BoysMind Blog

BoysMind Books Titles Now Instantly Available as EBM Books

2009-05-28T12:42:00.000-07:00

I knew it would happen!

When our town decided to spend millions to replace an already-decent library, I thought “What a waste of money!” It seemed obvious to me a year or more ago that libraries, as we've known them, would soon be dismissed into obsolescence by emerging Print On Demand (POD) technologies. You'd simply walk in, tell the digital librarian what book you wanted, a few buttons would be pushed, and a machine would instantly manufacture a professionally printed and bound copy of the book for you. Instead of lending it, the library would sell it to you for a nominal fee. That would produce a revenue stream that supported the library, eliminating the need for public financing through tax millages.

Now comes On Demand Books of New York City, with their Expresso Book Machine (or “EBM”). Tell its operator what you want, the machine then goes online to fetch the PDF files, prints the book block and the cover, then binds them, and spits out a perfectly manufactured paperback.

Hmm ... wonder how long it will be before the EBM is turned into a vending machine. Wonder what the brick ’n mortar book stores will look like a few years from now.

Technology is certainly a destroyer for business models and careers. While we’re playing futurists, how about this ... nobody I know likes to read ebooks on a computer screen. Ever try sitting on the pot with your laptop atop you lap? For that, and lots of other reasons, that’s just not the same as holding a book in your hands. The EBM development is great, yet the machines are highly mechanical, and therefore most likely prone to maintenance problems. Beside that, what a waste of time and materials. What a load on the landfills! Wouldn’t it be great of someone developed a book-reader thingy that actually had the look and feel of a book? One that could download content via a wireless connenction to the Internet and receive requests and instructions via speech recognition (“go to”, “search”, “bookmark”, and so on)?

A word to the wise ... ODP beware! The life-cycle of your wonderful EBM is probably going to be short ... probably less than a decade.

Wanna see how the Expresso Book Machine works? Watch the video:

BoysMind Books has accepted an invitation from Lightning Source, an Ingram Content company, to participate in their partnership with On Demand Books, thereby easily entering this new innovative distribution channel.

Where can you buy one of our books, instantly produced while-you-wait by the Expresso Book Machine? Right now there are fourteen EBM installations, with many more planned:

Now in service:

• World Bank InfoShop, Washington D.C.
• New York Public Library, New York, NY
• New Orleans Public Library, New Orleans, LA
• Internet Archive, San Francisco, CA
• University of Michigan Library, Ann Arbor, MI
• Northshire Bookstore, Manchester Center, VT
• University of Alberta Bookstore, Edmonton, AB, Canada
• McMaster University Bookstore, Hamilton, ON, Canada
• Newsstand UK, London, England
• Library of Alexandria, Alexandria, Egypt
• Angus & Robertson Bookstore, Melbourne, Australia
• University of Waterloo Bookstore, ON, Canada
• Blackwell’s Bookstore, London, United Kingdom
• McGill University Library, Montreal, QC, Canada

Coming soon:

• Brigham Young University Bookstore, Provo, UT (2.0 beta test site)
• University of Melbourne, Australia

“Nothing endures but change.” said Heraclitus of Ephesus ... about 1500 years ago.
[ BMB Home Page ]

Earn Money for Your Activity or Organization

2009-05-22T09:29:00.000-07:00

Here's a fund-raising opportunity for boy-related activities and organizations, or for guys who are serious about earning money for their own college fund, or to pay for personal expenses.

My book, Mind Over Monster, is written as a practical how-to book for boys between the ages of ten and twenty-one.

There are about 22-million guys that age in the U.S. today. Most of them will carry a lot of baggage from childhood into their adult life. That load of worthless rubbish — invalid ideas and bad feelings — turns out to be self-defeating, and sometimes even distructive.

Boys waste many of their best years with bad feelings and failures, until they finally somehow on their own learn how to dump this junk. Many never do, so it keeps them from ever becoming all that they could be, tragically causing some to ruin their life before it has hardly even begun.

The whole idea behind Mind Over Monster is to show guys how they can avoid that; how they can easily move on from wherever they are, into a happy and successful ever after. It's not about child psychology, nor is it a feel-good religious book. It's a book of common-sense, real-life realities that anyone can understand, and changes that any young guy who wants the best out of life can easily make.

It's a book that every boy should read, and the sooner, the better.

Here's the deal. It's very simple. You can do other guys a big favor by getting a copy of Mind Over Monster into their hands, conveniently, and at a discount price.

My book has a barcode price of $24.95. Book sellers like Borders, Barns & Noble, Amazon and others who buy it from the distributor get the standard 55% trade discount. Their cost is therefore $11.23, plus the shipping cost and a small handling fee.

I will sell you the book at the same wholesale price, but with free shipping and no handling charge!

You may then sell the book to your friends, classmates, or anyone else, for whatever price you think is fair. Online sellers offer the book for as low as $18.96, plus shipping, which adds about $4.00 more. That comes to about $23.00 total.

If you sell your books for the magic number “$19.95” delivered, you'll earn $8.72 each. Selling a dozen books nets your activity, orgainzation, or your personal kitty, a little over $100. Selling 100 gets you $872, 1000 provides $8,720, and so on.

There are no catches and no strings attached. You buy the books from me, I ship them directly to you, and they're yours. You can order any quantity you want, whenever you want. You can do whatever you want with your books — sell them wherever you want, to whomever you want, and at any price you want.

You'll be able to order your books online, and pay for your order through eBay's PayPal. If you are less than legal age, your PayPal order, which requires a credit card, debit card or checking account, will represent proof of parental consent. PayPal also gives you top-notch data security and purchase protection programs that help guarantee you'll get what you paid for.

“Check it out! Order a single review copy of the book …”

Check it out. Order a single copy of the book to review for yourself, or with others. If you like the book, and think it would be helpful to other boys, just use the same link to order more as you need them.

This offer is for guys who are serious about fund-raising and making money by selling my books. It is not intended to compete with the book sellers who have been kind enough to make Mind Over Monster available world-wide. The ordering page is therefore not available to the public. Click here to send me a blank email, and an autoresponder will immediately send you the ordering link.

[ Please Click Here ]

Read tips, hints and success stories. To learn more about BoysMind Books, please visit the www.boysmindbooks.com web site.

One-Hundred Things — Family Values

2009-04-01T14:21:00.000-07:00

Family life is usually lots of fun, until the first child crosses the threshold between childhood and adolescence. Then parents begin to regret the neurotic longings and romantic fantasies; those sirens that beguiled them into parenthood back when their love was new, and things used to be so peaceful and happy.

When it comes to their own children, parents are apt to misapply the "Golden Rule" ... to do onto their children as they wished their own parents might have done onto them ... rather than employ a more sensible approach. The result is children who feel naturally entitled to privileges and good things; children who haven't been taught anything about the principle of reciprocity — the relationship between input and output; the reality that privileges and good things are made possible by someone's having made an effort to enable such possibilities.

That's not a lesson children can learn by receiving privileges and good things. Nor can it be taught by lecturing. The only way a person learns that reward is the wages of effort is by experience, and the teaching of that lesson needs to begin at the earliest possible age.

Why the "Golden Rule" mistake?

Most of us grow up to be neurotic. We're discontented and unhappy with life. Because we are neurotic, we have to blame that on someone or something else. We therefore cultivate the belief that we're miserable and unsuccessful because our parents were thoughtless and mean ... that we were mistreated, exploited and deprived, and our childhood was the worst ever. As an unconscious strategy for proving to ourselves that this nonsense is indeed true, we resolve never do that to our own kids ... to be much better parents than the ones we were stuck with.

We therefore coddle our children, protect them from every stress and distress, and lavish upon them everything that we can afford to give, with the intention of enabling them to grow up as bright, happy and successful people. What we get instead, as our children move into their second decade of life, is more neurotics ... self-centered, discontented, contemptuous, disrespectful, brats.

At some point, we might begin to realize that perhaps our own parents were not so dumb after all. Perhaps they actually did a better job of preparing us for the realities of life than we are doing with our own children, who will all too soon have to leave the nest and enter into a highly competitive world ... a place where there are no free lunches, and where most of the people they encounter will be indifferent or hostile towards them until they are able to win their affection or better opinion.

So then what?

It's not a matter of tightening the screws, or straightening your kid out. It's more a matter of getting your own act together. You wanted to be an exemplary parent, but you didn't know how to do it. Nobody ever taught you, and what you probably read from time to time provided all sorts of whacky theoretical and conflicting advice.

The answer is simple, and clearly a matter of common sense. Your kid is heading for an adult world which is quite unlike the environment of childhood. It's an utterly lonely, callously uncaring and highly competitive place. Your kid will need to have mastered four skills:

         • caring of himself physically and emotionally,
         • valuing and caring for his personal property and interests,
         • interacting successfully with other people, and
         • honoring his family ties.

The first three of these are the subjects of many books, including my book for boys; Mind Over Monster. The importance of family is not something that is as popular to write about these days. That's unfortunate, for two reasons.

         • First, raising generations without an appreciation of that truth has led to the demise of family through easy divorce and multiple marriages. The result is lonely and vulnerable grown-up children who find themselves with no refuge. That's terribly unfortunate because ...

         • Second, in an adult world which is utterly lonely, callously uncaring and highly competitive, family abides as a safe harbor where one can always find unconditional caring and love.

As kids grow up, they naturally seek increasing autonomy and independence. Knowing how much to yield, and when, is always a challenge for parents. But even when that's handled intelligently and fairly, peer relationships encourage teenagers to disparage and distance themselves from their family.

Here's an idea that will help deal with that.

Next time your kid screws up to the extent that you feel obliged to extract a penalty of some sort ... such as taking away their cell phone, ipod, computer privileges, the car keys, or whatever ... give them a quick and easy way to fix the situation. Edit and print this note:

If you wish to have your _______________ privileges restored, you may make three lists, as follows:

1. Benefits that you personally enjoy from being a member of this family, and our particular household.

2. Things you personally contribute to make life easier and happier in our home and family.

3. Other things you could do, if willing, to show your consideration for, and appreciation of others in your in your home and family.

When your three lists contain a total of one-hundred items, your privileges will be restored.

Most kids will think this is a lame, but easy, assignment, and ... depending upon how badly they want to get off the hook ... will promptly produce the requested lists. They'll be expecting a discussion, but surprise them. Don't bother. Accept the lists with a "Thank You" and fulfill your part of the bargain right then and there.

Then use your word processing skills to type up nicely formatted letter size versions of their three lists in a style suitable for framing. Go to Walmart, Hobby Lobby, or your local discount department store, and buy three cheap "certificate frames." Frame the lists, and hang them neatly on the wall in your kid's bedroom.

