The Great Saphenous Vein

Adios Amigos

2005-08-26T15:10:00.000+10:00

Hi people,

It's official. I am not updating this site anymore.

But i will be still be visiting this blog often to revise the links, and browsing the good reads. So all is not lost.

And i will be keeping this blog for the archives.

Farewell, my readers. :)

Sub-rosa?

2005-08-24T21:56:00.000+10:00

I have been toying with the idea of setting up a private blog. No pictures of myself, none of my friends. Just of inanimate stuff.

So i will join the band of faceless authors who speak from beyond their walls of blogs.

And i don't want to be linked.

2 reasons.

1) I have been reading medical blogs, and time and time again i have seen the medical personnel bringing up the topic of patient confidentiality and how you (the author) can be threatened with legal action. To tell you offhand now, i am pretty sure i covered my tracks well, by intentionally tweaking a lot of details. But i also realized that my location and how i sometimes unwittingly (and accidentally) mention certain key details of where i study and where i go for my field visits, would narrow down the search. I am paranoid. But so what?

2) I realized that by being so open with my blog, divulging certain stuff i don't normally tell everyone, i am out in the light, while the people waiting to backstab me; i don't who they are, but i am sure i must have offended quite a few people whom i blasted and rightly so, are reading my blog diligently, and waiting to plot their next move. I am exaggerating, but it has come to my attention that some people whom i wouldn't under normal circumstances give my blog address to, have been snooping around. Actually, it has been brought to my attention a long time ago, i just didn't think too much about it, till the patient confidentiality issue cropped up.

It's nice to be faceless once in a while, and simply blog your guts out. Really.

Just like WaiterRant or Opinionstats. And without too many links around.

The downside is, my readership probably drop to a zero, and it probably take me a longer time to build it up, because i am going to make my new site as obsure as possible.

So how??? Should i or should i not.

I should.

Ask the Creator

2005-08-23T20:51:00.000+10:00

Remember how i was mentioning that since i entered university, not all my questions relating to my academic work are being answered, not because of my incompentent professors (far from that actually), but because research have not not been able to yield the answer, or no one has looked into it yet?

I recently e-mailed one of my lecturers with questions regarding a topic we were taught long ago. (Yes, that's how far behind i am in my workload. But slow and steady wins the race aye?) And the reply came back to me in bold red words.

YOU HAVE TO ASK THE CREATOR!!

I didn't know whether to laugh at this professor's weak stab at poor humour, or whether i should frown and get irritated with his unprofessionalism. I am still undecided. You tell me.

On my hand, it is indeed amusing. The exasperation the professor feels, when he is helpless against some of our questions. And so he tries to crack a joke to lighten the mood.

On the other, is it really that hard to type something along the line of,

"Hey, no one has any idea why it is like that, maybe they will find out one day, and i will be sure to let you know!!! :) "

Ok, i know, that's too much to ask. But still it sounds more intellectual right??

Haha, i guess it is really down to my mood. Having received a cynical e-mail from my spanish teacher, i am less incline to tolerate one from another.

*****
My course have a couple of postgraduates. I was chatting with one of them, when she mentioned that during the bridging course for postgraduates, the professors actually explicitly told them to hold back during the discussions, to allow the undergraduates to have a chance in expressing themselves and learn. I was quite surprised, because i thought it would be rather unfair and boring for the postgraduates. It is like playing a handicapped match. And a defiant part of me is also annoyed that they can underestimate our capabilities. It is a ridiculous thought i know. But i can't help it. I am just egoistic. Heh.

But last week, i was doing a computer prac with this postgrad. He is in his mid-thirties i guess. And he sure as hell knows a lot of background stuff. So there was this pressure to keep up with his pace. He was very considerate, always asking whether i have read whatever that was displayed on the screen and whether we could proceed. Of course i felt bad. In a way, i felt like i was holding him back, you know? So i actually had to kick my brain into motion, and was forced to speed up my thinking. Don't go "Huh?? If you can think faster, why didn't you do it in the first place?" Because it is exhausting, and i don't see why i have to rush. Either way, i will get to the finishing point anyway, and there are no prizes for the first one to get there anyhow.

And boy, i really racked my brains and matched his speed. Needless to say, i was slightly wobbly (not in the physical sense) after that. But i was happy, and satisfied with myself, because i proved that i could match up, and interestingly, i could recall some of my work, and actually apply the knowledge to deduce certain conclusions. Heh.

News Spam

2005-08-22T21:24:00.000+10:00

I'm hereby spamming my blog with more news articles, found on my hideous journey to search for references for an impending essay with grotesque topics, and an ever-yawning deadline.

I'm exhausted. Never read so many health articles in my life. My eyes can barely keep open, and it's only 9-freaking-30pm in the night. I can't go to the gym because i can't spare the time, and i doubt i can squeeze some time for some spanish learning too. Which directly translates to being slaughtered a second time by my ever-wonderful Spanish teacher.

Speaking of which, did you know i e-mailed the teacher for recommendations of any CD-roms that could provide an accurate pronunciation, so that i am able to mimic it like a parrot and learn at the same time? It was the second time i have raised the question. The first time, she gave me a very vague answer, such that i didn't realize i had no answer, till i left the class. And this is her fabulous reply.

"Ias por tu email. Remind me to talk about this to the whole class on Thursday. Saludos, XXX"

I nearly gagged when i read the first line. There is a reason why i wrote the e-mail to her in English you know? My heart sank when i scanned the first line. The second line just made me irritated. I don't know what the Spanish words mean, and i have no intention to find out. I only know that i am pretty relieved and triumphant that i went ahead with my decision to purchase my spanish books, instead of relying on a rather unreliable teacher. A teacher who wants you to get your vocabulary and grammar right by the next lesson, which is this-coming Thursday, but one who doesn't want to help you along the way by at least recommending some useful text. *Rolls eyes* I shall stop being cynical. I shall be less judgemental like my medical training is teaching me to be. Maybe she thinks i shouldn't waste money on lousy materials compared to her invaluable guidance. Qué demonios.

I just went to Elaine's place to have dinner. She whipped up a rather sumptous meal for us, sambal vegetables, and sweet and sour pork ribs? Definitely a far cry from the 2 pieces of bread i flippantly slap together with a piece of ham squeezed carelessly into the middle. How i met Elaine is rather an interesting story. It was completely unplan on both our parts. I know you are probably snorting away and thinking, "Since when were friends planned ?" I know, but this was purely accidental.

It was pouring, and i was walking to school, with a forlorn looking umbrella in one hand, and my iPod in the other. Music was blaring in my ears as i attempted to drown out the noises from the speeding cars across the puddles, and the rain pattering around. It was peaceful, and i was enjoying my nonchalant walk in the cold weather. Suddenly, i heard a voice piped out beside me, and i turned to see this girl completely drenched, popped up beside me, under my umbrella. Needless to say, i was a bit taken aback. I don't imagine people just appearing out of the blue under your umbrella, do you? Anyhow, she asked me whether i was heading to the uni, and whether she could share my umbrella. Now the last question is quite redundant anyway. Can i say NO? And proceed to chase you from under my umbrella into the pouring rain? Obviously not. But it is an act of courtesy i guess. But strange that some questions asked, are not really questions; they are merely statements of required social etiqutte disguised in the form of questions. A further testimony of the complicated society we are living in.

Ok, here are the articles.

I think implementing this sleep module into our course, is a good idea, though i am sure i will be howling my head off, from the added workload.

Doctors taught to sleep soundly

An Excerpt:

LONDON (BBC News) -- Trainee doctors are being taught the importance of getting a good night's sleep in a pioneering course.

Medical staff are renowned for working long shifts, and tiredness has been linked to an increased risk of errors.

The course at Warwick Medical School teaches students how to deal with their sleep problems, and those of patients.

Lack of sleep is a common problem, but the professor teaching the Warwick course said it is barely covered in the usual undergraduate curriculum...

Something to ponder about

2005-08-22T17:02:00.000+10:00

Have finally decided to seriously sit my ass down, and read through a Health Practice assignment, that all my friends (aside from my clique), have been stressing about. Didn't understand why they were so uptight about it, since it is only due in 2 weeks' time. But i am feeling the slight stirrings of hysteria now, when i realize i know shit about anything. So anyhow, here's an article i came across whilst sifting through some AIDS news.

I wonder why some people are just out to make quick money, without any consideration of the social implications, discrimination and mental consequences that can result due to their self-absorb mentality. Money, as far as i am concern, is not everything. I know it is important, and sometimes essential, but you know, it is not always about yourself all the time. Becoming rich out of someone's misery, that's not very unhonourable, and the money becomes filthy. How can one bring his or herself to touch and use the money then?

Doctors blast DIY Aids test Kit

An Excerpt:

Johannesburg - Doctors blasted a supermarket franchise for selling HIV/Aids kits on Tuesday, saying self-testing without counselling would be disastrous and lead to possible misuse by employers, insurers and even state officials.

"Imagine allowing a 13-year-old to self-diagnose cheaply and without any support or counselling, it could destroy their lives," said Kgosi Letlape, chairperson of the independent South African Medical Association (Sama) which groups some 17 000 doctors.

"It could lead to suicide or someone going on a spree and infecting as many people as possible," he said reacting to a report on Monday that a supermarket franchise had put up a do-it-yourself HIV/Aids kit for sale...

Life's funny antics

2005-08-21T19:37:00.000+10:00

I was recounting about Friday's incident, and i found it quite funny, after the shock had passed. After some careful analysis, i don't think that girl was drunk. She was most probably on a dare, and her crimson red face was due to her furious blushing. Actually, in that kind of situation, her only hope of completing the dare would be to rattle off her question the minute the person opened the door, and do what she needed to do before the victim could reply, and then hurriedly disappearing before whatever that happened had registered in the victim's shocked brain.

Fortunately for her, that kind of tactic may have worked for most people, but not for an extreme homophobic like me. If that happened, a red mist would probably have descended upon me, and my self-control evaporated. I would have probably hunted her down, and hurt her real bad, until i feel that my repulsion and shame have been sufficiently compensated. But the probability of that happening before she lies unconscious, bleeding, or with enough bone breakages to commit her into a hospital for a good half a year, is extremely slim. So i am really glad she read my body language. I wouldn't have been able to bear that kind of consequences when my sanity returns. I doubt she would be able to.

I was relating the incident with my mum over MSN, because i found it really amusing after that. There was a long pause from her side, before, i assume, she recovered from her shock. Apparently, she doesn't share the same sense of humour as me. This was how the conversation went.

