Self Growth

The Lion, The Hedgehog and the Case of Missing Self Confidence

2009-07-07T14:39:00.001-07:00

Self confidence at times can be a fragile quality. Many other people can destroy our self confidence particularly if our actions are driven by the desire to please them at the expense of what we believe to be true.

Here is the tale of the lion and the hedgehogs.

Once upon a time there was a lion living in the jungle with all his lion friends. One day he grew adventurous and decided to go and see the wider world. He stumbled on the home of the hedgehogs. This was a nice place; a place he liked very much. He asked the head hedgehog if he could stay with them.

"Sorry, you can't stay here you are too different. Cut off your tail and become like us" said head hedgehog.

With some deep reservations the lion took the advice and cut off his tail. On his return to head hedgehog he was told

"No, still too different. Shave off your hair and come back to me."

Although he thought this rather drastic, he was eager to please so he shaved off his hair.

"Your claws are too long" retorted the head hedgehog. "You'll have too chop them off".

Desperate to gain the acceptance of the hedgehogs he clipped his claws back to nothing and returned to the head hedgehog once more.

"No still not right. Look no matter what you change about yourself, you are still different. It must be your personality. It's in your nature to be a lion. You will never be a hedgehog so please go away and leave us alone".

The lion set off to find his old lion friends in the jungle. But once there he found more rejection.

"You've lost your identity" cried out one of the others. "You're no longer a lion".

No longer a lion and didn't get to make it to hedgehog status either, whom or what had he become?

The lion had sold his identity in exchange for acceptance by the hedgehogs. He had sold his true self for the approval of others. People can be like this lion too. Perhaps we change the way we dress or do things that other people want despite this going against our better judgement, purely to gain acceptance. This results in either acceptance but no self confidence or rejection and a loss of identity.

Sometimes it's hard to appreciate but other people do respect others with differing opinions, ideas and interests. By discarding our identity for the acceptance of others we lose our true selves. Yes we can change ourselves for the better but we should do it for ourselves and not for other people.

Although I believe that believing in God is becoming fashionable again it was not that long ago that having a faith deemed us as not conforming. It was not "cool" to declare our belief in God. Yet having our faith, no matter how we choose to follow that faith, forms part of our personality. We must never deny God just to appear to be "cool" in the eyes of others.

Unto thine own self be true.

How fantastic is that?

Terry Norrington

Faith and Religion

2009-07-05T14:20:00.001-07:00

What is the meaning of faith?

Is faith about religion?

Do we have to follow a religion to have faith?

I like to consider myself a Christian. I believe in God and I go to church most Sundays. I pray to and have my conversations with God.

But how much do I really understand about the Christian faith?

My confession now is that I don't read the bible as much as I should. I haven't study the theology of the Christian faith to any great depth. I very often forget to say grace before taking in food particularly when eating on the go or grabbing a breakfast at McDonalds. I've been known to mutter the odd expletive and throw a spanner or two across the room when things don't go according to plan or I'm running short of time.

But does this make me a bad person? (It probably does if that spanner hits somebody on the head.)

Does this make me a bad example of Christianity?

Does this mean I don't have faith in God?

Despite my faults and failings I believe that I am a good Christian. My intention always is "to treat others as I would like to be treated". I try to do good deeds for others in the course of a day. I don't steal, kill or covet my next door neighbours' gorgeous wife. I provide for my family in an honest manner and don't tell lies (although sometimes the full story isn't always revealed). Above all I have a total belief in God.

Knowing that God is walking by my side every step of my journey through life is the most important part of being a Christian in my view. This is faith. The fact that I don't have a deep knowledge of all his works doesn't stop me from believing in him. It doesn't stop me from trying to live the Christian way of life. How I live my life and how I treat others is the mark of the person I set out to be.

Granted I can open my mind to his works and Jesus' teachings every single day and no doubt some of my faults and intolerances will be erased in time because of them. But it is not necessary to be fully educated to be a Christian.

It could also be said that to have faith you don't need to be a Christian. Muslims, Hindus and many of the other great religions believe in one God too. And they too try to live good clean and peaceful lives, do good by others and follow in the path of God. Whether Christian, Muslim, Hindu or a follower of some mystic religion we still all have faith.

By having faith we have hope for the future, a belief that a good life will prevail, and if we have a positive belief then positive things will happen. Although I love the bits of the bible that I do read and this enthuses me to want to read more, it isn't necessary to know all the teachings from testaments new and old to have faith. Faith comes from the soul, the subconscious mind. The knowledge that God is there always, any time we want to reach out and find him, is the true meaning of faith.

How fantastic is that?

Terry Norrington

What is the Meaning of Faith? Walk on with Hope in Your Heart.

2009-06-30T15:05:00.001-07:00

What is the meaning of faith?

How can we keep faith when nothing seems to be going right?

Where can we find motivation and optimism when we are feeling defeated?

Football is a great passion in my life and I have been known to sing on the terraces in the past (if you can call it singing). One of the great football anthems is "You'll Never Walk Alone". Adopted by Liverpool fans and hijacked by many others it really stirs the emotions.

The original version has such classic and inspirational words. "When you walk through a storm hold your head up high and don't be afraid of the dark."

Throughout life we have difficult and troublesome times. There can be many roads to take and we don't know which one to take. We stumble along the wrong road until we realise our mistake and then we wander back to the junction to try again. Don't lose hope, don't lose faith. God has shown us that we were taking the wrong road and has brought us back to the beginning to try again. Eventually the route becomes obvious and our path is no longer shrouded in darkness and we can see the "Golden Sky" and hear the "Sweet Silver Song of the Lark".

"Walk on with hope in your heart and you'll never walk alone". Without hope we can so easily give in. It will feel like we are alone with no help or guidance to get us out of our predicaments. But with unflinching hope and indestructible faith in God there is no need to walk alone. Gods' intention for every single one of us is to enjoy the abundances that he has placed in this world, and by allowing him to walk alongside us he will guide us to the kind of lives we want to lead.

Hope and faith in turn provides the optimism, motivation and drive to succeed. If our problems seem hopeless we become depressed by our situation and we can only focus on the problems. With faith and self confidence comes optimism and it then becomes so much easier to concentrate on the solutions. It seems almost miraculous how problems are no longer viewed as problems but are seen as challenges, challenges that are relished with solutions more easily found.

In order to move forward in life we have to step outside our comfort zone; "don't be afraid of the dark". It takes courage to take this step but it is surprising how stepping outside the comfort zone becomes "the comfort zone". We are no longer afraid of the dark. Having taken the risk and survived with God holding our hand, we know that with his guidance we can do the same again.

When our troubles get on top of us we need to take time out to find that quiet place within us. By being still and asking God to come into our lives reaffirms our faith in him and that flame of hope is re-ignited within our souls.

Remember the next time we see those hordes of red and white scarves accompanying the melody of "You'll Never Walk Alone", it is not about inspiring Liverpool Football Club onto victory, it's about inspiring us with hope and faith to be successful and live the lives we want.

How fantastic is that?

Terry Noprrington

Faith. When All Else Fails

2009-06-23T14:39:00.001-07:00

When the going gets tough the tough get going, so the saying goes and without doubt resilience and self confidence will get us through many an awkward situation. But how many times have we found ourselves in a seemingly impossible situation?

We have all been in the situation where we have planned meticulously for something, done the homework and given it our best shot. Then something unexpected happens to blow the plans out of the water. There doesn't appear to be a solution and we don't have the wherewithal to overcome the issue.

Vulnerability

The trouble is that despite all our strengths, we are all vulnerable. The well built athlete who in training turns his ankle over and is then in plaster for a month.

The brainy student who has worked and studied hard for an exam, yet come the day he is stricken down with stomach problems.

The vastly experienced investor who has wisely plotted his investments in the financial markets only to wake up one morning to hear the news that his country is at war and the value of his stocks have plummeted by fifty percent.

