the sinister icy black hand of death

MAOTH THE SCHLONG

2009-11-15T10:50:00.005-05:00

Good Sunday to all of You 15.5 unreasonably loyal Readers. And welcome to any "guests". Please feel free to Sign-Up for the Subscription. This Sibhod is pretty par for the recent course: Nervous and Extemporaneous Ramblings that build up, get to Huge Post Length, then I drop 'em off in the proverbial Pool. Today's post contains a lot of the De Rigeur Narcissism, but I also:

1. "review" the book "The Big Shiny Prison" by Ryan Bartek
2. comment on the Cultural Phenomenon of "Paranormal Activity"
3. Present a New "Chapter" of my latest ongoing Fanfic.

This post is dedicated to any people I may have known in my Collegiate Career who are also suffering the pain of seeing their dreams and ideals crumble ignominously and they fall into and try to climb out of the consequent Crippling Depression. There might be a few kids out there who actually didn't skyrocket to Big Fat Bourge Careers, in other words. But if Kctmoap can "boomerang" back to his Parents' Basement and live an Alcohol-free, Hawt Action-Free, Embarrassingly Underemployed Life and still manage to climb out of his Own Personal Abyss, You can too!

Here's the Bartek stuff first, in case he may be actually reading:

The Big Shiny Prison
downloadable at:
http://www.mediafire.com/?bxmozxt4jom

Sometime between "back in The Day" and now, I met this guy Bartek, initially viewing him as "the guitar player in my friend's band." Turns out he is also A Writer and an all-around Interesting Fellow. By that time, around 2006ish, He'd written a book ("The Silent Burning"), he'd founded a "media empire", and he had established his own cult of personality, all at a rather young age. Suffice it to say, I'd never before met a person like Bartek, and I never have since, and I officially wholeheartedly recommend'n'endorse his New Book, "The Big Shiny Prison." He's been planning this for years, and now the actual Book is finally upon us.

I honestly can't think of anything quite like it, just like I can't think of a person quite like him. I do mean that in a complimentary way. He truly has accomplished what he desribes as a Herculean effort. You could say the book is basically about him traveling the US and writing about it. Along the way he meets some extremely colourful personalities, and he hits them with the hard questions. It should go without saying he is an admirer of Dr Hunter S Thompson, and I believe he takes Gonzo Journalism to even More Gonzo Peaks. The vast majority of us would not have the "cajones" to do what Bartek did for this book. I would go mad spending so much time amongst "crusties" and lunatics and anarchists and pyrates and Scumfucs and other Real Trve Dregs of society. Loads o' people live this life, though, and Bartek shines a light on it.

I can't even begin to describe it, let alone do it any justice. You really do just have to read it for Yourself.

I feel some affinity with Bartek because he is an Officially Good Writer, however, he is even more "insane" (i.e., Only Sane Guy In The Room) than myself. Also, I do really enjoy his sense of self-awareness, in which he essentially ficitionalizes nonfiction, and vice-versa. He Is His Style. He writes his own character. His character is in many ways seemingly inseparable from his life, such that we can never objectively guess Who Bartek really Is. I enjoy this playful mixing and bending of Reality and The Persona. I do it to some extent on the Sibhod; Bukowski did it with "Hank Chinaski", Thompson did it, etc. A little arrogance is a decent tool in the Good Writer's toolbox.

Underneath it all, though, he has a good sense of humour, which we must not overlook. He invokes/evokes The Marx Brothers at times.

I was honestly really very close to going to his Spoken Word performance at the magic stick, when he came through town about a year ago, because I am certain that him doing Spoken Word is a very Rational, Logical, Effective thing for him to do; simply, that he could put on a damn good spoken word performance, on par with Young Hank Rollins. However, I was "in one of my moods" that day, and did not feel like driving to the stick, or being inside the godforsaken stick. I have since tried to find some mp3z of his speaking, but have not come across anything.

And, to be perfectly honest, he had messaged me on MySpace, but You All know how I am with messages. (I was also In A Mood at that time.) Looks like I blew my chance to be in his book. At any rate, at this point, I would be more than happy to do a Low-Key Internets Correspondence with him. He does have huge interest in the SocioPoliticalEconomic realm (I personally would like to see a little bit more of The Libidinal!)

So yeah. He's a smart guy, solid writer, very tenacious, one-of-a-kind, and The Big Shiny Prison does indeed shine a light on some pretty "underground" subcultures which You've probably never readabook about.

There's also a hilarious paragraph in the introduction (written under one of his pseudonyms) where he says something like "chin pugnaciously thrust forward, bantam rooster stance straining against his 3 dollar suit" that made me Lol endlessly. He knows exactly what he's doing.

He will upset the academics the way he Cavalierly/Inappropriately throws jargon/terms around, lack of citations, etc, and by writing 100% Outside of Academia; but he, like me, is one of those "Too Cool For The PhD" types that, rather, is better-suited to have a Team of PhD's following him around, writing books about him, while he just Does His Pingpong Thang.

Should he see a Shrink? Probably, but that's not saying much, because I think We All should probably see a shrink. If I had to guess, he probably has nothing more than a common textbook case of Raging Bipolar Disorder. Or maybe took too much Acid in high school. With maybe some Nondebilitating Assburgers/Autism sprinkled in there. He's not some schizophrenic lunatic hearing voices. Although he does meet more than a few Looney Tunes along the way. (I like his references to "Toon Town" in "Roger Rabbit.")

He really rolls up the sleeves and dives right in to the nitty gritty. See, I enjoy the comfort of my nice, clean, quiet, suburban home too much to ever consider doing what he did, living in filth, living off dumpsterscraps and cheap booze, not having a regular sleep schedule, surrounded by perverts, vagrants, wastrels, and madmen. That's waaaay out of my Comfort Zone. I'm more than content working quietly at the library and going home and playing Dragon Quest. I admire Bartek's intestinal fortitude in what must have been a rather Excruciating Odyssey.

(Full disclosure: my constant use of the word "Excruciating" can probably, in fact, be traced directly back to Bartek; he would often send out Excruciating Rants on his Myspace Bulletins and then sign them "Excruciatingly, Bartek [or whatever clever pseudonym he chose], and I thought that was pretty funny. Smart Writers are often fully self-aware of their own sense of Excruciation)

Anyway, download and read the book, send it to your friends, etc. His promoting of the book as a free file-sharing type e-book makes perfect sense. In a perfect world, he would get a publisher, but none of those Free-Air-Hogging SuperBourge New York types would EVER award a publishing deal to this guy. EVER. Talk about a fist in the face of all the filthy values they stand for! Bartek is muuuch more Authentically AntiBourge than I, so-called "Classwar" (ha!), will ever be. Plus he embodies the D.I.Y. Aethos heart and soul. Of Course he should be the one distributing his own book. Again, though, in an ideal world, he'd make his 10 grand investment back, and then some profit.

Indeed, he is narcissistic bordering on the Megalomaniacal, but he does put the tongue squarely in cheek just when you've about had all you can handle.

Reading and ruminating on Bartek makes me want to compare/contrast him with Mark Twain or HL Mencken or Sinclair Lewis or some other assholes I've heard about but never read, in that he has a distinctly Amerikan voice; in that he hit the road like Kerouac or Steinbeck, etc. The US is a bigass place, and it can't be neatly summed-up, but some people do their best trying to see it all and make sense of it all. Big Dreams, Big Picture, Ad Astra, etc. Bartek wants to reach as broad an understanding of whatever "American culture" is, by experiencing as much of it first-hand as he can. As much of the HyperHypoSubalternSubCultures, mind You.

That said, he describes himself as a "ping-pong ball" and has wisely realized that sometimes the smartest thing to do is just "Simply" be a good listener, hit the record button, and pull the people's talk strings and be the fly on the wall. And do the people ever talk, sometimes in not-so-flattering ways, opening their mouths and revealing their own ignorance and arrogance; however, Bartek, better than me, knows well not to judge. But seriously. That Edwin Borscheim guy is Insane. I would have totally crapped my pants if I met that guy. Who also seems to be quite the misogynist. Who is probably going to hunt me down and kill me because I just talked shite about him.

Bartek can handle Overstimulation a lot better than I can; in fact, I think he gets-off on it to some extent. He's somehow more Social than I am. Maybe it's the mania. Whatever it is, it's a damn fascinating read for those of us Homebodies who would prefer vicariously living in the presence of maniacs, rather than actually being there.

I'm not really cut out for "the road" and the idea of living in filthy squats and crossing the country on Greyhound buses does not appeal to me in the least. But yes, I am a big fan of reading the stories of people who have done that. There's no doubt Bartek could have also made a solid Movie out of this whole experience, and I'm sure the thought has crossed his mind, and perhaps he does have some footage; but, you have to realize, he was doing this all on a shoestring.

Now you might accuse him of "selection bias" and complain "Couldn't he have talked to some non-shady people and surfed on their couches?", but, we must remember that it is his express purpose to investigate people living on The Edge: poverty, homelessness, madness, addiction, incarceration. Yeah, he probably could have crashed on a few Humanities/Sociology professors' Bourgeois couches and had them talk about The Underground, but Bartek's a total fiend for the Real Raw Deal.

So yeah. Check the book out, it's a fun read. I actually have not read it fully, just skimmed through, so, keep that in mind. Maybe he does talk to Bourgies.

He talks to a kid who was there in Colombine when they shot it up. He talks to Seth Putnam. The Seth Putnam. He might talk to that black metal guy in Seattle that I have a blackmetalmancrush on. I think he might even talk to Barry Obama at one point on the campaign trail. (Or maybe not, and that's just some kind of inside running joke. Or "Barack Obama" might be the name of some Grindcore Band. I confess, it does sounds like a decent Grind name.) (Edit: Now I'm thinking it was actually Big Barry himself. But I haven't gotten to that part of the book yet.)

Actually, re that whole " Mark Twain Americana" thing, it might be a little more accurate to say he's "American" like Tom Waits or Bob Dylan. You know; how if you do an interview with Tom Waits, it's not really an informative thing so much as him telling tall tales which may or may not be true. Or how Bob Dylan is Everywhere-Yet-Nowhere-At-The-Same-Time. These are totally not the "Normal Neighbors Next Door", but the intelligent madmen of "What's He Building In There?"

Bartek's got some of that going on. So it does make perfect sense that he has that Folk Singer/Songwriter project under the name Jack Cassady. Haven't really listened to that, but I should probably check it out.

For example, note how Bartek had called himself "Ghost Nomad": The perfect Walking Contradiction of being both Inside And Outside at the same time. Sorta Like that recent time Bob Dylan got picked up by the po-po in New Jersey because he was trying to find Bruce Springsteen's old house, and the cops didn't believe he was Bob Dylan, or didn't even really know who Bob Dylan was.

I would also encourage Bartek to Upload some of his Spoken Word recordings because those have also got to be a lot of fun. Just saying. I'm demanding Spoken Word Rar Uploads. Annnnd Rar Uploads of the Cassady, Sasquatch Agnostic, and aka Mabus stuff, for wot ppl can download onto their mp3 playerz and not be Slaven to Clownshoes Myspace Music Players. (I recall using a Tape Recorder to Record a Tape of an old aka mabvs show at the 2500 Club, and I recall it sounding Ridiculously Raw.)

I know he's usually got a lot on his proverbial plate, though, but a little organization could make his Oeuvre a lot more accessible. Although I'm pretty sure he likes being all Esoteric. He is truly quite the Colourful - and Charismatic - Character.

But I'm pretty sure he wants this book to reach a wider, not-as-esoteric audience. So I encourage all 16 Readers of the Sibhod to look it over, and pull some strings with Bourgeois College Friends working in Bourgeois Publishers in Bourgehattan.

The "Ellis Ghraib" cover art is pretty catchy but I'm gonna have to actually read notskim the book to see how it fits in with his theme. My only "significant criticism" of the book is that is seems kinda scattershot and in need of more "cohesion"/"unity" and a bit more sledgehammer-emphasis on "Wot's the main Thesis", but.... sew buttons. I'm in no place to be "giving notes", plus, I was being too much of a self-absorbed narcissist to ever respond to his message like a year ago.

Bartek's got more than enough energy, smarts, and Sticktoitiveness to really Make A Big Positive Change in the world, but the tragedy - which haunts many of the "characters" in "The Big Shiny Prison" - is that there's very often no place in Amerikkka for such Unique Snowflakes, and thus The Strange very often get pushed to the Edge, into the Underground, where they self-destruct with booze and drugs and jail etc. Which, I'm happy to say, I doubt will happen to him, and this book is proof. But it certainly wasn't always so doubtful/hopeful: Going down into The Abyss was a dangerous move in which Bartek did imperil his very life; but he was determined to write this book or die trying. And now he has written the book.

I'm kindasorta somewhat reminded of the Bukowski poyem:

the strongest of the strange

you won't see them often
for wherever the crowds are
they
are not.

these odd ones, not
many
but from them
come
the few
good paintings
the few
good symphonies
the few
good books
and other
works.

and from the
best of the
strange ones
perhaps
nothing.

they are
their own
paintings
their own
books
their own
music
their own
work.

sometimes i think
i see
them- say
a certain old
man
sitting on a
certain bench
in a certain
way

or
a quick face
going the other
way
in a passing
automobile

or
there’s a certain motion
of the hands
of a bag-boy or a bag-
girl
while packing
supermarket
groceries.

sometimes
it is even somebody
you have been
living with
for some
time-
you will notice
a
lightning quick
glance
never seen
from them
before.

sometimes
you will only note
their
existence
suddenly
in
vivid
recall
some months
some years
after they are
gone.

i remember
such a
one-
he was about
20 years old
drunk at
10 a.m.
staring into
a cracked
new orleans
mirror

face dreaming
against the
walls of
the world

where
did i
go?

(For some reason, I thought there was something about a man driving naked on the santa monica freeway at 4 am in this poyem, but I guess that must be in another one.)

Verdict: I read Bartek's book and wish him well, and You should too.

ii.

Many mornings I see one of my "Buddies" waltz-in at 7:30am. He is clean-shaven and sometimes wears a tie and he carries a Two-Liter of Diet Coke. This guy is ready to go. Something about a guy starting his productive day off with a Two-Liter of Diet Coke appeals tremendously to me. Right now I'm mixing Meijer(r)-brand Lite CranberryRaspberry Juice in with my Meijer Diet Rocky Mist + Chilled Tea (Luzianne; PLZ!) combo. Very interesting. (I've also discovered that Meijer(r) MVP Sports Drink Orange combines well with Meijer Diet Rocky Mist.) I should just get Meijer to Sponsor me.

That Hitlerlover Henry Ford was right: in order to do Big Things, it's very useful to break them up into Smaller Things. Applying this Aethos to The Solo Project is indeed helpful, and, I believe, will be a win-win situation both for me, as Maestro, and You, as the Audience. Because: Sound/Production is arguably more pivotal/crucial/onusish to the Heavy Metal Genre than to other Genres of music. That is, it's Harder to get a good sound, And you absolutely Need a good sound. (And when your ancient computer often produces Recording Lag, you've got a Triple-Edged Sword of SoloProjectsBane.)

But I made a mini-breakthrough. It's as simple as Mr Ford said. You just get started Early with small, yet discrete tasks. Then you can actually stick to your Timeline and deliver the finished song on time And have it sound good. "Tame The Beast" as my Acct Instructor says. He's really straightforward and just a great guy.

Making Breakthroughs every day. What works for one person may well not-work for another. But it is incumbent upon Us All to find out How We Operate, and it's amazing how well some people intuitively tune-into That, while others constantly fail miserably. It's what separates the Men from the Boys.

I, for one, am extremely fond of using ridiculous cliches and idioms like "Separate The Men From The Boys."

Finally finished reading "HP:Chamber Of Secrets". Pretty good. Definitely not bad. I kinda rushed though it, not really "drinking it in", because I wanted to finish it Quick so I could watch the movie. Plus I have little patience for most fiction to begin with. So why am I even doing this? Because I enjoyed the first movie. Because I like Emma Watson. Because HP is my kinda guy. Because I Respeck the Fanfiction. Because it's a good clean Hobby. Because I usually get-along well with people who like HP, moreso than I do with people who enjoy spending garbagebags of money on unflattering clothes at the mall. These are all very valid and strong reasons.

Here's something I'm thankful for: The other day this guy had a bunch of extra $9 food vouchers and he was handing them out to random people in the student center. He was friendly and gave me one and then I used it to buy a horde of Amp Energy Dranks. Which are now sitting in the fridge waiting to be Drank. By me. WIN. I could have bought some Burgers or Pita Wraps or something, but I'd already paid for my lunch of $2 fries, and I kinda wanted something I could use later.

I'm making Sick Progress in Dragon Quest. I heartily, unreservedly recommend this game to all owners of the Ps2 wot likea da RPGs. You simply can't go wrong with this game. It really does pull you in. It's beautiful, straightforward, and hilarious to boot. It plays to the strengths of the Classic OldSchool RPG and doesn't mess widda not-broke formula. There needs to be a Ninth. Don't worry. I've been saving for a moderner console for some time now.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to seclude yourself in a boring, unscenic, quiet cubbyhole when you want to get Stuff done. I learned this the hard way by trying to read an excruciating Acct Chapter while a pretty girl sat across from me, and a badger rooted around outside the window.

Can you believe that at one time, as a Fresch, green, "Recent Grad", I was even more naive, overprivileged, and immature than I am now - that I ever had "moral reservations" about "taking a job building bombs for the Govt?"

Damn, man. If Uncle Sam is giving away jobs to drop supercanceraids onto starving children in subsaharan africa, I'd ace that interview to get paid.

Gonna start another Weeklong Challenge to be Women-Friendly startinnnngggg.....NOW. Monday Morning.

I have a H-On for efficiency and schedules. Sometimes the Discovery of the Self leads to some pretty big suprises.

Ugg and Uggish Boots are still in vogue round these parts. Take it from Kctmoap: Boots are Always a bad idea unless You are wearing Snowboots in a Snowstorm. Only Valid Option. A Seemingly Simply Rule O' Thumb, that.

Test Question: How would Kctmoap probably feel about so-called "F-Me" Boots?

I had a dream where I met a snobbish, smug, arrogant young man who was very annoying. Turns out he was big on Heavy Metal, and playing in bands of the sort. He asked me how many guitars I had. "Well, 3, technically 4, I guess." and he scoffed. He gave me a rundown of all his Gear, and then talked about all the "Up-and-Coming" Metal bands he had played with, scoffing smugly and snobbishly. I said "Listen, that's fine, you do your thing and I'll do mine. For me, I'm perfectly happy having a Simple Solo Project. Like Burzum." More scoff4ge from his end.

I also had another weird dream where this guy literally physically forced me to drink alcohol. Oh, shit, I thought, now I'm gonna fail my peepee test and go to jail. This was one of those dreams that really seemed real. I was glad to wake up from that one.

@ 117 Days With No Booze, I can safely say that I still have major Mood Swings Without the alcohol.

Taylor Swift is just ridiculous. Although I'd probably like her more if she wore less make-up. You can't disagree that she wears a ludicrous amount of makeup that is just kinda creepy. My main point isn't really regarding her, it's regarding That Guy who really had no business whatsoever wearing a Swastika shirt. EDGY FAIL. Some stupid Hipster J who actually DID (no joke!) come out afterwards and actually said he was trying to strip the symbol of its hateful connotations etc etc etc baurrrrrrrrrrrrrf.

I would blow my brains out if I were born as an Attractive Woman. Because then you'd get too much of the Wrong Kind of attention. And all that Wrong Attention would totally shape'n'Circumscribe your Experience of Life, so that you would be utterly unrelatetoable. It's why I have such a hard time relating to Attractive Women. It's how I achieve some measure of Self'n'other-sabotage.

How much Eye Strain does one Really get when using a Small Netbook? Because I really like the Portability of the Netbook, and its Competitive Price, such that I'm actually seriously considering trading-away the Big Screen for said Value and Portability. I'm hoping there will be a Price Drop after the Holiday Season, as per my wont.

I never said I believe in some kindo' Moral Absolutism. Everybody's got a different "sense of right and wrong." I'm just saying I personally have a Hard Time Relating to someone Who Thinks It's Ok To: (here, insert "questionable behaviour" - probably having to do with exposing one's certain physical anatomy in nonconfidential environments.)

So: Public Goods versus Private Goods. This is a very relevant, topical debate. What I really wanna know is: how do you know when something cannot be Privately, Profitably Produced? Things like Defense and Public Safety are kinda accepted as the golden standard there. Fine. I can dig that.

Something like Health Care, in contrast, is muuuuch more controversial. It's one of those things that Sounds like it Should Be a Public Good, but should it be Really? Other debatable topics would be Education and Postal Service. Apparently UPS and Fedex deliver packages faster, cheeper, and better than the USPS. In my personal experience, that hasn't been the case. I KNOW I've faced situations where it was Much Cheeper to ship a package with USPS rather than UPS. But Am I just Overgeneralizing here? If UPS were to somehow significantly Horn-in on the Envelope Market, would their stamps be cheeper than the Post Offices? Because isn't the Ever-increasing price of Stamps something that alot of people complain about frequently?

Education is a Clusterfuck, and it seems to mainly revolve around Monay and Goddam School Boards. I'll be the first to tell you I am Completely Ignorant of The Public Educational System. I have no idea how to improve it. Do they have classes on this sorta stuff? Like Public Schools 101? Where you can learn about funding and charter schools and educational outcomes and schoolboards and School Admin blabla? I went to a Catholic School, and all I learned was that we had less fancy resources than Some public schools, and we had to pay a rather steep tuition. I didn't really understand it, beyond: private education was supercostly, and the teachers were still being undercompensated, imho.

The knee-jerk reaction round these parts is "BLAME THE [lazy, sense-of-overentitlement] TEACHERS!!!" and their goddam greedy teachers' unions. They are the scapegoat for the Schools being a Clusterfuck. And then the teachers vs the nonteachers have a war-o-words via the newspaper Joe Blow Call-In Editorial Phone Line.

But, see, I wanna think it's a little bit more complicated/nuanced than that.

Sometimes we make things way more complicated than they really are, while we make other things way more simple than they really are. We Fuck it all up, into the opposite of what it needs to be.

I should probably watch "Mr Smith Goes To Washington" already. I have not watched movies in Aeons.

HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS (movie)

It was not my lucky day. The PubLib had only the "FullScreen" version, which, to my mind, is kind of a misnomer. They should just call it The Retarded Version. Also, the disc was so smudged and scratched that it Barely played even after I cleaned the disc. I had to skip the whole first chapter, missing the presumably mood/stage-setting opening titles, to which I was really looking forward. Every couple minutes I had to fast-forward to get past periods of real bad skipping. I skipped through basically the entire finale-monologue with Tom Riddle.

But from what I was able to watch, the movie was thoroughly enjoyable.Thoroughly. Dir Chris Colombus really carried that fun fantasy feel from the first movie. The cast really began to settle comfortably into their roles, becoming more endearing. Kenneth Branagh nailed the character of Gilderoy Lockhart. Branagh is a solid actor and needs to be seen more. Richard Harris was classic, Alan Rickman was Deeelicious. Honestly. They really could not have picked better actors. Even the big no-name guy who plays Hagrid is also incomparable.

And then there's Emma Watson. By the time of this movie she's blindingly, painfully, perfectly beautiful. I had to freeze-frame a couple of times when she was making wonderfully expressive faces: either the teary, doe-eyed look, or the "Smiling Perfect Angel" look. I stand ever firmer behind my affirmation that she is the Most Beautiful Woman Of All Time. I don't Even want to think of the "Experiences" she's "Experiencing" Right Now at Brown University. I would spontaneous combust. I would cease to exist if I simply touched her soft white belly with my fingertip. I never thought I'd get hot for a Celeb, but, it's officially happened.

So yeah. Two Thumbs Up. Good Times. Pop it in and enjoy a quiet night at home on the couch with someone special chrissakes.

Also, this series is building up an incredible, absurd amount of anticipation for the first Substantial Appearance of Voldemort. I have a good feeling Ralph Fiennes will Pwn that role. But I'm not looking forward to Richard Harris dying and them having a new Dumbledore. Richard Harris is awesome. He was a Oldschool alcoholic like Richard Burton.

FANFIC

Note: "KC 'n' K's C" is now

"KC and E's C".

In spite of his manic nerves, Kc was absolutely starving after going to the movie with Emma Watson. He knew it would be "safer" to invite her to coffee, but, he took a leap out of character and threw caution to the winds:
"Listen, Emma, I was gonna ask you if you wanted to go to Starbucks or something, but to tell you the truth, I'm pretty hungry 'n' I was thinking of getting something to eat. If you didn't have anything going on and wanted to come with."
- Goddammit Kc, stop Qualifying yourself to her like a goddam Beta -
"Sure, I'd love to," she said, with a smile that seemed sincere. (Kc had, lamentably, grown not to trust women's smiles.)
"Sweet," Kc blurted dorkily.

He worried about how decisive he'd have to be, when Emma jumped right in with a restaurant suggestion. Kc decisively drove them there. She looked at his SanDisk Sansa 8-gig mp3 player.
"Oh, you like Bob Dylan?"
Kc laughed in nervous disbelief. "Yeah, doesn't everybody? You gotta check out the version of 'Maggie's Farm' on that Denmark show. His band might not be The Band anymore, but they're still white-hot. Somewhat. Heheheheh." And then they enjoyed that song.

They were sitting in a kinda small booth at a nearby Mexican-themed restaurant. Kc struggled vainly not to think of Emma Watson eating a big bean burrito and then farting prim, proper, girly British farts.

"So how's your classes going?" she asked, throwing Kc for a loop. Wasn't he supposed to ask her that? Did she really care how his classes were going, or was she just being polite? For that matter, did he even really care about how her classes were going?

"Pretty well, thanks. Just gettin' A's, you know. These are all kinda intro classes, though, I expect they'll get harder next term."
"Well, maybe you're just good at getting A's," she said, and they continued stupid small talk while Kc tried not to be awkward, and tried to pre-steer the conversation away from his old college days and why all his friends had careers and he didn't.

Whew. Dodged a bullet there!

Kc stuffed his face with chips'n'salsa more than he really should have, and when the server brought their food, he was overenthusiastic:
"Whoo! I'm starving! I love Mexican food! I don't know anyone who doesn't love Mexican food!"
"A little excited, are we?" said Emma Watson with a wry grin.
"Coughem. HRM! Don't mind me, I'm just Off My Meds again."

They enjoyed their meals and Kc tried to talk about anything other than Religion, Politics, or Money. He asked her if she had ever been to Mexico, then realized he didn't have a rejoinder-story, as he'd never really been anywhere. Then he thought of her smiling face, drunk, surrounded by 600 wagging dicks on Spring Break in Cancun. There was no way he could ask any clarifying questions about that. Fortunately, she explained how she had gone on a more-or-less "educational" vacation to Mexico with her family.
"Oh, that's nice. Much better than being around the Rowdy Teens in Cancun uh?"
"Definitely. I don't have any interest in that sort of thing."

Kc was looking at her like she was a winning slot machine.

END FANFIC

I read this great interview with Fenriz the other day in Decibel mag. While even though new Darkthrone albums Bore me to sleep, Fenriz as-a-person is a Ray Of Sunshine. I don't think many people are cool and smart and funny and fun - esPECIally in the Metal Realm - but Fenriz sure is. He's a Spazz, but I attribute that to him quitting drinking. More power to him. Didja know that Fenriz has gotten TWENTY YEARS on the J.O.B.? I almost shat my pants. Fenriz gets up at 6 am every day for the past 20 years and works at the bloody Norwegian Post Office. He knows this helps keep him Really Real. Yes, Fenriz keeps it Really Straightforwardly Real. The interview is also funny because they don't even try to call Nocturno Culto Nocturno Culto any more, they just call him Ted. Because that's his name.

Well. I got up extra early and paid my debt to society AND was able to make it to My J.O.B. well in time to start. Phwew.

Q: How common is it, in the world of "testing", to get a "diluted sample?" How hard-and-fast are the guidelines they give you such as "don't drink more than 8 oz of water in a 3-hour period before the test?" Apparently pretty hard, and pretty fast. I usually drink a healthy 8 cups of water throughout the day, and was infuriated to find that my Thang was Diluted when I went in the evening. Which meant I had to come back in the Am. Not my cuppa. But now it's over with for the week, and I have learned the lesson of blatantly erring on the side of caution. A little more focus on the Prep Work than I would have liked.

I did not have my coffee this am, and only a trifling (haha) amount of Tea. So I'm pretty tired and lalalandy, but I see to be less jumpy and tense. I take that as a net plus. Maybe I'll try to cut back on the Am caffeine. Just maybe. I got a decent amount of stuff on my plate right now. I am grateful I do not have a "Caffeine withdrawal headache."

How "Creepy" is it to Not have a Facebook? Imho I think it's way less creepy to have no Facebook than to have a creepy Facebook. And believe me, I had a pretty Creepy Facebook way back in the Facebook Days. I think the Sibhod more than suffices anyway.

Decent morning. Registered for classes surprisingly easily, didn't drink too much coffee, only have one class today, might get ahead in some HW. Actually got all the sections I wanted.

As per usual, I must complain about my legal punishment wherein you have to break your schedule to "drop" at the extremely inconvenient hours of operation, forcing you to jeopardise your good grades, or, godforbid, your job. My position is that 150% of the effort to rehabilitate oneself comes entirely from within oneself; 150% because The System is actively against rehabilitation and gives you every incentive/temptation to go back to your old lawbreaking ways. So you gotta really want it, and really work for it, because The Man is gunnin' to make you fail and break you.

Is that right? Is that just? Is that ideal? These are the questions posed. Does our Criminal Justice System ever even purport to be a Rehabilitatory System? When a bunch of spineless bleeding-heart barry-lovin' liberals come down on prisons as being "crime schools" and "recidivism enouragers", is that valid? Is it valid to indict an entity for something it never claimed to do? We were never promised a rose garden, in other words. What we can safely say is that the Ideal Punishment System does not work this way, and that it is Good For The American Public when offenders truly change their ways and become positive, contributing Taxpayers, Voters, Employees.

Whatever. I know I'm not gonna Fuck Up. It just seems that the law is leering and hovering and just blatantly Wanting you to fuck up. Or maybe I'm just not thrilled with the attitude of my Official Case Worker. But my opinion doesn't matter, because it's assholes like me who kill innocent people.

Whatever. I'm just in a funny mood and want to get home and pay DQ.

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY (movie)

Pretty Overrated. It should have been a LOT scarier. I thought it was going to be a Lot scarier. There was really only one major scary part, and even that was totally underwhelming. The biggest strength of the movie was how it built tension....but then its biggest weakness was how it never delivered a satisfying payoff for all that suspense. All For Naught! An Epic Ending would have totally redeemed the movie; but, lacking that, the movie can only be marginally "enjoyed" but once. Yeah, the

("SPOILERS")

woman standing next to the bed for 2 hours and the shadow crossing the door and the powdery footprints and the photo in the attic and the demon-voice are effectively creepy the first time you see the movie and think "oh jeez I can't wait until All Hell Breaks Loose at the end!", but when that doesn't happen nearly as intensely as you want it to, it's a Toootal letdown.

I'll probably try watching it alone in a dark room, though. Cause there were idiot troglodyte vacuumheads in the theatre laughing at all the wrong parts.

So I'm not gonna hate on it too much because it wasn't Horrible, and I did enjoy the suspense. I'm just saying they should have used one of the alternate endings like they mentioned on Wikipedia.

Or combined them, and had her throw him at the camera, do the Freaky Face, and THEN wobble back and forth catatonically for a few hours, THEN slit her own throat in front of the camera. With some more Unnatural face'n'body morphing.

(END SPOILERS)

Meh. Not better than "Blair Witch," probably not even better than "Quarantine." ("Quarantine" was surprisingly entertaining.) But still waaaay better than "Drag Me To Hell." I'd watch it again, pref as kind of a "scary movie" for wot a Young Wom(a/e)n I Like'n'Respect could get all heebie-jeebied and get warm on my body. But if I don't Like'n'Respect them, NO SALE.

I think You are smart enough to Glean Between The Lines to Find what "New Ridiculous Criteria" I've just daydreamed-up. L&R, baby, L And R. All day every day.

I go to the movies a lot. It's what I do. If the Law tells me I can't drive to the movie theatre once or twice a week, a lot of tension starts to build up. And I don't have any movies to write about on the Sibhod. Only Movieless Tension. Not good. I will fall to my knees and praise my Atheistic g-d next week when I can start going to movies again. Because honestly. That does cut down on the Narcissism in the Sibhod. It's a win-win.

I will gladly go see a movie I accurately predict is going to be horrible just because "it's something to do for 2 bucks." Honestly. There is Nothing to do around here that does not involve excruciation or self-destruction other than movies and video games and fried chicken and coney dogs and buckets o' pop and paczkis and pierogies and pizza and ice cream and creamy mac'n'cheese and chicken fried steak smothed in sausage gravy and....

Hunting Season is beginning. Hunting, somewhat like Karaoke, is one of those things you absolutely cannot do without Alcohol. Although Karaoke is still more Net Fun.

It's funny how "All Women (r)" think I'm weird because I don't Bone Women. I think it's weird that All Women are getting boned by Huge Ed Hardy T-Shirt-Wearing Douchebags.

I'm also offended by the Stereotype that a Woman cannot possibly be Non-Trifling unless she is also Physically Fugly. That is only a Stereotype, right? Because I would not know.

Apparently "Feminist" has a negative connotation as "stupid dykey fugly bitch", so many women are loath to identify as a "feminist."

So here's a weird, weird dream. I gotta write it down before I forget. A lot of weird stuff happened. I was sitting in my Econ class with the Infamously Evil Econ instructor. One kid on the other side of the room was playing "Limp Bizkit" ish "music" on a portable device at a really loud volume, but the Instructor didn't seem to notice until after a few minutes. Then he called the kid out, and then suddenly, an entire cadre of students began a highly organized, orchestrated, theatrical, almost broadway musicalish, demonstration against the instructor and his hateful ways. Flamboyant "Pirates" swung in on ropes, crashing through the windows of the classroom. They might have had a full-blown song to go with all this. The instructor, needless to say, was not amused. I understood he was noting who was participating in the demonstration - the vast majority of the class - and was going to Fail those people outright. He continued his monotone lecture, paying no attention to their singing, and I kept my head down, trying to listen to him as he went over our homework (which he does not Actually do) with an attractive girl to my left. We seemed to hit it off and at one point, I was trying to pull her jeans off, and I was playing with her genitals, which were right up in my face and didn't really seem to be attached to her body any more. Weieieieieird.

In conclusion:

Drive me to "Antichrist" @ Main Art for 50 cents per mile; I will be able to drive starting this Friday; Talk to your Slutty Friends and get them to be my own personal Whore for 30 minutes; and I'll pay you fuckloads o' monay to get me a decent, real, substantial, Bigboy J.O.B.

Have a nice Sunday/Monday, and remember: successfully doing small acts of kindness, and Brightening the days of those around you, is way better than struggling vainly to do big grandiose, arrogant acts of goodness.

PLEASED TO REAM YOU

2009-11-08T14:05:00.028-05:00

Here's a Lazy Sunday Sibhod. I tend to get Nostalgaic on Sundays. Fair Warning.

I dedicate this Sibhod to someone I know who lives in Hipster Hell, who recently passed their bar exam and has become a full-blown juris dokkktor. That's resume gold right there. Maybe You could use Your new powers to help a Man getta J.O.B. Only "problem" is, he's a convicted criminal, and he requires that the ink be dry on the contract before he incurs the great financial risk of Movin' Out. Of course, he's offering $11,500 as Incentive. That's a pretty good incentive, if I do say so myself.

I don't care if this Sibhod is "just going through the motions". If You get bored, read somebody Else's Blog.

Racism/Defamation Alert: I use the word "Jewrun" twice in this post. But nothing about Blacks, as I can recall.

I like the Lifehouse video (whaddya mean which song) because they look SO INTENSE as they're rocking out, even though they are the least-threatening looking "men" on the planet. Just a bunch of boys at a party school who were too laid-back in their partying approach to Wanna Rush A Frat, and so they save all their intensity for their video clip. Especially the big brown bass player.

