Cosmetic Surgery Insider

Plastic Surgery Poll

2008-07-23T08:19:00.000-07:00

Which is NOT the Real Plastic Surgery Procedure?

Of the procedures listed below, five are real and one is bogus. Leave your answers in the comment box below. Test Your Plastic Surgery Knowledge!

(1) “Bird Poop” Facial

A high-end New York City spa has come up with a way to rejuvenate delicate facial skin -- and without painful surgery. You’ve probably heard that sales pitch before, but master aesthetician Shizuka Bernstein is offering the Geisha Facial.

The concoction is made from several Japanese ingredients, held together with heavy doses of Nightingale droppings. (In Japan, it’s an ancient, time-honored ingredient known as “Uguisu no Fun.”) The treatment is being referred to as the “Bird Poop” Facial by the few who have actually had it smeared, er, that is, I mean applied and the thousands who stand by -- at a distance -- and watch in amazement.

(2) Breast Implants for the Lips

For years, surgeons have implanted empty breast implants in the chests of bosom-challenged women and then filled them with saline after the devices were securely nested inside the patient’s chest. Then, the implants were filled to a size that fits the patient’s frame, bone structure and wishes.

So why not do the same thing to make lips larger and more luscious?

Surgeons can now implant a tiny little saline bag in the lips and, then working through equally tiny filler tubes, fill the implants with just enough saline to make those smackers truly kissable.

(3) Water Jet Liposuction

You would have to travel to Thailand, but a new way to remove fat from those stubborn pockets of flab is blasting it away with powerful jets of water. One of the chief benefits is that no heat is produced inside the body, according to the owners of the SP Clinic in Bangkok, Thailand. Just think of the device as an internal Water Pik for liposuction.

(4) ScarArt Hides Surgical Scars

Have a tummy tuck scar that runs across your lower stomach or perhaps a scar left from a C-Section, but still want to look sharp in a bikini? A new temporary tattoo, designed by a woman for other women, allows you to slap on a waterproof, smear-proof, and extremely colorful tat to hide that pesky scar. It lasts three days.

(5) Robotic Breast Augmentation

It doesn’t have anything to do with a clanking, whirring automaton doing surgery on its own. But, it’s possible for a surgeon sitting at a console to perform breast enhancement by giving instructions to extremely slim robotic hands.

The chief benefit is that the robot has the steadiest “hands” known and works through extremely tiny openings in the patient’s skin.

(6) The “Earlobe Job”

While almost every other part of the human body can have its drooping, sagging or shriveling parts rejuvenated, medical science has somehow missed the earlobes.

The problem? After decades of supporting dangling, swaying earrings that usually weigh a little less than a VW, aging earlobes become stretched and can sway and flop around like the ears on a blood hound. What woman wants earlobes sitting on her shoulders? Totally ruins the effect of a spaghetti strap dress!

Solution? Lobe Pumping. Just a syringe full of a facial filler like Restylane does the job for the short haul.

Of course, Restylane wears off in about nine months. For really severe cases, patients should see their plastic surgeon about surgical earlobe reduction.

Which is NOT the Real Plastic Surgery Procedure?

…Check back soon to see if you know which plastic surgery procedure is false!

Docs Study Tattoos - And Who Hates 'em

2008-07-21T13:06:00.001-07:00

A Texas researcher surveyed 196 people who went to dermatologic clinics for tattoo removal. Results? People who want their tats removed are more likely to be women than men. They want the skin markings removed because others make nasty cracks about the tattoos, which were jeered in some (READ: high paying) work locations.

The 66 men and 130 women from the survey first got the tattoos at age 20 because:

44 percent wanted to feel unique
33 percent wanted to show independence
28 percent wanted some life experience to stand out
21 percent wanted to mark a special occasion like a birthday, marriage or their newly found independence.

A tattoo with a breast implant. It was later removed.
(photo by Lane Jensen)

The researchers next asked the subjects why they wanted the tattoos taken off between ages 24 and 39.

Here’s what they said:

57 percent were embarrassed
38 percent said it lowered their body image
37 percent cited problems with clothes revealing the tattoo
25 percent felt singled out

(Note: totals do not equal 100 because some study respondents marked multiple reasons.)

Read more about the study.

Top 10 Plastic Surgery Discounts
If you are interested in the costs of plastic surgery but concerned about spending too much, check out an article that has plastic surgeons telling how to wheedle a discount from your plastic surgeon.

Discounts are available on the family and group plan, during slow seasons, if one patient has multiple procedures, if you pay by check or in cash and if you are willing to wait to have surgery on a stand-by basis. More.

Sarah Jessica Parker’s Missing Mole

2008-07-21T09:27:00.000-07:00

It’s not as exciting, say, as the “Did Hillary Clinton may have plastic surgery?” debate, but mole removal is a huge topic among devotees of plastic surgery. The Internet is searched thousands of times daily for practitioners who know their way around laser mole removal, along with the other removal techniques.

So when Sarah Jessica Parker, star of “Sex and the City,” had that BB-size mole taken off her chin. The only real question is: why now?