"Yesterday a girl tried to kiss me, i thought she was drunk. Haha, so funny."

(A major long pause. I actually i thought i got somehow disconnected without my knowledge.)

"Make sure you don't get entangle in such a mess!"

"..." (What the hell. Obviously not the kind of response i was expecting.)

"Obviously i won't lah! I have got a butch as a neighbour, maybe she completed her dare there instead."

"What?! I thought your neighbours were Singaporean boys?"

(Me, highly bemused. It's strange my mum rather i have a couple of guys as neighbours, than a butch. I wonder whether she managed to figure out which anatomical part can actually be of more danger.)

"Eh...my neighbour opposite is a butch lah."

"That girl Singaporean ah?"

"Yeah. From Raffles Junior College."

(Another silence. For your info, Raffles Junior College is supposedly the most prestigious school in Singapore, so my mum was probably trying to connect this nugget of information and the revolting behaviour of the girl. She probably couldn't make the connectione. Hah.)

"These girls. Parents spend so much money to send them here, and they do this kind of nonsense."

Spoken like a true kiasu Singaporean parent. I shook my head, the joke completely lost and stale. I changed the subject. Some things, parents just don't get it. They worry about everything else, but the funny part. I wonder what my father would have done if i had told him instead. It would have been interesting witnessing his reaction. Heh.

*****
I was revising through my notes, when i did a Google search. I happen to be studying about obesity now, and how it is a major concern of all medical (and non-medical) personnel.

First off, i just need to say that it has been proven that obesity is 75% genetic. It could be due to a lack of certain chemicals in the body, hence appetite cannot be suppressed. Obesity can also be triggered by some dormant genes. For example, if you eat more than you should, normally the body would try to get rid of the excess weight, to return to the normal set point (ideal weight). Unfortunately, for some people, the overeating causes certain dormant genes to be triggered, such that the set point is raised higher than the normal ideal value. So they cannot help eating, because it is controlled genetically.

There are strong evidence too. Studies done on identical twins, who were separated from birth, and who grew up in highly different environments tend to have similar weights, and their weight range is closer to their biological parents than to their adoptive parents. So obesity is not just due to being gluttony or slothful.

But, there are a couple of judgemental people out there who are discriminating against obese people.

Ellen White charged that Israel was destroyed by obesity, saying that God granted their desire, giving them flesh, and leaving them to eat till their gluttony produced a plague.

This is an utter load of crap. Don't put words into God's mouth, and use his name in any kind of agenda you have.

Gwen Shamblin, a woman who set up the Weigh Down workshop, reaping millions of dollars from it, stated that gluttony is a sin, shamelessly basing her diet on the Holocaust, with no sensitvity to the people who been through it.

This is an appalling excerpt.

"I don't think there's any debate whether genetics plays a role in obesity and weight loss," Vanderbilt dietitian Jamie Pope tells investigative reporter Phil Williams.

She points to numerous scientific studies of children separated from their birth parents, as well as studies of twins.

"Identical twins that are reared even apart end up being very similar in body weight despite different environments."

But Shamblin counters, "I believe that's described from Exodus 20 where it talks about the sins of the generation."

So what's Shamblin's basis for rejecting the role of genetics?

"Gwen went on to say that there were survivors of the Holocaust who got out of there alive not having had barely any food at all," says former employee Tonya Cardente.

Cardente says Shamblin frequently pointed to the Nazi genocide of the Jews and saw justification for her diet plan. "Clearly you can survive on a whole lot less than you think, look at the Holocaust victims."

"This is not true that I've used the Holocaust over and over again," Shamblin responds. "It's somebody who told you that. I have not."

But on CNN's Larry King Live, this is what the Weigh Down founder said:

"How in the Holocaust did you have all these people getting down real skinny? They ate less food."

And in a videotaped deposition obtained by NewsChannel 5, she explained her rejection of the role of genetics:

A: "What I base the genetics on is documentation in the seige in the Holocaust, that when people were in prison camps and ate less food, they lost weight -- all of them."

Then, another fellow who submitted an article to the Medical Journal of Australia.

John N Burry said that Self-Control of one's weight might be described as a form of bioethics. In other words, he is saying that the obese choose to be obese, and in doing so, put a strain on the health system and economy.

Can you please tell me, which person wants to be fat?? Isn't the reason for diet pills flying off the shelves the major attraction of people trying desperately hard to lose weight?

I am not sure why these people have such mentalities. But i do know that obesity is not always the result of a person's laziness and greed. That say, i also want to emphasize that being obese is not beneficial to oneself at all. Obesity brings a whole host of medical problems such as hypertension and Diabetes Mellitus Type 2. A proper diet and regular exercise is the best way to live a good life! :)

P/S: After much searching and hunting, i finally bought 2 Spanish supplement books. This time, they have both English and Spanish translations, so i at least i understand what the hell is in front of me. Forgo purchasing a dictionary, because i felt i was still too early in my language learning to have to make such an expensive investment. Furthermore, there is always time for me to get one, when i return home to Singapore, end of this year. It would be much cheaper too. And i didn't bother to buy any audio CDs or CD-Roms. Gave up trying to find a suitable one, since all had mixed reviews. Anyhow, one of the books i bought, Hugo Spanish in 3 months, had comprehensible ways of pronunciation, so that was great. If i am still unsure of how to pronunce it, i shall refer to my teacher, since i am forking out the money anyway. The other book i got was Spanish by Association. The minute i laid my eyes on the book's contents, i knew i was never going to let go of it, and i just realized that it has fabulous reviews. Coincidentally, both books i bought were the last copies, and well within my budget. What a good bargain. Heh.

Shaking like a leaf

2005-08-19T23:36:00.000+10:00

A good half hour ago, i heard a rap on my door.

I was busy learning my Spanish Grammer. I heard the sound, waited for a couple of seconds, before i walked to my door. I peered through the peep hole and i saw a couple of laughing girls at my neighbour's door.

I must have heard wrongly.

So i returned to my desk to resume my Spanish revision.

A second rap on my door. This time, louder and clearer.

I waited again, as i tried to commit a spanish phrase into my memory before i strode to the door.

I saw a girl outside my door. I didn't recognize her. She was alone and she looked harmless, so i opened the door.

I stared at her.

"Yes?"
"Er..."

I looked at her. Her face was a crimson red. She looked drunk. A sense of foreboding filled me. A drunkard at my door?

I heard a couple of giggles, and i turned to see another girl at the corner. Friend of this girl. Uh oh.

I stared at the friend, and she vanished from view.

"Did you get the wrong apartment?" I asked, vaguely recalling a similar incident occurring a couple of months back. I was eager to end this, and i wanted to get back to my Spanish.

"Er..." she dumbly replied, again.

She turned back to glance at her giggling friend.

I stood there, and slowly, i inched the door close, till it was only 1/3 ajar.

Is this girl possessed? I wondered, as my overactive imagination kicked into life. I stared at her, wondering what the hell was going on, and what i was supposed to do. I noticed the Raffles Junior College emblem on her T-shirt. A fellow Singaporean...

"Can i kiss you?" she suddenly blurted out.

Stunned but without a moment's hesitation, i firmly retorted.

"No."

She stepped into my apartment, oblivious to my answer, advancing towards me.

Appalled at the audacity of this girl, I let go of the door and took a step back.

The blood rushed into my head.

Shit. I thought wildly. I had to fight. This girl was not giving me any chance.

She propped my door open and came closer.

I got into a defensive stance, and raised my right hand, with my finger in the air. Her last warning, and my final call to defend.

She saw, and she understood.

She hurriedly retreated, and called out to her friend, "She won't allow me."

I slammed the door shut with a resounding bang. And proceeded to slip the lock loudly into place.

I walked to my desk and tried to re-read my Spanish, but i couldn't concentrate. I couldn't sit still.

Then the shakes started. The adrenaline still coursing strongly in my veins. Moves after judo moves whizzed into my head. I shook as i thought of the close shave, and the consequences that would have resulted. Both of us could have gotten hurt, because of her stupidity.

The shakes wouldn't stop. It always happens before i brace myself for a fight and in the aftermath.

Fucking Rafflesian.

Need to calm down. Need to breathe. Need to relax. Damn her.

Ayúdeme

2005-08-18T20:45:00.000+10:00

I'm tired. And i am stressed.

Spanish class was hell.

Feel so guilty. Lagging behind everyone. Can't understand a damn word the professor is saying. I know i can keep up, that's why i feel so bad. But i can't spare the time. I really can't.

I am so sorry if you are mad, or if you are unhappy with my attitude. But that's just the way it is. 2 hours is too long. You speak in Spanish, ramble on and on. I can absorb the first few vocab words, understand some grammar; i'm happy. But you are not. You want me to know the whole damn list, 30++ words, in 2 hours? After a long day in school? I am sorry, i am not that capable.

Maybe the boss of the language centre is pressurizing you, maybe the rest of the class is very eager to learn. Go ahead, i am not stopping you. But why do you still pick on me?? I know you want me to get my Spanish right. I know you want me to make my money worth. But sometimes, you got to understand, maybe Spanish ain't my first priority in life right now. I am not a very good audio learner. I am a visual learner. You are a professor. You should know that by now. Different people learn things differently man. You want me to learn, you write it down. You can't commit that kind of effort or time, it's fine with me. Just leave me alone in class. I know you care, and i don't want to make things difficult, but please. Try to read my body language. Maybe this is a mistake.

Too much things to handle. Too much to remember. I am stress. If this continues, i am going to get a breakdown, or i will turn violent.

Leave me alone. I will get my stuff right in time to come. Just need a little understanding on your part. Don't make me regret this.

Update

2005-08-18T17:20:00.000+10:00

Typing this on a brand-new Mac (it's a flat screen with vibrant colours! The only thing Macs got it right) in my school's computer lab. Practical ended early, so i have more time on my hands than i forsee, before Spanish class. I should be reading something about conjugate verbs that Erfana (my friend) reminded me, but, oh, what the hell.

A little about what happened the past few days.

Prissy X (my housemate, obviously not her name) forgot to lock my apartment. I came home one day, after visiting the post office to collect a parcel my mum sent me, and at the same time, misjudging the size of it. So i was balancing the box precariously on one hip, with 2 arms wrapped helplessly around it, and an iPod that was being juggled crazily around, threatening to crash to the ground soon, if i wasn't more gentle to it. I swore when i saw a letter in my mailbox, not because i hate for people to write to me and that i have to be forced to write back (hell no), but because with so many things to handle, i still had to stick my key into the stubborn lock, prodded and jangled it with much annoyance before it finally succumbed. That's the kind of service you are provided, for the hefty sum of money you fork out to the place where i am saying. I shall refrain from ~~complaining~~ rambling on.

