outshine consulting

How Much Is Trying Too Hard Costing You?

2009-02-04T14:50:00.001+11:00

Have you ever wanted to achieve something and yet the more effort you put in the less progress you seem to make? Sometimes when we try too hard we actually come to a standstill. If you can relate to this it's time to change your approach. Discover 4 key reasons why people don't achieve success...

read more | digg story

3 Reasons Why Steve Jobs (Apple Computers) Is Such A Success

2009-02-04T14:44:00.001+11:00

Steve Jobs had a tough start in life - he was put up for adoption, dropped out of college after 6 months and returned coke bottles for 5 cent deposits to buy food. Despite all of that he went on to start Apple Computers & Pixar Animation Studios, and is now one of the most successful entrepreneurs of our time. Discover his rules for success now...

read more | digg story

Dear Santa, I'd Like A Bigger Belly Please...

2008-12-17T13:33:00.001+11:00

For so many people xmas is about over-indulgence - great food, delicious wine, cold beers and slabs of xmas cake! So how can you make sure that an extra kilo during the holiday season doesn't turn into 5 or 10 by January?

read more | digg story

Top Tips On How To Avoid Seasonal Stress

2008-12-17T13:27:00.001+11:00

Christmas is typically one of the most stressful times of the year. The expense of buying gifts combined with the pressure of last minute shopping and heightened family expectations can be enough to send anyone over the edge! So if you’d like to know how to stay calm and get the most out of your Christmas keep reading...

read more | digg story

3 Tips To Forge Ahead Of The Financial Flop

2008-12-01T14:29:00.001+11:00

I'm sure everyone reading this is bored of the doom and gloom, fed up of the whinging and frustrated with the economy. But are you sitting back hoping it all works out or are you forging ahead and keeping on track? Find out how to stay ahead of the financial flop now...

read more | digg story

3 Reasons Why People Don't Stick To Their Weight Loss Goals

2008-11-28T07:59:00.001+11:00

Have you ever joined a gym and then lost the motivation to go? Or started a diet and given up after only a few days? If so, you're in the majority. However, with 49% of people overweight and unfit these are statistics you can't afford to ignore...

read more | digg story

Revealed: A New Approach To Boosting Your Career & Finances

2008-10-15T10:39:00.001+11:00

It's amazing how so many people are keen to improve their career, finances or relationships but place very little importance on their health. You can't expect to have razor-sharp focus and the energy levels required to succeed in life if you don't spend time looking after the things that make you tick. Find out how to start getting results today!

read more | digg story

Are you in the 'Yes Trap'?

2008-04-30T08:08:00.002+10:00

So many of us fall into the trap of saying yes to things that we should be saying no to. And when we're not saying yes we're spending time regretting not having the nerve to say no! Quite frankly it's exhausting...

Do you find yourself saying yes to: -

- Social invites that you don't really want to attend?
- Client meetings that take up too much time?
- Activities that you can't afford?
- Family requests that you find draining?

If you've fallen into the 'Yes Trap' where you're agreeing to things you'd rather not be doing it's time to set some boundaries. Follow these 3 simple steps and nail the nerve to say no: -

1. Hindsight is a great thing

Firstly learn from your mistakes and get to know yourself a bit better - it's important to recognise what motivates you to say yes even when you want to say no. Ask yourself -

- Why did I say yes when I should have said no?
- What was I fearful of losing or missing out on by saying no?
- Who did I want to impress?

2. Stand up for yourself

If you don't set boundaries you'll simply waste time and wind up feeling frustrated and unhappy. You need to determine a clear set of guidelines that help you navigate through making a decision so that you don't yes when you feel under pressure! Think about what's important to you and what you truly value in your personal and professional life. When you know what your values are saying no becomes a whole lot easier!

3. Buy yourself time

If you break into a cold sweat at the prospect of saying 'no' you need to create time for yourself to think clearly and objectively. First and foremost, when a request is made, don't answer immediately! Simply ask if you can respond or rsvp later in the day and then consider your answer in line with your boundaries and values. Give yourself time to make an informed and calculated decision.

What are you going to start saying no to? Post a comment - I'd love to hear from you.

How Much Is Criticism Costing You?

2008-04-16T08:07:00.003+10:00

Criticism can be a costly business mainly because as humans we're rarely open to it and we tend to take it personally! So if you're about dish out a serving of the Big C make sure you have a smart plan in place...