The lists do not constitute a "deal" of any sort ... not a contract to continue the thoughtful and considerate contributions your kid might already be making for the family, nor a promise to do anything more. They simply serve as a reminder that "family" is a cooperative institution where members faithfully and unconditionally support each other, and can be depended upon to rightfully give as much as they receive.

Nothing more need be said about them.

A Must-Have Book for Boys Only

2009-03-16T04:09:00.000-07:00

Everyone Wants Happiness And Success, Yet Few Ever Achieve It. Discover the Secrets Of The Self-Defeating Monster That Lurks Within You, And Learn How To Turn It Into A Servant That Gets You The Life Most Others Only Dream Of!”

What is it that prevents boys from winning the kind of life they want and deserve to have? Read on to find out …

But first, I have some important questions to ask you, and be honest with yourself here …

How many times have you asked yourself why not me? Have you ever figured out exactly how other people are able to so easily win what you find it so difficult to achieve? Have you ever thought "someone up there must not like me"?

Alone, rejected and disliked?

Are you still wondering how popularity and good luck come to some people as if they were born under a lucky star, while you struggle with relationships and things that seldom turn out favorably for you?

Do you know in your heart that you are just as smart and deserving as everyone else, yet somehow you can’t get off the ground to “soar with those eagles”?

Those questions used to drive me nuts when I was a boy, struggling to achieve, but always falling far short of a feeling that I was somebody.

Now, as a self-trained electronics engineer, successful corporate executive and officer, independent business owner, husband, father, grandfather, self-degreed intellectual and psychologist, author, and ordained minister ...

I can tell you my success in personal development did NOT come quickly or easily. In fact ...

I was a loaner and looser for what could
have been the best part of my life!

That's what drove me to achieve. I wanted to be somebody. But no matter what I achieved, it was never enough. I was often named "Outstanding ..." such-and-such, or head of this or that, but such honors never made me feel better inside.

I hated to be complimented, because a little voice inside always whispered that I really didn't deserve it. When anyone offered praise or recognition for something I'd done or achieved, accepting it made me feel like a liar.

I spent tons of time studying psychology, personality and human behavior, trying to figure out why I was different than everybody else. It didn't work. I learned a lot about what made other people tick, but somehow got the idea that I was different because I was special ... that the fates had some special purpose in store for my life. I avoided the pain of being imperfect by working all the time ... 14-hours a day, 7-days a week. No time for socializing or interacting with others.

Finally, when I was thirty-six, half-way through life, I was finally forced to face reality. I wasn't different, I was just a loaner, and a looser! I felt the best years of my life had been wasted, and were gone forever. I didn't want the other half. I didn't know how to make that any different than the first half.

I just wanted to die.

I was such a looser I didn't even have the guts to take my own life.

But I was such a looser I didn't even have the guts to take my own life. So, while sitting alone in my apartment crying, and although I wasn't religious and hadn't been in a church since I was a kid, I gave up, saying "God, I don't know how to change. If You can't change me, then just let me die!"

No, I'm not witnessing. And
this isn't turning into a sermon.

I didn't realize it at the time, but that was exactly the right thing to do. I finally got it through my head and faced up to the fact that the kind of thinking I'd been doing and the things I'd been believing all my life were powerfully destructive, and had gotten me to the dead-end I was at. And I was right in another way too ... at that point I had no idea what to believe or how to think.

I was finally able to see that many of my ideas and beliefs about myself and my place in the world were doubtful, or even dumb. I was not all powerful. I was not the center of the universe. Real men DO cry. It was okay not to be perfect. Accepting help and advice from others did not mean I was not as smart as them.

In his recent book by the same title, Christopher Kennedy Lawford calls these epiphanies Moments of Clarity. That is a good name for such experiences. Mine was enough to finally let me see myself for what I was, and open my mind to alternatives, and things began to change for the better immediately.

"So your point is ...?" you ask.

Did you get the part about my being thirty-six years old at the time? That's about the average age of the forty-three celebrities and highly achieving, but miserable, people who tell similar stories in Chris' book. We all threw away what could have been the best times of our lives on a bunch of neurotic nonsense.

I'm here to save you from that miserable waste of your life!

What is “success” and “happiness”?

You've heard it said, "Money can't buy happiness." Neither can what most people consider success. That's the mistake I was making. I thought I was restless and unhappy with myself because I was not successful and wealthy. I thought that if I worked hard enough to become successful and wealthy, I would then be happy. That didn't happen. I became more successful than I ever really dreamed of, and affluent at least, if not actually wealthy ... but when that didn't change the way I felt about myself, I was worse off than ever.

If you are happy with who you are, you will feel contented with your situation, whatever it is..

The fact is, it works just exactly the other way around ... if you are happy with who you are, you will feel contented with your situation, whatever it is. If you are a "common man," you will have a great life as a common man. If you turn out to be rich and famous, you will be happy in that role, never having any need to swallow a bottle of sleeping pills or to take a nosedive off the Golden Gate.

Feelings of happiness and success ... or failure and sadness ... are products of your mind. When you learn how to control your mind and keep its thinking sensibly rational, you will discover that life provides lots of reasons for good feelings, and that failures and sad situations need be little more than occasional bumps in the road.

You need to learn this while young!

Most people who think about such things think that process of getting screwed up, or not, begins during the first ten or fifteen years of life. The Monster thrives on stinkin' thinkin', and if you develop that habit during those early years, by the time you're passing through adolescence, the Monster will have become big and powerful enough to take charge of the rest of your life. Beyond that point, you will you will not be what you wish you were. You will be whatever you happen to become under the Monster's direction.

Does that sound crazy?

Do you think men like Adolph Hitler, Saloth Sar (a.k.a."Pol Pot") and other tyrants turn out the way they do by conscious choice? Would you believe that President Lyndon B Johnson decided not to run for a second elected term because he was convinced that most people didn't like him? Does Osama bin Laden's megalomaniac thinking and strategy make any sense at all?

What a shame ... that for lack of a little early guidance, all these lives are so troubled ... and cause so much unhappiness for others.

The Brain-Mind Duality

I was brought up to think, as most people did then, and many still do, that the brain and the mind are two separate and unique things. I thought of my brain as an electro-chemical hunk of meat, containing billions of nerve cells that worked according to the laws of physics, per some still-unknown processes. The mind, I thought, was the same as the spirit, a mysterious aspect of the psyche that controls personality, disposition, and emotions ... not physically connected to the body, probably immortal, and beyond one's conscious control.

I eventually learned that mind is a controllable and teachable brain function.

Mind is, in fact, the brain's most powerful function. If you don't take control of it, it'll take control of you. I've never seen a case where "Mind," left to its own devices, produced a good outcome. On the contrary, a mind left free to become whatever it will, invariably turns into a self-destructive Monster!

Is your mind less powerful than others?

You've probably heard someone say that most people use only ten percent of their brain. That's hogwash. The brain is a very busy place, with all sorts of things going on at the same time ... functions and operations we never even think of. Recent research suggests that all this activity is distributed all over your brain, rather than being controlled by particular regions.

If brains actually differ in capability, it doesn't make any difference, since they have so much more capability than anyone ever actually uses.

On the other had, if they had said most of us use only a tenth of our intellectual capacity, they might actually be right. Your brain is a massively complex and capable machine. If brains actually differ in capability, it doesn't make any difference, since they have so much more capability than anyone ever actually uses.

Most people think brain power can be measured by IQ tests. IQ tests don't measure much more than your ability to learn, and that depends a lot upon what you've already learned. People who appear to be smarter and brighter are simply people who have learned how to use their mind more effectively. Most of the time, that does not happen intentionally ... it just happens.

Maybe a kid happens to be the child of two highly educated and intellectual parents. Would it come as a big surprise if he acted mature beyond his age, and turned out to be the sort of person who loved to acquire knowledge? Of course not! But not all well-born kids turn out that way. It's not because there's anything wrong with their brain. It's more apt to be because they were raised as spoiled brats. They were never encouraged to emulate their parents, usually because the parents were too busy. Instead, they were given everything they wanted, and permitted to fritter away their time playing, or making a nuisance of themselves.

By the same token, a kid born to parents who are ordinary, or even dull, can excel. That often happens too, and when it does, people stupidly say, "That boy was gifted with a wonderful mind." Foolish poppycock! That boy's mind started out just like any other, with near-zero intellectual content. For whatever reason, he somehow just got into the habit of filling it up with quality material.

You can learn to do that too. It's not difficult, once you accept that you are capable of doing that, and understand how to do it.

What kind of a person are you, anyway?

That question can be summarized by describing your personality and your character. Here again, these are aspects of you that probably just happened. They are mostly behaviors and concepts

Your success and happiness in life will depend a lot upon your relationships with other people. There is no such thing as a self-made man.

that you learned after you were born, not ones you were born with.

Your success and happiness in life will depend a lot upon your relationships with other people. There is no such thing as a self-made man. How well you get along with others will depend mostly upon your personality and character. If you are a loaner, a bully, a crank, or otherwise unpleasant person, you will not be the sort of person others will want to help, and do nice things for. In fact, it sometimes works just the other way around, with pay-backs proving costly in terms of money and happiness.

Like any other learned thing, personality and character can be adjusted and polished. If you tend to rub people the wrong way, you can learn how to quit doing that. If you're just an average Joe, you can learn how to make yourself attractive enough that others will suddenly want to be around you, give you some breaks, and do nice things for you.

Dale Carnegie made a fortune teaching people how to do that, beginning in 1936 with his little book How to Win Friends and Influence People. That book is still in print, and has sold over 15-million copies. Obviously, his advice works. Develop the kind of personality and character that wins friends and influences people, and you'll find yourself steadily gaining altitude all throughout your life.

You can learn how to become that kind of person.

So, you want to be Popular, huh?

"Popular" is not something you can make yourself. Its something other people make you. Personality has something to do with it, but not all celebrities have great personalities. What they do have is a high Three A's ranking.

Never heard of the "Three A's"? Better learn quick if you really want to be popular. The Three A's describe how people will value you. They are attractiveness, affluence, and achievement (otherwise known as looks, money and power.)

Wait a minute! Before you go off in a pout because you don't have good looks, much money or any power, think about the other words ... attractiveness, affluence and achievement. No matter who you are, or what your situation is at this point in your life, you can become a person who is considered attractive, affluent and achieving. You just need to understand these concepts, the ways that other people see them, then change your act to give 'em what they want to see.