So the day off started out pretty good, I woke up at a decent hour (unsettling dreams, though), figured out my classes for next term. But things started coming together to make me cripplingly depressed: I realized how I was gonna take all basically first-year classes, and how stupid I was to waste my ENTIRE Bachelors Degree; I tried doing some Production Prep for the Solo Project which was excruciating and unrewarding and very morale-draining: recording the Solo Project is Not Fun At All. So why even do it? Then I saw something online about "life consequences of a DUI" and I felt like this would prevent me from EVER getting a Good Job and Ever moving out of the Parents' Basement because no-one's ever gonna hire a DUI-convict, so I figured maybe I should just blow my brains out and commit suicide right now; and THEN I saw the name of some "Ideal-Intersection" Woman I knew many lifetimes ago and how she and her Nice Personality were In Law School and not Terribly Perturbed, living a Pretty Straightforwardly Successful and Happy, Professional life in The Big City. Then I thought about me being Lonely and how Some pretty clusterfucky experiences with some pretty Trifling Hoes were still "As Good As It Got" in the Romantic Realm. Like, "Yeah, that totally sucked balls, but I've never matched or exceeded the High I got for a few fleeting moments there. That was As Successful-With-Women as I've ever been, and that will probably remain true for the rest of my godforsaken, unemployable life."

And then I didn't want to do homework or even think about The Solo Project or Goddam Women, I just wanted to listen to "The Last Waltz" by some Band, note the unpleasant incident in the Sibhod, and wonder why these unpleasant thoughts had to strike on my Day Off.

So, Duly Noted. These are all classic, textbook Cognitive Distortions, and it would be best to promptly Rebut them, and then go play DQ8 or read HP.

As "Useless" as my degree is, nothing can take my education away from me, and even if it doesn't really Do anything for me, it absolutely cannot Hurt me.

So what if the classes I'm taking are mainly "Intro." There is a substantial number of Career Changers (i.e. people even Older than me) who are also taking Econ 101 and Acct 101 and Management 101 and Marketing 101 and all that bullcrap. At least I'm taking something rather than nothing.

You can have a DUI conviction and still have a good job. George W Bush has a DUI conviction, hahaha. I'm pretty sure there are even Attorneys-at-law who have DUI convictions. And they don't get automatically disbarred. Or maybe they do. Well, at any rate, GWB went to Yale Business School or something. Ted Kennedy had an even more ridiculous drunk-driving conviction with the Ol' Chappaquiddick. So I guess I could still be a rich, successful politician. I just can't be a truck driver. Or ever travel to Bjoergvin, Norway. Or even Chatham, Ontario.

The Women thing is always the most challenging to rebut because it's never Not been a clusterfuck. All I can do is to continue doing my Thang and Adapting My Approach, and one day I will accomplish some good in this dep't. It was simply to-be-expected, that as a Nontrifling Introvert, I was going to have a little more trouble than Avg in this Dep't anyway. So it just takes a little longer time than for the Avg Joe Blow.

The Band is a totally Shithot Band. I used to have a "Mini-crush" on this one young woman who liked The Band also. Too bad she was total bourge and that was like 5 years ago and Real Women don't like The Band so she wasn't a Real Woman, waaah waaaah waaaah, Explanation for Women(tm): "The Band was the name of A Band including Jaime Robert Robertson and Levon Helm and Rick Danko and Richard Manuel and Garth Hudson, and they first became famous playing as Bob Dylan's Band (see Explanation of Bob Dylan For Women(tm)) then later became a successful band in their own right with such desert-island classic songs as "Makes No Difference" and "Ophelia" and "Up On Cripple Creek" and perhaps most widely-recognized, "The Weight", and they had a festive farewell concert called "The Last Waltz" chronicled in the film of the same name by noted filmmaker Martin Scorsese (see Explanation of blabla) and included special guests such as Bob Dylan, Neil Young, Eric Clapton, Van Morrison, Joni Mitchell, Muddy Waters, et al)"

What Would Dr David D Burns MD Say: That's just nonsense. Plenty of Real Women like The Band. Like ummm. Jane Smith. And Jane Doooeeear. And...BarrrrBraa BilllllingsWorth.

It's kinda sad how everything on the Sibhod is just "Women Women Women Women Women". But it's not really that sad. It's just the way it is. I am fascinated with "Women Women Women Women Women" exactly because "WWWWW" seem so strange and alien and curious and different and fascinating. There were few choice minutes in life where it was actually fun to hang out with Them(r) and/or more. So yeah. I guess it's a Little bit sad, but let's not blow it out of proportion!

Fuck this noise. I'm gonna stop writing right now and lay the hell down.

So I was having a notsogreat day on my day off, just thinking circularly, as I unfortunately sometimes do. The best thing I could do was to Stop the circle and lay down and take a nap after playing some Dragon Quest. The nap did wonders for my mood, although I think I was having violent nightmares during it, complete with me thrashing about in my bed and perhaps even shouting in my sleep. WTFFFF?

Then, at night, I had a terrifying, vivid, hard to wakeupfrom nightmare where my family was being attacked by superpowerful zombies and we were just waiting helplessly for mad zombies to come kill us. THEYYYY'RE BAAAACK!!!!

But somehow I still came out somewhat well-rested, so the sleep did its job in the end.

We cannot be superhuman because we're all just simply regular humans. So what if you're not exactly where you want to be at age 2X. Sometimes just passing the interview and getting any goddam shitscrubbing job is good enough for the time being, and this should certainly not count against one for allegedly "not living up to some [bullshit imaginary] ideal". We must call bullshit where we see it.

This is where I lash out - violently - Against All Women(tm) for demanding an Unreasonable Amount of Success: "Hey! I still have ambition for results! I want results! But don't you [all(tm)] realize you've got to try and fail for a while before you finally try and Succeed in Getting Results?!"

Waaah, waaah, waaah. Adapt Or Sodini!

People are weird, weird weird. Like this guy that shot up Ft Hood. This is interesting for several reasons: He was an Evil Muslim; He was somewhat High Up on the chain of command; He was a Psychiatrist, M.D., high-achieving, 100 years of medical school. AND, finally, he did not do the Suicide Finish like 99.99999% of spree-shooters do. He's still alive. Put all that in your pipe and smoke it.

Not yr typical garden-variety spree-shooter, in other words.

Anyway. Today is better because I'm working like a Bigboy, gettin' paid.

How hard would it be to get You to agree with me that the following behaviours are pretty high-up on the list of "Most Antisocial Activities":

1. Spree-shooting (really, any kind of murder. But especially spree-shooting.)

2. Rape. (Spree-Raping, of course, would be included as a more intense variant of "Rape".)

3. Suicide.

4. Incest.

We'll stick with those for now; to keep it simple. Would you agree that these things are at least somewhat antisocial?

My question is: To what degree - and in what ways - are these SuperTaboos "Constructed/Nurtured/Environmented/Learned"? Because isn't there some tribal preindustrial society who encourages men to butt-bang their sons and everybody is kewl with that? (But, see, that isn't direct, open Violence, see. Apparently it's supposed to be pretty tender and loving. Take your son out to a nice, romantic candlelit dinner before you Lick'n'Bugger his butthole.)

In other words, Rape and Spree-Shooting are only bad because Society and the Liberal Jewrun Media tell us it's bad. If we grew up In A World where these things were the norm, we'd accept it. But aren't they kinda the norm already? No, because people still think they're bad. And they still blink eyes over them.

And it is understandable how mass murder might be considered a universal moral Wrong. I certainly would think so, and thus I would never actually do it.

My point is, I don't think it's that shameful for you to simply entertain the notion iff you have no intention of actually going through with it. Which is why I'm not so shocked by spree-shootings. This is a Natural Human Instinct. We all get it whether we'd ever admit it. Morally, Socially, though, he clearly should have resisted his temptation. Maybe it was Teh Medz.

Didja hear about the young man who dressed up as A BREATHALYZER for Halloween and was then given a DUI for driving with a .15? He's now remorseful for his crime and worries that it may prevent him from reaching his CollegeCareer Goals of becoming A Nurse. Which, actually, it probably will. Nothing left for him but construction, landscaping, restaurants, and more DUIs, I guess. Wonder what kinda Women he's gonna pull for the rest of his pointless, useless, meaningless life.

Mark Your Calendars. On Nov 19 I'm gonna be a Once Again Legally Licensed-to-Drive Maniac. I am going str8 to the movie theatre to see "Antichrist" and "Paranormal Activity." Be there!

I was walking around thinking, like I often do, when I had a Light Bulb Moment: Do You know who actually gets hookers? Ugly Old Men! When you're a decent-looking Young Man, you have absolutely no need for hookers! You just use average, young, attractive trogettes for Your Needs! NSA Hook-Up Action! You only have to switch to Hookers when you're Old and Wrinkled and Fat and Flabby and Nasty!

So here is another Call to my Loyal Readerdom: please put me in contact with those people you know who are just simply "kinda slutty." "Gives it up real easy." I want to "talk" to them. But seriously. It would be really straightforward and really real and economical and ulterior-motive free, and maybe even a little fun. I would use 100% solid protection and I would absolutely never call them or godforbid want to hang out with them. Fuck no. Just slam bam thank ya ma'am, with no complications whatsoever. And then afterwards, they could go to the mall and hoot and chortle and wheeze and mouth-breathe and scratch themselves and buy $1,000 AssJeans and $2,000 Invisible Thongs, and I could sit proudly alone in peaceful solitude in my room playing Dragon Quest, so happy I'm not at the mall. You know this is not a bad idea.

So: Send me your Sluts. I'm being serious here. I'm gonna put this in the "Classifieds" at the end of Every Sibhod until it actually happens. And then I will write about it. Note: because this is intended to be a win-win situation, I won't even verbally abuse the Slut(s) on the Sibhod. I don't verbally abuse people who do me favours. Come On. Unethical. I would be friendly, accommodating, and noncreepy (within reason) before, during and after the actual casual sex act. Come on. It's not as bad as being Raped. Unless, of course You like that kind of thing. I can be a Real Hard Man, too.

I printed out the Top 100 of Fortune 500 Companies. Gonna get me a J.O.B. with Rite Aid Corporate, baby. Unless they refuse to hire Convicted Criminals.

If I ran a High School, I would design the curriculum so that every class prepared the students to Succeed in the Real World after graduation. Trimming the fat. There would be nothing useless in there. No Art. No English. No "Humanities." Just Hard Sciences, Math, Engineering, and Business. And Writing. You need to know how to write. But you don't need stupid fucking Fagriel Fartcia Fartgquez and Faglan Fagndera and Fagve Faggers to teach you how to write. There'd also be some stuff there on how to Communicate Effectively and Manipulate People, and maybe even some Dating and Intimate Relationships classes as well. Just simply teach the kids everything they need to know to Succeed In Life, and put them on a Straightforward Path to Success. Maybe some Personal Finance and Health classes, why not; we want people to be financially and physically healthy. And another class to teach Trogs not to breed Troglets they can't raise up to be productive members of Society.

It just seems like too much trouble to get an old-ass obsolete system like the N64 or Gamecube or the Ps1. But there are some great games there. They should make the newest systems 100% backwards-compatible. Doesn't Wii and/or XBoxlive do something like that, where you can download "ports" of the older generations of games?

Yeah, you can of course download ROMs for your computer and play Final Fantasy 3 and Chrono Trigger and all that shit, but sometimes getting the ROMs to play just does not work. It's a pain in the fucking ass. Can't You just play Final Fantasy 3 and Dragon Warrior 3 on your godsdamn XBox360, maybe with some more-colourful-than-8bit graphics?

Is the game "The Sims" any good? For the Ps2 I would pry be getting the Sims 2. But I won't if it supposedly sucks total balls.

Okay, I guess you cannot compare Suicide to Spree-Murder and Rape, because the violence of Suicide is not Other/Outwardly-Targeted. If I had to take anything off that list, it would hence be Suicide. And Incest. (Incest never really belonged there in the first place.) (Although these things are still pretty damned Taboo, though, you must agree.)

The strongest argument against suicide is that it makes things notoriously unpleasant for the "Survivors" of suicide - i.e., the family and friends of the suicide. The suicider causes them tremendous psychological/emotional Violence, if You will.

Of course, I like making jokes out of all these Supertaboo Topics. Imagine, if you will, the Biggest Loser On The Planet. A Privileged White Narcissistic Pitiful Attention-Seeker. He uses Twitter or a Bulletin or something to message all his friends: "Hello all my friends, just wanted to let you kow, I'm pry going to End It All. Here are my [valid] reasons for wanting to do so:

1. My life is going nowhere and I am helpless to change it

2. that is discouraging

3. I'm too pathetic and gay and weak and lame and beta for the Attractive Gender to like me blablalbablablabla"

And he expects everyone to be all worried, like "NOOOO! Give life a chance! Call a crisis line! Get professional help!"

But instead, there's largely No Response Whatsoever, and the few responses he does get are dispassionately, straightforwardly suicide-enouraging: "Yeah, you do present a rational, valid case for suicide. It sounds like you've thought this through thoroughly, so, suicide does sound like it'd be a good decision for you. Good luck, and good-bye."

And in the end he kills himself. Or tries to kill himself but fails miserably like that one kid who shot himself in the face with a shotgun because he thought Judas Priest told him to, so he was nightmarishly hideous, and then ended up eventually successfully blowing his brains out with the shotgun several years later.

Great sketch comedy here. Waaaay too "Edgy" for the Edgy Educated Hipsters.

Tangent: iMean: The Judas Priest kid looks exactly like you'd imagine a guy who shot himself in the face with a shotgun would look. Except worse. It's kind of like that infamous "NoFace" guy who used to wander around AnnArb/Ypsi. I won't even post a picture of the kid's face because even I don't want to make that much light of it. Although I'd recommend you look him up if you're at all curious. Google James Vance judas priest reno nevada suicide etc.

You have GOT to see that movie "Dream Deceivers." A pretty good doc on that case. I'm surprised it's not more Hyped-Up. They used to play it on IFC all the time way back in the day. It's semiironic, because Judas Priest is the Least "Depressive/Suicidal" Heavy Metal band as it gets; in fact, they're rather Uplifting. And you don't see people sueing openly-suicide-worshipping bands like Shining. Wot gives?

I have to say really douchebaggy assholish things because I don't have a big enough body to be a Physically Imposing Douchebag/Asshole.

I ate some Olga's Kitchen. It was the worlds biggest ripoff. I paid 9 dollars for an "Olga's Original" which I ate in three bites. It was a decent sandwich, albeit ridiculously overpriced. I might as well have just went to zingerman's or something. (to be fair, this 9 dollars included the tip I gave to the person for "curbside pickup", but still. If I get hosed on food like this, I tend to just sigh, promise never to do it again, and I leave it Off the spreadsheet. If you put stuff like this on the spreadsheet it gets too discouraging to keep doing the spreadsheet.

I've got to wonder Why I dislike socializing so much. I'll make small talk for a few minutes, but a few minutes is enough for me. Maybe it could be that, being a Classic Introvert, I just don't Want a Lot of friends, and however many I have already is enough for me. Strangely enough, though, there's still definitely A Want for Non-Platonic Lady-Companionship, though. Is that even a valid Want to have in this day and age? Or am I just that Socially Conservative?

Today was a beautiful day. Probably the last Real Nice day of the year. There was a Veterinary Student Fair at the school, and they had some animal-related stuff going on. The most exciting thing for me was, they set up a little pen with some llamas. I well got-off on the Llamas. They were my kind of animal. They're about as retarded as dogs or cows, but they are friendly, fluffy, and chillaxed. (I do like cats, but I am not a Cat Obsessor. I am annoyed by Cat Obsessors, and I am annoyed when cats [often] act like Assholes.) But I do like Doglike Cats, i.e., Friendly and Cuddly Cats.

You might suggest that I get a Pet to take the edge off The Loneliness, like they suggest for those Seniors at the Threshold Of Death; but the fact is, I don't want the responsibility and cost of taking care of an animal right now. That would annihilate the spreadsheet. But I could totally see myself getting a pet someday when I'm more financially stable. If Convicted Criminals can ever get financially stable, and get a good job and a nice pet.

Well, at least now that I'm a Convicted Criminal, I am a total Fur Magnet for Libraryey Women.

My point before I went-off on that tangent (I've been going-off on a lot of tangents lately) was that the Llamas were pretty chill. Stupid, but chill. As long as they don't bite me and ruin all my clothes, I'm fine with them being Stupid. Owning and taking Care of a Llama, though, would incur untold Costs.

My stupid local Journal Register newspaper ran this story in the "US" section the other day about a man in SC who was convicted of boning a Horse. "Buggery", they called it, not "bestiality." Either way, he had been caught doing it once before, and then the horse's owner set up surveillance cameras and caught him in the act this time. Apparently the horse had got some kind of infection as a result. Apparently the case was the cause of a considerable amount of local ridicule, because bestiality is always funny. Kind of a sad story, though. Both for the horse and the man caught buggering it. Because you could tell that he really did care for the horse. But his physical love for the horse was deemed illegal. I'm guessing he probably would have Bought a horse of his Own to Own, Bone'n'Luv, but he was personally rather financially disadvantaged.

Neil Y and Crazy H's "Live At The Fillmore 1970" (sorta recently officially-released from Neil's "Vaults") is an outstanding live record, especially for anyone who has the slightest bit of nostalgia for their classic Desert Island Album "Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere." That album Darn Near defined an entire era in my life, and Fillmore is like listening to Part 2.0. The instruments sound almost exactly the same, except "live-er". The Talbot/Molina rhythm section is even more ridiculous than that studio album suggested. Danny Whitten was at his pre-heroin best. There has never been, nor will there ever be another album like "Nowhere", and this live show perfectly captures Crazy Horse when they were at the peak of That Special, Once-in-A-Lifetime Sound.

Also, "Dragon Quest VIII" has an outstanding soundtrack, composed by Koichi Sugiyama. The beauty part is, it's performed by some Philharmonic Symphony Orchestra. So it's got that whole sound going on. Phat brass and strings, bro. It's not very "experimental" or "abstract" or "out-there", but it is great, catchy times.

Initial reports of the D-town showing of Bob Dylan And His Band indicate that the show was Solid, but there were no "Surprises." I'm expected Dylannl will have it up within a few days for all Y'all who missed the actual show.

My new thing is gonna be looking for Decent Van Morrison Shows. Van Morrison was even more serious a Lover than he was of a Singer.

Classifieds:

"Antichrist" starts on Friday at Royal Oak, drive me and make 20c per mile.
Make over ten thousand US Dollars to Put In A Good Word For Me and get my Foot In The Door at your Company.
Talk to Your "Easy/Experimental" friends/relatives about the possibility of some Dramaless Fun with the Incomparable Kctmoap. Win Win. Everybody Benefits.

Have a nice Sunday, Monday, etc.

"GET UP OFF YO FAT ASS AN' LOSE SOME GOT DAMN WEIGHT!"

2009-11-04T15:40:00.012-05:00

Good evening to all my Readers. I hope You are not getting hosed. Today we have "on tap" ("Ugh") nothing less than Classic Sibhod. I dedicate this post to this old friend of mine who I recently saw for the first time in forever, on the occasion of his birthday.

We all everybody knows I'm a huge stalker/creeper and that if You have a Secret Blog, chances are, I'm feeding'n'reading it. I'm real good at finding people on The Internet. Especially people I probably shouldn't be finding.

Anyway I was reading old posts on a blog of a person, whith whom I was never more than acquaintance-of-an-acquaintance - whose blog I have absolutely no business whatsoever reading. I mean really. I'd be better off reading a complete stranger's blog. But I never actually Disliked the person, and I've found myself liking their writing. Voicing the privileged white voice of the postUniv privileged white narcissist trying to "figure things out" and get along in the "big blue world".

So my point is that they are a decent writer, and there are some good concepts there, and myself being a privileged postuniv white narcissist, I could relate to some of the stuff. Not all of the stuff, mind, but more stuff than I would relate to with the Average Joe Blow. NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THE AVG JOE BLOW.

But really. Blogs are how I interact with the world because I don't really Go Out And Socialize.

I actually went out and "socialized" the other night. I didn't want to. I wanted to sit at home and play Dragon Quest 8 and go to bed at 10. So instead I was dragged to bars, where I drank diet cokes, smoked cigarettes, yawned, and tried not to blow my brains out. It boggles my mind how anyone ever thinks it's a good idea to meet members of "The attractive gender" at a bar.

We went to some bad bad bars, though. This one place the waitresses are instructed to dress like "sluts" with tiny skirts and tits hanging out and such. Absolutely it's trashy and sketchy and shady and filled with misogynists, and absolutely the Sluttishly-Dressed Waitresses pump big tips outta them. The girls are Fit - conventionally attractive - sure, but I have no enthusiasm for that whatsoever. I'd rather watch a Sports Game. And I don't like sports either. The whole time I smoked cigarettes and thought of DQ8.

Finally we ended up at this pool hall/bar where the Social Butterfly (who happened also to be a physically large and probably intimidating-looking Black Man) in our party made an overture to some young women, that we would join them in a few minutes at their pool table. Hard to tell, visually, what Subculture the girls were. Not hipster, not Scenester, not Overly trifling, just str8 up east side communitycollege girls. Hoodies and plaid shirts. Not Altogether unattractive. One girl started talking about how she had spent $600 on her boyfriend for Sweetest Day presents and he had not gotten her Anything, not even a Phone Call. This was "ironclad confirmation" of our prediction that All Women (r) love guys who don't treat them too great.

But really. If you go only to trashy bars and deal only with Immature Insecure Trifling Hoes, then yes, it might seem that way.

Not that the girls were altogether Trifling Hoes. They were young'n'immature more than anything. Something like 19 years old. And here were are, not a one of us under 26. God O Mighty.

The other guys started getting a little out of hand, then the girls (understandably) got a little more annoying in response, and I, sober as a judge, was just trying to Keep It Really Real, which entailed me trying to make everything less awkward by talking to myself and laughing awkwardly.

The girls were not My Type (dykey, bookish, libraryey, mousey, harelipped, web-footed prudes), but I didn't Hate them per se. I simply have no desire to talk to People in bars, let alone go to bars in the first place. This is what happens when you're an Introvert who is proud to be Too Weird to be part of any Subculture. I generally find people annoying to begin with. Unless they're one of the Friendlies I interact with On The Job.

But at A Bar?

Point is, I really got Roped into that one. This is when you know you need to be more Assertive about what you want and what you don't want.

I bought a dvd of "Buffalo 66" off ebay for $5.50, including shipping. Not bad uh?

I've been really digging those [Bob] Dylan shows lately. Which would make it kind of sucky if not a soul on earth wanted to drive me down there on Friday. I recommend the 2000 Show from Horsens, Denmark: Great setlist, great sound, AND you get that "It Factor" of the "Electricity" of a great show: the fans are loving it, and Bob Dylan And His Band seem to be feeding off that.

It's probably a bad idea to try to use playing "Tangled Up In Blue" as a way to Seduce women into Make-Out Land, uh? Have no fear, because I also recently learned to play "Stemmen Fra Taarnet" by BURZUM, which is clearly the better choice.

New Katatonia album. Just came out. Hadn't heard. So I pir8ed it. Sounds pretty decent, but I don't think anything will ever be the same as first hearing "Last Fair Deal Gone Down" in 2001.

"Shadow of the Colossus" is ....interesting. I'm fosho gonna get my 8 dollars' worth out of it, mind, but, some of those colossi are excruciating. Frustrating. The game looks like a dream, though. Very cinematic. Uncanny. You can just be running your horse through the land and just sit there admiring what you see. Terrence Malick, yeah yeah yeah.

19 days till I can drive again. I am going to be Living at the movie theatre.

Contrary to popular belief, I don't really hate EVERYBODY. I just hate people who like going out to BARS. I will never go to another bar ever again for the rest of my life. Bars can suck cocks in hell.

Privileged White Narcissist: "Wah wah waaah, why can't I be interested in /attracted to more people, why can't I like anyone, why can't anyone I like ever like me in return, why can't I get a Bigboy job, waaah waaaah waaah."

I'm gonna play DQ8 and listen to Bob D Live @ Horsens. That's a damn good Cure for The SadSads if there ever was one.

Hehheh. HORsens.

So yeah. I don't have A Thing against narcissistic bloggers. I'm one meself, how could I dislike them. Unless they're patently Bad Writers.

I sat there trying to identify my "scene:" I don't like hipsters, I don't like Scenesters, I don't like Cool Kids, I sure as hell don't like Avg White Trogs, I don't like people who go to bars; then I recalled that at one point I did sorta like going to bars. But it was for drinking "cheap" beer and definitely not for mingling with Potential New People. Hell no. Drink Lotsa "Cheap" Beer, get Drunk(r), play pool and darts with real, established Frynds, and get drunk enough to play ridiculous songs on the jukebox (i.e., gladly paying a dollar to download a 3-minute At The Gates song.)

But dem days is gone. Long gone. Somewhere along the timeline, it MrHyded into "sneak bottles of Rich'n'Rare into the bathroom stall and get ridiculously illegally drunk at bars because there's just too many people here and I'm too retarded to realize I don't like this bar and should have just stayed home." And doze days - I am glad to say - is gone also.

Let's get one thing straight. You don't just fall into a PhD. You don't back into it on accident. Especially not at a "good" school. You gotta eat live breathe that stuff. Obsession. That's why I never got a PhD, because I'm just not Obsessed about any Academic Subjects. I need a career I can "fall into." Because I know what I don't like - many things - and the things I do like do not translate into a career (see previous posts) : playing video games, blogging, making out with mouses. If they had PhDs in that, I'd be S.G.T.

Well, become a video game programmer/designer, you say. That's actually not a half-bad idea, but I should have started off by getting a BS in software or engineering or something. No fuck. I took one class of "computer programming" in high school and it sucked big ones. Although maybe, maybe, I might give it a second chance. As per the stoking of The IT Career.

There was this one person who classically said, "Is A Chicken A Bird?" Well, to that I say, "Is Video Game Design IT?"

Probably not.

I still haven't ruled out becoming a buddhist monk. Or even a Catholic Priest, for that matter.

Stereotypes stereotypes stereotypes. I think some people are more inclined to form stereotypes and think in terms of stereotypes, and I just happen to be one of those people. So I must take that extra step, when I see someone doing something semistereotypical, to remind myself, "Just because one person did one thing once does not mean that all people always do this all the time." Like "Mainstream Ultimate Fighting Trogs" making Mousey girls swoon.

Big F'n deal. Fighting is cool. I like starting shit and beating the shit out of douchebags. It makes me feel good.

I like putting off my homework that's due the next day so I can play Dragon Quest8, which I can play at anytime, because playing DQ8 is simply way more rewarding. Every time I try to do homework "Early" or "get ahead", I say, fuckit. It's just not worth it. This stuff is not Software "Engineering" anyway, and I'd much rather play DQ8.

DQ8's world is a beautiful world. The mountains, the oceans, the blue skies, the green fields. It's all very easy to look at.

For some reason I romanticize Scandinavia as a Beautiful world. I'd totally luv an RPG that took place in a world like that. Maybe I just wish I was Young Varg Vikernes running around in Bjoergvin, because right now, the outdoors is excruciating and I'd much rather play video games and look at that version of The Outdoors.

Yeah, I'm way too old and wise and mature to do a Screed Against Suburbia. I'm grateful to have a roof over my head, food on my plate, clothing, etc.

Fine. I'm just mad I don't make enough money to send my Hooker Fund skyrocketing. Not that I've ever met a hooker I liked.

Fine Fine. I'm just mad that even though we live in a chauvinistic society, you still can't go rampaging around tearing women's clothes off like in dreams. Maybe I should just make a video game re that. Set in the scenic world of Bjoergvin, of course.

Gotta love Manic Mondays. The theme of mondays is total mania.

So there's this sorrowful king in DragonQuest8 who has become my favourite video game character. He was a wise, just, competent, and well-loved king. Kind and smart and generally perfick. And his wife the Queen was just as perfect as he was, and they both enjoyed a mutual and egalitarian love affair with eachother. [I don't know if it was monogamous, but that's irrelevant; they were 50.1% satisfied with whatever their arrangement was.]

But then his wife died and he went off the deep end. Totally and inappropriately Consumed by grief. For the past two years. He made everyone in the kingdom wear black (mourning), and now he refuses to speak to visitors. He refuses to do absolutely anything except sit in his bedroom all day (refusing to eat his favourite meals, no less), and then, at night, he comes down to The Throne Room, where he throws himself in a heap at the foot of the throne, sobbing loud enough for the whole kingdom to hear. You try and talk to him and all he ever says is how his life is ruined and he misses his dead wife and and can't live without her and his Reign means nothing to him.

EASY THERE BUDDY. Ever heard of Plenty Of Fish? This guy has got OneItis, Baaad. You think she'd be carrying on like a huge beta baby if he was the one who died?

I'm a bit uncomfortable how Troggy, "Inappropriate" Women's Fashion has co-opted Women's Cancer Solidarity. That's what all this "PINK" stuff is about, pink ribbons, right? Or do all these 19-year-old women just have Cancer of their Fat Asses? It's an odd Juxtaposition of Symbols, when a "GirlsGoneWild" type Woman is wearing a supertight t-shirt saying "Support The Tatas." I don't get it. Wear a fucking potatoe sack and donate the money you would have spent on asspants to cancer research, BITCH.

Technically, I did make good on my Challenge to not talk about gender in a non-PC way for a week.

Libraries are the closest thing I have to a scene. I really should try to get into library school. What made things even more interesting is that we had a MLS student from the local univ library program doing some field work practicum type stuff. She was about my age, prob younger, and was pretty and somewhat stereotypically libraryschoolgirlish. That's a stereotype I don't really mind. I should have pry tried to get her number, but I wasn't feeling too social.

How wrong and ungodly and unnatural and moral event horizon-crossing would it be for me to combine my interest in Libraries With my interest in Capitalistic Business Entrepreneuriship, by Opening a Free-but-unfair Market For-Profit Library, essentially, transforming the library from a Public Good into a Private one, and then make loads o' money as a Librarian and then seduce tons o' [subconsciously menwithmoney-hungry] mousey librarygirls? Privatization? But I think I'm not really grasping the concept of "Public" goods so well.

I like how I start with good ideas and then take them horribly too far. That, and taking positive things and Perverting them.

Should I go to Public Policy School? Are there any non-highly selective Public Policy schools? That's my major problem: all the stuff I'm interested in is way too highly-selective for its own good. "Don't hate the playa, hate the game" as they say. Too many people get off on putting-in effort. What has become of Sloth?

I would like to play DQ8 for at least three hours today. It's real good for the soul. IN A WORLD where much is Soul-Sucking, to bring back That good ol' term.

Things I Hate: people who sell broken stuff on ebay and then you have to sift through all the broken stuff because you're looking for something that's Cheap but actually works.

20 mins of Major Pwnage, F.T.W.

Let me preface this by saying that this is in no way "complaining", because I deserve every punishment I've received. But I had to go in and "drop" urine one day, so I figured get there early so I can get in and get out. When I got there about 10 minutes before opening time, there was a line of about 10 guys waiting outside. Looks like many people had the same idea as I. Several men were talking profanely about their personal situations and how much it sucked that they could not drink, and how long they had left on their probations. Only one guy did I genuinely feel slightly sorry for, as he got a DUI for backing out of his driveway, where another driver hit him, and he blew a .1 . Or maybe it was a .01 and because it was an "accident" then .01 counts as alcohol being a "factor." At any rate, I tend not to really believe much of what some people say, so I didn't feel too bad for him. I just kept my mouth shut, since some people are very readily engaged in enthusiastic conversation. People were standing in line talking about drinking alc and smoking W and then they made jokes about the sign that said we were being audio/video recorded. 99.99% of people there looked at least slighty visibly "rough around the edges".

So when I was called to go "drop" (cringe), I was very frustrated to find out I could not produce. I'm a generally "bladder-nervous" type to begin with, and even though the huge black staff-man that often stands behind me is extremely nice and professional, having anyone around essentially stacks the deck against me.

So I was apologetic and said "maybe we should turn the faucet on next time" he was like that's fine, we'll try again in 10 minutes and turn the faucet on right away. (I'm one of THOSE guys.) So I waited and the waiting room was packed and one of the queuers was talking obnoxiously and potentially-recidivistically. Finally I went back in, turned the faucet on right away, tried really hard, and again, got only a few drops, and no-where near the 59 mL required. This time I was really frustrated and embarrassed and said "I don't know wot's the deal, could I try again tomorrow morning, because my Colour is permitted to 'drop' tomorrow morning too." And he said that's fine, that's ok, it won't count against you. (Because I would hate to go to jail just because I am bladder-nervous and The Law automatically assumes all you want to do is drink all day. Even if that stereotype is reasonably grounded in Reality, unfortunately.)

Then I drove home, cursing like a drunk sailor and saying all sorts of racist, redneck, troglodytic invective. The last thing I wanted to do was get up earlier and get there at 6:30 am and then have to be Late To Work on top of it all. When I got home and cooled-off for a minute, I decided to try again that same evening, called to make sure that was ok (it was, thank g-d, the staff there has been nothing but extremely nice and courteous, very impressive, etc) and then I drank a bunch of water, said "Balls if it's diluted, I just want to get this over with", jumped around a little bit because I thought that might jiggle some urine into my bladder, then I drove back, resuming my racist, homophobic tirade.

When I got back, the place was empty, which was great. I think having a lot of loud obnoxious people waiting around makes the bladder-nervous less likely to "drop." The staff remained friendly. I prepped myself by essentially trying to pee my pants while standing around. Just to bring it into the fore, if you will. I went into the bathroom with the nice big black man and I produced more than sufficient urine. It was pretty yellow, which my completely unscientific, irrational mind interpreted as being "not especially diluted per se." See, I ate a big salty dinner a few hours before, and I think that may have dehydrated me a little.

So anyway, I'm very glad that's over with, and I hope it's not diluted and I don't go to jail for that. Lesson learned: you gotta sincerely Prepare for the Drop, both mentally and physically, AND...don't get there at 5 o clock when there's a line of Grizzly Men talking about how they love drinking and can't wait to get off probation so they can start Drinking again. Idiots.

Also, I gotta wonder the percentage of people who go in there who are "bladder-shy". Doesn't seem like a lot. The good news is that I used to be way, way worse than I am now. There Is Indeed Hope!

I did not get to play 3 hours of DQ8, more like 1 hour. It felt kinda rushed, but it was better than nothing.

The well-known saying says "Everyone's a Little bit racist". When you're a young student, you are aghast: "Maybe that's true for Racists, but not Me!" But, in my old age, I can be confident and secure in saying, "Yes, perhaps I am a Little Racist." And that's Ok.

Actually not, but WHATEVS. I pee in a room with a huge black man, that's good enough for me.

The 19-year-old Autistic Genius Boy through whom I'm vicariously living has increasingly promising chances of getting into Umich. So I'm real happy for him. He visited the town/univ, which naturally only steeled his resolve.

Not that Ann Arbor Isn't Overrated - which it is - but I'll give it this: compared to anywhere else in Michigan, it's interesting. You cannot get bored. There is more going on in Annarb, more to see, more to do, it's definitely "the best" town in the state.

But therein lies the problem: The Bubble. The "Six Square miles, surrounded by reality" trope. You know. The Smug Bourgeoisness. Don't even make me use the J-Word. In an ideal world, there would not be such a goddam gaping abyssic disconnect between the Writerly Academic World and the rest of the state.

This is not to say I hate Annarb Townies. I've met some great, wonderful, classic Townies. I just want everyone to come from Annarb and "do time" in Warren or Stheights or Clinton Township or Waterford or Livonia or Belleville or Chesterfield or something.

Again, my frustration can all be succinctly summed up in:

"Privileged Narcissistic Little Immature White Boy Rage Over That I Have To Have Social Skills To Get By In Life And Can't Just Go Around Ripping Random Women's Clothes-Off Because I Can't Figure Out How To Get My So-Called 'Needs' Satisfied."

OR,

"I'm So Regretful For The Poor Decisions I Made In My Past. I Could Have And Should Have Done So Much More With My Godforsaken Life."

THE END.

Excuse me while I fetch my revolver.

"But how can you make a joke out of that, Classwar? You're so deep in denial it's not even funny! Now If you don't mind, I'm going to go S Ds!"

Hmm. Looks like you just responded to yourself for me.

But yeah. Whaddyagonnadoaboutit, WHITEY.

Privileged White Alcoholic Narcissist: "I Drink because of the Stress'n'Strain of 'Not Fitting In'/Anomie visavis my immediate environment. If you were me in this time and place, you'd feel like drinking too."

So yeah. I simply pat myself on the back every day I tack on to the Ol' Countup. 111 Right now. The easy thing to do is drink yourself into a stupor. Hell, it's the Rational thing to do. So you do it until you get in trouble for it and are forced not to do it anymore, and then you learn you must never do it again while you are living in this time and place.