It doesn't matter how powerful or intelligent we are, how strong our personality is, we all remain at the mercy of the unexpected, the things that we cannot control. Despite the best preparations, external influences can shake our self confidence and the worries that incur remind us of our vulnerabilities no matter how powerful we are. Through personal development we can learn to strengthen our personalities, control stress and manage a crisis yet the unexpected can still come up and slap us in the face.

So how do we overcome the great unexpected?

When all our powers fail us we need a higher power to lean on.

GOD.

Having God on board will help overcome the impenetrable obstacles. Dealing with the problems we can solve and asking for Gods' help with those we can't creates a winning team. We can be all powerful, all knowledgeable and extremely resourceful but some problems just cannot be resolved without Gods' assistance.

Why should we believe in God?

In times of trouble, those with no faith become anxious, worried and stressed which could lead to depression, and in the worst instance, suicide. Without God there is no back up plan and the suffering will continue until a resolution comes forth.

People ask, "Why does God let bad things happen?"

Without some bad we could never appreciate the good. Even if only good things happen, the bottom end of good would become the bad.

Faith needn't be blind. After all science is proving more and more the existence of God. As science answers one question more questions seem to follow. Ultimately we can only find the answer in a higher plain, God.

By having true, unshakeable faith, God will help us through our helplessness. In turn he will provide us with self confidence, optimism, motivation to drive on forward and above all, peace.

How fantastic is that?

Terry Norrington

Faith. If at First You Don't Succeed, Try, Try, Try, Again

2009-06-16T15:46:00.001-07:00

What is the meaning of faith?

How can we keep faith when we try to do things and it never seems to work?

Surely we should just accept our fate and give up?

Successful people seem to have luck on their side. Their self confidence and self belief seem to give them all the success they desire. But the truth is life probably hasn't always been easy for them. What we see now is the product of many years of hard work and focus on creating the success they now enjoy. That self confidence and optimism has come from the learning, learning through mistakes along their personal journey.

The fact is it is really only a numbers game. Anybody can achieve their dreams if they have the burning ambition, self confidence and are prepared to work hard enough.

How hard is hard enough?

We can use the example of skating. It can possibly take a hundred and fifty falls before becoming any good at skating. At a hundred and ten falls we decide to give it up believing that we don't possess the skills required. Yet if we knew that we only had to suffer another forty falls we wouldn't have packed it in.

The world is full of examples of successful people who persevered despite what seemed to be constant failure. Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb tried one thousand times before he made the bulb that worked. He never considered the other nine hundred and ninety nine efforts to be failures, just incorrect ways to build a light bulb.

Henry Ford, founder of the Ford Motor Company lost his fortune six times and yet recreated his wealth each time.

Walt Disney had his idea of Mickey Mouse rejected five times before Mickey became the most famous mouse in the world.

John Creasey, famous novelist had seven hundred and fifty three rejections before his books started hitting the best sellers list.

It's easy perhaps to believe that these aren't the typical person. But look at the examples in our own lives. As a child we wouldn't have learned to walk if we gave up after falling down a couple of times. Likewise, as we grew older we learned to drive. There would have been many mistakes made during our driving lessons yet we practiced persistence in order to get through our driving test.

This little story is one that I find a true motivator.

A man visited a famous success guru and asked him to point him in the direction of success. The guru pointed in the direction and off went the man to seek his fortune. Soon a loud bang was heard and the man returned to the guru somewhat frustrated and a little bruised.

"Please point me in the direction of success," the man pleaded with the guru.

He was shown the same direction as he previously went and although a little concerned he set off back in that same direction.

An even louder bang was heard and the man returned to the guru badly battered and very angry.

"Enough" said the man. "Speak to me now and tell me in which direction I will find success."

The guru again pointed in the same direction and said,

"Over there. Just beyond BANG."

Success is there for us all to achieve. We can see examples in our own lives and we can see it in others too. Persistence, motivation, optimism and self confidence are the main ingredients with persistence perhaps being the greatest of these.

How fantastic is that?

Terry Norrington

Have Faith. Science Proves That God Exists

2009-06-12T14:46:00.001-07:00

What is the meaning of faith?

How can we believe in something that doesn't appear to be tangible?

Does science prove that there is no God?

Well in fact in doesn't. Many eminent scientists are concluding that science doesn't provide all the answers. A lot of these great minds practice a faith of one sort or another as well. As science provides an answer to one question more questions seem to arise.

What is the meaning of faith?

If science cannot provide answers then perhaps the answers can only come from God. How we view god and how we choose to live our lives through God is obviously down to each individual but there is becoming almost indisputable evidence that God does exist.

I was reading a fantastic article today which outlines just a few unanswered questions by science. It was great in the fact it managed to keep the science understandable to a layman like me. I shall try to create the simplicity myself.

The Probability of Random Cell Formation

If cells were not deliberately formed with some kind of order or structure then the first living cell would have been randomly formed. Some clever bod has worked out the probability of this being 1 in 10^840. Considering 1 in 10^50 is considered zero in the probability stakes I would suggest you can put your calculators away at this point.

Cells and Proteins

Living cells are made up with thousands of complex proteins. A protein molecule consists of 288 amino acids. With there being 12 different types of amino acids it is possible to arrange these in 10,300 different ways. Only one way is right. That is a jigsaw puzzle of the highest extreme with a probability factor of 1 in 10^300 just to form the one protein molecule. You're probably getting the picture by numbers by now.

Chicken or the Egg

A living cell requires enzymes to exist and enzymes cannot be present without the presence a living cell. So which came first? No complicated maths to support this point.

The Big Bang Theory

For those that are not aware of this theory which is supposed to be backed by much scientific evidence, the planets, galaxies and universe were created from one single point; from an object or atom with infinite density and virtually zero volume. So the questions are, where did that object come from and how was the explosion created?

I dare say that somebody will explain that the splitting of the atom by nuclear fusion or fission caused this colossus explosion but what was the chain of events that lead to this?

Material in Space

Believe it or not but space is not hollow. Scientists explain that the vast gaps in the universe are filled with a transparent material. Yet the universe is expanding at an incomprehensible rate. How is this transparent material generated to keep filling in the gaps in the universe as it expands?

Coincidence

Back to earth now with a biology lesson. If all life forms were created in the male form this could be considered a coincidence. Likewise, if we were all created in the female form this would be considered coincidence also. Coincidence brings about individual elements but can coincidence create males and females with suited reproductive organs and package it in a fully functional system?

Hopefully the science and mathematics bit hasn't blown your head away. The point is that science doesn't provide all the answers therefore is it logical to conclude that only God can?

Believing in God means that we can have faith; faith that as our creator he wishes us no harm. As a parent, therefore creator of life myself, I would never wish ill on my children therefore thinking as a human being, God wants to look after all his children likewise.

How fantastic is that?

Terry Norrington

It Wos Me Wot Won It

2009-06-09T14:29:00.001-07:00

People who know me well know that from a very early age I have been mad keen on football. As a school boy I ate, drank and slept football. My only desire was to play in goal for England. Although I had some good success at school boy level, today my interest is via the television or in the stands at Priestfield Stadium.

Priestfield Stadium is the home of Gillingham Football Club, the team I have followed for over thirty years when at the age of fourteen I first went to see them play against the might of Crystal Palace. Of course I was ecstatic when at the end of this season they made it to the League Two Play-Off Final at Wembley Stadium against Shrewsbury Town. The Saturday prior to the big game I queued for four hours to get those precious tickets to Wembley for my friend Paul and me.

Whilst queuing I was adamant when talking to those around me that the Final would result in success for the glorious Gills.

On the big day I drove over to Faversham to meet Paul and catch the train from there. The North Kent Coast Line journeys through the Medway Towns so the train was guaranteed to be packed with the blue and white of Gillingham supporters. Paul had also arranged to meet up with two of his friends, Alec and Annabelle, who had also dedicatedly queued up for their prized Wembley tickets.

It was the first time I had met Alec and Annabelle but I took to them both straight away. Like me, Alec had been a virtual life long fan despite having periods where he had lived well away from the area. It was great soaking up the atmosphere on that train as stop after stop saw more and more blue and white taking over the carriages. Two trains pulled in together at Victoria Station and it was simply amazing to see the stream of Gillingham supporters flood onto the platform.