That's being phony? Not a all. You can object all you want, but that's the way it is. If you stubbornly

Do yourself, and everybody else, a favor, by becoming the person others want to look up to.

insist on being yourself and that people will just have to take you as your are, you might as well give up your dreams of popularity. It ain't gonna happen. On the other hand, you can do yourself, and everybody else, a favor, by becoming the person others want to look up to.

That's right ... "the person they want to look up to". You won't be fooling anybody. You'll be doing them a favor. People want to associate with popular people. That makes them feel just that much better about themselves. What's more, the more you act that way, the more you'll actually become the person you're acting like. In the end, it won't be an act at all!

You can learn how to do this, and it's important that you do. It's covered in detail in Chapter 5 of my book, one of the longest chapters in the book. The length of the chapter doesn't mean that it's difficult. The discussion is long, because I think this is so important to your happiness and success in life.

Not so good in school? Thinking about dropping out? You can easily do better ... it's not all about smarts!

Mind Over Monster is written for boys who are old enough to read, through high school age, so assumes that you are still in school. Perhaps you're a little older than that, and are struggling in college or tech school. Good News! Being a good student is a skill that can be learned too.

There's a lot more going on in classrooms than just learning.I'll tell you about that, and if you act upon what I tell you, your proficiency at "student" will take a quantum leap. Your grades are

There's a lot more going on in classrooms than just learning ... you can easily achieve a four-point-zero grade point average.

sure to jump by at least one full point. It you really take it to heart, you can easily achieve a four-point-zero grade point average.

Sounds magical?

Let me ask you this: Has anyone ever sat you down and taught you how to be a student?

Of course not. That never happens. But we expect kids to just magically be good in school anyway. How much sense does that make? The result is that a few do well. The rest scrape by, else after years of frustration, disappointment, criticism and failure, they drop out.

When I was about sixteen, I went deer-hunting up north with an older cousin and his best buddy. One night we got involved with my grandparents' neighbors, who were rather earthy people of the hillbilly persuasion. Out came the beer, and after a couple of brewskies they were all in the mood for some music and song. Someone sat down at an old upright piano, others fetched their guitars, fiddles and mandolins. Another person strapped on an accordion. When someone handed me a guitar, I held out my palms to refuse, explaining that I didn't know how to play a guitar. So she said, "Well, ya kin jist chord then." When I shrugged, shaking my head saying I didn't know how to do that either, they all stopped and looked at me in disbelief. "Ya' don't chord? Ever'body knows how'ta do thayt!" For the rest of the evening I was ignored. I guessed they really didn't believe me, and assumed that I was just being a stuck-up snob ... too good to play with them.

You have to learn how to play any musical instrument. That never comes naturally, or as a "gift." Neither does being a student. But schools treat kids who don't know how to be a student just about like my Grandma's hillbilly neighbors treated me. If you don't know how to do "student," you're simply dismissed as being stupid, lazy, irresponsible, oar delinquent.

I was a poor student, until my junior year in high school. Then I accidentally figured out some of the things I have to tell you. Even having figured out only a part of what I have to tell you, my grades went from E's, D's and C's, to B's and A's. My next eye-opener was in the U.S. Air Force's electronics schools. I started off very poorly there too. One instructor finally told me, "Warner, you're never going to make it in this career field." I was really embarrassed and irritated! I didn't like him much, and I'm sure he knew it. That probably prompted his remark, more than my poor performance. Anyway, I finally figured out how to ace Air Force tech school classes too, and wound up being the most proficient man in that career field on our base ... and even in the whole 2nd Air Division. I still have the certificates and framed letters of commendation on my office wall to prove it.

You can learn how to do school. And when you do, you'll love it!

You can learn how to do school. And when you do, you'll love it! Nothing's better for your ego than being at the head of the class.

... and More!

I hate business names that end with "& More!" I usually assume that really means, "and that's about it," else they aren't able to decide exactly what their business actually is.

But in this case there is more; lots more. In the last 2/3's of Mind Over Monster I talk about other stuff that often trips a boy up ... bad habits, sex, abuse and neglect, depression and suicide, and religion. Here's the Table of Contents. Check it out! ...

Mind Over Monster
Chapter 1	Introduction	1
Chapter 2	Mind or Monster?	11
Chapter 3	Your Beautiful Mind	21
Chapter 4	Personality	35
Chapter 5	The Three A's	51
Chapter 6	Straight A's	89
Chapter 7	Bad Habits	125
Chapter 8	Venery	147
Chapter 9	Abuse & Neglect	165
Chapter 10	Depression & Suicide	213
Chapter 11	A Practical Faith	225
Chapter 12	The Good Life	283
	Index	285

"What we obtain too cheap, we esteem to lightly. It is dearness only, that gives every thing its value."

Thomas Paine wrote that a couple hundred years ago. Too bad I didn't read his article before I got all carried away creating free websites for people when the World Wide Web first began. I was really just showing off; showing that I was able to do something few other people knew how to do at the time. My reward for being such a show-off was that most of those websites were soon being neglected, and were ultimately abandoned. That taught me that people don't put much value on things that come free.

I think the world could be a much better place if boys all learned about the things I talk about in Mind Over Monster ... while they are still boys. I'm so sure of that, that I sometimes think that if I was rich, I'd give every boy in the world a copy of my book for free!

Since I'm not rich, and since most of those boys wouldn't believe a free book was going to be worth making the effort to read, that idea is nonsense. But I still want to encourage you to take a chance on learning how to have a great life. So here's what I'm going to do.

I hate buying anything at the "long price." Like everybody else, I love a bargain. Getting a great price on something of value gives me a good feeling inside. So I'm going to knock some money off the barcode price of the book. I'm going to knock 20% off that price! Five bucks off gets it down to the next magic number ... $19.95!

Not good enough?

Okay ... nobody likes to get a discount, then get nicked for "shipping and handling," So how about FREE SHIPPING ! That's another four for five bucks saved. Total saved so far ... about ten bucks.

Still not good enough?

Okay, how about this - my young daughter is a big fan of Twilight; the movie about a "hot" young vampire's love life. She's seen the movie a couple of times and read all the books from cover to cover. I noticed that our older daughter also bought a "Twilight" bookmark with one of the books she gave as a Christmas gift. I thought it was really cool, then also thought "I bet I can make a bookmark like that for my book." So here it is! A genuine Mind Over Monster bookmark, with metal beads and a pearl cotton tassel. On the back side of the "Twilight" bookmark, it says "$3.95". Mine's better, because it's actually laminated in plastic, not just slipped into a vinyl sleeve. But, what the heck, I'm calling it "$2.95" anyway. Order my book here, and it'll come with the really "righteous" Mind Over Monster bookmark.

Still not good enough?

Sheesh! So far you're up to $12.95 ... that's more than half the barcode price of the book!

Okay ... Whatever! Here's more. Your book will come to you as a signed copy, sent to you with my best wishes!. Now, if you had an original copy of Dale Carnegie's book How To Win Friends and Influence People signed by Dale Carnegie himself, what would that be worth today?

How to get your copy right now!

I'd love to send you a copy of Mind Over Monster. You can pay me online with a check or credit card. Or print the order form and mail it with a check or money order. Just click one of these links ...

You can also find my book at your favorite bookseller ... online, in the mall or at your neighborhood book store. Shop around, and you might even find a better price at retail.

If you do, and still want my "really kewl" bookmark, send me a copy of your receipt and a SASE, and I'll send you one for FREE.

Final thought: "What Price Success?"

Someone once said, "Money isn't everything. But poverty isn't anything." Nevertheless, it's a simple fact: happy and successful people are apt to make a lot more money, whether they're in it for the money, or not. It's simple: happy and successful people are the kind of people others like have around ... the kind of people others see as high-value friends and colleagues.

Success is cheap. It's struggling, disappointment and failure that's costly. The difference between averaging minimum-wage earnings over a career because of low-paying jobs and frequent layoffs, and enjoying an occupation that offers a decent wage, can easily amount to more than a million dollars over a forty-year career.

If, because of reading my book, you wind up in the latter category, that will be a 62,000% pay-back on your original $20 investment! If you choose to read Mind Over Monster, and I hope you will, come back here, use the link below, and let me know how things worked out for you.

PS: Bulk discounts are available for school counselors, youth directors, and others serving in a mentoring capacity. Please write me for more information.

Fear of Hope

2009-03-11T14:28:00.000-07:00

Metathesiophobia is the clinical name invented for an irrational fear of change. In the extreme, a metathesiophibiacs experience trembling, cold sweats, nausea and even fainting when threatened with the possibility of change. That's rare, of course. I've never known anyone like that.

Far more ubiquitous is complacency ... the reality that people, indivdually and corporately, are inclined to maintain the status quo until a crisis forces change. For the seriously neurotic or addicted person, the consequences can be dire, as they are swept into a downward spiral that eventually ends in ruin or death. But for the average person, complacency merely stifles growth and retards development. They wind up stuck in their rut, as it were, passivly consigning themselves to life as they know it forever, dismissing possibilities and whatever personal potential they might have.

I have known lots of people like this. So have you. Perhaps you are one of them?

The Perils of "Rutophilia"

There's something to be said for constancy, of course. To be steadfact in purpose, love, loyalty or faithfulness is an important tool for anyone wishing to be successful in life. Impulsive change for the sake of change is apt to prove wastefully nonsensical. Learned skills and behaviors that are appropriate for persons and their situations have value which should not be dismissed on whims.

A fixed mode of life which is dull and unpromising is not steadfastness and has no value. It's a rut.

The narrower the thinking, the deeper the rut. The mind does not like ruts. As ruts deepen they limit peripheral awaremess, and possibilities pass by unnoticed. Lacking possibilities, feelings of futility eventually engender a reluctance to think about change. From within the depths of a rut, what the mind sees in the narrow view forward is nothing but more of the same. Minds become fearful of hope, because hope risks further disappointment, disenchantment and defeat.

The fear of hope deprives the mind of opportunities to do its thing, which leads to discouragement, depression, dementia, and ultimately death.

The Natural State of Mind

Minds are inquisitive and thrive on problem-solving. Minds love novelty and challenges. Minds need something positive to look forward to. Minds thrive on hope.

Should we wonder why adults worship youth? We're apt to attribute that to youth's energy, physical beauty, and budding sexuality, but it's not those things that the mind is fondly revisiting in its philoprogenic moments. Those things are not important to us in our youth; they're taken for granted and unappreciated. They're wasted on the young. They burn no indelible impressions in our minds.

