BriTunes

Vacation...All I Ever Wanted

2009-11-16T09:09:00.002-05:00

I walk in this morning and everyone seems to be in a REALLY cranky mood so I put on my headphones and start working away. I'm opening email and I come to my daily Groupon. I read "$25 for a $50 Authentic Mediterranean Cruise when in actuality the email read:

Cuisine Brian. Not cruise. No wonder I was all "damn, that's one cheap ass cruise!"

Think I need a vacation much?

I Wanna Take a Ride on Your Hockey Stick

2009-11-13T15:59:00.004-05:00

Oh. My. Gay.

Word on the street is that Levi Johnston posed for his first Playgirl shoot yesterday and it included an ice rink and a hockey stick. Um.....yes please!! Honestly I don't know how much longer I can wait for this and I knoooow I'm not alone, don't even front.

I'm mad at Lady Gaga.

AND her disco stick.

I used to hate the Gaga, it's true. I just didn't understand the hype. But after viewing some of her live performances, and succumbing to her LoveGame, I fear that I've fallen in love. Now with her new single "Bad Romance" and hearing some songs off her new album....I have fully committed to the Haus of Gaga. So when I went to buy tickets to her Radio City concert today at 12pm ON THE DOT and they were sold out at 12pm ON THE DOT, you can understand my disappointment and anger. The only tickets I found?

Disability wheelchair seats. I even went so far as to think "hmm....who can I rent a Wheelchair from?" but quickly dismissed that idea. So alas, I'm afraid I'll just have to find my Lady Gaga tickets someplace else.

Hey you.

Hate your face.

Counting down the minutes until I can leave and start my weekend. Even though I had a four day work week, it has felt like the longest week EVER! Is it because my birthday is a week away? Perhaps. At any rate, I am very excited for the fun to begin.

PS. Levi! Call me!

Mini Glee-Cap

2009-11-13T09:14:00.004-05:00

Ya'll, I done had it with Blogger. After many (MANY) failed attempts to post a proper Gleecap for you, I give up. I quit! Blogger clearly does not want me to give you what you've all been asking for so FINE. I just won't DO one then Blogger, are you happy??!!!

Okay, maybe a small one.

Top 8 moments in "Wheels" (in no particular order)

1. Bougie

Santana: Wait, you're joking right? I mean, aren't bake sales kind of....bougie?

I love that they're fleshing out the mini-characters a little bit or at the VERY least, giving them lines. Take Britney for instance. Someone who was once my least favorite (I used to call her 'the Beast') has quickly grown into a character that consistantly has the best lines every week. For instance, when talking more about the bake sale...

2. Oh Britney Britney...

Britney: Most of us don't know how to bake...I find...recipes...confusing...

3. I Think I'll Try.....

Kurt: Defying Gravity? I have an entire iPod shuffle dedicated to the songs of Wicked.

Rachel: It's my go-to shower song. It's also my ringtone.

I would be lying if I said all of those didn't ring true at some point in my life....

4. He Likes Her!!!

Artie and Tina? ADORable. Also appreciated Artie explaining how he ended up in a wheelchair and ending it with: "I want to make something very clear. I still have the use of my penis."

5. We Belong Together

I happened to love this food fight between Quinn and Puck and is it just me or is that the biggest we've ever seen Quinn smile? I'm kind of pulling for these two to end up together. "That was perfectly measured!"

6. Tar Tar, Part 1

Glee took on a very touchy subject this week but I feel like they handled it all very well. Britney and Becky together was so sweet and so adorable that I kiiiinda died inside.

Santana: Where's your wheelchair?
Britney: I lost it.

7. Tar Tar, Part 2

Oh lordy, Sue and her sister? I can't even. When she started reading the book to her down syndrome sister, I was a mess. I first watched this episode a few weeks ago after a few drinks with Page Six. He passed out half way through but cut to me at 2:30 am sobbing over this scene. I thought it was really great to show a different , sweeter side to Sue.

7. Rollin' Rollin'

I mean, what a fantastic number!! I feel like this was a great number to end a great episode on. And Tina finally has a solo!!! It's a miracle...

What did you think of this ep? Did you love it as much as I did? Who cried?