Little Pointers That Will Save Your Popularity

It's all well and good being open and honest and letting people know what you think, but it's equally as important to ensure that your criticism is constructive so that you aren't seen as judgemental or overly negative.

Follow these simple tips to make sure your criticism is more than a personal ego boost: -

1. Avoid Unnecessary Criticism

It's important to make sure you recognise the good things that people do instead of focussing purely on their faults. Unnecessary criticism is simply a personal ego boost that does nothing other than give the criticiser a false sense of 'being a better person'. Avoid criticising where possible.

2. Offer Encouragement

If you need to criticise make sure it's sincere and that you offer suggestions for improvement as well as encouragement and recognition for the good things that have been done. By encouraging the good qualities in someone they will be more receptive to your comments and ideas.

3. Avoid Moralising

When people need correcting we shouldn't avoid doing it, however it's important to be professional at all times. For example, if you point out a mistake avoid adding any unnecessary judgements about how bad the person is to do it - this will only make them defensive and less willing to act on your suggestions.

Have you criticised someone recently? What strategy did you use? Or have you been criticised yourself? How did it make you feel? Post a comment and let us know.

Would you like to eliminate email-overwhelm?

2008-03-26T08:30:00.003+11:00

How much clutter do you have in your inbox? By clutter I mean 'stuff' you know you should read or reply to, but you're not sure when you'll find the time or the inclination to do it ..

The worrying thing about 'stuff' is that it builds up - it's like a dirty disease that multiplies and in the end your inbox resembles a dusty archiving system that seems to serve only one purpose - to give you a big headache!

Email's a fantastic tool when it's used smartly but it's detrimental when it's relied on as a key source of communication. So like any bad habit, it's time to take control of this vice before it controls you by following our simple 3-step plan. If you're a subscriber to our e-newsletter you'll already know what you need to do - if not, subscribe now to keep up to date with our regular blasts of inspiration.

Take Control Of Your Emails Before They Control You!

1. Don't Con Yourself With Folders & Rules!

Having multiple 'smart' mailboxes that divert emails into separate folders does not make you more productive, it simply aids procrastination. Instead of spending time setting up complex rules and folders, simply deal with the messages in your inbox now and eliminate filing them altogether!

2. Unsubscribe

How many newsletters, updates and ezines do you receive a week? And how many do you actually read and get value from? Your life, career and business WON'T fall apart if you hit unsubscribe. Having the motto 'I MIGHT need it' isn't smart thinking so ditch what you don't need right now and only focus on what's important.

3. Pick Up The Phone

This ones simple - relationships and effective communication are fundamental in any area of life. But both can be horribly affected by using inappropriate email or relying on cyberspace as being the only form of communication. So before you practice your 100wpm typing speed consider whether picking up the phone might be a more effective medium? It's easy, it's reliable, and it'll give your inbox a well deserved break!

Is email controlling your life? Do you break into a cold sweat at the thought of not being able to log on? Participate in our quick survey at the top of this page, and post a comment now to let us know your thoughts.

Do You Spend Time With People Who Don't Make You Feel Great?

2008-03-17T10:23:00.002+11:00

This morning I talked to John Ogier on 2NSB about networking and how to expand your social circle. But what about the friendships you already have that don't support you?

Discover How To Spring-Clean Your Mates!

Who we are is a reflection of the people we surround ourselves with, but as we grow older and wiser the friends we've had by our sides for years don't necessarily grow at the same rate or in the same direction as us anymore. As friends grow apart it's easy to try and hang on to how things used to be however this can often be detrimental to your own peace of mind as you hang back trying to make an old routine work.

This is a topic that always makes people feel uncomfortable but, regardless of the season, it's important to spring-clean your friends every now and again to make sure your time and attention is spend wisely.

So as we kick-on into Easter, spend a few moments reflecting on the people you spend time with. Ask yourself: -

Do you spend time with people who don't make you feel good?
What would a 'Spring Clean' of your friends look like?
What difference would it make to you life?

Have you ever made a conscious decision to change your circle of friends? Post a comment - let me know what your did and how successful your strategy was.

Lacking Motivation To Lose Weight Or Exercise?

2008-03-05T15:20:00.001+11:00

Have you ever joined a gym and then lost the motivation to go? Or started a diet and given up after only a few days? If so, you're in the majority. However, with 49% of Australian's overweight and unfit these are statistics you can't afford to ignore.