New York Observer writer Rex Reed once observed: “That growth on her face just gets bigger with every close-up, and in the full-length movie version of ‘Sex and the City,’ it’s so distracting you can’t concentrate on anything else. It’s not a beauty mark.” More.

Sarah Jessica Parker’s mole, left, and after its removal.
(Zuma Press.com/AP photo)

Swedish Woman Marries the Berlin Wall

2008-06-26T11:04:00.000-07:00

While we are featuring June brides, undying love, and weddings, we could not help but notice the following headline:

Swedish Woman Marries the Berlin Wall

Well, okay, you’re hearing a lot right now about June brides because, well, it’s June!

And we blog about it here because everybody who gets married or falls in love wants to look good for the object of their affection and often take advantage of rejuvenation surgery.

But love, and those ensuing nuptials, can take many forms.

Moreover, it’s not always a guy and a gal that marry. For instance, you may be reading a lot about gay and lesbian marriages becoming legal in California. And some people afflicted with a strange new obsession known as objectophilia, become fascinated over, fall in love with, and even marry inanimate objects.

Like Eija-Riitta Elkoef-Mauer, a Swedish woman who first visited the Berlin Wall in 1979. She legally changed her name to “Berliner-Mauer” (German for “Berlin Wall”) after visiting six times and then declaring herself legally wedded to the concrete and barbed wire structure. And, yes, she was just crushed (no, not literally) when the wall came tumbling down. Read more.

Berlin Wall before its (his?) nuptials.
(Stefan photo)

On her website, the bereft Eija explains: “My husband’s job was to divide East and West Berlin. He’s retired now.”

Meanwhile, a woman in Germany whom Spiegel Magazine will only identify as Sandy K., claims to have fallen in love with New York City’s World Trade Center Twin Towers when she was eight years old. (Why is it distant things are often so-o-o-o- much more attractive?) And Sandy, too, felt let down on 9-11. She didn’t even have a chance to get engaged.

The former World Trade Center in the background in New York City
(New York Tourist Authority photo)

The Canvas blogger observes a plot line about objectophilia was used in T.V’s Boston Legal when one of the lawyers mentioned he had a client who had been in love with an electricity switch box. And one blogger Storyteller mentions a woman who was so attracted to a new ‘fridge that she wanted to get intimate with it. (If you have any technical questions about that, please hesitate to ask. I can’t figure it out either.)

Despite a dearth of weddings, objectophilia is probably a real phenomenon because there is even a movie, Lars and the Real Girl, about a lonely but sensitive man who falls head over heels for a mail-order, inflatable doll.

Well, love may conquer all but it sure won’t provide plastic surgery for that love interest! Hey, she’s already plastic! Besides, she doesn’t heal well. There’s also a priest in the movie who often smiles indulgently at the 27-year-old who totes around the plastic love doll. But we won’t give away the surprise ending!

Lars and his significant, inflatable, other. A more attractive match
than with the Berlin Wall, huh?
(Amazon.com photo)

We were curious if maybe these people get their noses fixed to look better to their significant others? Then again, the ‘fridge (or wall, building or electric box) doesn’t care if your nose is long or short. As far as I can tell, those items don’t care about anything.

But hey, this obsession is really not so strange, after all. If you see the motion picture version of Sex and the City, you’ll find four seemingly sane professional women who have raised footwear to the level of passionate desire. And what about Imelda Marcos? Didn’t she have something like 97 zillion pairs of shoes?

(Squidonius photo)

Next: Top 10 Weird Uses for Botox

June Weddings: Plastic Surgery’s Time to Shine

2008-06-13T09:38:00.000-07:00

Liposuction and Breast Augmentation for Brides!
Facial Plastic Surgery for Mothers of the Brides!

Who is this woman and why is she pictured here?

Okay, we have joked around a lot, pulled your leg a little and brought you a ton of off-the-wall items about plastic and cosmetic surgery.

But now we bring you something that remains very much on-the-wall, as well as a serious matter to the 2.2 million* weddings that will take place in 2008: it is the…hold for trumpets sounding in the background... June wedding!

Plastic Surgery

Many wedding planners are recommending adding into the already astronomical budget for the nuptials an allowance for plastic surgery procedures, even if it’s only a vial or two of Botox. The average U.S. wedding now costs $28,000* and that’s before any surgical rejuvenations.

But don’t take my word for it. Read more about how plastic surgery has become as huge of an issue as…the wedding dress?

Back to the woman pictured above. She is Lynn Plante. Official title: Mother of the Bride. She and thousands like her are so feared and respected that even tough Mafia dons quake in their patent leathers. Woe betide he or she who crosses the Mother of the Bride and the planning of The Wedding!

Lynn is actually a brave, brave woman because she is undergoing four plastic surgery procedures so that she can look her best in her daughter’s wedding pictures which will be taken on July 18, 2008. Providing everything goes according to plan, that is. (READ: Nobody gets cold feet!)

Like General Eisenhower, who planned and oversaw the D-Day invasion, any Mother of the Bride oversees and plans an operation equally as complex. No wonder she looks worried!

