Incomplete Ramblings of a Delusional Tide Fan

Lane Kiffin Outkicks his Coverage by marrying Layla Kiffin

2009-02-19T17:03:00.002-06:00

Knoxville, TN

The UT faithful have a new coach. A really young coach.A "Maverick"....Definately not Phil Fulmer. Some say that is the kick in the pants UT needed, while some would say immature, brash, etc.....

One thing is for sure, Lane Kiffin has definately outkicked his coverage when he hooked up with his wife.

Had he not had the last name "Kiffin", a famous NFL Coach for a father, and got mad money for "on the job training" for the NFL, he would be married someone alot less attractive. And in all honesty, I think she is the driving force behind Lane Kiffin being so cocky. She probably eggs him on behind the scenes, telling him all sorts of crap thats gonna end up getting his team on the field killed vs Florida and Alabama. Probably says things to make Lane jeaulous. More than likely tells him that talking smack turns her on. Hey, cant blame him.....So much to the point to where he lost his freakin mind in front of many UT boosters by implying that Urban Meyer is a cheater, and that Nick Sabans success was all due to soon to be divorced Lance Thompson.

Well, the UT boosters want to curb that behaviour. They wrote a song about it, wanna hear it? Here it go'.....

"LAYLA"

What'll you do when Laney gets fired

And nobody's waiting by your side?

He's been running his mouth much too long.

After Florida, we will get crushed by the Tide..

Layla, Laneys got us on our knees.

Layla, I'm begging, darling please.

Layla, darlin,won't you shut your husbands mouth?

We tried to give him consultation

Before Florida comes and beats us down.

Like a fool, we left it up to you,

Tebow made us look like a bunch of clowns;

Layla, Laneys got us on our knees

Layla, I'm begging,darling please.

Layla, darlin, won't you shut your husbands mouth?

We're writing a check to get out of this situation

We must have really been insane.

Please tell him he won't Coach UT another day,

No other coach has caused us this much pain.

It's all in fun, really. Maybe it will work for UT. First things first, they need a SEC style QB. I know Peyton was the end all, best QB not to win a Heisman in NCAA history or a National Championship, and with that, they really dont have any burners. Its the chicken or the egg thing. I guess WR's dont matter if they dont have a QB to get them the ball. A strong UT program is good for the SEC, and good for football in general. Watching them lose to a UCLA team and Wyoming? That was tuff. Hell we lost to Utah, so I guess one isnt so much different than the other. I like beating UT. I'd like it more if UT were better when we beat them. Beating up on the talent equivalent of a 8th grader when you are a Senior may be fun for a little bit, but it loses its luster, even if the 8th grader had it coming. I dont hate UT. I pull for them in out of conference play. I hated Fulmer. Now I kinda dislike Kiffin. Mainly cause he has a hot wife that he wouldnt normally get if his last name was Smith and his dad was a Pharmacist. And opportunities in college and NFL coaching he normally would not have had since he was a coaches son. Lets be honest, since I have been in youth sports way back when, the coaches son was the bane of all other kids existence. You were expected to be on time, ready to go, in every sport. 'Cept for the Coaches son. Hell, sometimes the coaches son would miss practice for the whole week, and still START on Saturday. Just show up, and boom, he is in the lineup while some other kid was getting their brains beat in during the week of hot ass practices in August. Sometimes the Coaches Son would start shit. Why? Because his dad was the coach, and you were outgunned. He knew if anyone retaliated, the offender would run 20 miles in pads cause the Coaches Son could do no wrong. So if you found yourself in the unique position of being bugged or pestered by the Coaches Son, you better make it count if you want to get even. Yours truly found himself in that position. Since most Coaches Sons play either QB or RB in football or Pitcher or SS in Baseball, one day I found my helmet covered in Fruit Loop stickers, all over my nice white shiny helmet. We had a rule about keeping our helmets clean,etc, and if ya didnt come to Fridays practice with a clean helmet, you had to run about 4 laps in full pads, usually at the end of a scrimmage, bear crawls and wind sprints. I was about 9 yrs old. Coaches son was a little older, but not bigger. He made sure to point out that I had a helmet covered in stickers. His dad, the Coach, the Tiny-Mite version of Bear Bryant, took no excuses when I tried to explain that HIS kid had done it. He told me to shut up and see him after practice, after I ran. So with this little bit of extra motivation looming over my head, I decided to turn up the intensity a little bit going thru the scrimmage, since I played basically a LB/Rover position and his son played QB. The Option was all the rage back in them days, with Alabama running the Wishbone, with the QB usually reading the defense and pitching at the last second. And since we basically played both ways anyway, we knew all the plays the offense was gonna run. My best friend played fullback, who is really a lead blocker for the QB, and so I approached him before the scrimmage and told him to either trip or fall down after getting the fake handoff so I could tee off on the Coaches Son. I think it cost me a Pitfall game from Atari, since bribery always works. It was worth it. After about the 3rd play from scrimmage, the Coaches Son had to be pulled out of the scrimmage for a pinched nerve/headache/breath knocked outta him since basically I blitzed on every play and didnt have to face a blocker. And I knew how to hit. "BrickHead" was my nickname, and even the most feared 12 yr old black players gave me respect. My uncle, who played for Bama back in the early 70's, told me to act crazy at all times, especially during practice. I did, and it worked, although many times I was scared when I was about to get run over, I usually psyched out many stronger RB's. Since at 9 yrs old, acting isnt a second nature, my best friend got caught basically falling down and not blocking even when he was told to, and we ended up running our asses off, laughing the whole way.

And it seems we were stuck with the same coaches throughout our Baseball/Football careers, so we had to deal with the same BS all year round, til we got to high school. Funny thing, most Coaches Sons either washed out over disagreements with real High School Coaches, or werent tough enough to take criticism when they screwed up.

And ironically, most ended up working for their dad in their family business or at whatever Chemical plant their dad worked at.

So basically, I hate Kiffin by default for being a Coaches Son and all that goes with it. And he is UT's young head coach.

Boredom in the off season..Random thoughts to keep me busy....

2009-01-24T10:54:00.007-06:00

Yeh, the monkey with the gun is about what I think many Financial Experts are doing right now....shooting with their eyes closed, guessing WTF is going on in the financial sector right now GLOBALLY....Circuit City, which has been around since I was 12, just went the way of the Do-do bird and is now extinct. It is a really weird feeling for me. I have a place in my heart for Circuit City. It is where I, as a young 12 yr old, became interested in "all things electronic"....I guess since today is the 4th anniversary of my fathers death from a massive stroke, I guess I need to do a little reflection on how I came to be who I am.......A Bama fan and a good father.(I hope, you never really know since there is no instruction manual, or unless your kids tell ya.) :)

My dad was, to me , the worlds greatest mechanic since he came from a generation of "do-it-yourself" or "build it yourself", and ironically, my Grandfather or "Paw-Paw", was a Master Mechanic and electronics wiz, and welder, and farmer, and carpenter, and brick mason, landscaper,fisherman, hunter, iron worker, all wrapped up in a 5'9, 160 lb frame. Both he and my dad were very similar in build, and appearance. Both are short, wiry, bald and have forearms that belong to bodybuilders since they work on stuff and have a grip that would break your hand if they wanted to. Only difference was that they were 20 yrs apart, and always felt that one was smarter than the other.

My dad didnt care for telephones, or the new fangled car computers, or cell phones or home computers that they were coming out with in the 80's, he was raised on carbs and gas and all things that make cars go fast. For comparision, when he was 14-15 til the time he was 18, before he went off to war, he built and restored an old '32 Ford from the ground up, full on frame restoration, painting the frame, restoring and rebuilding the motor, tinkering with the pistons, headers, anything to make it the baddest thing on the strip, very similar to the guy in the yellow car in "American Graffitti" that ended up racing Harrison Ford in the '55 Chevy. My grandfather told me that my dad rarely, if ever, asked for advice or help, that he had a knack at looking at things, taking them apart, putting them back together, usually modifing them someway to make it run better, and could usually put things back together with his eyes closed. Of course, my grandfather was the same way, and although he worked a full time job, many people knew he could fix things, and many times he would for extra money, though many times he did it for free.

Both were stubborn as old mules and wouldnt take advice from anybody, much less each other.

And both were alcoholics from the word "GO". It didnt matter, beer,wine, whiskey, moonshine, it was always drank the same way, in huge gulps. And it always was done either around cars or during football season on Saturdays, and on Sunday during the games.

So when a car was being fixed and one was helping the other, alot of loud talking about how things should go where always came up. The one that was "helping" usually left in a huff...

"Fine fix it your damn self" type of conversation. My dad finished the 32 Ford, and sold it, for 4 times the money he had in it, and thought he should have held onto it, but he found a niche in restoring things and selling them as a hobby. By the time I came along, he had finished several projects and decided to go to work full time, and kinda let the restoring stuff go on the back burner.

Now by contrast, when I was 12, I was interested in electronics and took Beta Maxs apart, VCR's that were as big as briefcases and those things had parts you actually could replace. I had a working knowledge of electricity thanks to my Granddad and dad, and learned to read schematics. When computers came around..IBM, Apple IIe and IIc, I was "all up in it", learning why and how and what this and that was........

All this will tie back to Circuit City, eventually, hang with me here..... But growing up, they had a passion for Dragster and Stock Car Racing. Mind you, this was in '77-78-79 and the sport was really made up from people who were rich and could afford the best parts, etc, and many times the "guys with money" were the dominant force from the local tracks to the big tracks in Talladega and Atlanta. I remember them and my other uncles in the garage, the smell of hot metal, freshly welded pipes, the smell that a wheel grinder gives off as it cuts into metal, and of course, cutting torches. It was like some medieval torture chamber, but for cars. I remember getting scolded for playing with the friction igniter that they used to light the blowtorch cause it would make these cool ass sparks. And blowtorches are cool for playing, but they are meant for working and I wasnt a metal worker. I asked my Dad, how a welder could weld for 8 hours a day for a career, and he said "Thats why you stay in school, most welders I know are drug addicts, mostly junkies and dropouts, from looking at that bright little dot all day in 100 degree weather!"

I usually sat back in amazement as all of this stuff, a wheeless frame from some car from the junk yard, became this tubular cage of a race car. Even though this was for a late model car, and on a very tight budget, I felt my dad and grandad had missed their calling by not being in NASCAR as crew chiefs or head mechanics, hell, even fabricators. The care in which they built these things and the bond he and his 3 brothers had doing this stuff together with his dad was what I envied since I only had 1 sister while growing up,and all she wanted to do is play with damn dolls, plus she hated race cars , because when they fired it up with out the pipes, fire would race out of the heads and it was LOUD!!!And it scared the living hell out of her.....And to a little boy(me), thats was awesome and it blew me away. I was 7 at the time and all I could think about was "I wanna drive it.....NOW!!!"....Thats when I knew I wanted to go fast,and had the need for speed.

Well my dad and granddad couldnt drive it, wouldnt let me drive it, and they really built it for my youngest uncle to drive at the local track. Once they put the finishing touches with the sheet metal, it was a clone of a car that #11 car Cale Yarborough drove in the Nascar Winston Cup Series that year. I was just as excited to see this project come together since I couldnt wait to jump in the seat, press the button, and feel the car come to life. My dad told me to get in one day when they were tuning it up, and he told me to cover my ears...He primed it, flipped a bunch of switches, then pressed the button and fired that mutha up!! I swear once it rumbled to life, it scared teh shit outta me, and the only thought that went thru my shaking skull was "THAT IS AWESOME!" The whole car jumps to life in a loud ROAR of thunder and the whole thing shakes, the earth moves, and I swear I was scared and thrilled since you cannot hear yourself think.