Hopefully Blogger won't hate me next week and I can post a regular Glee-Cap but until then...

I Hate Blogger

2009-11-12T15:17:00.002-05:00

Glee-Cap won't be coming until later tonight.

Maybe tomorrow. Blame it on Blogger.

How to Embarass Yourself at a Wedding in 7 Steps

2009-11-12T10:29:00.004-05:00

There are many different ways to embarass yourself at a wedding. For instance, you could have a Dance-Off with the Maid of Honor's boyfriend.

Or you could perform the Single Ladies dance with the bride.

Or perhaps you'd prefer to be the only boy to catch the bouquet. This last one is not a simple one to accomplish but with practice, you too can embarass not only yourself but also your family. Here's how:

Step 1.

Show up without a date

Step 2.

Take full advantage of the wine bar (6 -7 glasses if possible)

Step 3.

Get in a good position

Step 4.

Outstretch your arms

Step 5.

Push anyone and everyone out of the way

Step 6.

Hold your head high in victory

Step 7.

Realize your mistake, hand the bouquet to the first girl you see, and run away as fast as you can to distance yourself from the situation.

See?! It's as simple as that!! Follow my 7 easy steps and one day YOU TOO can drunkenly embarass yourself at a wedding!

Glee-view

2009-11-11T15:12:00.001-05:00

Tune in to GLEE tonight for the best episode yet! I dare you not to cry - DARE YOU!

Pure Brilliance

2009-11-11T11:15:00.001-05:00

Now THAT is a music video!!!

I'd Hit It....Sesame Street Edition

2009-11-10T10:52:00.006-05:00

Happy Birthday Sesame Street!!

You're 40 today!! Wahoo! You're 40 and yet, I haven't aged a day. While I remember watching The Muppets more than Sesame Street growing up, I'm sure my mother plopped me down in front of the program just so she could get some alone time. I know who I was as a young child, I don't blame the woman. In honor of SS's b-day I'd like to present....

The Top 7 Seseme Street Characters I'd Get Dirty With

#7. Elmo

You know that really annoying guy that drives you insane but he's popular friendly and cute and therefore more attractive? Yeah, that's Elmo. So while he may drive you crazy, your popular points will go up drastically after hitting it. Note to self: Things not to do while in bed with Elmo include tickling and referring to self in third person.

#6. Grover

Grover is somewhat of a twink, if you're into that skinny/raver look. I imagine he likes his glow sticks, he likes his thumping music, and he probably just lays there in bed. But alas, we all go through our twink phase, which is why Grover makes his way to #6. I have a feeling Grover and I would be a one time thing sort of deal. He's too skinny and would make me feel self-conscious about my body.

#5. Cookie Monster

Another phase we inevitabely go through is the "bear" phase and Cookie Monster is a great fit for that. I bet he'd throw you around nice and good - the problem would be cleaning up all that blue fur. Talk about a hassle!! The best thing about Cookie Monster is that the boy likes to eat!! Whereas Grover would make you feel self-conscious, Cookie Monster would make you feel like the hottest thing ever! Plus your room would smell like cookies after.

#4. Count Von Count

The token ethnic of the group, Count infuses a little flavor into our list. Just think about it - he rolls into town for a weeklong fling, swarthed in velvet capes and that monocle. You meet in a chance meeting and the accent just takes you over. He starts counting and you melt before the count of ten. Before you know it, you've done it eight, nine, ten, eleven! Eleven times with the Count! Mwa Ha Ha!!! He's a special one you won't soon forget.

#3. Oscar the Grouch

Two words: Angry sex.

#2. Big Bird

Uh.....HELLO! Have you SEEN the size of Big Bird's feet? While a tad annoying and wussy, I assume it'd still be a good time. He's one of those "really tall, really hot, really gay" types.

and the number 1 Sesame Street character I'd do it with is...

#1. Ernie!!

There's something about that smile, something about that laugh, that hair, that striped sweater that just gets my blood boiling. Plus, you KNOW he'd be fun in bed and totally up for trying new things. And might I just say....bubble bath?! Oh hell to the yes. Now I don't want to put the cart before the horse but if Ernie wanted to invite his "roommate" Bert into the bedroom with us well...I wouldn't turn him down.