There is a young woman with fake blond hair leaning over right by my face with her fat tan ass hanging out her pants. It has been solid for at least 5 to 10 minutes, and I can see it continuing well into the near future. Have some class, ass, or The Alpha will tear your clothes clean-off. She is wearing a jacket featuring the name of a popular local bar which she probably is a waitress at.

Nothing against waitresses. We all work for our money. I simply view it as a way of selling one's patriarchally-attractive body that is only one small step above traditional prostitution.

This bar has a great sunday-night special where you can get absolutely trashed on beer for pennies and then work off your hangover on monday morning. So the place is naturally packed with he-and-she-trogs (prob more hes than shes, it should go without saying), and drunk drivers stream out of the parking lot onto the 10-lane major road and get promptly pulled over by the cops who wait for the drunk-drivers to drunk-drive out of this place.

See, I'd always make sure there were no cops waiting whenever I drunk-drove out of the place. JESU. I am not proud to admit that I was A Part of The Problem.

So, the major point is, don't use alcohol to self-medicate; go to an MD/GP and get legimate medications. Those don't let you Escape your problems, but they May (but absolutely not definitely) help you Face them.

But slim is way better than none, no?

Just hook yourself up to Big IVs of Prozac and Valium and try to hold down a goddam Job, Al. And start a Spreadsheet so you can budget money from that job to pay enough to a[n Attractive, Young] Hooker to let you tear their clothes off like an animal. That is the entirety of the self-help book I've just authored.

25 minutes of News Hits:

Tuesday was a Big Election day. Morning Talk Show Personalities like Jay and Bill and Sarah seem to be optimistic about the revamped Detroit City Council. I cannot really comment, but it does seem like People wanted some New Blood here. And apparently Charles Pugh is a Gay. So that's good for Politics.

In Macomb County the new County Charter was passed. I'm not sure what this means, but to my understanding, it installs a new County Executive (whom detractors call "Czar") and reduces the number of County Commissioners from 26 to 13, which seems to be more widely-applauded than the Czar.

Maybe this is just my Evil Econ Instructor's Unabashed Anti-Gov't Rhetoric somehow sinking in, but my desire to one day run for Public Office is waning.

Steve Martin AND Alec Baldwin have been tapped to host the Oscars. I'm generally favourable, although it's a bit of overkill. Either one or the other would have been fine, although I do look forward to seeing them play off one another. I don't think this has actually ever happened yet. Either way, big improvement over previous years. Who'd they have before? Jimmy FALLON? Cheeeeeeeee-rist.

Men can get away with Gender Role Transgressions better than Women can (googlescholar the goddam article yrself), but, I'd argue, men are less Willing to do so than Women. Or are they? In other words, do you see more tomboyish women than girly men?

Whatever the answer, Gender Roles are Enforced on a Real Practical Everyday level within Relationships themselves. Essentially people are having inner debates: "If I don't act manly/womanly enough, my socially-conservative partner might question my 'straightness', leave me, or beat hell outta me with a stick." Not good, people.

Who came up with the "No White Clothes after Labour Day" Rule? Any rate, I think you should be able to get away with breaking this rule more often than breaking the "No Brown Shoes" rule, which actually makes Common Sense. But, is wearing a white shirt after Labour Day, for example, enough to Disqualify a man from potential suitors? No because every man and every suitor is different. At least the "mature" ones. Although it's kinda funny that I'm demanding "maturity", haha.

Astrology and Horoscopes are Stupid. They are For Personal, Private, Solitary Fun and Amusement Only. When a man ever talks to a woman about astrology (or vice-versa), both should be riddled to death with some kind of riddling-gun.

Oh Vincent Gallo. Buffalo 66 is ridiculously hilarious, while Brown Bunny is ridiculously sad (although B66 does have that huge "bittersweet" element, so you can see where Vince is coming from.) I'm just tired of waiting for that Ass Hole to make another movie already. I really should have just braved the hip artsy kids and saw his stupid artsy band at the Mocad the other year. But I really do cringe at the sound of the word "Mocad."

And why have I still not seen Harmony Korine's "Mister Lonely?" You'd think with all the hubbub about Michael Jackson these days, that movie, with its pivotal Michael Jackson character, might have received a fresh round of hype. But NoOoOo.

There's Nice Guy Good and Nice Guy(tm) Bad, as you all well know: the latter is the bad one - the whiny, white, privileged, narcissistic, passive-aggressive, immature crybaby who feels entitled to Stuff but never, ever Deserves stuff. (See: The difference between Entitlement and Deserving.) The former one, being Good, doesn't have many negative connotations - this is a simply a purely decent, upstanding, ethical, fair, just do-gooder, with no sense of entitlement, and who justly does deserve Stuff.

The hair I'd like to split today is that this kind of NiceGuyGood also, just like NiceGuy(tm)Bad, ALSO does not receive Stuff. Bottom line: you simply have to be a Bad (Evil) Person AND be secure/straightforward in your personal sense of Evil in order to get Stuff.

I can be a huge asshole. Lately I have made great strides in becoming less of a passive-agressive Nice Guy(tm)Bad Asshole and becoming more of a Straightforward, GoodForReceivingStuff[EvenThoughThat'sObviouslyNotRemotelyFairOrJust]Asshole, but the bottom line is, I take pride in being more of a NiceGuyGood (i.e., Straightforwardly Good; saintly) than I am a BadStraightforwardAsshole. So You get the best of all worlds: I can be a Big Dick To Your Face, but, more often than not, I'ma Do The Right Thing. So I'm a Net, 50.1% Good Person. Got it? Bitch?

My point was, being Good1 is just not "good2" enough. (i.e., here, in this sentence, "good2" = "GoodFor[Unjustly]ReceivingStuff while Good1 = A Good Person.)

(I concede, it is difficult not confusing all these Semantics.)

But, In Conclusion, my end point is: you might intially think thit Good is "just not good enough," but, rationally, logically, it really factually is - you're just a Mature Good Man (let me "tm" or "r" that term right now) adrift in a Sea of Immature, Trifling H's. You Arrogant Prick.

Pull strings for me to make 11.5 Grand, drive me to Bob Dylan and Antichrist for 40 cents a mile, Have a nice Hump Day, and don't Suck Dicks.

WELCOME TO THE CHONGLE BABY

2009-10-28T14:00:00.006-04:00

Trying to really "ride the wave" here. Bloggeurs don't choose the blogging lifestyle, it chooses us.

I had a dream last night in which I actually pooped my pants in the dream. Fortunately, I did not poop the bed.

You have not lived until you've gotten "Tea Stomach." This is a unique brand of nausea. Not altogether pleasant, although the reactionary vomit is extremely cathartic.

Holy crap. I just won a dvd of "Stroszek" for a decent price. Whaddya mean you've never heard of "Stroszek"? (Worry not, those "trog-readers" to-whom I'm talking down are merely Hypothetical.)

But Honestly. Between "Stroszek" and "Even Dwarfs Started Small," you've got my two favourite Herzogs right there. Stroszek might even trump EDSS. Weird that there's no Kinski in there, but, c.l.v. . Bruno S's "portrayal" of Stroszek is up there with anything Kinski ever did in the Memorable Roles Hall O Fame.

I like that Stroszek is a "Grower" and seems to get better every time you watch it. Or maybe that's just what I say to myself to try to justify spending $6 on it.

Oh yeah. Another thing about Trifling H's is, they like to go tanning a lot. Parts of their body that should never be tan are very often tan.

Trifling H's also have this cold, clinical, razorbladeish "control" over their emotions that suggests sociopathy. Example: they could give their own mothers cancer, and not lose any sleep over it. And then act like that's completely normal. Just turn everything off. Shut Everything Down.

Yep. Mornings. I need to drink a bucket of coffee, a bucket of tea, eat breakfast, AND wait at least 2 and a half hours before I'm functionally awake. And then 4 hours after that I still wanna take a big nap. I should really see a dr about this.

While Alcoholics will always be My Favourite Addicts, now that I've passed the 100-day Mark, I'm starting to see how they can also be Really Hard To Handle. Unless You're drinking too. Which really means I need to make actual sincere amends to a few people. Well, the "good news" about the "amends step" is that you don't actually have to make amends if doing so would be too damn awkward or counterproductive. As far as my interpretation of the steps goes.

At any rate, I feel bad about exploiting my friends' houses and using them as my own personal flophouse. How do you "make amends" for that?

By keeping to the straight and narrow, I suppose, and that has been working out pretty well.

I should probably get married to David Duchovny. I heard he's an Sex addict too.

Tivo! That's what I need to add to My Spreadsheet!

Big Accounting Exam ("Opportunity") tomorrow. Accounting isn't so much "Hard" as it is "Ridiculous"; and it is kind of impossible to be a Real Good, Inspiring Accounting Teacher. It seems the best you can do is simply have a Good Attitude. This is a rule of thumb that seems to work for most Kinds of Teachers, in fact. If more teachers had good attitudes and weren't Obnoxious Bitches, this world would be a better, and better-educated, place.

Also, my accounting textbook is written/arranged in a fashion that seems deliberately confusing. It's all clown shoes. And the author has like a phd in accounting (!!!) and is Prof Emeritus @ Stanford. No, not Stanford Community College, wiseguy. Yet the book is almost incomprehensible.

"They say" (what is that, a "weasel statement", when you're too lazy to lookup references) that the founding mission of The Community College is to be "The Great Equalizer", and allow low-income, underserved, disadvantaged, nontraditional students a chance at maybe eventually getting a 4-yr degree. But then "they" trot out the statistics that a vast majority of CC Students never end up getting that degree (Or even a 2-year degree, for that matter). And that Administrators are faced with Stone Cold Obvious Truths every day which they do not, or cannot respond to: Re: they cannot supply the increasing number of services (variety/number of courses; educational resources - tutoring, libraries, counseling, etc) demanded by the always-increasing number of students.

I just noticed a book with the delightful name of "Second Best" which suggested that the Real function of CCs was to be a "cooling-down filter", in which students with "upwardly mobile" career/educational goals are molded to become "more realistic", lower their sights, and thus not become a Social Problem. (Like what? Disgruntled, Underemployed Alcoholics? Abusive spouses and fathers? Child molesters?) The book was real old. But it made me think.

I want to get married to some Dumb Cow and have kids with her just so I can then complain about her being Boring and Dumb and finally conclude by saying

"Well, if I hadn't been there to knock 'er up, some complete fuckin' loser would have, so she really didn't do too bad. Because women are idiots and they're just gonna get pregnant anyhow, so the babydaddy ideally better be a decent man."

But it is funny. How all the Loser Girls I went to grade school with, for example, all have several kids now. Even the Fugly Loser Girls. Especially the Fugly Loser girls!

All Women (r) will Just Get Preggers! They Just don't know any better!

But seriously, folks. It's a not-so-complicated, but tragic Intersection of the Socioeconomic and the Personal and the Political and the Education(al Opportunities and Attainment.) Disadvantaged Homes serve as Breeding/Enabling grounds for SocioEconomicEducational Failure, and with no way out, no way to "Break The Cycle." Simple as that. All nurture, no nature, baby, except you can't change the family you're born into without a SuperDecent amount of effort.

I could take a big nap just about every monday. This is a real tuff day to get anything done. One demands absurd amounts of caffeine.

I love overachieving college students that boast about how much caffeine they are able to - nay, they NEED TO - consume. Like this one guy I heard of that regularly drank at least a Gallon of coffee every day. "Sleep is a luxury I don't have time for." GOOD FOR YOU!!

Almost as hilarious are College Students that Vocally Fetishize "Sleeping" or "Napping" by including them in their top 3 interests on Facebook.

Full Disclosure: I clearly fetishize sleeping/napping myself. I just wanted to point out how stupid Facebook is. If you want to be a goddam exhibitionist, don't pussyfoot around. Sext me your ass, OR write a regularly-posted Blog. Don't write a Facebook saying how your Interests include napping.

The real funnyironic thing is, by the time I'm actually able to afford A Hooker, I probably will have Achieved Some Action by Legitimate Means. Jury's still out over whether or not it (LegitMeansAction) would actually be Worth It, though. Would I Have Preferred A Hooker?

Lady Gaga has been a pretty popular topic with The Ladies. Herself being a very visible, rather provocative/controversial Lady. I like Famous Women that really Play with or even Bend Gender and people's expectations therewith. And I like seeing how Female Feminists "Unpack" things versus Nonfeminist Females who might view things as either "kewl" or "wack."

But that's really patronizing on my part, to assume that I'm the Big Educated Feminist and that Normal Trifling Women just don't think about Gender. Don't you think that women - because they are women - pretty much are forced to confront The Idea of Gender? And that I'll never know the experience of Being A Woman, so I cannot put words in their mouths? (refraining from making the obvious "horrible" joke, hahahahaha)

While I was growing up as a Weird Little Boy, I thought it was weird that Boys and Girls were so Damned Different. Because they obviously were. They looked hella different, and they Acted even More different. They were both obnoxious, but in different - "gendered" - ways. As a Misfit Boy, it became clear that Cool Boys were "friends with" Girls, or had "Girlfriends." I had a hard time getting along with anybody, except other Misfit Boys. Interestingly enough, We Misfit Boys didn't get along with the Misfit Girls. We just made fun of them because they were ugly or smelly or fat or had speech impediments or shabby clothes or were ridiculously unjizzonable. It never explicitly occurred to us that Feminine Attractiveness was a Currency, but we sorta felt the effects of not Possessing that currency.

The real bad part is men very often go their whole lives without understanding the dynamics of power and control as per the "valuation" of this "currency." Men don't take the step back and think "wow, it's totally fucked up that Attractive Women are considered a commodity you possess, like money." They just simply say "Dayumn I's mad I ain't gettin hawt enough ass."

At that young age, I was like "Damn. Why can't people be more Straightforward?"

But I'm now paying the Karmic Piper, you see, because I never jumped in to stop the other Misfit Boys from making fun of the Misfit Girls. That little subtelty was completely lost on me at the time. I probably even made fun of these girls a little bit too. (But in my defense, I never really got-off on the same Sadistic Pleasure as some of the other kids. I thought "Dayumn, yeah she's smelly and ugly but do you really have to be THAT mean? You wouldn't like it if YOU were born with that godforsaken body/life!!" But I was too much of a damn coward to say/do anything about it.

So I never liked really girly girls or really manly men.

Not that I'm a Cross-Dresser or anything.

I saw this great episode of Degrassi last night where the semi-frumpy latina girl raised some eyebrows by wearing "low rise" jeans to school with a huge obvious "whale tail" of a thong popping out. This had to be like 7 or 8 years ago when that stuff was actually a controversy. So now it seems reallllly outdated. The best was when she got around the "visible underwear" prohibiton by not wearing any underwear the next day, and when she dropped something on the floor and Stooped Down to pick it up, all the boys in the room leaned over to look at her spanish ass. Literally. The shot was framed so as to emphasize all the boys leaning over. And then the pathetic Nice Guy who was In Oneitis Pedestal Luv with the girl caused a distraction so the other boys did not see the girl's anus.

Come on. Nowadays, We all see 6,000,000 girls' bare asses a day. I used to see 6,000,000 rich jewish girls' bare asses a day when I went to University.

So I really don't see why all the guys were making a big deal out of leaning over, like they'd never seen a girl's arse before, like they weren't getting Assction between class anyway.

So I found the episode really Quaint and Endearing. Nostalgaic days of Innocence kind of thing. Just goes to show ya, "TV Is Not Real Life!"

I'm totally on the Autistic Spectrum. I am An Absolutely Autistic Man. I should just get an official Diagnosis already; it would make explaining things a hell of a lot easier. The thing to remember, though, is that I have have High Functioning Autism, and It's really actually relatively Weak Autism compared to most Austistics I've seen. I took an online test and I fell a little beneath the minimum Autistic cutoff. But still. It's close enough to make a damn difference in the Workaday Real World.

I don't think they prescribe Meds for Autism, because They don't view it as a Disorder. Unless You're Really Low-Functioning.

Hahah. I wonder how All Women actually feel about me always characterizing All Women as Sex-Addicted Sex Maniacs who are utterly controlled by their insatiable Sexual Appetites. Beady-eyed, Lip-Smacking Sex Monsters. Because that sounds just a little bit like Prejudiced Propaganda. OR DOES IT???!!!

Don't They put a lot of people in jail simply because people don't have the money to pay legal/court/related fees associated with restitution, Probation, etc. But aren't jails overcrowded anyway? Or is that just State and Federal Prisons? Listen to the music of the World's Smallest Violin playing for the Poor Overpunished Drunk Drivers. Meh. There's never any winners. "Legal" expenses are only exacerbating my desire to get a Bigboy job, though. Having trouble finding one of those, though.

Might as well just Do The Right Thing and become an Occupational Therapist already. I don't know why I ever sneered at OTs before. There's some nice people there.

Getajob getajob getajobjobjob. If you don't have a job or a good enough job, you're doing something wrong andor you're not trying hard enough. You're not showing enough initiative. The jobs are waiting to be taken by those who want them badly enough. The unemployment rate of 15.3% is a red herring if there ever was one. Those people are simply "in-between jobs" anyway and will soon be employed again. Will You be among them? Or are you gonna sit there and feel sorry for yourself because nobody likes a whiner?

The Tether place had operating hours for like 14 hours a day. The Drug'n'Alcohol Testing facility has operating hours for 5 and a half hours per day. But they have 10 times the number of offices. And probably ten times the number of "clients", because you'd figure that more people are getting tested than getting tethers. I'm just angry on behalf all the first-time offenders who need to miss work andor school in order to drop everything and go get tested. Or who drop a false positive because they used hand sanitizer or were scrubbing shit out of shitters with a cleaning agent that contained alcohol. And then got fired because they had to cut out of work early too many times to go "Drop." I also don't like the term "drop" and don't believe the "legitimacy" of this term should be reinforced by members of The Law.

Waah waah waah. We criminals get what we deserve.

Holy crap. I'm getting so much stuff off ebay that the other day I got 2 things in the mail: Shadow of the Colossus (ps2) and a nice hardcover of "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban." F Yeah!

I was happy to see an old friend I hadn't seen in forever the other day. So I dedicate this Sibhod to him gratefully. So we played some "bowling" and now my arms and legs are sore as hale because apparently my form was not ideal.

I used Flashcards to prepare for my Accounting exam. I feel semi confident. So now I can tell you that the "rate of return on assets" is (Net Income PLUS Interest Expense) over Total Assets. Or is it Average Net Assets. Or is it current assets. I would not really want to be an accountant. But they make pretty good money though.

I'm angry at the world because a bachelors degree in Business Admin is not sufficient to keep young men (and women) from being laid off; is not sufficient in helping them get a new job. So wtf am I doing even LOOKING at a business degree? Good thing I haven't gone too far down this godforsaken path.

When I feel anxious andor lonely, I just take deep breaths and tell myself, "It's alright, Classwar, if You ever get stuck with some Lame Broad, you can always Cheat on her. Don't Commit to Shit!"

Talk about getting ahead of oneself!

Parents who Home-school are Definition usually pretty passionate in their belief that Homeschooling is Superior to Public Schooling; that's why they do it. And then there's controversy that 10 year old kids don't know how to read because their home-school "curriculum" is not regulated/standardized, and kids go off learning whatever they're Interested in.

So I stopped and thought about that awhile. Interest never really entered the picture for me. I always did well in school, but I can remember being there in 1st, 3rd, 4th, 5th grade, saying "this is Laaaaaame." 11th grade, etc. And now I get Those Days where I seem ambitionless, careerless, interestless, and all I want to do is play video games and make-out with dykey prudes and never get a Bigboy Job. Like I just Gave Up at some point long ago.

But that's Disqualifying the Positive, of course. I have plenty of interests: like playing video games and making-out with dykey prudes. Hahahaha. But seriously. I'm a Social Scientist; I'm just passing through a Hard Sciences World.

Watch out! Autistic Man Comin' Through!

Though I'm not sure there's too many Autistic Men who are Not into the Hard Sciences.

Come on now. I might take a Hard Sciences class in the near future! Get up off me!

I gotta really block out an hour or two and tear into Shadow of the Colossus. Especially before God Of War 2 arrives! I gotta take the power back.

My econ instructor is clearly not a happy man. He's almost certainly unhappily unmarried or divorced. He clearly needs some sort of psychological counseling and/or medication. But he's waaaay too goddam stubborn to ever get with that. So he'll just continue being a huge prick. I'd feel more bad for him if he weren't such a huge prick.

What's the easiest-relative-to-most-payingest and most stable Medical Tech career there is?? Radiation? Sure as hell ain't Pharmacy tech. Physical Therapy? OT? Vet tech? Medical Assistant? Clinical Lab Tech? I don't give a shit, as long as it pays. And it stays.

I'm one of those people that just gets mad watching tv. I went off on a ridiculous misogynistic tirade while watching that Jimmy Dean Breakfast Sandwiches commerical where the Low-Energy woman is wearing a big blue rainbow costume: "Oh, Sure, lady! Whine and Bitch And Moan because you love the man's attention and you want him to give you everything for free!"

It's just a goddam Commercial!!!

I seem to do my "best" writing between 7:25am and 7:55 am.

Had the first Real Weird dream in a while. I blame the spicy buffalo wings in the evening. So I was in a room with a lot of young people. I ended up "cuddling" with this beautiful little light-skinned Black girl who looked sort of like Rihanna. She kept getting up and mingling throughout the room and coming back. wtf, I wondered. Apparently I was raging drunk at this time (in the dream) and my parents were there, too, appalled at me being drunk and cuddling with this girl. Turns out, I wasn't actually just cuddling her, I was straight-up BONING her. I only found this out when she got up to mingle again and I first discovered my C slipping out of her body, covered in shiny ooze. "wtf", I thought again. A young man across the room started getting very emo. Apparently this was the girl's "BF" and he was upset that she was "cheating" on him with me. Ok. I ended up boning/cuddling the girl once more, the one and only time I was fully aware of what was really happening. Then she got up and left altogether.

Then a huge scandal started. I walked out the door with my parents and there was a literally Parade of Protesters claiming that I Raped the girl and that I was a Bad Man. Like, many city blocks filled with people with picket signs and such. People booing and jeering and hissing at me as I walked silently behind my mother. We went into this closed room which was some kind of "closed" press conference or maybe a legal deposition, which was the only time I saw the girl again. We were there with our families and Attorneys, and I had to sign some papers. As I was signing, somehow we discovered that I was basically confessing to Rape. So I was kinda getting screwed, because I was admitting to something I didn't do. Let me emphasize that she was being rather enthusiastic and joyful every time she came over to me. There was nothing Rapelike about it.

And then the scandal just got even worse when it came out that I had admitted my "guilt." I remember at one point in the dream I said, "Wouldn't it be great if this was really just a dream and then I woke up, and none of this ever happened?" And then someone else said, "Yeah you wish. There's no way this is not actually happening." But I still had an inkling that it was a dream.

So I was happy that I was right about that. Still, it was a weird-ass fucking dream that I would have preferred not to have.

My ultimate Discussion Question: Can you have a Subconsciously Coerced Initiation? That is to say, can a woman Initiate sex she really doesn't want? Deep down inside? I say yes. But I don't think that counts as Rape, because, as far as both parties are concerned during the act, there is consent. Legal consent at least. This is more an issue of hindsight/regrets than anything.

Did I mention I don't like that the term "drop" is used to indicate "urine test"? Everybody says it: the law, the testers, the paperwork of the testers. Something about it sounds very "street-slang"ish and "criminally stigmatized." Just say "urine test" or "drug test" or "piss test."

Lifelover went ahead and got a real drummer. I think this aids their sound significantly. Nothing against drum machines, but I think they should have really pushed the drum machine to the "danceable" max rather than keeping them so humdrum. Real Drummer Is Better Fit for them.

Got an A on my First Econ exam. Just took an Acct exam the other day and I feel like I got an A on that too.

Since I'm not really "passionate" for career paths per se, my goal right now is to take the Widest Net of classes in the most Diverse Fields and get As in them. I've been doing disproportionately more Biz classes recently, and I would like to step up stuff in "Health Care" (which is broad of course and covers 218 different fields) and "IT" (ditto) and "Engineering" (Ibid.) You know. Useful, Pragmatic, Get-A-Job type stuff.

I should really give my new resume a Floor-Run, too. See how it plays.

Radio Talk show hosts: What do you do when your lady-friend wants to dress like "A Slut" for Halloween?

Do you say, "Well, 'A Slut' is a Patriarchal Slut-Shaming term, sluts don't really factually exist, so go ahead, show the world your J-splatteredness"

(Ok, the obvious mainstream cultural script we're supposed to follow says the man busts out his Pimp Hand. EZ Decision.)

But Me, Mr. Post-Gender, would say,

"Baby, dress however you want. I think it's not-flattering, but if you like the attention of dudes staring at your 'sexy body', that's your choice. That's on you. I could be all controlling but what good would that do. I'm disappointed, though, I'll tell you that, and I was hoping you wouldn't get-off so much on dressing like an obvious trifling Ho. But hey. Looks like were learned a few important things about each other."

And so then I would bone other broads and she would get-off on dressing like a trifling ho, end of story. Probably she'd be disappointed by me not "calling her bluff" and at least making an overture at being upset and controlling, because there should probably be stupid, immature arguments about everything.

I was reading a Body Language book that totally came out and said that Attraction is fundamentally rooted in accentuating the physical gender differences. This signals "Availability." But because I tend to think every woman is a whore, Mere Availability looks like Whorishness to me.

Everybody has their own Subjective Definitions of Whorish-Looking vs Available-Looking. And we could very powerfully argue that many people do not dress significantly differently depending on whether they are available for not. Perhaps this book was written largely to "shift units". Give the masses what they want to read. Which, sometimes, is not entirely rational or even realistic.

Seeing as I like a good challenge, I'ma challenge myself Sibhodinally by taking a "timeout" of at least a week on writing anything Misogynistic: Ironical or otherwise. I might even stay away from dicussing Gender and Stereotypes altogether. Which might make the Sibhod more boring, albeit, much more "Normal." Fact is, I'm not That big of a psychopath IRL.

While somewhat socially engaged with a person who knows my subject material, I made the profound point that "Good Morals Always Trump Stretched Buttholes," i.e., I might talk about Stretched Buttholes all day, but what I actually Look For in my Associates is a good set of morals. Not that stretching your butthole out is in any way Immoral, but, uh, most people who actively Do that activity don't really gel with my idea of ideal morals.

Hmm. That would be an example of me not rising to the Challenge I set for myself two paragraphs above. Ok. Starting Now.

After at least 5 solid years of hand-rolling My Smokes, I've finally Sold Out and got a Machine. A Tubing Machine, mind, which nicely stuffs the tobacco into the "Tube", i.e., Filter+Paper. This creates cigarettes which are both Legit-Looking And Legit-Longer-Lasting. Because I finally got tired of smoking cigarettes that looked like Doobies and which didn't contain the amount of Tobacco I desired. The purchase did not break the bank, and I look forward to Seeing How It Goes.

I Accomplished an Action recently that involved a little bit of "Sacking Up", and I found myself satisfied'n'pleased with the results. So, all-in-all, it's (actually?) been a pretty good week.

Lifelover might be converting me over to the Fan-of-EPs crowd. I guess I lumped EPs into the "trifling, insignificant, why don't you record a whole damn album" category, But... following my current "Everything Is Economical" Tip, it only makes sense that the EP can pack more Music Economy than an LP. Eg, a fully solid EP vs a LP with any "filler". Fuck filler up its stupid ass.

Well I was trying to find a good picture of Stroszek to put here, but all the shit's out there tired and weak.

Have a nice Hump Day, and don't forget about me wanting to give you thousands of dollars worth of money. I think that has been slipping some minds lately. I am also still accepting applications for the upcoming Bob Dylan and Antichrist Events mentioned earlier.

"I'M GONNA PUT MY PEEPEE IN YR PUSSY"!!!

2009-10-25T10:20:00.009-04:00

This Sibhod is simply seat of the pants. Gorilla, Gonzo, Hyperraweal. Welcome to the Chongle, Baby. As such, it may harbour not-yet-fully-realized truths (but still very true nontheless). Take it or leave it. Blogging is Hell, Motherfucker. There's a ridiculous Fanfic today, too.

Whoa. Long ago, I used to get a "black day" today (yesterday) because it is the Birthday of my Ex-Nemesis, but this year the day arrived without me even realizing it. I guess sufficient time has passed, thank christ. Still, it might be a good day to have a good old fashioned misogynistic rant entitled:

"Every Woman I've Ever Known Has Been Nothing But A God Damn Trifling Whore."

Which is not true, of course. But I've been "noticing" a strange "pattern" that has me worried, and I'm trying to disprove a dreadful stereotype: that all "Subjectively Getituptoably, Dateably Attractive" women are, or ultimately become, Trifling Hoes. So what do we do when we start thinking Stereotypically? We Unpack our cognitive Error, and decisively disprove it with Straightforward Rational Thinking!

I know loads o' women who are very nice, very decent, very nontrifling, outstanding human beings who would all be Ideal Relationship Life Partners. Smart, nice, pleasant, nonobnoxious, Gold Hearted, and not even at all hard on the eyes. But because I'm such a OverPrejudiced Cutist (tm) with outrageously unreasonable, irrational, subjective physicalattractiveness standards - plus I have this "intuition" or "radar" or "libido" that Unequivocally decides 100% "yea" or 100% "nay" - I've found it excruciatingly difficult to find that Ideal Intersection of Decent Subjective Physical Attractiveness AND Decent Subjective Personality Nontriflingness.

Difficult, but not impossible, mind: I've met a limited number of Souls who did inhabit that sweet, sweet Intersection, but, for a variety of reasons, which could be summed up under the blankets of "Different Pages" or "Bad Timing" or "They Just Weren't That Into Angry, Ambitionless Alcoholics", It Was Never Meant To Be between myself and said Souls. SuperUnfortunately.

But yeah. It is frustrating. Makes me think something is more wrong than right with my LibidoBrain. That it wants to murder itself on triflingness. But, the very existence of said Rare Souls proves to me that, a couple times per lifetime, the Libido CAN get it right.

For example. I see this young woman sometimes. She's not trifling at all. She's hip to feminist thought on Gender Stereotypes and the like. She's even kind of dykey - never wears makeup or AssJeans, for example - but not actually a Dyke. (I'm hot for dykey-but-straight women, remember.) But that libidinous "It Factor", that "Spark", is not there on my part for her. I would not want to make-out with her, let alone Jizzon her Face. Just like it would make life so much easier if I could wave a magic wand and make myself Gay, so would it be great if I could magically create that "Spark" between myself and her or any of these wonderful, marriageable, nontrifling, perfect, angelic women.

But NooooooooooO. I have to be a stubborn goddam prick with my ridiculous goddam Intersection.

Call of Duty is kinda fun. I'm making progress.

Definition Stereotypical People - Both Men And Women - are Trifling Troglodytes. I did a 180 (well, more like a 90): Men can be trifling too. They do a lot of the same things Trifling Hoes do: go to bars, say/do real obnoxious things, enjoy "partying", can't write to save their lives, etc.

I can understand that people are simply comfortable with Gender Stereotypes. It's something they Know - something Familiar. Which explains why Average People Tend to Gravitate towards those who Ack Stereotypical; but it does Not explain why Stereotypicalness itself seems to unfortunately gravitate towards Trifling Trogginess.

So when the person finally has gotten their rocks off enough and gets to Know the person and discovers there's nothing underneath the Gender Stereotype but solid trog through-and-through, they understandably say "this sucks, I want more."

But people like myself, kctmoap, tend to squick The Attractive Gender right off the bat, never really Getting To first base, because our Gender Stereotype Transgression is Threatening, Scary, and Creepy. This is an unfair/unjust perception. I can live with it, but I'm not in love with it.

So yeah. It should come as no surprise that, historically, I've gotten along real well with Gay Men. There was an interesting post recently at Bitch Blogs which discussed how Male Homosexuality and Bisexuality is a total fist in the face of Stereotypical Masculinity. It's Dangerous and Scary. Especially Bisexuality, because it embodies the "contradiction" that a guy can both want to "bone broads" - THE Definition Heteronormative Masculine Thing-To-Do - AND want to "bone dudes". This causes some great Mental Overload in Stereotypical folks.

Anyway. I used to know some Gay Guys and I got along with them Famously. I still think of them sometimes, and remember them very fondly as Real good Guys. I just hope they weren't secretly thinking about Marrying me. Because that particular man-romance feeling was unrequited. Hopefully I made that clear. I'm pretty sure I did. Anyway, I hope all my favourite Gays are doing well. I need to meet some more Gays to have Mutually-Platonic Friendships with.

Pref not SUPERFlaming Gays, though, because SuperFlaming sometimes converges with StereotypicalFeminineStyleOfTrifling.

For example, one of the Ideal-Intersection "I wanna GoToLunch-With aka Jizz-on" Wimmin has dykey short hair, never wears makeup or ass-jeans, has an air of 0% trifling and 0% outward sexualness, is rather socially awkward, and mysteriously satisfies my "Cutist Prejudice" without being at-all Stereotypically Trifingly Hawt.

But then there's this other woman I sorta wanted to go to lunch with, but she's been sliding down the scale lately as she becomes increasingly Stereotypical Hipster Style. The Chlunky Black Glasses are fine, but the "Hellsapoppin" Red Lipstick is taking it too far. And one day she was wearing a Hip T-Shirt I did not at all like. And then another time she was talking on her phone and had a real annoying/obnoxious voice/conversational style. Trifling Rising.

Hale yeah I'm "picky!" Many would say I'm "too picky"!

Here's two real interesting thoughts I'ma throw atchya:

1. Your sense of Sexuality/Libido is determined not only by your actions, but by your THOUGHTS as well.

2. Seemingly NonSexual thoughts of "companionship, cuddling, or [non]monogamously spanning time" are Indications Of Interest-In-Intimacy. Intimacy Itself is Definition Sexual/Libidinous EVEN IFF it does not involve DirectSex Actions or DirectSex Thoughts. Any kind of Nonplatonic Emotion is Sexual.

In other words, if you regularly daydream about NonSexual Time-Spanning Action or "Hot Make-Out Action" - even if you're Voluntarily Celibate - that indeed makes you an averagely (at least!) Sexual Person.

That isn't simply a "Light Bulb Moment." That's an "I Have Seen The Light" Epiphany!

I'm thinking about applying for Food Stamps. Anyone else gotten down with that? I figure if Uncle Sam can pay for my Meijer Diet Rocky Mist and coffee and tea and cheez-its and salsa, why the hell not?

They've been trotting out all the Sexy Costumes again for Halloween, like everyone wants to dress-up as "Sexy" Something for Halloween. Wrong. Only Trifling People want to do that.

I would Go As somebody pretty predictable, considering Who I Am, such as: House, Tom Waits, Hank Bukowski, Lars von Trier, etc. But I won't, because that would involve going to a Halloween Party, which would in turn involve a lot of people dressing as Sexies and getting drunk. NO THX!!

Still. Just needed to say that all "Sexy" Costumes are for Trifling Hoes and I would never Date a woman who wanted to wear a "Sexy" Costume.

Misogynist "Game" Types like Roissy talk about Shit Tests (tm), which is a valid concept, and an apt and useful term. Yes, All Women do give Shit Tests, but I'd bet men give Shit Tests as well. I don't see any difficulty in passing shit tests; all you do is Call Bullshit when you see it. Not being a person who gives a lot of bullshit - I pride myself on being rather Straightforward - it's challenging for me to put myself in the shoes of someone who regularly does give bullshit. Indeed, the constant-bullshit-giving personality is not one I'd feel'd be a great "fit" for me.

I kinda want to see that newish Jane Campion film about Robert Burns and his lover. I've never met anyone who didn't like Robert Burns. Solid Guy, that Burns.

EMO, BETA FANFIC: "Kc'n'K'sC"

It was a sleepy Saturday night and k.c. and Kay Panabaker were reclining on the couch, surfing channels on the tv. Kay's body felt warm against Kc's. They had not yet boned down hard, even though Kc thought Kay was very pretty and he definitely really wanted to throw it in her; but he preferred to take a month or two and really get comfortable with her, really get to know her. Kay didn't give him a hard time about that, and she said she felt the same way.

"Well, that's a pleasant surprise," Kc joked. "I thought all women liked to spread on the first date."

Kay smiled back at him. "That's only because all men treat us like that's the only thing we're good for."

"So you're saying all men are wrong? That you're actually good for anything? What, you think we Men'd actually want to hang out with a stupid trifling whorish gender like Women? How many Albanians did you let it rip up inside you before it took you to have that big breakthrough?"