No wonder my Granddad and dad are half deaf...... My granddad was the proudest as I have ever seen him when my uncle took it to the track, and won it on the last lap. I got to ride in the car on the victory lap, and even though I was 7, I never forgot the scene of the crowd, the smell of burnt rubber, crashed cars and antifreeze, exhaust fumes, and the lights and the cheers as he drove by with the checkered flag......It was one of the last times we were all together since in the next few years, Paw-Paws health went downhill, and my cousins tragic death from street racing, plus the economy wouldn't allow any extra money for racing, it all went away except basically for Alabama football. And yes, Bear Bryant was a central part of influence on my Grandfather and Dad. They were passionate about racing, whiskey, Alabama football, plus we were really spoiled from '76-81' when the Tide was rolling thru their winning seasons and Championship Days....I remember going to a game in Bham with my dad and Grandfather where their passion was barely matched by thousands in the stands. It was like church. And everyone wanted to shake Bear Bryant's hand, and I believe all of them would eat out of it, if he would let them... And God forbid if we lost(only once or twice that I saw or could remember), because Paw-Paw was in-con-sol-able....usually because he was drunk by the 4th quarter, and whiskey or bourbon has the ability to make someone really over dramatic. I think it is one of the few times he actually wept, besides Bear Bryant's death and my Grandmothers funeral(there was no sadder image I have ever seen and is burned in my memory than when, after my Grandmother had passed from a heart attack, during the funeral,my Grandfather walking up to the casket, and she was in her favorite Sunday dress,and he slowly gazing up and down the casket during the wake, and all the while, big tears streaming down his face, he tenderly leans over and kisses her on the cheek, and whispers something in her ear, gently lays his wedding ring on her hand, and walks away, a broken man. He wept. He was embarrassed of the pain showing in his face, and he hurriedly wiped his eyes with his handkerchief he always had with him, although he shouldn't have been embarrassed. He immediately walks outside to smoke one of his favorite cigars, and to simply decompress.) My father told me later when I asked him, since all the children they had together were there, watching this unfold(they had 4 boys and 2 girls together) my father told me Grandad told her that he loved her since the first day they met in 1st grade(they married at 14 and quit school), and he thanked her for all the kids that they together, that she was a great mom and grandmother and that he wished he would have been nicer at times, and that he really loved her more than anything in the world and he would have a hole in his heart and miss her cooking and the smell of her perfume, and he didn't know how to say goodbye, and he didn't want to go home alone. I could tell this really moved my dad, since that whole family was not the touchy-feely-lovey-dovey type of family, no one really showed emotion except at funerals or births of babies.

Other than that, maybe Alabama football games is where I saw the next set of tears from my Grandfather, God forbid if they lost, then it was a tirade for the history books.

He would spend 30 mins lamenting on blown coverage, missed blocks, turnovers, bad tackling. Although there were few losses, those stung because he felt Bama could beat anyone in the universe as long as Bear Bryant was on the sideline. You could tell he was really mad if he went into the garage and started throwing tools around, or hitting stuff with a sledgehammer. Plus finances were tight and he was pissed about not racing or building stuff to race, so a loss just mounted that much more rage to expel. He never had high blood pressure since he seem to vent rather well. My dads thing was throwing shoes, or anything he could get his hands on. Mainly my collection of Hot Wheels. One time he threw Mini-Ha Ha, a car that was made from an oversize Red Army Helmet, about 100 yrds out the back door...It took me a week to track it down. I am glad my Grandfather passed soon after Bear Bryant, or it would have killed him to see the past 10 yrs. His head would have exploded.

Soon after his death, it seemed that the other parts of the family began to fall apart. It seemed like my Grandfather and Grandmother really kept the family together, and once they were gone, the aunts and uncles left behind really were kind of lost. They had saved well, had prime property-beach front propery, hunting land in prime spots, with acres and acres of waterfront river property on a part of Alabama that was being developed to be the "next place to be". Long story short, they had well over $1 mill. in assets,in 1985, and many of my aunts and uncles kinda felt it was worth something, but had they known what it was to become, they would have kept it and made 30 times the amount. But greed drives people apart, and throw in the mix some of the vague language in both of their Wills, things got interesting real quick. Some of these people were slowly beginning a spiral of self destruction. Here is where the fun starts....

Growing up, you know that your mom and dad may or may not like someone from the other side of the family. They keep things from you, so you don't freak out or say something out of line whenever both sides of the familys are together, like the holidays. Enter my Uncle Donnie.(he looked like Steve Buscemi with a Dr. Phil bald-head hairstyle, only white-trashier)

For some reason, my Grandmother felt the need to have names that sound alike.

My dads name is Johnny, and he had 3 brothers, Jerry, Ronnie and Donnie. I knew my dad liked to drink, no big deal. What I didnt know is that the rest of his brothers pretty much went a little off the edge when Grandma died. They went completely off the reservation when "Paw-Paw" died, except they did it in piles of money. And drugs, and money, and more drugs.

My Grandparents house was a huge 2 story, antebellum looking scaled down plantation in a small town in Alabama, on about 30 acres, about 40 miles away from any real civilization. Rolling hills, lakes, ponds, pastures, horses, cows, chicken, pigs, all that. My Grandpaw had a pecan orchard and a lot of farm land and gardens and the like. He was a typical retired farmer, who loved to get up at 4 am, do chores, repairs, feed cattle, the whole bit. HE was not lazy, he was driven. Once he passed away, somehow Jerry, Ronnie and Donnie, and my dad, were given an equal share of the "farmland". My dad is the only real business mind in the bunch. He knew if they were given anything in the form of cash, it would be gone. The problem was, Donnie had gotten divorced and moved in with PawPaw after Grandmaw died. Donnie was your atypical Vietnam Era vet who was well on his way to becoming your prototypical homeless vet. Long beard, bad hygiene and pretty much a full bore wino-alcoholic who could drink 24/7 for no particular reason.

Paw Paw(PP for short) had decide if Donnie didnt straighten up, he would be cut out of the will and be on his ass, or in jail. PP could whoop any of them with no problem, and he told them if they wanted a piece of him, to bring it on. I remember the last year when PP was alive, my mom relunctantly agreed to let me stay up there with PP and Donnie and go rabbit hunting, and deer hunting. Only problem was, Mom didnt know that Donnie was running a little MaryJane business, and strung out on about 4 various heavy drugs I knew of, and assorted pain meds . I was about 14, and I remember walking up to the house. Donnie had to be at least 30ish or so, and had just lost his job as a welder at a shipyard. He came out, high as a kite. It was 10 am, and PP had to run into town to get some feed for the cattle. I, being a church going, middle schooler from an uppity private school, had never come in contact with someone that was high on "dope" as mom used to call it. Mom dropped me off and told me to call her if I wanted to come home early, if I got bored or what-not. I have been hunting with mainly my uncles from my moms side of the family, the pure bred Baptist who didnt cuss or drink and took their hunting seriously. I had killed 3 or 4 deer from the time I was 12, so I knew how to shoot a 30.06 pretty well. They were professional about hunting and were very skilled, with many trophies at their camp in the middle of Alabama. Even taught me how to skin or "dress" a deer. Real Rambo like stuff, plus they like to shoot skeet, target practice, the whole deal..This was not like that at all.

The first thing Donny asked me was(he talks just like Youtube Bama fan--CowboyinTn1979)

UncleDonnie: "Hey man, lets go deer hunting, follow me...You got a light?"

ME: "No, Uncle Donny, I dont smoke, I'm like 14."

UD: "Bummer, man, lets go back here ,I wanna show you some cool stuff I found over here...."

We start walking to the house, he goes in and grabs a .22 automatic rifle, and I have a 12 gauge shotgun.

UD: "Hey man, you got Buckshot in there? I swear I saw a buck with a rack the size of a moose down by the swamp. Be ready, sometimes he likes to charge me and fire shoots out of his nose."

ME:"Uhh, I dont think fire comes out of his nose"

UD:"Man, you dont know, I know, I live here, there are dinosaurs back in them woods, man, I am raising them, they all come out at night and talk to me. I call them my little friends." Right then, I suspected he may be on PCP, something we had learned about by becoming Junior Deputies and watching all the Refer Madness films they showed 6th and 7th graders at a private church school. It was all of 10:30 and I found out later that he was tripping on acid, or "that crazy shit" my dad called it.

ME: "UD, are you ok, you seem to be acting like you are dizzy or whoozy."

UD: "Man, look at the sun, man, its drippin down like candle wax.....wow, you look funny..man...when did your hair turn blue and shiny, ....wow....you ever smoke weed? Lemme tell you man, it will make you think more, man, make you a deep thinker...everyone here does it, all your cousins do it, Tanya does it....and she's alot younger than you, she loves weeeeed..man.."

ME:"UD, Tonya is like 7 yrs old, I dont think she's smokin anything...."

UD:"You callin me a liar?(voice gets raised a lil bit, now he is struggling to stand up, its 11:04 am)..cause I can kick your ass, just so you know that, I can kick your ass, I dont care if you think you are bigger than me(I was, at 12, 5'7 155 lbs, he was 30ish ,5'6 145)..I was in Vietnam goddammit, and I will KICK YOUR ASS!!!(starts doing a weird version of a clumsy Kung-Fu Bruce Lee, complete with spastic chopping motions and high pitched Kung Fu noises like Hi-YA, Woooooo,weee,woooo goddammit!!!) (now he is staggering and as he is saying the last goddammit!, he sits down by a fallen pine tree, lays his gun down) man why is the ground so muddy(it wasnt) hey Bubba(dont know why he called me Bubba, but from then on, I was called Bubba by UD til he died, my dad said he had a friend in 'Nam named Bubba that was shot in an ambush, just like in Forrest Gump. This was like in 1981...Donny never saw Forrest Gump, but the movies he did see, "Platoon" being one, was, to him, utter bullshit. His fav was Apocalypse Now)

"Get your ass over here and get me out of this mud before the leeches get me.....HURRY!!!(only problem was, he was obviously seeing things that I couldnt see and he is starting to freak TFOut, and me being 12, was getting a little antsy, I had a loaded 12 gauge and felt , if I need to use it , I will)

ME: "UD, just pull yourself up onto the log that you are leaning up against, all you have to do is stand up! There is no mud here, dude, hell there aint no water in 3 miles from here."

UD: "Fuck you, I am in quicksand now and I dont know if I can touch the bottom(he was slowly sliding from a sitting position on the log and oozing onto the ground, as if he was actually going under water or quicksand...a mime would have been proud) throw me a limb and pull me out--- PLEASE...O God, a goddamn alligator GODDDAAMMM ALLIGATORRRR!!! FUCKIN HURRY!!!"

ME: ( I am wondering if anyone else can see him. I have never seen anyone do this, ever, and its really kinda funny and amusing, its like he is putting on a show for me, or a one man Broadway stage act, and its pretty entertaining with all the emotion, if we would have YouTube back in '81, this would have like 10 million hits....) "Donny, trust me, there is no gator, no leeches, no quicksand, no mud, no nothing, dude, all you have to do is stand up."