As Alec talked about football and his hopes for the day it struck me that he kept saying "if" we win. In response I would interject with "when" we win.

"Oh I don't like to say that in case I'm wrong" he would say.

"You've got to be positive" I kept replying. "Power of positive thinking."

The fact of the matter was that these weren't just words, I really felt that Gillingham were going to win. I could only picture scenes of jubilation at the end of the match never contemplating the despair of losing. At that point I wasn't sure if my constant optimism was getting to Alec.

This was my visit to the now new Wembley Stadium. The flow of people down Wembley Way was incredible particularly as most of these seemed to be favouring the Gills. Inside, the stadium was awesome and the noise reverberating throughout was awesome too. Despite there being fewer Shrewsbury Town supporters they contributed fantastically to this echoing sound.

The first half saw the Gills dominate in the main and despite them not scoring by half time, I still remained confident that they could do it.

The second half become a more even affair as Shrewsbury Town managed to close down the Gillingham midfield to more affect. The time ticked away and some of Gillinghams' passes became more wayward, yet deep down I still could only imagine victory.

The ninetieth minute, with only stoppage time between now and an extra thirty minutes. A corner to Gillingham on the left. Goal !!! 1 – 0. The Gillingham end exploded into the rapturous jubilation that I had imagined. Chanting and singing for joy the crowd saw the boys through those last few minutes of stoppage time which never stopped as the team celebrated a wonderful victory upon that hallowed turf of Wembley.

After the match Alec declared "I really felt nervous about the outcome, but having spoken to you before the match I knew that we could do it."

As a firm believer in the power of positive thinking, surely it was my overwhelming belief that helped Gillingham win this match. OK, perhaps the players and Simeon Jacksons' last gasp header might also have played a part in it, but if I can display this same belief every match, Gillingham will soon be winning the European Champions League. Won't they?

How fantastic is that?

Terry Norrington

Self Confidence and Motivation Comes One Step at a Time

2009-06-08T14:58:00.001-07:00

Personal development, self confidence and motivation are attributes that we build upon from the time we are born. In our childhood we will not be conscious of this but they develop to a greater or lesser degree dependant on the type of personality we are creating and also our environment.

Charlie was up and on his feet at about seven months, which for many babies was quite early. But, although quite strong in his legs, he would toddle around the edge of the rooms, clutching onto any piece of furniture he could find just to get himself about. From appearing to be quite an early developer, he went the opposite way, fearing to let go in case he fell over.

One day when he was 14 months old, we were at his grandparents' house, sitting outside on their patio. My wife and I were sitting on a concrete bench one side of the patio with nanny and granddad on the other side sitting on a wooden park style bench. Charlie was standing by me holding onto my leg but his nanny was encouraging him to come over. At this point I gently nudged him into the middle of the patio and for the first time he had nothing to hold onto. He looked at both me and his nanny wondering what to do next, looking precariously wobbly at the same time. Then he toddled over to nanny accompanied by a burst of applause from us all.

And that was it for him. Armed with self confidence and self belief he never once looked to hold onto anything for support again. He soon started climbing, falling over and bouncing back up again much to the horror of my wife who still constantly battles with him not to climb on the furniture.

Charlie was developing physically but his personal development was one of self confidence and discovery. He had, in that one instance, learned to let go of what felt secure to him and was now opening up a vast new world for himself. He had discovered that he had the ability to walk, just like the rest of us.

New born birds eventually learn to fly, and the moment they soar away from the security of their branches they're creating freedom, opportunities and a life of independence.

How many of us are holding onto things that make us feel secure?

How many of us are frightened to take the next step because we are frightened as to where it might lead?

In order to progress, in order to create success, we have to step outside our comfort zone. We may not be able to see the path ahead and yes, we will undoubtedly take a few wrong turns on our journey but if we do not take those first few unaccompanied steps, if we don't open our wings and take that first jump in order to learn to fly, the journey to success will never begin.

I remember somebody telling me about the first time as a child he went camping. That first night, tucked up in his sleeping bag, the dark seemed a scary envelope to be in. Every strange sound startled him and he wondered how he would get through the night. But soon his eyes adjusted to the darkness and he took the brave step, armed with his torch, of venturing outside of the canvass of his tent. It didn't take long for him to become intrigued with his surroundings and he soon forgot about being frightened. By the following night he was extremely familiar with all that surrounded him, and relished the darkness and the night time sounds to entertain him.

A belief in ourselves supported by self confidence and a strong desire to succeed will always help us take that step away from that secure place that is, in truth, holding us back. Taking each step at a time is the only way we can complete that journey that leads to our goals and dreams.

Be bold, let go and create that self confidence, motivation and optimism that will lead us to the success we desire.

How fantastic is that?

Terry Norrington

The Meaning of Success. How to be a Great Leader

2009-04-14T14:42:00.001-07:00

Self confidence is required in so many fields of life but another quality that is a must in business is leadership. If you run your own business or head a department, even manage a large organisation, the people beneath you in the chain of command will look to you for leadership, inspiration and self confidence.

So what must we have to be a great, inspiring leader?

1. An extraordinary vision is definitely required. A leader has big dreams and motivates his team with those dreams. His communication skills convey emotion, continuously accentuating the positives to drive forward the business or project. Leaders are forward thinkers, seeing what doesn't exist at present and then visualising it as existing with the sole aim of making it a reality. Their dreams will always be larger than those of the rest of the team; they have to be to create that magical inspiration and self confidence of the team.

2. A leader will have an attitude far more positive than those that he leads. They continuously have powerful thoughts and his manner is always upbeat with self confidence. It is so necessary to always show positivism and self confidence. Both positive and negative thoughts can be contagious yet negativity can spread so much more easily than positive ness. It is therefore so essential to remain positive, never allowing yourself to make criticism about the company, management or product. An organisation can so easily be weakened or destroyed by one critical remark (remember the Gerald Ratner effect).

3. How approachable are you for your team if you are always right, never ready to admit mistakes. Nobody is ever likely to make suggestions if they think that they are not going to make a difference. And when things go wrong, where should the buck stop? With the leader of course; the leader is responsible for the success of the organisation or project. A great leader will see the harm that can be caused by shifting blame onto others and will instead place him/herself in the firing line for criticism. Learning from your mistakes builds self confidence plus admitting them earns the respect of those around you

4. A leader has to be a decision maker. Lacking decisiveness and self confidence can be so frustrating for a team. They need to depend on those that can make a decision so they in turn can have a direction to follow. A manager is always concerned about doing things correctly whilst a leader is more concerned about doing the correct thing. It is impossible to always make the right choices but the important thing is that you are making them and making them for the right reasons. As long as lessons are learned, experience combined with self confidence will determine that more and more correct decisions are made in the future.

5. Those that lead will always put those that they lead first. By putting others before your own interest, will gain the trust and confidence of the team. By looking out for their best interests, your crew will work harder knowing that you want them to succeed. This in turn will build your self confidence as a great leader.

6. The best way to be a leader is to show how it can be done. To prove that you have the skills necessary will really gain the respect of your team. Yes, if the team is particularly large you will most likely not have the skills required in every department, but you should certainly have enough wherewithal to demonstrate to the people immediately beneath you. There has been recently a programme on British television where the owners or Managing Directors of organisations go back to the shop floor to tackle and see for themselves the tasks undertaken by the productive staff. This exercise usually demonstrates their lack of abilities in this field, but being involved and showing a willingness to understand the needs of their workers nearly always gains them respect. It also helps build their self confidence in order to run the business more effectively.

7. By doing the right thing and having pride in your team, confidence in you as a leader will be built in your team at every level. Upon you, all the hopes and desires of your team will be on your shoulders. As a leader you must show a hundred percent commitment to honesty and truthfulness. By being honest and true you know that everything you do and every decision you make is entirely for the right reasons and does wonders for your self confidence in the process. A leader must seriously consider making this his/hers number one priority.

