Danthology

New Gaga - "Bad Romance"

2009-11-14T14:19:00.002-05:00

And on a serious note...

Gold Gloves and Silver Sluggers

2009-11-12T19:31:00.003-05:00

Yet another repeat: Phillies shortstop Jimmy "J-Roll" Rollins and center fielder Shane "the Flyin' Hawaiian" Victorino have been named the National League Rawling's Gold Glove winners at their positions. Major League Baseball, by way of voting by league managers and coaches (though they can not vote for their own players), bestows the Gold Glove on the best fielder in each position in both leagues, and Jimmy has won his third in a row, while Shane has his second.

In the olden days of yore, the Gold Glove was most likely given to the player who committed the fewest errors and most helped his team intangibly with his fine defense. Today, such wacky stats as UZR (Ultimate Zone Rating) and RF (Range Factor) are considered. UZR, developed by FanGraphs, determines the number of runs above or below average a fielder is by combining his rankings in "range runs," which quantifies how well a fielder is able to get to balls hit in his vicinity, and "error runs," which takes into account how many errors a fielder makes compared to an average fielder at the same position on the same amount of balls in play. Range Factor, meanwhile, was first developed in 1977 by statistician Bill James, and it represents the number of successful plays a fielder makes per game by combining putouts and assists and dividing that number by innings played. Sorta confusing, but just a more concrete way to more fairly give out the awards in this (slightly post?)-Money Ball era.

As far as the rest of the league goes, my man Carlos "Chooch" Ruiz was robbed behind the plate with the award going to the Cardinal's catcher Yadier Molina, winning his second straight Gold Glove after being an All-Star and compiling some mind-boggling stats, including an ERA of 3.48 for St. Louis pitching when he's the backstop. Also winning for the Cards is Cy Young candidate Adam Wainwright, taking his first. The Dodger's Orlando "O-Dog" Hudson won it at second base (quit throwing balls into the stands Chase Utley!) and Matt Kemp won one of the three outfield awards. San Diego's Adrian Gonzalez won it a first base, beating Albert "Mr. Fucking Perfect" Pujols and a much improved Ryan "Soul Pole" Howard. Washington's Ryan Zimmerman took home his much-deserved first Gold Glove at third base with popularity contest winner, the Mets' David Wright, having an injury plagued season, because he is a Met. Lastly, the final outfield award went to ex-Phil and current Houston Astro, Michael Bourn. We all love Michael Bourn around here. He was the trade that brought Brad Lidge in as our closer, and he is speedy and dangerous and makes every play. Awesome player.

Over in the Junior Circuit, the Twins' Joe Mauer won at catcher, Yankees Mark "Happy Gilmore" Texiera at first base and Derek Jeter at shortstop, the Tiger's and ex-Phillie Placido "Jawbone" Polanco at second base, the Rays' Eva Longoria at third base, Angels' Torii Hunter, Mariner's Ichiro (of course), and B-More O's Adam Jones(!) took the three Gloves for the outfield, and Mark "Perfect Game" Buehrle won on the mound.

Over on the offensive side, only one Phil brings home any hardware. Second baseman Chase Utley won his fourth consecutive Silver Slugger award. He is the cream of the crop and an old school player, great career so far, great season and post-season. I'm glad he's on our side! In the American League, it was the Blue Jays Aaron Hill, who also won the A.L. Comeback Player of the Year Award. Of course Albert Pujols won it at first base, a very tough position and he won it over two guys with more R.B.I.'s than him... not exactly my credentials. But the Silver Slugger credentials are more varied than those of the Golden Glove. Batting average, runs batted in (my personal fave), home runs, slugging percentage, on base percentage, and on base plus slugging percentage! Which is the most important? Well, Albert led in all of 'em except R.B.I.'s. In the A.L. Mark Texiera has the 2009 matching set in Gold and Silver. Atlanta's Brian McCann won it for catcher, and if he hits off other teams like he hits off the Phillies, he deserves it. No surprise that Minnesota's Joe Mauer takes his third SS for the A.L. At shortstop, Florida's Hanley "Hanley, Hanley" Ramirez takes home his second consecutive, while Derek Jeter continues to pile up 2010 post season awards with his fourth Silver Slugger. Over at the hot corner, two SS newbies take the Silver Slugger, as they did the Gold Gloves, Tampa Bay's Longoria and Washington's Zimmerman. Out in the outfield, in the National League, Milwaukee's Ryan Braun gets his second straight while two young Dodger stars, Matt Kemp and Andre Ethier both get their first. In the American League, Seattle's Ichiro takes his third trophy, and known glovesman, L.A. Angel's Torii Hunter gets his first, as does Boston veteran Jason Bay.

Congratulations to all winners, but most especially our Phillies! Great work boys!

What We Do Is Secret

2009-11-12T18:47:00.005-05:00

About five years ago I saw a listing on Craigslist looking for punk rock people to come out to L.A. and be extras in the movie they were making about the Germs. Now, I have no particular affinity for the Hollywood punk scene, though as a punk rock historian I appreciate it quite a bit. Still, it was convoluted and short lived, in its original form. In New York in the 1970's, after a couple months in, the press was just picking up on it, so you didn't get less intelligent, less creative, less tortured kids coming out of Long Island after seeing it on the 5 o'clock news and inventing hardcore before the scene could gel. That happened later. But out in Hollywood, they had a comparative scene about a year lagging, so the Sex Pistols had been happening, etc... and fashion punkery had already been engaged. Sure, there were luminaries like X and the Germs, and notable the Weirdos and the Stranglers, but even their best music was deliberate and dirge like, angry and rarely tongue-in-cheek, lacking in the pop sensibilities of their East Coast and English counterparts. You know, albums full of major-chord progression power chords. Worse still was the influx of Orange County, suburban beach punks that dumbed it all down. But still, the Germs, right! When Tit Patrol was living on North Street in Newark, the walls were all spray painted, my breakfast, lunch, and dinner all came in 40 oz. containers, and Video Showplace rented eight VHS tapes for eight dollars for eight nights, so one of our most frequent pick-ups was Penelope Spheeris' "The Decline of Western Civilization", the documentary about the turning of the Hollywood scene from the older artistic nihilists to the younger "get fucked up" crew. The Germs, X, and Black Flag performances are awesome, and the time spent with the bands off stage is even way better, even though the famous scene in which Darby makes breakfast and his "roommate" talks about the dead painter they found was a ruse. Darby's actual roommate was Tony the Hustler, but he didn't want the documentary showing him being gay in any way. In "Decline" Darby Crash is definitely the hero of the movie, but it's a facade. I tried to get Karl to drive me out to Hollywood to audition for the movie, but he had to work, so we didn't do it.

Years later, I'm listening to G.I. and get an inkling to check the Germs movie out. Now, some movies make you uncomfortable in a way that takes away from the film. Todd Solenz's "Storytelling" is a great example. That scene with super-cutie, flat-chested Selma Blair and the large black dude is, for my money, too exploitative and gross. And I like exploitative and gross! "Kids" also is unbelievably sucky in that same "aren't we real, so real and bad" way. Some movies make you uncomfortable in a good way that engages you, "Psycho" being the obvious, and way out of the league, example. "What We Do Is Secret" is not uncomfortable in either of these ways, it's not uncomfortable at all. It's kinda like the Germs meets "Mean Girls." They kept pretty close to the Germs plot as I know it: Two kids gets kicked out of an L.A. hippy Scientology school for "mind control", convincing the other students that they were God and his son, Jesus, they decide to start a band to enact one of their's "five year plan", they recruit valley girls to fill out the band, rename themselves Bobby Pyn, then Darby Crash and Pat Smear, become the Germs (after Nietzsche's "germ of an idea"), play a terrible first show at the Orpheum with the Damned in the audience at which Darby does his best Iggy Pop, gain popularity after Darby cuts the shit out of his chest (also like Iggy) at the Masque, start to draw and incite their audience into riots, make a record produced by Joan Jett, can't get booked due to reputation, Darby breaks up the band and goes to England where he becomes a New Romantic, comes back and forms the Darby Crash Band, who suck, does one more Germs show reunion to make a lot of cash, reveals the telos of his five-year plan as suicide, an intentional heroin overdose, meanwhile, unbeknownst to him, on that same day John Lennon was shot, dooming Darby to obscurity. The whole thing is framed by a pre-suicide Darby interview, conducted by Slash Magazine's Kickboy Face, and Darby narration which is him reading from Nietzsche's "Beyond Good and Evil". He reveals in the interview that his motivation is political, not on a nationwide scale, but on the level of personal relationships. His Germs lyrics are his message, that the only way to succeed on a national or personal level is through fascism, and he is the ideal fascist leader, to his "circle" of friends. Darby is also obsessed with the cyclical nature of things, as shown through the blue "Circle One" Germs logo that he and his band and extended followers wear on armbands or spray paint on the wall or burn into your arm with a cigarette when you are family.