"Wow, I can see why you were a real big hit with the ladies," said Kay.

Kc yawned. "Yeah yeah yeah whatever. I'm just too tired to be a huge alpha douchebag tonight. Why can't we just sit here and enjoy each other's company, or is that too much to aaaaaaaaaaaask," he yawned again.

"I would hope not", replied Kay, herself beginning to yawn as she slid down, wrapped her arm around Kc's hairy nonatall-ripped abs, and rested her pretty head on his thorax.

"Yeah, sweet P, sorry to say, but I think we're just gonna have to bone down some other time. "

"Maybe I can find some white space in my calendar next month."

"Hmmmm. That's a pretty big maybe, Kay."

"Well, no one said starting-up one's career was going to be fast and easy."

"I hear ya on that. I'm just thankful you didn't drag me to the godforsaken bar."

"Well, I might have to drag you to church tomorrow morning."

"Not before I drag you into the kitchen and Make You Make Me Breckfuss. And don't hold the Hog."

Kay kissed Kc with no tongue. "I've got more Hog than you know what to do with."

Then they watched an episode of House they had seen 218 times apiece, and this time it was not boring.

END FANFIC

I am glad Saturday is usually a slow day on the job. Man. I'm looking forward to jumping between the not-so-proverbial sheets. Chronic Fatigue Strikes Back. I might have to consult a medical physician about this.

I get tired. Big F'n Deal. I had the day off the other day, whereupon I slept in AND took an afternoon nap AND went to bed kinda early, and I was perfectly satisfied with that.

Lars von Trier's ANTICHRIST opens at the Main Art Theatre Royal Joke on Nov 13. You know you wanna go.

Wow. That weather really is changing. After a bit of "Indian Summer," it's gotten cold and rainy and I can feel the longterm seasonal energy being sucked clean away. As the years go by, I get less and less adaptive towards the long Michigan winters. All the more reason to move to Texas, I guess.

CLASSIFIEDS

Opportunities for Additional Employment/Income:

1. Make 40c per mile and get erm %25 of your ticket price reimbursed (if applicable) if you drive me to see Lars von Trier's ANTICHRIST which drops at Main Art Theatre in R.Joke on Fri Nov 13.

2. Make 40c per mile and get %30 of your ticket reimbursed (if applicable) if you drive me to see Bob Dylan at the Fox on Fri Nov 6.

3. Make $11,500 over a one-year payment plan if you talk to your Superior and get me a Bigboy Job @ yr Company.

Have nice sunday and monday/week.

"HEY BABY, WANNA GET RAPED UP THE SHITTER"?!

2009-10-23T11:20:00.021-04:00

Pretty decent post today, about an 8 I'd say. Points off for no Fanfic but fuggit. Also I wouldn't blame readers for getting bored with the Narcissistic stuff, but, as I always say, my narcissism is less exhibitionistic and vulgar than One sexting photos of his/her come-covered butthole and jizz-splattered asscheeks to a monosyllabic, Ruthless(r)-shirted, bloodthirsty Ultimate Fighting Troggy.

I dedicate this Sibhod a fellow Male Blogger who recently was faced with some valid disappointment'n'stress: I Hear Ya. I Can Relate. Don't Take Shit.

Warning: I use the N-Word and the J-word once apiece in this post. Remember, Loyal Readers, Pure Racism is not "Edgy Hipster Humour".

It can take longer than your entire life to get used to The Real World. For example, in the Real World, people actually listen to and enjoy Country music. Country Radio stations. Red-blooded young girls go berserk over Brad Paisley. Yes they do.

I don't know what it is about those Mondays, but they've been regularly Low-Energy days.

I wouldn't blame you for disliking all my glib, brief statements. It's what passes for "blogging" these days. At least I try to Cram in a bunch of glib, brief statements per twice-weekly post.

The reigning record is held by a blogger who posts one-sentence glib posts at a rate of once every six months. Come on now.

I went ahead and mixed Meijer Diet Rocky Mist with my Cold Semisweet Tea. It was actually not bad. It was just a splash, to give the beverage the slightest bit of carbonation. Likea da tiny bubbles. Good for my overly sensitive stomach.

Still "working on" Lowering My Standards. It's frustratingly difficult. I might just have to cut my losses and conclude that trying to lower my standards is even more excruciating than having ridiculously unreasonable perfectionistic High Standards in the first place. You can't win, what a world.

I wrote a Ruff Draft of my Elevator Speech. Ask me sometime and I'll speak it to you. It's not mindblowing; in fact, I think the whole concept of the elevator speech is stupid, but, somehow, I feel having a shoddy, wristed-off elevator speech is better than having none at all - better than standing there mute in the elevator with decision-making men of power.

So maybe the capitalistic Business World is well-suited to over-the-top Machiavellian / Sun Tzuian Strategies of Power, but I disagree that these strategies should be extrapolated into nonbusiness interpersonal interactions. You know: Crap like "The Game" and "Sociobiology" that insists that every nonfamily relationship must be conducted like a lifelong game of RISK. RISK makes you wish that the remainder of your life was reduced to Right Now. Not a fun game.

You gotta have a Real Great Winning Attitude to merely get by in life. You gotta have a shitload of ambition and a shitload of energy just to escape from your parents' basement. You can't just sorta "skate by" and manage to make enough money unless you Produce Exceptional Results. You gotta bust your ass, you gotta be better than the rest, machine head.

So if you regularly get days where you get Chronically Fatigued, that's hell of working against you. Because you should be be using that time/energy to try to get out of the hole you're in.

For example, there are people out there who are disappointed in me for not living up to my potential. I'm disappointed too. I've been very disappointed for years. And that disappointment has tangibly worked against me and prevented me from making even the Tiniest Steps Forward. But: Right now I am making Forward Momentum, and even though it's slow, I can't accelerate it overnight, and I'm grateful for what I've got.

But anyone who is shaking their heads wondering why I don't "grow up and get a real job already" has to realize thit that thought has crossed my mind so much that it has stopped being effective and started being counterproductive long ago.

So why don't I just go to grad school? Because I'm not a fan of school, and the only reason I would return to school is to get a significant Return On Investment. Meaning I want to get The Cheapest, Easiest-To-Get-Admitted-To-AND-Easiest-To-Graduate, AND Most-Payingest degree there is.

I admire all my friends who are doing Humanities PhDs and the like, but I would blow my brains out in that sitch. I've been on the extended Blow-My-Brains-Out-Watch for several Solid Years anyhow. Law School would do the same thing to me. And would cost even more. And most lawyers are bigtime drinkers, and I cannot keep it Functional when I drink. I get arrested and have to quit cold turkey. So the options are literally cold turkey, or drink myself to Death. No functional alcoholism in my future. Least of all J.D.-receiving, bar-passing, money-making functional alcoholism.

Medical school would be like law school but even harder. There you cannot possibly function as an alcoholic. That's why Medical School takes a Real Special Kind. You have to honestly get off on the stuff and be a full-blown Workaholic. (Chronic Fatigue does not gel well with all that, either.)

So fuck yeah I got issues. Buckets O' Issues that prevent me from leading a Normal Average Life, really: having normal social and "romantic" relationships, having a Career, ever having a Family of my Own. Yeah, that kinda sucks, because, believe it or not, I'm not against the idea of having a Career or even a Family Someday, and I certainly wouldn't mind some Hot Marriage Action. The challenge is to Accept the issues, and to live as well as possible With them. But it's only after some years that I've begun to get the Issues down to a manageable level. Let alone "Normal."

Apparently all the high school kids are having "sex" and they constantly talk about having "sex" and they're all "sexperts" and they take it for granted that everybody has "sex" all day every day and they don't get nervous when they're having "sex" because they have "sex" all the damn time, it's as commonplace as eating a goddamn meal.

Normal people don't feel "dirty" or "slutty" when their partner jizzes on their face. It's just something ordinary that happens, and then you forget about it.

That is so weird to wrap my mind around, because that kind of "normal" is really far from "normal" for me.

I mean, I'll bone broads and jizz-on their faces - it's not like I'm getting any younger - but that doesn't mean I'll be completely at-ease with it.

The real interesting thing is, despite these Huge Issues that make me So Different from Normal People, there's also a Loads O' things about me that are Quite Normal: I have basically the same dreams and goals as anyone: Decent Career, Decent Relationships, Decent Finances, Decent amount of Inner Equanimity. These things are not far-out or unreasonable.

So even though my Voluntary Celibacy is really, really ragingly weird, I'd say there's actually more about me that's normal than weird. When you stop and think about it.

Eh. I've been really, really antisocial lately, and my license restriction is not helping. Eh. That's the price you pay for drunk-driving like a drunk idiot, though. Crippling Social Anxiety and Isolation.

The only "advice" I would ever consciously give to those in despair is: take pills. Take boatloads and dumptrucksful of peels. Eat a prozac the size of a bowling ball for breakfast every day. So what if it turns you into a Zombie. Zombies don't worry about shit or blow their brains out.

No, I'm not taking prozac, but I'd never say on the Sibhod if I were, anyway. I fully support anyone taking prozac and would have no hesitation to take it myself if I really wanted to. I would not feel weird about any of my friends taking it. If they felt they wanted to take it, I would wholeheartedly support their decision. I say, take a near-lethal fuckload of prozac if you think it might have any possible chance of making you even just the slightest bit happier.

I enjoy saying that as unequivocally as possible, because my stance on prozac/psych meds is one of the rare stances on which I've done a total 180 from what I used to say in the past.

Billions of people take prozac. One out of every two people you meet is taking prozac right now*. Barack Obama is taking prozac**. So what if it's a "Corporate Drug." You can get it for 4 bucks a month at walmart. The patent expired years ago.

So if some poor whining bastard is complaining "Waah Waah! Life Is Hard And Unfair!" I actually do get angry when A Responder "advises" them: "No Shit. Get Used to it, Sack Up, and Shut The Fuck Up." I find that "advice" insulting and patronizing. Yes, life is hard and unfair and that does suck, But the difference between me and that patronizing asshole is, I'm gonna show Solidarity with You, and advise you to Mangia 10 pounds of prozac a day. Now That might actually produce some "Results"!

When one is a Failure With Women - not like me, but like this One Guy I Used To Know - one feels that "All Women" are a Monolithic Everest: "Oh. Lookit that. Those Tapout Dbags who like beating the christ out of each other in UFC are Total Fur Magnets, so All Women(r) must tingle for Violence and Violent Men. And I'm not violent. Bonerz."

But the fact is, no one person can validly represent an entire Community, just like A Black does not speak for All Blacks, and I do not speak for All Men. Unfortunately, sometimes we forget this Fact when talking about The Genders, and a Woman will say: "Women like it when Guys do/are this! :) ", as if All Women and All Men were The Same. This does not produce intelligent discourse.

Fact: All people are Individuals, believe it or not.

It was real sad how on the new episode of House, (SPOILER ALERT)

House thought he was going psychotic because he was hearing voices, but it was really Wilson laying in bed talking to the memory of his dead ladyfriend as if she were still there with him. And then House ended up doing the same thing in his own moment of weakness, only he was talking to HIS FATHER WHOOOOAAAAA.

Bottom line: I thought it was a touching, frank and apropos demonstration of Real Painful Grief which I have never seen on TV. Sometimes in real life, people do miss people that bad. Never been there myself, but I can still empathize.

END SPOILER

On Tuesdays and Thursdays I have my "Long Day," I.e., I'm occupied for like 12 hours. Although it's really pry more like 8. Still, energy becomes a real issue. I usually have some French Fries for lunch because they are the cheapest food available; but now I'm suspecting that they might be a "Carb Bomb" which drains my energy in the long run. Makes sense. And now I don't feel like eating the French Fries today. I'd almost rather eat nothing.

What I don't understand is how is it $3 for a burger. You can't get cheap food without driving out of here and losing your parking space. The parking lot is a nightmare because enrollment is increasing because everyone's been losing their jobs and trying to get re-educated. Does this mean that once unemployment gets back to normal (6%), we're going to have more Underemployment because everyone's Overeducated?

These are extremely valid questions I'd like to ask an Educated Economist, but the only one of those I know is such an annoying prick I don't even want to think about him.

Also, how fuzzy is the boundary between "underemployment" and "nonunderemployment"? Another valid question. While all economists agree that "Harvard MBA working as an underpaid admin asst" is underemployed, what about a Walsh MBA working as a Fulltime admin assistant but with meager salary and benefits?" ????

As a Prospective Walsh MBA, I want to know these answers! And then do economists laugh and say hahaha we can't agree on that one but we don't really care and we don't need to answer it because we're well-compensated economics phds bwahahahaha??????

So, in short, I have never had such a disparity between 1.interestingness/importance of the Subject Matter and 2. Excruciation/Horribleness of the instructor. He is truly the most horrible instructor I have ever had: Cruel, bitter, nasty, villainous, sadistic, spiteful, wretched. I want to take the next class but I have valid reason to believe he will be "teaching" it, which makes me seriously not want to take it. wtfffffff.

And the stupid instructor probably wouldn't answer my valid question about underemployment, he'd tell me to find the answer on his stupid gay disc. Hello. I'm not looking for a one sentence answer, I'm looking for an educated opinion. He's a real piece of work.

They should put prozac in saltshakers on tables in restaurants and homes so everybody can eat shitloads of prozac with every meal. That's my political platform.

I think I'm going to have to upgrade to the longer cigarette papers. My Cigarette breaks are getting to be overwith too quickly.

"Dragon Quest 8" just keeps getting better and better. Which is not to say it's the greatest thing since sliced bread (or, as The Econ Guy says, "the greatest thing since the Free Market in which you can buy sliced bread"), but, it's finally reached the point where I kinda look forward to playing it.

I recently got my Gold Star on ebay. Was pretty proud about that. Means I have a positive feedback rating of 10.

French Fries. Greasy potatoes. Yeah that might be a chronic fatigue culprit.

So I know this kid who is trying to get into Umich and he's the exact opposite of me in that he's overflowing with Energy and Fully-Articulated Career and Educational Goals In Both Applied Hard Sciences And Softie Humanities, at the Tender Age of 19, but he's like me in that he wants to get out of his house, where the people there don't really "get" him. Because he's kind of A Beautiful Mind (r) type Autistic Genius.

Anyway. Kinda intense situation that sometimes makes me think of the past; wish I could go back to the year 2000, or at least 2003; but he's a good guy, one of my favourite new people, even if his spastic energy can be exhausting.

I can't blame myself for being a "Former" raging alcoholic. When things get real fast and busy, like if I worked in a restaurant, I might feel like a drink. It's a total stress reduction thing. If I worked in a restaurant I would be a total alcoholic.

Libido is related to stress too. Like, positively. But not friendliness. So I'd just go around The Mall getting drunk and beating-off all over people in a rather brusque manner.

People who get hookers are probably smart enough to realize they're getting a "very rough approximation" of A "real" experience.

Well I have several goals today, one of which is to finish my studying. The other is to be a little friendlier than I was yesterday. I got 29 days left. Sometimes Countdowns aren't all bad.

It can be definition hard to think positive thoughts when you've gotten in the habit of thinking negative thoughts for years and years. You really need to be sledgehammered with the obvious, because the obvious is not obvious at all. We all get our little triggers sometimes. Certain topics, issues, people, tropes, concepts, ideas, stereotypes, events.

So my instructor is pure evil, but his class is often interesting. Example: last class we got off on a "tangent" about Health Care Reform (which is, of course, topical to Econ), and one of the friendly classmates who likes to provoke the teacher was talking about medical expenses and how he could not afford to get a blood test and the teacher told him to get on medicaid and the guy said he was rejected from medicaid because even though he was unemployed, something about his "net worth" disqualified him, and he mentioned about how he lost his house two years ago so the teacher suggested he file bankruptcy because if you're really poor you don't have anything to lose from bankruptcy, and the guy responded about potential employers doing credit checks (which of course they do do) and how bankruptcy might prevent him from getting a job in the future; and the teacher was talking about how there's only one cat scan machine in a certain western canadian province and 6 month waitlists and how a guy fell in canada and they wouldn't scan him there so he came to the U.S., immediately got a scan and they gave him Effective Treatment bla bla bla.

I got "Call Of Duty 3" in the mail and started playing it. There is definitely a lot of shooting. I'm having a real tuff time getting used to the controls, though. Right now, I'm simply bad at aiming, and you have to be good at aiming to kill nazis and get anywhere in this game. I just hope my Bad Aiming isn't a symptom of some neurological disease.

Studying for tests bugs me. "I don't want to study more, but I probably studied enough to get a good grade anyway. I hope." Still, this is way preferable to not being Smart.

Good lord. I just won "God Of War 2". Meaning I've just bought 3 games in the past 2 weeks. Think I'll be set in this Dep't for a good long while. And the spreadsheet allows all of this greedy materialism is the best part.

I also started a "Hooker Fund" just for laffs. Put in like 50 cents a week, see how that goes.

I'm semi-mentoring a Young Man who is trying to transfer to Umich, giving him some names and suggestions and mainly moral support (I do NOT give "Advice.") We agree that it is imperative that he get all A's in his classes, and he is obviously smrt enough to get A++++'s in all classes, but his stumbling block is in conforming to the teacher's style/personality, and in teachers giving out ridiculously unfair grades, for example, a D for a 2-page paper for which I could not possibly justify giving less than a B minus / C plus only on one of My very angry, unfair days, and a teacher who is very uncommunicative and unhelpful when you go to ask for help, essentially telling you "you didn't do it right. If you want a better grade, do what I want but I'm not going to tell you what I want".

In other works, cranky, crabby, evil, completely unhelpful teachers that refuse to point you in the right direction when you ask for help, and use "well, College is a Learning environment not a teaching environment" as their Nigger Bullshit Excuse, and then they go out of their way to make it a counterproductive, frustrating, toxic, chaotic, trifling, antagonistic, anti-learning "Learning" Environment.

I agree that students do need to learn how to teach themselves to some extent; I'm just against the fact of instructors being Completely Useless and unhelpful and nemesis-like - Seemingly Intentionally Confusing and Non-Straightforward. Jesus Christ. So this kid was unfortunate enough to get two of those types of teachers this term. I've never had two of those types of teachers in my Entire Life, except when I was in ridiculous catholic grade school. (I went to a ridiculous catholic high school too, but the teachers there were overall pretty good.)

Needless to say, they didn't have this at "The Harvard of the Midwest". Even if a prof was not the "greatest teacher", they weren't so hateful and anti-student and non-helpful. They gave out a simple syllabus that said "This is how your grade in this class will be calculated, and here's the stuff those points come from, and when they are due. Done."

It's simply ridiculous. This is not a matter of being a "Tuff teacher", it's a matter of being sadistic saboteurs to people who are desperate to improve their station in life. It'd be one thing if they were sabotaging the lives of JewrgeBrats. But the people round these parts are literally fighting for their godforsaken lives. And I don't want a real smart kid with loads o' Potential to go to waste and become a bitter old alcoholic or something.

This CNN review of LARS VON TRIER'S "ANTICHRIST" popped up "randomly" in my gmail ads. The description of the movie as "an atrocity" certainly does not lessen my desire to see this long-hyped new film by one of my Personal Cinematic Heroes. Perhaps it's being given wide Amerikkkan release for the Halloween season. If anyone would like to drive me to go see it, please get ahold of me.

I would also really, really like to go see Bob Dylan and His Band at the Fox Theatre on Friday Nov 6.
(Explanation For Women (tm): "Bob Dylan is probably the most famous singer who ever lived in America. According to Wikipedia.com, 'Bob Dylan has been a major figure in popular music for five decades.' Five decades is 50 years. Bob Dylan became famous in the 1960's when he sang about Civil Rights and the Vietnam War, symbolizing flower power and the "Hippie" movement with his songs like 'The Times Are Changing' and 'Blowing In The Wind.' Nowadays Bob Dylan is 68 years old, but still tours with his band on 'The Never Ending Tour' and has released 119 albums, and also a Christmas album.")

Damn I'ma Asshole!
Tickets are $48.40, which is expensive, but, to me, payably worth-it for this show in this venue. If You are of a similar opinion, and would like to pick me up and drive me, I will happily pay You 40 cents-per-mile for Car Costs (which I will generously round-up to total $20 Out-The-Door); Plus a, uh, a to-be-determined portion of the price of Your ticket. Or You could just drop me off, and go to the casino or sporting event or some gay bar or gay show, and then pick me up after seeing Bob Dylan and drive me home. (But in that case, I will not pay for a portion of a ticket which You would not be using in the first place. I would just pay You the $20 for Car Costs.)

Although Bob Dylan is not so popular with the kids these days. Maybe he needs to call it "Bob Dylan and His PBR Dance Party." WHAT A WORLD.

So, no two posts this week, but I'm trying to be busy/productive with stuff. Still thinking about doing a Sibhob Podcast, possibly before the end of the year. It wouldn't have to be perfect. It could be kinda wristed-out. Now I'm just trying to plant the seed in some heads.

Have a good weekend, please try not to be ackin a trifling hoe, and never forget, if you don't want to make $11,000 for your services, note, I'm really not putting a gun to your head and forcing you to get me a Decent Job.

______________
*Not a proven Fact.
**Ibid.

FAT, CANKLISH THIGHNEES

2009-10-18T18:55:00.007-04:00

Trying to do it twice a week here, so as to minimize the verbal smegma. Crusty Buildup. Keep things flowing in motion. Might not be the most epically profound post, but it's still Hwite Hwot. Yes there is a Fanfic, Right Now!

HARRY POTTER FANFIC

The way Hermione Granger saw it, it wasn't an issue of "having to make up her mind." Her mind was made up; she had chosen not to choose between one and the other. And, this most assuredly was not an issue of "having one's cake and eating it too," which, as far as Hermione reckoned, was a false issue anyway - a chauvinistic "straw-red-herring", if you will.

The decision was very simple: Hermione was going to maintain friendships with Harry, Ron, and whomever else she chose. This was as uncomplicated as it could get, and Hermione was understandably frustrated by others' irrationally, immaturely insisting that it was. They were third-years at Hogwarts; they were really too old for such sophomoric bickering.

Hermione heard a door slam on the other side of Gryffindor. She sighed and buried herself in a book of Potions. Professor Snape's exam was in one week; those boys had better things to be worried about.

Ron Weasley slammed the door to his room. What in Hogwarts did Hermione mean they didn't have anything to talk about? Ron honestly did want to only talk: things were getting complicated; he was confused. "Ice-cold witch," he muttered, and immediately felt a pang of guilt: he, Harry, and Hermione had been the most inseparable of friends for going-on three years now, and he knew Hermione wasn't just an "ice-cold witch." But Ron was having some horrifying second thoughts.

Ron threw himself on his bed, knocking over a pile of Potions books, and dolouriously tore open a toffee. His rat, Scabbers, came up to cuddle, and offered a gurgling purr under Ron's arm. "At least You can find some time for me, Scabbers," Ron whined.

Harry Potter crashed into his bed, exhausted from the second two-a-day Quidditch practice. Harry was a complicated young wizard, and he'd hoped the grueling physical exercise would calm his fevered mind, but all he could think about were his friends Ron and Hermione.

Harry sighed. He doubted even Albus Dumbledore would have any words of wisdom on a clusterf such as this; indeed, the entire situation insinuated a certain maleficence and decrepitude that only Lord Voldemort alone could have comprehended, if not contemplated, Harry worried with a frown.

He thought about getting up and visiting Hermione, but what would happen? They had nothing to talk about; more words would not help. As Harry pondered, he found he didn't Want to visit Hermione.

He should really visit Ron, anyhow - he couldn't remember the last time he'd hung-out with Ron without Hermione. Not that there was anything Wrong with Hermione - Harry, her, and Ron were as close as friends could be - but lately, Hermione kinda seemed to be making things kinda complicated.

See! Now Harry couldn't even think of Ron without thinking of Hermione, and getting an unpleasant feeling. Whose fault was this? Was there even any "fault" to speak of?

Harry finally decided to "blame it on Snape", muttering as he turned to Snape's texts, and tried to put Snape's words into his own unwilling mind.

Harry managed a grim grin as he thought, even Voldemort would not be too fond of Severus Snape.

END HPFF

Yes, I'm well aware that this is "elementary" fanfic. Why would you start writing fanfic when you've only gone as far as 1/8th thru the second book.
BECAUSE. This "semi-tabula-rasa" approach offers a Unique Perspective that you simply Cannot get when you have read all the books, seen all the movies, and read all the other fanfics 6,000,000,000 times.

I would maybe like to see this movie "We Are Wizards" which is a documentary on the Harry Potter Fandom. While anything that has a big showing at SWSX is bound to be hipsterish, And it's been criticized for being "short-sighted", it still looks watchable. Hey look apparently you can watch the whole thing on Hulu. Maybe I'll do that.

At any rate, I think Harry Potter has made Fanfic and Fandom itself into something that can no longer be ignored, but which runs an increasing risk of misperception-by-the-masses as it becomes more ubiquitous. I.e., we need a good documentary film on the topic, and though I suspect "We Are Wizards" is not that film, it's probably a step in the right direction.

My obvious question is, are there "Wizard Rock" Solo Projects of the Grim, Epic Atmospheric Black Metal variety?

Paysage d'Hiver Is the Black Metal Band O' The Post. Hale. They might even become Black Metal Band O' The Quarter, and I wouldn't shit ya. I've been listening to lotsa disparate black metal, majorly due to Burzum tributes, which is sufficient enough evidence for me to immediately give the thumbs up-or-down based on the bands' interpretations of the Burzum songs we know and love.

(for example: Black Queen's dangerous, brilliant cover of Burzum's dangerous, brilliant "Inn I Slottet Fra Droemmen"; but at least half of the covers/bands on "Visions: A Burzum Tribute" are Total Crap that should be deleted immediately)

Now, I've never heard Pd'H do a Burzum Cover; rather, their/his stuff sounds like it should BE Covered, as it is clearly in a league Apart and Above from your Rando Avg BM Band.

Pd'H's star is currently rising, if you could ever say that about something so "obscure" and grim.

I inferred that Pd'H's song "Welt Aus Eis" was basically its kind of "Det Som En Gang Var" (a song written by a Solo Project whose name eludes me but sounds like Turdzcum.) You know: an Epic Achetypical Macrocosmic Statement of Intent. Also, "WELT AUS EIS" itself is a ungetawaywithably awesome song title. Even nonfans of Black Metal cannot deny that.

The production, in a word, is godawful, but it's one of the few "godawful-sounding" productions that sounds better the more you listen to it. I know that's hard to believe. (Listening on headphones makes a surprising improvement.) This is definition Grim Freezing Black Metal even in soundqual alone. Like you're listening in the middle of the blizzarding, wintry equivalent of a bigass hurricane. The music also nicely evinces the feeling evoked by the cover art:

So, Pd'H gets big points for being a fully-unified aesthetic package. This is not drunkenly thrown-together, even though the drums and vocals are almost laughably "bad" sounding. But when the "Riffs" finally sink in, you start to understand what the fuss is about.

Where I find myself skipping a lot of black metal bands when they pop-up on my Philips 2gig, I find myself sticking to Pd'H, and not being able to delete them. Fact: they are proving to be a Keeper.

Now I need to use ebay to get a Paysage d'Hiver Shirt.

I felt like schlepping together a new Mix over @ 8-tracks, so I did. There you'll find full-length, Straightforward Black Metal songs for your solitary, autumnal, nighttime walking pleasure. I hope The Law does not end up taking the songs out of order.

Yes, I did put "WELT AUS EIS" on there. Very glacial. The song is taking over my life and taking on a life of its own. A slowly creeping, freezing, dying "Life."

Meijer and Walmart brand(tm) things - like cookies and cereal and ice cream and pop and windshield wiper blades and beluga caviar - are considered by economists to be "Inferior Goods" because they are Cheapest of their kind, and thus we could expect the Demand for them to increase when Average Income is on the decline, yes.

I should make it a point to shop more at the Dollar Store.

I just "won" "Call of Duty 3" and "Shadow of the Colossus" (ps2) on Ebay. Reasonable, less-than-gamestop prices. I'm kinda excited. I do hope C.O.D.3. is a decent Shooter.

I finally made it o'er the hump in "Dragon Quest 8". It took about 3 to 4 excruciating hours to make any sign of progress, but, once you do, I could see the game being worth its $10 price. Especially if it stretches to "80-hours" like I've read. Some things that work against this game: the unfriendliness of that initial hump. You really gotta fight through it. You can't level up fast enough, you can't make enough money fast enough, and if someone gets killed, you're fucked. But once you get to the second village and get the boomerang (soundly attack all enemies with one blow), you start gaining money and experience at an overly fast rate. Oh yeah and the controls are kind of "clunky". Definitely not quite Final Fantasy Caliber over here.

Dissection never fucked around Live. I've been listening to live albums of Both pre-and-post-prison versions of Dissection, and it's all good. Well-played and well-sounding, yet still contains that Raw Energy a surprising number of Live Records lack. Live Records are really hit-or-miss.

Did I once say it was kinda hard to find recent Bob Dylan shows? I'm mystified as to how I never stumbled across dylannl.nl in all my googling. That site has basically every show Dylan ever did. Right there. You can just up and Have them Right Now. Point and click. Incredible.

No, not all women are trifling hoes. Maybe not even 50.1% of women are even trifling hoes. I didn't mean to give that perception last post.

However, unfortunately, my WELTANSCHAUUNG is shaped largely by TV/massconsumptionmedia/advertising, and I have very limited interaction with Real WomenPeopleTm to rebut that false image. I'm trying to bump the Real Interaction up a notch, which would clearly be a WinWin.

How disgustingly awesome would it be to mix Meijer(r) Diet Rocky Mist in with SemiSweet [Cold] Tea? Just a little bit, just "to taste." I think I'ma hafta take it there.

"The Office" is done in "mockumentary" style, which makes it seem realistic, but the show is nothing like Real Life. Right? Real people are not so Tragic, Awkward, or Hilarious. In real life, Pam would have gotten married to Roy and the only time Jim could possibly have a chance with her would be like 10 years later when she's had 3 kids with Roy and she's as-stretched-as-it-gets, and she's gone off the deep end from her horrible and unsatisfying life with Roy, and is possibly becoming a haggard, old-faced alcoholic like Meredith. And Jim would be fatter and older and Royer himself, and then, one night, him and Pam would have drunksex and it would be awful and lead to nothing.

But seriously folks. Real life is probably somewhere inbetween those two extremes. What we can say for certain is that Creed is the coolest guy in The Office. I'm surprised at how Creed has not become a Hipster Cultural Phenomenon yet. Maybe he has; I try to steer clear of Hipsters. But all you need for evidence is when they go to the ice rink on Michael's Birthday / Kevin's Skin Cancer Day, and the only time you ever see Creed there is for 2 seconds when he is playing a Shooter Arcade game with two little boys, with an extreeeeemely grim look on his face as he squeezes the trigger with a purpose. A deadly purpose.

(It took a real long time to find that picture.)

I need at least an 8-Gig mp3 player. Looking at the Sandisk Sansa. Competitively priced, that. I refuse to get an iPod, because I don't like how it excludes itself from Useful USB Technology. Or, rather, how it makes you slaven to iTunes. I can't run iTunes because even though I can (soon) afford a low-shelf mp3 player, I cannot afford a new computer. (Although I am sortof saving for one. Also saving to "move out into my own bigboy-house". I am [trying to] saving a lot, for a lot of different things.)

A word about Taake: Taake grabs you immediately by "The Short 'n' Curlies" and never lets go. Taake is a bundle of contradictions: they are raw and Trve black metal, yet they are also very, very catchy. If I had to sum-up Taake in one phrase, that one phrase would be "nearly flawlessly-produced Raw Trve Norwegian Black Metal made-up of Fjordfuls of Awfully Catchy - yet Headbangingly Blastbeaty - Riffs." The even better news is that Taake/Hoest knows how to piece the Buckets O' Riffs together into a decent song; although, ultimately, Taake's biggest weakness will pry end up being "they just have Too Many Riffs." (Although some would think of the notorious German "Swastika Incident" pictured above.)

Sometimes there even sounds to be some "Riff-Cramming", which happens a lot in Death Metal. Thank goodness Taake Crams only Epic Raw Black Metal Riffs, though. Also, Taake makes complicated music sound easy and natural. The great production and the Great Vokills are the icing on the cake. (And yes, sometimes Hoest and Co do restrain themselves from the Constant Onslaught O' Riffage and will only have 5,000 riffs per song rather than 10,000, and it is a welcome change. If only they did that with more songs!)

I can understand people dissing Taake for being "Over-the-top" or maybe "style-over-substance" (I wouldn't agree) or even "narcissistic assholes" but, I would never Blame a person for thinking Taake is kinda awesome. Hale. I think they're kinda awesome. I would Totally go to a Show if they ever came to the U.S. Too bad they're total darky-hating racists, but, fortunately, such has never stopped total darky-hating racists from making Awesome Music.

I'll take a Racist Bandguy over a Hipster Bandguy anyday!

Eh. That's it for today. I'm still not done with the Kc'n'Kay Panabaker Fanfic, mind You.

So have a blablabla, and please don't give me second thoughts about wanting to GIVE YOU $11,0000.

EVERYBODY KNOWS, YOUR A TRIFLING HO

2009-10-14T14:50:00.008-04:00

There is a Fanfic in today's Sibhod, for that sub-audience who reads the Sibhod only for the Fanfic.

Other than that, nothing too new. I introduce the term "Trifling Ho" and try to get everyone to use it. I whine and complain, and I make no apology for my narcissism.

So I'm here, gettin' paid at 7:30 am, listening to some guy talk about how he's got to work today from 4pm to 2:30 am, at which point he's got to be back round here at 7:30 am again tomorrow. Even if my family were being forced out onto the streets, I could not muster that kind of energy. I am regularly in bed, lights out before 9 pm. Or else I go postal. How do people develop such High Thresholds? By their families being forced out into the streets.

Research suggests that people are not really as big of promiscuous, trifling hoes as we imagine they are. It's all in our heads. I found that kind of comforting. Although I still suspect that this kind of research is notoriously hard to validate. You know, Masters and Johnson, and Kinsey, and Shere Hite and all that. Heh. I still need to see that movie "Kinsey" with Badass Liam Neeson.

I'm long overdue for a new ps2 game. I'm thinking "God Of War 2" and/or one of the "Call of Duty" games. I've reached a stumbling block in FF12 where it's finally gotten Real Frustrating: stupid Vivians and their Bad Breath.

Here's another good mindfreak for Monday morning: sometimes people who don't seem like Trifling Hoes turn out to indeed be Trifling Hoes, and vice versa.

What's the deal. Is Mel Gibson Australian or not? What I really wanna know is, does he really speak with an Australian Accent, or did he ever?

I don't even hate the Harry Potter "Chamber of Secrets" book, but I've just not been in the mood for reading it. I'd rather watch the movie, but I want to read the book before I watch the movie. Oh well. One day at a time.

Ok, here's the big question of the post. Who's the more important JEW, Bob Dylan or Leonard Cohen? This is mind-boggling. (Cf the family guy where Mort ran around screaming "Save Jon Stewart! He's our most important Jew!"

Well, Bob Dylan is clearly more of a Big Deal than LC. He's almost come to symbolize "America" like baseball and apple pie and all that. While Leonard Cohen similarly symbolizes Canada. Which is not as huge. But, Really, LC is symbolizing the "Artsy, Jewrgoise Enclave in Montreal" in contrast to Canada As-A-Whole, which is more "moose and lumberjacks and no jews."

But huge portions of America are not jewish, either. Like anything that's not on the coast. Like Duluth Minnesota.

My Talking Point is: While you never, ever forget LC's a huge hooknosed jew, you have to actively remind yourself that BD is a Jew. Which is something you've never had to do for any other Jew. That Sneaky, Sneaky Jew.

But seriously. You can tell most Jews right away. You can still look at BD and tell he's a jew, But....he doesn't SEEM like such a Huge Jew. You actually have an inner debate for a few seconds.

So "most important Jew" is the wrong question. BD is a teeny bit more "Culturally Important" and LC is definitely "More Jewish".

I should probably look up some damn new yorker article by a phd prof on the "jewishness" of BD, right?

I like saving my homework to the last minute. Just the way it is. It's not particularly Hard or in-depth. Sometimes it's hard to Concentrate on Accounting, though. I wonder if I might have ADD. The Ritalin/Adderall might help me with my Chronic Fatigue too, hahaha.

My Beef with people who complain about how busy and stressful time-consuming and life-destroying school is, if it "grinds your gears" so much to be So Busy all the time, then just give it up. Rebel. Flunk your classes. Fail. Drop Out. Otherwise, keep your "eyes on the prize" and shut the hell up about it. That's what I did. Of course, I never shut the hell up about failing and dropping-out, then.