In our youth, "our hearts were young and gay" ... our minds were free, and even encouraged to be inquisitive, to learn and to grow, to seek novelty, to imagine, and to believe in hope. In other words, our minds were free to play in their natural state. Our minds do not forget. In our adult years our tired and

The secret of health, happiness, and success in life is continuing personal growth.

disappointed minds therefore often yearn for those idyllic days of yore.

The secret of health, happiness, and success in life is continuing personal growth. Whether your purpose is pragmatic or romatic ... career development, or a love of all the wonderful things life has to offer ... growth is about letting your mind do what it loves to do ... to explore, to learn and to change. Learning and change inevitably suggest new possibilities, which is the essence of hopefulness and a satisfied mind.

In Search of the Good Life

Everyone wants the good life ... health, happiness, and success ... but few ever achieve it until late in life, if at all.

So what's up with that?

The answer is simple. Many people think (if indeed they think about it at all) that the good life comes naturally, or not ... that it's a matter of genetics, karma, or personality. Others feel that it's a matter of entitlement; that if they're not enjoying the good life, its because they're being wrongfully deprived.

Few ever learn the secret of health, happiness and success. It's not about happenstance, it's not about entitlement, and it's not difficult to achieve. It comes easily, but you have to make an effort. You begin by realizing that life is

Life's journey is full of rewards for the person who looks expectantly ahead with a hopeful heart.

a journey of exploration that begins when you're pooped out of the womb, and ends when you're popped into the grave. Along the way as you go merrily rejoicing between these two events, beautiful and intriguing discoveries await you ... surprises and adventures that are infinite in number and variety. Life's journey is full of rewards for the person who looks expectantly ahead with a hopeful heart. You need only walk along life's pathway with an inquisitive mind; one that is open to new ideas and eager to embrace new opportunities.

Whatever your age or position in life, be your mind's friend. Let your mind be itself, and go along hand-in-hand to the places it'll take you. Then you will most certainly be blessed with the good life ... forever.

A Homemade Cough Remedy That Works

2009-03-04T18:36:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year again. The bug strikes, and is dispatched within a few days by your immune system. But then weeks of annoying coughing ensue.

The caging spells are intermittent, but are sure to come at the worst possible moments. They begin as soon as you crawl into bed a night, robbing you of the rest you so sorely need. You just know it's going to happen during the quiet of the church service, or in the midst of an important meeting. It's sure to happen on the bus, train or airplane, giving your fellow passengers to shun you like a pariah who is spewing the air with disease.

Whatever happened to Cheracol, that wonderful cherry-flavored cough syrup that actually worked? Answer: After years of over-the-counter availability, the FDA decided that small doses of Codeine (Cheracol's morphine-like cough-suppressing ingredient) were dangerously addicting, and this popular remedy became a "Schedule V" drug under the Controlled Substances Act of 1970. It was taken off the shelves ... a casualty of the Nixon "War On Drugs." Rules vary somewhat among the states. For a while Cheracol with Codeine was available upon request at most pharmacies. But evidently druggists, at least in this area (West Michigan), eventually got tired of messing with purchase logs, and quit dispensing it, offering "Cheracol D" (Dextromathorphan or "DXM") as an equally effective alternative (it isn't).

Now the FDA and DEA are wringing their hands about teenage abuse of Dextromathorphan. To get a "high" with DXM (a.k.a. "DM", "robo", "rojo", and "velvet") a kid would have to down 250 to 1,500 milligrams ... that's up to three eight ounce bottles of icky-tasting cough syrup. Provided that the adventure isn't spoiled by puking the stuff up (a rather common reaction), the initial effect is similar to mild inebriation, which a kid with any sense could better achieved ... and much less expensively ... by chugalugging a couple of Dad's beers.

I've found that DXM-based cough remedies actually will work, but not at the usual recommended dosage. If you're going to try this stuff, read the label on all the bottles on the shelf, paying attention to the Dextromathorphan content per recommended dose. Buy the "extra-strength" product with the highest per dose content. Better yet, rather then drinking lots of that awful stuff, consider a cold remedy such as Coricidin (30mg per tablet).

Here's another idea; forget the drugs and make your own inexpensive preparation using ingredients found in your own kitchen. No warnings - no side-effects. The recipe is supposedly from India, but most websites credit the book Herbally Yours by Penny C. Royal, 3rd Edition, June 1982. Not only does this simple preparation seem to be very effective as a cough remedy, a dose just before bedtime also seems to promote a good night's sleep. Although this magical elixir has a little bite, and the taste leaves something to be desired, it's probably no less palatable than commercial preparations.

Here are the ingredients:

	1 part cayenne pepper (1 teaspoon)
	1 part ground ginger (1 teaspoon)
	12 parts honey (4 Tablespoons)
	12 parts apple cider vinegar (4 Tablespoons)
	24 parts water (8 Tablespoons)

Combine the water and vinegar, and warm it to coffee or tea temperature to promote easy mixing. Add a little of the warmed liquid to the cayenne pepper and ginger and stir. Add the honey and the remaining warmed liquid, and mix thoroughly. The measurements given in parenthesis make eight liquid ounces. A typical adult dose is one tablespoon (1/2-ounce), so an eight-ounce bottle is good for sixteen doses. Since the ingredients are all natural, there's no need to worry about overdoses. The mixture will quickly separate, so always shake well before using. Refrigeration is not required.

Enjoy!

Climate Change - It's A Good Thing!

2009-03-02T09:19:00.000-08:00

o they teach kids folk tales like "Chicken Little" any more? Or fables like Hans Christian Andersen's "The Emperor's New Clothes?" In the pursuit of status and titles, basic life skills have been denigrated in favor of higher education and academic degrees.

Pundits, like Chicken Little, catastrophize, reciting all the prospective terrors of global warming, and blame mankind ... namely mankind in the developed countries ... and mainly the United States ... for causing the terrible cataclysm to come. Governments around the world have been worried into throwing billions of dollars into the urgent task of halting the spew of "greenhouse gases" into the atmosphere ... namely carbon dioxide. Meanwhile, anyone who has the bad manners to question the "science" driving this hysteria is dismissed with a vehemence and viciousness similar to that heaped upon "Holocaust deniers."

Folk tales like Chicken Little and fables like The Emperor's New Clothes were traditionally passed on to yesteryear's children as a learning exercise; not merely as entertainment. Kids soon learned to expect the question, "Now, what's the moral of this story?" And, indeed, such stories always made a point. They were a practical and highly successful way of teaching children some fundamental life skills … the stuff we call common sense and emotional intelligence.

Unfortunately, in today's educationally snobbish culture, nothing counts but the utterances of a "professional." Common sense is disrespected. Understandably so, perhaps. After having paid big bucks for a college degree, it's difficult to accept that a high school dropout well grounded in basic life skills might actually have a better handle on life.

And so on to the new holocaust … "Global Warming."

Famine and Pestilence - Wars and Rumors of Wars

I was brought up in a God-fearing family, and was therefore well indoctrinated with the idea that humankind is so fundamentally sinful that God gets sufficiently angered now and then to decide to just erase everything and start over. Last time around, as the legend goes, he flooded the whole earth, drowning everyone and everything, except for what Noah saved in his ark. I also learned that rainbows appear as a sign of God's promise that he'll never again vent His rage in that way. Sweet! ... Except our Sunday school teachers hinted that the next time around it would be fire, instead of flood. Being thus indoctrinated, we God-fearing persons, who constitute the majority of the human population, are therefore predisposed to believe in the global warming doomsday hype … that our wanton material gluttony will prove our undoing, and we will die in the heat of the planet we destroyed.

We seem to like doomsday-speak. During my life it's been one doomsday scare after another.

First it was World War II, where civilization as we knew it was at risk of being taken over and destroyed by those hatefully atheistic Nazi Huns, sexually insane gooks, and nutty Fascist wops. As kids in Traverse City, Michigan, we were frightened almost to death by air raid sirens and black-outs. "In Traverse City, Michigan?" you ask. Yes; it was ridiculous. In the early 1940's, enemy bombers were not that range capable, and even if they were, why would they waste expensive ordnance on a backwater place like Traverse? The propagandists claimed that they would be using city lights as landmarks, and commercial radio stations as navigation aids along the way to the strategically important Soo Locks. The propaganda also claimed righteous indignation; that the allies were totally innocent and the axis powers were totally evil. And so, the world chose up sides, ganging up on each other in an adventure that ultimately killed some 72-million people as we kids walked along sidewalks chanting, "Step on a crack; break Hitler's back." or singing, "Whistle while you work, Hitler is a jerk, Mussolini bent his weenie - now it doesn't work!"

"The Russians Are Coming!"

Having not-so-neatly dispatched that calamity, next came the Communist hysteria. These wicked and subversive nut jobs, zombie-like disciples of a creepy Vladimir Lenin and the evil Joseph Stalin, were bent on infiltrating every aspect of American life, and eventually taking over the whole world.

That reached a crescendo with Senator Joe McCarthy's infamous "investigations." Many influential institutions and personalities were sucked into the vortex McCarthy created, including the FBI, the House Un-American Activities Committee, the Catholic Church, the American Legion, the Kennedy family, and a young upcoming Richard Nixon.

A widely popular weekly television program during the mid-1950's called I Led Three Lives, which provided weekly, high-fictionalized episodes in the exciting, dangerous, and heroic life of Herbert Philbrick, an advertising executive who infiltrated the Communist Party as an undercover agent for the FBI, did much to promote McCarthy's cause with the general public. Eventually, anyone who dared doubt McCarty or question his witch-hunt was a risk of being fingered as a Communist sympathizer, "fellow traveler", or an outright Communist. After having destroyed the careers of many notables, McCarthy's rants about Communist infiltration in the highest offices of the government and the military … even accusing the Democratic Party of "twenty years of treason" … it became clear that the Senator's uncontrolled appetite for alcohol had evidently finally pickled his brain, and his colleagues finally voted to clip his wings.

But, not to worry … the next crisis was already at hand.

Mutually-Assured Destruction

Those damned Rosenberg's and their in-laws and friends had stolen our nuclear secrets and passed them on to "Uncle Joe" (Stalin). Those arch-evil Communists in the Soviet Union popped their first mushroom cloud, code-named "Joe 1," in late 1949, and the Cold War was on. As the McCarthy thing died, we began building bomb shelters in earnest, and us kids became unofficial members of the "Civil Air Patrol," constantly searching the skies for "Reds" (Russians in bombers). We just knew those evil, prisyka dancing vodka drinkers in the USSR were bent on taking over the whole world and converting it all to Communism.