So anyhow, when i finally got to the front of the apartment door, i was hoping X (my housemate) would magically appear, so i wouldn't have to fumble around the lock again. Obviously, i was dreaming, and X is not that civic-minded anyway. Whatever. I slipped the key in, and my jaw dropped, when the key turned effortlessly, and the door swung open. Under normal circumstances, it wouldn't have been unusual. But under the conditions of where i am staying, where the locks don't resist and fight the useless battle with you before eventually giving way? No way.

So i entered my apartment. I assumed X was doing her laundry, and was going to come back right in. But a quick check round the apartment showed that no one was home. And a small voice piped up in my head. Even if X had left to do her laundry, she should have locked the damn apartment because no one is home. Anyone could have entered, grabbed one of our laptops or something else of value in 1 minute, and make a quick getaway without her knowledge. Hell, i lock the apartment even if X is in her room, because that girl could witness an avalanche without batting an eyelid. She's that bother-less, if there is such a word in the first place.

So i rang her mobile. It would be pretty dumb if she had been holing up in some corner of her room and i failed to see her. (We don't say hi to each other when we meet or when we come home. It's that strange with X. She just doesn't care, so i just ignore it.) She answered.

"Yeah?"
"Hey X, it's me, Mag."
"Are you at home?" (A dumb question, but what the hell)
"No, i am in prac now."
"Er...you forgot to lock the apartment before you left."
"Oh."
"Ok, never mind." i hastily said before hanging up abruptly. Believe me, i would have love to yell something rude over the phone, but i was too exhausted with my schoolwork, and it is just typical X's behaviour anyway. Very careless.

Anyhow, she probably didn't want it to happen anyway. Bottomline, nothing is missing, so that's cool. But one thing that bugged me. X never bothered to explain or apologize to me. In fact, she only gave me a flimsy excuse that she probably turned the lock the wrong way, after i smsed her, asking whether she brought her keys out with her, since i maybe out of the house later, and she may get locked out. Plus, later when she came home, she didn't mention anything about it too. I would have been extremely guilty and apologetic. Whatever...

*****
Went to church on Monday. It was a day of obligation, meaning, it was compulsory. Amidst numerous groans, Suba and i rushed to church after my lecture. It was the Feast of the Assumption (wait...maybe it is the Assumption of the Feast). Ok, i am not sure. Too bad. I don't even know what it is about, so i made up my mind to listen extra hard to the preaching priest, to get an idea what that day was about. The priest started his homily (something like a speech), and i caught myself drifiting off, in the first few sentences. Hastily, i dragged myself back to attention, having not forgotten my resolution. I strained my ears to hear what he said. Only heard 2 sentences, and he ended off.

My eyes widened in shock. That has got to be the shortest homily i ever heard in my entire life! It lasted less than 5 minutes! I turned to stare at Suba, and she had the same flabbergasted expression. And mass ended in 40 minutes, a far cry from the usual hour. Amazing. And i thought i sort of knew what the Feast was about, but apparently i was wrong. I heard the gospel, and i thought it was refering to the birth of Mary from Elizabeth (yeah, go aheasd, laugh all you want...), but Suba told me Elizabeth is the cousin of Mary. So i got rather confused.

Ok, i really need to scan through my spanish now. Will update about today's prac soon. It was outrageously hilarious, whilst i was completing it with my lab partners. And more pictures. The convenience of having a camera phone!

For the heck of it...and my stauch reluctance to study

2005-08-16T00:09:00.000+10:00

You scored as Sirius Black. You are a gifted wizard and very loyal to your allegiance. Whilst you have a big heart and care very much about those around you, you can be a little arrogant and reckless at times.

Sirius Black

80%

Harry Potter

80%

Albus Dumbledore

75%

Severus Snape

70%

Hermione Granger

70%

Remus Lupin

65%

Ginny Weasley

60%

Ron Weasley

60%

Draco Malfoy

45%

Lord Voldemort

20%

Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...?
created with QuizFarm.com

Feeling the heat

2005-08-15T23:05:00.000+10:00

The heat is on. I can feel the pressure brewing. Med school is starting to feel busier and busier. I hate to admit this, but i hope i am not drowning in the pile of schoolwork. But this is where i must commend the professors for their sneaky and cunning behaviour of providing very little material for us to study. I guess, so that we can't turn around and wag our accusing fingers into their smug faces, and reproach them for over-burdening us with workloads that are impossible to complete. But under the table, we are expected to do hell a lot of self-study by ourselves. Either that or we are left floundering on our own. Not that i mind the self-study bit. Sadistic as it may sound, it is actually quite fun. But fun has a fine line. Too much, and it becomes trouble.

I also realized that when i study in school now and i have queries or anything like that, and i seek clarification by researching or asking someone, i always get this sentence popping out.
"Insufficient evidence to prove that so and so...." or "Current research is still unable to find out so and so..." or "The mechanism is poorly understood."

It's really strange. Having been spoon-fed with information to all my questions my entire life, it gets a bit weird that now there are no answers. And i have been getting this feeling that our understanding of how the entire human body works, and the interactions between our bodies and both micro and macroscopic environment are rudimentary at the very least. It's like this whole frontier that we have yet to conquer, and heaps more have to be done to improve our health.

Oh, and i read this article today about avian flu. And how the H5N1 strain is the most lethal. I will confess that my understanding of avian flu is the bare minimum, because i simply don't have the patience to pore through medical articles to understand why the WHO is so uptight about it, and the normal newspapers don't elaborate much in detail about how the symptoms spread and all. All this came to an abrupt end today, culminating in a deep sense of fear and foreboding in me that lasted all of 5 minutes before it gradually faded, like most fears which you know do not lie within your control (and so your mind goes into denial as a defensive mechanism. Heh.).

The virus everyone is so hyped up about is the H5N1 strain. It is fatal. So far it is found in birds, which can kill them in days. There are rare, isolated cases of transmission of the virus from the birds to humans. Human to human transmission of this virus is yet to happen, and this is the armageddon everyone is holding their breaths for. Anyway, pigs are the only other animal who is able to get infected by human flu. And recently, they discovered that pigs got infected with bird flu too. Which simply means that, if a pig is infected with both strains (bird and human flu viruses) simultaneously, the different viruses can mutate and exchange genetic material, such that the bird flu virus can infect us and we would be 100% defenceless. I can't remember the exact number they estimated would die is such a pandemic does occur, but i know it was in the million range, large enough to make me draw my breath sharply whilst i was scanning through it in the med library. So there. Now you know too. Don't panic. Haha. :)

Recently, i have also been having this amusing professor to lecture us. He mentioned a couple of funny stuff.

For example, there was this study or research (whatever you call it), where scientists were trying to find out why some people like to exercise whilst others don't. They want to know whether it is genetic. Since you can't perform such experiments on humans, they turn to the other convenient source, the most ~~vulnerable~~ remarkable laboratory mice. Now, you animal activists out there, don't continue to read on and then spam my comment section in rage. I am not the one doing all these experiments, so you can vent your anger elsewhere. You have been warned. Yeah, so anyway, the scientists put these mice in a cage with a treadwheel. Those absolutely noisy things that hamsters absolutely love to run on in the dead of the night.

The researchers found that some mice took to running on the wheel promptly. Others drifted off and settled down. Now, the cage is constructed in a way such that when those mice who refuse to run, sits down, they get zapped by a electric shock or get a jet of hot air blasted into them, attempts to compel the mice to run. And to the researchers immense surprise, some of these mice, would reluctantly get on their lazy asses to run, but some actually continue sitting there. They rather get zapped then run, which was extremely hilarious. People are like that too. Some would work out naturally with no fuss, others would finally work out after much prodding, and yet others who would just die if they have to work out. I am not sure whether they did manage to find a gene responsible for this high inertia to exercise yet; i think it is still in one of those notorious grey areas.

Ok, i need to hit my textbooks again. I have been forced to cut down on my precious sleep, in a feeble bid to conquer at least some of this workload that has been shoved rather uncourteously into my face. Coffee here tastes bitter no matter the number of spoonfuls of sugar you shove into the beverage. So caffeine is not an ally in my battle against the Zzzz monster here. It's maddening.

P/S: Read this article from the Age. It is absolutely hilarious! I admit it. We men are Stupid.

Australian Accent

2005-08-13T23:10:00.000+10:00

I need to do something about my accent. My Singaporean accent.

It is so frustrating. The Australians don't understand me. And i don't understand them.

It is getting to the point where i have to repeat myself a couple of useless times, before i surrender and shut up. I feel so self-conscious about my own pronounciation, i start stumbling when i talk, which frankly, is quite ridiculous. And i absolutely just can't bring myself to switch to the Aussie accent. It is just so not me.

As if being unable to communicate with local classmates ain't enough, i am having trouble understanding patients. When i go on a field visit, which was a couple of days ago, i really couldn't understand this patient i was interviewing. In order not to annoy him or make him feel bad or in anyway worse than the shape he is already in, i had to force this knowing expression on my face, and nodded in cue to his body language. to indicate my comprehension, when i don't. Horrible situation to be in. And the whole time, i hope i wouldn't be caught in the situation whereby i ask him a question only for him to shoot me with this incredulous look, because he just mentioned it a minute ago.

What am i going to do???

P/S: If i sound angry or frustrated, i am not. I am just too darn sleepy. I need to find a solution to my woes, which i assume would come soon. Either that, or i have to add another high priority item to my already crammed to-do list: Listen to the Aussie radio broadcasts for at least an hour a day. Arghh.

Glucose Tolerance Test

2005-08-12T22:56:00.000+10:00

Today, i had one of the nastiest practicals over. Slowly, over the past few days, i have come to realize that med professors are a bunch of sardistic dudes, and i guess, to qualify as a true med student, you have to machoistic. I'm serious.

Today's practical was a glucose tolerance test. It is a test to check the glucose levels you have in your blood, the kind diabetics use to monitor their blood glucose levels closely. Basically, if you have uncontrolled diabetes, too high or too low a blood glucose level can be fatal, especially with the latter.