Ya can't win! Just Give it up already! Find someone who gives a care!

I'm not even in a Bad Mood, I got enough sleep, but I still feel like taking a Nap when I get home. I have not been keeping up with the new season of "It's Always Sunny" simply because I don't ever want to stay awake till 10 pm to watch it.

One day I'm gonna be an Alpha Male. Roissy or somebody had a great post about Alpha Body Language, which sends the not-so-subtle message that You Are The Boss and You Don't Give A Fuck About What She Wants. Examples: You don't walk side by side, you walk in front of her, dominantly, like a man leading a dog. But you're not "possessive" because you just don't give a damn. Also, there are never arguments about anything, because you always have the final say. You're the decision maker. Your foot is down. Ok I can't find the post. It might not have been Roissy. Whatever. Just google "alpha male body language" and you'll get some Good Tips.

I love that stuff. Love it. That's my problem is I'm not Authoritative Enough. I don't Dominate the woman enough, I don't make her a Passive enough Object of My Unfuckwithable Agency. That's why I'm not masculine, that's why I don't pull. Noted. Fine. Ok, Trifling Ho.

No, I'm not going to say "I'm gonna bend the rules" and drive when I'm not supposed to. What if I were to run into my Probation Officer while I was going to see Tyler Perry at the Cheep Cinema? I would be thrown in Jail, and I do not want to be thrown in jail, especially when I have only like 37 days left on my restricted license.

"But, probability-wise, the odds of you getting JAILED for driving on a restricted license are very lo-"

I just don't care. I'm not gonna risk it.

I want to finally sit down, take 2 minutes, and write-out my "Elevator Speech." Whaddya mean you don't have an Elevator Speech? Then You don't deserve the job you have; you need to get Shitcanned Right Now.

Yes, I drank too much Tea and Coffee yet I'm still in the mood for a nap.

Accounting is kinda boring. I'm doing well in it, and it's a respectable, stable Career that I could probably get into if I wanted to give the time and the effort, but.... it's really boring. I'd have to be getting some Frequent Satisfactory Action to overcompensate for how boring it is.

My Accounting Instructor is a Very Politically Conservative guy, and, like my Econ Instructor, has wasted some class-time doing some Obama-Bashing, which would be absolutely Unheard-Of at my Alma Mater. However, The Accounting Instructor is a very nice, pleasant, mild-mannered, gentle Grandfatherly type who "channels" a very "positive aura." The Econprof, in contrast, is very negative. Although getting better.

Yes, it does occur to me that maybe I should have been born in an Islamic Theocracy, what with my patriarchal, misogynist, unrealistic expectations of female "purity". That, or the US should be more Fundamentalist to accomodate my needs. It looks like I'm going to have to invoke Serenity here, and then modify my Expectations and subsequent Approach.

Yup, the seasons are really starting to change, and my need to Hibernate and be even more chronically-fatigued is at direct cross-purpose with my need to craft a Black Metal Song about the changing of the seasons. There will be "blast beats", and they will be dominant (teaser), but they will absolutely not be fast.

Not my favourite Monday. Maybe somebody put something funny in my prozac. Or maybe I drank my bucket o' tea too fast. Maybe I need to take a nap. Maybe I ate too many bite-size pieces of halloween candy. Maybe my breakfast of Crunch Attack With Berries was too sugary. That's right, I don't eat Cap'n Crunch, I eat Crunch ATTACK.

Everything's gonna be on the up-and-up once I take Marketing next term. Marketing will turn everything around.

"Why's that?"

I was being Sarcastic.

In today's People I Like File we have Dr Wayne Dyer, Noted Wayne State alumnus. Sure, he looks like he's in a certain club with Andrew Carnegie, and maybe his writing isn't as terse as mine, but I think he's a decent human being and one of the few Stand-Outs among the Guru crowd. I picked up one of his books "The Sky's The Limit" at a Library Book Sale (he's also fond of talking about new-agey sort of things, but, he's done his homework and his head is in the right place) and near the beginning he invokes one of my favourite Thinkers, Adorno. When you waste your education on Psych, all you hear about Adorno was his "The Authoritarian Personality", which is a pretty groundbreaking work to be sure.

Anyway, Adorno lists several key features of the Authoritarian Personality, one of which is "Sexual Repression." They think sex is dirty and horrible, thus they are sexually fucked-up, and they insinuate dirty sex into everything and everyone they see. ACCURATE.

So I was thinking, one of the great Relationship Litmus Tests is, is the person a Trifling Ho or not. Let's get a few assumptions straight: in the Patriarchal US society, women are trained/encouraged to be trifling hoes. We should define trifling ho:

1. distinctly feminine

2. flighty / inconsistent / unreliable

3. Of Little Consequence. Non-substantive. Sundry. Superficial. Trifling.

3. Follower, not a Leader. Passive. Not an Independent Thinker/Agent.

4. Annoying / Obnoxious.

5. Troglodytic

6. Immature / Naive

7. S lotsa Ds.

8. Are always in some sort of damn Drama.

9. It's easier to lose respect / dislike "hate on" them than it is to gain respect etc.

10. You get that "intuition" in your guts that "this person is more trifling than not."

11. You think "I cannot wait to get away from this person."

12. They remind you of someone who would be on the Tyra show.

13. They dress in a way that just does not sit right with You.

14. They are always sending/receiving Texts.

15. They're on Facebook.

16. They talk about Sex Things in Public.

17. They don't care if there's no rubber.

18. They make a big deal out of trifling shit but always trifle-over the real important shit

19. They Like Attention and Use The Masculine Gaze to get their way, without realizing that's trifling, and they're still the ones getting used.
20. They think everyone else is a Trifling Ho like them
20. They go out to Bars and Clubs.
20. You have ever seen any part of their Ass at any time.

20. They're Useless.

Ok well my definition of Trifling may be a bit more rigid than Yours, but this is blatantly a difference in degree, not in Kind. Learn the difference, Trifling Ho.

I've been with Trifling Hoes in my time; I denied they were trifling hoes at the time because I didn't want them to be. But, in the end, things did not work out - they could not have worked out - because their level of Trifling Ho-ry was a Dealbreaker. Sure, I had fault, too, but...even if I hadn't, they'd still be trifling hoes.

I'm using that term so much because we will all benefit from having it drilled into our heads. If you're a woman, you may be a Trifling Ho and not even know it. (Men, unless they are Flaming, cannot be Trifling Hoes, because the definition quality of Triflingness is itself Feminine.)

Now that I'm mature, I can spot a Trifling Ho a mile away, and I know that I do not want to Get Involved with them.

I'm not saying to make Trifling Hoes the enemy. No. You can still be a Good Person even if you're a Trifling Ho. Men like to "keep women in their place" of being Trifling Hoes because it makes Women easier to Control/Dominate.

But that's just not what I want, as a Mature Feminist Man. (haha). And it's so difficult to find a lack of Triflingness these days.

I literally laid awake at night thinking about Trifling Hoes, and what makes them Trifling.

I'd bet most people have a pretty good intuition on detecting Triflingness. I'm simply now giving them the words to articulate it. And I must give credit to a friend of mine who, for all intents and purposes, coined the term "Trifling Ho" for me. It was popular a few years back, but I forgot about it until I realized how obvious, profound, and elemental it remains.

So your homework is to go out into the World and take note of 3 examples of Trifling Honess. (This should, it goes without saying, not be time-consuming or difficult.) Jaw on that one awhile.

At any rate, if I had to narrow it down to one single make-it-or-break-it quality for my potential polyamourous wives, it would be that they are not Trifling Hoes.

I have downloaded the first album by "Tindersticks." I feel that is worth some more-hip-than-hip points. The singer sounds like Nick Cave.

I'm not a fan of getting older. I'm grateful I've kept my boyish good looks, but, it is nonetheless horrifying - and I have such difficulty Accepting - that, like it or not, I AM going to be Twenty-Seven years old. This is a pain that Twenty-One-two-or-three year-olds, by definition, simply cannot know. I am Old.

So the fixation on Young girls, of course, is cause for worry, as I am concerned I'm becoming the next Woody Allen or Roman Polanski or Creepy Old Man.

There is a young man kind of spazzing out here, and I'm not sure what to do.

Went to B-Dubs again because they have a Half-Off Wings special on Tuesdays. I got "Blazin" and "Mango Habanero." I'd never got "Blazin" before (spiciest flavour), and I must say, I was not overwhelmed. Yeah, they were indeed spicy, but I still prefer the flavour of the second-most-spicy, "Wild." The Mango Habanero was overall Solid, and is a flavour I look forward to returning-to.

I don't put gel in my hair. Maybe I did once when I was 12, but I would never, ever, ever do it again. I just don't like it. It does not sit well with me. At all.

Maintaining the willpower to stay on a regular exercise regimen is extraordinarily difficult. Probably harder than quitting smoking, or getting a job.

Well the New Health Care Overhaul has passed and that of course has been controversial. Some Senator was talking about being hellbent for leather and grand canyons and blablablablablabla I just saw an attractive woman.

FANFIC: "kc and k's c"

Kc was sitting in the movie theatre next to Kay Panabaker. He tried to think of the last time he had done something like this - it had been many years - when gradually he realized he had never done something like this. Sure, he had gone to plenty of movies with plenty of women, but they were always Trifling Hoes, or he didn't ever really like them, or they were always in a big group. Now Kc had something to be nervous about.

He could not concentrate on the movie at all. It didn't seem to be a great movie, but Kay Panabaker would have made even "Drag Me To Hell" sufferthroughable. Kc hoped his distraction was not obvious; Kay obviously did not seem distracted. Maybe she wasn't really into him? Maybe he was now trapped in the Friend Zone? Why'd he suggest a movie instead of coffee or lunch where they could have actually talked? Now, if she had invited him to a movie he would have not "locked" her in the "friend zone"... not that he'd ever put a smart, nice, non-trifling pretty woman in his "friend zone" before.

His mind reeled: She's Gotta be outta my league. I've gotta be in her Friend Zone. I'm not of comparable attractiveness to her. That's just the stone cold raw evolutionary truth, baby. Sure, I have a nice smile, symmetrical face, and I'm not Bad-looking, but I'm definitely not a Radiant, Shining Perfect Angel like she is, even if she has this weird facial tic and her waist-hip ratio is approx .85 and her Pooper practically does not exist. For me to be as attractive to her as I am attracted to her, I'd have to be in super-athletic 6-pack shape, and not have all that hair on my stomach...right? And my Jaw is not ideal. But HALE! I've pulled ridiculously cute girls before, I must not be That tuff on the eyes...But I was like 8 years younger then AND they were trifling hoes. I've never been in this situation before with a woman who was pretty And Not Trifling oh god I'm doomed oh god oh god ogod

The movie was clearly at its climax but Kc didn't know or care what was going on. He couldn't even remember the name of the movie. He was desperately thinking of a gambit he could use to get his Game back on track after this clusterfuck. This might be his last chance for another 8 years and by then he'd be 35 and then going out to the movies with pretty, smart, nontrifling 21-year olds would be Really out of the question. Why didn't he just specifically Court single mothers already? It's not like he'd never made any big mistakes in his life.

Kc wasn't needy; he got along fine without anyone, but he seemed to get along better when the periods of loneliness were kept to a maximum of 10 years or so.

Damn. Kc really needed to file his Medicaid papers and get a damn Xanax prescription already. He doubted it would look good if he asked Kay if she had any Xanax. Not that she did.

27 Years old, no substantial job, no health care, what gave Kc the right to even think he could go to a movie with a nice, nontrifling 21-year-old woman instead of putting his nose to the grindstone, his feet to the streets, and trying to get a better damn Job? You don't drive on the fucking Autobahn in a stick-shift if you've never successfully driven a stick-shift around the fucking Block. That's just not the way things Worked. Son. Things happen In Order. Chains of Causality.

Kc was just about to excuse himself to go outside for some deepass breaths and a few backward 20-counts when the man and the woman started making-out, the music stopped, new music began, and the credits rolled up the screen. Fuuuuuuuck.

Kay glanced at him and smiled, totally at ease. DOOMED. Kc laughed nervously:
"Hehehe. Well. Whajya think?" Wait. Wasn't it "Beta" to care what the woman thinks? Probably. Damn. He was continuously losing points with her, and she didn't even know it yet.
"It was alright, I guess..." Her smile waned slightly. Didn't it? Shit. He was trying not to stare.
"Yeahhhhhhh..." said Kc, not knowing what to say, his voice rising quizzically. Shit. More Beta. Be opinionated. Be decisive. Be A Man. Act like you want to come in her cunt, not just make-out with her.

They started getting up from their seats. Shit. What're you supposed to say when you and The Girl are getting up from your seats after the movie And she's not trifling And she's nice And Pretty And....
"Heh. Yup."
They had made it into the aisle, getting towards the door, he held the door for her, that might be a FAIL but fuckit, KC just held doors for women that's just who he was and he wasn't gonna sell out and change that for anyone, trifling or not.

"Yeah, I'm not so sure I would place any Oscar bets on this one anytime this year-" oh christ there's the blessed bathroom "-COUGH, would you excuse me one moment, I have to use the facilities."
She smiled. She had some sort of smile on her face pretty much the whole time. "Sure, I have to go too, hehehe"
Did she laugh because she was nervous or did she laugh because he Made her nervous or was she nervous good or nervous bad or in fact not nervous at all or

and then Kc was finally in the bathroom and Safe for the first time in two hours. Inert; but Safe.

A fat black man farted a fat black fart in one of the stalls.

FANFIC END.

Not bad, uh? But really, folks, Kc should have taken Kay out not-to-a-movie, and he should have really brushed-up on his Roissy before leaving, or else his likelihood of Pulling is in jeopardy. Not that he should even be thinking of taking Kay anywhere, seeing as he's 27 years old and does not have a Decent Job.

Yes, I know Kay Panabaker is really like 18, not 21. This is FANFIC, remember?

Anyway, the Chronic Fatigue is kicking in again. This is really not a fun Disease, but it's better than many, I suppose. I'll go hook-up the Ol' Prozac I.V. and take a big nap.

So keep an eye out for those Trifling Hoes, and try to minimize the extent to which You may be a Trifling Hoe yourself. Because it can take hold of You real easy without You even realizing it.

So. Go take a big nap and use that to Your advantage, and ponder some more about accepting my offer of thousands of U.S. Dollars.

LIES HIDE NO TRUTH

2009-10-11T10:45:00.017-04:00

No Pre, No Dedic. Fact is, the Sibhod wants to Get Gorilla on Your Arse.

What we have to realize when we're trying not to be so hateful and misanthropic is that sometimes people don't intend to be obnoxious. They're not bad people. Their behaviour only gives the Illusion of being obnoxious, and it was ingrained into them as per the different Culture in which they were raised.

Some examples of cultural groups who Unintentionally Act Extraordinarily Offensively Obnoxious All The Time include: Albanians, Arabs, Chaldeans, Blacks, Italians, Macedonians, Balkans, Russians, Serbs, Croats, Slovenians, Muslims, Jews, former Soviets, Women, people suffering-from Eating Disorders, etc. In these cultures, being rude, obnoxious, loud, abrasive, and excruciating is considered being Polite. So, yes, it IS just you.

I love libraries. Libraries are my favourite place on Ouearth. I would live in a library, and I would totally go to Library School and become a Librarian but for one reason: The average salary is not too great. Further, it's not a "Masculine" sized salary, and it's even more not a "masculine" profession, but I'm glad to defy "Masculinity" any chance I get. The Tuff Truth is, People are just going to have to Accept Me-For-Me, and Who I am is a Gender-Role-Flouter, and Not-Flouting Gender Roles just so I can meet some "Hot Action Quota" from a troggy Non-Flouter is ethically obscene to me. More accurately: on particular issues Me and Macho Men converge, and makin' lotsa monay happens to be one of them. Just because I would like to live comfortably as a Role-Flouter.

I have been developing a bit of a love affair with The Economic lately. Putting every aspect of my life under the Economic Micro/Macroscope. My styles and attitudes. Strengthening Strengths and Weakening Weaknesses.

For example, my Musical Creative Style is pretty Conservative. Traditional. Predictable and Non-surprising. There's not a lot of radical change both within and without of the songs. There's mainly elementary-sounding riffs and tons of repetition.

What I've learned as I Craft The New Song 2009 is, none of this is a bad thing. At all. It could be, if done by a trog. But, not being a trog, I like to consider these riffs to be "Elemental," not "Elementary", and downright essential for creating a certain Epic, Grim, Mournful, Proud, and Profound Black Metal Atmosphere. Sure it's going to bore some of the Techies to death. Sure some people will accuse me of "ripping off the Epic Parts from Key To The Gate by Burzum, and then ripping off himself ripping-off the Epic Parts from Key To The Gate for every consecutive song." But Burzum is a huge Influence for me, and that's just the way it is.

Not that Influences always translate. I luv the sassy riffage of Dark Tranquillity but I'm just not that kind of player myself. And, My favourite person Ever is Tom Waits, and he has a kinda "primitive", "straightforward" style himself, but I could not even begin to Ape It. Maybe if TW wrote an Atmospheric Black Metal song. Now that I'd like to hear!

You may share in my gladness of Rebuilding my Resume. It is now so powerful I can't even believe it's all true. This resume would have cut my previous job search in Half. Or so I hope.

I'm intrigued by the idea that, In The Hook-Up World, some people are a "dime a dozen". They revolve in then out of Your lives, and while You may enjoy them for a week or a month, several months later, you don't remember their faces or their names. Because you felt like there was nothing there really worth remembering in the long-term. I take this as a sad reflection that some people don't seem to have much more to offer than their bodies. I hold myself - and the people with whom I choose to associate - to a much higher standard.

The other day I went back on OKCupid for a few minutes, for the first time in about 5 months. It was just as godawful as I remember, only now more user-unfriendly. This stuff is truly poison, and I prefer having it excluded from my life. I remain stalwart in my opinion that only Creepy Losers use The Internet for "Dating."

If I'm spurting Feelings-Juice(tm) all-over a woman I "wanna make it work with", then there's usually a discernable level of Fear and Dread there: "Oh g-d I don't want this to end too soon because I know that is going to really suck." I guess this reflects an Emotional Investment on my part. The trick is, not to do this prematurely or unmutually.

The Sibhod is basically my business; my brand; my company; my product; my corporation; my 501c3. It's much more than "A Blog." I would like to take Action regarding this philosophy. This is a Long-Term goal, obv.

So I am a little upset that a quick google search turns up that there is a BAND called "The Sinister Icy Black Hand Of Death Club" AND a gaming community/guild/?? by a very similar name. I don't know if it's WoW or Halo or what. It's something geeky and gamy. Of course, we're all ripping-off Calvin and Hobbes.

If I'da known that the Sibhod was going to succeed in becoming such a Big Deal(tm), I might have put more time into coming up with a name. In fact, I think I originally called it "Bourgeois Buffoon". (Another C&H Ripoff.) I've had many writing projects over the years, most notably "The Raw Deal" and "Fiction" and, waywaywayway back in The Day, "Eternal Oceans of Sorrow" and "Betrothed to the Goat." (I can't even Find that stuff any more. I think it was lost forever in The Great Hard Drive Crash Of 2006.)

So yeah. Point is, recently I toyed with the idea of Changing the Name of The Sibhod, but... then I started leaning away from that. The Sibhod might not be the greatest name ever, but it works, it's stuck, and I don't necessarily Hate it. At this intermediate stage in the game, a Name Change would probably do more harm than good.

I briefly thought about changing it to "LIES HIDE NO TRUTH" but... you know the rest. Although that would be a great post title. Very Gaspar Noeian, No? I trust you've seen "I Stand Alone" by now?

I'm still gonna do that New Mission Statement. Gimme a few months, though.

Also, I think I can safely say that I'll be on the two-post-per-week sched for the recent future. I defy you to argue why the One-Epic-Length-Post-Per-Week is better.

Yeah, I got worlds of Fanfic waiting to be born. (Yes, that's an At The Gates reference.) Some teasers:

kc and Kay Panabaker Go To The Movies.

kc lets it all (unsheathedly) rip all up inside Emma Watson. (very sweaty)

aaaannnnddd....

an Ungetawaywithable Harry Potter Fanfic focusing on Hermione, Harry and Ron at Hogwarts.

There will likely be appearances by: Alex Russo, Hank Hill, Greg House, Mr Moseby, Zack'n'Cody, Bailey, Lars von Trier, the entire Costanza Clan, Commander Adama, Col Tigh, the Sunny Gang, Lt Tritter, Officer Bill from Dancer in the Dark, The Man Behind Winkies, The Cowboy, The Espresso Guy, Frank Booth, Tiger Woods, Varg Vikernes, Andrew Carnegie, you get the picture.

But Fanfic is taking a backseat right now, obv, and I cannot say it will ever Dominate the Sibhod.

Another part of the Sibhod's mission is to jump-on things before "fark" or "ytmnd" or any of those fat faggot slut "internet humour" sites buzzes-up bad, slutty jokes into full-blown memes/girlshirts.

Now, this video/song does have 6,000,000 views (literally!) on Youtube already, but with valid reason. The "Slap Chop Rap Remix" is absolutely the biggest thing to rock the infomercial world since the death of Billy Mays. Easily. If I were having a dance party, I would put this song on the mix, and I'd execute all Hipsters who did the same.

Well, this stuff's at least 6 months old, so I'm afraid I may be too late. Gargle My Ballbag.

I went to B-Dubs recently and was yet again unimpressed. This time was the worst, though. Their wings are sickly and scrawny. These are not the big, juicy, hormoned-out wings that I would expect. Basically my problem is: you're not getting what you pay for. The price is too high. I might pay $3 for 6 little wings that I suck down in 30 seconds, but definitely not $5. For shame!

I'm getting libidinous for food right now. You know. The type of food good americans get libidinous for: big macs and kfc and pizza and coney dogs and such. I recommend that everybody go out to Checkers right now and stuff their face.

But, You know, I never really got into Arbys. It's not bad, but it's always low on the priority list.

When I was a little boy I would get a kick out of going to Arthur Treacher's as opposed to Long John Silvers. I don't think they even have Arthur Treachers in this region any more.

I've also never been to a Jack In The Box or an In and Out or a Chick Fil A.

More on Slut-Shaming: I admit, I do come across as patronizing and rigid and Patriarchal on this point simply because I have that much trouble internalizing The Female Developmental Experience - the Realities of Culturally-Constructed Differences. Women are distant and alien to me, so it's difficult to view any woman as
1. A Living Breathing Human Being like me, with Valid Wants and Goals and Hopes and Dreams
2. Someone who experienced grossly different (visaviz Men) Expectations during the span of her life.

To simplify: A blogger at Bitch Blogs invoked the Profound Talking Point that "Teenage (Female) Sexuality is a MINEFIELD."

That's all you need to realize. At Teen-age, people are the most hormonally-charged they'll ever be (until they hit Second Adolescence @ 25-26, of course), and the most immature/naive, and the most politically powerless. So of course they're going to be under a microscope; and people will Morally Panic over High School Hook-Up Culture; and Slut-Shaming will reach a fever pitch.

The fact is, because these Slutty-Acting Teens are young, immature and naive, they don't know what works for them yet. They're in some sorta Ericksonian stagea "Identity Formation". Bottom Line: They may do some Slutty things, but, yet, ultimately end up not being a Slut, because they learn that isn't "who they are."

For Teenage girls, everything is a Catch-22; in contrast, it's Muuuch more forgiving and noncontradictory and simpler and less stressful and less Minefieldy for boys. So, logically, naturally, boys become men without really realizing how different things were for them. And, So, we Men bang forgettable broad after forgettable broad without realizing that it's not really their fault for being so damned forgettable. (alert!) Nope. It's our fault, As-Men.

IT'S BECAUSE ALL WOMEN(tm) ARE HELPLESS, POWERLESS VICTIMS THAT YOU CAN'T FIND A WOMAN WHO HASN'T BEEN MANIPULATED INTO DOING ANAL PORNO VIDEOS, AND WE MUST ALL FEEL SORRY FOR THESE POOR, AGENCYLESS VICTIMS.

I made such an important and profound point last post that I'll say it again: Various styles of media all portray women as Trifling Hoes: from macho he-man rappers, to black-rimmed-glasses and cardigan-wearing death-cab loving white rappers. That latter, in fact, is more offensive because it encourages women to LAUGH THEMSELVES OFF AS TRIFLING HOES. And even if women view it lightly, humourously, semi-sarcastically, they're still believing it to some extent: "Yes, I am somewhat of a Trifling Ho and since I somewhat believe that, that somewhat shapes the expectations I place on myself, not only the expectations Others place on me."

That's not good for Women's Self Esteem. Men certainly don't view themselves in a similar light. Unless they're a "Supplicating, Self-Deprecating Beta." In which case, they haven't pulled in 218 years.

I can't make sense of the National Employment Situation. Last I checked, Unemployment was at around 9.5% (14.7% in MI), but haven't some economists been saying "the recession is officially over" and that this unemployment was a bit of a "plateau"? Or is it just that Unemployment would "stop accelerating?" Whatever the case, I just read something that said that "competition" for open jobs had just peaked, with like 6.5 people competing for every job opening. Whatever. I beat-out like at least 20 people for my job.

A-Crowning the Sibhod Mission Statement is the point that I mostly talk about myself ,and repeat myself a lot. That's just how it is.

So have a restful Sunday. Watch Amerikkkan Dad, don't S D's, and you know what to do tomorrow morning if you want to make several Thousand Dollars of Ca$h.

JIZZ-SPLATTERED ASSCHEEKS

2009-10-09T13:35:00.003-04:00

Pre:
I really thought that Wednesday Post two days ago was gonna get it outta my system. Who am I kidding. I really need to do some Sibhod more often, even it is at the expense of being Personally-Productive on a Non-Work Day. The Sibhod is fairly Personally-Productive anyway.

So I "recycled" a key phrase from last post. Big deal. I defy you to say it doesn't work.

Besides, you'll be happy to note that the single most-viewed/clicked-on post of The Sibhod Ever is "BOYS' BUTTHOLE-LICKER." This is the Jeopardy question on what that fact says about the people who use the internet.

Some other interesting Internet Traffic Facts:
"wnly teh pwnly" is another Very Popular post, whereas "I'm gonna go home and TRY to jerk-off" is a disappointingly unpopular post.

Proper:
I had some great points to make. Forgot them. Don't care. Oh yeah. I'm trying not to be so Judgemental of the types of people I'm judgemental towards: namely, Stereotypical "Trogs" who wear graphic t-shirts and use constant profanity. That's just who they are. Accept it. Forget about it. And, Women who give unsolicited advice (it seems Women give Unsolicited Advice more often than Men do.) Hell. I didn't figure out that Giving Unsolicited Advice was impolite until I was about 24 years old. Give The People a break!

I was talking to this guy who was "going back to school because he didn't want to clean up shit for the rest of [his] life". He was working as a janitor/custodian and mentioned how that with his New Union he was probably getting paid more than his boss. Which made me think about becoming a Shit-Scrubber myself. He's probably not a basement dweller; he probably gets some sort of benefits. I hatar scrubbing shit, though. I worry that would be a huge trade-off and that I could not fake my way through the interview.

Interviews are so goddam stupid. You just cannot get to "know your employee" in 1 to 3 sessions.

Anyway, the guy was a nice guy; smart, funny, nonobnoxious, who should have Upper-Tiers dangling off his Nutsa.

I don't understand how Hookers don't just go out of business. In this new "Hook-Up" millennium, you can get Willy-Nilly Easy Action from scads of 18-year-olds. Not even fugly ones, but 7+'s. In fact, the higher that number, the easier it is. People get so much, so easily, that it becomes boring and they can focus their attention on the real important things in life.

Andy Kaufman As Tony Clifton was a brilliantly genius comedy idea. I can really, really identify with that trope. I wouldn't mind actually trying something like that myself. There's something real admirable about being able to Really Offend people like T.C. did.

You can make anything misogynistic, especially if any woman at any time has had anything to do with it. Example: you know that hairdo that's popular with Women nowadays, where it's this bulbous, fwooshy wave where they brush their bangs/fringe Up, Out, n Back Again. You know what I'm talking about. There's even a ridiculous Product on a Ridiculous Infomercial which is a little plastic hump that people actually put on their heads and brush their hair over so they get a more pronounced-looking hair-hump.

Anyway, we sometimes call this "The BLOWJOB" Hairdo because it obviously infers that the lady S's so much D, that the force of the Jizz Blasting her in the face causes her hair to be sprayed-back. And most women who have this hairdo are obviously D-S'ing sluts, like Pink, or Xtina Aguilera, or Albanians, or something. I think it was a 2007 thing, but, Albanians are always behind the times.

Someone needs to do a damn study on Albanian Immigrants. It seems like the Gender Roles are even more Obnoxious than they are with Amerikkkans. How would I describe Albanians. Trashier than the trashiest Russians, with a fair amount of TrashTurkish mixed in there too. Albanians might possible be the most horrible ethnicity that ever existed. I'm endlessly fascinated in them.

If I were a Bourgeois Euro-Traveler, I'd definitely make it a point to swing by Albania. Man. That place has GOT to be a total clusterfuck.

Being totally nonproductive today. I Thought doing a Wednesday Sibhod would make me not want to write one on Friday, and I'd be able to work on my Res and my Econ like I planned. (Because I like making and following-through with Plans.) But noOoOoO.

I might go see "Capitalism A Love Story" today (not driving myself, of course, because that is something I could be Jailed for.) Pretty excited about that.

I've come to like Michael Moore less and less, to the point where I'm embarrassed to think that I may have ever "liked" him. Now he's just a guilty pleasure. I don't think he's the most Responsible Liberal. I think he's way too smug. I don't think his arguments are Nuanced or Rational. He oversimplifies The Left just as horribly as Fox News oversimplifies the Right. So I lose faith in the Intelligence of Anyone who calls themselves a "fan" of either of those.

Here's the questions that have been burning in my mind:
1. What about Norway?
2. What about Switzerland?
3. What about New Zealand?

Knowing Moore, he will go to more "high-profile, controversial" countries like Canada, Cuba, or France. Or China.

Norway is possibly the most socialist nation on earth, in the sense that there is a shitload of socialwelfareservices supported by shitloads of tax dollars. And I don't think that's a bad tradeoff at all. But I'd also wager that there is Some capitalism in Norway. Entrepreneurship, I mean. And it's not like the State Owns Everything, or even Near-Everything. There's still tons of Private Ownership.

Switzerland is apparently a lot more friendly to Capitalism, on the other hand, and more comparable to the U.S. in being Not-Socialist. But There is also not the gaping inequalities in wealth in Schweitz, nor a Health Care Crisis, nor A Culture where Poor Blacks machine-gun each other while Beautiful White 18-year old girls line-up to S their huge sociopathic criminal D's.

And I don't know a damn thing about New Zealand other than it's also friendly to Capitalism and it also does not appear to be a Shithole.

I think a lot of Amerikkkans are confusing Socialism and The Perverted Version of Communism. They are thinking of a Stalinist USSR with breadlines and shortages and where we are all slaves starving to death on a huge gov't-owned farm. They think that is "Socialism."

Whereas in Europe "Socialism" has a positive connotation because people think of "free health care, college, and retirement; beautiful educated people with a tremendously high standard of living, and not a lot of socioeconomic inequality. The downside is that you have to give up 50% of your income in taxes to pay for all this, but we think that's more than worth it."

But really that number may be more like 45%. And don't Amerikkkans already lose about Average 30% of their income anyway to taxes?

But, at the risk of really sounding like Michael Moore / Glenn Beck, "AMERIKKKANS HATE TAXES."

But I think we can all agree on that.

Apparently all the young girls like this "emo-rap" group "3H!O3" or something that does a popular song about Helen Keller, and about how All Women are Trifling Hoes. There's something squicky when All Women Gush about a song that makes a "post-ironic" statement about how All Women are Trifling Hoes. It's like All Women are post-ironically agreeing: "Yes, they're so right! We are such trifling hoes! Get us drunk and fuck us!"

Like the the preview for that retarded movie "Whip It" where Ellen Page is getting drunk and she tries to talk herself into "ONLY making-out with" the Retarded Hipster Boy. Because Alcohol MAKES you make Awkward (yet hilarious and not-a-big deal) Mistakes, i.e., having Mandatory Imminent Facial Sex with losers. The really weird thing is that there are many women who would not even analyze this statement, yet view it as unequivocal Truth.

Like this annoying girl I was eavesdropping on the other day where she was talking openly and loudly about her attempts at a Open Relationship and how they should be able to Still Have Fun And Hook Up With Other People Right?

Again: if this is normal, I'm very glad to be Abnormal as F00k.

I'm not saying They're horrible people, I'm just saying I think they're even Weirder than they would think I am. Completely Unrelatetoable.

Did you know I don't even have an Immortal album on my computer? I'mma right that wrong right now. "At the Heart of Winter" ? YES PLZ!

To the Cherished Reader I tried to help with his Music-"Stealing": hopefully You were able to produce some results there. Googlify, googlify. Don't buy-into what that Blowhard Roissy says, Google is an Alpha Engine.

This new movie "Couples Retreat" looks so goddamn bad: Kristen Bell AND Malin Akerman AND Vince Vaughn AND Jason Bateman AND a guy shamefully ripping-off Hank Azaria? God fucking Damn, SON.

Good for you if you know who All those people are. Because they all eat balls. Except Hank Azaria.

I think what it all boils down to is: Every time A Given Person "hooks-up" with a Douchebag/ette (thanx to the blogger who coined "douchebagguette" I cannot remember who you are and I'm too lazy to search for a link), then it's all the more easy to Lose Respect for A Given Person. Willy-Nilly Hooking-Up shows a lack of respect for Others and for oneself, so it logically follows that the Hooker-Upper loses respect in the eyes of others. I just don't like it.

Haven't you always wanted to go up to an obnoxious person of the opposite gender (so-called "attractive gender" for heterosexuals) and call them a "HEMMERHOID"? Wouldn't that be pretty hilarious and satisfying?

Who'da thunk it. Turns out "Curb Your Enthusiasm" has not ended, but, indeed, had a recent Fall Premiere of a New Season, AND the entire cast of "Seinfeld" will be reunited in this Sunday's episode. (Or maybe even it was Last Sunday.) So How come all we hear about is "Mad Men" and "Glee" and "Entourage"?

Whenever I read the weekly papers and see the "Out On The Town" page full of photos of Dirty, Smiling D-S'ers who go to The Bar on Saturday Night, I am happily reaffirmed in my decision to Never go to The Bar Ever Again. It's Myspace come to horrifying life.

Immortal "In the Heart of Winter" and Taake "Nattestid" both sound promising of a solid B-. Which, for music, on the first listen, is F00kin' Awesome.

Alright. Time to get back to work on your damn Resumes and Internship-Hunting. Don't eve think of going out to the godforsaken Bar this weekend, either.

I forgot to mention last time, but I WILL pay You $11,5 to network me into a Subsistence Job. Offer's Open, All The Time.

FILLIN'-UP FIDO

2009-10-07T20:11:00.011-04:00

Fore:
It's reached the point where Two (2) Sibhods a week will be best, both for You and for me. You know. It's an Action, it's something to Do, it'll get one o'er the proverbial Hump. Task-Focused Accomplishment. As for You, well, you get a somewhat shorter godsdamn blog. Which is also good for me That You get that. Even if I have to do some "Recycling" to come-up with Post Titles.

Dedic:
I'll dedicate this one to this one guy I met about three to five Lives ago, when he was a Youth and I was the Paedogogue corrupting him. Well, today is his birthday, and now I dedicate Sibhods to people for/on their birthdays. Anyway, he too knows the pleasure of writing a good long blog, but he's gotta do it a little more frequently. And hopefully not getting necklaced or necktied or neckerchiefed or whatever those goddam hooting savages do to white amerikkkan boys down there.

"The Body"

It's a shame I have never really used the term "Slut-Shaming" on here. Although I've certainly talked about Slut-Shaming before, and now I feel like talking about it again. Which I think I actually do. Still. We'd all do well to use the term "Slut-Shaming" several times a day with our professional colleagues.

Maybe my constant "career-changing" is a sign that I have ADD and can't "focus" on one career path. Let's assume that there IS a difference between Voluntary and Involutary Career-Changing. Analogous if not synonymous to the difference between Quitting, and being Laid-off.