The Cold War turned into an Arms Race, with each side scurrying to develop and manufacture ever more powerful nuclear devices. The A-bomb turned into the H-bomb, and even a Q-bomb was rumored … a small, but much more powerful device which somehow killed all the people without destroying their property. After twenty years of this madness, the doom sayers were ranting that we had developed enough nuclear explosive devices to destroy the planet, and were on the verge of doing so.

"I do not know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
- A. Einstein

However, most practical people realized that the Soviet Union already had a full plate and was probably not really interested in taking over the world any more, and perhaps never were. Furthermore, by this time both the US and USSR had settled in to a defense strategy called "MAD" … Mutually Assured Destruction … both having far more than enough firepower to wipe out the other on a moment's notice, making any "first strike" highly improbable, even with lunatics in charge of the buttons. Meanwhile, some scientists began to point out that the power of the world's combined nuclear arsenals were puny in comparison to nature's potential fury, which is occasionally unleashed as earthquakes, tsunamis, and volcanic eruptions … catastrophes that do happen from time to time, yet life goes on.

In a characteristic display of bad judgment, the American people, in 1980, decided to replace a sitting President with a movie actor. As luck would have it, that turned out to be a good thing, since Ronald Reagan, in a refreshing display of common sense, decided to fight fire with fire in dealing with the Soviets. Taking the arms race to the next level, which became know as the Star Wars initiative … intercepting and blowing up Soviet missiles in space well before they could reach their targets … he essentially drove the USSR into bankruptcy in their frantic effort to keep up. By the end of his Presidency in 1989, the Soviet Union was crumbling, and the Cold War was over.

Ozone Depletion - NASA's Folly

What next? Oh, my God there's a gaping hole in the ozone layer! We're all going to go blind and die of skin cancer! Those mad scientists and greed-crazed corporate magnates at Frigidaire, DuPont, and General Motors, the inventors, makers and distributors of Freon … chlorofluorocarbons or CFC's; the stuff used in air conditioners and aerosol cans … were the primary villains here.

The real culprit turned out to be NASA. Struggling to preserve its budget as interest in space exploration waned and interest in environmental science waxed, NASA mistakenly interpreted some unexpected findings of its TOMS (Total Ozone Mapping Spectrometer) program and exuberantly published the bogus results.

This new crisis came just in time. Environmentalists were giddy, and the doomsayers had something new to ring their hands over. All the hype led to the famous Montreal Protocol in 1987, an international agreement restricting the production and use of ozone-depleting chemicals, mainly CFC's.

But eventually more rational thinking in NASA evidently began to surface, with the space agency having the bad manners to begin hedging its bets … reporting that the hole in the ozone layer was,

"As usual, once the cat was out of the bag, the experts and doomsayers quietly crawled back into the woodwork."

on average, more or less constant and predictable, varying with the seasons. But they continued to defensively assert that it was a new phenomenon, and caused by hydrogen fluoride released into the stratosphere through the use of man-made CFC's. Other scientists found it curious that the hole appeared over the South Pole, whereas most emissions of man-made gases occur in the Northern Hemisphere. Worse yet, other climatologists pointed out Antarctica's Mt. Erebus spews some 150,000 tons of hydrogen fluoride directly into the Antarctican stratosphere each year, whereas the breakdown of man-made gases world-wide would theoretically account for only about 2,500 tons at most.

And so, the multi-billion dollar direct and indirect cost imposed upon world economies by bureaucrats who became believers in bad science and who bowed to zealous environmentalism, amounts to nothing less than a silly, wildly impulsive intention to play God … to take control of a natural planetary phenomenon far beyond our poor powers to do anything about. As usual, once the cat was out of the bag, the experts and doomsayers quietly crawled back into the woodwork. Isn't it funny … we don't hear much about the ozone hole anymore.

"C-yo-tu" and Kyoto

But wait … there's an all-new crisis, and just in time.

It's Climate Change (a.k.a. "Global Warming"). There will be terrible droughts, wildly inclement and destructive weather, the glaciers will all melt, flooding coastal regions and destroying places like New York, Los Angeles, the Netherlands, and what not.

This "silly science" dates back to French mathematician Joseph Fourier who, about 185-years ago, was able to calculate that the planet's average temperature seemed to be slowly increasing. He thought the temperature rise was probably due to the earth's atmosphere trapping solar radiation and reflecting it back to the earth. About seventy years later, Swedish scientist Svante Arrhenius theorized that this phenomenon was mainly the result of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, and he coined the phrase "greenhouse gas." In the 1950's, English amateur scientist G..S. Callendar took an interest in the field, resurrecting the carbon dioxide theory and insisting that the greenhouse effect was dramatically impacting the atmosphere of the Earth. For his efforts, he won a place in science with global warming now being known in scientific circles as the Callendar Effect.

That really got the ball rolling. As average temperatures continued to slowly increase, other scientists got involved, and with new and improved high-tech instrumentation and hardware, they discovered lucrative new fields for research. As usual, this also came as good news to environmentalists and bureaucrats. It wasn't long before a coalition of scientists, environmentalists and bureaucrats decided that a United Nations Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) would be a great idea. That led to yet another big environmental powwow, and another international agreement similar to the Montreal Protocol, this time called the Kyoto Protocol.

After all the hubbub, it turns out that CO₂ is a relatively minor member of the greenhouse gas family. The big Kahuna … the elephant in the room, as it were … is H₂O. That's right; water vapor. The air is full of it, as any practical person knows. Greenhouse gases actually comprise only a small part of the atmosphere, and of this small part, over three-quarters is usually water vapor.

"Scientists who pay attention to history understand that global temperatures have fluctuated rather cyclically over the eons, and to much more extreme levels that what’s being worried about today."

It now appears that Fourier's original conjecture was wrong. Scientists who pay attention to history understand that global temperatures have fluctuated cyclically over the eons, and to much more extreme levels that what's being worried about today. It further appears that these fluctuations coincide perfectly with solar activity … sun spots, in other words. One explanation is that the earth is continually showered with cosmic rays which promote cloud formation through ionization of the atmosphere. This shower is modulated by the solar wind and is significantly attenuated during periods of intense solar activity, The result is fewer, and less dense clouds, which permits more of the sun's energy to reach Earth's surface, and hence periods of greater warmth. This theory is rabidly refuted, of course, and others suggest different ways to explain the relationship between solar activity and the Earth's temperature. But, regardless of the mechanism, these facts seem clear: (1) global temperatures have varied rather widely for as far back as researchers can measure (millions of years), and (2) the variations are cyclical and correspond rather precisely with the activity of the four primary solar cycles.

These should be facts enough for anyone with a little common sense to conclude that the current hysteria is the outgrowth of hype generated by bad science and science aficionados in the environmentalist community. Yet, here again we have governments around the world squandering the fruits of our labor … billions of tax dollars … in a senseless and futile effort to control Mother Nature. The situation spirals far beyond reason as researches begin to chase after those dollars, mindful of the reality that the spigot will likely be turned off if they fail to deliver what bureaucrats are paying for … evidence that corroborates their bad judgment.

What makes this particular saga pathetically ironic is the knowledge that, as far back as recorded history goes, human progress, in terms of intellectual and economic advancement … "Good Times," in other words … have coincided with epochs of increasing global temperatures. As a matter of fact, Callendar's attitude was positive, thinking that this slight warming process would be a good thing. So, not only is there no valid reason to fear these natural warming cycles, there is legitimate historic reason for the human race to look forward to them … much like those of us in the non-tropical latitudes greet springtime's dispatch of a long, cold winter!

Goodbye Warming - Hello Meltdown!

As luck would have it, something did indeed melt down, but it wasn't the polar ice caps. It was the worldwide economy. Thank goodness! Now we have a new reason to wring our hands and rent our garments … and just in time! This crisis should be good for at least another two years, and some say ten. Kiss climate change goodbye.

As usual, government is charging ahead, hell bent on pointing fingers and solving the wrong problems. The current economic flame-out is not really the result of banking and mortgage misbehavior, but rather the legacy wrought by the past several decades of government's micromanagement and misadventure. That has arisen from the silly philosophy that government is responsible for solving all our problems, and that any problem can be resolved by passing a law. In 1854, Abraham Lincoln ... then a lawyer in Springfield, Illinois ... wrote this:

"The legitimate object of government is to do for the people what needs to be done, but which they can not, by individual effort, do at all, or do so well, by themselves."

Perhaps the culprits have really been us. When I was a teenager in the 1950's, when bad things happened people often muttered, "There ought'a be a law!" Proving yet again the truism, "be careful what you wish for," we now have laws and government regulations for just about everything. Not only has that become very costly, it has destroyed American manufacturing, the only sector of our economy that actually creates value.

Lincoln also said ...

"I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts."

Indeed, like all the other crises mentioned above, the present economic "crisis" will pass ... not because of what the government does, but in spite of it.

Don't Worry - Be Happy!

This review of doomsdays that never came to pass should teach us to think for ourselves and respect our own common sense. Titles like "professional," "scientist," and phrases like "government report," do on lend information a godlike status of credibility. Human beings, regardless of educational or vocational achievement, always remain fallible, our works and utterances always subject to review and amendment. A knowledge of this is the beginning of wisdom.

The next time someone tries to worry you about the dire consequences of climate change, the economic melt-down, or whatever pseudo-crisis comes next, remember the tale of Chicken Little. The world is a complex place. Human minds are fallible and easily jump to conclusions based upon the evidence at hand. Beyond that point, they tend to interpret new evidence as needed to support what they already believe to be true. Thus is flawed thinking easily expanded and perpetuated

Human minds are also emotional machines. When you are criticised for not being a believer, remember the saga of The Emperor's New Clothes. Passions frequently overwhelm reason. Understanding this, and being capable of, and willing to, set facts apart from emotion, is the mark of emotional intelligence, and the hallmark of real leadership.

In the final analysis, all things do indeed seem to work together for good. Not only did none of these situations deliver the worst-case consequences projected, they rather quickly melted into history, with life going on, eventually bigger and better than ever before. History shows that over the long term, optimism is always appropriate.

Fix Your Own Seat Belt Stop Buttons

2009-01-02T09:25:00.000-08:00

Seat belt stop buttons prevent the free-sliding latch plate tongue of lap/shoulder belts on GM cars from falling all the way to the bottom when belt is not in use. The two-piece plastic buttons are installed by simply pushing the button pin through the seat belt webbing, then snapping the back piece on.

Unfortunately, the plastic buttons break off easily. Although they’re easy to replace, replacements are usually difficult to find, and are usually unreasonably priced; around $7.50 when found in auto parts stores, and twice that much when ordered from dealers.