8. There is no place for inferior workmanship or performance from a leader. Your attitude to appearance and courtesy plus a total dedication to excellence will mark you down for success or failure. Your team will only look up to you if this attitude is at a level above theirs. If you can only mark yourself as an 8 in this area, only the people whose attitude is 7 or below will look up to you as a leader. By striving for a perfect 10 not only gives you the respect of all your team members it creates the desire to do everything to the best of your ability and enhances your self confidence in the process.

9. Self confidence is a part of personal growth. But so is the need to understand your business and constantly keep on top of new developments within your industry. The University of Life teaches us something new every day and if we are not prepared to learn the lessons, how can you expect your team to. The business, like your knowledge, will fail to grow. It is so necessary to grow personally as nobody likes to be around a leader who is just prepared to stand still. That would be a sure fire way of loosing some valuable members of your crew. Be positive and be prepared to learn and you along with your self confidence will grow enormously.

Whilst it is said that many great leaders are born, many more can develop the self confidence and skills for leadership. If you have the strong desire to succeed and you need a highly motivated body of men and women behind you, you can and must create those leadership qualities. Self confidence is an extremely important attribute required for success, but also is leadership, the power and ability to lead and inspire others to greatness.

How fantastic is that?

Terry Norrington

http://www.getselfconfident.com

http://www.alleluiasuccessishere.com

The Meaning of Success. Stand Tall with Self Confidence

2009-04-13T15:09:00.001-07:00

Communication applies to us all. To provide inspiration and motivation to others we must be able to communicate and communicate with self confidence. Most of us will consider the most important part of our communication to be speech. The ability to express our words certainly will be an inspiration and motivation to others particularly if delivered in an enthusiastic and engaging way.

Yet the truth is that only 45% of effective communication is verbal. Although others hear your words, they also receive signals generated by our body language. It is body language that provides the other 55% of effective communication. Thus when we are trying to convey a message to somebody else, we must be conscious that our body is telling the same story as our voice.

Most people, except perhaps the really insecure, find self confidence to be an attractive quality and the body will demonstrate a great deal about whether someone possess that fantastic quality called self confidence.

So what are the posturing signals that give off self confidence vibrations?

Standing with hands behind our backs demonstrates a naturally self confident person or at least somebody who is on top of a situation.
Clasping hands in front of our stomachs is a stance that you will normally see being taken by world leaders during press conferences and speeches.
Finger tips of both hands touching each other
Standing upright with both feet firmly placed upon the ground.
Walking with long strides shows somebody with purpose, someone who is ready to take on new challenges.
Being someone who refuses to panic when mistakes happen.

Sitting with one leg crossed over the other and hands clasped behind our heads tends to show an air of superiority and over confidence. We do use this posture sometimes when we have completed a difficult task of finished a hard exam but care has to be taken as others may consider this to be impolite.

That great quality of self confidence can be seen by all and attracts many people to those that possess it. Inspiration and motivation radiate from these people providing optimism that everybody can attain this quality too.

How fantastic is that?

Terry Norrington

http://www.getselfconfident.com

http://www.alleluiasuccessishere.com

Meaning of Success

2009-04-10T15:59:00.001-07:00

There seems to be some people who are blessed. They are vibrant and happy; the glowing companion linked to their arm and abundance seems to flow into their lives. So why does life always appear good for them yet for others misery seems to follow with every step they take?

I was with two colleagues today; Sid and Steve. Sid is happy go lucky, a colourful character who has experienced a lot of life's ups and downs. He is a great example of the phrase "it's not what you know, it's who you know". He lives off of his wits and always seems to find that extra buck or two. Despite being obviously very street wise, he does attend church and appreciates a spiritual side within himself.

Steve is a worker. He does work hard yet always seems to be just keeping his head above the financial waters. Although he doesn't constantly moan about his problems there are many hints and signs that he is tremendously concerned about his money situation.

We had two conversations of note during the course of the day; the first was when Steve stated that "I can't see the point in religion. It only causes all the troubles in the world. It seems that people who don't believe, like atheists, are the ones that are peaceful".

The first thing that I pointed out was that the troubles are caused in the name of religion. It isn't the religions themselves that cause the issues. Fundamentalists; people with such a deep beliefs in their teachings that they cannot accept other faiths, races and points of views seem to be at the heart of the troubles. The mainstream religions of this world have one common theme. They all believe in one creator. We may have differing guidelines on how to worship our creator and how to practice our religions but that one common link should be what binds us together and allow us to live in harmony with each other.

Secondly, I focussed on the Islamic faith. I don't profess to know much about the religion but I hear many times that this is a very peaceful religion that denounces any form of violence. Any atrocity caused in the name of Islam is really so far removed from their teachings. Unfortunately within any race or creed; even amongst the atheists, there are good people and there are bad. It is a sign of the times that the world's media only focuses on the bad.

It is an indication of Steve's thought patterns that he had chosen to start a conversation on a real negative. This was even more noticeable with the statement he made later on in the day.

"I'll be glad when this year is over".

Considering that, at the time of writing we are only into the third week of January, this took Sid and me a little by surprise.

"Why's that then?" I asked

He went on to point out that we were doing a horrible job (his words were a bit more flavoursome than that), and that the recession was really getting him down.

Admittedly the job wasn't likely to be classified as our favourite, but I felt the need to express the notion that sometimes we need to experience the rough to truly enjoy the smooth.

With regards to the credit crunch I asked him

"What can you do about it?"

"Well nothing" he replied.

"Exactly" I countered. "So why keep thinking about it. Concentrate on what you can do to work around it".

I then highlighted that the world is a beautiful place. Continuously seeing it as a dark, horribly place; one full of misery will lead to his world being one of misery. Conversely, choosing to see it for what it really is, a wonderful place full of abundance will mean a life that god wants us to experience, full of the abundances that he has put here for us to enjoy.

Undoubtedly there will be harder times than others. If we decide to see the world in its full glory, those harder times will be so much easier to handle, obstacles so much easier to overcome.

Sid pointed out that if we visualise life like a steeplechase race, we have hurdles to straddle. If we view the world with tremendous optimism and confidence we will jump the hurdles. If we see our planet as a world full of darkness we are going to clip those hurdles and fall over. Worst still, we will probably run straight into them.

Sid obviously had a better grasp on how to view his world and consequently experiences a lot more of the good that is out there.

We can all decide to see the world in a positive light; full of hope and optimism. It is our choice and we don't have to let other people's negativity cloud our vision. It doesn't come easy, but catching ourselves thinking negative thoughts is a start. Substituting those thoughts with ones of vibrancy, abundance, happiness and tranquillity and then truly believing that we deserve these riches, will, eventually, develop us into those that have and not those that have not.

Terry Norrington

http://www.getselfconfident.com

http://www.alleluiasuccessishere.com

Decisions, Decisions. How to Make the Right Choice with Self Confidence.

2009-04-08T15:11:00.001-07:00

Making decisions comes naturally to some and not to others. Self confidence plays a major part in somebody's ability to make quick decisions. Once made, a decision will provide energy and motivation to make that decision the right one.

But how do we know if we have made the right decision?

Ultimately, nobody has a crystal ball. But there are several things that we can call upon to make the best decision possible.

Information

To the best of our ability we need to do our homework about a subject. Find out as much about the problem or answer that you need to make as possible. This may take time and sometimes we don't have the time we would like to research the point in question. Fortunately with the aid of today's technology, finding answers to our queries can be a lot quicker and easier. Although it may not be easy, if we can push for as much time as possible to do our homework, the decision is more likely to be an informed one.

Experience

Quick decisions can be made if we have experienced the situation before. We know the pitfalls and the likely outcomes because we have seen similar circumstances in the past. Experience is a wonderful thing because it often means we can do things on auto pilot. We make decisions daily and even hourly yet we probably don't realise it because they are decisions we make without giving a second thought, based on the fact that we have been along this road many times before.

Seek Advice

Along with doing our homework comes seeking advice. Making milestone decisions on a particular point which we have no experience will work out much more in our favour if we speak to people who are expert in the field or at least have experience of the point in question. Some advice may come at a price. Legal or financial advice will probably cost but will be worth it in the long run if it points us in the right direction. It's surprising how so many people will not ask for advice. It dents their pride to think that they don't know all the answers or cannot work the answer out for themselves. Others just don't like to burden folk with their problems believing that they have enough of their own. Yet we all like to be needed. We all like to think that we have something valuable to contribute, so are very often happy to give our advice, and for free.