There's really no valid reason for taking physical brick-and-mortar classes other than:
1. You have a valid reason to S the instructor's D in person, thus getting a better recommendation
2. It's a valid reason to get out of the house and do something several scheduled times per week
3. You get to put cute young women in your Spank-Bank(tm)
4. You even have a more-than-valid reason to approach these Spankoffable Young Women, - as opposed to, say, complete strangers in the grocery store or bank - and perhaps score Hot Lunch Action with them.

I've decided to fill my life up with so much school that I'll be like one of those "Ambitious Young Women" who are always complaining about how much homework and studying they have to do. Truly, not All Women(tm) are Shamelessly-Slutty, Career-Ignorant AssCrack-Exhibitionists: some of Them(tm) are School Martyrs! So, I've decided to be a School Martyr too! "Sorry! Can't take 45 mins to hang out with you This term! I might be able to pencil you in for between-semester break, but then, I will be Working extra hours then! Sorry!"

While there is a contractual ceiling on the number of hours I'm permitted to work, no such thing exists for Classes. I can take as many classes as I want. I should probably take at least 20 credits a semester, right?

I started watching the movie version of "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone." That's how I'm rocking this tip: read the book, then watch the movie. The book was decent if not overwhelming. It only took me about 2 months to read, haha. Cute little story. The movie was pure enjoyment and was directed by Chris Columbus of "Home Alone" fame, and definitely had that good ol' "innocence and nostalgia" feel to it. Which I liked. It was a little long at Two and One-half hours, but it still gave off positive Vibes. But it did cleverly fool me into thinking I felt "semi-lonely", because, for some unknown reason, it seemed like one of those movies you could easily watch "with" someone, if ya know what I mean. Slurp slurp slurp.

I'm starting the "Chamber of Secrets" book, and might even finish it in One month, ha. I suspect this is where the HP Saga really starts gaining real momentum.

While 19-year-old Emma Watson is obviously a "Smokin Hawt" (i.e., marriagably and getituptoably Beautiful) young woman, as an 11-year old, she was downright Adorable. It will be interesting watching her "Mature" throughout the movies. My point: Emma Watson wipes her arse with Emily Osment's Face. I would totally do a three-way with Emma Watson and Kay Panabaker. Note that Emma W would still ultimately edge-out Kay P, and ascend into the First-Tier O' Ridiculous Beauty.

In other words, I'm going on the record with the official statement that (19-year-old) Emma Watson is The Most Beautiful Woman Who Has Ever Existed and Who Will Ever Exist. So Beautiful it kinda Hurts to look at her. I cannot believe people get to touch her.

So naturally, I get squicked-out when I think of her sucking'n'fucking European Discotheque Dicks, spurting black jizz all over her beautiful face: Greeks, Serbs, Albanians, Macedonians, Thracians, Gauls, Armenians, Crimeans, Tartars, Turks, Women-Enslavers, etc. Does not compute. Cognitive Dissonance. And yet it happens.

I really do J'adore the actual character-of Hermione Granger: Ice Cold Bitch who is all Anal about following the rules and getting Perfect Grades. With no damned interest in guzzling booze Or jizz. She's a polite, prudish princess who doesn't even know what a D looks like.

In Conclusion, Emma W is The One Best, most Perfect, HyperFirst-Tier Young Woman Ever. (Even if you can go on the internet and easily find undoctored pictures of her genitals, nipples and anus.) I guarantee you she's going to appear in some more fanfics by yours truly.

I'm very proud of myself for Rebuilding/ReStarting The Spreadsheet. It's a lot more easy on the eyes now, too. Stripped-down for Simplicity and ease-of-use. Gave it the Ol' Occam Shave. And, specifically to Stroke my Goal-Achieving Ego, I put an "Apartment Savings Fund" in there. Which, between now and Aug201X, will swell to include like 4monthsworth of rent in a reasonably priced-and-located space.

Whenever a celebrity or Professional Athlete is involved with an alcohol-related infraction (Miguel Cabrera Oct 09), their BAC is always less than the BAC for which I was (rightfully) thrown in the slammer. I'm probably in the same heavyweight league as Mel Gibson or David Hasselhoff.

Heard about a new movie "Paranormal Activity" which sounds watchable. I need one of those. Sorta makes me think of The Video Bill Pullman receives in "Lost Highway". Although that comparison is pry far too generous.

It has taken over two weeks for the ebay store to deliver my BURZUM tshirt to me. By far, the slowest delivery of any good I've purchased off ebay. Is there some kind of law that heavy-metal t-shirt companies don't have to abide by the same rules as Regular Businesses when it comes to customer service?

Yes, I AM That guy who thinks he's the next Bill Gates or Warren Buffett or whatever, just because he took one intro econ class. But I'm really digging it. I'mma even take the next class.

I saw a really attractive ("cute"; I prefer "cute" rather than "smokin hawt", for yawnably predictable reasons) young woman the other day. Totally dateably cute. If I looked at her too much, I might have started to actually get excited. Me! Excited! I think I'm starting to get a "type" for leggy, lanky brown-eyed brunettes with flat or small-heart-shaped bottoms who don't wear makeup and who don't go tanning. (See Below: The Pedestal comes unceremoniously crashing down)

I braved the fear of Direct Personal Judgement and had a meeting with a Career Counselor the other day. It went surprisingly well. I was better prepared than I thought. Since I haven't really started The New Job Search, there wasn't a whole lot to discuss other than getting my Res and CL in ready-to-go shape. And I got some good new ideas for that. Hint: it involved changing my res from the Traditional Chronological Format to a more "Skill-Based, Combination" format. The lady was really nice and totally sold me on this idea. So that's good. We'll see if this "produces" any "results", however.

I just don't like people who never bombed an interview. More accurately, not even "bombing" an interview, so much as "not being the best interviewee, thus not getting the job." Yes, not getting the job is humbling and discouraging in the short run, but you learn valuable lessons. For example, as an ignorant kid, I would completely not think to send a thank-you letter. Moral of the story: always send a damn thank-you letter. I had to learn that the hard and slow way.

The recent episode of "The Cleveland Show" totally slandered Chloe Sevigny by not-so-subtly implying that her genitalia smelled worse than slaughterhouse-slurry. While I'm not thrilled with what her and Vincent Gallo did on film (and off), I'm really scratching my head as to why McFarlane and Co singled her out at all, as she's pretty much fallen off the face of the earth, and, drity indie D-S'er or not, she's still a sorta Attractive Woman. 6,000,000,000 times the woman Zooey Deschanel wishes she could be. Lord. I hate Zooey D, and you should, too.

Who recently "tied the knot" with Ben Gibbard. Seriously, folks. You can't make this stuff up.

For some Rando Reason I view November as "Beard Month". So, I'm excited to [try to] grow a Beard next month.

What's the best way to Treat Alcoholism? Is Alcoholism a Disease or Not? Some people staunchly deny that it is. I would say that the Word "Disease" really does not fit, but, at the same time, I do believe it is a Valid, Complicated Addiction. The best way to treat it is to make the Alcoholic not want to drink any more. Many alcoholics do not really know why they drink. And even if they did, simply having the insight "why" isn't enough to make them WANT to not-drink.

Generally, I think people grossly underestimate the difficulty of treating the addiction.

At my Current School, the general policy is that you supply your own Scantrons. You go to the on-campus bookstore and pay 25 cents plus tax for one scantron. I like to call them Scamtrons. Some Instructors (we call them "Instructors") make you do weekly homeworks on the Scamtrons. This is unconscionable.

Writing my New song is going to be tuff on-account of my Low-Energy. The other day I could have played gitbox, but I was raging tired at 3:30 pm, and took a strong 2 hour powernap. I was not feeling too creative at that time anyway. My point is, [Creative] Energy is a prerequisite for Crafting Grim Black Metal Riffage. Without [creative] energy, you find yourself playing the same banal crap every time you pick up the instrument.

Do I just live in a White-Trash County, or are Light-Blue-Coloured Blue Jeans making a comeback?

Honestly, it's not really so much white trash at all anymore. It's a ton of Eastern European FOB trash.
Come on! "Everybody's a little bit racist!"

Shoulda been an Econ major.

is it "fair" or "just" that (misogyny alert) a woman could have both attractive T's as well as an attractive A? Some people get shafted with just an attractive one-or-the-other; some even get utterly rageraped with none. What a world.

I, myself, and millions of others, are fans of Morning Talk Radio. For me, listening to music can require too much attention/effort in the early AM, whereas Talk Radio does not. Then there's the added benefit that listening to people have a "normal conversation" might "prep" you to engage in normal (i.e., nonawkward small talk) talk yourself. And you get "informed" (i.e., made aware) of whatever stupid topics they're talking about: news, sports, celebrities. I'm not saying they make "informed commentary" on these topics. It's more of a simple memory jog.

I used to believe that Talk was better suited as Function-over-form: talk about something meaningful, or shut the Fuck up. Now I've reversed this position. Form over function all day, baby. You can be babbling about the most inane, banal shite, but if you Sound Right, you can turn your audience into Willing, Smiling Slaves.

My main point is, that I'd like to do a Podcast version (i.e., audio file / mp3) of the SIBHoD. Because: it's easy, I like to diversify my mediaie, and, it'd probably be fun. I could easily do one by myself, but I'd definitely like to do one with other person(s). In Imitation of Witty On-Air Banter. Talking about all the Important Stuff the SIBHoD typically talks about. But we would not be going off into la-la land. I'm all about efficiency. Economizing. Ten to fifteen minutes of focused, semi-structured chatter. Not stupid High School Radio Bullshit, but somewhat premeditated Talking Points, and semi-measured Back-And-Forth.

This is not "Anal Rigidity". This is structure. This would keep the listener and the participators on the edge of their seats.

Just throwing that out there. I have at least a couple people in mind, and I suspect I would not have to twist their arms too hard.

"Teleconferencing" is obv something I want to incorporate, but the technical details of recording a skype or a googletalk or what-have-you into a sound file is not something I've actually played-around with yet.

Just Planting A Seed here. I do not want to do this Right this very second. Like I just said, we're gonna need a little bit of Prep. Sometime in the next 6 months, though, would not be unreasonable. Haha.

Also, I would do Voice-Disguising, because I do not want to jeopardise any of our Political/Professional Careers. As much as we'd like to sit here and speak freely, we still have to Work For A Living.

I got some Meijer(r)-Brand Raisin Bran the other day at Meijer. Let's just say it did what I bought it for.

Have you ever felt Actually, Really Hungry for something that wasn't Food? You know what I'm Talkin' About.

The sad, ugly truth is, there are pathetic, desperate bastards out there that would slit their own mothers' throats just to get a little taste.

I was approached by a Young Salesman the other day. He was selling Packages of Coupons for area businesses. At first I thought he was giving them away: "Hell Yeah I'll take some Hungry Howies coupons". But no. You were supposed to pay $20 for a collection of coupons that were to save you more than $20 in the future. "Let me stop you right there", I said in the most polite manner possible.

Anyway, my point is, I could tell he hadn't been doing this for years. His sales pitch faltered more than a couple times, is what I'm saying. And so my heart went out to him, because he was just another guy desperate for a job when all there is is sales jobs trying to sell crap nobody needs to people wot don't go no monay so he can't reach his quota so he's gotta find another sales job or go to school to get microsoft certified but if he's a douchebag he can always go to school to become a cop.

Grrrrrr. I'm hungry!

Sometimes I imitate people I haven't even met; I imitiate second-parties' imitations of third parties, like, for example, some Lowe's employee in Illinois who apparently has some real funny mannerisms/catchphrases.

Today was a real windy, grey day, the first real good "Autumn day." I found that Emperor's "In the nightside eclipse" fit the day like A-Carn's tongue fits in b. . . . .

Windy autumn days like this, I want to chop my own balls off. It's not worth having Any Libido Whatsoever.

I saw this one really cute girl, easily in Top Three Tiers O' Attractiveness. Serially-Dateable Hawt, in other words. (see above) I couldn't help noticing she was (vainly) looking at her Myspace page - information which I sneakily "filed away for later." Then, later, I went and (easily) found her myspace page, and learned some disquieting facts:

1. She is only 18 years old
2. She has a lot of Shirtless Douchebags on her friends list, leaving brotastic comments ending with "sexy" and "baby" and "cuttie" etc. 20 year-old guys who like cars and weed and tats and not wearing shirts... pure troggy uh?
3. It was implied that she sought out the attention of such trogbags ("thx for adding me babby")
4. The word "NICKELBACK" appeared more than Three times
5. She uploaded photo albums with names like "I wuz bored", with 100+ pictures of herself.

I totally shook my head. But I thought she had looked like such a Dork! The type of girl who wouldn't even know what to Do with a D!

Of course, she needn't be a "Shameful Slut", but, just the fact that she Likes The Attention, that, I found that Squicky. Why would you not discourage that kind of attention?

Readers: "Because. Because this is A Patriarchy and her hands are tied. She can't do anything but smile at them and implicitly encourage them, because if she god-forbid asserts her not-worshipful opinion of them, then she runs the risk of provoking their anger, and of them Raping her."

So this probably means I should stop smiling at her creepily, uh?

I know what I do is as far from normal as you can get. But if "normal" is what I think it is, I cannot get far enough away from it. I bet she's not a good writer either. Those dudes definitely aren't.

There's guys out there that wipe their asses with 10-Year Droughts. There's guys out there who haven't touched a woman in 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 years. Easy.

I know Of a person-who-Hooks, but that person seems kinda "icky." I'd take a Normal Girl over a Hooker anyday.

Eh. I'm just "antsy" because I'm having trouble getting my "designs" to work, and because I think "Slutty" Behaviour is "Shameful". When it's really not. I read a great comment on one of those Bitch Blogs where an Empowerful 18-year old girl discussed how she did Facials because she was In Mutual Love With her boyfriend and wanted to please him Sexually and she didn't have a problem with The Concept of facials; but they stopped doing it because The Jizz Stung Her Eyes.

Anyway. I'm just trying to get an Awkward Girl to hang-out with me. But maybe she's only awkward to me because she doesn't want to hang-out with me. If I were a 20-year old vacuumhead with bad writing and tattoos who smoked weed, on the other hand, she'd be Raising Her Eyebrows at me.

Who gives a shit. I haven't gotten it up to a woman in 20 years, I can go another 20 more, easily. No sweat. I'm focusing on Building my career and getting out of "Wayne's World" anyway.

Bottom Line: people's myspaces are annoying. If people's facebooks are even 25% as annoying as their Myspaces, I'm glad I'm not on it. Fucking Trogs.

Yeah, I'm wasting valuable Energy Time when I should be doing Econ Homework, but, goddamnit, I really wanted to let some of the good ol'-fashioned oldskool SIBHoD rip, and I was willing to pay that price. Opportunity Cost.

I'm not sure I've ever seen a man-woman relationship I liked. Everyone was always in such a clusterfuck, that I'd invariably say, "Why the hell would I ever want That?"

But then I think of this guy I knew about 6 years ago. He was "In a Rel" with a young lady and they appeared to have their mutual Shit Together. Not sure if she was "My Type," personally, but I did admire and respect Their Relationship. It had a certain lack of obnoxiousness to it. I can see why they upgraded to the semi-permanent basis there.

Don't worry, readers, I'm not talking about any of You. You've all had Clusterfuck relationships. (Get the fuck out of those while You're still young.)

That's all for my Boys'-Buttholes-Lovin' Rant (tm) today.

I'm a really good Worker. I go above and beyond, I'm cheerful and pleasant and friendly, and I get along with everybody, so it's a shame my Labour Resources are being Underemployed at a part-time, benefitsless, sorta-dead-end job. Still. I haven't found anything better around these parts. And I def don't want to join the ranks of The Salesmen.

I was gonna make some sort of remark about how it's just-as shameful - if not more shameful - to be a guy who Bangs Sluts than it is to be the actual Slut, but I forgot the especially compelling wording I'd dreamed-up for the argument. At any rate, shit's all weak.

I was also going to say something about "Ass-Spreading, Jizz-Splattered Sluts", where You, the Unswerving Reader, would swoop-in and offer:

"Classwar, with you spilling all the grisly details of your Inner Life, aren't You kinda just like the Ass-Spreading, Jizz-Splattered Slut who spreads'n'presents his/her Jizz-Splattered Asscheeks
to the world through the Art of Photography?"

where I would rebut something like,

"Yeah, only I'm not actually spreading them in-a-photo for the world to look-at; besides, you can't prove I'm not holding anything back."

Which is the take-home Truth. I just wanted to put a certain Visualization in your mind's eye.

Splat, Splat, Splat.

So try not to get any diseases between now and the weekend.

CHILD MOLESTRAVAGANZA

2009-10-02T19:05:00.010-04:00

Fore:
I've been trying to reach a Homework Goal today, but I keep getting distracted: by 8tracks, by GoogReader, by the SIBHoD. The "Opportunity Cost" of the Usual Friday SibHod has been: Getting On-Par with one of my classes. So I said, Fuck the Sibhod, I have to do this. And I did some hw, very slooooowly, still getting sucked-into the Sibhod.

In other words, I totally Wristed this herre post out and thus feel a shred of Shame to attach my name to it, but, it is still better than most stuff in the Blogosphere.

Proper:

You might be cool iff:

1. You don't have to be awake Sunday Morning, but you're so low-energy you fall asleep before 9pm Saturday night and then wake up before 9am on Sunday Morning.

Genuine High Achievers need to have a Spastic amount of energy; they need to be busy 12-16 hours a day with school, work, and related activities in order to maintain their High-Achieving Lifestyle.

Just thinking about it makes me sleepy. I can do a 12-hour day if need be, but even an 8-hour day makes me tired.

Tony Robbins would be proud of me. I sat down and made a Timeline of my Two-Year Plan. Drew it out on paper. It was just a simple line with a few marks and dates on it. At the right side is "Aug2011: move out." So, you have no right to not S my D for being a so-called "Basement Dweller / Failure To Launch".... until after Aug2011.

I then divided the intervening time into 8 3-month blocks, and delegated certain tasks to each block.

Profoundly Powerful. If any Loser-At-Life is feeling like A Loser-At-Life, I'd recommend doing this for a quick, solid "ME!"-Fix.

So I figured, "Why stop there?" and decided to "make up for the lost time" I could have been making other Timelines, so I went on a Timelinestravaganza.

The main one You need concern yourself with is: I have planned to "release" a NEW SOLO PROJECT SONG by The End of 2009. And it's going to be Hell Of Informed-by/Influenced-by the changing-of-seasons we're presently living through. If you're a fan of Fall, you might well be a fan of the New Upcoming Hit Single.

It will be A Challenge to meet this deadline, but definitely not impossible. I authorize All Sinister Readers to leave one smartaleck comment if I do not follow-through on this Goal.

The Mandatory Homework Reading Assignment O' The Week comes from Bitch Blogs, "Is No Sex Still Sex Positive."

This article describes a Crucial happy medium which never gets talked about, but, to me, is both obvious and fantastic. Read it. Read it now. Think about where your genitalia has been, and where it is going to be.

"Abstinence" has become a curseword for Freethinkers, as it's connoted with an Incomplete Sex Education which the Feds funnel billion$ into, poisoning the minds of The Future. Fine. At the other extreme, "Sex positive" has the connotation of "Sex is great! Have lots of it!"

I've always been of the opinion that sex is a Clusterfuck, not just for me, but for lots of people. The difference between me and everyone else is: they just keep getting into Clusterfuck after Clusterfuck after Clusterfuck, whereas I said, "I don't Want a clusterfuck. It's just not worth it. I'mma take my time to find people with whom it wouldn't be a clusterfuck. Otherwise, I don't even want it. No thanks."

That's essentially what "sex-positive abstinence" is, or, to paraphrase the author, no sex is muuuuch better than clusterfucksex.

Believe it.

The only tiny qualm I have about the article is how the idea of "sex positive abstinence" totally blew the author's mind. But this only strengthens my argument that: what is obvious to some, does not even occur to others. So when they realize The Obvious, it's an Epiphany to them.

(Then There's my other Stock Qualm about Heterosexual Feminists: if they have such a big damn problem with The Patriarchy, shouldn't they have a Hard Time finding Patriarchy-Bashing Men to fill-up their Holes? Or do most Heterosexual Feminists make a clean separation between Sex and Ideology, similar to what most animals do between Sex and Feeling? I'm not so sure there's a Modern Feminists' Consensus on this, but it would seem that Most Feminists are all about shining a light on the Ideological Underpinnings of The Sex Act...but does it logically follow that a Real Feminist can have ethical sex with a hawt- but Totally Patriarchy-Endorsing - man? Sure, the main thing is that the individual does what they have to do to get off - or is it? Doesn't sex-positivism endorse the idea that it should be a mutually-satisfactory experience, with both partners communicating their desires to each other, and reaching a sexually-economic compromise? And if the Patriarchal man was Sex-Educated on Anal Sluts [see the article that inspired the Article O The post, about Patriarchal Pornography "normalizing" Patriarchal (i.e., woman-marginalizing) Anal Sex, which, statistically speaking, You've probably been a party to] and the whole while he's trying to get the Feminist to Engage in Woman-Marginalizing Screaming Anal Sex, could the feminist consider this sex experience to be a personal WIN???!!!)

Remember, Women: Real Feminists don't have Drunken Willy-Nilly Gaping Anal Sex with Woman-Haters!

My buddy Tony Robbins is a big fan of action. He's converting me into Action Fandom. My problem is, I think too much, and act too little. I find that if I Do something for 5 minutes without thinking "is it perfect?" is very rewarding, and builds momentum for further action. For example, the other day I checked some thangs off my to-do list (Cities' Economies Research, Rebuild of Spreadsheet). MyActions were not perfect, but they were at LEAST 87% Perfect, and a hell of a lot better than 0%.

I am going to earn $75 for doing a "consumer research study" where it sounds like they are going to feed me red robin. "YES PLZ", in Girlspeak.

Should I drive illegally to go see Bob Dylan? Seeing BD is kinda on my bucket list. And I'd much rather see him at the Fox Theatre (Friday, Nov 6), than see him as part of some huge multiasshole bill, in some outdoor shithole. I could even budget away the $50 using the new Spreadsheet-Rebuild.

I met an interesting young man - an 18-year old Boy, really - in one of my classes who, in some ways, reminds me of my wasted youth, golden opportunities missed, years flushed down the drain for my lack of longterm planning and ambition and a Attitude-O'-Gratitude and power. He is determined to get into U-Penn, or at least Umich, using the community college as a jumping-off point.

His goals set him apart from 95% of the students, and he absolutely has the intiative/action to back it up: he has done his homework (both proverbial and non) and has a very good idea of what he must do, and he is well on his way: aceing classes, securing recommendations, planning a "what makes me unique" admissions letter, exhaustively researching the Univs to assess their "goodness of fit." Talking with him for 5 minutes, one can tell that he is superintelligent and certainly Definition Caliber for a "Highly Selective University." Superintelligent even to the point of being borderline Autistic.

My point is, I would be greatly disappointed for him if he did not get (at least!) into UMich; If that school did not view the "Rigour" of this community college as being "Up To Snuff". I told him I knew for a fact that there have been students who'd transferred from this CC to UM (and there have been.) But U-Penn aka Ivy League? "Every fiber of my being" wants that to be possible, but I worry about the extent that Higher Education has become a Bourgeoicracy.

And then I couldn't help but think: if I hadn't been so selfish and immature and bratty, and I had shown his Attitude of Initiative when I was his age, I could have started at the C.C. and transferred a bunch of credits to UM. Instead, I wasted my White Middle-Class Privilege of going to UM because I was too damn irresponsible, immature, unmotivated, unfocused, angsty, etc.

So I'm kinda living vicariously through this Boy. I certainly was not forthcoming about my own going to UM. So I enthusiastically encouraged him to go to our College's Academic Counselling Dep't and to "tell them exactly what you told me."

But he was not the Typical High-School Overachiever, I suspect, largely in part of his Slight Autism/Assburgers. One of those people that's too unique for school. In a more bourgeois community, he would have been sent to a "special school for the superintelligent."

Here's an unfuckwithably awesome Zen puzzle for you:

Aren't Autistics/Assburgers Smart Enough To Know That They Have A/A?

I sat down and figured out my 10-year plan. There's pretty much no rational reason whatsoever to stay in this state (We only stay because of Emotional Reasons - connexions to Family and such). It really seems to be a form of Natural Selection: this is the MicroEvolutionary Test that people in this time and place are faced with, and you can either be Adaptive and move, or be a failure and stay. The "shades of gray" are present, of course, as always, and are kind of "interesting": staying here and thriving, or moving and still failing. Hm. Texas looks pretty good right now. Maybe Wash State. Or DC area.

The other day I started getting real tired during Acct class when he was doing Cash Flows on the board and my attention was waning. Then I started to get nihilistic. I just reminded myself that "I AM TIRED." Then I fell asleep before 9 pm and slept fitfully, and had an "EPIC" "End-of-the-world" dream. In this one, an alien radioactive plague was creeping over the land, killing humanity. I was initially with my family, then, in Pt 2, I was with all sorts of friends. At one point I was in a giant AA meeting that filled a gymnasium.

There was this sense that the part with my friends was very Cinematic, and "Darren Aronofsky" came specifically to mind. Friends started mysteriously disappearing. We weren't sure where to go to get away from The Plague, just that we had to move fast, and move to a high altitude. Everyone in the group was trying to find bikes so as to move faster, but not everyone had a bike. Eventually we found some bikes that were really tiny, fold-up scooters, but they were real weird, and I couldn't figure out how to get mine to work.

It was all pretty disturbing, and not what I'd call restful sleep. I woke up for at least 2 solid blocks: around midnight, and around 4 am. Besides the dreams being disturbing, they're also Annoying: Esp when I'm tired, I want to go to sleep to Rest and recharge energy. I recharged a bit, though, but still.

New day, new way. I PWNED the first Accting exam, getting 100%, tying for "First Place" in the class. I hid my grade from the people around me, and the Cute-But-Obnoxious Girl sitting next to me snorted about "Dorks" when the teacher announced that there were two Perfect scores. CBO Girl is cute but I think she has an eating disorder AND bipolar (or borderline) disorder, and every time she opens her mouth to chat to the girl next to her, she usually says something rather obnoxious. And she has a dumb tattoo on her arm. I pray she does not have a you-know-what-kind-of-tattoo too. BAD NEWS BEARS.

I occasionally get epiphanies/insights, and they are the Most Obvious Things (see above: Feminist Sex Rant). What I've learned is that I very often forget the most obvious things, and it's good to remind myself of them. I wonder if other people do this too.

Been looking for some Role Models w.ith r.espect t.o Careers and Fully-Realized lives - people who are 80% happy with their jobs and families, and appear to have made it into Middle Age somewhat satisfied.

In my Ten Year Plan, I am Almost married at 36, but I do not have any children. Perish The Thought.

I have been So Irrationally Resistant to going to the Career Center and having a sit-down with a Career Counselor, but I Plan on finally doing that in the next couple of weeks. I hope they even Do do sit-downs. At no added expense.

I have decided, longtermly, to invest in a Tascam DP-004 Pocketstudio, a $150 4-track digital recorder that seems to pride itself on its elegant simplicity and ease-of-use. Which is exactly what I'm looking for. Essentially an upgrade of their cassette-tape 4-track. Which I could get off ebay for about $50. I'd pay $30, but not $50, for that. Shit, man, I got a SONG to write and record before the end of the year. Now that's a decent challenge.

I'll give you one small teaser, the song is "All About Autumn".

The Boys' B.H. L.'er Klee Irwin insists that the healthy person has 2 comfortable, easy BMs a day. That kind of "regularity" seems suspiciously a little too regular to me.

I really, really, really need some new kicks. Tennies. Sneakers. What do Urbans call them? Jordans?

It's entirely possible to drink more caffeine than you realize, in that 15-minute window of time after the coffee goes down your throat and before it actually kicks in. It's like Binge Drinking.

Been seeking the vaunted "flow" wot all the shrinks talk about in hushed tones. It just sounds so Natural. I'll get it right one of these days.

On an episode of "Wife Swap", there was one little girl who liked to play music, and she played drums with an adorable band of little girls. Great. My problem was, she was amazingly bad. She'd probably played drums longer/more frequently than I do, but I can confidently say I can still play drums better than her. I thought kids learned skills more readily than Adults. Maybe I'm just a Natural.

I'm just gonna come right out and say the "where the wild things are" movie looks like TOTAL SCHEIDT, just from watching the trailer, with its Gayass Arcade Fire song (the #1 Worst thing about the trailer; this song might be the WORST, GAYEST song ever, by the worst, gayest band ever). I'm also not crazy about Dave Eggers and all his female fans and his 842 Valencia Teenage Afterschool Writing Clubs where Writing Dorks get hawt-make-out-action after highschool because they're "Gifted Writers". Fuck Yoouuuuuuhooooohoooo. Develop a drinking problem, listen to Black Metal, and live in your parents' basement for the rest of your pathetic godforsaken underemployed life, then you might be able to start thinking about pretending to being a writer. I'd much rather read/watch Harry Potter. But that's just me.

Chronic Fatigue is making a comeback. I've been trying to force myself to look at Accounting for the past 4 hours, but I cannot even manage 5 minutes.

I'm more socially awkward than Average People, but if you pair-me up with a Normal, Average person, I can definitely "fake it till I make it", and come across as friendly as I wanna be. I can do basic body language and not be obnoxious; can be pleasant and downright friendly, even if I'm not an unawkwardly chatty cathy. But if you put me with someone who's also Kind of awkward, I'll still be friendly, but awkwardness will ultimately prevail. Having a conversation in these situations is like HERDING CATS.

"So why does it even matter, Classwar? Why would you try to put so much effort into something that is doomed to be awkward? That's not efficient or resourceful!"

Those are great points, reader. I just don't know Why. I guess, ostensibly, I could possibly get smitten by awkward young Women, and, somehow - I don't know exactly How or Why - but that Smit leads to the desire to make effort. I think the explanation is that select people can be a Ray Of Sunshine on a Cloudy Day, just by being Around, so You wouldn't mind being around them a little more, because You're really not Against Sunshine. Per Se.

"What's that, Classwar? You mean you don't hate everybody?"

I told you, I'm a pretty friendly guy actually. I chat with 45-year-old career-changing laid-off autoworkers like it's going out of style. But most times I like to keep my Personal Space. Some times, though, I don't mind letting others into My Personal Space. (insert gay buttsex joke). Besides, I'm not talking about Me Per Se. As a Writer, it's incumbent upon me to Think about all sorts of Situations, even if they don't really happen.

But I do think I might Fetishize/"Pedestalize" women who are not "overly stereotypically girly." You know. "Stereotypically girly" = With their Tits'n'Ass hanging out, or wearing pink clothes, or wearing ass-clinging sweatpants that say "PINK" on the fat ass, or who wear lots of Makeup, or say "like/um" a lot and act all coy and stupid and obnoxious, or who S lots of Albanian Ds. I'm all about the stereotype "tomboy" and "girl next door" and "plain jane" and "prudes" and "boring" and "dorky" and "awkward" women who prefer staying in 'n'doing homework on a Friday night, to going out 'n' dancing 'n' getting drunk 'n' S'ing Ds. No makeup, No ass-pants, no ass hanging-out, no pink shite, just non-ass-showing jeans and a hoodie. And sneakers. Without Heels. Maybe you could even hit the jackpot and score some Face Acne.

So what the hell do you even call this fetish?

In order to have enough Energy to be near the top of my game, I must be In Bed, Lights Out by 9 pm. This is a hardass bargain. A Tall Drinka Watta.

I think about the Concept of Women a lot because, As-A-Writer, I'm fascinated by the whole "ray of sunshine" Trope. My " writerly radar" for pinpointing Rays Of Sunshine is often really, really wrong. Other times, though, I feel it's Right-On. I can't prove this, though.

"Don't tell me! Tell The Shrink!!!"

You have apparently forgotten the SIBHoD's mission of showing Solidarity to Paralyzingly Lonely, Sunshine-Starved, Cripplingly Discontent Men.

Fuck Accounting. I am in no mood. I'll look at it tomorrow. I had a semi-useful day after all, today I set up an "interview/info sesh" with a Career Counselor, SON. I am going to get my resume/cover letter Shredded.

Maybe I had a little too much caffeine this morning. I'm also having some GI issues. I slept a little better than usual, but still not awesome. Not as on top of my game as I would like to be. Feel a little bit on-edge. Like I'm on the Rag. Literally. Well, I did almost poop my pants several times. Funny how that never stops being a valid concern throughout the course of the lifespan. Even ladies worry about it.

I should probably be an entrepreneur, right? I don't really care how I get the money; my goal is the money itself. Money is its own reward, an end unto itself. For The Money, I am willing to work Hard.

Of course, my home state seems to be about as unfriendly to job-Makers as it is to job-Seekers.

I wonder, too: in our willy-nilly hook-up culture, is there any demand for my "Entrepreneurial Ace-In-The-Hole", Hang-Out Hookers? The ideal customer for Those is of an older generation, and getting older. Maybe I c/should provide Exisistential Meaning-Endowing Prudes to Teens.

Of course, getting them to Want that is the trve problem here.

Ours is a culture which pushes people into gender roles, which, in turn, are definition obnoxious. And it's Cripplingly Depressing that people are forced into obnoxiousness. But that's just the way it is. I can't expect everyone to fight it, let alone fight it and Win. Our Hands Are Tied.

I was recently invited to this thing called 8tracks which seems to be a cross between Pandora and LastFm. You make you own minimum 8-song mixes and then people can listen to them. Full Songs. 8-Tracks Co has apparently done their Legal Homework here. That, it goes without saying, is not the type of Lawyer I could ever imagine a Prospective Lawyer imagining Themself to be.

Anyway, I made a few Godawful and Ridiculous mixes just clownin' roun', not doing real easy homework. I used the following for my 8tracks Profile Picture. As with everything I create, I thought it was Fuckin' Awesome:

And that's exactly yet another piece of evidence as to why I need an entire Departmentsworth of PhD students studying my every move, my every thought. I don't know exactly what it means, but I do know it's Profound.

Erm. 8 tracks might just obviate my want/need to do Songs O' The Post. But I just can't say yet. So,

THE LIED O' THE POST is:

"DER ERLKONIG" by Schubert. Because I'm so Fuckin' Awesome, I'm the first person ever to think about doing a Black Metal version of it.

Post:

You wanna make $11,000, you know what to do. Think of the $11,000 as Your Incentive.

All my warnings about the Risks of Unprotected Casual Sex are starting to come off as a bit Patronising; Didactic. So do what You want. Just don't come Crying to me when your genitals have Withered-Away to the point of rendering Physical Arousal Impossible. I'ven't seen so much worth getting aroused-over in the first place, Ape-Lips.

Have a nice (homework or Work or Stress-filled!) weekend, I'll be on the cross if you need me.

ACHIEVERS OF OUTSTANDING EXCELLENCE

2009-09-25T16:55:00.018-04:00

Fore: Things are actually Not Bad Uh. It's quite relieving to get out of the Courtroom. Had a few Tired/Blase days, but no big deal. Otherwise, just settin' goals and Baby Steppin' to it. The Cosmic Loki - Maya, if you will - has been throwing some wrenches into the gears of time, but I'm more than patient enough to occupy myself 'til the Acosmic Aeon O' Chaos arrives.

This SIBHoD is really long, like all the other recent ones, but, in this one there's a larger proportion devoted to Black Metal, and less to my Psychoses. = W-N, as The Kids say. I also couldn't give a care today about proofreading or Terseness or Word Choice or Awk.

There is indeed some k.c. On Deck Fanfic today, yes.

Dedic:
I dedicate this one to All Sinister Readers around this crowded'n'cold (Cohen 2001) meaningless empty gay world, and I thank Them for the recent, Avalance-Avalanching Spate of nice comments they'all been leaving. Comfort Yourselves with the FACT that if your comment were unClassy in any way, I would have perfunctorily deleted it.

Proper:

ascribing. iActual. Huhm?

PLIZZANKTON.

I like the way the SIBHoD is turning. Yeah, it does give TMI, but I rationalize the TMI because:

1. It Keeps it Really Truly Real, and it might even give hope to the hopeless

2. It's nowhere near as-Bad o' TMI as getting Your Face Shot-On on-film, which the majority of Mainstream People would be more than willing to do, or have already done. But Not Me!

I am glad to be done with that Sentencing; glad to get that Tether removed. Bye-bye, Albatross.

But let me be perfectly clear that I'm not one of those smug, above-the-law type of Recidivists. Alcohol was negatively affecting my life well before this "Event", and I would have done well to quit drinking before any of this happened. But now that I was forced to quit drinking, the "event" only reinforces the reality of how longterm good it is to quit drinking.