Firstly, we had to fast. That means i cannot eat or drink any sugary stuff from 10am onwards till we go for the practical, which is at 1pm. As you all should know by now, yours truly have a colossal appetite. Breakfast is light at 8.15am. Lunch, an absolute must, is at 11.15am. But those monsters in charge of us up there decided that we should starve ourselves. Plus, if we must absolutely drink, it can only be pure water, or black coffee. And i don't drink water!! I drink Ribena man, and that's what i packed today as well.

Hence, throughout the entire morning tutorial, i was restraining myself quite forcefully from reaching across the table to grab one of the oh-so-delicious raisin muffins, or the wonderfully delectable danishes or hell, even one of the amazing butter crossaints that one of my classmates brought. But i hate to munch on something and take notes at the same time, because it is just so darn messy and troublesome. By the time i actually got round to heck it, and decide to just grab one of those evil pastries that were beckoning to me, the clock turned 10. How appropriate. So i couldn't eat.

I was hoping i would be able to survive the entire tute without dying of embarassement from my growling stomach, but i was dead wrong. You would have expected me to get use to my lousy streak of luck that has been dogging me for years, by now, but alas no. So anyhow, my stomach started growling. That's fine. I just fidgeted loudly, shifting my papers and files in a bid to conceal the noises. And my stomach growled even louder. There is just so much you can do in shifting your stuff nosily around the table. If you shift around too much, people will soon notice and start to stare. Worse, someone might just ask whether anything is bothering me out, of their kind intentions, which was the last thing i needed at the moment. So i gave up moving my books and files on the table. And i started to fidget in my seat, and tugging my backpack from the ground to my lap. All in my lousy attempts to cover up the sickening rumblings my stomach was bent on emitting. But my stomach was simply set on infuriating me. It just grumbled on and on, each time louder and faster. I panicked. I knew the people sitting beside me, the ones closest to me, the very ones that i didn't want them to hear the embarrassing noises were distracted. If they were not disturbed by my ravenous stomach, they had to be disturbed by my not so subtle erratic movements.

I surrendered. I yanked my bottle of Ribena out of my bag and took a couple of long swigs from it, savouring the sweetness as it ran down my throat like a much-awaited oasis, and finally calming and pacifying my stomach. I was obviously screwed for my experiment, since i broke my fast, and added glucose into my bloodstream. And seeing that, i might as well popped a piece of chewing gum in for good measure. That made my stomach settle down for a while. But in the hour before my prac, when i attended a lecture, it started its tantrum again, the war cries loud and clear. I think Charmaine was rather amused. I daren't look at the postgrad seated on my other side. I rather not know his expression.

I finally survived to the start of my prac without succumbing to anymore edible temptation.

And there, they taught us how to measure our blood glucose levels. We had to prick ourselves just to draw blood, to place it on a little strip with an electrode on one end, so that it can be measured by the electronic glucometer. And it's not once. It's 5 times! Once at the end of our damn fast, and 4 times after we ingested a dextrose (sugar) solution they made for us, plus a urine test. Tell me, are they sadistic or what??

So here's the meter that is used to measured the glucose from the drop of blood we fed it. The strip with the electrode on one end is sticking out at the top.

And this innocent looking thing is not something you should tinker around with. It's a damn finger puncher. I hate it. I remembered getting pricked by it once in primary school, to determine what blood group i was in, and boy, it sure hurt like a bitch. Even after today, after i poked myself 5 times, my opinions remain the same. The tip is the one concealing the needle point. I felt so jittery having to poke myself. I mean, getting someone to prick you is bad enough, but to do it yourself, when you can anticipate the needle puncturing your skin, down to the last millisecond?? That's crazy man. Plus, not to mention the few times, my fingers shook so much, i couldn't hold the thing properly to depress it, so it was like one false start after another. Totally nerve-wrecking.

I pricked on my pointer first, then my middle finger. Initially i wanted to use all 5 fingers on my left hand, but i abruptly changed my mind, when one of my friends warned me that the pinky would hurt like hell. The pointer finger was ok, but the middle one? It brought a strong resurgence of the memory i had in primary school, and my ring finger started feeling tender, so there was no way i was going to prick that. In the end, i sacrificed my pointer and poked it 3 times. The first was a breeze, the second so-so, the third, a bitch. It hurt like f**k. I poked on my thumb and that was my first and last. It didn't hurt, but there was no blood coming either. What is the point of poking and not drawing blood then? There was no way i was going to make an extra hole in my left hand, so i just stood at the table, desperately squeezing my thumb, (till it was compressed to half its size!) before a miserable drop of blood finally came out. Horrible. And not to mention, a try when the glucometer died on me, and there i had with sufficient blood on my pointer, waiting anxiously for the coordinator to re-charge the battery (can you believe it?? Out of the 9 people in my group, it chose to die on me! What the hell.), and finally, having to reluctantly wipe off the blood because it was drying up. And to squeeze another pint out of it. Ok, i am joking, but it sure felt like that.

So, there my fingers, proudly barring the battle scars of today's practical.

When i went to my COSDU (Catholic Overseas Students Down Under) meeting today, one of my friends was asking me in shock what happened. She happens to be a 5th year medical student. When i told her i had to take the glucose tolerance test, this is what she had to say.

"Oh dear, poor you! They suspected you had diabetes is it?"

Me, eyes widening in shock, thinking inwardly, HELL NO! and stuttering,

"No No, i had to do an experiment. To see the effects of insulin and all."

"Oh really? I never had to do it! I only remember the urine one."

Me thinking, Oh great, thanks. I really needed to know that.

The dextrose solution they made us ingest tasted like utter shit. It was horrible. It was all i could do to prevent myself from throwing up. Even thinking about it now, makes me want to heave. It was just plain gross. Had to hold my breath and psyched myself up to think that it is simple some apple juice i was consuming. And talking about juices. 2 days ago, i drank like 1 or 2 cups of apple and mango juice, The next day, i was going to drink the remainder from the carton itself, when i noticed that it looked strangely bloated. Next thing i know, i saw the expiry date screaming into my face. USE BY 28 JUL 05! Uh oh. And i drank so much of it. Strange thing was, i had no diarrhea or stomache, just a few incesseant grumbles that's all. Weird, especially since i have such sensitive digestive system. Some things are better left unknown man.

Anyhow, we plotted a graph of our blood glucose levels. I was rather surprised that despite my failure to fast, my blood glucose level was fairly low. In fact, it was lower than many of the others who fasted, which led me to triumphantly think to myself, "A ha! These crazy professors. Don't they realize different people have different blood glucose needs? People like me need more input!!"

But i got rather nervous when i discovered my graph had the greatest variation in my group. I had the highest glucose peak level after ingestion of the revolting solution, but it dropped to the lowest in the next half hour. That's normal. Insulin will reduce the blood glucose levels by stimulating cells to absorb more of the glucose from the blood. Diabetics lack insulin, and so the glucose remain in their blood for a longer period of time. But i didn't like the fact that i seemed to be exhibiting the greatest peak and drops. It made me nervous, like i was different and had some flaw in my system or something. One of my groupmates even commented that i must have very sensitive insulin mechanism. That didn't make me feel any better. Because what the hell does sensitive insulin mechanism mean anyway?? I clarified with the coordinator that i didn't have a disease that had effects the direct opposite of diabetes, before i was put at ease. She simply echoed the comment left by my prac mate. Thank God. Haha.

Needless to say, the minute my prac ended, and i exited the lab, i attacked the butter crossaint in my bag from this morning's tute (which one of my friends told me to take along for after-prac snack) with much gusto. Crossaints never tasted that good. But i hate it when my meals go haywire. Despite eating a choctop and a bowl of seafood curry laksa for dinner, i still feel hungry. Damn.

PPS: Been watching a couple of movies lately. Layer Cake, a Brit gangster crime thriller is so-so, not too bad. Watched Land of The Dead as well, the worst zombie show i ever watched. No plot, no climax, nothing. Shitty show. And i love zombie shows. This one is just giving the zombie genre a bad name. It left a really bad aftertaste.

The Wedding Crashers was totally uncensored. Tim, Ravind and Mun Ling were enjoying all the crude jokes, and laughing out loud, whilst i was just sitting in my seat, watching a lot of naked women whizzing past on the screen. I have no sense of humour when it comes to nudity. It is just so not funny. In fact, all i can remember from that dumb show and the zombie one, is a pair of boobs, which seriously, is not very nice, especially when i am not even a guy. What the hell. But some of the scenes can really make you cringe and laugh nervously, because they are simply so embarassing!

Watched Crash just now as well. Heard rave reviews from Wenting. It's good, just that i am more than a little sick to hear about racism. I don't know. Just that there was so many things about race, colours and nationalities that it quite simply confounded me. I think the show was mainly trying to tell us that we shouldn't judge things on the surface. The one wrong act someone does, does not mean that his entire character is condemned. It may simply mean that at that point of time, when the particular situation and circumstances arose, the person could not handle the pressure and simply succumbed to it, and thus mismanaging the entire situation. So we shouldn't be too quick to jump to conclusions. It was good that the show managed to skilfully highlight that point to me.

PPS: That Mun Ling gave me hell of a scare this morning. Apparently she wanted to surprise me the minute she touched down in Malaysia, so she decided to call me. But i didn't answer since i was in a tutorial, so she proceeded to call me 6 times! And her number is registered as private, same as my parents. When i saw the 6 missed calls from a private number, i nearly got a heart attack. I thought some emergency had happened at home or something. Phew.

PPPS: Apparently it snowed and hailed in some of the suburbs today. But i saw nothing. In fact, tonight seemed to be one of the warmest nights ever.

Farewell

2005-08-11T21:27:00.000+10:00

Mun Ling is officially leaving tonight. Midnight flight. We had our last dinner together with Tim and Ravind, in Subway, after my Spanish class. It felt quite surreal. Having so many misleading departures, it just felt that she was returning to her friend's place in the suburbs like every other ordinary day. But it was only when we gave each other a rather stiff hug, and she went up the tram, with her hefty lugguage, and the waves we exchanged which lasted longer than usual as the emotionless tram sped off into the distance, did the 3 of us realized she is really not coming back. It's sad. Won't even know when we will meet again. End of this year? 3 years? 6 years after we graduate? When we are married and have kids? Or never at all? So strange. But as Tim put it, life goes on. And on we shall.

