Clicking her heels to no avail

Old movies

2008-06-14T10:21:00.001-05:00

I've been captivated by old movies since I was a young teen. I'm not sure what the allure was that roped me in but I remember renting video's of old movies on a regular basis. And when I was old enough to drive...watch out! I borrowed VHS copies of "The Best Years of Our Lives" and Hitchcock's "Dial M For Murder" from every library that would let me use my Canonsburg, PA library card.

I'm still addicted to them although now I've narrowed my preferences. I'm not that into Fred & Ginger. Not into Esther Williams and her swimming movies. Musicals kind of get annoying (all those stinkin' songs that I have to skip through with the exception of Judy Garland. LOVE her!) And you'll never EVER catch me watching a western. *shiver*

My favorites are films from the 40's. I love the hair. Love the clothes. Love the cars. I appreciate how clean the movies are. I don't have to be careful of what I see. Don't have to worry about my kids walking in on anything.

The movies from the 30's crack me up. The way they were taught to speak to make them sound like they were high class. Sometimes when there's one on I'll talk like that to make my family laugh.

A while back I was talking to one of the teenagers in the church about old movies. She said she loved old movies.
"Especially the ones from the 80's"

I snickered and said, "I mean old ones, like from the 40's."

Reading & writing

2008-03-18T14:36:00.001-05:00

Read a cute mystery this morning and have been working on my great American novel this afternoon.

The thing is though now that I'm a writer (because I've been writing for 18 months...lol) I read differently. I no longer just read the words and enjoy the story. Now I read and, "Oh! Look at how she did that." or "Oh, I need to remember that technique." or "ooooh good word."

I've taken to reading with a notebook and pen next to me so I can take notes. Sometimes things I read will trigger something else in my mind that I may be able to use so I jot it in my notebook. This is the notebook that I take everywhere with me.

For instance, a scene I read had the character take her straw out of the paper wrapper and my mind said, "Oh! You can have your characters shoot the paper at each other while they wait for their food at the restaurant."

See what I mean?

Reading has become less fun and more work.

But I still *love* it!

Looking for clean reads!

2008-03-17T14:53:00.002-05:00

Any recommendations for books in the general market that are considered clean reads? I need to branch out and read more but don't want to be ambushed by naughty stuff!

$1 cell phone story

2008-03-10T16:01:00.001-05:00

This is the $1 cell phone story.

Back in November we made the switch from a land line to all cell phones. One nice thing about this is that we're not in the phone book at all so the only people who get the number are the ones we've given it to. There are also a few problems with this plan of ours. One major problem is that the phone is so small it gets lost. Most often in the 11 year old's room (she's on the phone more than the rest of us combined.)

So several weeks ago we had some friends come to visit and I dropped the cell phone on the kitchen floor. It banged hard. So hard that it no longer produced any sound. Wouldn't ring. Wouldn't beep when you pushed the numbers. Wouldn't ring when you called someone (even though the phone you'd call would ring.)

Mr. Man took it the next day and traded it in for a new one. Paid $30 to get a replacement phone of the same kind.

The very next day the phone disappeared. 11 year old and I searched high and low for it. "I didn't have it," she said.

I did the logical thing and dialed the new phone from my cell phone. We could hear a muffled ring and tried to find it.

11 year old found it and grimly carried it in to where I was sitting.

"It was in the hot soapy dishwater," she says. "And I didn't do it."

No. Of course not. *sigh* Even though she was carrying it when she dropped her dinner dish into the water. Couldn't possibly have been her.

We tried drying the phone out but it hasn't been the same since. Now it turns itself on and off at will. We'll hear it bum-bum-bum-bum at all hours of the day (and night) as it looks for service.

The funny thing is that when we were cleaning out the basement a couple weeks ago we found three old cell phones. We could have had any one of them switched to the new number without paying the $30 for the replacement phone.

Guess what we're going to do?

Oh yeah, I bet you're wondering why this is called the $1 cell phone story aren't you?

Because when I decided to share the story the 11 year old said, "You can tell it only if you pay me $1."

Yeah, I paid.

I know who you are!

2008-02-28T10:45:00.000-06:00

The phone rang one night not too long ago. I answered it to hear,

"Is Pastor Keller home?"
Pastor Keller hasn't pastored our church for seven years.
I said, "Do you mean Pastor Schaffer?"
The voice paused and said, "No, is Pastor Keller home?"
Again I said, "You mean Pastor Schaffer."

Then they hung up.
Didn't say another word. Didn't laugh.
Just CLICK.

I bet they thought I'd never know who it was.
Before the wonders of Caller I.D. I probably never would have.
I looked at the phone number and then Googled it.

Yeah...I know which church member it was!