Levi yai yai

2009-11-09T11:55:00.003-05:00

Boyfriend.....

You better know what you're doing!!! What is it lately? Jon, Michael Lohan, MJ's creepy ass doctor...it's like Douchtember. And now my boyfriend is appearing with Douche Gosselin? Dislike. At any rate, I'd still hit it.

I mean obviously.

1, 2, 3...

2009-11-09T10:39:00.009-05:00

Hey Monday, how you doin'?

I had one of those weekend's where you blink and it's over but I guess that just means it was a good weekend, eh? Friday night the group and I had our annual B.A.N.D.I.T.S. get together (and by our I mean their as it was my first time being a BANDIT). Basically we put on headbands, did Skittle vodka shots, and went out to a bar in the East Village. And that's Bandits. But it was a great time and Thursday I was a hurtin.' Saturday I had dodgeball practice (where I learned how to throw left handed) and then went with the boys to a taping of Top Model.

That's the runway and the stage hands setting everything up. It was really cool to see an actual Top Model runway competition and I think you'll be surprised by the girls this season. There are a few standouts and a few surprises (hint: a model falls off the runway). The best part is that I'm toooootally going to be on camera - good thing I was smizing the entire time!

After Top Model, More-O and I hit up Page Six's birthday which had the most rocking Bulgarian Band ever. Random? Yes. Totally fun? Absolutely. Speaking of Page Six, I encourage you to visit his blog (http://www.popwrap.com/) which has a hilarious interview with him and Cookie Monster from Sesame Street.

Totes adorbs.

Who caught Taylor Swift on SNL?

Um.....I die. She was so great!! Cute, charming, and completely committed to everything they gave her. Her opening monologue/song was hilarious...I may have watched it like forty times. And don't even get me started on her Shakira impression.

Taylor Swift, after much (much!) resistance, I'm afraid you have won me over. Congratulations.

Hey Ashlee Simpson!

No.

So I was taught last week how to add a diagnostics thing to BriTunes and the results have been pretty funny. For instance, did you know that on Friday 87 people clicked on this blog? And over the weekend I had visitors from India, Australia, and Sweden?

You didn't before but you do now! So hola, bienvenue and g'day to all of my visitors from all the lands. I'm not offended that half of you spent 20 seconds or less on this site....just happy you came.

Had a very productive cleaning day yesterday (and also caught up on Dexter - holy shitballs!) and last night after Amazing Race (I heart Sam) with More-O and Page Six I watched Bruno.

Now I wasn't in any real rush to see this movie and now I can see why. Despite laughing my ass off at Borat, I think I giggled...maybe twice during this movie? Sasha Baron Cohen FAIL.

A little Dodgeball action tonight and the much anticipated THREESOME on Gossip Girl.

Who do you think it's going to be?! (My bet is on Dan, Olivia, and Vanessa) If they play Britney's "3," I might just die a little....inside.

All Aboard!!

2009-11-06T15:06:00.000-05:00

Word on the street is that Adam Brody and "Glee's" Diana Argon are dating, and I have to say...I would be VERY into this. Even though Adam Brody hasn't had a hit in years, I mean, just look at them - they're so cute together!! There are just some couples where you see them and you're like "awwwww." I have a few couple in my life like that (of course I have a few couples where I'm like "eek!"). A TV couple that makes me "aww" all the way home is Jim and Pam. Last night when Page Six and I were watching "The Office" and Jim and Pam had a moment and we both sighed and "awwed" and blah blah blah. Then Page Six asked me:

"Do you think we'll ever find a Jim?"

to which I replied...

"No...we'll probably find Dwight and Andy's. I may go through a Creed phase."

Le sigh.

Wanna be jealous? I'm going to a taping of Top Model tomorrow! The boys and I are going to be in the audience for one of their fashion shows for the new season. I'm gonna get my hair did, put on my finest, cover up the flesh eating virus on my face and smize away in the hopes of being on camera. A boy can dream!

Have a fantastic weekend everyone.

F'Real?

2009-11-06T12:13:00.000-05:00

I just had to email someone.