UD: "The gator is smiling at me, he knows he is gonna eat me, HURRY THE FUCK UP....holy Shit, a dinosaur just got that gator ....look!!(he points maybe 2 feet away from the soles of his boots) My friends have saved me!! My friends in the forest!!! I knew they would come and help!! I knew it!!(Ok, thank god for the damn dinosaur that he can see and I can't. It is all of 11:15 am and I can tell this is gonna be a looonnng 3 days)

ME: "Uh, yeh, great, now can you stand up now? Are you sure you dont want to go back and lie down at the house, we are pretty close and you can rest and pull yourself together"

UD:"Maaaann, yoouuu dooonnnnn'''tttt unnnnndddeerrrstannnnd, you cant leave my friends here without talking to them, that would be mean.....you cant see them?(I nod my head No)

Well thats your loss man, your mind is closed off, man, thats why, your not tuned in, you need to see the promised land, and ease your mind...."

ME: "Uhh, ok, do you think you can walk? I really think we should go back... and...."

UD: "HUSH, you will scare them off...(he stands up, and wobbly legs and all, he heads towards the treeline, and seems to be ok under his own power, my fear was that he would think his legs have fallen off and I would have to drag his sorry ass all the way back)

ME: "Where in the hell are we going? How far do we have to go?"

UD:"We gotta cross this fence over here....barbed wire, man, it will chew you up if you run into it at full speed,man, I KNOW!"(lifts his shirt, and, yes he is scratched up like a tiger swiped his ribs)

ME: "Ok, point taken.." We cross the fence, and we are officially tresspassing. I have no clue where we are, and we walk toward what looks like netting in a clearing, something you would see from M"A"S"H...
UD:"Well look at this, hey Bubba walk over here....."
ME: "Ok, whats up?" Then I step on a tall, green plant that is like 7 ft, and turns out, a Marijuana plant, and here comes phase two of a major freakout.
UD:"What the hell are you doing? Do you have any fuckin idea what that or this is? You owe me like $300 bucks, dude!"
ME:" Uh, sorry, but I didnt know plants cost that much. Is it rare? Seems to me there are several hundred just like it right here and right over there...."
UD:"Stay away from them....I sell these to people. This is weed, man, and its easy money.....you got friends that smoke Malboros, right? "
Me: "NO!"
UD: "Cause if you do, they will buy weed by the truckload man.....and I need someone who can help me move this before it goes to waste or I smoke all of it up......thats why you need to try it..."
ME:(the whole time he is talking, I am shaking my head in the "No" way) "I dont smoke, UD, its bad for you and I hear drugs are bad"
UD:"The only reason people tell you drugs are bad is because they want more for themselves, man, especially the goverment, man,...back in 'Nam, we had all the drugs we wanted, hell we need them, it was kinda like bonus money....its the governments fault I like 'em so much....
we need to go back to the house, I need to pick something up.....my buzz is wearin off and Im thirsty......"
It seemed that he was gettin more and more coordinated and less agitated, and I was guessing what drug had a hold of him was wearin off, and I was guessin he wanted another hit or something.......to be continued................I'll complete Uncle Donnie, part 2 later.......

Now getting back to electronics....my dad slowly came around to push button phones, and even bought a Fish Finder for fishing, which it did help us catch more fish and cut down on the guess work. As for a comparison of my 14-15yr old self vs his 14 yr old self, the most ambitious thing I ever did was take out the seats and carpet of '82 Camaro my soon-to-be car and install my new Coustic Auto Reverse Head Unit w/Bass Boost, and wire it to 3 amps via a Coustic 3 way Crossover, and build and install 2 -12" M&M Subwoofers, and install 2 Tweeters, 2 6x9's.

All in all, it cost me about $1000.00 from my summer yard cutting money, and my mom picked up some of it. My dad did help a little bit to make sure I didn't mess up any wires behind the dash, and making sure I didn't blow up the battery in the mean time. The biggest difference between my generation and my dads generation is that they were taught the value of a dollar and how to take care of things, since they were hard to come by. The car eventually became a running joke, a real training tool for me, learning how to fix stuff on it with his help. The Car may be broken down, but the stereo sounded good. He felt that stereo was overkill, and didn't see the need of it. Always the performance minded, he said for $1000.00 I could have bought new heads and get some more HP out of that 305 Chevy.

My dad was one of the few people who could keep something good as new for 10 yrs, even with everyday use, wear and tear. I remember some tennis shoes I bought him when I was 6, or my mom bought him and let me give it too him for his birthday. When I was 16, he still had them, good as new. And he wore them every weekend for 10 yrs. He was all about maintaining things. Things always had a schedule for this and that, and he always had clean tools and the best running lawnmowers. His shop/garage, was always pristine like a Nascar Garage with posters of hot Snap-On tools calendars of big breasted women in tight shirts, or bikinis. He was methodical, and I guess it came from his time in the military. He felt that people who couldn't take care of their things shouldn't be able to get new things. And that was his rule. I guess you could say he was a tightwad, and my mom was the free spirit as far as money goes. My dad was a master of hoarding money away in various accounts that my mom didn't know about. My dad was also, it turns out, a master gambler. He knew the game of football, and I guess he was good cause he had an eye for talent and could tell a mismatch when he saw one. He rarely went with the Vegas picks, he went with his gut, on both the pro and college game. My mom had no clue, since he never bet more than he could afford to lose, plus he went to church and I think that is where he did his transactions. I am convinced one our Elders, a real estate guru, was his bookie, or dad was his bookie, I never knew.... I'll never forget, one day he was at work during the summer when I was about 8, and I remember stumbling onto a military ammo box that was in the bedroom closet. It was behind about 4 boxes of shoes of his, and underneath several Louis L'amour western books. The reason I was in the closet in the first place was that one of my hamsters, Mr. Whiskers (how original) had escaped his existence in the Hamster 'Quarium, and had crawled under the door and wiggled into his closet. Hamsters are quick when they want to be, and will multiply if you let them run wild in the house. I had to stop this rodent before he turned our house into one big Hamster-Rama.....

Anyway, for whatever reason, I thought the hamster had gotten into the box, so I opened it, and underneath a pile of papers from the military and some ribbons, there was a stack....let me rephrase this......a pile of money....I had never seen so much cash, ever.... I had both hands like I was holding a hamburger, a big ass hamburger, made of money...it had to be at least $20,000 because underneath that pile was a stack just as big, all neatly bundle up in $100.00 bills with bands around them.....I think this is what many married men refer to as the "rainy day fund" than many men, me included, have stowed away, away from the spending fingers of wives.
It smelled like old money, that stale, almost mildewy, old sweaty smell of wealth. The whole closet smelled like that. One thing was for sure, I couldnt tell my mom........TO BE CONTINUED>>>>>

We should have stopped drankin before daylight in New Orleans..

2009-01-23T19:27:00.005-06:00

New Orleans, La

I was a little skeptical about Bama this whole year. I knew this team inside and out from last year, and in the back of my mind, I still had my doubts. Why? Well, for one, we still had JPW who isn't my first choice for a QB. Ever. I think Saban kinda inherited him, he knew the offense and the basics, and rolled with it. SEC experience is invaluable, no matter what the skill level ,when you have someone who has been there and done that, it helps hold things together.

That is, when you can run the ball. How do you run the ball? You block up front, create seams or holes, the RB runs thru til he crashes into a LB or CB. Gain 3 to 4 yrds. Rinse,repeat til you have to throw. Hopefully, the CB are tired of making tackles for that type of gain and decide to come up closer to the line to blitz or stop the run. Now you play action pass over the top down field to get the CB's out of the way, usually to Julio Jones. He's a freak, and I cant wait to use him to his full potential, and I would like to see another decent receiver opposite him to take the pressure off of him. All of this stuff begins and ends with the O-Line. We were "ok" last year with all of our starters, once we lost some guys to suspensions, the wheels fell off. This year , we kinda suprised some people. We could run the ball and pound people. Most of it was to a line that had came together nicely and avoided positional musical chairs by not getting injured. They had a chemistry, no injuries and could depend on each other to do their job. And we had backs that would actually explode thru the hole and knock heads, everytime.....................Except when Andre got hurt before the Tulane game, and then we watched in horror as we tried to PASS THE DAMN BALL for some freaking reason. Something I cannot explain. We should have adequate talent to make up for Andre being out, yet, its like when he is not there, its a turnstile. Every position coach is a genius when you have an All-American at left tackle. Where your money is made is having a back up that can be adequate and fill in and not see the sacks start to pile up or the rhythm of the offense get disrupted. That is what coaching is. And I felt after watching the Tulane game, where Javier lifted our asses out of the fire single-handedly, I knew if anything EVER happened to Andre, our magical run would go "POOF" like a magic act, the illusion would be over. No more smoke and mirrors, the audience could see behind the curtain, and the party is over. Lucky for us he didnt get injured, blew holes open, gave JPW time to throw catchable balls to Julio. Now had Andre missed some major games, we would have been an easy 8-4. Period, or hell even worse, he was just that valuable. And I was not alone in that feeling, since if we couldnt run the ball, JPW will get happy feet since he will be getting blitzed at the DC whim, throwing picks and overthrowing wide open receivers, or underthrowing, or totally missing them altogether. That my friends is what you had in the Sugar Bowl. Our offense was actually a part of our defense when facing these Spread-Wide Open Throttle offenses by keeping them off the field. So as the game began, we had no Andre. And Mike Johnson, although a decent lineman, is not Andre. We start a drive, Julio(who we find out has a injury) misses a ball he catches 99 of 100 and it would be a first down, gets us settled, and we may get 3 points out of it. Saban is mainly a down and distance kinda guy, and we choke, get blitzed and go 3 and out, and Utah comes out, great QB play, and in the blink of an eye, 21-0. I think we lost the 1st quarter because we have never had to play from behind, its not in the script, and although we made an effort, we were never really in it or had the talent to "pass" our way back. I think if JPW gets suspended instead of Andre, we win the game running away. But one of our horses is out, its pretty bad, but when 2 horses are down, we were pretty much screwed. JPW is not Colt McCoy in any form or fashion, and basically, when we couldnt run or pass block, 9 in the box is the way to win, and they did it. And on defense, we basically have some issues to address thru recruiting, the most important is Speed Off the Corners! Especially against these spread teams, basically against Urban Meyers Utah and Florida offense. They simply were better prepared.
Hats off to em. But lets see where they end up next year, and where Alabama ends up. Our biggest games next year will be Ole Miss, then Florida. I think we are way ahead of the rest, depending how Les Miles does in the off season.

Better Late Than Never....End of Year/New Year Roundup

2009-01-14T18:37:00.005-06:00

We whip the

Barn, they fire Tubby, hire Chizik, we lose Andre and Mike

Johnson.....then it all comes crashing down in flames in New Orleans............

"I'm snazzy, and I love Olan Mills."