Spanish lesson today was definitely much better, though i was late. No excuses, but i was trying to memorize all the spanish vocabulary we were supposed to learn, and i didn't have time, after all Spanish takes the backseat when it comes to med. I have been so busy, and i have got a ton of work to catch up with, and i am not really sure why it always ends up like this. I initially contemplated resuming Judo (don't roll your eyes and go thinking, "She's back at it again!"), and shifting my Spanish class from thursday to monday night, but maybe not. I am just too busy now, and Spanish needs more work than i anticipated. But then again, i tend to always underestimate this kind of stuff don't i? And i am starting to like the Spanish teacher, though she's goes very fast and all, but hey, at least she didn't swear at me in some incomprehensible spanish today. :) And, i also think maybe some of the other students think i am dumb, haha. But this teacher relies heavily on audio teaching, which i think is the case when you learn a language, and i hate audio learning. Everytime she utters a word, i conjure the spelling visually in my mind, but you know it gets pretty exhausting when she mumbles a whole string of words. Plus, her pronounciation is not consistent, so i get pretty confused as i sort through the spellings in my head. So that means, i may have to put in slightly more effort than every other person, but that's fine, i am happy, and that's all that matters. Though i will let on that sometimes i do feel a tad annoyed and frustrated when some over-zealous classmates, or even the teacher herself, put in more than neccessary effort to explain some stuff i seeked to clarify. It's fine if that is the question i ask in the first place. But it's always not. They are just repeating themselves, and worse, repeating stuff than i already know, but i don't want to be rude, so i just sit there absorbing it all. And then they sit back with this self-satisfied smile, as though they have done a great deed in managing to explain some seemingly complicated stuff to a seemingly idiot like me, when it is obviously not the case. But that's fine too, as long as i am in a good mood. Hah.

Ok, i got to get back to my tutorial. It's due tomorrow. Oh yeah, don't you worry about my computer, Sam passed me a Microsoft office disk, so everything is sort of settled now. Thanks for your concern. :) I just have to install all my camera and iTunes program that's all, but it's not that urgent at the moment. Main priority is Biochemistry!!!

Near cardiac arrest

2005-08-10T10:25:00.000+10:00

After an exhausting night of searching for microsoft office, i finally found an alternative. OpenOffice. A free alternative to Microsoft office, and you can view office documents using this application. Only drawback is less fonts, less bullet variations and numbers and all that stuff. But basically it's the same, i can use it. I can type my notes and all. So it's good. Definitely better than being office-less, and having to run to school and stay there till dusk just to use microsoft word to type my notes.

Then this morning, i was intending to print out the map for the hospital i was due to go for a field visit in the afternoon, when my jaw dropped. My printer program was gone. Which meant that i had to re-install it. I inserted the driver into the my external CD-Rom drive and nothing happened. Zilch.

I stared at the screen in confusion, and it dawned upon me. My external CD-Rom drive had to be re-installed as well. Panic clutched me. I was near hysteria, because every other damn driver i need to install requires the bloody CD-Rom drive.

I remembered vividly that Fujitsu out of their dumbness, gave me floopy disks to install my CD-Rom drive, but my laptop is a fucking Tablet. There ain't no floppy disk drives to install it!! So i just sat in my chair in a daze.

Then, i decided to try my luck online. I was hoping these major companies were not so foolish as not to put their drivers online. Thank God for the internet.

I downloaded all the drivers, for my printer and my CD-Rom drive. Presto. All is well...till my next bombshell that is probably lying in wait for me.

Can't study, can't focus, can't do my tutorial. Feeling damn disoriented and unease.

For now, i shall iron my formal clothes to get to the hospital.

More later.

New Vocation in life - Computer hacker. To counter hack those brainless scums

2005-08-09T16:23:00.000+10:00

Shit, my computer kena 4 infected Windows file. Trojans. I hate them.

So mad, had to start recovery disk. Only backed up my important notes. Didn't realize microsoft office is not included as part of the recovery.

So now, i have no microsoft office and can do nothing, when i seem to need to do everything at this juncture.

Don't you just love the people who invented viruses. They make your life so much more colourful.

To the person who invented the Trojan Horse. Fuck you. I hope you are happy i can't resume my studies or my assignments.

May God bless you with both a direct and an indirect inguinal hernia. And may both hernias be non-reducible.

Damn you.

Long disjointed entry ahead

2005-08-09T10:14:00.000+10:00

Too many things to blog. So little time to type. And a laughing hyena (En 2) (she is on a sugar high from her cough drops. can you believe that? Like who the hell gets high on cough drops???) beside me for added distractions. Heh.

I am typing this on my school's mac, in between my lectures. That's how pressed for time i am.

Know how you see someone, and it conjures a vivid image of a character you read it a novel, like a million billion years ago? One of the professor who is lecturing us now, i swear, she looks just like the lead character in Roald Dahl's The Witches. I'm dead serious. She sports long hair (like nearly up to her waist?), and wears rather youngish clothes like short skirts and tight-fitting tops, but by golly, she's pushing 50 man. Looking at her, i can understand why so many women are so fearful of aging. She's like the epitome of aging or something. I am not being mean, but can't you just age gracefully, instead of trying to stop your youth from passing by grasping at it futilely? She looks like she was late for her Botox treatment or something man. Come on, stick to your age, age elegantly. I shudder whenever i think of myself trapped alone in a room with her. Just the mere thought makes my skin crawls and my heart skips a beat. I sure as hell do not want to risk being turned into a mouse! ;)

*****
So i have been like running around recently. Mun Ling, one of my good friends over here in Melbourne, has decided that her happiness doesn't lie here, but in somewhere else, so she's quitting the course (but not medicine altogether). She's leaving tomorrow, or so i think :), so i got to hang out with her more often. God knows when we will meet again, she is not even Singaporean. Looks like i have to make more trips to the Petronas Towers in Kuala Lumpur if we are going to keep in touch.

*****

Thursday i had my science experiment. The Body temperature one. Remember i was supposed to be a subject? Thank God i swapped with another fella. There were actually 2 subjects, one for back-up. But the other subject in my group was sick or something too. Fortunately, i had the brains not to rely on him, but to swap and save my own skin beforehand. Subjects had to dress in singlets and shorts. Initially, i thought of chickening out, since i am a rather conservative dresser. Wanted to trick the coordinators into thinking that i had some religious inhibitions that prevented me from exposing a lot of skin (which is obviously untrue!), but i thought better of it. Decided to stop being such a wimp. In fact, i was already mentally preparing myself, and was on the verge of purchasing a sleeveless top (that's how unliberal i am, i don't even own a top without sleeves. Hah), when Mun Ling decided to drop me a bombshell, right outside the lecture theatre. I was just hanging around the lectre theatre with my clique, when that girl rushed out and started hollering about details of the experiment.

Someone else had taken the experiment before, and apparently she got hold of the details. She started shrieking, saying that the subject had to roll his/her shirt right up to under te boobs, so as to attach some heart rate monitor thing. Which means plainly that more skin than anticipated, will be shown to the whole world. I gulped silently and stared at her, trying not to let my unease show through my cool exterior. I saw En En and Erfana's eyes bulging in disbelief, and their jaw slackening even more. They were as shocked as me. But they were not the subjects!

Despite our obvious (or my hopefully not so obvious discomfort), Mun Ling started elaborating rather animatedly about her own perception of the experiment.

"You have to attach the monitor under the boobs. I think they will attach it for you! But what if people have saggy boobs?? Then do they have to lift the boobs up to attach the monitor?! Yikes!!" she screeched.

Our eyes narrowed as we stared at her.

"Firstly, none of us here have saggy boobs, so that is nothing to worry about." I replied rather evenly.

"Secondly, i am making sure no one is touching me. So there." I added.

Actually, i have already made up my mind that i wasn't going to be nobody's guinea pig. Plus, i was still sick. So wearing so little layers in the lab, will definitely worsen my cough. So that's how i decided to swap. And swap i did.

Mun Ling was right about the monitor thing. I wasn't so sure about the saggy boobs part. Didn't see any subjects with such an anatomy.

The guy i swapped with, was then drapped in 3 thick blankets to raise his body temperature. We were investigating how the body will react to a rise in core temperature, and how it carries out its thermoregulatory mechanisms.

The coordinators were demonstrating to us how to use a Douglas Bag. It is a bag with a long tube that the subject has to insert entirely into his mouth (an added reason why i was so relieved when i swapped) and breathe in and out of it. It was used to measure the amount of carbon dioxide and oxygen and all that crap. It looked complicated using it. Frankly, i didn't want to be the one in charge of operating it. Neither did the rest apparently.

So when the coordinators came over to my group to asked who wanted to operate the Douglas Bag, everyone tried to look busy, and probably hoped that they wouldn't get picked. I hate this kind of situation. Because it is so uncertain, and you wonder whether your luck will hold out or not? I hate the apprehension. So know what i did to cut it short? I volunteered. Yeah, i am crazy. I volunteered for that thing. How strange humans are. I didn't want to operate the damn thing, but i volunteered with it because i couldn't stand the suspense. But it wasn't that bad after all. Haha.

But when we removed the tube from the guy's mouth, a whole puddle of saliva just flowed out. We were all so stunned, but we didn't let our repulsion show on our faces. Duh. We are going to be doctors after all, and we have to be professional about it. Apparently he couldn't swallow when he was breathing through the tube, so his salive accumulated whilst he breathed through the tube for 5 minutes. He had to repeat the procedure like 5 times. Poor guy. A third major reason why i thank the Lord profusely that i was able to get him to swap with me. Haha. Below are a few pictures of him being drapped under the layers of thermal blankets.

The ~~poor~~ subject

See the bin of water? Yeah, he also had to immersed his legs all the way up to his knees into a bin of 42 degree celcius (if i remembered correctly) water to further increase his core temperature

On of my group members adjusting the blankets. The huge red blanket is a space blanket. And see the computer? The subject was attached to the computer to check his body temperature. The experiment has to be terminated immediately if the subject's body temperature flunctuates by 1 degree celcius.

*****
I also had my first Spanish lesson on Thursday. We were running a little late, because we couldn't find the correct classroom. So when Erfana and i trotted into the classroom a mere 5 minutes later than usual, and i muttering an apology to the teacher, the teacher launched into her tirade about punctuality. Or so i think. Because she was lecturing me in Spanish. And all i heard was this.

"Blah blah blah blah 6.15pm, blah blah blah blah blah 8.15pm!!"

I assumed she was talking about punctuality since i heard the times of the lesson. It was highly amusing. And she knew it. She was lecturing us in mock anger. I think she was testing us to see how we responded after hearing the language for the first time. Needless to say, i was completely cracked up and entertained.