I've also learned that there are a lot of people out there, getting busted a lot for a lot of Drunk Driving.

To an extent, it is a money-making ploy on the part of municipal governments, arguably even moreso than it is a Lifesaving thing. Because people still drink and drive, and there's constantly stories of people getting killed in alcohol-caused car crashes. That's not on the decline. Perhaps you could curb deaths by mandating that a Breathalyzer-Ignition be installed in every Offender's car.

Honestly. What good is a Face Modem - or even a Scram - gonna do in reducing drunk-driving deaths? BreathIgnition is clearly the most effective method to that end. (Of course, the Serious Recidivist could just have a Sober person Blow.)

Also, many drinkers flat-out Refuse to cut back on their drinking. They'll tell you straight to your face that they don't Want to, so they just Won't. And they don't. That is both valid and understandable, but certainly not at all rational or reasonable.

I almost needed something Bad like this to happen. Hell. How many "Open Letters" have I posted on the SIBHoD promising that I was going to "cut back", and then reneged? The "event" has finally compelled me to have some "follow-through", as they say in the gainfully-employed community.

And what if I had killed some poor innocent family? I'd have to Commit Suicide then!

And I really don't want to Commit Suicide. I've got too many SIBHoDs to write and songs to produce and monay to make and hours of prude-cuddling to get caught-up-on.

So I don't want to try to "outsmart" the P.O. or to get raaaaaaaaaaaaging drunk come October 2010.

I had a dream with Dennis Hopper in it. You'd think he'd be the main star of the majority of my dreams, but no. This is only the first (maybe second) time he's appeared. This time, he was ridiculously calm and gentle. Then at the very end he tore into a Frank Booth Rage, bless him.

I was so giddy and gleeful to get a Meijer(r)-Brand 5-Blade Razor, when I remembered my Econ Lessons: the Law of Diminishing Returns suggests that a 5-Blade Razor is probably not that much better than a 3-blade Razor. In contrast/comparison, a 3-Blade Razor would probably be significantly better than a 2-Blade Razor.

Conclusion: Shoulda Just Got the Meijer(r)-Brand 3-Blade Razor.

I'm not impressed with "Om" by Negura Bunget, even though it's hyped-up as a groundbreaking Recent Black Metal album. Christ. It's probably a Grower, and I don't have a lot of patience for Growers right now. Give me Rotting Christ or give me....Life? Death? Ennuic Living Death?

Andrew Bujalski (Mutual Appreciation, Funny Ha Ha) has just come out with a new movie called "Beeswax." I've enjoyed his peerless talent at showing pretentious, smug, naive, obnoxious bourgeois brooklyn hipsters....with a heart. Of course, "Beeswax" is only playing at the DFT, and only for three showings. Which already happened like last weekend. And I'm not legally allowed to drive there. That movie would have scored You some Ridiculous Make-Out Action, I can assure You.

Oh yeah. There was this great stupid TV "news" story about a couple o' Dumb Nigger-Lovers who got a BILLBOARD off a busy Cali Freeway, with their smiling faces, saying "HIRE ME!" and then big links to their resumes. That was Just Fagtastic(tm). Totally up my alley. It cost them $5,000, which they said was totally worth it, because they had a few calls. A Few Calls. All of this is just ridiculous enough to be true.

The argument against is, this is just too over-the-top to be something an Ideal Candidate would do. Which is true. The argument for it, is, shit sucks so BAD for Job Seekers, that getting a Hire Me Billboard actually does sound rational. Ok, that's an argument for the desperation, not for why they deserve to get A job, any job. Because they clearly don't.

Sorry, Ass Holes, you should have gotten a Degree in Medical Stuff, Law, or I.T. But you didn't, and now you're butt-banged, and it's your own damn fault for not getting trained in a career that was Growth-Geared to the Economy, Stupid.

My Sadistic Antichrist of an Econ Instructor started to redeem himself (hopefully!) last (5th or 6th?) class session. Although he pretty much Had to get better, because all the classes up till now, he has been intentionally being an Ass Hole, intentionally Confusing, and intentionally Time-Wasting. He can be as big of an Ass Hole as he wants to be, so long as he talks about Econ, and now he's finally started to do that. The Unsolicited Political Editorials, of course, are here to stay. Although, one can soundly argue that The Economic, just like the Personal, just like the Libidinal, is Profoundly Political.

He says that the bleeding-heart liberal "coneheads" are confusing "wants" with "needs" with their suggestion that Health Care is a Need, when, in fact, only food, clothing, and shelter are Needs. No, health care is a Want, among insatiable wants. It might be a pressingly prioritized Want, but it is not Fundamental to day-to-day Survival.

And if you have Cancer, that's Nature's way of telling you that you Should, nay, you Must Die. (That's me talking, not him.)

He hates anyone under the age of 35, and thinks they are all idiots who were Swayed by Barry's Charming Smile and talk of Change. That we should be mad-as-hell, and turning out to the Tea Parties and Town Hall Meetings en Masse, because Health Care Overhaul is going to quadruple our National Deficit from the $11 Trillion is already is, the repayment of which will extend several generations, and possibly completely Bankrupt the US and turn it into a Third-World Nation.

These are all very valid and compelling, nuanced-discussion-generating points, but, since he'd already cemented the class's view of him as an Arrogant Ass Hole, the class was not at all willing to engage these points rationally. In this case, his Shock And Awe Tactics FAILed.

But yeah. The violently-anti-Obama folks do have a point when they say "where are we going to get all this money?"

It's telling of my own Economic Ignorance: how much would it Actually Cost to provide this kind of health care? What does "the recession" really mean? What does the Budget Deficit really mean?" And I think a lot of people are also ignorant to these things, but that doesn't keep them from publicly spouting their opinions one way or the other.

I say, we can all make a difference right now, by having MORE ABORTIONS. Soooo many idiots get preggers with babies they cannot afford to take care of. HAVE MORE ABORTIONS. If more people - not even "all", but merely "more" - followed that one simple rule, Our Nation would not be in this Mess!

But then we can start arguing over how Unconscionably Large are the Profits that Health Care Corporations are making: couldn't they trim that down so more people could Afford Health Care?

This is where my ignorance is again blatant. Exactly How Unconscionably Excessive are these profits, and how much Could we reduce health care Costs to the consumer?

I suppose we could put some basic assumptions out on the table, such as, what would be "Basic" medical care? I.e., some people opt to "do it yourself" when they need to pull a tooth or set a broken arm, because the injury is not life-threatening.

And, of course, many people go bankrupt when receiving treatment for Cancer. Do they deserve bankruptcy because they didn't include "cancer" in their Personal Finance Planning?

These are not easy questions. The answers, in fact, might be easier than the questions: "Yes" to the above. Yes, they did deserve bankruptcy for not financially planning for cancer. This, however, is not the same thing as saying they deserve cancer.

But it's almost as bad, no?

Not a pretty picture. Just like all the obnoxious types that Keep Having Godawful Children.

What our Ass Hole Econ Instructor is actually saying is simple and sensible: if you don't have enough money to buy a (x), don't buy a (x) with your credit card. This is why I never use my credit card, why I don't have a sweet computer or an ipod or a better car or 6,000,000 game systems/games or tons of expensive clothes. I would like to have these things, but I'm just not making enough money yet. So I use the same computer for 7 years (although one actually CAN get a good deal on a good comp), and have a Philips GoGear instead of an ipod, and why I have a Price-Dropped $100 ps2 instead of a $300 xbox 360, and why I shop at the thrift store or old navy instead of paying $30 for a t-shirt.

(although I'm worried that maybe I should buy as many "best ps2 games ever" Now before they get too rare and too expensive.)

(and I just bought a Bvrzvm t-shirt for $20. But I estimated I'd get at least a Five-Year Useful Life out of that. So that's essentially costing me about 30 cents a month, if not less, because I'll probably wear it for Ten Years. At least. Honestly. How many people do You know have a BVRZVM shirt? That's Right.)

On the morning news they had a piece about Pro-Ana websites, like they were something new. We've all known about Pro-Ana Websites for Yeaarrrrs. My take on them: of Course you cannot debate whether or not Anorexia is Healthy for You. It is not. For mind as well as body. Sites like these are all about Enabling. But I really don't think they're going to create a bunch of New Anorexics. And it's impossible to tell how many Anorexics will die as a result of viewing these sites. Because Anorexics can receive treatment but still die, don't ya know. And I would assume that any treatment program would address Pro-Ana sites right off the bat. It's not like The Ana-Hjalping Community is unaware/uninformed, if a g.d. joe schmoe blogger like me is in on the info.

I just saw a 19-year-old redhead girl. She was ridiculously cute. Perfect face and body. Reminded me of a redhead girl I got-off with many years ago. That sucked. Everything about it all sucked, except the fact that she could get me off and she was ridiculously, abnormally attractive. I would get Hard just thinking about her. I never pulled any"thing" like "THAT" ever again, I tell you hwat. And that's just horribly sad. It's not like other, equally-ridiculously-cute girls Don't Exist. I'm just not "pulling them".

Yes, I realize that paragraph was quite misogynistic. (As well as something The Olde Sibhod would have Censored). Misogynistic in that it Reduces women to "things to be pulled; valued only for their physically-attractive bodies." Of course I know they're more than that; but, as a just-barely-heterosexual man, it is valid for me to find some women physically attractive. It's totally fucking Hell Of Valid, so get-up off me, Chongo. I don't need to explain myself.

I'm having a low-energy moment right now, don't really feel like small talking, just feel like going home and playing FF (55 hours in and no end in sight! That's $8 well-spent!) and listening to some music. That's really not so bad.

I didn't do a fanfic last time. So I'll do one this time.

K.C. ON DECK

Note: Continuing from last one, where KC was sitting with neither libido nor energy in his cabin, playing video games.

k.c. didn't have a lot of energy right now. He was yawning a lot and didn't feel like being witty. If Bailey felt like coming to his cabin and hanging out, though, he certainly wasn't going to stop her, but he'd still be rather content just taking a nap right now.

END. This is BORING. I don't write Fanfic to be BORING.

STOP
START

"k.c. meats k.'s c."

k.c. was fashionably late to his movie-meeting with Kay Panabaker. He'd just as rather show-up at the agreed-upon time, as he was not ashamed of being a Punctual Man. He made a point of getting almost everywhere on time, or even 5 to 10 minutes early. He tried to convince himself there really wasn't some sort of Unwritten Girl Code which deducted points for punctuality, but he made himself a little late just by having this inner debate with himself. If anything, Kay seemed like the type who might value punctuality herself.

Indeed, she was already waiting for k.c. outside of the movie theatre when he got there. And she smiled when she saw him. He smiled back. She didn't even make a sarcastic remark, She just said "Hi!" in a friendly manner. Once again k.c. worried for a second about IOI's and DHVs, but he shook those thoughts from his mind and simply said "Hi!" in return.

"Sorry I'm late, I was just watching my computer defragment and it was just about to 100%, so I just had to see it get there...."

Kay laughed. "Haha, I know the feeling. I would have done the same thing."

"Heh. Excellent. Outstanding. I was worried you'd think I'd forgotten and that you might up and leave. But you didn't. So that's good. I like your hoodie, by the way."

"Thank you!" And no snide remarks about k.c.'s rather awkwardly obvious Compliment. "And I like your Burzum Shirt!"

k.c. blushed. "Thank you, Kay. But you needn't feel obligated to complimurmurmurmurmurmur. Anyway. How was your day today?"

TO BE CON'T

Now pir8ing albums by: austere/lyrinx, wolves in the throne room, and lifelover. Apparently since I stopped listening to music (black metal), entire new genres of black metal have been born and have grown into adolescence, namely, "Depressive Suicidal Black Metal", or DSBM for short, and this is completely different from "Atmospheric Black Metal", but, like always, there are Stupid Metal Fans(tm) who defend the "Integrity" of these genres and label as "gay" anyone who doesn't conform to their Subjective definition of "tr00".

It's kind of interesting, because all this is totally new to me. I do very get very tired reading comments by Stupid Metal Fans(tm), however.

Depressive Suicidal Black Metal apparently didn't start until well after 2000, by bands like Forgotten Tomb, Abyssic Hate, Sombres Forets. (???????) Possibly Shining. Shining is a love/hate sort of band, and they have the Artistic Audacity to have an album called "Halmstad" with the following picture as the Cover Art:

Yeah, that's a silly album cover, but I was actually shocked the first time I saw it, and hopefully You are too. Actually, I still do find it a bit Awesomely Audacious As-An-Album-Cover.

Atmospheric Black Metal - a horse of a decidedly less Depressive and Suicidal colour - apparently picks-up where Burzum left off. Wolves in the Throne Room is an Atmospheric Hipster Southern Lord Black Metal Band who lives Sustainably in a house in the Washington State Wilderness (not bad/good) [and includes none other but the infamous Ross Sewage, who made a semi-impression on me about 10 years ago with his disgusting vocals in the Gore/Death Metal Band EXHUMED (christ, am I old.) And now he's doing nature-boy atmospheric black metal? and a Hipster at that? I feel like I'm dreaming. Or on ACID. It's not necessarily Bad, it's just really confusing/disorienting. (Clarification: Ross Sewage is merely a Live/Session Bass Player, and is not meant to represent the infamous WitTR "Aethos.") ] .

Lifelover is a Swedish band who didn't exist before 2005 and who are also love/hate, because "black metal" fans can't accept that they mash-up "depressive black metal" with dark gothic hipster dancepop. Some people mentioned "joy division" and "the cure" and I was sold. And then some people talked about "Shoegaze." Some people mentioned "Kent", who I recalled, long ago, was a well-regarded Swedish indie-rock band before indie-rock was hip.
(Still trying to find a pir8able file of Kent "du och jag doden". Kids say it's Hawt.)

Point: Stupid Metal Fans(tm) are even more hilarious when they start liking other things than metal, so then they have a whole new world of labels to start fucking-around with. JOY DIVISION IS NOT SHOEGAZE!!!

Lyrinx is a British DSBM band that is unequivocally described as Vury Trv00 DS. So I hope they don't S D's.

It's ridiculous, music "journalism". Since everyone is in a damn band getting their D's S'ed, there is so much material out there, you could be listening to new stuff 24/7 and you wouldn't have enough time.

I'm just absolutely amazed at how the DSBM "genre" just "appeared." They apparently love the MySpace, too. But they also love a Formula of "Freezing Forests" and Olde English font on their album covers, which I'm a sucker for. I hope I will not come to write this entire "genre" off as a Red Herring, because some of it looks/seems Compelling.

First listen to the WitTR album is decidedly not a turn-off. (back to Atmospheric Hipster BM now. Haha. BM. Heheheh.) Good production, "atmospheric blast-beats", this is most certainly, immediately Black Metal.

I know I've seen their name in the local listings lately, i.e., they played a show in town. Hmm. And I actually wouldn't have minded seeing some Hipster Black Metal. I guess I just assumed they were Hot Topic Melodeth. (Which is this generation's form of "Mallcore." )
(But "Mallcore" was stuff like Korn or Fred Durst or 311.)

Some grad students should write papers on this transformation of "mainstream mall metal."

I used to think I had the personality to be a Ph.D student, but today I finally epiphanally realized that I can't be pinned-down like that. Rather, I can do whatever I want, and my actions will have such profound Meaning, that I should hire my own Ph.D. student to study and research Me. Have a team of grad students following me around 24/7. I'm just that significant and "deep". No gay jokes, please. And then after 5 years or so, they would defend their work before me and I would have the authority to award or deny them the Doctorate.

Where/how did I get this authority? How it is legit? I dunno. I was just naturalborn, Son.

It's nice to know that maybe not all the Black Metal of the past 5 years is total crap. I have some catching-up to do.

WitTR seems to be right up my alley, as I used to be All About the "At one with Nature" trip 5 or more years ago. They're actually Living it, and making highly-regarded Black Metal albums about it. I looked at the pictures on their site. Looks like a nice Naturey place to live.

But I will say that a couple listens to the heavily-lauded "Om" by Negura Bunget have proven Quite unsatisfying. As in, boring and not compelling. Sure, it's "weird" and "different", but in a boring and noncompelling way. I'd take "Conservative-but-Nonboring" blackmetal any day.

I credit it all to Burzum. Just hearing that he might do a new album was enough to get me back into Black Metal again.

Although it's gonna suck if that album gets such high Hipster points that Hot Topic picks up on it and then sells a bunch of Burzum shirts and then I won't be the only guy with a Burzum shirt hahahaha I'm 13 years old again.

Besides, Hot Topic does not deal with even Hipster Black Metal, but rather, emo-esque Melodeth. Difference!

Plus, I don't think you can be an immigrant-hating racist antisemitic murderer and not automatically exclude yourself from "Hipster"dom.

Anyway. enough of this music bullshit. Music and bands are still annoying bullshit. So you like annoying hipster indie dance rock and I like annoying hipster black metal - we're all annoying hipsters name-dropping annoying names, and all the people in all these bands are still all annoying assholes Dripping Diseases from their heavily-S'd D's.

Apparently kids take Business, Accounting, Economics, IT Networks, and Medical classes in High School nowadays. So wot's the C.C. for then? Just an Associate's Degree Mill??!

I'll tell you wot it's for, It's a place for wot to get your D S'ed by Hawt Young Girls before they get Preggers and Fat'n'Fugly.

If you have friends that are actually obnoxious enough to name-drop Scott Walker or especially Jacques BREL, punch them in the fucking face for me. For the good of humanity.

Nobody writes blogs. Jeez. I'm subscribed to blogs of people I barely know, just to widen my net to see if Somebody will post, but nobody ever posts. Well. Except for the same 3 guys. Including myself.

Looking forward to Awards Season at the Movies. There just hasn't been much worth seeing this summer.

Tony Robbins sez: It's not what you say, It's what your audience Hears. That's the essence of Communication. If they're not getting it, you have to modify your approach. Simple but profound.

I, for example, often think what I'm saying is hilarious and witty, but what I don't consciously realize is that I'm saying it in a rambling and/or monotone way that just does not agree with the ear. For example. Or I'll be talking to someone, and they don't realize that I'm talking to them, because my Approach was off.

All those mid-school classic scandinavian black/melo metal albums of the 90s were made by Children no older than 20. Dissection, Burzum, Mayhem, Darkthrone, Emperor, all that shit. Opeth, At the Gates, Dark Tranquillity.

The youth of those bands never ceases to amaze me. By the time I was 20, I'd written like 2 primitive songs. These scands were making timeless albums. By the time they'd gotten to the age I am now, they were likely "past their prime." This is rather sobering.

I'm thinking there's a Developmental Period between the ages of roughly 15-21 where young men really want to be in Bands (barf), and some of them actually succeed in making Good Music. What's the deal with that? Maybe it was sexual energy? Because in the 90s you couldn't be a Stupid Metal Fan(tm) and get laid - your only hope at Pulling was if you did a few Timeless Albums first (???!!!)

This is why I like Leonard Cohen. He didn't do his first album until he was 30. Although he had written at least 2 novels by then. Fuckin Jewish Douchebag.

Let's just put a nonnuanced dicussion point / argie out on the tabla: Liberal Amerikkkans Heart Scandinavia because it symbolizes a progressively-transformed utopian version of our own culture: good health care, superb quality of life, attractiveeducated white people, more-equal relations between men/women, less socioeconomic stratification, beautiful nature, etc. It's like Good Cop to our own Bad Cop. The point is, it's not "alien"; it's familiar, but Improved.

I'm not arguing this to the death. I'm trying to open-up a few Opposing Viewpoints here. Get a dialogue going.

How would one make health care affordable? How much should or can the gov't intervene? How much does the competition of health-care providers keep costs down? How should or can Personal (Ir)Responsibilty Choices like Pregnancy/Trashchild-Rearing and Smoking-related health problems be penalized?

How is the dollar looking? Do our foreign creditors have any immediate right to call-in any or all of our debt to them? Wouldn't it take at least a few years for a Health Care Overhaul to take place? Isn't it possible that a drastically different Congress would be in office by then, and how could they modify the situation, or not?

There's a lot of legal, financial, etc details here of which I'm simply ignorant.

Amanda Marcotte had a thoughtful post on the Twofaced-ness of the Stereotypical Conservative: how they flip-flop from populist to individualist, from Simple Joe-the-Plumber types to better-than-thou John Galt types. Yet another reason why I don't like to take political sides. Yes, I am quite liberal and utopian in that I believe people have a Right to Better health care, but I don't have a damn clue on how we could do that. Shit, man, I want better health care, but I just can't afford it right now, just like I can't afford to move out of my House. But is health care something you have to Be Able To Afford?, is the fundamental question here.

I'm really tempted to go out and drop $20 on God of War 2. I've never read a bad review of this game, and it's at or near the top of many best-of lists.
Even more tempted to drop $15 on a new pair o' pants.

And now that I've started Smoking again, I'm gonna have to buy a $23 bag of tobacco.

And, in the back of my mind, is that I still have the game "Dragon Quest 8", which I'm saving for after I get done-or-near-done with FF; and DQ8 is touted as "at least an 80-hourer." (!!!) I'm already at 62 hours on FF12 and probably not even 70% close to the end, not counting side-quests. To compare, I got to the Final Boss in ff10 in a mere 60 hours, at which point I shifted my time and energy elsewhere. (Not that That wasn't a Sweet Game, though.)

It's my Personal Financial/Economic/Medical responsibility to Compete for a Job with Health Benefits, right? This isn't freaking Norway!!! In Norway, Nocturno Culto is a Kindergarten Teacher! What A World!!!!

Another good rubric for describing "Hipster Black Metal," is: can you connect them in Any Way with Sunn0))? Sunn0)) is a bonafide Hipster-approved band, complete with 218-page NYT Magazine articles. (although not Black Metal.) This extends to Southern Lord Records, obviously. All this is so obvious I should Censor it for its obviousness. It took me that long to make the obvious connection to S.L.

Also, curiously, the whopping majority of Hipster Black Metal bands are liked by a Diverse group of people, from College Hipsters, to Tr00 Black Metal Fans. Anyone that hates on Twilight, example, is clearly only doing so wholly because of Twilight's Pitchfork Popularity (Which I mean only in a manner of speaking, as I don't think Pitchfork even did an Official Review of Twilight); Tr00 fans would, much more often than not, argue that Twilight are of Tr00 Quality.

Twilight is arguably The Tailor-Made Hipster Black Metal band, made up of members of all the top Hipster-Metal bands. Yet very few people hate Twilight. Because, honestly, they are Solid black metal.

But they're still Hell Of Black As Hell. Lots of people who listen to Metal-other-than-Black have never even Heard of them.

Plus it's hilarious now more than ever that their name is "Twilight."

Come on. Even I can Photoshop better than That!

Muffin Tops are non discriminating. You can be a tiny, skinny, petite girl and still get a Muffin Top if you wear the right (wrong) pants. I just saw a case of this. The Tiniest little girl! I could get a goddamn muffin top if I tried.

What I really want to see is an Official Anorexic Muffin-Top. And I believe it can be done. That's gotta be a real mindfuck, uh?

(Is it considered Normal to start to Get Aroused ("A Bonner") if a really Attractive Woman sits on your lap, with her really Attractive Bum pressing right up against your C? Or is that incontrovertible evidence that you just don't Get Laid Enough, to get aroused by something so Pedestrian??!)

(Not that this actually happened, but I was just Thinking again. That's what Writers do. They Think, and they Write. And they often drink a lot of Caffeinated and/or Alcoholic Beverages.)

Tiny Little Unforeseen-Muffin-Top Girl just borrowed a pen from me, then she quite noticeably Yanked her Pants Up as she walked away. How does all this Libido come rushing back on a Monday Morning? What a strange, many-splendoured thing! (I'm talking Definition Literally Tiny. A small man could easily rip her to shreds. Her entire bottom could fit in the palm of your hand. And then she had the audacity to come up to me and ask me if she could outright Have the pen, winking in this very "fluttery" way which suggested to me this wasn't the First time she'd seduced A Pen from A Man. Doesn't this mean I'm Entitled to something now?)

I just saw a nonunderwearwearing girl with pants so low that you could see her buttocks while she was merely walking around, and not even leaning forward. Don't they have A Fetish for this in Japan? I'm starting to think that some individuals actually get-off on exposing themselves in public. They should put these people on A List. iMean, I just can't walk around the mall openly Masturbating, for example. That's the Same Thing, right?

Just like Cigarette-Smokers fetishize the Ritual of lifting the cigarette to their lips and puffing, Drinkers fetishize the Ritual of lifting the cup/glass/can/bottle/tankard/bladder/horn/lady'sshoe o' liquid to their lips, and the fluid going down their throat.

I could almost get-off to drinking merely water. Is this some kind of Liquid Pica?

(I'd heard the word "Pica" before, but only recently learned what it meant: eating things with no nutritional value, like ice cubes or paper.)

Monday Minus Albatross, Plus a Bucket O' Tea Equals Me Right Now. I.e., it's shaping up to be a moderate-or-above Energy day. I might actually be able to Produce something today.

I think this whole "Catholics Emphasize Guilt more than other religions, even other Christians" stereotype is one of those stereotypes with a solid kernel o' truth innit. Maybe just because I'm Catholic. Catholic isn't one of those things you Choose to be. You're born that way, and you stay that way, like it or not.

I seem to have stopped using Twitter. I don't really miss it, etiher; I never really Used it for anything anyway. I am now Completely Social-Network Free.

I'm thinking about bringing back The Spreadsheet, only in a super-stripped down form.

99.99 of the stuff on the SIBHoD is for my own amusement, and/or my own recollection. The reread value here is great, and it helps jog my frustratingly absent mind. Like, if I didn't write that thing about the Spreadsheet, I might not remember it.

One day I got a mindfuck when what appeared to be a Woman came up to me, then I noticed almost immediately that it was a Man: Big Manhands, Manshoulders, Manvoice. But He/She had a Woman's Hairdo and something on his/her chest that were suggestive of breasts. I'm not sure if this was a Crossdresser with Falsies, or a pre-op MTF T/S. Because if s/he was a post-op, I'd be demanding a refund. Can Hormones do anything about your shoulders and hands?

Either way, this was absolutely not the type of thing you see in our generally transphobic county, and I respected his/hers sheer Balls in doing this so blatantly.

Hand-holding is retardedly gay. Of the public variety. I actually get-off on hand-holding when it's done privately, or, at most, non-obviously. But walking around a crowded area? WTF's Wrong with you?

I haven't listened to Lifelover with really Open Ears, but they didn't really sound too poppy at all. They had screechy guitars and distorted vocals. I hope it gets More poppy, frankly. I will say that "Lifelover", as a Band Name, is right up my alley.

Honestly, though, I had no idea that the suicide thing had become such a Gimmick. It is literally a Gimmick, to the point of kitsch/schmaltz/camp, such that it seems like the band is Just Joking. Sorry, but that's a hard - if not impossible - line to walk, especially when you're using pictures of forests and dichromatic shrouds and having an Unintelligible Black Metal Logo. If you're having a sense of humour, you gotta do it sorta like Lifelover. Leave TR00 black metal imagery to tr00 dark souls.

The real funny thing is, I don't think the above band was trying to be funny.

But seriously. Anyone interested in Adolescent and/or Musical Subcultures would do well to look into the Depressive Suicidal Black Metal. It's all there in a nice little package. I am soooo gonna tap this stuff for a pseudofanfic, and don't even think of stealing THAT idea from me.

It's not easy being The Most Artistically Pioneering Person you know, but there's enough Fun involved for it to get You A WIN ftw.

It's not procrastination if you're not really concerned about it. For example, excruciatingly boring/tedious homework that you know will take about 15 minutes to finish, but you'd understandably much rather play video games or watch tv than do it Right Now, and you do it 15 minutes before class no sweat.

The law of conservation of matter does not seem to apply to deleting/creating computer files because these do not seem to really be "matter"......? Damn I need to become an IT Professional and fast.

There are two types of people in this world: those who have seen Faeces fly out of a person's Ass Hole, and those who have not.

I missed Big Barry on Letterman.

Hopefully You didn't miss the season premiere of HOUSE. After a promising beginning which suggested perhaps the Best TV Episode Ever, I felt it reached a little too far in sentimentality. Greg House makes a Big Leap which is somewhat incredible, and I would have preferred to see this Story Arc Streeeeeetched out over the entire season. I.e., only in the season finale would have him (SPOIL) Making-Out with a Woman.

Still, the episode was Two Thumbs Up. Even if it's basically just a "Cuckoo's Nest" Ripoff. And Andre Braugher's Dr Nolan character was a little one-sided (although he may not continue to be, if he's [finger crossed] brought back.

The Open Secret of the whole series is that we really don't know Who House Is, and how he got to be so fucked-up. It's been nothing but 600 Medical Mysteries. It's amazing they've made it to Season 6 without blatantly touching on House's Character. That's a credit to the good writers and to Hugh Laurie's peerless performance. You feel like you already know House, even though you don't know any of his deets. And I, for one, am ecstatic to see him get into Session with a Shrink. I'm a fan of the Shrink-Conversations Trope to begin with, and House is the perfect candidate for this.

There were a few moments, though, where I felt House was being Too Human. House shouldn't make "progress" this quickly; but I suppose this is meant to give a taste of the remainder of the season, which, apparently, sees him return to PP Hospital. (I would like to see him spend at least Half the season in the Psych Ward. So it's not a One-Off Cuckoo's Nest sorta thang. The guy's just got too many issues.) And some of his seshes with the Shrink were far from credible. I think they should do an entire episode where it's just House and the Shrink, done in an "Office" "Mockumentary" style.

So, despite some weaknesses, Hugh Laurie PWNS it. Absolutely the best actor on TV. The guy should be buried under emmys. I'd like to see his Movie Career take-off, because I believe he could be a Heavyweight Actor like Brando, De Niro, Skarsgard. (hahaha.)

I'm kinda bitter that I still can't grow a satisfactory Skinny Moustache like a Tr00 Black Metal Artist.

I had a premonition/vision of myself Playing A Live Show with a Band (!!!!!). It was a Black Metal Band playing before a bunch of drunk metalheads. The take-home point was that everyone was having a ridiculous amount of Fun. Like the best Party Ever. At a particularly high-energy point in the middle of the show, the band fades-into the latter portion of Bvrzvm's "Black Spell of Destruction" (4:29), and invites the audience to join in a Primal Scream Session, and all the Hessians kick it up a notch. Possibly also a part of "Jesus' Dod" in there as well. Point is, there'd be fragments of Bvrzvm in there to really show that WE R TR00 BLACK METTAL.

Leviathan's lastest (and, rumouredly, final) album "Massive Conspiracy Against All Life", has been getting the Pitchfork Plaudits, and I'd pir8ed it as soon as it dropped many months ago, but I found it Too Noisy and Too Unfocused. Now that I give it a Proper Listen, I've concluded that there IS a focus, and these are well-arranged Black Metal Songs, and incredibly, ridiculously Black to boot. "Merging With Sword, Unto Them" is indicative of all this, AND it somehow managed to include a damn BREAKDOWN in there. (@ 7:23). The audacity of that ("polyrhythmic"!!!!) breakdown really works in Leviathan's favour. I mean that riff is ridiculous. And Infectious. Wrest knows exactly what he's doing. This isn't some kind of drunk wrist-off. Which is what having 20 albums does misleadingly imply, as does the intially ear-unfriendly sound.

I'm liking the Lifelover. The name is great, the songs are pretty catchy. I don't get all the hate. If anything, they're not poppy Enough. I was pleasantly surprised to hear a solid inspiration of "Discouraged Ones" era Katatonia in there.

Wolves in the Throne Room is tremendously solid as well! This is str8-up Atmospheric Black Metal at its finest, for all you fans of Emperor "In The Nightside Eclipse" (and who isn't!!) It doesn't sound "American" at all. (Not that a lot of other USBM bands sound particularly American.) USBM is here to stay. There also seems to be some Bvrzvm "Hvis Lyset Tar Oss" worship in there too.

THE SONG O' THE POST: WitTR: "BEHOLD THE VASTNESS AND SORROW"

(also a respectable, raweal-sounding, well-videographed Live Recording in there, Groningen 2008)

Hale Yeah! These are My Influences too! I was 218% misled by this band's name, from which I assumed it was just Modern Mallly Melodeth. An In Flames Ripoff. Nothing could be further from the truth. This is tr00 Black Metal, no ifs ans or buts.

"EPIC" has been making a name for itself lately with teh nets and all. Everything is Epic these days: FAILs, WINs, kittehs, and a lot of stuff that isn't really Epic at all. Scenester girls call things "epic" all the time. That's an epic rundmc shirt I think not. That Skeezy Musical-Artist Boy Whose Jizz I Just Slurped-Up Had Some Epic Pit Stains On Him!

The truth is, Tr00 Mettal has been doing "epic" before the word even existed. Larger-than-life, spine-tingling, beating-the-final-boss, twilight-of-the-idols, Wagnerian epic. I don't like to mention Opeth a lot, but, "In Mist She Was Standing" is you-know-what. Dissection "Night's Blood" or "The Somberlain" or possibly even "Maha Kali". Bvrzvm "Det Som Engang Var" or "Key To The Gate" or "Jesu Dod" or "My Journey to the Stars". In the Woods..."Yearning the Seeds of a New Dimension." Dark Tranquillity does "5 minute Epic" as compared to "10 Minute Epic." Destroyer666 "Genesis to Genocide." Ulver "Troldskog." Every Song of the k.c. black metal solo project has been Epic.

(A very-well-known Mainstream example might be the "headbanging" part of "Bohemian Rhapsody." Possibly the Epic-Sounding Part in Faith No More "Epic".)

So it's great to hear WitTR making an Honourable Attempt at Epic as well. They seem to be doing a Good Job of it.

Anyway. It's generally good to get back into Music again, it can be a very pleasant diversion from the fact that it takes a long-time to restore Real Excitement to one's life.

The WitTR guy makes some basic-but-profound points about BM (hehehe) that, it would seem, many Stupid Metal Fans in the Metalverse had forgotten, distancing me from that "scene." He talks about black metal being a spiritual jumping-off point, journeying within and without, and he rejects medicore nihilism and one-dimensional satan stuff; and points out that most of the classic scandinavian metal was made by Children. I thought I was the only person who recognized this.

Hello! This should be obvious! And, I guess, in the time that I stopped listening to music, it indeed became obvious, thank g-ds.

He's a radical-environmentalist, non-celibate artist so I can't help be annoyed with him just a little bit, but he seems For Real, as does the music.

My fave site Invisible Oranges recently did a great "Cliffs Notes of Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Blast-Beats But Were Afraid To Ask." It should go without saying that I prefer the European Blast Beat.

http://www.avclub.com/articles/wolves-in-the-throne-room-black-cascade,26514/

I Also Luv AV Club Arguments.

Especially when tr00 people like "Uncultured and Unwashed" start bashing the Hipster Southern Lord AV Club Pitchfork Indie Shoegaze types who are just discovering B.M. This isn't to say he doesn't make a few compelling points later in the thread.

I wouldn't call the guys at Southern Lord posers. I liked Goatsnake as much as anything else. I'd call them guys out making a buck and getting invited to all the cool parties by way of image-based marketing tired or just plain bad shit to people who don't know better but think they do. It's not just marketing, it's the limited to 66.43 copies of SPLORTT))) (Greg Anderson lighting Stephen O'Malley's farts) split 7" with Nortt on shitstain vinyl nonsense.

I wouldn't complain about Wolves in The Throne Room being hippies if they actually seemed to stick to their guns, looney tunes beliefs or not. Playing a "rock" fest (they didn't even have the balls to call it metal) sponsored by the ugliest car Toyota ever made, then saying something to the effect of "Well, money's satanic and we really didn't enjoy making money, but we'll do it again, maaaaaaan." and dropping your old logo for something easier on the eyes doesn't exactly do wonders for your reputation as being the genuine article.

It's not about complacency or stringent adherence to any musical code as much as it is about honesty. This shit is all a marketing trend to me, and I can't wait for it to be over.

He's talking about some Toyota Scion rock fest.

To be fair, the Opposing Viewpoint has equally compelling arguments, but the Southern Lord-Hater gets bonus points for saying "SPLORTTTT)))"

Again, there are two types of people in theworld: those who feel compelled to comment on Certain Threads, and those who do not.

Is it considered geeky to know that there was put-out an album of Final Fantasy IV music done in a "celtic" (strings + accordions + flutes) style, entitled "Celtic Moon?" Is it considered even geekier to walk around Rocking Out to this album?

It is what it is, I am what I am. Now, as you will not be entirely floored to learn, "it is what it is" was put on that one annual list of most-overused phrases, wot needs to be taken out of the lexicon, etc.