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>

What the next 10 yrs will look like
<<<<<<<<

Well, what a ride. I have been thru the highs and the lows of the financial market this year, and it was nice to have Bama lift many fans spirits in a surprising way, me included. Things are starting to turn in the right direction finally, and looks like Bama peaked for Auburn, and just didnt have the depth for Florida or Utah. My take has been well documented and I predicted 8-4. End of story. So 12-0 and undefeated in the SEC and SEC West Champs was a nice surprise.... But what I didnt count on was how good the freshmen Saban recruited were going to be. I kinda guessed Julio had the tools to be special, and I bet his breakout game is yet to be played once we get a QB that is decent. We had the line, and JPW had his moments, just Julio was our ONLY weapon, kinda like last year when we had DJ Hall and JPW would tend to lock onto him, making it easy to defend what little passing we had. Now, this year, we actually had a running game, it gave earlier opponents a little to think about, and I kinda think Georgia was suprised when JPW actually connected on some key passes that he usually overthrew. Turned out we were ok playing against sub-par competition since we really jumped on opponents early and got them out of their usually SEC style run first game plan, and most times they were looking at our tail lights as we ground the clock out. We kinda saw what Andre meant to the run game vs Tulane and that style of offense vs our defense. I knew we were thin, but damn, we struggled vs Tulane, and lucky for us we have Arenas pulling our asses out of the fire for that game. We tightroped the injury bug, got lucky and JPW managed the game well, and our line was really good on both sides of the ball.

Then Terrance Cody gets a strained MCL and we kinda revert back to last year since he was a force in the middle. I knew we would be strong vs LSU, even though Cody was about 75%.

And I felt with all that BS at Auburn, they would be either fired up to win or roll over and die.

They rolled over and died. I wanted to beat a good Auburn, and we got to beat up on the Special Ed version, the one that drools while eating a Ritz cracker. But they gloated enough, Tubbs walks out with 7 fingers and we promptly break em off one by one. Where is that streak now? Oh, yeh, in that suitcase filled with $5.1 million dollars, and I think Saban should get a cut of that, since he sealed your fate. Jimmy Sexton is a MF'n evil genius. Its his world, we pay to live in it.

I felt going into the SEC Champ game we were over our heads, but with Harvin out, we had a chance if we can keep the deep ball and big plays contained. It was a good game, and frankly, had we had some better breaks along the way, we could have had a shot. Florida is too talented and has too much of a head start on Saban as far as scheme and players. I thought Florida would beat us kinda in the fashion that Utah did, just speed, hurry up and throw, catch ya off guard and get us away from the run game and make JPW beat them......Newsflash---we had all of our arsenal and were in the game til Tebow took over. He made throws that were on target and his receivers were there to make plays. We played one of the best teams in the nation, they are just that much better, and I think games like that give you a look at where you really are. Since we had never played a game without our line at full strength, we never knew what to expect once that happened......ENTER THE SUGAR BOWL.....

Someone in Andre Smiths family on his behalf decided to talk to an agent. Big No-No. Then Saban has to suspend Andre for the Sugar Bowl. Thats gonna hurt, but its Utah, what could possibly go wrong? We are big, strong, still somewhat powerful. They are Mormons. And mainly white and shifty. No big deal. We will wear them down. Hell, we could take a week off and go drankin in the French Quarter. Who the f*&* is Utah? If Utah is gonna beat Bama, it will take some help....either injuries or penalties, or disrespect from the media and our coach, they will have to come out and play like its their Super Bowl.....well it all came together nicely...for Utah....

Ya see, had we been in the Big 10 or Pac 10 and gone undefeated, we would be in the BCS Championship game against a bigger name program, someone we could take seriously, someone we could get up for. We would be there because we didnt have to play a Conference Championship and we didnt lose a game. Florida would be out since they lost to Ole Miss. And we didnt lose and would keep our numbe 1 ranking. Now had we played Oklahoma and Andre gets suspended and Mike Johnson gets hurt, hell Oklahoma or Texas blows our doors off and we get embarrassed on the big stage. So thankfully, due to the BCS, Florida gets to win it all with a better team. Now if we had Andre and Mike, we could stay close vs Texas or Oklahoma and maybe have a chance to win. But we didnt vs Utah and got exposed big time. We need linemen on both sides and we need a platoon. A platoon that knows how to block and pass rush. Speed is what we need, some speed off the edge since we didnt get a whole lot of sacks. Sacks cause disruption, and throws timing off and basically causes havoc. We didnt have that. Utah did, and took advantage. We even came back after spotting them 21-0 in the first quarter. But it was not to be.......so Saban has some material to motivate and recruit what he needs to fill in the gaps...............Come on Feb 4, and God keep us out of the Fulmer Cup!

My Disdain for UT

2008-10-25T10:32:00.000-05:00

Knoxville, Tn Tenn. Hate Week, the 3rd Saturday in October.......

In honor of an easy target, I would like to give you some of my takes on Kenny Chesney songs as it relates to football...I came up with these pretty easy, since Chesneys lyrics and music structure, is pretty basic....

Kenny Chesney and a few of his hits….Holly, this is for you and for Phil Fulmer–

”Better as a Memory”:

I move on like a dinners prayer

Go thru a buffet like a levee breaks

Walk away as if I don’t care

Always blame Coach Cutt for my mistakes

Arguments I win cause I’m never wrong,

Throw screens when there’s no need

I run up the middle when your blitz is on

I always hangin at the Krispy Kreme..

My only friends are donuts;

That’s just all I know….

But I’m better as a memory than as your Coach...

And for his manlove of Tim Tebow:

“I still Think Tebows Sexy”

I still think Tebows sexy

It really turns me on

I’m always staring at him

While he running along

I like the way he’s passing and picking up first downs

I’m even kind of crazy about his end around,

He’s the only one who really understands what gets me

I think Tim Tebows sexyyyyyyy

Running these stadiums in the hot summer sun

Over by the gate lordy here he comes

With a basket full of scaples to go slice on a foreign kids pee pee…

A makeshift operating room and he comes up

A lil circle cut and spurt a lil blood

Just look at his face..... he ain’t a foolin meeeeeee

(repeat chorus)

Well its been awhile since my last post..we beat Georgia, Kentucky, Ole Miss and seemed to go into hibernation after halftime. The biggest loss we have is that we lost our "One Man Gang" in the middle, Terrence Cody to a MCL sprain...he should be back by LSU but I dont think he will be 100%.. If we dont do it this year, we should be set up for next year for a SEC Championship run. If we take care of business at Tenn, we will be sitting pretty after our homecoming game for LSU and Auburn. Auburn is at a point to where Tubbs has lost his team, just like Nick Saban did last year. And Tubbs seems to have quit on the administration and the fans. Auburn fans are all up in arms, since their expectations were to have a cakewalk to the SEC Championship. Well, after the much heralded Spread Eagle got shot down, it seems that Tony Franklin isnt the problem..he pulled the curtain back to what he had to deal with, and was basically walking into an ambush. Auburn was not even in the top 100 in offense last year, and he said they didnt have the talent to even attempt to get there in 2 or 3 years. So Tubbs freaks out and fires Franklin, the new guy, which in my book is a punk move. This disaster is what Tubbs and his cronies created, and what Nick Saban is helping to crush. If Auburn fans were not scared of the Nick Saban hire, well they should be. Auburn and Alabama cannot be equally good. It has never been equally good at the same time, one is always up when the other is down. Guess whose turn it is at the National table? We shoot to number 2, and Auburn falls apart. Nice knowing you Tubby and Fulmer, compliments of Nick Saban......Why is the Saban Effect so incredible? Other programs will model their coaching search after Alabamas last one, going after and throwing money at a proven coach. Results? Within 2 yrs, securing a top 5 ranking for one...the rest is up to the team. The coaching and recruiting takes care of itself. Now that Sabans players are off the LSU team, you kinda get to see what you are left with. A whacko coach with a power running game and a couple of ecletic QB's... I still think after they got depantsed by Florida, we have enough talent to win the game, although by the slimmest of margins.....

Who's Funeral is it gonna be???

2008-09-26T17:57:00.000-05:00

Athens, Ga 9-26-08

Well, with USC falling from the pinnacle losing to a bunch of midget Beavers Thursday night, the game between Georgia and Alabama has been elevated to another level, lawya....Alabama has been playing better than expected, and Georgia has been going along nicely, getting a little challenge via Spurrier and the Cocks 14-7, and now expectations for Alabama have been off the charts. I know this because I work with several Bulldog fans and Alabama fans.....Bulldog fans are waiting for a letdown since USC had theirs, and if history serves me right, its Georgia is due for one. The matchup that concerns most Dawgs is the matchup of Terrence Cody and their freshman center Ben Jones who is getting his 2nd start. The biggest concern I have is our secondary since we havent faced quality skill WR's and Georgia has 2 of them. Arkansas, Tulane and West Ky actually had good passing games against us....I havent seen much of a fast paced aggressive pass rush from the line, but we usually rush only 3 down linemen since Cody accounts for 2 gaps and blockers. I would hope we can make Stafford think on his feet, and thats where we can make him make a mistake....He is a good enough QB that if he has time, he will drill it and pick us apart. I think we can slow down the run, and I hope Stafford gets a little overconfident and floats a couple out there to be picked off. Turnovers will be the story of this game.

This game will show what kind of character or leader our JPW is this year. We havent had to play from behind and we havent had to go into the 2 min offense that we had to do last year, which it seemed that was the only way we could score. I hope our line is as good as advertised and we can exploit some matchups there since we are at 100% and they are missing some key starters. We win the line battle, we win the game. But I will say this.....if its the 4th quarter, we are down by 6pts, there is 2 mins left and we have the ball on our 35yrd line, and JPW is under center.....there will be a lot of Defibulators in use........

There is alot of mystery about this game. Are we that good? Is Georgia really that good? Is South Carolina that good to shut down Georgias offense? Are we on a bubble? Or are we just lucky that we havent had to face the injury bug and shuffle people around, thus interrupting the flow of our fragile offense? All I know is that I cant wait to watch this game unfold.....I think if we go play our game, which is run the ball, hit short passes, convert 3rd down and then stopping the run and stuffing the pass, we will be good to go.

But JPW's career win-loss vs Georgia,Fla,Fla State,and LSU is 0-8.....hope we can make it 1-8 tomorrow night.

Thank God Tulane did not have Matt Forte! Ugly win.....

2008-09-10T15:48:00.002-05:00

Lethargicville,Al.

Well, looks like CNS called it before it happened. Most Tide fans we watched the

game with could not figure out why we simply didnt line up and just pound

the rock, non stop. It was more than obvious that when we have film to watch on a

team, we can dissect them pretty good and get really prepared. It seems giving a team

like Tulane time to prepare, they will give you all you want for as long as you let them

hang around. We could run the ball effectively, but to me it seemed that for whatever

reason, we were bound and determined to make JPW throw the ball. Only God knows why...

I am of the opinion that JPW would overthrow Manute Bol. Trust me. He had Julio wide

open, and all he had to do is put it with in 2 yrds out in front, Julio would go GET it....but

in prime JPW style, the ball was behind Julio, and even behind the defender....I know we

had a few injuries on the line, but hell, our 3rd string should be able to block and move the

ball on the 3rd best team in Louisiana. My hat is off to Tulane, lucky for us we have

a few more playmakers, or that ugly game would have been 10-6. Defense played as well

as expected since they were on the field alot, and had to deal with an uptempo, one step and fire type offense to offset any pass rush. I am interested to see the Tulane-ECU game over watching

another sluggish performance against an inferior opponent. I guess we are further away from having a solid team. We cant play in the SEC like this without getting the brakes beat off of us, even by Arkansas. Maybe they are trying to show or not show new wrinkles in the offense, I dont get it. I also know that JPW cant seem to tell, based on down and distance, when he will get the shit knocked out of him on a blitz. After a few of the good licks he took, I bet he will make a mental note of it. If he had more awareness, and based on the Madden scale he would be a 12 out of a 100, he could have simply stepped up or made a "football move" and got out of the way.