The storytelling of the movie is actually really good, though how accurately it portrays how the characters enacted is in question. They all act like kids, and I guess they were. Unlike the older, more sophisticated New York scene led by artists, poets, and addicts who then made music, these guys were right out of high school, emulating artists and once in a while, becoming one. In Darby's case, relying on the direction of inner demons, and as for the rest of the Germs, it would seem, relying on their belief in Darby and their love of the Germs, in a classic "we're all in this together" mentality. They are all portrayed as wildly naive, babes at Darby's teet, and though he could talk a big game, he was just as naive as anyone. Richard Hell was a manipulator concerned with art and by extension, himself. Darby Crash was a manipulator concerned with himself, and by extension, art. So, they do all this well, and make it well worth watching, but the problem for me lies in this being a movie about punk rock, but not being a punk rock movie. Everybody is a lamb, so tame and self-questioning. The Germs come off as as nice as, or nicer, than me, and far more conservative. When I first heard the story of Darby Crash, it made me uncomfortable. This highly, highly charismatic dude who uses his power to manipulate everyone around him into thinking he is a genius, knowing the whole while he was gonna abandon them all. In real life, he used real-deal mind control techniques derived from L. Ron Hubbard's Scientology, which his high school was theoretically based on, to coerce a group of friends and admirers into a cult-like clique young Darby named Circle One. He idolized Charles Manson, and Circle One was primarily female, and when punk came to Hollywood, this became the Germs fan base. See, in the time elapsed since the seventies, since the first punk rock movement, alot has changed. For one, nothing is musically shocking anymore. The most shocking thing is Lady Gaga because she is pop as fuck but says way iller shit, better said, than Britney Spears or even Saves the Day ever would. What I would consider shocking is a fully functioning real rock and roll band that is all new, all now, but fully aware of their place in American Cultural history. What else has changed is that it is definitely not cool to have minions anymore. It is very not punk rock. Using your charisma to manipulate yourself into a darling persona, no matter how deconstructed, is passe, and not fun at all. What's cool is a non-self aware self-derivative persona that would organically line up and be accessorized by one's own grasp of recent history, (re:pop culture?), and may the best person prosper. This movie is just fun. It doesn't really take you to any given dark side, or give you insight into the depths of Darby's depravity. It just has him as the best writer in his group of friends who managed to pull of some antics, and ended up taking himself too seriously, but it's, you know, based on a true story and so it works.

Interestingly enough, after the movie was made, Shane West, the dude playing Darby, changed his name to Shane Wreck and officially joined the remaining Germs (thirty years older!) to tour and play big corporate events like Warped Tour. I'm pretty sure that that is one big reason why Darby offed himself, so such lameness would never occur with the Germs moniker. If the real Darby Crash had any semi-spoken lyrical theme, anti-institutionalism would be a big one. Even though West looks like a prettier Darby and can emulate the sounds he made, it is a pretty big disgrace. Unlike the Ramones, who I would have happily seen at any age with any bassist (Dee Dee forever, though!), I would only wanna see the Germs with Darby Crash, preferably younger than 22. It's really not the music or lyrics that made the Germs so awesome, it was the conglomeration of what they were saying, when they were saying it, how they were saying it, and who was delivering the message. I like Darby's lyrics, but this is one subject on which I am jaded. I mean, I've heard it said over and over again so many times since, were the Germs really the first to lay that style of lyric down? If so, he definitely has a wildly distinctive lyrical voice that may rank as the most imitated in punk rock, and if so, and it would have been a brave artistic move to expose your pain and especially anger in such an open and vulnerable and visibly poetic way, especially when disco ruled the airwaves. So many years later, these themes and techniques Darby pioneered have been made crude, but his lines are still elegant and the work of a natural. I won't undersell him on this point: Darby Crash was hyper-intelligent. From a very young age he read Hitler, Nietzsche, Hesse, Crowley and crafted his philosophy, or non-philosophy. The real Darby Crash explains, "It's a way of life. Fascist is totally extreme right. We're not extreme right. Maybe there's a better word for it that I haven't found yet, but I'm still going to have complete control . . . One day you'll pray to me." The movie shows Darby using typed lyric sheets as his most frequent form of promotion. Such as:

I'm a lexicon devil with a battered brain
And I'm searchin' for a future-the world's my aim
So gimme gimme your hands-
Gimme gimme your minds
Gimme gimme this-
Gimme gimme tha-yea-yea-t...

I want toy tin soldiers that can push and shove
I want gunboy rovers that'll wreck this club
I'll build you up and level your heads
We'll run it my way-cold men and politics dead...

I'll get silver guns to drip old blood
Let's give this established joke a shove
We're gonna wreak havoc on the rancid mill
I'm searchin' for something even if I'm killed...

Empty out your pockets-you don't need their change
I'm giving you the power to rearrange
Together we'll run to the highest prop
Tear it down and let it drop...away...

There are some good scenes in the movie though. The Germs on air with Rodney on the ROQ is mega-cheesy and funny, and Darby dealing with his homosexuality is precious. This movie would have me believe that he died a virgin! One of the best, most punk aspects of the movie is the near inability of the actors to act. They are at like "Saved By the Bell" levels of acting ability, and that is one thing that makes it more real. Like in Chuck Klosterman says in his "Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs," anything important is inevitably a cliche and probably doesn't reflect reality, but in (not) doing so it actually does reflect reality, which is not very real at all. Maybe the film makers are right on after all. If you watched the movie on YouTube (as I did) and you read the comments (like I did), you're bombarded by the holier-than-thou and punk-as-fuck who voice their insignificant opinions based on their punk rock pedigree that you would assume involves getting shot up by Darby himself, based on their self-righteousness, with Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong as their sacrificial lamb. Don't mind their crassly-typed psuedo thoughts, they're neither here nor there. Some legitimate gripes would include that the Germs all look like models, with Lorna Doom being played by Bijou Phillips. The Germs were young and good-looking, but this layer of gloss would be an example of the bone of contention between the filmmaker and the wannabe complain-o punks. They paint drummer Don Bolles as a happy-go-lucky moron, but I understand he was the compulsive bad dude himself. More to the point, the movie has Darby singing into the mike whenever on stage. I think that the Germs are more well known for Darby's avoidance of the microphone than they are for Darby's suicide or their music. Plus, you could easily get thrown off by the ludicrous dialogue and its hackneyed, amateurish delivery, but why? This is a movie about the Germs, not "Pet Sounds".

"Annihilation Man" by Brendan Mullen

Watch "What We Do Is Secret"

Hot Stove! 11/12/09

2009-11-12T14:02:00.002-05:00

The Phillies have Placido Polanco, Mark DeRosa, and Adrian Beltre on their third base wish list, according to sources speaking to Jim Salisbury of the Philadelphia Inquirer. Salisbury adds that Chone Figgins and Miguel Tejada are also of interest, but to a lesser degree.

Salisbury notes Korean reports suggesting Chan Ho Park wants to start in 2010. Amaro has heard differently from Park's agent. Starting was a big factor in Park's decision to sign with the Phillies a year ago.

The Baltimore Orioles have expressed interest in Pedro Feliz. With longtome O Melvin Mora heading out at age 38, the Orange Birds (I just made that up) have their eye on several third basemen (including Adrian Beltre, Mark DeRosa, and Feliz), but only after the Phillies have had their pick. I would love to see Pete Happy stay in the area where I can watch him on MASN.

The Braves announced Tim Hudson's extension today, according to Dave O'Brien of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. He says it's a three-year deal worth around $9MM per year, with an option for 2013. Hudson's new deal overwrites the $12MM mutual option he had for 2010.

There's word that the Rays could look into Matsui if they move Pat Burrell.

The Cubs and Rays are still discussing a possible Milton Bradley-Pat Burrell swap, but it doesn't sound like the two sides are close on the money issue. One of the report's sources describes talks as "worse than Chinese water torture."

Pat Burrell, Rays. He's been linked to the Cubs in a possible Bradley swap, though the money doesn't match up and the Cubs would have to flip Burrell or else have ghastly outfield corner defense.

It's a possibility that the Yankees could re-sign both Damon and Matsui, since they still trust Damon's ability to play left field. Matsui, on the other hand, would again be relegated to DH duty, although Cashman notes that another team could view him as an outfielder. Based on comments we heard earlier today, that seems unlikely.

The Phillies are "intent on pursuing Chone Figgins hard," while the Mets are also fans of the Seth Levinson client. The Angels still hope to re-sign Figgins. Joel Sherman of the New York Post has more on the Mets' interest, explaining that moving Luis Castillo would make signing Figgins easier. Sherman thought another reasonable addition for the Mets might be Carlos Lee, but his idea was shot down by Ed Wade and a Mets official.

The Mariners have reached an agreement on a one-year deal with Ken Griffey Jr., according to Larry Stone of the Seattle Times. ESPN's Jerry Crasnick says Junior's new contract is similar to last year's. SI's Jon Heyman says it's a $2MM base with incentives that could exceed $1MM.