It was (First name) Dickman@cox.net.

Uh.......are you kidding me with this?!

Some people make it way too easy....

Screw You Brian Williams

2009-11-06T11:51:00.004-05:00

Hey remember that one time Brian Williams stole the name of my blog?

Well now the bastard is back, appearing on "30 Rock" last night, as if to taunt and torment me.

Why won't you leave me alone Brian Williams?! Why must you haunt my every nightmare, my every thought? When is enough, enough?!

Despite his awfulness, the episode was very funny with an entire subplot about bedbugs. Hilarious!

What the Face?!

2009-11-05T14:00:00.002-05:00

So for the past few months I've had a minor rash on my face, right near my nose. I had visitied a dermatologist and she said I had impetigo and gave me a cream to use. A week later, it was still there, so I was given a different cream. Two more times, four different creams. One of them minimized it and stabalized it, so I kept using that one. Cut to a few weeks later and the rash spreads

(note: That's not me, but it looks just like my rash!) Anyway, I visited a different dermatologist who diagnosed me right away, gave me antibiotics a creme, and sent me on my way. She mentioned that it would get worse before it gets better and I'm currently in the "getting worse" stage, which is oh so fun. The best part about this though, is that I'm online today researched my "condition" and I came across just what made the rash get to the epic level that it is. And I quote:

"One of the most common factors is prolonged use of topical steroid creams"

Uh.........HELLO!! That is exactly what the first dermatologist gave me and has been having me slather on my face for the past two months. So basically I'm pissed. Not only did I pay almost $200 bucks in co-pays and perscriptions, but the doctor that I was hoping to help me just made matters worse. I seriously feel like Season 4 Top Model Michele.

So my question to you, is do I write/call the other doctor and rip her a new one or do I just let it go and hope that this new doctor knows what she is doing?

And until I'm cured, please avoid all direct eye contact. We should return to your regularly programmed face shortly.

Creepy/Kooky/Mysterious/Spooky

2009-11-05T09:21:00.002-05:00

This certainly made my morning...The cast of the new Broadway Musical "The Adams Family."

My pants just got tight.

A Post Halloween Tale

2009-11-04T12:06:00.004-05:00

A new set of Halloween pictures have been released which, in turn, ask some new questions like:

"We took the Subway?"

"No seriously, WHEN did we take the Subway?"

"Just how many lady Gaga's WERE there throughout the course of the night?"

"When did we go to Craig's house?"

"Why did everyone fall asleep standing up at Boiler Room?"

"Whatever happened to that guy on the bike that Brian knocked over?"

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, real live drama.

So we're heading to a loft party, feeling no pain, and we're getting ready to cross the street. The walk light comes on, so I start to cross when BAM!!! All of a sudden, out of nowhere, a guy on a bike (who was speeding through the red light) slams into me. He goes flying, his bike goes flying, his beer goes flying, and we're all in shock.

He lays there for a bit, Chris starts to see if he's okay, when he jumps up and charges me. I just kind of stand there dumbfounded like "did this really happen?" I'm apologizing, making sure he's okay (blood was running down his face) when I realize "oh my lawd, this guy might really try to fight me." If it wasn't for Chris calming the guy down (and the 6 tall homos I had for backup) some trouble could have brewed. As it was though, I was in my fighting stance and ready to go.

We gave him his beer off the ground, he opened it and asked "what am I supposed to do with this now?!" Uh.....drink it? You opened it, idiot. He glared at us, yelled "this isn't over!" and we were on our way.

No joke, I thought I saw the guy yesterday and thought to myself "Oh Jesus, it really isn't over!!!" Luckily, it was just another random guy on a bike. But we shall meet again drunk ethnic on bike, oh YEESSSS we shall......

Hell Hath Frozen Over

2009-11-04T10:15:00.002-05:00

A moment of your time, if you please.

Sigh....I can't believe I'm actually going to say this.

I think Kristen Stewart looks kinda pretty in this picture!

No, I know, I know!!! I don't know what's wrong with me!! I must be getting sick or something. I dunno, I just saw the picture and I was like "huh. Don't hate it." Same with this one.