Thank God we had Arenas. The motto for this game could have been "How to win with Special Teams"......since that is what kept us afloat til Javier tried to do a little too much and was a sitting duck for a helmet to helmet concussion. I will say this, the refs were consistent....they didnt call helmet to helmet the 5 other times it happened either. Mark Ingram looked good as usual and he plays with a huge chip on his shoulder. In 3 yrs, this team will be scary good. Like the Happening, when the Tide blows into town, people will start offing themselves.

I think we get back to basics, get everyone healthy, and run the ball, play solid Defense, and we should make the Georgia game worth our while.

Thunder and Lightning? Try Static Electricity and Flatulence

2008-09-05T13:43:00.000-05:00

ATLANTA, GA

Muahuahauahhahaha!!!! I am still laughing. Mostly from shock. To say our defense looked good is a little understatement. I can't really read much into it since all I heard before the game is that their O line is untested. Well, as far as test go, facing Terrence "(a nickname to be determined, I am gonna go with "Dozer") Cody, well the grade is Epic Fail! because he got off the ball so fast on most snaps, he was 2-4 yrds in the backfield shutting down the run. Then he of course drew the double and triple team which freed up more of our young players to make plays. Since they couldnt run the ball, it forced them into more passing situations, which allowed us to bring the pain. Plus the fact our offense put points on the board, which in turn takes the pressure off the D since it forces them to abandon the run so they can score points faster. Only problem is they have to complete passes and they didnt do that very well. Here is my take on the offense, the biggest concern from last year, but the most experienced/battle tested squad we have had in years:

The O-Line: Pretty much took Clemson behind the woodshed and made them LIKE IT. Came off the ball and gave room to our 15 backs to run and chip away 4-5 yrds to set up 3rd down conversions, which short 3rd downs set up either run/pass or play action for an easy 1st down since they were guessing. I think we could have announced to their D where we were gonna run it and Clemson still couldnt stop it.

JPW: Since the O-line took care of business, it allowed him to relax, settle down, make his passes on the mark, good reads and not try to do to much--make silly, soul crushing and game changing mistakes. The problem now is that he has set the bar really high for the rest of the season, and any thing less than what we saw vs Clemson, will draw critics with a quickness.He now has a solid O line, a running game between the tackles, and a huge target in the Predator know as Julio "Escalade" Jones, who, with his first TD vs Clemson, gets a free year of OnStar.

Mark Ingram: A guy we heard about, but really didn't get to hear much about since Saban likes to hold the cards close to the vest, and I am glad he did. He was the spark we needed and has the ability to run between the tackles, run good to the edge, and will run through people if needed. He will keep the LB's and the CB's coming up, which will help us go over the top to Julio when we need it. Seems to be a pretty good blocker too. He is our "Bootleg Knowshown Moreno". A good running game makes a good offense great. He pretty much stole the spotlight from Julio, but I am glad we have more than one weapon in our arsenal. With the line playing the way they have, there should be plenty of spotlight to go around.

Julio Jones: Lived up to his billing as a physical WR, strong off the ball and will light up lesser talented DB's for TD upon TD. Could possibly be our first Heisman Candidate in the history of the Crimson Tide, as long as we have a QB that can get him the ball. Scored his first TD, and with all the hype surrounding him, drew double coverage more than a few times, which helped McCoy get open and Walker, our mysterious Tight End, score 2 TDs. Young talent = immediate impact felt on both sides of the ball.

Terrence Cody and the D-Line: All you can say about this guy is: Holymuthafuckingoddayumshit! I'd hate to have to put on pads and have to try to move this guy for 4 quarters of football. There will be many centers re-thinking their career choices, as well as their O-line and O-coordinators. The type of player who is "A PROBLEM", and one that is hard to solve, barring any injury. He alone set the tone, made it hard for Static and Fart to run inside or outside, and kept the pressure off the LB's which helped the DB's do their thing and not have to come up so much on run support. A physical specimen to say the least, fired off the ball with quickness that surprised me and the O line for Clemson, since he was in the backfield or wreaking havoc for all 4 qtrs. If you can't run the ball, ya have to throw it, and its kinda hard to throw it with Sabans Blitz-O-Rama coming at ya. When the middle is shut down, things go better for the Defense all around. I hope we can keep up this intensity for the Georgia game.

Final Thoughts: I had a gut feeling we had something for Clemson. Hands down, probably the best prepared team I have seen since early 90's Gene Stallings team or a Defense that relentless since the 92 Championship team. Also, I cannot really tell if we were that great or if Clemson was really that bad, makes it hard to assess. This could be a year of some big surprises for us, and I hope the surprise is on the other team. I really hope this wasn't our best game of the season, and I would like to see this performance on Georgia,Auburn and LSU. Our advantage this year is that we are the only team in the SEC WEST with a returning starting QB. That lone point could be the difference in many close games if he plays like he did the other night. I think if we can keep these players in some sort of injury free status, we will have a better year than some people are giving us credit for. On the other hand, I wish they would not worry with ranking anyone til at least the 2ND week in October, keep us ranked at #24 for all I care. All I could tell is that JPW threw the ball, really with confidence and poise and stepped into it, no deer in the headlight look. The team played like they actually trusted each other, that when it was time to make a play, they could depend on their teammate to make that play. Its hard not to feel excited, but the words you will hear til the Georgia game is "Cautious Optimism". We should be able to go undefeated until the Georgia game, and we catch them in an awkward position. As most guys who follow gambling know, any time there is a cross country game in the pros or college, the one that traveled and has to play the following week usually is not favored since the travel does take a toll. Know this: The road to Ga's National Champ campaign starts or ends with Alabama. Write it down---we will be healthy, and our young players will have more game experience and ready to go, where Georgia will be finishing their game in Arizona. Since this is a college game, there will be no down time for them to recover. Could be a little hangover effect. It will be a good game, just like last year, and I think we are much improved, and the players we lost actually were replaced by better talent. Dont know if I can say that about Georgia, though they have added some young talent on the offense. The most telling game will be how

Bama comes out against Tulane. If they have the same fire and intensity, then this team will have the character to hopefully make this something special. Rule the trenches, rule the WEST!!!

ITS DEFINITELY A NEW TEAM AND A NEW YEAR!!! ROLLLLL TIDE ROLLLLL!!!111!!111!!!

T-29 and Counting......

2008-07-30T17:36:00.000-05:00

Tuscaloosa,Al Nick Saban,above, shows he really is a "hands-on" coach.

Folks, we are in the home stretch for our collision course with Clemson at the end of August. For the next month, I will be updating all things Alabama on a weekly basis since
my schedule is too hectic to do otherwise. Our offseason has been a rollercoaster of sorts,
and now our LB corps are wafer thin, due to off the field issues and medical reasons.
I envision a few break out players getting noticed in the Clemson game, and I believe
Julio Jones will make the biggest impact of all the true freshman on the field. His raw
skill and size will help him make small plays into big gains, and will help JPW look a little more settled this year, which as we know, as JPW goes, so does the Crimson Tide.
We all know we need him to hit all his marks this year for us to have a fighting chance to even get near a 8-4 finish. We need all the momentum we can get and Clemson didn't exactly impress me against Auburn. The biggest thing we need is some help on defense, because we could score, we just would get somewhat of a lead, and could not stop our opponents from scoring, which in turn, usually meant we lost the game in the second half, mistakes not withstanding.
Basically, if we can squeak out a win over Clemson, it should do something for us to get some sort of buzz going, hopefully get us in a rhythm so we can get on a roll offensively and stay on it, all the way to the Arkansas and Georgia game. It would be nice to be undefeated AFTER the Arkansas game rolling into Jaw-ja, hopefully with a somewhat healthy defensive line to help the thin LBs. This can be the year that sets us up for a run deep into the post season for next year. I think if all goes to plan, 2010 could be OUR year. By that time much of the ballyhooed talent in the SEC should have moved up to the next level and Bama should be making its mark.
The WIN that all Bama fans want is the Auburn game. That will set off a chain of events that should devastate the Barners for the next few years, since they havent restocked their pantry with equal or better talent than they will have on the field this year. We got some players now, and we are gonna get more than they will ever think about getting. We are the proverbial freight train that is fixing to head downhill with no brakes as far as in state recruiting goes. We have a really good QB heading our way, and by that time he should have a decent supporting cast to make it all come together.

A-DAY GAME: 1.2 million to attend...Nick Saban to be named "SEC Walking Boss of the Year"

2008-03-30T09:47:00.000-05:00

"Now, pretend this guy is Lee Ziemba and he is gonna try to chop block you when your not lookin, do what you have to, but never leave your knees unprotected, he is a sneaky bastard."

The 2008-2009 University of Alabama Crimson Tide Freshman Class, as interpreted by Tommy Tuberville......
Except our players actually do smoke cigarettes when playing defense during the play......

NSD: National Signing Day or Nick Saban Day?

2008-02-08T23:36:00.001-06:00

Foley,AL: Julio Jones, a man of few words, commits to Alabama.....Bama fan suicide watch called off....

The legend of Nick Saban grew a little larger today with the capture of Julio Jones, Jerrell Harris, Mark Ingram, and a whole list of others that are here:http://insider.espn.go.com/ncf/recruiting/tracker/school?schoolId=333&season=2008&action=login&appRedirect=http%3a%2f%2finsider.espn.go.com%2fncf%2frecruiting%2ftracker%2fschool%3fschoolId%3d333%26season%3d2008

And as far as in state goes, Alabama did not lose one recruit to Auburn, thanks to their turmoil with the firings and resigning of the OC and the DC, both for greener pastures....Most would show this Alabama/Auburn saga as the Star Wars triology, with Alabama being the Death Star under construction and Nick Saban as Lord Vader...Well the Dark Side just got a helluva lot stronger with the Rivals number one recruiting class committing to the Dark Side. And we got a shitload of Storm Troopers and will be running a full on Kevin Steele Sith-Lord Defense ......

So now we have some sure enough studs that should be able to help us like Harvin/Tebow helped Florida and Moreno helped Georgia..... Rumor is that Notre Dame and Miami got some good players, but I dont think they have the coaching to put the pieces of the puzzle together as fast as Nick Saban can. I believe we are 3 yrs away from the SEC championship which should put us in the hunt for the MNC game since it looks like if you win the SEC, your in the MNC game and usually the winner by default since you have to play tOSU or some other poseur who shouldnt be there. IT seems the media or ESPN simply hates Nick Saban. Rivals-the real experts on recruiting-pegged Alabama as the #1 class, where as ESPN has Alabama as Number 3. As far as short term goals for this year is to beat Auburn, then beat Georgia and Tenn.....Georgia will be the toughest game along with Clemson, then Auburn. Mark it down, payback for Miss. State and ULM will be painful and hopefully full of death and dismemberment and relentless since Saban believes in running up the score, and routine beheadings on the 50 yrd line....Hopefully once the SEC keeps killing everyone year in year out, there will be a playoff to prove once and for all every conference should have a title game to send someone to the playoff, maybe 4 teams or 8 teams......

Opie Taylor Leaves Mayberry for Texas.....It begs to question......Did Major Applewhite actually coach after the Miss. St game? Conspiracies abound..