Gut Instinct

Sometimes a decision just feels right. That new house we are after, we can't put our finger on why, but it just feels like the right place. It's giving off the right vibrations. That business deal we are trying to clinch, it just seems like the right decision to make. Unfortunately, when speed is of the essence, we need to make a decision straight away and we don't have time to do the homework. We may just have to go on gut instinct. But if it doesn't feel right, if there are any doubts, do not go through with it. Experience can provide a terrific grounding for gut instinct. Deep in the subconscious mind we may be recalling a previous similar situation and although the clarity isn't there, the feelings are coming through via our subconscious mind.

The hard part of using gut instinct is appreciating when it is saying "no". We can be left with the question, are we saying "no" because our gut instinct is saying so or is the answer "no" coming from fear, fear of stepping outside our comfort zone?

This is when homework, experience and seeking advice will help determine whether it is gut instinct or fear that is holding us back.

Entrepreneurs and business people are extremely good at making quick decisions. As they become more experienced the right decisions are made more frequently. We all make mistakes and if we make the wrong choice, we have to view it is part of the learning process. Making the correct choice will become easier as we learn and absorb more. Then we will have the self confidence, inspiration and optimism to go forward believing that we are making the right decisions.

How fantastic is that?

Terry Norrington

http://www.getselfconfident.com

http://www.alleluiasuccessishere.com

Assertiveness and Self Confidence. The Perfect Win-Win Situation

2009-04-04T14:04:00.001-07:00

Assertiveness is a fantastic quality to have and really enhances self confidence which in turn provides motivation to achieve the goals in life we most desire. Assertiveness is very much a word that is heard from people coaching personal development and is a subject that is preached in many a sales training course.

So what is this great attribute called assertiveness?

Can it be learned?

Answering the second question first; yes definitely it can be learned, if that person so desires to learn this skill.

The answer to the first question is slightly longer. Assertiveness is the ability to express upon others your emotions, principles and desires without treading on the other persons toes; infringing their rights and desires. This must be done without being aggressive. The opposite end of the scale is to be passive, where we would constantly say "yes" to others just to please and as a consequence we violate our own rights. Some people have explained assertiveness as the art of saying "no".

Assertiveness is about being in control, not showing anger when explaining what we want. It is the middle ground between aggression and passiveness. The relationship between aggression, passiveness and assertiveness was once explained as

Aggression – I win , you lose
Passiveness – I lose, you win
Assertiveness – I win, you win

A lack of assertiveness is a behavioural trait that has been learned to help deal with others, to earn their love or at the very least not to be spurned by them. For this we let go of our rights and create a fear of standing up for ourselves. A feeling of worthlessness comes from saying "yes" when we really want to say "no". Self confidence can seriously be damaged in the process. But this can change if we make that decision to be assertive.

Unless we are dealing with an over sensitive person, in which case we do need to tread with care, people will admire assertiveness and self confidence. So how do we develop that great quality of assertiveness?

Let's start with the techniques,

Whenever a favour is asked of us, ask the question, does this request contravene my interests, principles or obligations? If the answer is "yes", say "no".
Whenever our rights are trodden on we must stand up for ourselves. It matters not how small the infringement may be, letting an incident go will encourage the subconscious mind to behave the same way next time, and this may well be a greater betrayal of our rights. Constantly practice assertiveness will eventually make it second nature.
Use assertive body language. Body language can either support or contradict assertive behaviour. Standing erect with shoulders back, both feet firmly on the ground with no arms folded and using positive eye contact demonstrates assertiveness and self confidence.
Avoid aggressive behaviour. This will lead others to be resistive and hateful.

It also helps to remember some of these rules.

We all have the right to our own values, beliefs, emotions and opinions.
We have the right to justify and explain our actions to others.
We have the right to tell others how we wish to be treated.
We have the right to say "I don't know", "I don't understand" and in particular, "no".
We have the right to take the time required to develop our ideas before expressing them.
We have the right to make mistakes (although I hope we learn from them).
We have the right to stand up for ourselves and for what we want.
Particularly, we have the right to be treated with respect.

Assertiveness is really about communication, in a fashion that is neither aggressive nor passive using both body language and carefully chosen words. Creating a win – win situation develops our own self confidence and motivation and instils inspiration and optimism in others. This is a sign of great leadership.

How fantastic is that?

Terry Norrington

http://www.getselfconfident.com

http://www.alleluiasuccessishere.com

Is There More to Life Than Money

2009-04-01T14:31:00.001-07:00

Many people consider success to be purely financial. For some the creation of a healthy bank balance gives them self esteem, self confidence and pride. Money talks. Undoubtedly having money can provide peace of mind and security but the love of money above anything else can lead to a very shallow life.

The abundance that is there for everybody to obtain doesn't come from money alone; it come from having a fulfilling life, taking on adventures and living your dreams. The word "reward" conjures up images of money; money earned or money gained from passing on information. But the rewards in life can be so much greater. Giving and helping others breeds contentment and satisfaction to a degree that many other activities fail to achieve.

Obviously raising money for charity is a noble thing to do. Even charities need money to survive. I can remember as a schoolboy doing events like sponsored swims and sponsored silences (yes I did manage to do this). At such a tender age I can still recall the pride that I felt having given my time selflessly.

In my adult years, doing walks for childrens' charities was my "thing" for a little while. Not only did I feel that sense of joy and self esteem again, I also felt that I had achieved by pushing myself to complete the course. Come November time BBC Television and Radio presents a bonanza of fund raising events all in aid of childrens' causes. Two years on the trot I was able to participate by manning the phones at our local BBC Radio Station collecting all the pledges as they came rolling in. I really felt a tremendous buzz as I had contributed to such a fantastic fund raiser as BBC Children in Need.

Doing good works for others doesn't necessarily have to come in the name of charity. We can do good deeds every day. Even our work can provide a sense of satisfaction when we are able to help to provide a service for someone. Going that extra mile, doing that little bit more for somebody beyond what we are paid for can provide enormous rewards, and yes, sometimes that can mean financially as well.

Paul, a good friend of mine used to be a project manager in the IT industry. He earned good money but unfortunately he ended up being made redundant. Because the computer world was inundated with a wealth of talented people he found it very difficult to get another job in IT. Eventually he took a job teaching unemployed people literacy and numeracy and helping them to get job placements. Some of these people could be difficult to handle as they didn't really want to be there, only being on the course because of the threat of withdrawal of their benefits. But occasionally he would get the one person who made it into the job market and was extremely grateful for the help they have received. This was the jewel in the crown for Paul which made his job so rewarding. The pay was poor in comparison to his previous work but he still teaches literacy and numeracy today, albeit for a supermarket chain where his students are more willing, thus the rewards of satisfaction come thicker and faster.

I have tremendous pleasure in referring back to some work I did in Nigeria in 2003. Having commissioned some Water Treatment Equipment I had to train the maintenance staff on the operation and maintenance of the equipment. It was so visible in their faces that my presentation had gotten through to them and that it had been of great interest and relevance. At the end of my training they were asking lots of questions, not just about the equipment but about me. Again the rewards were so deeply gratifying.

This year I am hoping to do more charitable work. It is my intention to sign up for a project for which I will spend a week in Rumania, along with other like minded people, constructing extensions to an orphanage for children with learning difficulties.

Helping others to better their lives is a reward in its self. It's surprising how doing things selflessly for others without striving for money can provide inspiration and motivation for others to do the same. It also does wonders for your self confidence and self esteem too.

How fantastic is that?

Terry Norrington

http://www.alleluiasuccessishere.com

http://www.getselfconfident.com

http://www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index.htm#terryn1

http://www.140020.successuniversity.com

You Need Inspiration and Motivation? Get a Mentor

2009-03-31T15:22:00.001-07:00

Motivation, inspiration and self confidence are fantastic attributes to have but they can elude even the most successful people from time to time. So who does the budding entrepreneur turn to when they need some inspiration?