After spending upwards of $50 repeatedly replacing broken buttons, then finding them out of stock in all of the local auto parts stores, I decided to stop wasting my time and money, and to get more innovative and resourceful.

You can come up with a better stop button by going to The Home Depot’s “Hardware” isle and finding these items:

     • #8 Hinged Screw Cover
         (UPC 0 30599 89828 2)
     • #6-32 x ¼” Screw
     • #6-32 Hex Nut

The hinged screw covers are usually available only in white, black or tan, so pick the best match for your belt. Any kind of screw and nut will do. The picture shows stainless steel hardware, with Phillips head screws.

It’s usually easy to find the location of the missing buttons, since they usually leave an indentation in the belt webbing. Look for it about 16-inches from the bottom of the belt, or approximately mid-way up the seat back.

Use an awl, ice-pick or sharpened pencil to poke through the hole created by the original plastic button to open it up a little. That will make it easier to find, and to push the 6-32 screw through.

Insert a screw through one of the hinged covers and push it though the hole in the belt. Use a second hinged cover on the back side of the belt; to cover the hex nut. Hold the nut while tightening the screw, then snap the caps closed.

All done. That will probably be the last time you’ll need to fix your seat belts, and the you’ll have spent less than a buck.

A Simple, Practical Control System for Ceramic Kilns

2008-11-18T09:52:00.000-08:00

Grand Haven, MI -- Nov 15, 2008 -- Free booklet tells how combining "obsolete" controls provides equally good results at a fraction of the cost of "high tech" solutions.

Happiness and success in kiln firing means consistently achieving good results from low cost, easy to use equipment that operates reliably and efficiently. Too good to be true? Not at all! The key to that kind of happiness has been commonly available for years.

The KilnSitter® was invented in the 1950’s by Wilfred P Dawson, a theater film projectionist whose wife was a ceramics artist. Thousands of these units have been used over the past half-century, in all sorts of settings and with consistently good results. The KilnSitter uses a special pyrometric cone to regulate firings, much as a person would mind their kiln manually. When the cone bends, the firing is considered complete and the control trips the kiln off. Nothing could be simpler. Over the years this ingenious little device has saved people millions of hours of kiln-sitting.

The KilnSitter does not regulate the early stages of kiln firing however. That was a problem since in order to get to very high temperatures, electric kilns have lots of heating capacity, and are capable of drastic temperature rises when beginning from room temperature. FireRight provided a solution for this problem many years ago with simple controllers designed to regulate the turn-up process. Today’s implementation is called the “AutoMate II Automatic Kiln Switch.” Used in combination, the KilnSitter and the AutoMate II provide a completely automated solution, proven through years of experience, and at a fraction of the cost of programmable digital controls being offered today.

Warner Instruments has manufactured controls for ceramics and pottery kilns since 1976, under the KilnTroller and FireRight brand names. The booklet is free at www.fireright.com.

Gene Warner - FireRight Controls
Ph: 616-843-5342
Email: info1@fireright.com
Web: www.fireright.com

Reunions and the Popcorn Years

2008-08-19T11:24:00.000-07:00

I was never a fan of High School reunions. I was never sociable in my teenage years. As a strategy for staying away from home as much as possible, I worked all the time, and in jobs where I learned how to behave like an adult in order to interact successfully with adults. On returning to school each fall, I'd feel like a stranger in a foreign land. Coming back out of an adult world, I didn't share the usual teenage interests, so it was hard to relate to most of the other kids. They all seemed so ... childish. Their usual take on this was that I seemed so ... aloof. To me, other kids were mostly juvenile and boring; to them, I was a stuck up odd-ball. Hence, I made very few friends among my classmates - I thought.

What reason would there be for me to go to a class reunion?

This year was our 50th high school class reunion. I didn't participate. I had other obligations anyway, so that provided a convenient excuse. The real reason was the archaic feelings and perceptions left over from fifty years ago - all the awkward moments, the feelings of being different, of being on the outside looking in, of not really belonging or being accepted as part of the group. I never cared to revisit any of that. (More truthfully, I probably always feared that.)

But then, I got the bright idea of developing a class reunion website template and giving it away for free to promote a couple of my not-so-best-selling books. Part of that template was a "Remembrance" page. Building the prototype around my own high school class, I discovered that so far, forty-two of my former 270-some classmates have a spot on that page. Some I never knew, and others I barely knew.

But then there were the others.

I remembered Dawn, a flippant, flirty girl who often volunteered a teasing conversation with me in classes and hallways, in spite of my lowly place in the pecking order. Evidently, she saw something in me that I didn't know was there. I remember her as a fun person who frequently made me feel comfortable in that otherwise seemingly hostile environment.

Janice was a twin. I went all through school, beginning in the grades, with she and her look-alike sister. They were quiet. In the lower grades, when one became ill and vomited on her disk, so did the other. They were twins, after all.

Jim; good-looking and having an engaging way of always looking surprised and interested in what was going on. Peter, the son of some city fathers, and trying to carry on in that tradition. He married a girl I thought I was in love with in the Second Grade. Brent, the athlete, but crippled and doomed to never succeed in spite of credible athletic abilities. Then Perry; a rather strange and quiet boy who didn't seem to fit in - like me, maybe.

Then there was Albert, known as "Pug." I don't know why, except that his dad was also named Al. I knew him forever. As little boys we used to swap night-overs. His Dad took me to the first football game I'd ever seen. Sitting there on the side of the hill at Green Hill Field, I stupidly kept calling the guys in the black and white stripes "umpires." They thought that was funny. It turned out that I would know Al senior until the day he died. When we were operating our family manufacturing business, Pug's dad provided us with electrical maintenance supplies, and stopped by frequently. I think the last time I saw Pug was at my Dad's funeral. He was then called "Al."

Jane, William, Arlan - I really didn't know them at all. Dennis was almost a neighborhood kid, but lived just outside the boundaries of what we considered "our neighborhood," and inside the borders of a somewhat rougher territory. He seemed like a "boy's boy" who would grow up to be a "man's man." I think his parents were divorced, which was not a common thing then. Kids from "broken homes" were expected to be difficult. When I eventually got to know Denny a little better, I was surprised to discover that he was not all "tough kid." I liked him.

Sharon I was barely acquainted with; only knew her by name. Jerry stands out in my memory as an example of the perfect personality conflict. He and I somehow got along, although our ways of thinking about things were always different, and usually diametrically opposite. I don't know why, or why we got along in spite of that.

Jay; didn't know him. Always seemed like trouble, I don't know why. Then Bob - cripes! Bob is gone? I didn't know that. He was always a happy, highly personable type, as a kid and as an adult. I've passed him so many times in the past few years, usually at the Post Office, and that always left me with a good feeling - pleased that he'd recognize me with a smile and a greeting. After all, he was one of the "popular kids."

And on, and on, through Charles, my "smart kid" childhood playmate; Sig, who I really didn't know real well in high school, but who, years later, always somehow recognized me on the street, down to Durrell, another one who quietly slipped away; we often bumped into one another at the supermarket, and he'd always somewhat sheepishly say hello. He was like me; not one of the "popular kids."

These are all people whom I thought I didn't know - whom I thought I had little in common with. Going back through the forty-two pictures, I count twenty-one who were actually special to me in one way or another. Exactly half.

Somebody once wrote -

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven … For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

I guess this is what he was talking about. These memories are indeed treasures - "golden" dividends of a person's investment in life. Opening this box to revisit one's treasures brings special feelings to the heart that somehow make life seem worth its trials and troubles after all. Meanwhile, if one does not dwell on the mud and lumps of coal, memories of unpleasant things inexorably sink deeper and deeper into the psyche, becoming ever more difficult to fetch back up.

What an ass I've been about class reunions!

Here's yet another example of the adage, "Ve get too soon olt, und too late schmardt!" Only now, at the twilight of my life, I've finally figured out what reunions are all about. I passed up fifty opportunities to polish some golden pieces of my life. Now many of those will have to remain as they are, perhaps somewhat tarnished with this new regret.

It took me a couple of days to put the Remembrance page together, using the class reunion's information, the SSDI (death index), and scanning portraits from the old high school yearbook. During that process, some very strong feelings about our human situation arose, bringing to mind from some corner of my memory the poignant truths of an old song written by Earl Wilson Jr:

We laugh, we cry, we live, we die;
And when we're gone, the world goes on.
We love, we hate, we learn too late;
How small we are, how little we know.

We hear, we touch, we talk too much,
Of things we have no knowledge of.
We see, we feel, yet can't conceal,
How small we are, how little we know.

See how the time moves swiftly by;
We don't know how, we don't know why.
We reach so high, and fall so low;
The more we learn, the less we know.

Too soon the time to go will come.
Too late the will to carry on.
And so we leave too much undone.
How small we are how little we know.

Then I got thinking about popcorn.

Somebody takes a handful of corn kernels and puts them into a bag. A little grease is added to facilitate the process, and a little flavoring, to improve the final product. This goes into the microwave for about four minutes. In a little while, there's a single pop, then a few moments later, another. During the first couple of minutes nothing much happens as that happy group of seeds turns round and round with the microwaves shining on them; just the occasional pop of the odd one, which for reasons unknown succumbs to the heat and pressure before all the rest. Then, in the third minute, all hell begins to break loose. Another pop, then another and another, popping in pairs, and finally an explosion of activity!

Then a few, a couple, a single pop or two - in four minutes, it's all over.

Classmates seem like a handful of humanity that, through happenstance, wind up in the same bag. We get a little upbringing and education in hopes of greasing our paths as we revel in the sunshine of life. Then there's the first pop. In our class that happened forty-eight years ago. A year after that came the second pop, then six years later yet another. Now, as my classmates and I are all pushing seventy, there are lots of pops. There will be lots of new pictures coming to my Remembrance page now; perhaps even my own.

In four score years, it'll be all over for us.

Is this aspect of life not like a bag of popcorn? Its duration is four score years, rather than four minutes, but its life story seems the same. I never could see why anyone would call these "The Golden Years."

I think "The Popcorn Years" is a caption more apt.

--=glw=-

A Simple Class Reunion Website Design – FREE

2008-08-14T13:23:00.000-07:00

I’ve noticed that there aren’t a lot of high school class reunion websites. I suppose that’s because classes only have one reunion a year. Why bother with a website – and who’ll pay for it?