The 3 Reasons Why People Don't Just Stick To Their Exercise & Weight Loss Goals

1. You're not focusing on the pain

To get internal motivation and achieve the results you want you need to remember what the cost is to your life if you don’t lose weight or get fit. Stop thinking about how much better you’ll look on the beach, and instead ask yourself what it will cost you (both short term and long term) not to change these unhelpful habits or patterns of behaviour? Obesity, Heart Attack, Relationships Issues, Unhappiness, Lack of Confidence. That’ll get you going!

2. You Accidentally Set ‘Away From’ Goals

Most people set themselves unspecific goals that are ‘moving away’ from what they want – for example ‘I don’t want to be fat’. That’s OK to get you started, but as soon as you lose a little bit of weight, your motivation drops, and you start to slack off again. ‘Away from’ goals focus your mind on what you don’t want─and help you get more of it. To enjoy long-lasting results you need compelling, specific and time-bound goals that pull you ‘Towards’ the things you want.

3. You Have Mixed ‘Pain vs Pleasure’ Associations:

Do you look forward to exercising & losing weight, or do you associate these ‘tasks’ with pain? People will do more to avoid pain than they will to find pleasure. So if you have mixed associations, part of you will want to workout, but another stronger part will resist it. You won’t be able to succeed long term, and you’ll just give up. Willpower is NOT the answer. You need to change these associations so that you’re effortlessly pulled to the gym and healthy foods, without needing will power at all.

Let me know what your challenges are regarding motivation - post a comment now!

Who Else Wants To Be An Entrepreneur?

2008-02-26T16:13:00.003+11:00

If you're a subscriber to our newsletter you can look forward to an insight into Wanna-Be-Entrepreneurs tomorrow, and specifically why there aren't more successful entrepreneurs out there!

If you're not a subscriber GET ON BOARD NOW to get your weekly blast of inspiration on Wednesday morning's ... it costs you nothing and gives you heaps, now there's an offer you can't refuse!

So what challenges are you coming up against that are stopping you putting your fabulous ideas into play? I'm coaching some outstanding entrepreneurs at the moment who are getting great results - let me know whats bothering you and you could be experiencing great results too!

Post a comment now!

Faye

Do You Do These 5 Annoying Things?

2008-02-11T16:05:00.000+11:00

If you're an Outshine Newsletter subscriber you'll find out all about these 5 annoying things later this week .... (and if you're not a subscriber, join now)

1 - You try to do everything yourself

2 - You take ages to make decisions that aren't critical

3 - You look to create variety when you don't need it

4 - You whinge when you make a decision you regret

5 - You put off making uncomfortable decisions

S0 what's taking up your time and attention now? Post a comment now and let me know what decisions you're struggling with - lets make February the month to sort them out. Looking forward to hearing from you!

Faye

Director

Outshine Consulting

Are You Getting Fatter Because You've Got No Motivation?

2008-02-08T18:17:00.001+11:00

Have you ever decided you wanted to do something, for example lose weight or get fit, and then felt so paralysed by a lack of motivation that you literally did nothing?

read more | digg story

Do You Make This Fatal Monday Morning Mistake?

2008-02-08T18:01:00.001+11:00

Are you thinking about the money you want to make, the job you want to be in, the weight you want to lose, or the life you want to lead? This is all great stuff, however life isn't only about the future. When we focus solely on the end result, and the excitement of the goal wears off, the reality can be overwhelming. The solution...

read more | digg story

Can't Be Bothered To Exercise?

2008-02-08T16:10:00.001+11:00

If you're like most you probably vowed to exercise more in 2008. So how's it going - are you feeling energised or are you struggling to keep motivated? It's great starting the year off with good intentions but if they're already fading you need a kick-start. 3 Common Excuses & How To Overcome Them...

read more | digg story

Givers Gain

2008-02-06T11:24:00.000+11:00

I belong to BNI, the worlds largest networking group with over 130,000 members globally. The BNI ethos is 'Givers Gain' and we work to provide referrals to BNI members in order to grow our respective businesses.

Last night I attended their new members training and it really got me thinking about the two different approaches people typically have to life:-

They focus on what other people can do for them; or
They focus on what they can do for others

This ties nicely in with the coaching model of 'Cause vs Effect' - do you look to blame others for the results you're getting or do you choose to be at cause and take responsibility yourself?

Once you start to put yourself at cause and spend time looking at how you can contribute to those around you rather than waiting to see what others can do for you, that's when you'll start seeing massive results. As BNI say "Givers Gain" and I guess that's also called karma!