2008-01-17T15:57:00.000-06:00

Austin,Tx Major Applewhite, former redheaded Texas Longhorn QB and now former redheaded Lil- Opie- Cunningham-Crimson Tide offensive something or another, is now back(clap clap clap) deep in the heart of Texas as a new and improved-lateral sorta kinda move from the sketchy title of Alabama's "Offensive Coordinator" to the even more sketchy title of Asst Equipment Manager for the girls Softball team......No, really, he is involved in the football team somehow someway to the tune of $300,000 large.....And with the added bonus of no more Nick Saban or JPW and his rag tag band of offensive linemen.....I am sure Major is still getting phone calls at home, at night as we speak...some how some way, Tide fans have a knack of getting Asst. Coaches PrePaid Cell phone numbers, even though they are given a new one every week to throw off the drunk dialin' offensive geniuses that call themselves Tide fans....

This saga began last year when Nick Saban was announced as the Head Coach and he went on a mission to put a staff together....Many raised an eyebrow, or both eyebrows when it was announced he would be the O- Coordinator..... We had seen this before when we hired a young coach named Mike Shula.....except we paid him ALOT more to learn on the job. I am sure MA will be a great O-Coordinator, he just didnt have the talent or felt he didnt have the talent to run what he wanted to run. The biggest gripe Tide fans had was the offense, at times, seem to magically score at will for 1 or 2 quarters, then it would seem that the magic would fade away and would not be able to run up the score or sustain any sort of drive to run out the clock, therefore pinning our thin defense against the wall to hang on barely while the other team came back or relinquishing the lead altogether....perfect example was the bowl game against Colorado. Simply jumped their asses and put 27 points up, then "poof", just like that, the magic was gone, then Colorado went on a run....Its like we have a fast break, run out of gas, and cant recover like a out of control stock car ,then let the pack catch up and pass us instead of standing on it and trying to lap 'em.....

And that my friends, besides the ritual shooting ourselves in the foot when we are in the game with PICK 6's and fumbles and all that rest, was why there was gonna be some changes made. In Nick Sabans words "We just didnt FINISH"..... On the upside, recruiting has the future shining a little brighter and hopefully if we can put some back to back classes together, we can be contenders for the SEC Crown, which in turn should put us in a spot to play for it all in the future. For now, no matter how small our victories are, we need some positives to string together. The main concern I have is that this will be JPW's number 3 in the line of O-Coordinators, and I hope this one will be a charm. I just hope we can run the damn ball on 3 and 3 instead of throwing it out of bounds and over the press box, which basically is why our 3rd Down Conversion Rate sucked----thats the one stat teams that are successful have a high percentage in converting, thus sustaining drives, keeping your defense off the field and hopefully getting to the red zone to put some points on the board.

They were who we thought they were.....still....and tOSU is O fer 9, O fer 2 in BCS MNC vs SEC.....in a muthafockin Row!! SEC Roxxors!

2008-01-11T13:43:00.000-06:00

Well, as it goes, tOSU could be the BCS version of the Buffalo Bills in BCS championship game, at least vs SEC teams..... they cant take the same path next year, they will have to dodge one bullet in USCw to start out the season....I dont think we will see tOSU for the next few years. We saw it last year and we saw the song and dance, word for word, step for step, in this game this year. tOSU, with it and Michigan(cant really count them since they weren't healthy and lost to App State, but showed up vs Florida) being the only dominant teams in the Big 10, tOSU wins out and gets a spot in the game they shouldnt have been in, but with help from other teams losing. LSU battles a damn tuff schedule week in and week out , mostly coming from behind with a deep level of talent and Senior leadership on both sides of the ball, and basically were built for this type of game, on a big stage. Many a classic game this year.....tOSU cant say that they were really tested, where they had to make that dramatic comeback, or that their season came down to one play, week in and week out.....if tOSU played in the SEC, they go 6-6, tops, and thats saying they can beat Vandy, Ole Miss and Miss State, maybe Fla....and Arkansas,South Carolina, plust 2 OOC games, dont see them getting past LSU, Auburn, Alabama, Tennessee,Alabama(with all its starters intact), Georgia,

Where on the other side of the ball, tOSU jumps out to a quick lead, then once the adrenaline wears off, LSU talent just takes over and runs up 31 unanswered points on the "best" defense,on paper, in the country. The only problem was that the "best" hasnt played anyone worth a damn to get that "best" title.....Best? In relation to what? High school programs?

tOSU is young, has some talent, but the way the system is set up, I think we will see plenty more of this SEC vs some other conference.....SEC was WAY up last year, I think this year the level will be about the same since there are,per capita, more coaches in this league that have a BCS Championship rings than any other....I still think LSU beats USCw, even with a plus one this year.....I am not sure that LSU ever really broke a sweat or got worried. tOSU on the other hand, played like THEY were LSU with all the undisciplined yellow flags they drew at crucial times. Lsu has played quality competition, and lost. In OT. Twice. All the other games they usually played down to their level of competition , then pulled a rabbit outta the "Mad Hatter" to win the game.. LSU was built for this game, tOSU wasnt and folded since they didnt know how to play from behind. LSU took the foot off the gas, then tOSU scored a pick 6, and Les Miles with 90 secs left, kept going for the kill and scored again, just so tOSU would remember it.

The SEC is a murderers row as far as talent pool goes these past 3-5 yrs....seems to be getting better and better...and the coaches know if they can win the SEC, they have a chance to play for it all... I think Georgia, maybe LSU, may be in the mix...Auburn has a new O-coord and a new D-coord, plenty of experience, just dont know if anyone can hang with Georgia once they get dialed in for their run.

BCS....What we have learned.....it sucks...make it go away....

2008-01-05T09:31:00.000-06:00

Well, we are here to comtemplate the fate of the football season that was 2007.

What I have learned from this year is that I am thankful that I dont gamble on a routine basis, and that if you want to know who really knows whats going on in College Football, its Vegas....Vegas has been on the money, if ya dont count about 15 times this past season where the #2 team kept getting 10 mins of fame, then got beat on ESPN on a regular basis it seemed by unranked opponents....Alabama went out on a high note, still need to find a way to put teams away, we can jump out to a 27 point lead for one half, then do nothing but let the other team come back when we should be trying to run up the score... Florida played an inspired Michigan team (Lloyds last stand) and forgot to bring their secondary with them...The Heisman curse didnt affect Tebow as much as it affected the defense.....kinda like the Brady Bunch in Hawaii when Greg finds that idol that brings them bad luck......Speaking of bad luck and Hawaii, Colt Brennan and his overrated team got the beat down of their lives by Georgia in the first of many bowl blowouts, courtesy of the BCS...I think Colt may have lacerated his spleen and may have to donate a kidney after that game, it was painful me to watch...He would have been better off if he was running from 4 guys driving Hondas chasing and hitting him in a Walmart parking lot than behind that O-Line....My take after that game is that Samoans cant pick up the blitz, or they lose all their superhuman strength on the flight over, unless June Jones made them swim over...every time I hear the name June Jones, I instantly think "Cult Leader"....and his cult didnt know how to block...After the Michigan game, I watched USC try to kill those poor guys from Illinois.....why they were there and not Georgia or Mizzou, I guess we will never know, but Illinois vs Hawaii and USC vs Georgia/Mizzou, or even Georgia vs Mizzou, would have been more entertaining than the matchups that we were forced to painfully watch..Watching a great college team beat up on a very good high school team in a bowl isnt right.....

Then there was the Stoopid Bowl, REDUX x 4.......I have two words for Bob Stoops----Owen Schmidtt.....the result of some WFV labratory genome project where they crossed a wild boar with a rhino and a human and this guy was the result, who essentially broke the game open for the Mountaineers, who were playing without a head coach, but were playing FOR the hopes Stewart would BE the new head coach...somehow, just like in the Arkansas game, a fullback breaks free and as the announce described it, "like a runaway beer truck", Owen was rumbling to the end zone. Then after a failed 2 point conversion after a score, Stoops tries an onside kick, and gives WFV only 40 yrds to score, which they did on the next play. And then Noel Devine and Pat White, with their new "Jumper" offense, scored at will and often...They actually bend time and space, and during the NBC broadcast, I thought the "Jumper" show was about this offense because ever time a little promo would pop up for the show, you would see Pat White or Noel Devine on the screen...

Now to the big game...LSU vs Ohio State....

Both of these teams took 2 entirely different paths to get here, some with luck and balls, and some by taking an easier path than most....

LSU battled thru the SEC, week in and week out, had a tougher schedule than tOSU, incurred injury after injury, and even started a backup QB in the SEC championship game and still manage to get to the MNC game. Since Georgia didnt play in the SEC championship game, they couldnt go although they were playing good football and were ranked higher than LSU intially.

If Georgia would have taken care of business against USCe and Tenn, its a non issue. The sins of your past, no matter how great the present in the BCS,will always haunt you. Another thing that kinda puzzles me, the Big 10 doesnt play a championship game. But yet they can reap benefits by not doing so, and it can count against someone who does? WTF? So they play all their games, finish the season 2 weeks earlier since they didnt have a bye week, sit back and let all the other teams eliminate themselves from contention since several were knocked off by conference rivals and in their championship game...Idle is the way to go!!! Mizzou handles Kansas and then OU handles Mizzou, WFV falls to Pitt, and boom---tOSU is #1....

While LSU has to go play one more game.....That my friends, is why I think for sure tOSU, isnt the best team in the country, and I'm pretty sure USC could beat LSU or tOSU....

If tOSU wins, its by 3 points or less, if LSU wins, its by 6 pts or more.....I think LSU has more talent, but are undisciplined in many areas of the game.....tOSU looks to me if you stop the run, you stop them cold....If LSU can turn their playmakers loose early, they should jump out to a early lead and force tOSU to throw, and I think with the pressure Dorsey and the crew should be able to put on the QB, should throw his timing off and should be able to win a hard fought game. tOSU needs to win this one to show that last year was a fluke. LSU needs to win this one for the good of college football and all that is sacred, if they dont, watch all the Athletic directors start scheduling creme puffs for every game to go undefeated with a little help from their conference rivals, they too see the big dollars a BCS bowl brings, why not? It may work for tOSU........

We are the MNC of the PetroSunPoulanWeedeaterDepends Independence Bowl

2007-12-31T10:17:00.000-06:00

(L to R- Gilberry and Dj Hall end their careers on a high note, while I just got high on whiskey)

Congrats to JPW and Wallace Gilberry for being Offensive and Def MVP's for the game.

I wish Wallace had another year to use, but I wish him luck in the Senior Bowl and the NFL combine. He plays with alot of heart and soul and emotion. Hopefully he gets drafted and will be able to play.

Dj Hall had a pretty good game, and he should do ok in the pros. Basically, he is a pro style receiver that didnt have a pro style QB, and that kinda hurt him a little bit. He will be a good free agent and should compete for a starting job for whoever needs help.

On the lighter side, dont ever play a drinking game where the Alabama offense and Bob Davie as an announcer is involved. Orson from EDSBS and Peter Bean decided to do a live blog/drinking game during the Petro-Sun Bowl, and basically just made shit up as they went along, so you drank nearly every play....thank God it only went on for a half.

Next year looks promising, and I'll end this years entry looking for a brighter New Year for the Tide....Top 3 recruiting class and things should happen for us next year if we play smart....My only wish for next year is to beat the hell outta Auburn. Period. Then the reign of terror begins in T-town and darkness settles on the Plains.....

Well the "Wheel of Coaching Fortune" took a weird turn..