It looks like a real, genuine smile - something we haven't seen much of out of her. Maybe if she smiled like this all the time I wouldn't hate her face so much but as it is...

I STILL DO.

Please don't confuse my single compliment for a change of heart, cause homo don't play that. I'm just secure enough to give credit where credit is due.

You may now continue on with your day.

Perv Bonus

2009-11-03T16:29:00.003-05:00

Because you all have been good today...

I was REALLY happy to watch Glee sing the National Anthem.

SH@Z@M is back!!

New single "Don't Be Mean on Halloween" with special Chili's Bside "2 4 $20 4ever."

Extra added bonus: Page Six's costume

Belated

2009-11-03T10:42:00.008-05:00

And we don't want to see your face! So there!

Well hello to you kind readers! After a few days off, BriTunes is back and better than ever. Or at the very least, back. I had a fantastic Halloween weekend and a not so fun day off yesterday but that's what happens when you fill your day with copays and waiting room. Some weekend highlights:

FRIDAY

I failed to mention on BriTunes Friday that it was my dear friend KristenTaylor's birthday.

Oh wait, that's not her, what am I thinking? I know I've got a picture of her around here somewhere....

THERE we go! In all seriousness though, I hope your birthday was wonderful and relaxing and I'm sure your hubby took good care of you. It has been quite the year for Miss Taylor and I but she knows I've got nothin' but love. Happy (belated) BriTunes birthday!

Friday night the gang and I took a field trip to Schmitt Farms in Farmingdale/ville/town, NY

for a Haunted House/Corn Maze type delio. We stopped at America's finest establishment for dinner before hand though. Ladies and gentlemen, Chili's. Do you even KNOW the last time I went to a Chili's?! I have to say though, it wasn't as good as I remembered. It mostly just made me feel fat. More-O made up for the experience though by acting the fool.

Straight out of the 1920's, ladies and gents. Remember when people would put wax lips in your Halloween bucket? Gross. They always went straight to the trash.

The Haunted House was actually REALLY scary

the corn maze? Less so.

My favorite is how Stacy L (The L stands for lesbian as I don't know her last name) would completely mock the "performers" but any time they scared her she would yell "validated." I thought it was a nice gesture to those hardworking carni freaks. My shoulder really started hurting so I called it a night shortly after returning home.

SATURDAY

Halloween day itself was mostly just me running errands. A "trip to the gym" turned into shopping, a haircut, and stopping by the dodgeball practice to oogle all the cute boys in the league. My arm is still not up to speed (more on that later) so I didn't play but it's always fun to see everyone outside of the gym. More-O and I then decided to go shopping for some costume accessories and while in the costume shop who walked in but Penn Badgley and Blake Lively!

Penn looked GOOOOOOD and Blake had ugly shoes on. More-O and I then traveled to Chipotle for some dinner and there, RIGHT OUTSIDE THE WINDOW hailing a cab was one of my top 4 favorite actresses...NATALIE PORTMAN!

That's her crossing the street to find a cab. I couldn't get my phone out fast enough but she done be ril close. Sigh. I love her.

Saturday night was, as expected, a shit show. I almost lost my phone, got in an altercation with a guy on a bike I knocked over, and also had a great time.

I think the pervy gym teacher came out quite well.

Pervy, right?!

More-O was a dead lifeguard, Jocean was Maryanne from TRUE BLOOD,

Page Six was a Fantasia Waiter (also from True Blood - I need pictures, Page Six!) and Wiley was a boxer.

We met up with Kaka Kido and the girls at this massive loft party and she was Lady Gaga (one of about 85,000 I saw that night). She looked AMAZING and my only regret in the night is that I didn't get to spend more time with the girls! I don't remember what time I poured myself into bed but the night was definitely a success.

SUNDAY

Went to a brunch in Brooklyn and was in bed early but my favorite part of the day?

Seeing the multiple walk of shames home. Amazing.

Went to the Doctor yesterday for my shoulder and, yup, it's messed up. Basically I tore something a while ago but it is just going to get worse and worse unless I get surgery. I'm thinking it's time to bite the bullet and do it because you know my bitch ass ain't getting any younger!!!

Going to a fabulous dinner party tonight and if the last one was any indication, I'm in for some good food, fun, and friends!! Plus lots and lots of cheese.