What are you going to do today to help someone else?

Bad Day at the Office

2008-01-17T12:32:00.002+11:00

This is one of the most amusing video's I have seen in a long time and a prime reason why coaching exists! If you're having another bad day a the office isn't it time you did something about it? Career Coaching - it's cheaper than buying a new computer!

read more | digg story

Rich Dad Lessons: The Quick Reference Guide To Wealth

2008-01-16T14:19:00.001+11:00

As most of you know I'm an advocate of Robert Kiyosaki's work and have been recommending you read 'Rich Dad, Poor Dad' for quite some time so I love this article which summarises very nicely the different strategies between the majority who are broke, the middle class who are 'successful' and of course the rich.

Check out the links in this blog for more on "what the rich teach their kids about money - that the poor and middle class do not!". Can you afford to miss out on this valuable information?

read more | digg story

So what's it gonna be today?

2008-01-16T07:25:00.000+11:00

When you get up in the morning do you decide what your purpose is for the day OR do you travel through the day just doing what comes up and ending it thinking you're part-way through the week which in itself is an achievement?

It's all well and good having a relaxed attitude however really successful people don't just drift through life - they plan, orchestrate, and devise how they're going to get to where they want to be. And the key here is that they don't just have one huge goal - they break it down into manageable, bite-sized pieces and play out each day appropriately to get to the end result.

Have a purpose!

What has this got to do with intension's for the day? Well if you want to be successful you need to live each day purposefully - stop drifting and start driving. Your purpose for the day doesn't have to be cold and to-the-point, it can be as warm and fluffy as you like, just make sure you have a purpose! Some ideas are for you: -

To complete a project/article/job/task
To communicate effectively with my manager/team/partner
To do something for someone else with no self-gain
To go for a run/cycle/swim
To go to bed earlier so that I can get up earlier
To phone someone I haven't spoken to in a long time
To compliment someone on a job well done
To devise an exercise and weight-loss plan

This is NOT a To-Do list - just decide on one intention that works for you (no more, no less - just one!) and commit to carrying it out today. And then start again tomorrow. If you live everyday with an intension you'll be amazed at how much you achieve!

Your 2008 Perky Plan

2008-01-10T17:35:00.000+11:00

As featured in January 2008 Fitness First Members Magazine

If you're like most, your 2008 New Year's resolutions probably involve creating a 'new you'. Perhaps you want to lose weight, stop smoking, find a new partner, or carve out an exciting new career for yourself. They're all great goals, and highly achievable with the right level of motivation and conviction. However, have you ever actually planned to be happy? Follow this five-step 'Perky Plan' and you'll inject some happiness into your life. It's quick, it's easy, it's fun, and it work! Happy New Year, new you!

STEP 1 - BECOME CLEAR AND IN CONTROL

I'm willing to bet you probably spend more time planning your weekends that you do planning to be happy! If you stumble through life with no clear goals in place it's easy to get lost in the daily grind. So sit down today and get creative; design the life you want to leave, organise how you're going to do it, and enjoy being in control of your future. Aside from having clarity and direction, you'll find life's a lot more fun when you know where you're going!

STEP 2 - GET HEALTHY

Now this isn't rocket science but given the obesity levels in Australia and general lack of wellbeing I think the obvious needs to be said: if you're run-down, sick, tired and sluggish you're going to find it hard to be perky. Time and time again scientific evidence proves that healthy living can increase your levels of happiness, so stop putting time and effort into excuses and, instead, choose to invest in your wellbeing today.

STEP 3 - GET A BRIGHT OUTLOOK

Optimistic and positive people live longer, get sick less, are more successful, have better relationships, and are more likely to succeed in their careers. Those are all proven facts. Do you really need any more reasons to start being positive? Decide how you want to see the world, stop looking for the negative and practice having a perky perspective today. There are millions of people in the world worse off than you, so write a list today of five things you could feel positive about.

STEP 4 - COME TOGETHER

Good quality relationships, both personally and professionally, help reduce stress and depression, and increase your sense of wellbeing. Make a concerted effort to seek out positive, perky people and surround yourself with them everyday. Call your most fun friend now and make arrangements to see them this week, or join a new networking group to expand your social and professional circles.

STEP 5 - BECOME PERKY NOW!

Stop saying 'when' and start living 'now'! Are there any reasons why you would postpone being happy until tomorrow? No one else can live your life for you, or make you happy, so put your Perky Plan in place today, start living in the moment and put mediocre behind you for good. Remember, being upbeat won't kill you; but being glum just might!

