tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78860762225280206472009-10-13T19:17:24.623-04:00The Underground World of the Stay-at-Home MomMotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.comBlogger103125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7886076222528020647.post-15424883747015359952008-07-28T10:11:00.002-04:002008-07-28T10:16:02.870-04:00

The moving vans have come and gone, and MotherBunker is outta here. Come visit over at the new place, http://motherbunkerblog.com. And pardon the dust while I settle in ...

MotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7886076222528020647.post-68078173292534187382008-07-25T10:56:00.001-04:002008-12-09T12:25:26.352-05:00

I do. I really do want to be a geek. Remember, back in the days of leg warmers and Aqua Net, when being in the know about computers meant you were kind of a nerd (and not the good kind, either -- think dudes from Weird Science)? Those were the days when the coolest possessions you could have were the oversized sweater with neon-colored block patterns and the latest Poison CD. Now, being a geek is

MotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7886076222528020647.post-51603978254878211282008-07-23T11:01:00.001-04:002008-12-09T12:25:26.589-05:00

Well it's official: Cars has reached irrational levels of adoration in our home. MJ has the bug. I have the bug. Randy ... well, he still likes real cars better. And LL Cool Baby is much more into dollies. So I guess it's just MJ and me. She likes this movie so much that she even watches the deleted scenes (the ones that are just drawings, not all Pixared-out yet ... the "brown" ones, as she

MotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7886076222528020647.post-47730598711631606852008-07-22T21:53:00.000-04:002008-12-09T12:25:27.033-05:00

As he was leaving for work yesterday, Randy asked MJ and me what we had planned for the day."Oh," I said, with genuine enthusiasm, "we're going to have lots of fun ..."He laughed. Not an "Oh, good, wish I could be there" kind of laugh, but rather a cheerful snort. A chortle, if you will. A disbelieving snicker, you might say. Now, give him his due: He had been up since 3:30 a.m. with MJ, when a

MotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7886076222528020647.post-47796340535710831272008-07-21T10:20:00.001-04:002008-07-21T10:33:49.383-04:00

When I went out to get the paper yesterday morning, someone had left us a surprise on our mailbox post: a Target bag filled with an unopened package of Pull-Ups. That someone clearly reads this blog, including my last post about the "broken" Pull-Ups. I'm pretty sure that someone also has a 3-year-old girl (the pull-ups were pink), and I thank her. This is one of the things I love about living in

MotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7886076222528020647.post-84523085071564545862008-07-16T17:26:00.004-04:002008-07-17T13:15:23.797-04:00

We now interrupt your workday to bring you this important, vitally important, piece of news. To the Bat Phone!Ring!Him: Hellooo?Me: Guess what?Him: What?Me: Guess who's going to be on "Rescue Me"?Him: Who?Me: No, guess!Him: Who?Me: Guess! You'll never guess!Him: Probably not. Just tell me.Me: Michael J. Fox!Him: Wow. That is exciting.Me: [squeal] I know!Him: When?Me: Dunno. Next season, I

MotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7886076222528020647.post-82351260853224690642008-07-16T11:09:00.013-04:002008-07-16T12:21:38.230-04:00

My baby is 11 months old today, which is so hard to believe. With MJ, I recall time passing sort of slowly through her first year. With so much to learn and, every day, something new happening in the world of this little person -- first cereal, first smile ... even her belly button stump took four weeks to disappear (and, disconcertingly, we never actually found it ... yikes) -- the first 12

MotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7886076222528020647.post-6677890978604029602008-07-15T11:49:00.004-04:002008-12-09T12:25:27.451-05:00

I am clearly not cut out for the "have baby, will travel" set. I always seem to be just a step behind everyone else when it comes to meeting the current standards of mother-child excursion preparedness. For the past few weeks, we've been new gym members. (Technically, new members of an old gym we used to belong to, back in the halcyon days of semi-ripped ab muscles and good posture.) In those

MotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7886076222528020647.post-6011933113541196462008-07-14T22:42:00.001-04:002008-12-09T12:25:27.852-05:00