Get league-wide Hot Stove action at MLB Trade Rumors.

Go Phils! Gone Phil.

2009-11-10T13:22:00.001-05:00

The first Autumn leaf has done dropped from our Phils tree. Longtime Philadelphia right-hander Brett Myers will not be pursued to return in 2010. After seven years and 73 wins in red pinstripes, the noted hot-head will have a new uniform next year. I always liked Myers, a real red neck who was never scared of Phillies fans, no matter what he did. I liked how he explained his 2006 battery of his wife in Boston, saying he was just trying to get the drunk woman out of the room and it got rough, and that they were both drunk. I understand that. None of the alleged hair-dragging or hitting actually occurred, but Brett is a rough dude. Myers was raised by his father, a boxing promoter and hustler, moving from house to house on the wrong side of Jacksonville. Bad-ass. I like how he saved 21 games in 2007 and was on the hill when we won our first NL East Pennant since 1993. But he'll be in a different city next year, and that is ok. It is super-cool to see a player in any sport that is analogous with a city and uniform and then see him in a different context, a different color. (As long as you can see their face... it's considerably less cool in football or hockey, though the on field ramifications are the same.) It's also nice to not pay him twelve million next year. I hope Brett has a lot of success wherever he ends up pitching. My guess: Detroit What!

Also likely to not be on the roster next year, fan fave Matty Stairs just didn't get it done as well or as frequently as we needed him to, so some other big bruiser or strong righty will probably fill his role. Someone like Jason Giambi or Nomar, vets with good plate discipline for pinch hit situations will be pursued and Matt will be offered a minor league contract, if anything. I loved Stairs' two years with the Phils and his Moonshot in L.A. in 2008 will forever be a part of Philadelphia Baseball lore. He should go DH for some underprivileged club and bestow some wisdom on their young sluggers. My guess: Cleavland.

Our back-up catcher is still and always in flux. Chris Coste was never consistent and Paul Bako is older and even more feeble. So Bako is out and we'll be searching for an actually good backup backstop. Yorvit "El Terrible" Torrealba's name has been bandied about, and we all know it would be good to get him in the second string. If nothing else, he beat the hell out of us for the last two seasons. Too bad we've traded off all our catching prospects behind Chooch - Jason Jaramillo is playing in Pittsburgh and Lou Marson is now famously in Cleavland. Bako should probably retire.

Another guy we got no use for is Eric Bruntlett. Sure, his unassisted triple play was awesome, but that is seriously all he did all year. Any given utility man is worth a try, with Jerry Hairston Jr. being the prime dude. He can play well anywhere and is a serious bench threat. Definitely keep Ben Francisco and Gregg Dobbs on the bench and add Hairston, Torealba, and Giambi/Garciaparra and our second string is doing just fine.

With guaranteed starting pitching in Cliff Lee (picking up his 2010 option was GM Amaro's first order of off-season business), Cole Hamels (simply MUST be better next year than last), probable Joe Blanton's status pending possible arbitration (he'll still be a Phillie next year, he's an innings eater), J.A. Happ (let's see if he wins Rookie of the Year... he's possible trade bait), and Jamie Moyer (needs to go to bullpen), and Pedro Martinez not ruled out for a return bid (also must go to bullpen), Amaro has some decisions to make. So, the Blue Jays still wanna trade Roy Halliday. We'd get him for one year (then he's a free agent) and they'd almost certainly want Happ as well as one of our two outfield prospects and somebody thrown in for good measure. Lee, Halliday, Hamels, Blanton and... let's bring up vaunted prospect Kyle Drabek and on paper we'd have the best starting rotation in the major leagues, well worth the trade with a stacked two thirds young outfield, let's make that deal! And if Drabek still needs to marinate, give Kyle Kendrick or Andrew Carpenter the low pressure five spot.

In the bullpen, Lidge will remain, and it is almost impossible for him to not have a better season this year. Madson will be there. We're in talks to bring back Chan Ho Park, who really did do a good job once he was back in the pen. Scott Eyre is a free agent this season and about to undergo elbow surgery to have those "floating bodies" we've all heard so much about removed. He has stated that if he pitches next year, he wants it to be with the Phils, and we would love to have him, as he was the definition of solid all year for us. With Clay Condrey and Chad Durbin both up for arbitration, Amaro will likely have to cut ties with one of them. Most likely Condrey's smaller price tag and consistency will win him the spot, sending Durbin, a Philadelphia bullpen staple, out into the world. J.C. Romero should be up and running, and with wily veterans Moyer and/or Martinez out there, the pen isn't looking so shabby, if everybody does what they're supposed to... Brad Lidge. Nonetheless, we gotta stock up on possible pen arms for Spring Training and see who sifts out, with J.J. Putz coming off a lame year with the lame Mets he could be affordable and a good rebound, and any other mid-level high possible reward type guys should definitely get a look.

Now, our starting lineup... seven eighths of it will be back for sure. Shane Victorino and Carlos Ruiz are arbitration eligible this off season, and if last years players were any indication, Amaro will try and sign these two up for a while before any hearing takes place. Without Myers twelve mil, and this year we finally get to stop paying Adam Eaton and Geoff Jenkins, we can just pay our guys what they want and deserve. Chooch made an astoundingly low $425,000 this year while being absolutely invaluable behind and at the plate. Jayson Werth, Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, and Raul Ibanez all get raises (as does bench-man Greg Dobbs), and will all be happy and ready to win. J-Roll is of course set at short. The only man out is Pedro Feliz at third. The Phils declined his option and bought out his contract, looking to either pay him less, or more likely find someone who can field AND hit. Pete Happy's disgraceful post season was unacceptable, even to me. Los Angeles Angel's speedster Chone Figgins (pronounced Sean) is at the top of the list, but he is a lead off man, and that is not exactly what we need unless J-Roll or Sugar Shane drop to the seven spot. Adrian Beltre is next in line and possibly the best fit. He can field like Feliz and is a big hitter. Even ex-Phillie Placido "Jawbone" Polanco has been mentioned. Either way it'll be cool to get a little bit of new blood in the lineup and see Pedro successful somewhere else where they need a solid vet at the hot corner.

With our team in such a great position, I don't have any big wishes, most of our wishes are already granted, except to bring in another high-class starting arm, and the only one I respect nearly as much as Halliday is Joel Pinero. Either would greatly solidify the spectacle that is Phillies Basball. Entire coaching staff back next year. 91 days until pitchers and catchers report!!

Hussiskunk Punk Radio Top 25

2009-11-09T11:09:00.005-05:00

MOST PLAYED ARTISTS
Week Ending 11.08.09

1. Destructors666
2. Jonny Manak And The Depressives
3. Fed Up
4. The Pivot Foots
5. The Chuckies
6. The Headies
7. C.D. Truth
8. Pinhead Gunpowder
9. The Rogue Nations
10. Yesterday's Ring
11. The Dick Panthers
12. Werevilsdare
13. Dirty Boulevard
14. Ellen Degenerate
15. Ese
16. My Son The Bum
17. North Lincoln
18. Revenge Of The Mormons
19. Skinny Dick Jones
20. The Bomb
21. A.F.S.
22. Control
23. Disassociate
24. Fanshen
25. Kamikaze

That is correct! Two Madison Underground artists in Hussiskunk's Top 25, with Tit Patrol coming in at 35 and climbing! (I hope!) Congrats to my fellow Headies (21 spins last week) and Skinny Dick Jones (18 spins last week)! And, most importantly, drop Hussieskunk an email (request@hussieskunk.com) and request your fave Maddy tracks and help us reach the top! May I suggest The Headies - "Super Booty." Thanks everybody!

Hey Yankees...

2009-11-05T12:58:00.000-05:00

All is right with the world: the self-righteous have dollar-billed their way to the top, the free-market is triumphant! And we the poor are even more rich in spirit. Like Dem Bums from Brooklyn for all those years, I awake with a tussled 'stache and a steely-eyed, non-stop believement (patent pending) that "we'll get 'em next year." I feel very, very sorry for Yankees fans the world over. It must be tough living in that characterless and sideburnless environment. Yankees fans can be analogized to two siblings, a boy and a girl, raised by a celebrated military man who employs his successful battlefield tactics to home life as well. The boy buys in completely, sure that discipline and tough love are what's best for him because you do not question your commanding officer. He will never rebel because he reaps the rewards of being second in line to this nuclear patriarchy. The tradition of Yankee Blue. He believes in birthrights and so does his sister, spoiled, gorgeous but not beautiful, obnoxious to the world yet celebrated by her clan, herpes then inbreeding. The Yankees are the baseball embodiment of that button-down plastic fantastic Madison Avenue scene, the military-industrial complex, 2.5 children, weedin' out commies as the one's who can't afford to buy a cap. To be clear, it's not really about the money. In baseball, the front office must do anything they can, within the rules, to win, and one way to do that is to throw money at the problem, but I do not begrudge them that. Their big money aquisitions did not beat us. It was homegrown Yankees Jeter, Rivera, and Pettite, that insufferable Johnny Damon, and somber Matsui who got the job done. And for my two cents it was Brad Lidge's blown ninth inning tie in Game 4 that was the crucial loss for the good guys. We were not clutch at the plate (save for CHOOCH) and so they beat us. Still, I wouldn't trade any one of our guys for one of theirs. We win as a team and now we lose as a team, our team, the team I love, that I can not wait to see at Spring Training. But I do love to chew on sour grapes and now I have that oppurtunity. So, in the words of the immortal Tanner Boyle, "Hey Yankees... you can take your apology and your trophy and shove 'em straight up your ass!"