Nevertheless, since I graduated from Grand Haven High School, there have been fifty other graduating classes. You’d think someone in some of those classes would be interested in putting up a site and maintaining it just as a hobby. You can do that these days for less than the cost of dinner for two, or a tank of gas. And unlike those two pastimes, tinkering around with a Class Reunion website can provide hours of entertainment and fun. Besides that, as the “Class Webmaster,” (albeit self-appointed) you’d probably get a seat at the head table – right up there with the Class President, Secretary, and all those former “preppies” who snubbed you in the old days.

I hate ClassMates.Con (oops! – I meant “.Com,” of course). They keep sending me messages about all my old classmates who are eager to check out my profile and get together, with invitations to come to the site and see who they are. Then when I go there they meet me at my home page with their hand out – pimping their site with a “Choose Gold!” button. They’ll tell me who “Friend X” is and let us get together for $59 – their “best value.”

Best value? I’m dubious. I can do a lot better than that over on the corner of Hall and Division in Grand Rapids. And I’d even get to see the merchandise first. And, she’d probably even lie to me and tell me I was “hot” for an old guy.

So, I thought a good way to pimp my books might be to build a class reunion website template and give it away for free. The catch is that in order to go live with it, a person would be smart to read Chapter 9 of my book Solutions for Secretaries of Small NPO’s, but then, you can read that for free on Google if you can stand reading books on a screen. I don’t like to do that, and I hope others hate it too, and will therefore decide to pop for the price of the book (hint: it's discounted at amazon.com, barns&noble.com, etc.) Even if they don’t, they’ll maybe stumble across my author/publisher website, so my small but growing library might get a little exposure.

My class reunion website is Spartan and “user friendly.” Rather than cluck about all its virtues, I’ll just point you towards my real, live online example – www.ghhs58.org. Go there and browse around, and if that encourages you to put up a similar site for your class, the link to the freebie is at the bottom right-hand side of the GHHS58 home page. You’ll find the download in the SfS site’s “Examples/Downloads” area. Inside the downloaded ZIP file you’ll find a README text that’ll get you started and walk you thorough the process up to the point of launch.

C’mon – give it a shot. If you’re smart enough to get here and read this, you know all you have to know to handle the project. Quite whining and making excuses. Just do it!

-=glw=-

P.S.: In case you missed it, here's the link to the download page.

Book Helps Small Nonprofits Build Better Images

2008-08-04T19:16:00.000-07:00

A guide for nonprofit corporate secretaries and administrative assistants. Learn how to build a first class image on a third rate budget.

GRAND HAVEN, MI--AUGUST 20, 2007-- A new comprehensive guidebook for volunteer secretaries of small nonprofit organizations provides solutions for the dilemma that often stymies small organizations; while little money can be allocated for administrative functions and image-building, weakness in these areas restrains success and growth by limiting volunteer interest and fundraising effectiveness.

Solutions for Secretaries of Small NPO's covers everything from how to form a nonprofit corporation and receive IRS recognition without expensive professional assistance, to governance and parliamentary best practices, fundraising, membership recruitment and retention, volunteer recruitment, and practical approaches to the development of low cost but highly effective desktop publishing and graphics arts capabilities.

The SfS guide is supported by a companion website, with an extensive collection of free downloads, including templates for documents and forms, layouts for desktop publishing projects such as newsletters, patterns for graphic arts projects, and even a fully developed membership database application. The website also hosts a forum where readers can discuss issues and share ideas with the author and each other.

Author Gene Warner has worked as a self-trained, self-employed electronics engineer/entrepreneur for over thirty years. Having also served on boards and committees of small nonprofit organizations, he lends his experience as a practical and resourceful innovator to show how these small groups can more effectively leverage their limited financial and experiential resources.

Solutions for Secretaries of Small NPO's
ISBN: 978-0-9797896-1-8
www.boysmindbooks.com/sfs/

Michigan's Historic Manitou Passage - Charming New Book Tells It's Story

2008-08-04T19:00:00.000-07:00

An Indefinitive History of the Settlement of Northeast Lake Michigan

GRAND HAVEN, MI--AUGUST 20, 2007-- Learn about the natural and human history of the Manitou Passage, from glacier to National Park! This small book offers a light, sometimes romantic, conspectus written in the conversational style of the popular broadcast series, "Alistair Cooke's America."

Author Gene Warner began life in the Manitou Passage, on South Manitou Island, and ancestor of original settler immigrants. Husband, father, grandfather, engineer, business owner, author, and publisher, his works include visitor guides, historical sketches, nonprofit management guides, and practical self-improvement books.

The Manitou Passage Story - An Indefinitive History of the Settlement of Northeast Lake Michigan
ISBN: 978-0-9797896-0-1
www.boysmindbooks.com/tmps/

A Psychological Self-Improvement Book for Boys

2008-08-02T19:30:00.000-07:00

Troubled boys become unsuccessful and unhappy men. Any boy can learn how to keep that from happening.

Grand Haven, MI -- July 30, 2008 -- Happiness and success in life depend on something nobody teaches a boy anything about - his mind. Most of the time brains just free-run, doing whatever they want with the inputs they receive, and taking us wherever they happen to drift, which often turns out to be places we would rather not be. Instead of letting an out-of-control brain be his master - a "monster" that constantly works against him - a boy can decide to take control, making his mind think rationally and constructively to provide a highly successful, abundantly happy and richly rewarding life.

That is the premise of the newly published "Mind Over Monster," a psychological self-improvement book intended for boys age ten and up. The book presents a practical approach to understanding what the mind is and how it works, how emotional and personality problems naturally result as a boy grows up, and how they can easily be overcome. It doesn't shy away from sensitive but important issues such as family, sex and religion, offering insights that might prove controversial among some factions, but which face up to the practical realities boys must deal with while becoming men in today's real world. Written in a conversational style, these frank conversations are liberally illustrated with real accounts from the author's own life experiences.

Author Gene Warner is a husband, father, grandfather, engineer, business owner, author, and publisher. His works include visitor guides, historical sketches, nonprofit management guides, and practical self-improvement books.

Mind Over Monster - Psychological Self-Improvement for Boys
ISBN: 978-0-9797896-2-5
www.boysmindbooks.com/mom/

More Idiocracy - Michigan to Ban Pier Jumping?

2007-10-30T05:50:00.000-07:00

Michigan has lots of lakes, rivers and streams for people to enjoy on hot summer days. Anyone who was ever a kid understands why kids like to jump off things into the water. Here in Grand Haven, kids have been "cannonballing" into Lake Michigan off the local pier probably ever since the pier was built. But a bill recently passed in Michigan's Senate would make such jumps illegal, at least from public piers and structures along the Great Lakes and connecting waters.

Senate Bill 629, which supposedly arose as a result of meetings among officials in communities along Lake Michigan in the wake of recent drownings, would "prohibit a person from jumping, diving, or swimming from a pier, jetty, breakwater or other similar structure, or a buoy or other navigational device, that was located in the Great Lakes or their connecting waters." The bill passed the Senate on October 17, 2007 by a 35-2 vote, and was then sent to the House. If it becomes law, those jumps and dives will be punished by a fine of as much as $500.

Here is a hot flash for Lansing - Michigan has some big problems, and this is not one of them. Have you checked the unemployment figures lately? Have you driven on our rickety roads and streets lately? How about the drop-out rates from our crummy schools? Have you given any thought to the opportunities available for our maturing children, or how they'll be able to make ends meet when married with children?

I'm tired of our lazy-minded Legislature passing lame, unnecessary laws. How did you find time to debate this issue in the midst of your "budget crisis"? The Senate's vote, 35-2, is a clear indication of how much thought anyone put into this before deciding the issue. Moreover, who is doing the deciding anyway? Does anyone in the Senate have any idea what "pier jumping" really is? Have any of you ever done that, or even been out on a pier to watch what's going on?

I have. I have lived on the lakeshore all my life (67 years). Pier jumping is great fun and a wholesome activity for kids, who usually appear to be in the twelve to sixteen year age range. I suppose it happens, but I have never heard on anyone being injured or drowning while doing that. On the other hand, people do drown off the pier, but they're usually older, and either fall off or are washed over the edge in bad weather.

As for kids drowning, we loose an average of one kid a month during the summer season, usually a ten to fourteen-year-old boy from the interior or from out of state, at our bathing beaches. I don't suppose Grand Haven is unique in that respect, so given all the beaches around the state, that's a lot of dead boys and sad families. I would guess that is a much more significant problem. So why not pass a law forbidding swimming and bathing off publicly owned beaches?

Better yet, how about just passing a law against drowning. That would cover the whole gamut. It would also be typical of the depth of thinking that we have come to expect out of Lansing.

Lansing needs to understand that government does not need to address every piddling little problem found in society. You are there to work on the big problems. I suspect that the delving into these piddling little issues is really just a form of escapism practiced by a legislature that is not capable of addressing big problems effectively.

Our Makoonsag

2007-09-14T19:33:00.000-07:00

Preface

I once read a personal memoir written by an old man who was one of the children of a North Manitou Island Lightkeeper. The light station was located on the north Island's southern-most point, several miles from the few other people who lived on the island. Some of them were farmers and loggers, but most were summer residents who left as the days began to grow shorter. It was a lonely place, open to the winds and the weather.

The Manitou Passage was still an important maritime asset then, with several ships negotiating the treacherous waters between the towering Sleeping Bear Dunes on the mainland, and the two nearby islands, North Manitou and South Manitou. The significance of the maritime traffic and the danger in that immediate area was marked by the presence of two lighthouse stations and three lifesaving stations. But as time marched on, the importance of shipping was diminished by the growth of railroads, motor freight and air travel. By the late years of the twentieth century, the Manitou Passage was only a footnote in history books, and important only as a beautifully scenic tourist destination. The islands were eventually deserted by all the families who had once thought of them as "home."

Makoonsag is an Ojibwa word meaning "bear cubs"; Mishe-Mokwa is "the Great Bear" referred to in Longfellow's famous "Song of Hiawatha." Those familiar with the area know the Indian legend explaining the presence of the great dune and the two nearby islands. I was conceived on South Manitou, so certain things in the memoir I was reading that evening struck close to home, even bringing tears as in my mind's eye the words on the page morphed into moving pictures of what used to be. That inspired the only attempt I've made at poetry during my adult life.

[-=glw=-]

Our Makoonsag

West of watchful Mishe-Mokwa, lay the cold and lonely Islands
on the slate and restless waters, 'neath the clouds that darkly threaten,
warning boats to stay at bay.

Hosting now the north winds only and the snows its gales blow fiercely
into fields and woods and ruins, drifting over trails and pathways
where our feet oft found their way.

Out of season and abandoned, save for tiny beasts and migrants,
islands where we once made merry; silent now and solitary
on this wintry New Year's Day.