2007-12-17T19:04:00.000-06:00

(Pictured above, Coach Rod and, to the right, Rita Rodriquez, his lovely wife)

Well lookee here....the University of Michigan done real good and gittin them a Coach from WFV!! Old "agreement in principle" himself...Coach Rich "Fear the Sombrero" Rodriquez and his wife... He turned down Alabama last year, or did he just flex his negotiating muscle to get a better deal for himself?....only to realize how much easier it will be to get to the MNC via Michigan since all you have to do in the Big 10 is win the Big 10 by beating tOSU....and I think he can do that once he gets Terrell Pryor-the next Vince Young.....signed up...
I guess he looked at the SEC landscape, looked at how weak Alabama was depth wise and decided to hold off for a better opportunity....Cant say I blame him....He probaly knew the type of money we were gonna offer Saban and we werent even in the same ball park when we offered RR the job....Wish him luck...I am sure he will have success against tOSU, and Les Miles is currently on a 24hr suicide watch.....maybe this will motivate him to smash tOSU even more to show Michigan the type of man they missed out on, and true to Les Miles form, he will take a shot after he beats tOSU by 30 pts of better with his "damn fine football team, coached by me, for me, via me,me me me me me me..........."
Oh yeh while I am at it, lets talk about goddamn Tony Romo and TO, mainly Tony Romo....and his curseded hot and up all night" Chicken of the Sea" Jessica Simpson...I was 14-0 and destined to win it all ......til this fucked up week....all the hard work, the studying, the Double Double with Tony Romo/TO on the same fantasy team......and this is how Jessica Simpson pays me back??
By some strange injury to Tony Romos fingers....on his throwing hand???? Probaly up til 4am with her doing some bizarre sex act with both hands and some jumper cables and some peach preserves.....Anyway...damn her to Disney......

ये Bowl season

2007-12-14T18:18:00.000-06:00

Well its that time of year.....Bowl season....lets see if the SEC is really gonna do it all.....

Tebow won the Heisman....wont be his last.....he was almost non existent since his mom got dysentery when she was in the Phillipines on a missionary trip...took some drugs, and they told her that Timmy would have severe damage from the drugs and that she should consider other options.....thank God for Fla fans, she didnt do anything and the only side effect is that she created some sort of Superhuman Football Mutant....I cant prove it, but he seems to have some sort of Donnie Darko space-time disruption thing going on....If there was a Tim Tebow life story, would Chuck Norris be worthy to play the part?

I hope this year will settle the argument that the SEC is the best conference when all the dust settles.....What I hate the most is damn ESPN's bullshit bowl playoff....they screwed LSU out of the championship to further their love for all things USC...and actually had the balls to put Oklahoma in the BCS game with USC....Shenanigans I tell you!!! Didnt they already play that game that Auburn was supposed to play in 2004? I think Auburn would have still lost to that USC team.... but not as bad as Okla. did....it was pathetic... I think tOSU is the new Okla. when it comes to going to the BCS championship, then getting beat twice....Pretty successful in getting there, just cant put it all together...

Now Rich Rod is in the mix for the Michigan job...Funny, I think I've seen this song and dance before...looks like UM is just trying to look busy....Jesco White wont let RR leave WV...

What will be interesting is the Auburn-Arkansas game.....next year....Petrino, who tried to oust Tubbs at Auburn, the job Petrino REALLY wanted....vs Tubbs, the man who survived Jet-Gate and will probaly exact his revenge in a bad way vs Petrino....it WILL get ugly since this is personal.....plus this new hire of Tony Franklin is a big F/U to upper admin for trying to screw him over for Petrino..should be interesting to see how well Auburn can get up to speed...

Back to the AU-Arkansas game, Petrino will be outgunned since all his weapons will go pro...

I will say this....I feel 90% confident that everyday that goes by that Les Miles will be at Michigan once he beats tOSU......and gets his check....looks to me he has had it all along and people just want to push it and push it cause they feel they need an explanation...

He has talk to them and you have to be completely insane to believe he was "giving advice" on candidates.....That would be like your girlfriend you've been dating and you know she holds a candle for an old ex-husband or ex-boyfriend, and you want to marry her and she is getting cold feet..sketchy at best since she knows you want a long term commitment..and you know shes been acting weird....you actually believe if she tells you that she is on the phone and is giving him advice on who to marry and what type of girl he should go for? Really? I call bullshit....

If for some weird reason he doesnt go, you can bet your ass Lloyd Carr fucked this up for damn sure.....Note to Carr....Let Miles come home....he will show you how to beat tOSU....

LSU over tSOU 35-21....then 20 mins later, with gatorade still on him, he is the new Michigan coach...film at 11....

What happens when Delusion becomes Reality??

2007-12-08T10:03:00.000-06:00

Well looking thru my new Crimson Tinted Glasses, what I see is a team who, like many have said before, was divided on how to play for a coach like Saban after playing for a coach like Shula. Only 1 senior, Darren Mustin, plus 2 juniors were voted by the team to be "Permanent Captains" for this season, so it should tell you a little about the 20 plus Seniors who are leaving, and only 1 gets voted and 2 Juniors are voted over the remaining Seniors. Anytime a Junior beats a Senior in a leadership position is bad, but when 2 Juniors get it, thats terrible.

Now looking toward the future, I think when we get Julio Jones, we should be right there with Georgia in recruiting....Give Evil Richt credit, he has stocked Georgia for a MNC run for the next few years....If we can string 2 or 3 classes like this one, and at least reach the SEC Championship game in the next few years and compete, we should see a vast improvement on the field over last years team. I would at least hope the Seniors on this team will have enough pride to put forth 100% effort to win this bowl game, but I just dont see it. Only Wallace Gilberry and Darren Mustin will probaly give their all, maybe DJ Hall will finally have a game like he did vs Tenn...he needs it to move his stock up and maybe go to the Senior Bowl if he wants to go to the NFL....Next years buzzwords will be "Consistency and Finish" We were somewhat consistent til the LSU game, then we didnt finish anything....but know this...the teams that beat us, that shouldnt have beat us....ULM, MISS ST, Troy, UAB Intramural Flag Football,Little River Comm College, Hoover High School, you guys just made the list...the retribution will be painful and ugly, more along the lines of 48-0 in the first half.....we will hang "half a hundred" on all of these teams, and they will like it!!!

Moving forward to bowl season....Look, you have to win your Conference Championship to get into the BCS Championship...Period....Georgia fans can whine all they want, but put the shoe on the other foot....Had Georgia won the SEC Championship game, and LSU was in the same spot as Georgia is now, then had LSU jumped into the BCS game over Georgia, the city of Atlanta would have exploded.....Yeah, we know there isnt a rule about that, but there is common sense.....does Oklahoma ring a bell from 2003? That was BS, but it gave LSU and Saban a waltz to the Crystal Trophy.....

Another thing, if you are gonna have to win your Conference, why not keep it uniform throughout the NCAA D-1? The Big 10 is a joke, add 2 more teams and force them to have a Championship game so they can have a chance for tOSU to get their season screwed up like LSU screwed up Tenns. season a few years back...all Tenn had to do is get past LSU and boom, they were in the BCS...LSU put that dream to bed real quick....

There is a link that a few of my fellow "delusional"Alabama fans have posted on YouTube...I will link that here the next time I post....if you are for or against Alabama...you will find this link funny....sad, but I actually know fans that will be depicted in that video....

Well....thanks to ten years worth of bullshit...we are where we thought we were...6 in a row to Auburn! :(

2007-11-27T18:53:00.000-06:00

What Tubberville will look like for keeping the Auburn job

"Well Sexton says if I win the 6th one, he can get the buyout waived...honestly, I hate it here, Nick...its not gonna be as fun since you showed up, and Sexton says since you got paid, nows the time for me to strike when the irons hot and with Walmart paying the tab, I may be able to match your paycheck...if your ever up that way and need to get a deal at Sams Club on a TV or some Tyson chicken, look me up..Good luck with Julio, I hear his mom wants to the Reggie Bush treatment. Well, just got a text from Jimmy, the dummys at Auburn fell for it, well gotta go get paid....if ya beat me 2 yrs in a row, I'll probaly get run outta town anyway....."

Well after probation, suspensions, Seniors and Shula recruits pretty much quitting, we are at the end of the rope and end of the season. Running off players who wont buy in must be the best job as a coach, cleaning house and getting his players in there and replacing the ones who are taking up space......Good riddance to the half assed and half hearted.

Saban knows what it takes and what kind of players it will take to compete on a serious level week in and week out, for the duration. We didnt have that luxury this year. Auburn was just deeper and more talented and just as boring as we were on offense. Thankfully we will have somewhat of a lil bit deeper defense and hopefully JPW will improve vastly and not end up as bad as Brandon Cox, a 5th yr senior who looks like he is fresh off the bus from a local high school. JPW play this year suggest he regressed, maybe he and whoever is calling the plays next year will have a lil more communication and help him get better. Maybe we can have a real offensive line that can gel and be more physical to take the pressure off him. Lord knows he

does not need pressure. He doesnt improvise well since 1/2 of his INTS either go the distance to score for the other team, or sets them up for an easy 2 yrd score at the apex of the game, and usually this is the knife that cuts the throat.....our own throat....

I can say this....give Saban 9 yrs, and he would have at least had 2 MNC and at least 3 SEC championships.......What does Tubs have to show for his tenure? Well 6 wins over instate rival is commendable.....I am sure just 1 SEC championship has got some money people in Auburn thinking about a change...maybe in another 9 yrs they can get another SEC championship...but looking at the level of competion and the landscape (GA/FLA) and with Nutt moving to Ole Miss, and the coaching being shaken up in the West, I am sure the coaching turnover will make it more competitive. With Saban stocking up and getting all the 4/5 star talent in Alabama, Tubs days are over as far as streaks go, I promise...Everytime Auburn has some "million dollar talent" and they are poised to make a run at the MNC, they trip themselves up. Doesnt matter, Tubs is going to Arkansas since Nutt bolted to Ole Miss.

Look, I am a realist....I knew when we got Saban it would change the face of the SEC, at least in our division....In a conservative estimate,by 2009/2010 with 2 or 3 good classes we should be able to win the West and at least compete for the title against either Georgia or Florida...They have some juggernauts there on the offensive side of the ball and I think Florida has the youngest and biggest talent, plus they have been to the big dance before and should be able to get there again..they just need to get a better defense ASAP to keep from getting blown out by Georgia again...by that time if they dont have a defense, I am sure they will just try to score 50 pts a game, and hopefully Tebow and Moreno and Harvin will go pro as JRs...

Roll Tide 10-2 in 2008

Croomed and Doomed.....Welcome to the Shula flashback channel

2007-11-19T19:08:00.001-06:00

Well we lost to Miss. St...then we lose to ULM...I think this is what Coach Saban referred to as rock bottom....He has been trying to relay a message to his "new" team throughout the year, to the public, to his team and the media that this team has some sure enough half assed slackers....according to one of my friends that is a G.A .in the Athletic dept, after the game, Saban told everyone in the locker room toSIT DOWN AND SHUT THE FUCK UP! and no one said a word for 5 mins....

He finally paced around and let 'er rip with the following:(paraphrased)

"There are 10% of you that are glad to be here, you show up at practice, day in and day out, perform on a high level and contribute to the success of this team. I want to thank you for that.

There is another 10% of you that TRY to perform at a high level and thats all I can ask you for.