Madison Underground Vigilantism

2009-11-05T10:20:00.004-05:00

Could the News Journal and their online counterparts be any more feeble? No. Two nights ago my boy Murph foiled a mugging attempt outside his house in Browntown, and it seems they used stock copy to describe it, they were so off. For one, Murph is no "Good Samaritan" - he hates the bible!

The straight dope is as such: Murph got off work and had shot and a beer at the tavern of his choice, and came back to his cool new pad in the 500 block of South Harrison. His neighbors, two women were talking out on the porch so Murph, social butterfly that he is, was shootin' the breeze with them, when two men approached. One pulled a gun and demanded the three neighbors hand over their cash. Murph chose fight over flight or compliance and swacked the gun from the man's hand and away from the action. A fistfight, or as Murph nonchalantly put it, a "tussle" ensued in the street. Murph took a couple hits but ultimately won the fight with a bottle of Lowenbrau over the assailants head. The crooks took off, managing to get one lady's purse, which for some reason had her pin number in close proximity to her ATM card. It turns out the dudes used it to get three hundo from her account, but guess what? ATM machines ALL have video cameras these days, so they are still in hot water. I asked Murph if he got hurt at all and he responded with a smirk, "I got some scrapes on my knuckles from punching the dude in the face, but that's about it." When asked if he was scared, Murph reflected, "Yeah, but I really didn't have time to think about it. All I kept thinking was 'My mom is gonna kill me.'"

I for one think this is the coolest thing I've heard in quite some time, and confirms what we have suspected for quite some time: Murph is the Batman. So - Three-Two-One-Zero, Let's hear it for Murph, the hero!

Read the News Journal's faux journalistic take online, along with disgustingly racist, right wing comments.

The Good Irishman by Billy Frolic.

The Headies @ Mojo 13 on Friday the 13th

2009-11-04T16:15:00.002-05:00

Come out to Mojo 13 on Friday the 13th for more spoooooky fun with yer pals the Headies! Four bands total, but two of which had names far too long to cut out of the News Journal and Wizard Magazine.

And THAT'S Why They Call Him the Main Man!

2009-11-03T14:26:00.003-05:00

Dude, you gotta check these super-sweet Spidey's that the Main Man passed me to help while away my unemployment! He also gave Nikki a sweet "Glee" loser "L"/#1 foam finger (in association with Fox Media). That finger is too big to scan. In honor of the Main Man I'm gonna eat some hot wings.

Season of the Witch

2009-11-03T13:46:00.014-05:00

Awesome Halloween show at Paul's house... great music (Hot Toddy and the Wilmington Wastoids, Count von Count), great spread (hummus and cold cuts and all the desserts)! My only regret is that there are no Count von Pics in actions, as I was far too busy rockin' out to their Plow United cover set! Yup! You missed it! And they closed with a Tit Patrol cover! Wastoids shots by Nikki, all others by me.

Joanna Molloy is a See You Next Tuesday

2009-10-28T16:03:00.007-04:00

For all kids and oldsters reading, I'll forgo any foul language coursing through my spectacular brain. BUT, jeez, have you read any NY papers recently? While ESPN and the MLB network offer actual analysis into who their employees predict as winning this mega-heated Fall Classic, the major New Amsterdam newspapers print garbage that comes off as the whimperings of a once-feared bully whose victims have grown up and outsmarted him one too many times and who can now beat him up. I know all too well what it's like dealing with people/markets who can't keep up intellectually or physically, yet continue to run their mouths. I smile, hold moral high ground, and await my impending victories. But check it.

An arbitrarily chosen Flyin' Hawaiian is photo shopped in a "newspaper" cover that simultaneously degrades him, the Phillies, and cheerleaders. What is a cheerleader? One whose spirit is indomitable, believing even when all is lost. Yeah, Shane is a cheerleader, and so am I. Gotta problem with that? I'll arabesque yer ass. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, maybe a major NY paper is just saying that women in general are frivolous and to be reckoned with.

Even worse is what's inside. With what some have said is supposed to be funny, this Joanna Molloy broad decides to deride the city of Philadelphia as a whole with the excuse being that our teams are facing each other in the world series. Read it and... laugh? Do something...

PHILADELPHIA - Mobs of screaming people followed a green, pig-nosed monster around Philadelphia yesterday - and not because it's almost Halloween.

No, the huge displays of mass hysteria - first at City Hall and then at the magnificent 30th St. train station - came from Philadelphia Phillies fans incited by the team's mascot.

Mass delusion may be a better term for the phenomenon.

Believe it or not, people down here in Silly-delphia actually think the Phillies will beat the Yankees in the World Series, which starts tomorrow.

Did they also think Sanjaya would beat Jordin Sparks? That would be "American Idol," in case you watch too much baseball and not enough Stupid TV.

Fan after Philly fan expressed feelings like Joshua Robinson, who said, outside Tony Luke's restaurant: "It's gonna be a sweep."

Student Michael Francesco, claimed: "The Yankees have never played a juggernaut like this Phillies team."

And Louie Del Brocco, clad head-to-toe in Phillies gear, said: "The Phillies are supposed to be nervous about Sabathia? The faster he throws, the farther they go. The Phillies are totally going to win the Series. How do I know? I have ESPN. I watch the games."

Or is their insanity not temporary? Are they just plain cuckoo?

What makes this city of 109 neighborhoods - with names like Germantown, Fishtown and Swamp Poodle - unafraid?

Do they have anything besides the damn cheese steaks that we don't have?

"We have four PBS channels," said Linda Forman, who was reading Stephen Colbert's book in Rittenhouse Square. "And we have hoagies. Woo-hoo!"

"We actually say 'excuse me' when we bump into each other in the street," said Robinson, a Nordstrom's manager.

"The Penn Anthropology Museum has a wall of skulls, like, 4,000 to 5,000 of them," said native Joe Kaczmarek. Hmmmm.

W.C. Fields wanted his epitaph to say: I'd Rather Be in Philadelphia. Well, maybe it's better than being dead, but I'm not sure.

They do have the Mummers Parade on New Year's - but what about the other 364 days? They have the Mario Lanza Museum. And of course, there's Independence Hall, where Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin and their compadres signed the Declaration of Independence.

But that was so 233 years ago! What has Philadelphia done for us lately? And by the way we have the Magna Carta at Fraunces Tavern now, but New York has so much going on, people don't even know it's here!

Philadelphia produced Bill Cosby, but he lives in New York.

The Philadelphia Zoo has rare white lions, but we have a snow leopard right in the Central Park Zoo, with polar bears playing with beach balls.

The Philadelphia Art Museum has Picasso's "Three Musicians" and Van Gogh's "Sunflowers," but New York has just about every other great work of art.

There do seem to be some rather nice people down here, like Harold Honickman, a big shot in the soft drink industry.

The 68-year-old multimillionaire was just strolling around Rittenhouse Square - don't execs have limos down here? - when a nosy New Yorker asked him who he liked in the World Series.

He splits his time between New York and Philadelphia, and loves both towns, he said, adding with no hint of arrogance: "We have contracts with both stadiums, so we win either way."

Now, for me this is certainly not an ideological battle between two cities. If so, I wouldn't be involved. What this Molloy fails to realize (ONE of the things she fails to realize) is that Phillies fans are comprised of folks from the tri-sate area: Philly itself and the whole eastern part of Pennsylvania, central and south Jersey, and most importantly, Delaware above the canal. So, the countless comparisons - Statue of Liberty vs. Liberty Bell (the Statue stands proudly in New Jersey), 26 subway systems vs. two (of their 26 half can't arrive on time if they come at all), a billionaire mayor vs. one who lives on a civil servants salary, pizza/bagels vs. cheese steaks (no question, gimme Pat's! Prov wit!), and most tellingly population (of the cities themselves) are completely irrelevant trash talk. New York sucks and Philadelphia sucks a little bit less. They are both trash towns and really not to be lived in unless you gotta. I love the Phillies themselves, the game of baseball, and clean hard wins. The only nerve she hit was by dissing my boy the Phanatic, the greatest mascot in all of sport. Any ill words about the Phanatic are either uninformed, ignorant, or jealousy.