Pastor sells Congregation on eBay

2008-02-19T14:57:00.001-06:00

BIG TIMBER, Mont. — Without their consent or knowledge, a pastor in rural Montana has sold his church and congregation on eBay for $3 million.
"I finally got good and sick of them," says Tad Marshall, pastor for 15 years who completed the secret sale last week. "This serves them right. All of them."
But many in the church are stunned by the Marshall family’s sudden departure.
"We had such a good relationship," says Winifred Barnes. "Whenever I called him in the middle of the night to pray for my psoriasis, he was happy to help. I’m surprised he would treat us this way."
Others expressed similar feelings.
"We would stop by for surprise visits every time he had a day off, and his wife was always quick to put a pot of coffee on," says Fred Souther. "We’d sit there and chat for hours. Those were wonderful times."
One woman recalls how Pastor Marshall responded to her plea to visit her ailing mother every day during her prolonged illness at a hospital 78 miles away.
"I don’t think he did it because we threatened to quit the church. I think he was genuinely concerned for Mother even though she was in a coma," she says. "We would sit with her for hours singing hymns to her. I could tell he was blessed by it."
Another longtime member recalls the day a group of women surprised the pastor’s wife with an impromptu shopping trip.
"It was clear she was unable to afford modest clothing, so we charged right in and threw away everything in her closet," she says. "Then we bought her new ankle-length dresses with long sleeves. She cried tears of joy that day. She kept saying, ‘I can’t believe you’re doing this.’ It was a bonding moment for all of us."
Even the board, which had its share of differences with Marshall, recalls him fondly. They say he happily abided by the church’s Dress and Grooming Code, kept sermons to 23 minutes as the board required and even abandoned his use of the New Living translation on Sunday morning.
"Once he understood it is a devilish translation that twists the words of the original spoken English, he said he’d be happy to go back to using the Authorized King James Version," an elder says. "That’s the way Tad was. A real go-along guy."
Friends from out of state say Marshall came to rural Montana hoping to find a friendly lifestyle where he could help good-hearted people grow closer to Christ. Instead he found "an enclave of faux-Christian Pharisees" who demanded he serve their every whim, says one seminary buddy. One day while selling old exercise equipment on eBay to supplement his church income, which had been docked by the board because a service had gone too long, Marshall decided to rid himself of the congregation in a creative way.
His eBay listing emphasized the positive: "This delightful country church sits on 2 acres of land. Comes complete with congregation and 35 regular tithers! Sunday school wing, no mortgage. Bids start at $200,000."
Recent Bible college graduates bid first, hoping to gain a built-in congregation on the cheap. Then several entrepreneurs with ministry ambitions swooped in, driving the price up. Kevin Silver, a 39-year-old former Internet company founder, won with a last-minute bid. He is looking forward to "leaving the spiritual corruption of the big city behind" and taking the helm of the rural congregation.
"I always wanted to serve at a little country church where decent people just want to pursue God," he says. "My wife and I are looking forward to settling into community life and getting to know these wonderful folks. This will be a great second chapter of life for us." •

www.larknews.com/febru...php?page=1

(just thought you'd enjoy a good laugh!)

Pirates

2008-02-18T16:09:00.002-06:00

The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything that is.
Took the kids to see it at the theater today and I did something I've never done before.

I complained to the management about another patron.

Maybe it's all the mystery shopping that gave me the courage.

Just as the movie was starting a woman came in with four little children. I'm pretty sure she was the grandma. They sat in the same row as us (the back row) on the opposite end. From the moment they arrived they were loud. VERY LOUD. Finally the people seated in front of them (after many look-back-over-the-shoulder-at-them looks) got up and moved.

Then grandma's phone rang. And she answered it. And talked LOUD.

I left and went to speak to the manager. He told me to go ahead back in and he'd be in a couple minutes so that she wouldn't know it was me.

I went back in and hubby said that she was "shushed" three times by the people 4 rows ahead of them.

Pretty soon Mr. Manager comes in and speaks with her.

He left and things did not improve. He came back a few minutes later and observed her and then asked her to leave. He escorted her and her brood right out of the showing.

Never had that happen before. I felt kinda bad, but the place was oh-so-quiet after she left.

2008-02-16T08:49:00.000-06:00

The other day we went grocery shopping. While on the way home three cars in three separate locations did u-turns in the middle of the road-with traffic around. By the time the third car did it the kids were asking if it was all right to do that. I mentioned something about it usually being illegal. Hubby said, "Not in our state" and then we passed a church sign that read:

"God allows U-turns"

We laughed the whole way home.

Causing a Commotion

2008-02-03T16:18:00.001-06:00

I almost caused a commotion this morning in church. The moment I sat down after exiting the stage from worship I reached into my purse and grabbed a mint. The mint practically flew out of my hand. I'm not sure how high it went but it twirled through the air and landed on the floor.