My Homegirl Sings National Anthem

2009-11-03T01:34:00.001-05:00

BriTunes REALLY loves America this week...

O Say Can You Glee

2009-11-02T13:58:00.001-05:00

I'm out and about for Doctor's appointments today (surgery on my shoulder is looking like it's going to happen) but I wanted to send this your way. Please to enjoy.

Ghosts of Halloween Past

2009-10-30T10:14:00.010-04:00

Ah, Halloween. A magical, wonderful time filled with candy, costumes, and craziness. I've always loved Halloween, if only for the reason that for one night you can be someone other than yourself. I've had some great costumes over the years but as I've grown older they've defintitely increased in greatness.

Freshman year of college I was Roger from Rent. Shannon was Maureen, Doug was Mark, Shannon's sister Kat was Mimi and Chris was....well....I don't know that we'll ever know what character Chris was. I think he just wanted to dye his hair green.

Continuing the Rent theme, a few years later I was Angel and Heidi was Mimi.

Doug's boyfriend at the time was also Mimi but his Mimi looked more like Gloria Estefan than Mimi Marquez....oh man I wish I had a picture of that right now...

Back to college - I was the Statue of Liberty one year.

With Amanda as the little goatherd or a German or something.

Every year we as a theater department would put on a Halloween show. They were great opportunites for us to showcase our creativity and just have a lot of fun. One year there was a "Pumpkin Ballet."

that I was in with Brooke, Amy, EVT, Wifey and...was that it?

That same year we did a Rocky Horror number and I took the opportunity to channel my inner demon or...whatever I am.

Perhaps my favorite costume of all time was when Spencer, Doug, Jamie and I went as "Sex and the City."

I looked like ET with a wig on, Doug made his Miranda wig out of a pumpkin wig and Spencer as Charlotte was Asian but MAN did we have fun.

I still remember just how much work went into finding our costumes. We looked fantastic.

This year I'll be attending Halloween festivites as a pervy gym teacher. I've got the short shorts, the high socks (both courtesy of my Dodgeball uniform) the pervy mustache, yellow glasses, and a whistle. Basically my thought is to run around all night shouting "hit the showers, boys." It should be a fantastic time!

A Happy Birthday shout out goes out to my favorite (and only) roommate, Page Six!!

Happy Birthday!!! I hope your day is fantastic and that our apartment continues to smell like roses.

Male Primadonna Premiere

2009-10-29T15:48:00.001-04:00

Just another reason why Kelly is my favorite character on The Office...

Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes

Sarah Palin Needs to Recognize

2009-10-29T11:44:00.006-04:00

Bitch, no it's not! You best be recognizin'! Unlike the other men in your life, I will hit you, so watch it.

Last night was the Big Apple Dodgeball's Masquerade Ball. And if I do say so myself, I looked goooooooood.

I mean, come on. Amazing, right? Everyone really went all out last night, which was nice to see. Many celebrities were there including

Cyclops

Lady Gaga

and....The Elephant Man?

Okay, that I cannot take. I mean, that's just like, infinite amounts of creepy, no? I'm actually in the school of thought that Masks = Creepy, but putting on an elephant mask just takes it to a whole new level. THANKFULLY, however, there were no clowns there. Phew.

The usual suspects were there including More-O

Dom, and Jason

I was feeling good, feeling skinny all night and then this walked in

which prompted me to put down my piece of pizza and instead reach for a carrot stick.

After some apple bobbing in Swine Flu water

a few dances, and plenty more beer, I was starting to reach Drunk Level 4 (anger) so it was time for me to head home. Having drinks after work with some work friends, then tomorrow it's off to a spooky corn maze and Saturday is Halloween...for which the gang and I still have no plans! Someone throw a party!

Oh, and THIS?

Toooooottally on board.

Battle of the Josh

2009-10-28T16:15:00.003-04:00

Who'd you rather?

"Cougar Town's" Josh Hopkins

or "The Good Wife's" Josh Charles

I have a soft spot in my heart for Charles from "Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead" and "Threesome" but Josh Hopkins does things to me. I'm split. But what about you? Who'd you rather?