But the real point is that none of that wins ballgames. If it did, the Yankees would have been in the Series more recently and possibly always, and while I enjoy considering the personality of different MLB cities based on their culture, people, and team colors, it is not those things that determine who's a better baseball team. They call that a straw man: when you have no way to argue for why your team is actually better, you build a straw man (in this case what each city possesses) and then tear that down. Point made, right? Wrong!

I have previously posted the intangibles that give our Phillies the edge, and now here is what I think is gonna happen, tangibly. Cliff Lee will continue to be the smartest pitcher in the game and baffle Yankees bats. C.C. will have trouble getting the fastball by our line up and get roughed up with some jacks, specifically to right field, specifically by Ryan Howard. Jimmy Rollins will have a career series, possibly garnering the MVP. Jeter will be good, but A-Rod will go back to choke mode and come up flat for most of the series, like most big bats do against the Phils (see regular season Albert Pujols and Manny in the NLCS). Pedro will be sublime and set the stage for Cole Hamels to have a good game when we get back to Philly (at either 2-0 or 1-1), and Burnett is a joke that we will beat up on again (again, see regular season). Brad Lidge will not blow a save. The DH rule will be in our favor with Ibanez hitting while Ben Francisco plays left, or Matt "Moonshot" Stairs will get a chance to rip some out of the little yard in the Bronx. And Mega-Clutch Chooch! One of our wins will come against Mariano Rivera, in a statement walk-off to not just beat, but actually hurt our enemies. This will be a statement Series in general, and when we get back to it next year (at least one more), our opponent will not be the Yankees. Phillies in Phive.

What those NY papers are trying to do is over value the Yankee fan while devaluing the Phillies fan. Though I love the 1980 and 1993 Phillies teams, I do not care about what they did. All I need is right now, this team, these guys, me at 29 years old. Twenty-six Yankee Championships do not matter and neither do 10,000 Phillies losses. What matters is these seven games and how much you're gonna believe in your team. It's in our hands to be the better fans, let's do it, let's believe.

I-Fuckin'-Conic

2009-10-28T15:50:00.003-04:00

More from Bobby's increasingly iconic run of Phillies. This edition: Uncle Charlie and my second favorite cheerleader, the Sweet One, Shane Victorino!

Wastoids Wednesdays (As Seen In Spark)

2009-10-28T15:42:00.006-04:00

The Wastoids, surrounded by women, as usual.

Yes, I know tonight is Game 1. Yer tellin' me? The Wilmington Wastoids, and our leader Hot Toddy, support to our last breath the Fightin' Fuckin' Phils, and to a lesser extant, the Nation of Israel. Never the less, a booking is a booking and we will be shakin' it down on the stage at Homegrown Cafe on Main Street in Newark tonight. Two sets, one at ten pm and one at midnight, with Anne Frankenstein (with possibly a different name?) doin' it in between. We will have the Transistor Sister on stage with us for constant updates, and you can join us between sets at Margherita's Pizza to take in the game on full-color television. Go Phils! Go Wastoids!

Chooch and the Rally 'Stache

2009-10-22T15:07:00.007-04:00

Here is why we win: moral high ground, hard work on and off the field, the best fans in sport, super-human batsmanship, revenge (for 2007, 1977-78, 1993, and 1950), good, clean baseball - guaranteed to stick, we want the Yankees, home grown talent, brilliant General Management, West Virginian guts, swagger, "high hopes", WFC, non-stop believement (Patent Pending), a catcher who seamlessly blends the intellect of Niels Bohr with the work ethic of any given Panamaniac, and the rally 'stache. Soak it in Delaware Valley, never take it for granted, cry real tears, yell real loud, and STAY CLASSY.

For more Phillies portraits, check out Bobby Campbell!

This 'stache is dedicated to all Phillies everywhere, with special shout out to Huffer! "Phillies never say Philles are dead!" - the Main Man

Sorry Alyssa! (Not Really)

2009-10-22T15:02:00.003-04:00

I have long said that Alyssa Milano serves the same purpose for the Los Angeles Dodgers that your man Dan does for the Philadelphia Phillies, and now it is written who does it better. Sorry Alyssa, you are sexy, smart, and rich, but I am a dirty Phillie, see ya on the other side, sweet-cakes! Phillies in Phive! WFC!

The Adelies - "Show Your Teeth" EP Review

2009-10-22T14:32:00.002-04:00

Losing people you care about is really hard, and losing bands you care about is nothing to sneeze at either. In Please Kill Me, top flight rock and roll fan Bebe Buell was reduced to tears upon finding out that "Wave" was gonna be her friend Patti Smith's last record. She recalls, "I was like, "I don't want this to be her last record." I was more adolescent about my feelings about rock and roll. To me it was an incredible loss; I considered it a death in the family. Maybe they thought it was just the last record - "Big deal, I'm gonna go be a housewife now" - but I took it very seriously." It's strange how people can make music that means so much to so many people and then emotionally detach from it to a point where they don't care about it or even like it. For one major instance, take Plow United, the best band to ever come out of these parts. Not long ago, I had the idea to do a Please Kill Me style oral history of the Wilmington/West Chester scene, which during the mid nineties was cohesive and strong, full of great bands and personalities. The first person I ran it by was Joel Tannenbaum, bassist from Plow, as they were the font from which we all sprang. He sensitively shot it down, saying that it wasn't a big enough audience to warrant a book. Now, Joel is a professional writer and certainly has to worry about things like an audience, but I am an artist who works in the medium of words, and audience is the last thing on my mind when constructing art. In another instance, Tit Patrol played a horrendous gig at Bam Margera's the Note in West Chester not long ago and the sound (which was not the problem) was run by Tom Martin, most famously of Third Year Freshmen and also the force behind Throttle Jockey, the New Dance Show, and a long, long time ago, Fondle (with Joel from Plow), and he may have written "So What?" by Pink. We discussed old times briefly and he disclosed that he has given away all his old punk stuff, Plow paraphernalia, etc... I on the other hand have mine organized and vaulted and displayed and archived, never to part. It reminds me of why I do what I do. It meant something to me and still does. People could pejoratively say that I am clinging to the past, but fuck them, I've made no less then six full length punk rock albums since the millennium turned, I am a Now Man. It's simply that I recognize the worth and will not dismiss it. It's funny, to this day I can't tell you exactly why Plow broke up. I mean, I know that they wanted to go out at their best, and they did, but who dunnit and why?

I talked to Arik Victor, proprietor of Creep Records, where at Plow's records where recorded and on which they were mostly released, in around 1998, when Plow was broken up and their swan song Narcolepsy was recorded and done except for front man Brian McGee's vocals. They were pressuring Brian into doing them and doing them well, up to the standards we had all come to expect from McGee's one of a kind raspy voice. I asked him why it was so hard to get him to do them (I was totally drooling for that damn record), and Arik conjectured that Brian knew once the vocals were done, so was Plow, and Brian was having a hard time dealing with that. He even joined Throttle Jockey and then Super Hi-Five, indicating to me that he was not done with the scene. Sean Rule, the greatest drummer of all time, had a whole big life outside the scene and Plow. He was a teacher at our high school and engaged to be married, but still, upon Plow's disbandment, Sean approached Huffer and myself (whose band Ninja Attak had run its course) to start a new outfit with him, and Power of IV played with great success for four more years. So, without pointing any fingers, it would seem that Joel was in the driver's seat of Plow's end game. Bands breaking up is inevitable, and now Plow will always be great, so perhaps they had all our best interests in mind, but it hurt, damn bad. I'm adolescent in my feelings about music as well.

This summer we lost three bands that admittedly were never in the Plow escalon (Who is? Tit Patrol, that's who! Ha ha!) but nonetheless it leaves me with a feeling of discontentment. First to go was the Impatients. I was there at the inception, five girls picking up instruments and learning how to play them as they became a band. They played a handful of gigs and recorded some demos, which I have still never heard. They had some songs that were sorta Ramones-y or Cramps-like, and some songs that were more Melvins-ish, but it all had a pretty unique sound, lots and lots of low end, soft tone on the guitars, all played slow and deliberate, with a strong and confident vocal that went from low and disinterested to a screeching yelp. Their break up was maybe a little nasty, and I won't go too into details I can't confirm, but I can say with confidence that there were true creative differences, no bullshit. I know Tanya on lead vocals wanted a darker less tonally based sound and Ally and Jill, the rhythm section, wanted to continue to pursue a brighter, more pop-oriented sound. I don't know what guitarists Shawna and Marta wanted. So, Tanya, Shawna, along with Chris Crust, Ivan Frankenstein, and Ian Thrash have pursued their sound in a new outfit called Doll Fangs that I haven't heard yet, and Ally and Jill started a new rock and roll act with Devo from Sexon Horses and Sam from Cave Bats (I think) called the Chandeliers, and I'm waiting for them to lay some tunes on me as well. The Impatients was fun while it lasted, but a real shame that they never got past the neo-natal stage of being a band. I was always especially impressed with the dedication that Ally has to the bass and can't wait to see her explode!