Brain Boosters!

2007-12-18T17:05:00.000+11:00

If you're like most and have a week or two off over Xmas you've hopefully got some time scheduled in for a few hours of R&R! So how are you going to make the most of that time?

I used to be able to spend my time chilling out on the beach with just a trashy mag and a tube of factor 30 in hand. However my mind seems to get bored after about 30 minutes these days, so if you're like me and need something to keep you entertained I've put together a list of books that'll inspire and motivate you over the festive period: -

For general inspiration...

Giant Steps - Anthony Robbins

For women...

Secrets of Female Entrepreneurs - Dale Beaumont

For managers...

Fish! - Stephen C. Lundin, Harry Paul and John Christensen

For business owners...

The Business Coach - Bradley J. Sugars

For people who want to create wealth...

Rich Dad, Poor Dad - Robert Kiyosaki

For those who want to be exceptional communicators...

NLP in 21 Days- Harry Adler and Beryl Heather

So enjoy the beach, enjoy a good book, and let me know how you got on!

Stress can be good!

2007-11-29T17:39:00.002+11:00

It's been a funny old day ... I started off feeling in control, I had a couple of fantastic networking meetings, and things were panning out as I'd hoped. Brilliant!

Then I got a call that rattled my cage a bit. I got off the phone feeling stressed, and despite telling myself that everything was OK I still felt anxious and had that nagging feeling in the back of my mind. You know the one, the voice that won't let you relax.

If I reminisce back to my pre-coaching days I would have turned into a Well of Worry - over-analysing everything, doubting myself, and wondering what I could do to make the nagging go away. Thankfully things are far easier these days!

Equipped with my 'coaching toolkit' (my mind!) I sat down and asked myself:-

What is the anxiety and stress telling me?

It's purpose wasn't to make me feel bad, but to provide a valuable warning signal.

For me it was a wake up call to remind me that I hadn't done all the preparation I needed to for a particular event. The phone conversation had hit a nerve because unconsiously I knew there was more work to be done, and the stress was my 'alarm bell' saying "Faye - get on with it!".

So what did I do? I worked hard, I did all the necessary preparation I knew I had to do, and I got a plan of action in place. And what did I get? A relaxed mind again. I got to turn off my mental-alarm and go back to the sanctury of a peaceful headspace!

So next time you get stressed, sit down for a minute, and get some clarity. What is the stress telling you? Find out what the problem is, then work out how to solve it. At a time when logic often bypasses us, focus on a simple process for a happy head!

Getting lost.

2007-11-16T06:16:00.000+11:00

Wow, did I have an interesting evening last night!!

As a lot of you know from my newsletter, my brother and his gorgeous family are over in Australia visiting at the moment, and after a few days up on the Gold Coast they arrived back in Sydney last night to spend the last 5 days of their trip with me. Fantastic!

The not-so-fantastic thing was that they landed at 3.30pm, eventually got their hire car around 5pm, and then spent around 2 hours getting lost in Sydney's rush-hour and admitted defeat at 7pm when they found themselves going across the harbour bridge - in the wrong direction! We eventually arrived at their appartment at 8pm, beaten and worn.

So what has this got to do with a blog on personal coaching and development?

Well, you see, during the 2 hours of their unexpected tour of Sydney, I was a diligent sister and kept offering them directions, saying I would come and find them so they could follow me back, offering my partner's services to escort them in the right direction .... the list goes on. However, they kept saying 'No', probably not wanting to 'put us out', which ultimately culminated in a lost evening and lots of aching heads at the end of the day.

All too often this happens in people's lives. We're in a generation now that wants to be seen as self-sufficient, capable of 'doing it all', and god-forbid if we show ourselves 'weak enough' to ask for help. But as all good leaders know, the reality is that we often don't have the ability to do EVERYTHING and that's absolutely fine. We just need to recognise when we have the right people on our team to do the job more effectively. And by team that can mean your family, your friends, your professional network, your colleagues, your pet dog ...... anyone in your social or professional realm.

Armed with 'whereis.com', a trusted Sydney map, and 4 years of local knowledge, I was the best person on the team to get my family from A to B last night. So what are you struggling to do yourself that someone on your 'team' could assist with?

Give yourself a break and start making life easier. It's meant to be fun, not an uphill struggle!

What are you determined to do yourself? Let me know!