Do they need anybody to turn to at all?

Mentors. Who are these mysterious people that have the answer to all our problems?

Well in fact they don't. This is why we need more than one. It is why they are also not that mysterious. They are likely to have expertise in one field. As an entrepreneur just starting on the road to success we are going to need advice in many areas of our business. This advice could be financial, legal, technical or educational so we need the experience of several people.

Some of this advice is going to cost money. A good account or solicitor doesn't come cheap unless we have them amongst our circle of friends. However, many will offer start up advice for free believing that you will use there services once you are up and running. If you can get this type of advice then it is ethical practice to use their services once you need your accounts looked after or a contract drawn up.

Friends or members of our family quite often provide valuable sources of advice and invariably this will also be free. It is great if friends or family become mentors because they are so much more approachable. However, be careful that you don't offend if you don't take their advice onboard. Sometimes you end up with conflicting advice from more than one individual and you then have to decide which course of action you are going to take.

It may come as a surprise to many that we can have the rich and successful as mentors too.

How?

So many have published books, set up courses or perform seminars. We can easily, normally for a small fee, discover how they create their success. This is a fantastic way of educating ourselves and tapping into the mindset of the experts. So many books sit on my bookshelves which I take down from time to time to refresh my memory over a tactic or purely just to provide inspiration.

To have mentors such as Richard Branson or Paul McKenna to guide and inspire is a tremendous facility that we all can have. Obviously the choice of successful people will depend on the individual but none the less these people are there for us to follow and emulate.

Another form of mentor is a coach. Very much thought of in the past as the domain of the sporting world, we can get a coach for almost any area of our lives now. Personal trainers, life style coaches, business coaches are all forms of mentors if we need them. At the beginning of an enterprise these types of coaches may not be required, but as a business expands we may need to consider whether we need to hire life style and business coaches to help personnel to grow and fulfil their potential.

As we can see, mentors are a necessity if an enterprise is going to succeed. It is virtually impossible to be successful on our own. Along with advice, they provide motivation, optimism, inspiration and self confidence.

How fantastic is that?

Terry Norrington

http://www.getselfconfident.com

http://www.alleluiasuccessishere.com

Optimism and Motivation. The Skills of a Great Leader

2009-03-30T14:21:00.001-07:00

To be a leader requires many attributes and abilities; qualities such as self confidence, self belief, motivation, optimism and enthusiasm. Having charisma – that charm and personality, also helps particularly in line with the ability to be engaging. To help your team to focus on the goals and fully understand their roles is a must if any task is to be truly successful.

As a commissioning engineer I have had to train many personnel on equipment before handing over for them to maintain. It is extremely rewarding when your audience have fully participated in the training programme and you can see that they have really appreciated the knowledge that has been passed to them.

Back in 2003 I had two visits to Nigeria to commission some water treatment equipment at a tobacco factory in the city of Ibadan. On the second visit, one of my remits was to perform the training not only on the plant that I had been commissioning but also on another companys system to. As I wasn't overly familiar with this equipment, I felt very apprehensive about conducting the training.

The organisation that I had been sub-contracted to were Yugoslavian and the engineers that I had been reporting to had said

"Don't worry, these Nigerians won't ask any questions, the training will soon be over"

These Yugoslavian engineers were conducting some training of their own after my session was over. Tuesday afternoon at 1.00p.m. my time came to perform my training. Gathered around the plant were ten Nigerian guys that at first glance looked totally uninterested.

"Lets go for it" I thought and proceeded to introduce myself.

Now my style was to be light-hearted, not taking myself too seriously. I would obviously go systematically over the equipment but I would throw questions back at them to make sure that they were taking in the information that I was imparting. By the time I had finished talking about the system that I was less familiar with I really felt that I had gotten these Nigerian maintenance staff on my side. I had them then ask me questions and these questions were very intelligent ones. They were interested and I was pleased that my style seemed to be working.

I was becoming more at ease now and when I went on to explain about my "baby"; the piece of equipment that I had commissioned I was in my element. The enthusiasm flowed out and by the end of my training session all these Nigerian maintenance engineers were gathering around me to ask questions about me. I honestly felt that they had taken me to their hearts. It was 4.00p.m.; some three hours later. This had hardly been a short training course and my Yugoslavian friends had still to conduct their training.

In comparison their method was far more serious. They didn't ask questions of the students and didn't invite questions back. It was plain to see the Nigerian staff "switching off" and loosing interest. These people were bright, intelligent people who could very easily take in the lessons providing the training was interesting and engaging.

Despite my nervousness at the beginning, I had the self confidence and self belief to get me through the training and win these people over. With the qualities of enthusiasm and optimism I was able to find the ability to provide motivation and inspiration to these Nigerian people.

Terry Norrington

http://www.alleluiasuccessishere.com

http://www.getselfconfident.com

Never Fear Success is Here

2009-03-29T15:26:00.001-07:00

To become a success, there are certain personality traits such as motivation, self confidence, inspiration and leadership skills that are almost certainly a must to reach our dreams. But are these all that are required or are there other attributes needed?

Are these traits the privilege of a fortunate few or can these fantastic skills be learned?

Let's first consider what the definition of success is. Although the definition of success can be as broad as there are numbers of people, it can be narrowed to the fulfilment of dreams, the achieving of goals and the pursuit of happiness.

Success is very seldom created overnight. It can require patience, time, effort and very often, hard work. Despite all our efforts, midway through a project, when all seems lost and our hopes are dashed, disappointment sets in and the desire to quit becomes strong. Successful people resist the temptation to give up and find something easier to tackle because they have the personality traits to help them through such difficult times.

These attributes are behavioural traits and they are definitely traits that aren't confined to a fortunate few but ones that can be learned and developed. It requires a certain strength to reach the desired goals for success. During the journey it is likely that we will encounter rejection, disappointment, pain, regret, sacrifice and perhaps occasionally, depression.

So how do we find the motivation, optimism, inspiration and self confidence to carry on?

Smile in the face of adversity. Failure is a normal fact of life and if we learn to accept failure in a positive light as being part of our education, then we can move on knowing that we have learned a valuable lesson and are less likely to make that mistake again.
Get used to rejection. Some of the most successful ideas have been rejected by people in their early stages of development. Even the Beatles, one of the most successful bands of the 1960s, were rejected by managers and record labels in the early part of their careers. When it is considered that sales people may only convert 1 in 10 of their leads that is still a 90% rejection rate. If we can truly believe in our product and our abilities we can smile at rejection and move on.
Disappointment hits the people with ambition far harder than most. When we are stricken with disappointment we need to rally the troops, take counter measures, change strategy and move on. If something isn't working we must change the way we are doing it.

Success requires that we must face and relish the challenges that lie ahead. Adversity should be considered a normal pattern to life and not an unwanted catastrophe. Consider these as a sign that we must reform or change tactics and not that "I tried hard, didn't succeed so I gave up".

It becomes obvious that not only are motivation, inspiration, self confidence and optimism required to become that successful entrepreneur but resilience plays a very big part on that journey to success as well.

Fortunately these are personality traits that can be learned and developed and there is hope and optimism for us all.

How fantastic is that?

Terry Norrington

http://www.getselfconfident.com

http://alleluiasuccessishere.com

Love is in the Air

2009-03-27T16:26:00.001-07:00

Love and our relationships are very precious and sometimes extremely fragile. At the beginning of a relationship we are walking on air. All seems right with the world and we seem invincible. But sooner or later that honeymoon period ends as familiarity sets in and the relationship becomes comfortable. This leads to taking our partner for granted which in turn causes resentment. Along with those annoying little things that our partner does, the relationship starts to head on a downward slope.

Does this sound familiar?

Are you taking the other half for granted or are you the one being taken for granted?

How can the downward slope be turned into the fantastic climb up the mountain of dreams?

