31T10:23:00.004-05:00

Can't believe I came across this verse this morning in my time with God:

"The righteous gives and does not hold back."

(Proverbs 21:26)

Sound familiar?

Awesome...

Are You Twittering Yet?

2008-03-30T15:46:00.004-05:00

In case you've heard the word "twitter," or heard people talk about twittering, but don't know what it means, here's a helpful video to answer all your questions. I'm still debating whether I, too, will begin to twitter soon.

Twitter in Plain English from leelefever on Vimeo.

Powerful Conversations

2008-03-29T15:02:00.004-05:00

I'm currently leading two separate Powerful Conversations courses, and just had to drop a note to say I'm so stoked with how they are going! I'm getting emails between classes from participants who are experiencing some really amazing conversations with the important people in their lives. One father had a breakthrough conversation with his son with whom he'd been estranged for years. Another several have deepened their connections with their spouses using the tools we cover in the course. Even though the course is geared primarily toward leaders and leader relationships, the principles and tools we explore work powerfully in every kind of relationship. Love it!

And the Winner is...!

2008-03-24T18:47:00.005-05:00

OK, is this an awesome cover or WHAT? I am so stoked! Just had to show this off, and to offer a massive thank you to Josh Tilton who has successfully blown my socks off yet again! Josh, I'm forever in your debt.

Thanks to all you, too, for posting your vote on which cover you liked best. This one was the clear winner from that straw poll, and I couldn't be happier with it. Incredible.

Just a few quick updates on the book process (want to make sure you all stay in the loop!):

--Kristin has completed the first round of typesetting for Gideon's Dawn. I'll be sending it back to her for minor changes this week.

--The "innards" of The Transformed Heart is ready for the printer! Kim will be finishing up the cover soon. This will be the first book released by Ascent Books & Media! Shazaam!

--Kim is also working on the cover for Alone With God.

--The edit of Waymaker is nearly complete, and will be heading to Kristin this week for typesetting.

And as soon as these books are safely in the pipeline, I can finally dive in headlong to writing the final book in the Pearlsong trilogy, The Word Within.

Thanks everyone!

What The Spirit is Saying...

2008-03-23T21:20:00.004-05:00

PLAY TO WIN. EXPECT TO WIN.

(1 Corinthians 9:24)

Courage, Limitations & The Power of Choice

2008-03-21T10:44:00.002-05:00

An inspirational example of what it looks like to let your courage, rather than your limitations, determine what's possible for your life...

p.s.--I didn't even notice the girl had only one arm until close to the end of the performance.

The God Who Runs...Part 3

2008-03-15T12:34:00.003-05:00

I had one more insight recently about my exploration of times & situations in which God moves fast, and we (by implication) are called forth to keep pace with him.

It's in the famous story Jesus told about the prodigal son, which I had referenced before by pointing to the fact that the father (God) ran to embrace the prodigal upon his return home. But there is another little word in there that I think speaks volumes about God's heart toward us.

When the prodigal returns, he starts spouting off this speech he had been practicing about how stupid he was to have left, how he didn't deserve to be called a son anymore, and would the father please just take him back as a servant, blah blah blah... But the father doesn't care to hear his grand apology. He interrupts the son in mid speech and says to his own servants, "Quickly, bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet; and bring the fattened calf, kill it, and let us eat and celebrate..." (Luke 15:22-23, emphasis mine).

This speaks volumes to me about God's fierce passion, not merely to forgive us, but to restore us to our true identity. In essence, he wants us to know and experience who we really are...and he wants everyone around us to know it too. Through the father's actions toward his wayward son, he's basically saying to his son, "Enough of the groveling! Throw off these old rags and take your place as the true son you are." And then to the others present, his actions seem to me to be saying, "See this robe? See this ring? Pay attention and take note--this is my son, and you will all treat him with the honor due his true name."

Makes me wonder what "old rags" I stubbornly cling to at times, even as God is telling me to shutup, put on the robes of my true self, and celebrate with him.

What the Spirit is Saying...

2008-03-12T21:09:00.006-05:00

SPEAK YOUR TRUTH.