We progressed on into our lesson. Everything was going fine till these 3 female students, friends apparently, trudged in late and without their textbooks. I had to lend them mine and shared Erfana's. That was fine, until the teacher started whizzing through the lesson. Apparently, it was difficult to be able to learn simple Spanish in 12 lessons, so she was hurrying through everything. From pronounciation and some basic grammar. In my haste to copy down what she was rattling off, and to write down how she articulated each particular vowel, i got lost. And i got really mad. I wasn't made at the teacher. I was fuming at the 3 fucking students who borrowed my book. If i had my book, i could annotate it easily, and listened at the same time, without getting lost. I couldn't do so, since it was Erfana's textbook that i was using. I was really angry. Those fuckers made the most noise in class, and bootlick the teacher (just like typical Singaporeans), but they fail to bring the most important material to class, and created such a huge inconvenience for me. Even thinking about it now, a good 5 days later, my temper still rise uncontrollably. Assholes. My entire lesson was screwed. I switched off.

So when the teacher picked on me to recite how to pronounce the number 25, i stared at her stonily. I was raging. I think she must have realized something was amiss, because she left me alone after that.

Now, i am suppose to know how to say the numbers 1-40, all the alphabets and the names of a great many clothes and colours by next lesson, and i don't even know whether i got some of the pronounciation right. This is infuriarting. Those bitches had better get their paths straight next lesson. Cross mine, and i am not going to be very nice about it.

*****
Friday i attended COSDU (Catholic Overseas Students Down Under). It is a session where we could mingle around. Anyhow last session was an ice breaking session for the newcomers who joined us this semester. Suba and i initially wanted to sneak out, because i had a lot of anatomy to cover, and i didn't have time to waste. But everyone sort of noticed us, so we had to choice but to stick around. And i was glad we did.

We played 2 ice breakers - speed dating and some polar bear game. It was fun. Speed dating is not the conventional way we know it. It is more like we were given a question, and as we rotate, we had to ask our partners this question and know more about them in 2 minutes, before we switched again. To my immense surprise, i disvcovered a couple of people who shared similar interests with me. There was Danny, who is trained in Taekwondo, and who participated in competitions, and recently tried his hand out in Kung Fu (which i was contemplating. Note the term "was" Heh). There was Willard who was a fellow Man U fan, and who played mixed soccer with Amelia, a fellow soccer fanatic. In fact, they were going to play an intra state, inter college social soccer tournament the next day. And i could have joined if he had known i was interested in soccer, and i knew about the tournament. Drats. But now we know, so i am hoping i get to play more soccer in the future. And most amazing thing of all, i met Nic, who was a former Judoka, and who knew my former coach, because he was from the school my former coach was teaching. It was incredible. Gosh, it was amazing.

Also i want to add that, in COSDU, it is also the only place so far, that i feel most at home, feel most comfortable with. Maybe it's because i found people of similar interest. Maybe it's because we hail from the same region back home. I don't know. But i am liking it there.

Ok, i need to go grab a bite now. Was too lazy to eat a proper dinner last night and had a light breakfast. Will update more about Saturday and Sunday soon.

P/S: I resumed my gym last night after my bout of cough finally subsided. I was thinking was running 3km, and walking the next 3km, but i got so hyped up whilst running, that i continued, and ran 5km. It was refreshing! Then, i went back and did 60 sit-ups just to ensure my sit up bar ain't here for nothing. And guess what? I am not aching at all today!!! So yay, shall do more sit-ups, and continue my run.

PPS: En En has got my virus now, and i think Erfana too. Haha. After days of gloating at me, En En wasn't spared. She tried to cough at me yesterday, but i merely waved her away much to her mock chagrin because she knew it was useless. My antibodies took 2 weeks to produce. I am not falling sick so easily. Haha.

Feelings

2005-08-06T12:00:00.000+10:00

Feeling like this...

Going to do this....

Thank Anatomy.
And Getty Images.

Jeans for Genes

2005-08-06T10:39:00.000+10:00

By the way, yesterday was Jeans for Genes day in Australia. Bascially you wear jeans for a good cause, and of course donate some moo-lah. The money don't just roll out of your denims you know?

A couple of fellow med students showed us a slideshow where kids were borned with congenital defects. It was really sad. There was a kid who was born (and he actually survived) with fetal alcohol syndrome. I didn't know they survive. It was both horrifying and saddening.

Anyhow, donate if you can. A gold coin. It doesn't mean much, but it sure helps. If you haven't been doing any good for a long time, maybe you should do just this once. And you don't even need to put in much effort. Just a couple of mouse clicks is all that is needed.

I was thinking of getting this soft toy. My friend, En En was mentioning how she would squashed her teddy bear into her suitcases whenever she goes travelling. That sounds really cool man. It got me thinking, maybe i should get a travelling companion too. It would so cool that a soft toy trots across the globe with you! I have been searching for one but to no avail. Then i saw this. It is really nice! It looks soft, not too hard so it is not nice to hold, and not too kiddy, so that i will be shy to show it. Haha. Plus, the money will go for a good cause too. Seriously contemplating this. Going to wait a couple more days to see if they will be coming up with other mechandise too.

Glitterbug

2005-08-06T10:20:00.000+10:00

I am nearly bursting to the seams of the events that occurred the past couple of days, but alas, anatomy lecture rules the day. The above picture is a Glitterbug handwash. During one of my tutorials, we were taught how to watch our hands and thoroughly cleanse them of bacteria. One of my professors stressed the fact that it is not correct to say, sterilize our hands, because to do that, we have to boil our hands, which is obviously not a feasible alternative, unless you have a deathwish, or you are desperately in need of money, say in the range of 20 billion dollars?? US currency.

Anyhow, we were had this cream smeared and thoroughly rubbed into our hands. How it works is that, you will be able to see the stain under UV light if you never watch your hands correctly. We tried the normal method, the method we normally use, after we visit the lavatory. Here comes the shocker. I know i scrub my hands properly with soap, but there were obvious stains on every part of my hand, which is crazy.

The correct method involves scrubbing the back of your fingers, interlacing them, scrubbing the tips of your nails, and your thumbs. And then run them under tap water, with your fingers pointing upwards against the stream of the tap. Apparently, this helps wash off any dirt off your wrists if you forget. I didn't try the correct method, because of a lack of time. 2 volunteers did. They came out only slightly better. Very slightly only. It was a very strong case of what the hell??

Anyhow, my tutor who is a GP, did admit that most doctors (especially senior ones who tend to discard the good habits they learn in med school) including her, fail to wash their hands after every patient. Patients can actually complain. I raised the point that washing so often (i mean if you are working in a hospital, you will see what? Close to 30 patients minimum? Wouldn't that translate to washing 30 times?) would actually dry out the skin, and that would be detrimental. Again, she dropped another bombshell. Surgeons are apparently very prone to contact dermatitis (a skin condition) because they scrubbed so often.

The thing that leaves me scratching my head is, no one says anything about this? I mean everyone is concern preventing the spread of infection to the patients, but no one spares a thought for the doctors? How strange. Maybe they should start inventing a handwash that doesn't dry the skin out. Maybe more doctors, especially female ones, will be more than willing to scrub more often. Heh.

P/S: Check this out man. People are getting increasingly lazier! They think that it is too much a hassle to throw tennis balls for their dogs to fetch, so they invent a tennis ball throwing machine. Like what the?? Don't they realize that the game of fetch is not just the exercise sorely needed, but the quality time spent with their dogs? Playing with them and all? Jeez. Wonder why this people have dogs in the first place. GoDoGo - The Automatic Fetch Machine

Tutor talk

2005-08-03T21:24:00.000+10:00

I went for my first ICM (Introduction to Clinical Medicine) tutorial today. And got picked on by my tutor THRICE in 2 hours.

Before i start ranting, i noticed one thing. I think the University is splitting up all the international students and mixing us thoroughly with the locals. I must say they are doing a pretty good job BECAUSE i am the only international student in my ICM class of 10, and one of only 2 international students of a class of 10 in my PBL (Patient based learning) tutorial.

I am fine with it. That's great, less segregation, if we can even communicate in the first place! When i speak, the locals can't understand me, because of my Singaporean accent. And i can't bring myself to switch to the Aussie accent (if i can in the first place), because i feel like a damn fake, like i am trying to be very ang moh-ish, and i think it will come out funny, since i don't even know what is their accent like. And when they speak, i don't get it too. And i tend to nod or smile to indicate that i understand, when in actual fact, i don't. Just like them. It's funny, but it can get pretty awkward.

Anyhow, i was early for tutorial today. I seem to be getting into my lectures and tutorials early this couple of days. I got to stop this nasty habit. I. Am. Not. A. Nerd. Back to the point.

Before i entered the classroom, i saw this tall lanky guy hanging around outside. I recognized him. I know him. He's in the same tutorial as me. I made a beeline into the classroom without saying anything. I am not being mean. You will get what i mean.

So, he came in soon after. We made conversation. Or at least i tried to. As in, he was pretty much mumbling to himself and guffawing at his own incoherent jokes. I smiled politely, and groaned inwardly.

The tutor came in. A tall, bright, chirpy lady from the UK, just shifted here. Very friendly, very nice. Best of all, i understand what she's saying. When it comes to accents, the British one bowls me over hands down. I swear, i don't have any idea what they are saying. At least with the Aussies, i can get a hint or two from some of the words that manage to drift my way. With the British accent? Hell no. Never. Anyhow, her accent wasn't very heavy, so i could understand her perfectly.

The other students started streaming in one by one. Locals, ABCs (Australian Born Chinese) etc etc. I noticed something. You know how it is when we Asians are always lamenting about our lack of heights compared to our Western counterparts? Well, here's the funny bit. I was taller than all the other 3 girls. And i don't mean, taller by 1 or 2cm. I mean, i was clearly taller. That got me quite bewildered, but not for long. Oh, you need not talk about the guys. The Caucasian guys, they are definitely taller. But the Asian guys? Bleh. They are not much taller.

Ok, so we had ice-breakers and all, introducing ourselves and the usual.

We started lesson proper.

I flipped open my text. And the tutor started explaining and asking questions. The guy, the mumbling one? Let's give him a name. G. Anyway, i was sitting beside G. And the way he was behaving? I wanted to dig a damn hole in the ground and bury myself in it, because i was embarassed for him. He was acting as though he was having a private conversation with the tutor. Emitting sounds like, Hmmm, yeah, Yes, whenever the tutor made i point. I really had to keep myself from rolling my eyes or raising my eyebrows too obviously. So i got distracted. I realized the tutor asked a question, and everyone around the table chipped in their opinions. Except for me. It was that obvious.