The other 80% have the talent and ability to perform at a high level, but choose not to...those 80% need to see if they are committed, and if not, fiqure out how to pay for their education next year, cause it wont be on this team." Well its a fact..there are players on this team who are counting the days and marking them off til the end of the season..... He was just letting them know that scholarships are renewable, and if they are taking up space, he will cut dead weight. What I saw in this game is like a power struggle, old players from the other regime that want to do things their way, and I am sure Saban used this game to prove a point...hey, you practice your way, play the game your way, and BoomMotherfucker, thats what you get.....he used the analogy of "hitting rock bottom" that usually gets the addicts attention before a change is made, and I am sure they found the bottom after this game, and hopefully we can cut the dead weight and move on. Cant wait to purge some of these losers that cant get over themselves. DJ was only suspended for only the half, since it was Senior Day and Saban wanted him to at least play 1/2 a game at his last game as a Senior in B-D Stadium, and he wasnt suspended for the whole game like it was wrongly reported....If they are a halfway decent team, they will respond since I know they are getting it put on their asses this week in practice. I hope so....... And at the press conference, he didnt compare losing a football game to 9/11 or Pearl Harbor, he simply showed them as times of disaster and how people came together to put the pieces back...and this game vs LM was as close as a disaster on the football field that you can get, he is simply pointing out this game after the fact will show what this team is made of in the way it responds to adversity...Basically telling the team---hey we did it your way this week, your the laughing stock of the nation, now we are gonna do it my way, How Does It Feel???? I am sure the feeling aint the best in the world. If I was a player, I would not show my face until I won the next game.

I hope they feel good since they embarrassed themselves beyond reason.....I hope they never forget this feeling of being a loser..maybe the underclassmen that come back next year will carry something from this and step up to be better leaders on this team since there seem to be no Senior leadership, which means Character and Heart, which Alabama has never had since Croyle and Prothro. and Demeco Ryans donned a Crimson jersey.

Alabama vs Mississippi St....Trap Game???

2007-11-09T19:25:00.000-06:00

Well, this is the game that got Mike Shula fired and basically coined the phrase" Getting Croomed".

This year, they look a little better than they did last year, basically filling this years mold of SEC teams, winning games your not supposed to and getting blown out on the games you should win. Case in point, KY v MISS ST, Ky knocks off LSU, and KY gets Croomed. Yes , it happened in a big way. This game, like most, will be decided by 3rd down conversions and turnovers. Should be perfect weather in the 'Hood that is Starkville.

Don't ever make a wrong turn in Starkville. Trust me. I think we will be able to run the ball and should be able to stop them. They aint LSU by not stretch of the imagination, but we aint Kentuck, we can pass and run the ball pretty good, and Miss St does not have the weapons LSU had. If we can get everyone 1/2 healthy, we should win by 10, barring any boneheaded mistakes coming off such an emotional letdown. I hope we beat em down and remind them that they are Miss St and thats all they will be. Auburn turned the ball over 6 times and almost ended up winning it, so we dont need to spot them any points. LSU gave us 4 turnovers and we almost took advantage of it. We need to come out of this game healthy, put this one away early, and get ready for Auburn. I would love to hang 35 pts on Auburn and crush their souls....only after we hang 45 on MSU...I think if we jump on them early and often, they fall apart. Its a freshmen QB, fuckin hit him where he dont want to come back in the game....Destroy Destroy Destroy!!! Hopefully Georgia fuckin humiliates Auburn and physically beats them down to where we can mop them up in a few weeks!!! ROLL MFN TIDE!!

We came close, alas, no Gumbo......

2007-11-09T18:57:00.001-06:00

All the hype lived up to its billing...Alabama kept coming back to lead the game and simple missed coverages, tackles and bad calls by the worst Refs in the SEC still couldn't keep Alabama out of the game. There for awhile, LSU tried to give the game to Alabama, but Alabama would find a way to screw it up. We were going down the field to get the lead back, JPW throws a pass that Caldwell dove and got, and the refs said incomplete? Bullshit! So now, the diving catch is obsolete? Fuck that. Then,cue the Rex Grossman side of JPW!!

Alabama got it back, but safety Chad Jones burst up the middle to sack John Parker Wilson and knock the ball away. Then the Bama nation yelled "GODDAMNSHITMUTHAFUCKINHOLDTHEGODDAMNBALLDUMBASSS!!! It rolled along the turf until LSU's Curtis Taylor fell on it at the Tide 4. Perfect timing for a QB meltdown, at the apex of the game we had scraped and clawed and overcame bad calls, to throw it all the way in this punk ass fashion, was fucking unbelievable.
Two plays later, Jacob Hester dove over from the 1 with 1:26 left and LSU was still in the title race.
And even after all that, we still had a chance if Keith Brown catches and hangs on, but he got rocked and that was that. I will say this, LSU has talent, but has no discipline, and if they dont get it together against a deeper team, it will cost them. Les Miles calling a screen pass from his own end zone, that we pick off, would have been a Pick 6 against the likes of OSU or Oregon or Kansas.. I guess its all a mute point since if we would have went to OT, they win anyway since no one even tried to block Dorsey. My voice was hoarse from yelling, my BP thru the roof, and in one fell swoop, my game buzz was gone when JPW dropped the ball. Goddammit, he look Clausenesque in his futile attempt to fuck the game away. Its a love-hate relationship with JPW and til he throws another TD, its full on hate mode. Especially if he does not show up for the Miss State game.... I'll cover that one next....

A Tale of Two Coaches-Alabama vs LSU

2007-11-02T14:54:00.000-05:00

LIKE A SNAIL ON THE EDGE OF A RAZOR>>>>MY GAMEPLAN>>>>>>MY NIGHTMARE

"Uhhh Let 'er Rip....not my underwear!!"

TAFFFFFYY!!!

Well this week is finally here. This is our biggest game of the year so far, for many many reasons. For Nick Saban, this is the game he circled on his calendar once he got here after so many LSU fans were talking smack and basically were out of their minds with some weird form of jealousy.

LSU fans are like some crazy ex-girlfriend or ex-wife that won't let you live your life after everything is said and done. Just dont know how to let gooooooooo. Plus the fact that LSU players have recently decided to 'thug out' and get thrown off the team puts this game in a new light. IMHO, I am suprised we have won some of the games we have won, and I am sure if Shula was still here, we'd be in the same shape as last year. Thank God we got a really good proven Coach! If we keep it close, run right at the heart of their defense and keep their offense off the field, and lastly, have the ball last when we have the lead, we can win. Last time we were in a big game and I had this weird "paranormal" feeling-like dreams of us winning and winning big-was the 1992 Natl Championship....My dream this time involves their QB Flynn getting injured early and some unknown backup getting his lunch ate with crucial turnovers....I hope that happens.

Les Miles is certifiably insane. In 3 games he should have lost, he came off looking like an evil genius, much like Col. Kurtz from Apocalypse Now....his gameplan is a snail crawling along the edge of a razor...thats his dream...thats his nightmare....He ask questions to his team like

"Do you know that IF is the middle word of LIFE?" He'll expand your mind, man....and go for it on 4th and ALL OF IT....and win......How? Fuckin Lucky, thats how! If he was behind on his bills and needed to win the lottery to get caught back up, he would have the winning numbers, some how some way...
And Nick Saban has been dispatched on a mission that does not exist...wipe out Les Miles and his men and burn Nick Sabans memory on the skulls of the unbelievers.....

Oh Les Miles has been very quiet...too quiet.....why? Probaly because of his players getting in trouble, having to kick Derrick"Aint no punk bitch"Odom off the team and deciding whether Perrilloux heads to T town or not. My prediction will be based on gut feelings-and I feel with all that has happened since we found our offense, if we are consistent, we should win by a score of

27-24. To get there we will need excellent QB play, our playmakers will have to MAKE PLAYS!! and we will need help from our special teams as in ARENAS getting big chunks of yardage to keep the field short. I think if we draw first blood, and draw last blood, we win. If the team that played Tenn. shows up and not the team that played Georgia, we will win.

Roll MFN TIDEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Roll Tide Finally found an offense

2007-10-20T16:03:00.000-05:00

Yo yaw yaw footbaw...... New and Improved.....but for how long???

First I would like to thank the Univerisity of Alabama for essentially torpedo-ing this football teams chance at success by deciding, in the middle of the season, to suspend 5 players for some mysterious charge of reselling books....for something that happened a few years ago, now is the time to punish not only them, but the whole team? Who says Admin doenst hold grudges??? If the effects arent felt now, they will be felt in the future...We are wafer thin on the O-line, now they have effectively steered the Titanic full steam ahead into the Iceberg, and there wont be anyone to patch it up or raise it after the damage is done....

Well, after we beat Houston in the last minute, we went to Oxford and beat "The Orgeron" in probaly his last game as an Head Coach for awhile...
Then Fulmer came to town and we pounded Tenn. back to the stone age with Field goals aplenty and a "new and improved" version of JPW. Finally started completing some passes and good things started to happen. Our offense is linear to how he performs week in and week out.....

Now thank God we can play 4 full quarters of complete football. The SEC is like living in a huge Catholic family full of boxers, who may have the best boxers in the Nation. Problem is, they beat each other up before they have to go play on a National level, and most times have had injuries due to the weekly beatings in the house, and cant play to full potential. Whoever makes it to the National stage after surviving weekly pummelings actually deserve to be there, and will destroy whomever is unlucky enought to face them at the end.

ROLL MF'N TIDE.

Auburn Sucks, Tennesse still never stopped. Alabama has a good 2 min offense, can't stop Humanity Advanced, escapes with their lives, 3 players missin

2007-09-15T17:40:00.000-05:00

The best Saturday in football and I am stuck at work. Auburn got Croomed at home making their home record 0-2. Tuberville will probaly fire everbody, then he will get fired.

Tim Tebow makes his statement for the Heisman trophy campaign with some kissing and passing while beating the crap out of Tennessee, just for fun. EDSBS gets a huge ass shout out from Vern Lunquist then gets interrupted by another Florida touchdown. Thats pretty freakin awesome. Great, witty and funny website that deserves a shoutout. Alabama is about to kick off and I hope we beat the crap out of the hogs and Humanity Advanced. The photo is of an prototypical Tenn/ Arkansas fan. You really cant tell the diffence except by the size of the Tenn. fans head. Arkansas fans forehead seem to protrude less, where Tenn. fans foreheads look likePeyton Mannings. Then Alabama has the game in a great start, things are looking good, we are up 31-17 in the 3rd quarter, I am thinking we will run the ball to grind out the clock, but nooooo, we have to let them blitz and JPW throws an INT. Then Humanity Advanced smells blood and simply takes over the game. The defense allowed him to smell fear, and he fed on it until they were up 38-31. Guys, they had no passing game, and basically had 2 running plays, one with McFadden and one without McFadden. On the upside, Alabama didnt cover the 4 pts and I won 300 bucks. It ended up a happy ending, but good God, I hate those signature wins like that. Then they showed Humanitys Advanced tricked out red Chevy Malibu that had to have at least $25,000 worth of bling. The car is probaly worth 3500 bucks real money. I am sure the NCAA is wondering how a poor tailback can afford a tricked out ride, and no one in his family has the W-2 to back it up. Last time I saw bling like that was when Fernado Bryant was rollin in a SL500 Mercedes in '97 as a JR. Then Alabama goes on probation...coincedence? I think not.