Next was my fave, high school skacore by S.H.O.T., aptly anagrammed Super Humans Over Taking, who I've raved about many a time here at Danthology. These guys had the look and the sound and a great fuckin' demo recorded at the Big Blue House. I will always remember all their great sets this summer (their "Beat It" cover was the best) and miss them playing. They played a great mix of thrashy hardcore featuring lots of high end, gain, and virtuoso guitar solos and scratchy ska punk with gruff vocals and a tight, fast, rudimentary, kick-ass rhythm section. Like JFA and OPIV had a baby. They have a very legitimate reason for breaking up/going on hiatus, as they started college this fall, at different colleges no less. This one gets me because I would have loved to see these dudes fulfill their massive potential, they have alot of talent and authenticity. Hopefully they'll keep up music and we'll get them back in some form, maybe even intact!

Recently I was told that Ba-Durr! was on hiatus. You know Ba-Durr!, they play as frequently as Tit Patrol. Now, I'll say it right here that they are not allowed to go on hiatus. I can't go on hiatus. Tom von Count can't go on hiatus. It is a logical impossibility. Can't stop, won't stop! I'm sure it's Connor and Alex, who are lazy. Chris Ba-Durr! also plays drums in Powerstance and now in Tragic Johnson!! He is not lazy.

Also in Connor Ba-Durr! news, I have in my hands the rough mix of his other band, the Adelies', first EP, entitled "Show Your Teeth." I'd call it "Show Yer Teeth", but that's just me. They recorded it with the ex-Big Blue House boys, relocated out of Richardson Park to Newark. I preface this review with all that other jive because the Adelies are in some state of flux. They told me they were breaking up, something about Dragonball Z, I believe. But really, I think it is that old chestnut of going to college. BUT - Tit Patrol is playing with them at the Spot on October 24, so how broke up can they be? Anyway, the Adelies (pronounced Uh-del-eez) play third wave style ska punk, big and chunky, smooth and spunky, and most importantly catchy.

This record starts out very well, just kick drum and the vocals come in with possibly their best hook - "My best friend is a bottle not a knife. I'll never fuckin' cut myself because I love my life. And if it gets so bad that I don't wanna live no more, I'll drink a lot of liquor, cause liquor is the cure." On the surface this a very well delivered call to hedonism, completely lacking that cheesy voice most bands this poppy use, it is gruffer and actually in the vein of Leatherface, but the verse, which is that standard quick change A-E-D progression that the ska boys love so much, reveals that the point isn't entirely the bottle, but "not a knife", it's an alternative to violence against self and other, maybe even anti-war. This a pretty good plan, but I've found through personal experience that weed would be a better drug for the occasion, an actual cure. After the initial hook they engage in some Misfits-style "whoas" in a pre-verse musical interlude. The verse is the first drop to clean ska upstrokes, back to the hook with full band and loud distorted guitars on chorus, back to the same verse repeated, chorus again, and then it gets interesting. The tempo changes into a skiffle beat and the guitars go clean and played straight up, and best of all the saxophone gets very pronounced. This execution and the simple fact that the break is in there at all set the Adelies apart. This is a great songwriting maneuver, the chords in that great "Runaround Sue" progression, and the sax feigning "Blue Moon". Then it drops back to the kick drum/vocal intro hook and repeats with everything huge, up and down chunk palm muting, and gang vocals, ending with the Misfits "whoas" and slow it down on the last one for a big ending. Great tune, well executed, giving the ska punk fan the standard stuff they want and upping the ante song-wise to round it out and make it truly unique.

The next song starts with a clean guitar riff, reminiscent of the Smugglers, actually, which is rather high praise for a riff. Then the rhythm guitars in 1-4-5 and whole band kick in and the rough mix guitars sound awesome, unrestrained. I'll miss them when they are tightened up in mixing. The only way to increase the intensity would be to jump from the half notes played on the ride cymbal to quarter notes, like my man Marky Ramone. I think that the drums suffer the most from being in a rough mix, though you can pick out some nice high-hat work throughout. The vocals come in next with that Leatherface sound, but much poppier, perhaps a nod to Midwest beard-core. It also has that Sid con Carnie, Super Hi-Five, struggling to stay in key and it totally works - sound. In fact the slice-of-life, passionately delivered vocals fall into that comparison well. "There's a full moon out tonight. Just like the last one. I swear I'm gonna make it mean something this time. Newark is quiet, it's summer. And we should treat it just the same." The chorus is complex but very poppy. I think that the rough and gruff Adelies sound keeps it from achieving that bittersweet Jimmy Eat World feel, and that is a good thing, and the main riff pulls it all together. The second chorus is followed by a serviceable solo, which in the roughs sounds like a less confident Vindictives solo, complemented well by the nearly-in-key hollering over it. It rolls out very well, the main riff over and over with "It's a warm night out tonight, just like the last one," chanted over it. Very good tune, these boys seem very mindful of tempo, but I personally would like to see them push it a little and get song times down by a few seconds. Upping the intensity of this number would push it over the edge.

Next is back into full ska mode with an intro that reminds me of Wrenfield. Oh you don't know Wrenfield? Great songs, bad attitude, Ninja Attak used to play with them alot in the mid-nineties. Mike Cruz, Ninja Attak's drummer sat in with them and Mike Biankawanka was the songwriter/guitarist/singer. When I wasn't into drinking Natty Ice, Mike C. found a kindred soul with Mike B. who was not as cool as he thought, perhaps the greatest cardinal sin in the Bible of Dan. But, their songs were really, really good, and this intro reminds me thoroughly of them. It is also the first track on the disc with lead vocals from Connor and lots and lots of sax. Contemplative and poppy, catchy and very smooth. The pre/post-chorus is just harmonized "whoas", but the actual chorus is sweetly heartbreaking. It ends with Connor singing, in "na-nas", the main lead guitar hook, and after the music ends, Connor does a couple more sarcastically soulful "na-nas" and you can hear the band laughing. I hope that stays in, nice little ska love song.

Next is my favorite Adelies song live, as it starts with very upbeat drums and a clean tone riff, which again is very Wrenfield-esque. (I can make you a tape, live from Mike Cruz's basement.) I think the thing that does it is the use of major thirds... yeah I know about music, chump. Then the distorted rhythm doubles the riff before dropping to a half-time stall for the first chord of the verse pattern, which is something like G-Em-C, as seen on the new Riverdale’s in "Rocketship X-M" or the Headies "Teenage Heartbeat"... awesome progression. The chorus is my favorite Adelies thing. It's the main riff played repeatedly with the three Adelies vocalists harmonizing downwardly with each other over three bars til it looks like their gonna pass out and relieved by a series of "heys!" It is beautiful and effective, and they do it great, but this is the only point of the record where "tightening the screws" could be a good thing. It is a showpiece chorus and could be a hit, so nailing it isn't bad. But the point of rock and roll or its derivatives is not perfection and the sound comes across very well. After the second time through they drop into a very Jimmy Eat World breakdown for a couple of seconds but retrieve the Adelies sound with the sax and ska-stroked rhythm before one last big chorus and out. Really good song, but I just realized: needs more bass! Where you at Connie?

The last song on this five-songer starts with another great progression. That is a key to the Adelies, they certainly don't rest on standard progressions you've heard before a million times, nor do they just throw chords together for the sake of being unique. I can see them playing with it til it gets right. The progression here is almost old fashioned, and the sax helps with that classic feel. Then it hits with a quick breakdown with "hup-hup" and that tongue roll that all the ladies love. Then straight up third wave style verses with Connor vocals, full on chorus, and back to the breakdown, and repeat. Then a real-deal slowed down ska bridge with sensitive guitar work and great horn, building in tempo back to the chorus and out.

Overall I am really impressed and into this record. It's modern yet reminds me of mid-nineties styles that are still not just very good, but what people should be doing. The only drawbacks to having early edition rough mixes is that after some fine tuning I could probably hear more of what the vocals are doing, pick out more lyrics, and have a better grasp on the rhythm section, but that is neither here nor there, because the Adelies have really good songs. That's the important thing. If they were played on trashcans and cigar box guitars, they'd still be good. Each one has a hook and though reminiscent, is not reliant on any other tune, very original and sentimental yet tough. I for one hope that this is not the last record I get from these boys... and Ba-Durr! should record too. Lazy.

The Adelies minus Justin on Sax... where's my man at?

Bobby is a Phillie!

2009-10-19T12:50:00.003-04:00

Here's the story so far. We at Madison Underground Press support the nation of Israel and the Philadelphia Fightin' Fuckin' Phils! My man Bobby Campbell has a series of pieces on playoff notables that I hope continues to expand!

Black Bubblegum!