It wasn't because i didn't want to say anything. Just that i didn't complete the readings i was assigned to beforehand, so i have no idea what to say, and i was plain repulsed by G. I guess that upped my popularity with the tutor by a notch.

Progress a couple of minutes more into the lesson. I was bored. I twirled my pen, of course, being as discreet as possible. And i was trying to persuade myself to be more tolerant of the repulsion of G that was growing in me, and to be nice about it. Then,

"So Mag, what do you think?"

I froze.

What?!

Did she say something? Shit.

I looked at her smiling at me, and before i could stop myself, i had this guilty look on my face. The all too famous looks students give to their teachers when they are caught red-handed doing something they aren't suppose to. I realized that freaking look was on my face, and tried to change it as fast as possible. Too late. She saw it. Great. I haven't felt like this since i was in secondary school.

She was waiting for an answer, and i had none, because i don't know the question in the first place. And i couldn't nudge the person on my right to give me a hand, because i was sitting right in front of her. Wonderful.

She noticed. She is a GP for christ sake. She is as observant as we are training to be. So,

"What do you think? How will you start if you have to take a dietary history from a patient?"

Praise the Almighty Lord. She threw me a lifeline. She repeated the question.

But i still didn't know the answer. Not because i didn't know. It's just that i wouldn't ask the patient his or her dietary history when i first meet them. No way. I will ask about their social history first to build a rapport. But how do you articulate all this stuff that was whizzing through my brain, in a short sweet sentence? I couldn't. So i went,

"Er...i have no idea."

Instantly, i could feel the eyes of all the other med students seated in the room, trained on me. Shit. I could feel them thinking.

"What? She doesn't know? How can she not know?! She is going to be a doctor!"

Without a second too slow, the other med students let out a whole string of what they would have said to the patient, their brilliance shining through. I cursed. And cursed more. Inwardly. Fuck. Now the tutor is going to think i am dumb.

Then, i started consoling myself. It's ok, at least i had the courage to admit i didn't know! Doctors are suppose to possess courage. Right. That helps.

So i bucked up, and paid more attention.

Then, we had to measure some waist to hip ratio thing. I didn't want anybody measuring me, and i sure as hell don't want to measure anyone. So i played my game. The one i was really good at. Try to be as inconspicuous as possible. I followed the other students who too didn't want to have a part in the measurements, in keeping quiet, and not look like we want to have a part in it. G started waving, and volunteered his service. Fuck. Just my luck to sit beside him. Attracting all this unwanted limelight. I thought all was settled, then,

"Mag, why not you do the measurements?"

Instantly, i felt my heart skipped a beat.

What the fuck?? Me again? What did i do this time??

Thankfully, another lifeline. Before i could react, the girl opposite me stood up and enthusiastically volunteered herself. Thank God for enthusiastic classmates. I was saved a second time.

Fast forward towards the end of the lesson. Home free! Like real.

Everyone was talking and all. Including me. I was approaching this guy. Let's call him Mr Cool Guy. No, i am not hitting on him. And no, he is not cool at all. He thinks he is, but according to Mun Ling, he is an outcast. Whatever. He happened to be in my disgusting practical tomorrow, and i didn't want to be the subject of the experiment. I was looking for a swap. Then, i heard my name, the third freaking time.

"Mag.." the tutor spoke and gestured that she was talking.

Great, so now i am disturbing the class?? I made a apologetic hand signal, and turned my attention to her. She continued. Out of the corner of my eye, i spied the students behind me chatting. She didn't tell them to shush.

??

That's it man. I haven't been shitted on by a teacher for a long time. And i am no longer used to it. This one had better not think i am the right spot to shit in.

I was thinking about it as i got home, and i realized why she was (as Jennifer would aptly put it) taking the piss at me.

During our introductory ice breakers, i let out the fact that i was a Manchester United fan. And hell, she heard that, and said that her whole family are stauch supporters of Liverpool.

Look of horror crossed my face. I forgot she was from UK.

She said, "I think Manchester United and Liverpool are rivals right?"

I nodded mutely.

That must be it. She's picking on me because i am a Manchester United fan.

I will show her what a Man U fan is made of. Hah.

Doctor chat

2005-08-01T21:41:00.000+10:00

I finally dragged my sorry ass to the doctor today for a consultation. My cough ain't getting any better; my cough mixture has been emptied, and each passing moment i'm more and more convinced my lungs would fall out soon.

Thankfully, i didn't have to make an appointment, which you normally have to, and it will be scheduled several days later, which baffles me, up till now, since i don't see the point. If you finally make the decision to see a doctor, wouldn't it be immediately before your condition kills you?

Anyhow, i was in for a lucky break. There was only one other person waiting. After i was slotted into the queue, 4 other patients came in. Thank God i wasn't a second later. Whilst waiting, i was trying to preoccupy myself with my magazine, but the chesty coughs i heard emanating from a woman across me, and the occassional loud clearing of the throat emitted from another guy opposite me wasn't helping. After hearing the woman coughed, i realized that my cough was actually quite inferior. And i really shouldn't be in the clinic at all. These people really needed to see the doctor, badly. Like how the hell you allow yourself to cough so much and so hard before you finally decide to pop by the doctor's? Don't you know it's bad for your health???

But i am not surprised, after the photos one of my professors showed us, of patients and their conditions, during a lecture. Humans are capable of hurting themselves badly. Their creative juices never ease up when it comes to injuries. And some will simply let it deterioriate to the point their tolerance end before seeking medical help. And boy, some of them do have really high tolerance levels, a quality not very feasible in their cases. This woman finally see the doctor, when all her guts spilled out through a hole in her abdominal wall, making her look like she's pregnant. Except that instead of a foetus, it's her guts. Horrible hernia. I was green after that.

Now, whilst i was sitting there, my coughs miraculously stopped. I felt very well. No tickling of the throat, no hacking coughs to rack my chest. I was fit as a fiddle. Will the doctor even believe i am sick?? This always happens. Whenever i am waiting to see the doctor, my condition will miraculously heal on its own, till after the doctors. It's really strange you know?

Anyhow, after doing all the necessary procedures, of hearing my lungs through his stethoscope, and requesting that i open my mouth for him to inspect the back of my throat and he feeling for the lymph nodes in my neck (which Jennifer unsuccessfully tried to teach me yesterday over AIM, an equivalent of MSN messenger), he sat back in his chair, and i sat back in mine, all the while staring at him.

I must have looked very expectant and hopeful.

Doctor: Your lungs are clear. I think you probably got a virus, but it is now clearing up.

Me: Erm...so how do i clear this cough?

Doctor: There's nothing much you can do. It is a virus not a bacteria, so antibiotics wouldn't work. Cough mixtures can help alleviate the symptoms, and help you produce some phlegm. It will disappear it a week or two. Drink plenty of water, and pop a Vitamin C. It helps.

After his long explanation, which really was a mouthful, i clarified in one simple sentence.

Me: So, there is no medicine i can take. I just sit this out.

Doctor: (looking very apologetic and almost apologizing which was very funny) Yeah, i guess. I am really...

Me: (Not wanting to make things difficult) Ok, sure.

Secretly i was relieved i didn't need to purchase more meds which would have definitely bust a hole in my pocket. But on the other hand, i was a teeny bit disappointed that this damn cough couldn't be gotten rid of. But i guess that is the privilege you have when you are not too sick to warrant medication, but not too fit to enjoy life to the max either.

Here the pictures for comparison between the chocolates sold in Max Brenner and those sold in KoKo Black.

This was the cup fitted with a candle, used to make your own hot chocolate. They provide the milk. They can actually make it for you too, but we choose the former since we thought it would be more interesting.

The white chocolates for the drink

The completed drink...brewed by yours truly.

The spoon provided to scoop the chocolates. But look carefully, it is actually a straw too!

The chocolate Soffle

Waffle with chocolate and strawberries

The strawberry and white chocolate drink that Mun Ling had.

Everyone ate very neatly, save for Mun Ling and i. Look at the mess we left on our plates. And we were not even ravenous...

Now for KoKo Black!

Not to be outdo by the amusing invention of straw cum spoon, they came up with their own unique fork. Look closely, nope it's not dented or broken off!

The hot chocolate i have. It was delicious as much as it was beautiful. As you can see, they pay as much attention to detail, making them more elegant, and of course, more costly.

The ice chocolate that Ravind had.

The Belgian Spoil that Tim and Ravind had. It is a small helping of everything, from cake to ice-cream.

The Chocolate Moeulleux that Mun Ling and i had. It was outrageous.

The fork we stuck into the Moeulleux, in anticipation of the delectable chocolate hidden inside.

The yummy chocolate. It was hot so it oozed out. It is similar to Max Brenner's Soffle, but Max's one doesn't ooz out as it is not hot.

This is Polly Pub, a pub Mun Ling and i love. Not sure if you can view the photos clearly, since it was obviously very dark.

I didn't drink any alcohol since i was coughing madly. I know it was very "potong steam" (wet blanket) as Mun Ling calls it (but she understands), but it wasn't as if i wanted it. They mix the best cocktails ever. Tim can vouch for that. I only hope we will go pubbing even after Mun Ling leave, even though it's different...

Mun Ling and Tim

Sam and Ravind

Our spread of drinks. See the coke, the lousy drink i was entitled to.

Oh yeah, guess what? I can safely say i am not an alcoholic. Don't laugh. My mum is totally worried that i have evolved into a drink and that i am addicted to alcohol. So in the few other occassions when my friends were drinking alcohol, i decide to drink juice. One was to test myself, and my discipline, and second to prove a point to my mother. So yes. I am effectively not an alcoholic.

P/S: Was flipping through The Age newspaper, when i read this article where Police are appealing to missing people, who deliberately ran away to at least drop an e-mail to their family members so that they know the runaways are safe. But can the Police track where these people are through the e-mails? Don't go missing: Send e-mail from The Age.

PPS: Received an e-mail from World Vision, a charitable organization about this kid heading to Singapore for an operation. She was born with a congenital defect, a condition called Ano-Rectal Malformation, where she defecates through her vagina or genitals instead of the anus. They are appealing for donations. Mongolian girl in Singapore to seek treatment from World Vision.