Now, this wasn't an ordinary mint. Not a little white Tic-Tac. Not a neutral colored Altoid. No, this was a one inch bright pink Canada mint. Drat that wintergreen goodness!

Once it landed on the floor it rolled to a stop and perched on its side. Thankfully I was seated in my usual spot on the front pew and no one seemed to have noticed. I giggled through the incident and then almost laughed out loud when my pastor hubby announced his sermon title as, "Rocks and Rolls."

Avon body yogurt and Wal*Mart

2008-01-24T09:15:00.000-06:00

I hate the trend of wearing pajama bottoms in public. Pajama's are for SLEEPING not for wearing out in public. And most definitely NOT for wearing in Wal*Mart.

Do the people in your local Wal*Mart dress like they just don't care? Sometimes I am half tempted to go there first thing in the morning in my sleepiness with my hair all a mess and in my worst sweatsuit because I know no one will care and I'll just blend. But then my rational side kicks in and I get showered, do my hair and put on some real clothes.

Like the other day. I treadmilled for an hour (hate it but do it anyway) and then got showered and all dressed. I had on some smart brown pants, adorable shoes, cute shirt and a nice coat. I was all ready to go, until hubby says,

"That lotion smells bad."

Yeah, it did. I bought some blackberry vanilla body yogurt from Avon not too long ago. When I opened it and put it on I thought it smelled like vomit. At that time I had a cold and hubby said it didn't smell bad so I thought maybe it was all the mucus in my nose that was messing up my smeller. So I plugged along and tried it a few more times. Once my cold went away I still thought it smelled.

So now I'm all ready to walk out the door to go to Wal*Mart. I'm dressed so I won't fit in and I smell like vomit.

Maybe no one will notice!

IRA's, knives and pink eye

2008-01-11T20:29:00.000-06:00

Mystery shopped today. I know know more about IRA's than I did yesterday. But don't ask me any questions about them because most of what she told me went right over my head! I think my next novel (should I ever get done with this one that is!) will be about a mystery shopper.

A cool story from vacation: My mom's BFF gave her some Cutco knives that she didn't want anymore so my mom gave them to me! I am now the proud owner of two knives that actually cut! I can't believe I lived this long and loved cooking for all these years with such mediocre cutlery. These knives are AWESOME.

Cool God story from this week:

I came home from our trip with a head cold and Monday morning woke up with a very pink gooey itchy eye.

Go ahead, rub your eye...I know one of them is itchy now!

Anyway, I looked it up online to learn more about it and I decided that mine was viral (because of my cold) and not bacterial. Viral usually goes away on its own in 1-2 weeks. So I decided to cancel my Dr appointment and wait it out. I had hubby pray for me.

My eye is all better now! YAY GOD!

Yay because ewww it was gross. Glued shut on Tuesday morning. Yuck. And YAY because I didn't have to go to the dr and pay $$$

When I go to my Dr the insurance pays their share and then my Dr bills me $150 for an office visit. When I called about making an appointment I asked if they could just call something in because I didn't want to have to pay $150 to come in and be told what I already knew just to get an ointment for my eye. The Dr's office told me that it's only $60 for an office visit if I pay in cash!

Now tell me...why do we have insurance?

2007-12-09T22:35:00.000-06:00

So last night our Sunday school class had its annual Christmas party and this year we went out to eat at Dave & Busters. We left the church at 3:00 in the afternoon and arrived at our destination at 3:50 and signed in at the desk at 3:55

We were seated at 4:50

Yup...55 minute wait for a table for ten. Crazy. Then we sat at our table for ten minutes before we were waited on. AND the server seated a table next to us and immediately took their drink orders while we sat and watched.

So then we explained that we'd been waiting in the building for (at this point) over an hour so we'd be able to get in on the order-before-5:00-and-get-a-special-deal thingy. Server went ahead and gave us the special deal.

But the story doesn't end there.

Server took our drink order and then came back and took our food order. We ordered an appetizer and our meals. Our appetizer came out before the drinks did.

Then the food came out. I ordered the Chicken Monte Carlo, "without cheese, please."

Server handed me a Monterey Burger, no cheese.

"Um, this isn't what I ordered, I ordered the Chicken Monte Carlo with no cheese."

"Oh, sorry, we'll get that right out to you."

So I'm sitting there watchign everyone else eat and waiting for my chicken. Finally Server came by and said, "Your sandwich should be right out."

Hmmm... I didn't order a sandwich.

Shortly, Server comes back with another guy carrying my dinner and hands me the grilled chicken club.

"Um, this isn't what I ordered. I wanted the chicken...with the green beans, the dinner...no cheese please."

"Oh, sorry ma'am, we'll get that out as fast as we can"

You know, by this point I'm laughing. It was too ridiculous not to.