2009-10-19T12:42:00.004-04:00

The first half of the Headies recording sessions for their follow up to the million-selling "Sugar and Spice (And Everything's Fucked)" (Available on Interpunk) is complete. We spent the weekend at Second Story Sound in West Chester working with renowned producer Mike Bardzik and layed down seventeen tracks of drums, bass, two rhythm guitars, and saxophone. Still to come is all lead guitars, keyboards, tambourines, and lead and backup vocals featuring Grant and the Rad One from Tit Patrol, and maybe you! Well, probably not you. Fourteen songs will make up "Black Bubblegum" and hopefully be released next spring on twelve inch vinyl with complimentary free digital download card, and the remaining three songs are available for a split with some lucky band. Great work by Toddy, mc Ben, Billy Frolic, Wild Bill Kate, Mike Bardzik, and me! Ladies and gentlemen, commence drooling for this upcoming soul-punk epic!

Flu Shots Are Fun!

2009-10-19T12:36:00.001-04:00

So apparently there are two reasons circulating as to why Americans don't think they should get flu shots. The big one seems to be that the government-issued CDC numbers (36,000 deaths from the flu a year) are either inaccurate or vague. Some say that the numbers are fudged through the roof to create hysteria, the idea that if you don't get a flu shot you will die, in order to move more units. People say that the actual flu deaths are much, much lower. Physicians have commented that what the numbers refer to are flu and flu-related deaths. So the opposers retort, "Oh, flu-related deaths? They're bullshitting us! I don't need the flu shot to prevent flu-related deaths! Give me the flu-related vaccine, but you're not tricking me with this one, tricky government!" That is a common straw man tactic. Whether the numbers are 36,000 or 36, many refer to cases in which the patient dies from pneumonia, and the medical thought is that the flu made them susceptible to pneumonia, so if you didn't get the flu, you wouldn't have got pneumonia, and you wouldn't have died, in some cases. While I believe that the government is highly involved with being pitchmen for the pharmaceutical industry, and that the more they sell the better off financially they will be, that does not devalue the shot itself. It's like saying, "Man, look how good that Big Mac looks in that commercial! They're just making it look like that so I'll buy it!" No shit! It still tastes great, (and is way worse for you than any vaccination could possibly be, weakening your immune system and so on.) So, people think the gov't is trying to bilk more money out of them, (Even after paying taxes! Swoon!) and as a response decide the shot is a scam in its entirety. They also cite that it is often ineffective. Flu shots contain dead viruses of multiple strains, the ones predicted to spread in America, so if the predictions are off, the shot may not protect you against the strains that end up being common. But historically, the experts intuit at a better than 50% clip, which is worth putting your money on. You can get the flu shot and still get the flu, or you may have already had it and it comes on later. So, if you see past all the propaganda (right wing, though not clearly partisan, as nobody wants to get sick and die), the desire to not help the government or big pharm financially is not a good reason to dismiss the shot.

This brings us to my second point. With that trash thinking behind us, you'll probably think, "Well I might as well get it. Even if it doesn't help it can't hurt." And you'd be completely correct, but the second reason people don't want to get flu shots (other than a fear of needles, which is a legitimate phobia, I myself am scared of tropical birds) is they fear what is inside the needle. Well, there may be something kind of bad in there... a mercury-based preservative is used in many (more than 50%) of flu shots, specifically swine flu shots. Not great for adults, as any sushi fan will tell you, and the intake should be very limited, that is to one shot at a time over a period of weeks. Again, the Big Mac (and all our fave fast food burgers) contains carcinogenic preservatives and the production of beef is killing the atmosphere quicker and more effectively than any ol' can of White Rain, but we still enjoy them, responsibly, of course. And don't get me started on cigarettes! For children (I don't think any kids read me), it gets sticky. Folks like Jenny McCarthy (my all time favorite poster) think that the vaccination of children at a very young age (like the ones we all got) can lead to autism and other serious ailments in children. I think the jury is still out on that one, but like adults, parents should spread out the inoculation process if their doctor is over zealous or perhaps under qualified (and still more qualified than me, but I am up on things). But that's the only risk. As far as getting sick due to flu shots, it just doesn't happen. You can have the flu and get the shot and still get sick, cause it only prevents, doesn't treat. You can get the shot and come down with a different strain. You can get the shot and get strep throat or a cold or bronchitis or anything else, but the flu shots you get in America contain DEAD (inactive) virus, and will not get you sick. Caveat emptor: the shot may result in flu-like symptoms, and you may feel crumby for a short time while your system creates antibodies to help fight the actual flu, especially if it is your first-ever shot, so if that is enough to turn you off to possible protection from a possible actual flu, or you see no effectual difference between the full blown flu and flu-like symptoms, that is a personal decision. Worse case scenario, you get me sick.

That being said, of course, you can forgo the shot and still have a happy, healthy flu season, especially in my demographic. Generally healthy twenty/thirty/forty-somethings are at the least risk, and even if they get the flu will probably just get sick, be miserable for a few days, and then recover. People who should get the shot are those most likely to have a hard time recovering and may develop complications. That is little kids, preggos (women carrying babies, duh!), oldsters (senior citizens!) and anyone with immune deficiencies. For the rest of us, we are at liberty to use our best judgement. I myself love sticking needles in my arm. My good buddy (who will remain nameless, just in case) used to roll up around this time with a bag of flu shots and peroxide and cotton balls and latex gloves and hit all us punks up once in the arm. Man that was cool! The only reason I haven't been vaccinated is that I don't have the extra scratch to get it done, but as soon as I do: SPIKE!

Pull the Trigger!

2009-10-15T13:50:00.000-04:00

Do It! Kill that motherfucker!

Wastoids Wednesdays!

2009-10-14T14:22:00.002-04:00

Like you aren't already coming, Wednesday's hottest action is at Homegrown Cafe on Main Street in Newark, Delaware! Hot Toddy and the Wilmington Wastoids take the stage for two sets, one at 10 pm and another at midnight, with Skinny Dick Jones doin' his thing in between. If you have a shred of decency you'll come and boogaloo so we don't have to do it by ourselves! New WASTOIDS T-SHIRTS as prizes for punk rock trivia, featuring gold ink! (Thanks to King Eric from Tragic Johnson!) Exclamation point!

WFC

2009-10-09T13:56:00.000-04:00

The regular season is officially over and your Philadelphia Phillies have achieved the glorious: *threepeat!* National League East Champions 2007-2009 excelsior. It's a special kind of bittersweet. Gone now are the hot summer days of lazy afternoon games, the illusion that "this will go on forever", a masquerade that baseball plays well, too well say its detractors. That early July feeling when baseball stretches as far as the eye can see in every direction, that chanellable naivate from when the Phils still wore baby blue and maroon. That feeling that every team has a chance and so you'd better get well aquainted with the intricacies of every one, and you have all the time in the world to do it. October baseball is an entirely different animal. It's cinematic. The first world series I can properly rememer is the '89 Series between the Oakland A's and San Francisco Giants. I remember alot of games from earlier than that, but all Phillies games, hence no post-season. Anyway, the '89 Series is famous for the earthquake that took place before Game 3 and delayed play for ten days. It also housed such super-stars of the time as Mark McGwire, Jose Canseco, Will Clark, Ricky Henderson, and Kevin Mitchell. The 1993 season was my favorite until 2008. In 1993, the Phillies went to the World Series and lost to the Toronto Blue Jays, in dramatic fashion. I loved that team so much, and beating the Atlanta Braves in the NLCS was genuinely sublime. In Game 6 of the World Series, Phillies closer Mitch "Wild Thing" Williams gave up a Series ending walk-off home run to Joe Carter. I silently got up from the living room couch, walked down to my basement bedroom and went to bed with tears on my cheeks, though I'd relive it many times through the "Whatever It Takes, Dude!" Yearbook Video. The next year the Phils were back to their losing ways, and the infamous baseball strike disillusioned me right out of the game. Unlike Darren Daulton, I retired from baseball. I was in high school by that point, and I pretty much hated sports in general. It was dumb, but organized sports seemed diametrically opposed to the image I had of myself.

I got broken back into the sporting world by the Amazing Allen Iverson and the Philadelphia 76er's of the late nineties and especially the 2001 team that lost to the Los Angeles Lakers in the Finals. A.I. did things that were eye-popping and inspiring, seeming to tread upon invisible oxygen blocks and win games on his lonesome. From there the next, vital step was easy. The modern era of Phillies baseball started in 2001 with the addition of fan favorite and 1980 World Series Champion Larry Bowa as skipper, Jimmy Rollins first full season as the Phillies shortstop, and Pat Burrell's second year as a Phil and his first in left field. Some would-be crucial Phillies like Mike Lieberthal, Bobby Abreu, and even Randy Wolf had been around for a few years, but the great team we have today sprang up around J-Roll and Pat the Bat over the next half decade. After a disappointing 2002, the Phillies got a tune up with the trade of unpopular third baseman Scotty Rolen to the St. Louis Cardinals for sharp second baseman Placido Polanco, and to replace Rolen's "power" the Phils signed home run superstar free agent Jim Thome, previously of the Cleaveland Indians. This uncharacteristic huge signing, along with the promise of a new ballpark next season, and a particularly terrific series of Topps baseball cards got me fully back into the Great American Passtime. I saw Thome hit one out in person that last season at the Vet. It was awesome, when he'd come up they'd play the theme from the Superman movies. It gave you the idea that we might just be able to win for real, and for extended periods of time, and that we had something special that others did not have. Still, with all the improvement, the 2003 Phillies would finish in third place, well behind the long reigning Atlanta Braves and the second place Florida Marlins. Taking off from Philadelphia airport on my way to Clearwater Florida for spring break, I watched the Vet implode as I ascended above the clouds.