At the beginning we would have observed all the positive attributes about her/him. Those gorgeous eyes, that fit body or the amazing sense of humour. The likelihood is there are still many of those positive attributes still present in our partner. Granted the bum may start to "look big in this" or the belly might be hanging over the belt but personality wise there remains many beautiful traits that first attracted us to our partners and some hidden ones will have emerged as well.

The little things that niggles us, how bad are they really?

Unless our partner has turned into a real life monster, those negative aspects can be ignored with the focus on the many great attributes our partner possesses. Realising that the significant other has some fantastic qualities enables us to focus on the good. Remembering the good times and the fact that you can still have those good times because you still have a lot in common with shared interests, will help the love to grow back into the relationship.

Being positive about our partner doesn't just amount to what we view. Speak positively in their company. We have to compliment each other and talk about our hopes, our dreams and our aspirations. Focussing on where we want to go and how to achieve this creates fantastic energy and a desire to reach those goals together. As in any other aspect of personal development, being positive ultimately ends with positive results. The Law of Attraction dictates that.

Remember to take an interest in our partners. Finding out about how their day has been and really listening increases their respect for you. Ask them questions and truly listen to the response. Everybody loves to feel that their ideas and opinions mean something to somebody even if their interests revolve around Gillingham Football Club and you haven't got the faintest interest in football.

Asking questions of our partner and devoutly listening to the answers could actually teach us something about them that we didn't know. Our interests do change as we move on in life and our opinions do also change. Listening to what our partners have to say and understanding those opinions helps the relationship to evolve. This doesn't mean to say that you have to agree with everything they say. Having a mind of our own and being able to think for ourselves is a healthy situation.

Both our partners and ourselves have strengths and weaknesses. These strengths and weaknesses will be different yet combining our strengths will provide for a stronger entity. Despite having the odd disagreements and slight difference of opinions we should never try to compete with each other. Trying to outdo the other and point score is a very damaging activity to follow. Playing mind games determines that somebody will be the winner and a partnership should be a win-win situation.

Practice gratitude. Being grateful for all we have is a very noble action but to express gratitude for all the good things in our relationships will again help the relationship to blossom. It enables us to focus on the positive and all good things come to those who believe that they can have them.

We mustn't stifle our partners. As much as we are looking for the positives in our relationship, being with our partners night and day can prove suffocating. Every person needs the space to be themselves, this is healthy, but sharing some activities is also healthy for the relationship too.

A healthy, loving relationship creates self confidence and self esteem in us. It provides motivation and inspiration, optimism and hope and together we can face the world together.

How fantastic is that?

Terry Norrington

http://www.getselfconfident.com

http://alleluiasuccessishere.com

Your Dreams Can Come True With a Penny of Self Confidence

2009-03-20T16:43:00.001-07:00

People who are successful appear to have that air of self confidence. They have tremendous motivation, optimism and energy. Successful entrepreneurs seem to have lady luck on their side; or is this strictly true?

Are these people really lucky?

Is that self confidence and self esteem just a façade?

Can anybody achieve success?

It has been said that successful entrepreneurs create their own luck. Throughout their venture they have the heart and bravery to try anything to see if it will work. Many of these do not work but they are not disheartened. They disregard the ideas that do not work and concentrate on those that do work. Failure is not viewed as a bad thing but as a learning curve. Learning happens all of the time. We don't have to go to university or college to be educated; although these institutions do provide an extremely beneficial part of the education curriculum. Life provides education and making mistakes are part of that education as viewed by entrepreneurs and successful business people.

Once the ideas that do not work are out of the way, this leaves the ones that do work, creating a system for success. Is that luck or being smart?

Successful people have the self confidence in their ability to sort out the successful ideas from the non-workable ideas. They retain faith when things go awry. Some of them have natural self confidence or have been brought up by parents who remain positive or talk in a positive manner. However many others have to work on their self confidence using self confidence techniques to build up their self esteem.

Thinking and talking positively is a necessary tool for creating success. The phrase "self fulfilling prophecy" is such a true term. Thinking negative thoughts will result in those negative thoughts becoming true. Positive thinking therefore brings forth successful results.

Self confidence will come from positive thinking and success will follow that. We have to be aware of the things that can go wrong so that we can guide ourselves around them. But the focus has to be on the positive ideas and to work on these in order to develop success.

No matter what situation we find ourselves in, no matter how low we can get, we can turn things around. History is full of truly inspirational rags to riches stories.

These stories are not one offs, just for the lucky few. These successful people believe in themselves and this faith along with self confidence provides them with the drive to get on in life.

This same faith and self confidence will provide us all with the motivation, optimism and inspiration to succeed.

How fantastic is that?

Terry Norrington

http://www.alleluiasuccessishere.com

http://www.getselfconfidence.com

Make Love Not War

2009-03-15T16:09:00.001-07:00

Every second or third Sunday I, my wife and two boys visit my mother and father for the afternoon and we have our Sunday lunch there as well; although it is almost evening by the time we sit down to eat. My father thinks he is Gordon Ramsay in the kitchen organising the cooking and the dishing up with order and authority. Woe be tide my mother or brother if they put a foot wrong when helping to get the food to the table.

Both my father and brother partake in the old tradition of the Sunday lunch drink down the local pub. Amongst their friends they debate politics, the economy and generally put the world to right whilst the alcohol slowly takes its effect.

Sometimes these weekly debates spill over to the dinner table as did happen recently. Religion was the subject of conversation and it was expressed that religion was the cause of the majority of the wars. Now I tend to jump right in with the defence of religion.

My argument is that wars are not caused by religion but by people; people who declare that they are fighting in the name of their religion. These people in my view do not grasp the basic principle of their religion, and that is one of peace.

Islam is a very peaceful religion that totally opposes violence as does Christianity.

Wars tend to be started because of somebody's greed, lust for power or the fundamental idea that a culture or religion is the only way that nations should live their lives by and will not rest until the world falls into line. Fundamentalism, the fight for their religion or culture to reign over all others is the reason that wars are fought - in the name of religion.

Stating that religion causes war is like saying that Football Clubs cause football hooliganism. Yobs gather to fight in the name of Millwall or Birmingham City but it is not Millwall or Birmingham City Football Clubs that cause the riots; it's the people doing so in the name of their Football Club. And in truth, are these hooligans really football supporters?

Many of them wouldn't know the offside rule anyway.

Everybody is entitled to live and let live. Everybody is entitled to their own point of view. Forcing a way of life and beliefs onto other people is a huge reason why wars are started. Fundamentalism exists amongst all religions and yet these people refuse to see the harm they are doing to their religion, home and country.

How much motivation, inspiration and self belief is needed to create a world of peace? To be in a world where all religions, cultures and individuals can live side by side without disturbance would be an ideal dream.

How fantastic would that be?

Terry Norrington

http://www.getselfconfident.com

http://www.alleluiasuccessishere.com

Be A Successful Entrepreneur With That Self Confidence Factor

2009-03-13T16:25:00.001-07:00

Is self confidence the be all and end all of success?

How great a part does self confidence play in being successful?

Self confidence certainly plays a major part in success. Self confidence is the belief that you can handle certain situations when they arise. You have that resounding self belief that you have the skills necessary to tackle any task required or that you can develop them when needed, which in turn provides the motivation to see any objective through to the end.

Self confidence is beneficial in both social and professional spheres. Without it you will more than likely miss out on many opportunities to be successful. A lack of self confidence in the social arena could very well mean missing out on the love of your life. That attractive young lady or the dashingly handsome fellow goes off with somebody else because you hadn't had the courage to go up to them and talk. Professionally how many job interviews could you be failing in because your lack of self confidence has been picked up or sensed by the interviewer.

Listed here are some very interesting facts about self confidence:-

Self confidence is learned and not inherited. For the most naturally self confident person this has still been learned from their parents or the environment in which they are submerged. And for those where self confidence doesn't come naturally, it can be learned using many different self confidence techniques.
Amongst every individual the level of self confidence will vary dependant on the task being performed. A burly weightlifter will probably have grave doubts about his ability to ballet dance.
Levels of self confidence will vary dependant on events. In times of grief self confidence may well be lacking along with the will to perform certain tasks.
External factors will have a strong bearing on levels of self confidence. If you are rich or if somebody truly loves you, you will have far more self confident than if you are first starting to acquire wealth or looking for that first love.