So my food....the food I ordered finally came out to me at 5:55, after everyone else at the table was done eating. An hour and five minutes after we were seated and two hours after we got there!

I ate it and it was gooooo-ood.

No, they didn't charge me for it.

After that a few of us (girls) stayed at the table while the men all went to play. I walked into the gameroom and saw one of the guys from church, he asked me something about how I liked it there and I said that, "This is what I imagine hell to be like." Truly not my kind of place. Flashy lights, loud music, tons of people. If I'm gonna be in a place like that I expect TobyMac to be on stage! Love concerts...hate Dave & Busters. Yuck. yuck. Yuck.

I say next year the GIRLS get to pick where we go for the party!

2007-11-29T11:46:00.000-06:00

Poor Doyle. I don't know who this man is or what he did but he's got some people mighty upset.

It started several months ago, we'd get a random phone call asking for Doyle. I'd always say something like, "There's no one here by that name" or "Sorry, you've got the wrong number."
They were from collection agencies and law firms in Texas.

No problem, right?

The last caller thought that was a problem. Here's the call from a law firm in Georgia:

Me: Hello?

Man on phone: Can I speak to Doyle _____ please?

Me: I'm sorry, there's no one here by that name

Man on phone: Really.

Me: Really!

Man on phone: So you don't know Doyle_____?

Me: Nope, don't know who he is

Man on phone: Really.

Me: Really!

Husband (in background): We don't know the guy

Man on phone: THEN WHO IS THAT I HEAR?

Me: That'd be my husband

Man on phone: Really.

Me: Really!

Man on phone: And what's his name?

~Husband takes phone~

Husband: That is none of your business

Man on phone: (says something about him being Doyle)

Husband: We've had this phone for two years, I am not Doyle. This is the parsonage, I am the pastor of the church next door

Man on phone: You don't sound like a pastor

Husband hangs up.

Man calls back. We let the machine get it. Man calls back again, husband picks up.

Husband: Hello?

Man on phone: I'm sorry sir, you were right, we checked the number and it belongs to you.

Really?!?

2007-11-27T12:57:00.000-06:00

God saved my life today.
He really did!
I dropped the kids off at school and then headed to my job. I approached a stop sigh and as I slowed down to stop I noticed a tractor trailer coming down the road that I was going to turn right on. I pushed the brakes harder to stop and didn't...the road was a sheet of ice. I slid...and slid...and slid and suddenly, stopped. Really, it felt like God put His hand down and stopped the car.
I watched the truck fly by and all I could do was utter, "Thank you God"

Kristy Dykes

2007-11-26T10:55:00.000-06:00

Kristy Dykes.
I've never met her, but I pray for her. We post comments on the same blog.
She's got a cancerous brain tumor, inoperable. She's a pastors wife, a mother, a grandmother and an author.
Her HUSBAND wrote an amazing blog this past week and I wanted to share it:
http://christianlovestories.blogspot.com/2007/11/tough-men-and-tender-romance.html

2007-11-23T16:15:00.000-06:00

We go to theaters to see movies maybe once or twice a year. The film choices aren't usually enticing enough for me to go spend that kind of money.

Today we took the kids to see "Enchanted" It was delightful! You've GOT to take your kids and see this movie. So SO cute and funny and CLEAN! Perfectly adorable.

The previews for upcoming films looked promising.
*Kit-An American Girl Movie
*Alvin & The Chipmunks
*Water Horse (about the Loch Ness monster!)
*National Treasure-Book of Secrets

Anyway, go. See. Enchanted.

2007-11-17T17:06:00.000-06:00

I have such a cold in my head that my brain is fuzzy. I'm having a hard time figuring out if reality is nothing more than a freaky germ induced hallucination.

Take for example what I just heard Tyler Florence say on the Food Network:"Honey is such a classic flavor, it's so old it's almost Biblical..."

Yeah, I had to rewind that on the DVR to make sure he said it.

He did.

At least I have a cold to use as an excuse for saying stupid things.

2007-11-15T13:35:00.000-06:00

Breaking news:

http://http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071115/ap_en_tv/people_paige_davis

I quit watching when she left now maybe I'll start watching again although truthfully, I didn't even know it was still on!

2007-11-10T21:29:00.000-06:00

We are throwing tradition aside this year and instead of making a turkey for Thanksgiving we are roasting a chicken. Our family has come to the conclusion that none of us really like turkey! We'd much rather have chicken with all the regular Thanksgiving stuff (minus the stuffing...gag...we don't like that either) so our menu will be:

Chicken, gravy, mashed potatoes, cheesy carrots, cranberries (for me) and apple pie (we don't like pumpkin).

We'll be making our own traditions. Isn't that what it's all about?