On the mainland we now frolic, having moved across the Passage,
seeking fortunes then elusive (never found on either Island) ...
lighter work for greater pay.

But quiet moments bring to mind the warmth of simple village folk,
faithful kin and caring neighbors, farmsteads once so full of laughter;
journeys made by horse and sleigh.

Dauntless seamen making crossings challenging the angry billows,
worried wives a'watching seaward, catching ropes upon deliverance.
Voyagers back, now home to stay.

Sands still warm on summer evenings soothing bare feet of the children,
racing beams around the lighthouse, finding shapes in starry heavens.
Bath and bedtime after play.

Sought we all for "something better", fooled by fickle expectations,
one by one the Islands leaving. Dreaming then, now sadly knowing,
the better life we'd cast away.

While coldly we forsook our Islands, steadfast they to our hearts cling,
fostering such recollections! Absence hindering not remembrance,
pictures saved there oft replay.

Save we facts and share we fables of our much revered makoonsag;
generations hence might know them as have we, their privileged stewards,
passing on our legacy.

Gene L Warner
January 1, 2004

Beauty is Wasted on the Young ...

2007-09-07T20:06:00.001-07:00

... and wisdom is wasted on the old.

Here's the "before" picture. Compare it with the mug shot on the home page. Ain't it a shame?

What possible explanation can there be for nature's making us progressively less attractive as we grow older? (Yeah, I know ... keeps the gene pool fresh and vital.)

On the other hand, youth is a time of ignorance. While we're at our best physically, we're at our worst intellectually. What sense does that make?

Moreover, when we're at our best intellectually, we're at the least socially acceptable time in life ... "senior citizens," "in our golden years," and all that crap, which really means we get to be viewed as bumbling old farts who are totally irrelevant and just taking up space. Never mind that vocationally we're at the top of our game, and merely by virtue of our years of experience and hard knocks, wizened well beyond the younger generations. What sense does that make?

According to the demographics for "hi5," I'm much older (at 67) than almost everyone else on here, so I feel moved to share my wisdom with you all.

My message is that old age really suques. Thus far, I've yet to find anything good about it. Secondly, take warning – it happens much sooner than you expect. In just the blink of any eye, you'll be where I am ("If ever you should live so long.")

[-=glw=-]

Welcome! (... and so what's here?)

2007-09-06T18:20:00.000-07:00

Writing is the easy part.

I've always liked to write. I think this was probably a result of my avoidant personality organization. I wasn't good at thinking quickly, because during conversations or debates my mind's first priority was the sensing of self-esteem issues and the deployment of ego defenses. Since it was so easy for others to get the best of me in those situations, I developed the habit of keeping my mouth shut. I became known as a quiet person - a man of few words.

(This is just conversation. If you don't care to
read all this, the table of contents is on the right.)
Of course, I wasn't quiet at all. I had a lot to say, but chose to write it, rather than utter it. I was big on letters and memos, which often consisted of several pages.

The nice thing about writing is that you get to take as much time as you wish to think about what you want to say. As long as there's nobody looking over your shoulder, there's nothing threatening about it, so your mind can concentrate on the subject at hand. That usually prevents your jumping to conclusions or talking out your [expletive deleted], as it were. But even when not, you avoid the embarrassment of having that brought to your attention, since there's nobody there to challenge what you're saying. And usually the better side of you will see to it that those passages get fixed or expunged prior to publication.

That brings up another nice thing; you don't have to worry about saying stupid things that you can't take back. What goes out of your mouth stays out there forever. You can't ever really take it back or eat your words. But you can always highlight something you've written and touch the Delete key; then those words magically vanish as if they'd never been written, never to be seen or heard by anyone.

Because of all this, I had lots of experience writing things. Eventually, people began to tell me I was a pretty good writer; even one of my best friends, who has a Ph.D. in English Literature and teaches writing at USC in Los Angeles. He once told me that he admired the way I so often and so successfully married profundity and profanity, or virtuosity and vulgarity, in the same short sentence. I took that as a compliment.

Enjoy the blog.

[-=glw=-]

A Self-Help Psychology Book For Boys?

2007-08-30T18:43:00.000-07:00

Fifty-five years ago, a Norman Vincent Peale, a protestant minister, offered a book called "The Power of Positive Thinking." It quickly became a best-seller, and has sold upwards of 7-million copies. Peale's book was religious-based, of course, but could be considered a precursor to what is now called cognitive behavior theory.

Today we are beginning to understand that the root of most emotional and personality problems is low self-esteem. Our self-image arises from judgments we make about ourselves over the years. These are often invalid, having been arrived at using information we have stored away in our brain from the time that our minds began to function in a cognitive way. In the beginning, our minds have very little data available that can be applied to understanding what's happening to us, and what's going on around us. Therefore, much of what we conclude about those inputs is invalid. Those flawed perceptions are then applied to understanding new inputs, and thereby beget even more invalid perceptions about our little world and ourselves.

To make matters worse, children have a lot to learn, and are almost constantly being instructed and corrected. Unless handled with sensitivity to the possibility of misperceptions, the learning process intrinsically engenders feelings of inferiority as the learner evaluates himself in comparison to those doing the teaching. The process is usually not conducted with great patience and sensitivity to the learner, since those imparting the instruction - parents, teachers, and other authority figures - often have problematical emotional issues and personality organizations of their own, which resulted from the same flawed upbringing.

Unfortunately, by the time we embark upon our second decade in life, our minds are loaded with lots of misperceptions and incorrect information about almost everything, including ourselves. During our waking hours, we are continuously presented with new sensations and observations, which the mind must make some sense of and appropriately file. What is already in our minds serves as the data by which we evaluate these new inputs, so to the extent that the data is bad, the new thinking is likely to be flawed. Thus, misperceptions beget more misperceptions, and as we continue to grow during our second ten years in life, we become progressively more self-defeating and unhappy.

Sometimes this process ends in death. Some develop a feeling that they are so flawed and worthless that their death would not be a great loss, and therefore feel no need to worry much about keeping themselves out of harms way. In the absence of such care, or the presence of such a "death wish," harm often catches up with them. Others resort to suicide as a means of finally ending their misery and emotional pain.

Otherwise, the misery is apt to continue until an emotional crisis occurs, usually not until we are well into adult life. If it is mild, it is usually called a "mid-life crisis" or "menopause." Often it is diagnosed as a full-blown nervous breakdown, or worse.

Dr. Peale attempted to teach his readers how to employ the amazing powers of the mind through positive thinking to correct their self-image and improve their lives. That is the opposite of what often takes place. Through unbridled negative thinking, those same powers can turn the mind into a monster that ultimately destroys it host.

Over the past generations, people have been led to believe that behavior was inherited, or the result of one's particular brain physiology. In recent generations, emotional issues and personality problems have been thought to arise from deeply repressed psychological problems; things so shameful or otherwise disturbing as to be reachable only through lengthy treatments in therapy. These were seen as mental problems or disorders, and sometimes even insanity. People involved in therapy were referred to as "patients", the term suggesting that they were sick in the head, or "mentally ill." These ideas did much to discourage people from facing up to the fact that they had such problems, and doing anything about them. This has been especially true for men, who are typically taught to be tough, and that emotional vulnerability is a sign of weakness. Now we are beginning to realize these stereotypes are not only invalid, but also harmful.

Meanwhile, we are also learning that the mind is far more powerful than anyone knew, and is easily capable of dealing with the roots of our unhappiness and ineffectiveness, which, on the other hand, are far less complicated than previously thought. Furthermore, it is clear that emotional issues and personality problems do not have to happen in the first place, but have become the norm simply because through our ignorance we have permitted them to do so.

It seems obvious to me that it makes no sense to permit children's' minds to develop however they will, then worry about changing their minds somewhere in their adult years, often after they've wasted the best part of their lives in neuroticism. Young people can be taught enough about how their mind works as to be able to take control of what goes into it, making rational judgments about the meaning and significance of what is presented to it, before storing the information away. The question is who will do this?

At this point in our culture, any institutionalized attempt to teach our children "mind control" is apt to be abhorrent to many. Most parents would interpret that as an attempt to usurp their prerogatives, especially if they had reason to fear that their children might wind up more rational and emotionally well-adjusted than they are.

This is the purpose of my writing "Mind Over Monster," a book for pre-adolescent boys; to make the knowledge available on a voluntary basis for those who want to take advantage of it. Mind Over Monster is not a religious book, or a self-help book that promises easily achieved miracles. It is a plain-English introduction to what neurologists and psychologists are presenting as a new understanding, but what grandparents of generations past were apt to commonly share with young members of their families - that happiness and success in life, like any other skill, is something that can be learned and constantly improved upon through practice.

[-=glw=-]

MOM Web Page: www.boysmindbooks.com/mom/

Why I Wrote the SfS Book

2007-08-28T18:22:00.000-07:00

Lot's of books have been written for nonprofits. People often wonder why I thought the world needed yet another one, and one focused narrowly on nonprofit corporate secretaries of the smallest organizations?

Most NPOs are small. Of the 1.6-million nonprofits in the U.S., a little over half are charitable organizations. Of these, two-thirds ... about 550,000 exempt organizations ... have gross receipts less than $25,000. These organizations cannot afford a paid professional staff. From their board of directors on down, they’re all-volunteer operations.

Officers and directors of small nonprofits are often nominated and elected simply because nobody else wants the job. Their most significant qualification is that they don’t have the mettle (or the heart) to say, "No". While volunteers are sometimes able to bring needed expertise to the organization, more often than not, the millions who are willing to give of their time come only with belief in the mission and a willingness to help. That’s admirable, of course. But it’s a handicap that keeps most of these NPOs amateurish, small, and much less effective than they’d like to be.

The corporate secretary is usually the hardest working and least appreciated member of an executive board. The Secretary does whatever it takes to make everyone else look good. Not sure you’re up to that? If you’re earnest about helping your organization build a professional-looking image and manage itself effectively, this handbook will help make up for the training and experience you aren’t able to bring to your new job. In fact, you’ll probably be the best Secretary your board has ever had!

In the process of writing the book, I developed lots of examples, templates and other useful things that I originally intended to provide with the book on a companion CD. Then I realized that a supporting web site would be a much better idea. In addition to making the downloads easily available and always up to date, I could offer even more. Among other things, the SfS website has a forum where those interested can ask questions, share ideas, or just network. Best of all, all those resources would be available to everyone, anywhere in the world. I welcome you to take advantage of that, book-buyer or not, and hope you'll find something useful there.

[-=glw=-]

SfS Companion Website: www.soultionsforsecretaries.com