Pop quiz time! What do you see in the following picture? (Hint: You're a TODDLER.)a) a tea bag;b) a "dwink" envelope (or "mail-ope," as MJ says);c) a letter of the alphabet;d) a bag of cookie seedsWell, it's d, obviously. This happened to be sitting on the counter while we were making chocolate chip cookies this weekend (mmm ... chocolate chip cookies), and:MJ: "Mommy, this would grow good

MotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7886076222528020647.post-79498490020641066652008-07-10T12:02:00.007-04:002008-12-09T12:25:28.230-05:00

So, we've been reading this book called The Mixed-Up Chameleon by Eric Carle -- very cute story about a chameleon who tries to be many different animals, but in the end, finds he is happiest as himself. A great message. But when we reached the page in the book where the chameleon looks "gray and dull" because he's "cold and hungry," MJ disagreed. Her take-away message: "He looks that way because

MotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7886076222528020647.post-6789905647861957312008-07-09T22:10:00.003-04:002008-07-08T23:02:32.322-04:00

My grandmother gave birth to 10 children, the last three of whom died at birth. I've always wondered about those babies, missing from my mother's family pictures, and wondered, too, what my grandmother must have felt to have such sweet beings -- she was a wonder with tiny creatures -- come into the world, but never experience it. Their graves are next to my grandparents', in their hometown six

MotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7886076222528020647.post-78206072074197617132008-07-08T14:44:00.010-04:002008-12-09T12:25:28.970-05:00

What, you may ask yourself, is so exciting about a picture of a couple of boxes of Frosted Mini-Wheats? I mean, you could buy these any day you wanted, yes? No. These are no ordinary boxes of Frosted Mini-Wheats. These are very special cereal boxes, which arrived in a package last Friday from a member of the Bunker posse because they contained these:... and because, once she reads something, some

MotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7886076222528020647.post-24415389758707902902008-07-07T14:15:00.002-04:002008-07-07T14:19:57.858-04:00

While I was having my teeth cleaned a few weeks ago, I learned that first morsel of information from my dental hygienist; I learned the other one from my mom, while complaining about the number of plates of perfectly good food I dump into the trash each week after putting them in front of MJ.I am a colossal non-flosser. They hand me the little white box of free floss at the end of each cleaning

MotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7886076222528020647.post-38578763218981282592008-07-02T00:22:00.004-04:002008-12-09T12:25:29.386-05:00

Hee. It sounds like a dirty word, doesn't it? Well it kind of is, and I'll tell you why. Last night, Randy's parents (Canadians visiting the U.S. on Canada Day? What? It's true. You heard it here first.) showed us some video of, if not the Loveliest Place on Earth, at least the Loveliest Place In Holland, where they visited a few months ago.Maybe I've mentioned the FatherBunker-in-Law is Dutch? (

MotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7886076222528020647.post-70118814739494845832008-07-01T09:26:00.002-04:002008-07-01T12:00:19.084-04:00

Sometimes I forget about all the little things that MJ doesn't know about yet, the little things about childhood. Like losing your teeth, for example. Last night, while she and her six-year-old cousin (who is in town visiting) were trying to get to sleep, Cousin M sat up in bed and said, "See? Look? I lost my tooth!"MJ perked up. I was sitting behind her, and even from that perspective, I could

MotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7886076222528020647.post-52529030195270130262008-06-30T10:42:00.007-04:002008-12-09T12:25:29.700-05:00

"Mommy! Mommy! Could we watch Lightning McQueen? Mommy! Could we watch Lightning McQueen? Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" MJ says this to me from her breakfast perch this morning, where she is running her miniature red No. 95 Lightning McQueen car on the table between bites of syrupy waffle. You may know LQ as the "lead character" in Cars, a movie we have only just begun to watch. And watch. And watch. A

MotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7886076222528020647.post-56642562533905092942008-06-27T00:39:00.010-04:002008-06-27T14:59:54.864-04:00

So I have a place where I go when I need to relax or cheer up or clear my mind, and it's a house on the water near Sanibel Island, where Randy and I went for our honeymoon. It had sleek Scandinavian furniture that we'll never own, a large boat that we'll never own, and most importantly ... it had two weeks of complete freedom that, well, let's face it, we'll never see again. So my answer to this

MotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7886076222528020647.post-79500163772938759412008-06-26T16:15:00.002-04:002008-12-09T12:25:30.172-05:00

The husband and I, that is. Yes, these 13 habits are very annoying, but we've also decided that, because they've become standing jokes, we'd probably miss them if they went away.Well, probably, anyway. Starting with how I annoy him:1. "Are you incapable of putting the cap back on the toothpaste?" It's true: I'm a living cliche. Which is why we have his and hers toothpaste. 2. "Your car looks like

MotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7886076222528020647.post-25911693787137025682008-06-25T15:13:00.003-04:002008-06-24T23:41:45.633-04:00

I try my best to raise hilarious children, so I can exploit write about them here. We start each morning with exercises in timing, delivery, effective punch lines and silly voices. I make the Bunker Girls sit at the breakfast table, staring at their untouched cereal, until they do one thing that shows me they have what it takes to one day appear in a film with Mike Myers or Will Ferrell, or, at

MotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7886076222528020647.post-25880525882349953912008-06-24T06:37:00.006-04:002008-06-24T09:49:52.153-04:00

Crisis mode. Middle-of-the-night stomach bug. As I changed MJ's bedsheets and blanket for the second time in the wee hours of this morning, a calm sort of purposefullness set over me. She's so sad and so bewildered by what's happening to her when she's sick, and unlike other trying moments of our days -- when she wants a third cup of juice and I want five minutes to finish the laundry -- there is

MotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7886076222528020647.post-4912736563028150582008-06-23T10:42:00.003-04:002008-12-09T12:25:30.771-05:00

Saturday started out nice for everyone. And then we lost the flashlight. The flashlight, Mommy, where is the light? I need it. I need it. Neeeeed it! "Oh no, it's gone!" MJ squealed. "Daddy, it's gone! My light! What are we going to do? Noooooo!" The light in question was this: ... which came in our Frosted Mini-Wheats (aka "Daddy's cereal"). Apparently, Randy and MJ had decided over the past

MotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7886076222528020647.post-46376017191981050672008-06-20T10:41:00.002-04:002008-12-09T12:25:33.075-05:00

I used to love C+C Music Factory. Remember that song? "Things That Make You Go Hmmm...?" Good times, good times, people. Anyway ... I'm dying to share my theory -- prepare to be blown away by my brilliant-ness -- that "Lost" was actually inspired by Madagascar. Remember Madagascar? Animals escape from the Central Park Zoo and wind up on a desert island, away from their pampered life of privilege?

MotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7886076222528020647.post-45607200393259803492008-06-19T13:25:00.000-04:002008-12-09T12:25:33.517-05:00

As I sit here, asking the toddler not to tackle her infant sister, I recall a time not so long ago when I escaped the world of stay-at-home mom to become the stay-at-home-beach-rental-mom. That time? Last week. It's always nice to take my nagging-and-scolding show on the road, for a change of scenery, and the North Carolina coast is a lovely place to administer a time-out while rocking on a porch

MotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7886076222528020647.post-87534572387857923472008-06-18T23:03:00.002-04:002008-12-09T12:25:34.024-05:00

"Beth, did your daughter have jammies and a diaper on when you put her in bed?" Randy is calling to me downstairs, from upstairs, where he is standing in puddles of pee in MJ's room."Yes," I blurt out, with dread."Well," he says, "she doesn't now."And he wonders why I want to watch "The Secret Life of the American Teenager," a show we had seen preview for a couple nights ago. I need a release

MotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7886076222528020647.post-75188553116068079222008-06-17T22:43:00.002-04:002008-06-17T10:48:52.667-04:00

Every two minutes or so, I would look in the back seat to see if MJ was asleep yet. Down the road from our beach house rental, over the Trooper Larry Walton Memorial Bridge, across the Atlantic Intracoastal Waterway and back ... four nights in a row, we tried to drive our little toddler to sleep, the way we used to do when she was a newborn.Why? Because she was out of control hyper. Doodlebops

MotherBunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11735258120131778344noreply@blogger.com