The 2004 lineup looked much the same with a much improved David Bell brooding at third base, and center fielder Marlon Byrd suffering a sophomore slump, but the bullpen, the bane of many a Phillies team, got some significant components. Rookie Ryan Madson pitched 52 games, won 9 and had a 2.34 ERA, and renowned hot-head Billy Wagner was a soild closer. Meanwhile, when Polanco went on the DL, we were introduced to another key offensive and defensive force of nature in young Chase Utley, who had played 43 games the year before and 93 in 2004. Utley performed so well upon his call up that Polanco was relegated to a platoon with the rookie. And Ryan Howard hit 2 home runs in 19 games, but had the big corn fed road block of Jim Thome in his way at first base. The Phils finished ten games above five hundred, same as the year before, but managed to place second behind the Braves.

2005 featured Chase Utley as the full-time second baseman as we traded Polanco to the Detroit Tigers for set-up man Ugueth Urbina, who ended up in jail for attempted murder with a machete and fire, but Chase was great. We added veteran Kenny Lofton in center field who hit .335 and briefly saw rule five aquisition from the San Diego Padres, Shane Victorino, in 24 games. The bullpen was strong and Billy Wagner saved 38, but the biggest renovation by far was the addition of Cleaveland Indians hitting coach Charlie Manuel as skipper, replacing Larry Bowa. While I was pretty heated as I saw the Phils improving every year, Uncle Charlie would become the lynchpin of the modern Phillies, and in 2005 we finished in second place once again, fourteen games above 500 now, and my man Ryan Howard won the National League Rookie of the Year in 88 games for a broke-thumbed Thome.

In 2006 the Phillies traded Jim Thome to the Chicago White Sox for the piece that would complete their outfield, hard-nosed dirtball Aaron Rowan. Shane Victorino played 153 games, the majority in right field for Bobby Abreu, and Abraham Nunez was a utility infielder and David Bell's primary platoon mate at third base. Carlos Ruiz caught 27 games as Mike Lieberthal aged poorly, and a young Cole Hamels made a splash with nine wins and 132 innings. Now a pretty good team, the Phillies still struggled to get over the hump, with young players and a shaky pitching staff, they finished in second place behind the now-hated New York Mets and only eight games above five hundred, but Ryan Howard followed up his ROY campaign by winning the NL Most Valuble Player Award.

2007 was the year everything came together. The pitching staff was greatly solidified with the addition of Jamie Moyer and rookie Kyle Kendrick, and Cole Hamels had a break out season, going winning fifteen while losing only five and had a 3.39 ERA. Brett Myers moved to and excelled at the closer role, and was on the mound when the Phillies clinched their first National League East Title since 1993 on the last day of the season, edging out the dispicable New York Mets. Shane Victorino took over full time in right field when we traded long time Phillie Bobby Abreu to the New York Yankees, and Carlos Ruiz became the starting catcher (with Chris Coste and Sal Fasano as the case dictated) after Mike Leiberthal went with Randy Wolf to the Los Angeles Dodgers as a free agent. The only true offensive deficit on the team was Abraham Nunez at third base, who played above average in the field, but was anemic at the plate. Jayson Werth played 94 games as the all purpose back up outfielder and J.A. Happ pitched and lost one game. We finished twelve games above five hundred and for the first time in fourteen years I felt the electric love that is post season baseball, only to have the Phils cough it up in three to a mutant Colorado Rockies team. The second longest-tunred Phillie Jimmy Rollins had an absolutely unblievable season and won the NL Most Valuble Player and Charlie Manuel's work was recognized with the NL Magaer of the Year Award.

Did somebody say 2008!?! Version 1.0 of the greatest Phils team since 1980 or maybe ever is Jimmy "J-Roll" Rollins at shortstop, Shane "the Flyin' Hawaiian" Victorino in center field, Chase Utley at second base, Ryan "Soul Pole" Howard at first base, Pat "the Bat" Burrell in left field, Jayson Werth in right field, new addition Pedro Feliz at third base, and Carlos "Chooch" Ruiz doing the catching. Cole Hamels, Jamie Moyer, Brett Myers, Kyle Kendrick, and trade deadline aquisition Joe Blanton were the rotation as Adam Eaton was one of the all-time flops. GM Pat Gillick, who along with his prodecessor Ed Wade had crafted this fine baseball machine added the finishing touch by trading speedster Michael Bourn to the Houston Astros for closer Brad "Lights Out" Lidge, who did not blow a single save oppurtunity in 2008 in 41 regular season attempts. Along with notables like Greg Dobbs, Eric Bruntlett, Matt Stairs, and Geoff Jenkins off the bench, Charlie Manuel led these heroes of ours to a 92-70 record and their second straight NL East Title, past the Milwaukee Brewers in the Division Series, past the Los Angeles Dodgers in the Championship Series, and past the Tampa Bay Rays in the World Series, with Cole Hamels winning the NLCS and World Series MVP Award.

Harry Kalas definitely said it best, "The Philadelphia Phillies are the 2008 Champions of Baseball!" He said it with alot of class, the best voice in the game, he was the epitome of what a Phillies fan could be. But Chase Utley said it in a way we could all understand. "World Fucking Champs!" We Phillies have two World Championships to the New York Yankees twenty-six. They've been the World Champs twenty-six times, but they've never been World Fucking Champs, and anybody's who's been World Fucking Champs knows there ain't nothin' better.

Version 2.0 is very similar, the only dude missing on the field is my mom's favorite Philly, Pat Burrell, who was not resigned after a long term deal ended in 2008. Ruben Amaro made a splash as GM after Pat Gillick's departure by signing veteran left fielder Raul Ibanez. The move was met with many a raised eyebrow, but Pat the Bat absoultely floundered as Tampa Bay's new designated hitter while Ibanez posted carreer numbers, particularly in the first half of the season while J-Roll battled a mega-slump. Off the field, Harry Kalas passed away in our nations capitol early in the season, giving the Phillies all the more motivation to win it again. Brad Lidge was also not "lights out" anymore, leading the league in blown saves (11) and consecutive losses (8), but the team is so good that they managed to win one more game than the previous year, led by Ryan Howard, Ibanez, and Jayson Werth, who posted amazing numbers in his first year alone in right field, as well as Amaro smoothy pick-ups 2008 AL Cy Young Winner Cliff Lee and a man who needs no introduction, simply known as Pedro. To a true-believer like myself, this was no big surprise, but take it for granted I do not. We won our thrid straight NL East Title and once again face the Colorado Rockies in the first round, payback series! With the (metaphorical) guardian angel of Harry the K looking down on us (or out from us in an internalized memory of a great voice and fan), I do nothing but believe. As our boys practice and concentrate and eye up that tiger, I believe. Not in god or heaven or fairness or sports; I believe in the World Fucking Champs.

Where Do All the Hippies Meet?

2009-10-09T13:30:00.004-04:00

Hey! You live in Philly? Go Phils! And come see the "punk rock power pop with snotty vocals" of the Headies! Tonight at 9pm at the Tritone, 1508 South Street! They got pierogies!

The Headies - Huge in Germany!

2009-09-28T11:46:00.002-04:00

Another review from the old country! Dude, I'm not sure if google translator is all it's cracked up to be, but here is what the Ox-Fanzine thinks about the Headies first EP, "It's a Superman's World." (Available on Interpunk.com and CDBaby.com).

Humph, nevertheless, eight songs, of it two covers, this is rather a better EP, or? If there is the whole, however, for the small price and with cool songs, goes already to order. The HEADIES (so shots in the head are called, by the way, in the "Killerspiel" jargon proved my Google search) from Delaware play classical punk rock in DESCENDENTS-and QUEERS kind and can be only convincing so of course. The cover are "Indian giver" of the RAMONES and " High on drugs " from the solo record of Metal Mike (ANGRY SAMOANS). This fits of course like the fist on the eye, and who is a fan of the tape called in the course of the text, can access without hesitation, all the others can sound the complete album before on cdbaby.com/cd/headies. There is a point Deduction for the length or shortness of the album (7)

Cool! A seven out of something! Usually we get one word in German or French that translates to "horrible!"