That's About Right.

We use IIWII because it's accurate, and it's often. If there were any other way to say it, we would, but stuff is self-explanatory. It explains itself. Captain Obvious.

I enjoy a privileged, bourgeois, white, suburban, effete Existence. Let's make this perfectly clear. I am exactly thatwhat I hate. Now that we've gotten that self-evident truth out of the way, I'd just like to qualify the truth with the not-entirely obvious subtruth that this does not depreciate my self-esteem in any way. Or am I just playacting here, because Media and Evolution teach us that we must Arrogantly Demonstrate Superiority In All Ways At All Times in order To Get Action??! But I don't desire Action in the Evolutionary Sense.

But then again, Chilled-Out, Time-Spanning Companionship Action is almost as "Evolutionary" as Utilitarian, Anonymous Hedonistic Barsex Action. SUCK ON THAT.

Can you spot the Black-and-White Thinking here? That's why they call it automatic - you think like that, and it's so obvious, but you just don't realize it.

So, I'm Hell Of Grateful for all the great things I do have, but I'm a Greedy Human, and my Wants are Insatiable. I want more, more, more.

"Well, then, Ass Hole, do what you have to do to get more. It may work and it may not. In Either case, Shut The Fuck Up."

This is me throwing a "subliminal" message at You. What a Trickster Am I!

So have a good weekend (i.e., filled-with Work and/or Pro-Active Job Hunting), I'll pay You $11 Grand to get me a Decent Job, and don't be a fucking

FILTHY, STRETCHY, STRETCHMARK-ZIPPERED, MUFFINY, MEALY, PROMISCUOUS, WOMANLY, NON-CELIBATE, FAT-BACKED, ASSHOLE-LICKING, PISS-GARGLING, JIZZSHITTING, CUMGULPING SATAN'S WHORE.

PUT SUM FROSTIN ON DAT MUFFIN TOP

2009-09-18T20:35:00.013-04:00

Foreword: Transition O' Clock. I'd like to (soon) write a new Mission Statement for the SIBHoD, just so we can all be on the same page here, and so I don't lose track of the idea that: what is good for me, is also good for the SIBHoD; put another way, the SIBHoD is not only a Barometer, but also a Mirror of my well-being. Got it? Good.

The Quantity of the SIBHoD is probably more important than its quality, because who doesn't like reading Blogs regularly? But who actually writes blogs regularly?

Proper:
I used to genuinely enjoy music. I was a big "metalhead." I liked a lot of Black metal, with a Doom metal period in there too. I also liked all sorts of music in addition to metal.

But around 2003-2005 I really stopped Paying Attention to music; stopped making an Honest Effort to discover Fresh music; not at all pro-active. This apathy/antipathy continues to this very day.

So I vowed to "discover" some new Black Metal and listen to it, and like it, G-d Dam Nit. I found a useful site called rateyourmusic.com . I could easily spend a few hours there, and would recommend it to all Music Fans. It's most notable in its organizational style, in that you can look up a band, like say Nargaroth or Graveland or Pussycat Dolls or whatever, and post your review of it, and your number rating of it, you can see what is the Average Favourite Burzum album, you can find out the difference between Drudkh and Borknagar, etc. People also do Personal Favourite lists, there are Forums/Bulletin Boards, etc; in short, it proved very useful for my needs.

I came up with a "Short list" of bands to look-into (i.e., load onto my Tiny mp3 player), which is obviously mostly black-metal focused (Burzum was kind of a jumping-off point, as I've been listening to a lot lately) but there are a few "oddballs": negura bunget, graveland, taake, rotting christ, deathspell omega, summoning, above-mentioned bands, etc. For example, "rotting christ" is not Really "Black Metal" but they are apparently "dark and beautiful" which is mainly what I'm going for anyway. If a reviewer sounds like a Stupid Metal Fan (tm), then that's bad. Stupid Metal Fans (tm) are all about subgenre labels and being Trve and Kvlt, (" 'Suicide Black Metal' is False and Gay!"); I could care less. All that matters is that the BAND/MUSIC them/itself is smart, good, enjoyable, and are Not a bunch of assholes/gaytards, a.k.a. Stupid Metal Fans(tm).

(Also, a good production helps. Bad production can kill good music just as efficiently as anything else.)

This is basically why I stopped trying to discover new music. Because I don't LIKE that much, and trying to separate the good from the bad took just too much effort for too little reward. And I also get a squicky feeling when I read too many opinions by too many Stupid Metal Fans(tm).

I guess "Atmospheric Black Metal" is the subgenre I'm most interested in right now, if you're desperate for A Label.

But I am giving Dissection's "New" album "Reinkaos" a second chance, fyi. Which is ABSOLUTELY NOT "ABM", didn't want to give that impression. With my last post I really re-sparked my interest in The Temple Of The Black Light (formerly Misanthropic Luciferion Order), and "Reinkaos" really delves into TOTBL themes, and could possibly itself function as a "grimoire."

Plus it's a damn good Headbanger, and Nodtveidt's vokills are passionately awesome.

Naturally one of the Reinkaos songs is gonna be

SONG O' THE POST

, but which one? I finally settled on "Maha Kali", but I was torn among that and "Starless Aeon," "Black Dragon", and "God of Forbidden Light", all great headbangers/fistpumpers (heheheh.) "Maha Kali" gives you a immediate, triumphant "I Just Beat the Final (video-game) Boooosssssss!" sort of feeling. Of course he's talking all about death, and how great it's gonna be when Kali comes to Destroy His World. So, probably, him blowing his brains out with A Shotgun was his way of Achieving Ecstasy.

Some "people" (trolls) suggest he got involved with this geeky religion because he felt bad about getting butt-banged in prison. I certainly cannot comment on that, because maybe he never got Butt-Banged in prison. However, if you kill a guy in cold blood, I don't really have much sympathy for you. And his victim was A Gay. A Gay Arab, at that. So maybe Nodtveidt was a Closeted Self-Loathing Gay who did get butt-banged in prison and Black Light/218/Chaosophy blablabla was his Defense Mechanism. Who knows. At least his is not a Boring Life/Death Story.

I also got the Epiphany to download mp3s of Audio Books. Something I remember about people listening to "Success Gurus" in their cars. This was a grand idea, since all the Tony Robbins books have been out at the Libraries lately.

In other words, my current Phillips GoGear 2 GB mp3 playlist is going to include: Dissection, Negura Bunget, Burzum, Dark Tranquillity, Ulver, and TONY ROBBINS. (And some Dale Carnegie!!) How ridiculous is that?

Is Forgotten Tomb anything like Moonsorrow? Are these bands really any good? People mention "Agalloch" a lot too. (Note: I'm aware these are not REAL Black Metal.)

Shining? Suicidal Black metal? I thought I would like Leviathan, but I don't trust one Americakkkan who writes 20 albums of black metal. Although Solo Projects are kewl....(Afterword: I did not mean to imply Leviathan was "Suicidal" Black Metal, which would much better describe Xasthur. Also both of these bands could be called "Hipster" Black Metal [see below.] )

David Deluise IS Jerry Russo. Big Smile Buddy. I'd sire a son just to have this guy Babysit him.

Although I am partial to Mountain Dew and the geekdom that valourises it, I'd also like to think that I, with proper preparation, can approach a New Flavour of Dew with complete Objectivity.

Well. You know that's a joke. The only thing better than Regular Ol' Yellow Mountain Dew, is other ridiculous Colours O' Dew: Code Red (Red) and the Orange ones being the most ubiqitous, but one could also get Purple (WoW/Halo Promotions), and you can still get Baja Blast (green) exclusively at Taco Bell (which is Bull Shit, but still insanely good marketing/distribution/etc).

I'm talking about the new "Democratically-Voted-Upon Fan-Flavour", "Voltage." The Blue Dew. I guess it's supposed to be Blue Rasperry, and it is also infused with Ginseng or Guarana or some shit. Whatever it all is, it's f00king great. "Imma" have to stock up on this stuff before they stop making it.

Maybe once I get my MBA I'll try to get recruited by Mountain Dew / PepsiCo. Hahaha. Yeah right, I'm sure they send their recruiters to the top business schools, and still have 10,000 more candidates than they could possibly have jobs for. So. Not so sure where I'm gonna go with an MBA from, say, Oakland or Wayne or Walsh or Baker, but hopefully that Education will suffice in getting a Definition Decent J.O.B. (i.e., Decent = living wage, health care, retirement.)

Do Seriously Profitable companies actually hire MBA-grads from anything that isn't a Top-Tier business school?

I overheard an interesting discussion the other day: a lady with an MBA was taking C.C. classes (Medical field) because she had taken a buyout from Chrysler and wanted to / had to start a new career. I wonder if Medical Stuff is "Just what she always really wanted to do, and this layoff gives me the perfect chance to start fresh", OR if her MBA and her 13 years at Chrysler were Resume Poison.

Food for thought, indeed. Especially for a person who, when pressed, will tell You that he's "Working on his MBA". ("Being in the thought-process of attempting to gain admission to Any MBA Program" qualifies, in the small-talk world, as "working on" Your MBA.)

Every site that gets updated regularly should have an Easy-To-Find RSS Feed. It isn't that hard. Just put the damn universally-recognized RSS Symbol at the top or bottom of your page. Really. Simple. Don't make me pretend to be an IT Professional.

While the Beatles are pretty gay, especially with this Recent Revival, they are not as gay as 90% of Young Bands today. Fine. I'll admit it.

A girl just walked in wearing a hoodie that is blatantly too short, and pants that are blatantly too low and too tight, producing The Best Muffin-Top I've Ever Seen. With blatancy this blatant, you can't not know what you're showing. It's not something you're just not aware of. It's okay, though - the girl is otherwise cute and young, and she's probably got Secure Self-Esteem from brodoudches shooting it all over that soft muffin top. It's good to see some Feminine Pride.

But seriously. She looks nice enough. I'd definitely hit it. Put some frosting on it.

ii.

dear l-rd.

The other night I had an Anger Meltdown, throwing a screaming, raging Mantrum (Tyra show) the likes of which even scared me. It scared everyone. My parents suggested taking me to the HOSPITAL. Initially, I agreed, putting my shoes on, before cooling down just enough to refuse, that going to the hospital was ridiculous and overreacting, all I needed was a fucking tranquilizer, although I was overreacting too:

I was screaming and prancing around sarcastically, screaming until my face turned red, saying something about breaking into random people's houses and killing them, babbling about going on a shooting spree and killing FIFTY people, (!!) something about tearing fetuses out of women's uteruses (!!!!!); I sardonically pranced up and down, waving my arms, saying I was possessed by the devil. I punched the refrigerator, I punched the cupboards, I think I may have broken my little finger because now it hurts like hell and there is a huge grey bruise on my wrist.

I screamed that I was becoming a child molester, because what kind of man is 26 years old, lives with his parents, has never brought a girl home to meet his parents, and gets looked at by 21 year olds as a creepy old man. I had just gotten an alumni newsletter from my high school, and I pounced on that, spending a good 10 minutes throwing it around the dining room, ripping it to shreds, then ripping the shreds to shreds.

"Look at these idiots! Why do they have to be so successfull! Look at these people! With their finance jobs in bloomfield hills! And kids from class of 2004 getting married! The Popular Kids With their law degrees! and their WIVES! and their CHILDREN! and their Happy lives! The Popular Kids were Popular with Girls!" (screaming, tearing the newsletter to shreds.)

"Meanwhile here I am, 26 years old, can't get women to not be scared of me, working a minimum wage job when I when I went to a superprestigious university and literally everyone I know from there is doing something with their lives and they aren't this unhappy and angry and even if they're not a total success then at least they were able to reach even just ONE goal in their godforsaken lives and they don't spend all day daydreaming about making-out with 21 year olds" etc etc etc etc

"This is WHY people drink! This is WHY people don't stop drinking even when they lose everything! Because it blocks out all this worthlessness and disappointment! It's very simple! Drinking numbs you to the problems in your life you cannot solve! This is why people drink themselves to DEATH! Sometimes it gives them the courage to drive into a tree and end it all and get it all over with already!"

And I was screaming and sweating and scaring even myself, and making my poor mother cry, and nobody knew what to say; and after going to sleep and getting up again and going to my minimum-wage underemployment, I felt a lot more "normal", and ashamed for absolutely exploding like that. Because it was nothing if not a total nuclear meltdown. Total HYSTERIA. Like a raving lunatic. Becoming a raging, rabid monster. I can understand why they wanted to take me to the hospital. Indeed, for a few minutes I was prepared to go to the hospital. Why not, uh?

Either way, this is probably enough to qualify for some sort of prescription tranquillizer. I know most people get those because of panic attacks. I don't get panic attacks. I have a lot of general anxiety, but never anxiety attacks. This counted as an Attack, but it was definitely a Total Anger Attack. I could have totally killed somebody. I went absolutely Hulk-Berserk. It was scary. And I certainly feel bad for scaring my parents too. My poor, dear old mother!!

Obviously I'm a Generally Angry Man, but this was the first time I really Let It Show. And it was not pretty.

So yeah. I might try to get some sort of prescription or something. Who cares about the cost. I'm in total financial ruin anyway, which is exacerbated by my Drunk-Driving Conviction. I might like to get some Xanax or Valium or Benzo to pop in case the anger starts Raging Uncontrollably, but I am worried about the Addictive nature of those Benzos. And that they might make the anger/anxiety worse when I'm not popping them. So I'm thinking about Buspar, which is not only non-addictive/non-tolerance-building, but also a competitively-priced $4 Generic.

So I definitely picked the wrong time of year to quit smoking. I am gonna smoke some big fat cigarettes today, Baby.

I can't believe I broke a fucking CHAIR. This was a high-quality dinner-table chair, too. I'm no appraiser, but that's at least a $50-$100 chair. Just let me pay for the damn chair. Actions have consequences.

Fuuuuuuuuuck. "I WANNA BE SEDATED."

Who breaks a fucking CHAIR? Who goes ranting and raving like a lunatic for 2 hours straight? Who stomps up and down and makes their poor old mother cry? Who tears his high school newsletter into little pieces screaming about people's "success, jobs, lives, wives, happiness?"

In retrospect, some of it is kind of comical, while other aspects are downright shameful. And even though I was ranting and being a huge Crazy Bitch, most of my complaints were actually solidly Truthful and Valid. But this was one of those truth sessions of the Shocking, Violent, and Incredible variety.

There was a specific event or two that kinda triggered me, but still.

E.g., I'm a little nervous about going to Court this week and getting Sentenced by The Judge. Yikes.

It's just been kind of a weird week. Things are kind of like a David Lynch Nightmare. It doesn't help that I just saw a woman with frankly SCARY makeup on. How can she not realize that she looks SCARY. She literally looks like Pennywise the Evil Clown. This is happening Right Now. I'm looking at her Right Now.

I don't want to violate anyone's privacy, butttt......hopefully the people who realize they can potentially jeopardize my job do not go and do this. Well, I trust them not to do that. Actually, more people than I know could probably jeopardize my job. A phone-call or simple email from anywhere in the world at anytime would suffice, I suppose.

Hmmm. Well. I can either delete the SIBHoD or..... I suppose the SIBHoD means more to me than does my job, because I'm not going to delete the SIBHoD. Of course, I think the probability of it costing me my job is pretty slim. Meaning I guess I must put a lot of trust into a lot of people. Or...

Well, if You're a big enough asshole to go out of your way to get me fired, then nothing I can say is gonna stop you. And you would get seriously karmically fucked. Even if I don't necessarily believe in Karma.

Anyway, one of the current pieces of drama involved the suicide of somebody's friend, and how Somebody's Teacher was completely nonunderstanding when they had to miss the first class As Per Funeral/Mourning/Grief, and the teacher actually made them produce the obituary. Which understandably frazzled the Student, who I wouldn't be surprised if they are bottling up some serious Rage; as they described it, I marveled, but they just shrugged and say "You don't get second chances at X-School."

That statement was what gave me pause. Could that really be true? Could a teacher really Be So Heartless? Maybe the person was just being emo, which would certainly be perfectly understandable and valid??!

Shit happens in people's lives. People kill themselves, people get cancer, people get arrested, people get laid-off in their Middle Ages. How true is it that you can't "get a Second Chance"? The Second Chance concept is what I'm really struggling with here, is what I'm saying.

Then: I began to see myself as "Living Proof" of "There's No Second Chances When You Fuck-Up As An Undergrad at The Prestigious Univ I Went To." And In Some Vulgar way, that's true: "Re-opening" my Undergrad "Account", for example, is totally not feasible.

I fucked-up. It's done. It happened. I can't change that. And what really bothers me is not necessarily that I fucked-up, but that by Being A Fuck-Up I'll never be Accepted by the type of people I want to be accepted by, i.e., Decent Employers, or especially Nice, Smart, Non-Fucked-Up Young Women. Once In a while, my Unrequited Sinister Interest sometimes focuses on Young Women who aren't Totally Fucked-Up, believe it or not.

It's not like I fucked-up nearly as hardcore as I could have, for example: having children, getting a felony record, get abused, being a TOTAL loser, etc. I simply didn't show enough Initiative in my time at a Prestigious School. Shit could clearly be Hell Of Exponentially Worse.

But still: do people who fucked-up ever "deserve" people who haven't fucked-up?

I don't know if I can write my way out of this one. I think the less I write about it, and the more I focus on the STOP Button, and Pleasant thoughts, and take it one day at a time, then one day I'll be in a better mood. To-morrow. I'm having a lo-energy AND an especially low-mood day Today. See, I'm essentially asking "Am I ever going to get a Second Chance?"

And, of course, the Personal Power Tony Robbins Giant Within says: "Absolutely. You take action and MAKE your own Second Chance."

So I'll end on that rather positive thought and tear through some ECON, before moving my car and smoking a Bigass Hogsleg of a cigarette.

Dream I:

Here's an interesting dream. I was playing the lead role in a play, where my lines were largely improvised. My Main Scene was me having a passionate argument over some sort of "Rel." And also I was to do some sort of "Interpretative Dance of Seduction" which apparently I thought was cool, but the audience thought was hilariously ridiculous. This ridiculousness is crucial.

There were to be two performances. Everybody loved my first performance, but myself and everyone involved in the production accepted the constructive "criticism" of how I could make the next performance even better. Then, the day of, I felt very blase, low-energy and low-mood, I didn't have it in me, so I gave my role to another person, saying, "Here. You do it. You can do it better than I can." And there was very little struggle. He took it, and everyone was clearly disappointed in me. And then I became disappointed as well, and began to regret my untakebackable decision.

Dream II:

I was back in the Communiss House I lived in at Univ. There was an impending Hurricane about to bear down upon us, which would dwarf Katrina. We were panicking but still trying to take sufficient precautions. Then the storm started for about 10 minutes and it was raging. "This is it," we thought. It blew the doors clean off the house and actually starting sucking people out. People were holding onto the door-jamb with their bodies flapping horizontally in the gale. Then it abruptly stopped.

The understanding was that that was the "pre-storm", and the Real Big Storm was gonna start sometime soon. But in 10 minutes? 30 minutes? (A Recurring theme, similar to my "End Of The World" Dream a few months ago) Now people were really panicking, and the house was packed with people shoving each other to get into the basement, which they logically presumed was "safe ground."

However, there were a certain "Elect" of "Smart People" who had built a special Super-Safe-Room a few floors up (which was counterintuitive, but I was the only one who suspected this.) You rode up to that floor on a weird spiral-of-bamboo (!!!), and, in order to get into The Safe Room, you then had to go through this strange machine that was essentially a revolving door, but it involved several heavy-duty compactors which squashed your body into a horrifically narrow space. Some people tested it out, and once released from the "door/compactor", groaned in pain as their entire bodies were sore. I was too hesitant to get in the machine, because it did appear obviously horrendously painful, and possibly even fatal. That's all I remember.

Dream III:

I was watching an Artsy-Fartsy Swedish film. It had an Explicit Sex Scene in which a Statuesque Valkyrie of a blond, Short-haired Swedish Woman who looked sorta like Starbuck from BSG was having intense ecstatic Artsy Sex with a Big Mandingo Black Man. The one image I remember: she was laying down, the frame was a Side-Profile with her Tatas on the right side and her Blond Head on the left, and you saw this extremely long, thick Black Cock enter the frame and begin slapping back and forth across the tops of her nipples, her nipples which had erected to obscene lengths of over an inch. She twitched and moaned in Extreme Passion, as the Black Cock tweaked her Ridiculously Long, Hard Nipples.

So there's that. I wonder what that-all's spoazda Signify.

iii. weds.

You can be Persistent without being Pushy. You can revise your goals and set More Attainable Goals without "Compromising Your Standards."

Hmm. Don't mind that. I'm just trying to get people to laugh at my jokes, trying to pull their Talk Strings. I, historically, have not usually been the person for that job. Nothing like a good challenge.

http://bitchmagazine.org/post/in-your-facial-queer-feminist-pornographers

I would like to thank a Colleague/Confederate of mine who sent me this article; I did not have time to respond, so I will give them some Fame right now. Anyway, as it turns out, this story was Not-NSFW, and reminds me of the existence of Bitch Magazine as a Legit Feminist Zine. But I always just simply forget to read it. Never Again!

Some comments:

1. The title of the article, "In Your Facial", is completely misleading, as NOWHERE do they talk about Man-on-Woman Facials, and how those may or may not be degrading to women; (I believe they are degrading, but I also fear that not a lot of women would agree, and even less have succeeded in dissuading Their Men from ever Jizzing-On Their Faces)

2. Queer Feminist Porn does sound like a neat, positive thing, but I'mma argue that the word "Porn" itself is misleading, that it's Too Far Gone In Its Horribly Misogynistic Connotations to be "Reclaimed" by "Feminist Canon." I prefer the term "Erotica", but even that has its limits. Whatever. What the filmmakers/activists in this interview describe is simply non-misogynistic sexual films.

In the end, though, it really doesn't matter. Mainstream Women don't have a problem with Mainstream Porn, for god's sakes. I knew it. I should have lived through Second-Wave Dworkin Feminism.

iv. fri

"Hipster black metal": Nachtmystium. Wolves in the Throne Room. Xasthur. Twilight. Pitchfork plaudits. Brooklyn. Not big on stage names or Corpsepaintin' It Up. Play shows at Bard College. Bourgeois Black Metal.

Fuckit, I still like Twilight. None of them live in Brooklyn or have Liberal Arts PhDs.

One of the Greatest New Blogs I discovered recently is Invisible Oranges. They're the ones that coined "Hipster Black Metal." These guys/guy/girls/girl is the antithesis of Stupid Metal Fan(tm). This is Smart Metal Fan(tm). They Write Good - like they either went to Jewish Universities, or are Smart. They discuss Metal bands I've never heard of. They made me even want to go to a Metal Show of a (Black?) Metal Band I'd never heard of, in a club I've never heard of in my City. (Blondie's, which is apparently in/near Mexicantown.) I didn't go because that was a work night, it was a Hell Of Stressful Long Way to drive, and I'm on a Restricted License, and driving down there would not be Adhering to the Letter of the Law.

Anyway. I'm glad I found this blog. Yes, they like music piracy even more than I do.

I was watching "True Life: I'm Polyamorous" the other day. That was a GREAT episode. Great because it's insidious how MTV's True Life can pretend to be "Shining A Light On Important yet Untalked-About-Topics", yet they are putting a very obvious Spin on these topics. Namely, in this episode, they showed what a huge clusterfuck Polyamorous Relationships can be, hence making Polyamory-Haters like myself Very Titillated: "See? See??! Yallz Bustaz!" I said contemptuously to the people in the TV.

It took me a little while after the episode to finally realize: "Whoa. This is TV. This is NOT True Life." If I were these people in these episodes, I'd be appalled, because the show does not present them or their Poly lifestyle in a flattering way at all.

(You can easily find the Blogspot Blog of the one Cute Redhaired Brooklyn Girl. I'm tempted to use her comment section to advertise the SIBHoD, but I don't know that I really Want to Advertise the SIBHoD in that way.)

I personally am not a fan of Polyamory; I used to outright HATE it, thinking, "This can't possibly work. People can only deny their jealousy for so long. Jealousy is part of being Human." And I still do kinda think that. And it was obvious that Jealousy was tearing these True-Life Polyamorous Relationships Apart.

In contrast, I wanted to see a Successful Polyamorous Relationship, because I wanted to be Proven Wrong. But I was not.

And I'll tell you right now, I might be a Potential Cheater, but there's no way I'mma Potential Poly. I am way too prone to jealousy. I don't like sharing. I don't like that kind of openness. But that's just me.

Anyway, I'm mentioning this episode because I'm Jumping off of "Hipster Black Metal From Brooklyn", and The Cute Redhead Kerry (Now with cute Short Red hair!) is DEFINITION Naive Obnoxious Brooklyn Bourgeois Hipster. She WOULD be Poly.

Anyway2: True Life really needs to drop its "serious, award-winning" self-promotion, because all it is, is cheap, sensational titillation. Nothing More. You'd think The Older, Experienced Brooklyn Polyamorist Diana would recognize this, and hence not use the show to promote her own Poly Activism. Unless she subscribes to the "Any Publicity Is Good Publicity" school of thought. Which Is Bullshit. Even the SIBHoD recognizes that it's Bullshit. And that's why he's/I's being Real Reluctant to leave a link on Kerry's blog.

Note to Self: what I really need to get is a TIVO. I hear those are ridiculously expensive, however. Not on or underneath my Budget Line, let's just put it that way.

Econ Text (Slavin) suggests that Norway is even more "Socialist" than Sweden, which "pales in comparison to the extent of the cradle-to-grave services, sense of egalitarianism, and disdain for wealth seen in Norway." Interesting: I thought Sweden and Norway were basically the same with their Econ system.

Could we speculate on how this Extreme Socialism might influence the sound of Swedish (black) metal vs Norwegian (black) metal?

(Warning: lots of annoying, somewhat manic sentence fragments here; I was getting Antsy)

Early Ulver and Semi-Early Taake, both Norwegian bands; Taake hailing from Bergen, same as Burzum; apparently Bergen is more "old-school, bucolic, and pure" and Oslo is more "modern, filthy, gallic"; of course, Oslo and Bergen are basically the only two cities in Norway. Burzum hates Blacks, and Taake got infamy for painting a huge swastika on his chest during a performance. Don't know where Ulver is from. Cannot guess. They seem more chilled-out, less hateful, much more into "making an artistic statement", although they used "Pure Black Metal" to make said Artistic statement early in their career. The stuff is classy and melodic but still kinda raw. Especially "Nattens Madrigal", possibly Rawest Black Metal I've ever heard. Taake is both classy (sweet riff4ge) and raw (good raw production, angry blast-beats).

Blast-beats imply anger and tension, and are often used to express such (ulver: "nattens") but can also be used as an atmospheric, wall-of-sound "backdrop", in which they are still pretty fast but not Hit-so-hard, not expressing such tension, but rather, evidencing the pleasantly paradoxical truth that such a frenetic, bipolar rhythm can be used to create somewhat chillaxed music: (ulver: "bergtatt.")

I've been seeking Black Metal with that perfect combination of Atmosphericness, Angry Raweality, and Classiness.

The album-cover of Ulver's "Bergtatt" is Exemplary of what I mean by Pure Atmospheric Classiness. (although those "serif-tails" on the letters are arguably kinda gay.)

(Although this [awesome] song might be a bad example of the stuff I was talking about, because there are No Blast-Beats nor any Black-Metal Vokills innit. But rest assured those Idioms appear elsewhere on this album).

Good ("Listenable") production is Paramount (I originally, absentmindedly wrote "tantamount", good l-rd I gotta get with the prog). Ulver clearly knows what they are doing here, and uses the production to enhance the song. Many bands have good songs, but the bad production works against the song. FAIL. In this way, production is arguably just as important as the song itself. It IS a big deal.

Discuss: It might be easier to write compelling [metal] music than to get a good [metal] production. I very rarely like a band/album unless that album has a good production too. Even then, I can tell you the ways that production is Not Ideal: "well, the snare drum sounds kind of gay right there." "Oh. The guitars are a little too crunchy and clear. They're just not raw enough. (e.g., Dissection, "Reinkaos", vs "Storm of The Light's Bane, Alternate Mix.") "The vokills are too loud." "No Bass." "It simply lacks that It Factor O' Uniqueness," etc.

Good Producing does not come easily, I'll be the first to admit. Every time I do a Song, it's excruciating and Impossible trying to get it to sound right.

Nodtveidt Suicide. Not Outwardly Associated with Crippling Depression, anomalous from most suicides. Much more of a sacrificial suicide, esoteric religion. Creative guy, "Reinkaos" was solid. Haters suggest he was butt-banged in prison. He went to prison for killing a Gay, Ethnic guy who was flirting with him. He has a rather misogynistic tattoo on his arm. He was probably an asshole, possibly in deep denial. Some described him as quiet and withdrawn. He was known as a Good Writer. He had a Lady-Friend at the time of his death. Would like somebody to write a Biography of this fascinating guy. His brother, along with the original drummer of Dissection, is in some Goth/Glam/Shock Metal band that's big in Sweden. "Nodtveidt" does not sound like a typical Scandinavian name. I already talked about this didn't I.

Downloading Rotting Christ, "Triarchy of the Lost Lovers." I recall really liking one song off this album, but I haven't listened to it in at LEAST 7 Years, off some random label comp cd. I recall it had classy riffage and great production. And people generally seem to like this band. So I'm crossing my fingers. Rotting Christ. Good Name, Uh?

Immediate Reaction Halfway Through The Very First Listening: This is pretty solid! I kind of expected it to be solid, but to hear that it is indeed solid is a good thing. Good songs, good production. Epic, Melodic metal from that brief window of time where I was Young, and where Melodic Metal itself was neither Old Nor New-School. Not damn bad. They have a song called fucking "ONE WITH THE FOREST." This is gonnago on the GoGear next time Fo Sho.

I tend to get nervous before Honourable Judges when they are publicly Judging Me. So I was pretty nervous at my Sentencing. I was even more nervous than I'd expected, because, the day before, I'd read a (very well-written and recommendable) serial-article called "The Washtenaw Jail Diary" in which a guy who was not expecting to go to jail indeed was sentenced to jail, and he was appalled at the "human rights abuses" he witnessed. (This article was posted on a blog/site called "The Ann Arbor Chronicle", which is, so far as I've read, a valid and decent purveyor of "alternative journalism" in a city which has recently lost its major newspaper; the AAC may be of interest to any current or former residents or visitors of that town)

At my "Pretrial Hearing" over a month ago, my Attorney-At-Law had succeeded in working-down my charge from "Operating While Intoxicated" to "Operating While Visibly Impaired". Which was exactly what we wanted. Now, we were hoping for some more mercy in the Actual Sentencing: for example, reduction of some of the Fines/Fees, a more lenient Probation, etc.

I told the Att'y the truth: "As long as I don't go to jail, I'll be very happy. I'll do 218,000,000,000 hours of Community Service, and go to a MADD meeting every day and have crying mothers tell me what a horrible monster I am. I just don't want to go to Jail, get Butt-Raped, and hence, be obligated to Commit Suicide when I get out."

I didn't quite say all that, like that, but you know what I mean.

I indeed made a brief optional statement to The Court at the suggestion of the Att'y, who later confirmed my suspicion that it was a Solid Statement indeed.

MY SENTENCE: One year of Reporting Probation (i.e., I have to go in and meet with the P.O. once a month; in contrast to NonReporting probation, where monthly check-ins are NonMandatory, and you only check-in if they want You to); The Obligation to be Randomly Drug'n'Alcohol Tested; No Drinking of Alcohol or Doing Of Drugs (see previous); Paying of Restitution and other Court Fees; and, I got to have my Alcohol Tether ("SCRAM") removed.

The Judge had piercing blue eyes and was Definition Hardcore Authority, just like one would imagine A Judge to be. Absolutely Not the kind of guy you'd ever want to fuck wit. He said that my extremely high BAC was suggestive of A Drinking Problem. (Some States/Commonwealths would argue that it was over Three Times Their Legal Limit.)

Since the Probation Officer is basically The Arm of the Law/Judge, then if the P.O. says I've been drinking, then I've been drinking (even if I haven't), thus violating my probation, thus probably going to JAIL, possibly for 93 days. Thus, it goes without saying, that my Gameplan is to continue to Do Cold Turkey, and to continue to be the Most Cooperative Convict Ever.

But when I went into the Tether Place to get the Scram removed, I was a bit appalled to find it Full O' Recidivists.

The Tether Place is worthy of its own separate tangent. It's a tiny little place, in an old house converted into an office. It looks honestly pretty "Ghetto", but the staff are apparently very good at what they do. There are people there taking/giving phone calls 24/7.

I've noticed that we Convicts/Criminals are treated like Second-Class citizens. We are made to wait for extremely long periods of time with no explanation. We are given an absolute minimum of Information, sometimes less. I guess I can't really complain, because, as a commenter to the "Washtenaw Jail Diary" says, if you can't do the time, don't do the crime. These experiences have been Hell Of stressful and Hell Of Deterrent not to do it again - to soberly (ha,ha) learn a real lesson.

So I was appalled, but not really surprised, to see some Real Recidivists in there the other day. I hadn't really seen Recidivists yet. I'd seen the place Busy, with its Ungodly Tiny waiting room Absolutely Jam-Packed With Drunk Drivers, but they were never very talkative. Until now.

One guy had gotten 3 DUIs in under a year. The majority of people were on Offense #2 or more. Some people had gone to jail for Felony DUIs. They were on Blowing Machines and Voice Recognition Machines and one guy even showed his Face Modem, which takes a picture of your face at 3 predetermined times a day. These Super-Stringent Machines are apparently what they give the more serious Repeat Offender.

These things don't really suggest The Recidivisitic Attitude per se, but the things the people SAY sometimes do. Talking about HE didn't cause the accident - some "Bitch" ran into HIM while he happened to be drunk. Jokes about "there's a store right across the street" when somebody gets their Thang removed. Being intimately familiar with a laundry-list of judges and probation officers.

It's not the most savory of scenes, and I'm concerned about being associated with "that."

Although one guy told a funny story about he got drunk and decided to go to burger king, and was picked-up when he hit the curb in the parking lot. My True Soul Brother, him.

Basically, no-one showed any inclination to stop drinking because, hale, when you've already crossed the Felony Threshold, there's no going back.

So I'm grateful for the Insight to see that Alcohol has never really gotten me anything Good in life, and, recently, it has done a whole lotta Bad which I hope never to go through again.

Taking a cue from the ToRobbz Torrentz I've been listening to lately, I've made my own Motivational Audio "Book", which is really just a sound file of me reading and briefly commenting on All ~100 of The Flashcards. You don't KNOW Definition Ridiculous until you're walking around Community College, looking at 18 year olds, and hearing your own weird voice in your ears telling You how Good You are. You should try it sometime!

New Season of "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" has commenced. I'm thankful. I forgot how much I liked this show, and I'm glad to have it back. I like that the show creates its own illogical, ridiculous universe, in which the characters' crazy-strings are pulled, and they are simply turned loose. Hilarious chaos ensues. Some of the Humour is SO absurd that even Timneric-lovin' STONERS would die laughing, but the gritty street-of-philly framing of the show keeps it from ever going into Complete Druggie La-La-Land. The characters are clearly much more biased towards Alcohol, anyway, what with their Bar and their drinking before Noon. Nothing is ever taken seriously, thus, "Sunny" is a great escape from the Real World. And it proves that Danny DeVito is truly a force to be reckoned with.

Speaking of old-school comedic actours, I watched the heavily-hyped premiere of "Community", as I was curious to:
1. See Chevy Chase back after all these years
2. Critique its portrayal of A Community College, as I spend a substantial amount of time at one IRL.

Verdict: Chevy Chase steals the show, at his non-sequitur-spouting, mentally-insane Caddyshack Best; all the very worst, ugliest, nastiest stereotypes of Community Colleges are proudly Trotted-Out (All CC Students are there because they are Big Hardcore FAILURES; this is college-for-LOSERS); and I find the major Women-Character to be offensively one-dimensional and weak; definitely not a good foil to Joel McHale's (well-played) Douchebag.

I'll give it more chances, of course. It's on right before "Sunny". I really hope it delves past the Horrible Stereotypes in future episodes, and says something more profound. And that Women-Characters are given more depth.

Well that's about it. Have a good week-end, and remember, I'll give you $11,000 if You can get me a Decent Job Somewhere, and Just Being Drunk does not somehow make it Humourous to Get Facialed on an Unprotected One-Night Stand.