Lack of self confidence may seem to stem from many varied reasons. In fact the root cause is a common thread. That thread is of having irrational ideas about yourself.

Why do you think you are ugly?

Why do you think you are worthless?

If you evaluate these questions you will probably see that you are not ugly and definitely not worthless. The ideas have come from somebody else, a source of which you have trusted. In your adult years you can rationally see that these ideas hold no real rationale but yet it seems hard to eradicate these beliefs. Other peoples judgements have become your own.

Hypnosis is a wonderful tool to help you overcome irrational ideas and beliefs. Positive ideas about yourself and your abilities will help you become that self confident person. When you are in a state of relaxed concentration (trance like state), the subconscious mind is more receptive to new ideas and suggestions making it easier to install the belief that you can be more confident.

A very simple three step hypnosis programme can soon create far greater self confidence.

Identify irrational beliefs causing you to suffer from a lack of self confidence.
Use a trusted hypnotist or practice self hypnosis to install new more confident suggestions and beliefs into the subconscious mind.
Repeat each day and monitor progress until self confidence sets in.

Without doubt self confidence is a master quality to have for entrepreneurs who are striving for success. With it you will have motivation, inspiration and optimism to build the life of your dreams.

How fantastic is that?

Terry Norrington

http://www.getselfconfident.com

http://www.alleluiasuccessishere.com

GOAL!! Yes You Need Them If You Want the Motivation to be Successful.

2009-03-11T16:23:00.001-07:00

Many people appear to be happy just taking each day as it comes without any great desire or motivation to improve their lives. They are contented with their lot and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that attitude. For others though, they want to progress in life, build success and make things happen.

For every entrepreneur that sets out to create a successful business they need to set goals. Without goals the venture becomes like a ship without a rudder; directionless. By setting goals and doing our utmost to keep them we are creating a path for the business to follow.

Goals should be long term, medium term and short term. In the long term you visualise how big you want the business to grow to, the amount of staff you would like to employ, the type of business premises you would like and its location. Medium term goals are a little more specific, painting a picture of where your business will be in six months time, a year or three years.

Short term goals are the ones that you aim to achieve daily and weekly. These set out all the detailed things that require to be done to help the business grow and fulfil the medium and long term dreams. Every time a short term goal is reached it strengthens our self confidence and self belief that we can achieve success. There is nothing like a little bit of success to provide the motivation to create even more success.

Goals don't have to be just about creating a business. If we want to be successful in any walk of life, goals help us reach our dreams more effectively and quickly. Sportsmen and women in particular use goals to continuously improve and reach their pinnacle of performance.

Setting goals and achieving them is a success that should be celebrated. By celebrating success you have the motivation, inspiration and self confidence to push on further.

How fantastic is that?

Terry Norrington

http://www.alleluiasuccessishere.com

http://www.getselfconfident.com

How to Keep Your Optimism and Motivation When your World is Falling Apart

2009-03-10T16:13:00.001-07:00

When times are hard do you loose that sense of motivation and optimism?

Does your self confidence and self esteem disappear when the unexpected happens?

When your expectations aren't met do you feel despair?

Although these are the feelings of many in times of trouble, by re-aligning our point of view about setbacks we can start to appreciate that we are receiving feedback. From this feedback we can learn and change our strategies.

Accept change.

We all like stability in our lives. But to expect the boat never to rock or our expectations to always be met is rather unrealistic. Changing circumstances are a normal fact of life and we have to accept the inevitable; that change happens.

Feeling depressed or sorry for ourselves is a negative emotion that will slow us down and cloud any vision that we might need to change our position. Accepting change as part of life builds self confidence to handle the ups and downs of life and provides the inspiration to cope with any new situation.

What happens to the mind.

Whenever we are faced with difficult situations our subconscious minds searches through the database for various options and solutions. Once found these options are applied whether they are negative as in depression or positive as in taking action. We have to remove the negative options and decide to be positive the next time things don't go our way.

Once negative options are erased, our subconscious mind delves for new ideas. It is surprising how new and positive options are now free to surface.

Be prepared.

It does help to be prepared for changes. Expect the unexpected. Taking this attitude means less disappointment when difficult times occur. This is not about taking a pessimistic stance; more the fact that facing up to change means we are less likely to panic in times of adversity.

Company managers and directors face unexpected circumstances on a daily basis. Yet they find solutions, they do not panic and never despair. Feeling bad is never an option.

We are the bosses of our own lives. When change occurs we mustn't feel blue but instead we need to alter our approach, be flexible, work harder or even simply start all over again. Just don't feel bad.

A couple of analogies.

Water changes shape to fit its container. Likewise we need to change to fit the situation or our environment.

If we are sitting in a room when all of a sudden the lights go out, we very soon start to see through the darkness. Our eyes adjust accordingly. When faced with our own personal darkness, there is no need to panic or feel sad. Just adjust accordingly and look for the light switch. This will restore our self esteem, inspiration, optimism, motivation and self confidence.

How fantastic is that?

Terry Norrington

http://www.alleluiasuccessishere.com

http://www.getselfconfident.com

Don't Get Angry. Stay In Control of Your Life and Your Optimism.

2009-03-07T14:39:00.001-08:00

We all get angry from time to time. It can lower our self esteem and drain us of energy and inspiration. How many of us feel guilty when the red mist forms?

If anger makes us act irrationally, later regretting our words or actions then anger can be perceived as being destructive. But if anger can be controlled and channelled it can be a useful and productive emotion.

So what are the things that make us angry and sap us of all motivation?

The list is enormous but can include some of the following:-

People jumping ahead of us in queues.
Too much work being placed upon us and getting stressed in the process.
Being told off by our superiors at work especially when it is unjustified.
Team members not pulling their weight.
Things going wrong when you have the least time for it.
Being poked fun of.
Being afraid. Anger can be caused by fear.

Some if not all of these will have been experienced at some point or other.

Anger is a mechanism stemming from the subconscious mind when defending our rights, things going unexpectedly wrong or we are frightened. The emotion of anger is launched to help us try and regain control of a situation.

Uncontrolled anger can be destructive. Who remembers the episode of "Fawlty Towers" when Basil Fawlty beats his car with a tree branch when it breaks down?

However, suppressing anger can lead to depression. One definition of depression is "anger turned inward". Suppressed anger will come out in one way or another eventually. This may be in the form of bad dreams, unexplained moodiness or bursts of unexplained anger. Rather than being angry with the boss and going home and taking out on the cat, here are some great techniques that have proved invaluable for controlling anger and regaining some self control and self esteem:-

Control self talk. On the way to work we can be having thoughts like "my boss is going to give me a shed load of work today". As this thought goes over and over in our minds, the anger grows and by the time we get to work we can be fuming. We need to be practicing positive self talk to keep us calm. Also, after a period of anger, positive self talk can help us to calm down and focus on the present again.
Assertiveness. This is the art of communication that allows us to stand up for our rights without being violent or aggressive. There are many articles and publications that lecture on the subject of assertiveness.
Washing Our Face. This may sound odd, but if you are near a wash basin next time you feel angry, give it ago.
Changing our position. If we are standing up when we feel angry, sit down. If we are sitting down then lie down.
Relaxation techniques. By learning to relax we can let go of anger almost at will if relaxation techniques have been practiced often enough that it becomes automatic.
Workout or Run. By working out or running any anger is released without taking it out on the wrong people. We very often find that are performance when working out or running is greatly improved if we are venting off some anger at the same time.

Anger can be constructive or destructive. Controlling anger can actually be very beneficial and won't cause lack of self esteem, self confidence, motivation or optimism. We won't feel guilty either.

How fantastic is that?

Terry Norrington

http://www.getselfconfident.com

http://www.alleluiasuccessishere.com

Are You After Money, Rewards and Abundance? Read On!!!

2009-03-03T14:36:00.001-08:00

How fantastic is that?

Terry Norrington

http://www.cryinthedark.co.uk

http://www.getselfconfident.com