Choc K VS Choc M

2005-07-30T22:32:00.000+10:00

My voice is but a hoarse, almost inaudible rasp. My throat no longer aches. But the coughs that rack my chest threatens to uproot my lungs. Well done. I have been thinking. I think my symptoms have been misleading me all along. I was never going to get the flu. The sore throat wasn't the normal starting sign. I think i got it because i coughed so hard, it turned my throat raw. And now, it threatens to triumph over my voice box as well. I wonder how long i can keep this up. I am drinking cough mixture like water, and it doesn't seem to help. I am spending precious time to make honey tea with lemon, which Wenting graciously made for me this afternoon. But it ain't helping my throat either. I was forced to eat Subway for dinner, because it is the healthiest food i can think of, besides my usual cereal or fried Asian food. Damn. Double damn. I hope my luck holds out. What if i get the Whooping Cough???? In chinese, it's called 百日咳 (hundred day cough) and for a damn good reason. It means i will be coughing my lungs out for close to three months, before i finally stop. Which means, i will be coughing all the way home. Well done. Shit. Double shit. I have to seek the help of a doctor if my lousy immune system doesn't kickstart its engine soon.

The cup of steaming hot tea with the huge slice of lemon. I felt like i was drinking honey soup. Gosh, all these alternative self-medication is really creating a gaping big hole in my pocket. If i don't die of these coughs, i will sooner die of a cardiac arrest at the rate my money is depleting.

I was in a surf shop buying the jacket which i mentioned yesterday, when i couldn't help hearing the converation flowing between the 2 salesgirls, which i was trying not to eavesdrop upon. Alas, the control of your hearing has not evolved to an extent that we can switch them off as and when we like.

Salesgirl A: If this pain continues, i will have to see a doctor.

Salesgirl B: When i go and see a doctor, i always feel this need to have the world's craziest disease, if not i wouldn't dare go to the doctor.

Salesgirl A: Exactly, me too!

At this point, i was looking away, then i saw the 2 salesgirls looking at me.

Salesgirl A: I know we sound crazy. We just spend too much time with each other.

Salesgirl B: (Laughs) You should run when you can, we are crazy!

I couldn't stop grinning, but they had a point. When i go to a doctor, sometimes, i actually wished that my condition ain't so mild, in case the doctor gets bored and thinks i am wasting his or her time, and that would be very embarassing. Which is really strange, since you actually should want to get better. But now as a medical student, i know that doctors who really think in such a sick manner; they are not that professional at all. And since they are not that professional, they do not need the respect the patients should show them, and the patients also need not bother about their darn opinions.

*****
Went to Max Brenner for chocolates yesterday with Mun Ling. Don't scream. I know. I deserve it. I am destroying my own throat and sending it straight to hell. But Mun Ling is leaving soon, and i don't even know when i am going to meet her again, so i am willing to do ingest a mere amount of chocolate with her. A good many couple of days ago, i also ate at KoKo Black with Tim, Ravind, Mun Ling. So i can now give you a good comparison, and which is a greater value for money.

KoKo Black is much more expensive, but the ambience is better, and it is not as crowded (not because it is lousy!). Max Brenner also has a larger variety.

But KoKo Black serve their food steaming hot. They don't mass produce the chocolate moieties you order. They cook it on the spot so they are fresh. Max Brenner is different. It is not hot, but you get to try many fun but messy stuff. Like making your own hot chocolate, where they provide the chocolate, milk and a small candle to let you melt your chocolate.

In other words, KoKo Black is more posh and elegant. If you are on a date, or you have money to burn, go there. If you just want a nice relaxing place to chill out with your friends, do stupid things, and make a mess, go Max Brenner. The quality of the chocolates at both places are superior, they do not lost out to the other. So both places are equally good to visit whenever you have a sweet craving.

(I am going to stab myself or something. Was in the middle of Zoto to get the html tags for my photos, when i got kicked out because they started their upgrading work. Damn it. Tough luck for you guys, will post them up tomorrow.)

*****
Came home at 5.30am this morning, from Tim and Ravind's place. We hung out at Polly Pub until 3am, when they closed. There was a bouncer standing at the entrance, and seriously, of all the pubs i have been to, this is the first time i got so 'up close and personal' with a bouncer. Haha. Never seen a bouncer in the flesh before, and they aren't as beefy as i make them out to me, which i think made me a little crestfallen! He let the guys in without any problems, but when it came to 3 of us girls (Mun Ling, Erfana and I), he raised an eyebrow and threw us quizzical looks when he saw our identity cards say we were born in 1985. Not sure what was his problem too. I think maybe we look younger than our real ages. We get a lot of that when we are here. In fact, compared to the locals, we always look younger, when we are actually older. I think it is the make-up. Anyhow, we were more than a little startled that they close so early on a friday night. Mun Ling, i think, was especially disappointed, since it was like a semi-farewell party for her. But not to fret, we headed over to Tim's place after that.

We sat around and chatted, or actually, they sat around and chatted, whilst i attempt to be at least semi-conscious. These people are serious night hawks. They can pull all nighters as and when they feel like it. Me? No way. I felt like dying. My eyelids weren't of my control at all. I am simply not a noturnal person. Never was and never will be.

I woke up at 8.30am, and drifted in and out of my sleep till 10.30am, before i decided to get out of bed once and for all. I would have liked to snooze for a longer time, but my coughs had a mind of their own, plus i was near hysteria when i thought i lost my voice for good. It was reduced to a rasp. And i have to conserve my voice for my mother's phonecalls (she will freak if she discovers i lose my voice. Knowing her, she probably think i am on the verge of death or something), and for my tutorial on Monday. Shucks.

Oh, and i must mention about an incident that didn't exactly happen to me when we went MacDonald's for supper, after a movie. Mun Ling and i were sitting downstairs waiting for burger when we saw these two people (a young couple, i assume) walking from table to table, asking for spare change. The guy approached us, or more specifically, Mun Ling. I just pretended to look dumb and look at my burger. Mun Ling didn't really get what he was saying, and i mouthed to her to just say No, which she did. He left. I never give spare change to people ever since the tram incident i had. Anyway, the guy disappeared upstairs, presumably to hound patrons on the second level. The gal approached every other table but ours.

One thing i noticed. If you are Asian, and you pretend to look dumb, most of this people wouldn't disturb you because they simply assume you are an idiot and do not know English. Which is good for us, and bad at the same time. But let's not be philosophical about this. Practicality is more important.

When Mun Ling got her burger, we walked upstairs to join the rest (Sam, Tim, Ravind and Erfana). Midway on the steps, Sam rushed down the stairs. We looked at each other, shrugged and continued our way. At the table, Tim, Ravind and Erfana were stony. Something was amiss. We dredged the truth out of them. Apparently, the guy had hassled them as well. Erfana decided to give him AUD$5, which he took. And as if that wasn't enough, he stretched out his black filthy fingers (according to Sam) towards Tim to ask for more money, and i think Tim got rather revolted. That guy then proceeded to take the pack of large fries on the table and Ravind's cigarettes before leaving. The 4 of them were aghast and in shock. Sam then promptly disappeared downstairs to notify the MacDonald's staff about what just happened, but they merely shook their hands apologetically and compensated us with another large pack of fries.

I wasn't really shocked. When you give this people money, they become greedier and more daring. I learnt that lesson once. And once is enough. Heh.

We went to watch The Island. I don't how to tell you all this, but it was FANTABULOUS! It is amazing, i will be surprise if it doesn't become a Box Office Hit. It is impressive. The director was able to weave strong ethical controversial issues into a heart-thumping plot. Outrageous. All i can say is, if you don't watch it, it's your damn loss. Another thing. I never thought Scarlett Johansson was pretty or hot or anything when i watched Lost in Translation. After this show, i completely revise my opinion. Ewan McGregor sizzled the screen as well. Great show.

I'm feeling loved!

2005-07-29T19:20:00.000+10:00

No, i didn't just meet the guy of my dreams. And you people can stop cringing from my unusual show of affection. Heh.

I just received 2 letters, 1 unexpected, from 2 of my greatest friends, Kah Ming and Hiu Man. Was overjoyed reading their letters, and feeling the unexpected wave of instant happiness wash over me. Plus, Hiu Man sent me 8 gorgeous (and i mean, suave, handsome and worth drooling over!) high quality photos of David Beckham! So i am feeling extra loved.

And then i came onto my blog, and i saw so many people who had left their comments, showing that they cared, i was over the moon.

Not forgetting, i just came back from some retail therapy, purchasing a sleek, smart-looking, formal brown jacket for my field visits to hospitals, and a casual jacket that looks like a suit. I always love suits, but could never find one which is casual enough or feminine enough. And today, i saw 1! And my kind of style, and female cuttings!! So it ain't musculine. Very punker chic. Hah.

I am in seventh heaven.

Thanks guys! *Blows kisses*

P/S: Was reading about Lance Armstrong. What can i say? That guy is simply amazing. The Science of Lance Armstrong: Born, and Built, to win from National Geographic.

PPS: Will update more tomorrow. Really busy now, as i am supposed to catch a movie and go to the pub with Mun Ling and gang. More photos tomorrow, and not forgetting to tell you all about an experiment which i was unfortunately selected to be a subject for, that has bizzare and shocking procedures. And i mean shocking.

November...

2005-07-28T19:18:00.000+10:00

Had a dream last night.

Have you ever had dreams when you are fully aware of yourself in the dream, and you are capable of thinking thoughts that you would normally do in reality, but at the same time, you didn't know it was a dream you were in at that point of time?

Well, i did.

I was doing something, when suddenly in my dream, i was missing my dogs. And i distinctly remembered thinking to myself that i would be able to see them as soon i finish up whatever i was doing, and go home in a few hours time.

And then i woke up.

And then it hit me that it was only a dream.

And i started thinking when i could see my dogs again. And i realized that, that would only come in mid-November.

For the first time, i realized November is a long time away. A very long time away. A dreadfully long time. What the hell, what am i going to do if i start missing my dogs so early on in the semester. This is even worse than last semester!

And then i was wishing i spent more time with them. But it really isn't possible, because when i was back in Singapore, i was constantly reminding myself to spend more time with my dogs. In fact, i devoted the majority of my time to them.

But i guess no matter how much you spend with someone or something or some animals you really love, it is never enough. Never enough. It is just the way it is.

Simple and brutal.

And i can't forget Randy's behaviour on the day i left. He refused to sleep or rest the whole day, but chose to follow me quietly and solemnly wherever i go as i busied myself, packing my lugguage. Of course i noticed him, and i also know he knew what was coming up, and he wanted to stick with me. And of course, i knew that i should spend even more time with him, which i did. But like i say, it's never enough.

Why?? Can someone explain this to me? Maybe it is just one of those questions which no one has an answer to, because no matter how much you spend time with something you hold dearly, it is never sufficient.