The Cost of Plastic Surgery

Here’s another tidbit that tells you what a remarkable woman Lynn is: Over many years, Lynn has saved just a little from each paycheck to put toward the cost of plastic surgery, just so she can look her best at the wedding. After all, wedding pictures are handed down for generations, you know.

Anyhow, we’ll follow Lynn and the approaching Big Day while bringing you up to date on her continually improving appearance. Lynn only admits to being “in her late 50s,” so we will see how her appearance improves. Will she look 40ish in the wedding pictures? Refreshed? Rested? Younger than the Bride, maybe?

Emily Cannon on The Big Day
(Photo, Courtesy of Emily Cannon)

Read how a plastic surgeon saved the day when Emily Cannon’s breast augmentation came undone – resulting in a condition often referred to as a “uniboob” – just before her wedding.

Meanwhile: here’s my favorite wedding toast from the last (and I do mean last!) time I got married:

“Here’s to the Bride, Here’s to the Groom, Here’s to the Mother-in-law!
Let’s just hope there’s never a need for an attorney-at-law!”

--Old Irish Wedding Toast

And my favorite advice about weddings comes from actor Mickey Rooney, who walked down the aisle eight times:

“Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day!”

*Statistics, courtesy of The Wedding Report, Inc.

Top 10 Most Outrageous Plastic Surgery Items

2008-06-09T10:11:00.000-07:00

In any new industry, many novelty items are developed early, and quickly put into use by adoring fans and then go the way of the Dodo bird.

For instance, cars once had little ovens attached to their exhaust manifolds for cooking while you travel. When steam powered cars were popular, just after the turn of the 19th century, one thoughtful auto maker installed a steam-powered organ as a pricey option in the backseat.

But, alas, roadside restaurants came into vogue, eliminating the need for cooking while driving and car radios made any type of traveling musical instrument unneeded.

You can find the same trend taking place in rejuvenation surgery worldwide.

So, if you don’t look quick, these top 10 plastic surgery novelty items may be gone before you know it:

1. Breast Massage Robot

(Inventorspot.com illustration.)

Its purpose doesn’t seem real clear, but this machine from China purports to automatically massage the breasts of the person sitting in it. One of its supposed uses is to relieve the post-op pain associated with breast augmentation.

2.Cool Mask

(Aqueduct Medical photo)

Sure, you could do the job with a bag of frozen peas flopped on rejuvenated eyelids or a freshly lifted mid-face, but it’s much cooler -- both stylistically and thermally -- to circulate cold water through a high-tech device to remove any surgical sting. Besides that, what’s wrong with going incognito? Do you want everybody to know about your surgery? The incognito thing apparently worked well for Zorro and the “Phantom of the Opera”; let’s just hope bank robbers don’t start using them!

3.Patented Baldness Technique

(Inventorspot.com illustration)

Another invention registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office lays claim to the technique we now know as the “combover” to conceal baldness. Sure, you could call it The Donald Trump, but that name is also trademarked and copyright protected. And woe betide he or she who misuses that moniker! The Donald would hire you just for the pleasure of firing you!

4.Traveling Hair Scrap Book

(Academy of Natural Sciences photo)

While we’re on the topic of hair, one thing every school child has always wanted to see: 200-year-old locks of hair from the first 12 U.S. presidents. Those snippets were taken long before anybody ever thought of hair restoration or, apparently, hair dye. For instance, George Washington’s sample is brown-gray, while Thomas Jefferson’s locks are reddish-gray. Titles weren’t exactly nailed down yet either. The second U.S. president was known as “His Excellency, John Adams.” Monroe, John Quincy Adams, and Jackson were also “His Excellencies.”

5.Roll CIT device

(Des Fernandes, M.D. photo)

If you perceive this to be a shrunken model of the lawn device that rolls across your grass to create drainage holes, you’ve got the concept. But this gizmo is approved for home use; you just roll this across your face as it is slathered with some vitamin A and other minerals. The Roll CIT (“Collagen Induction Therapy”) apparently replaces the need for chemical peels, dermabrasion or laser ablation. The device makes hundreds of tiny needle holes to allow fresh collagen to flow to the surface, thereby removing sun damages, fine lines, wrinkles, acne scars, and other facial marring.

6.Vacuum Pump Breast Augmentation

(Daily Mirror photo)

Above, notice we’ve carefully airbrushed the model’s actual, ah, mammary glands to make this fit for family viewing. The vacuum device -- basically two plastic domes connected to a suction machine --- claims it can replace surgical breast enlargement. But you had better have some time on your hands. Apparently, all m’lady has to do is wear it for 10 hours a day for 10 weeks. Presto! A/B cups morph into C/D cups, sans knife, surgeon, recovery period, or great expense. And not to worry! It’s all connected to a micro computer that won’t make you too large. The system is advertised in Britain at 790 pounds, which amounts to $1,539 U.S. smackers. Read more.

7.Lip Pumper

Not only Hans and Franz from the old Saturday Night Live “vanted to pump you up.” Yet another plastic surgery device -- pictured above -- claims it can pump up your actual kissers. And you don’t have to use it for 10 hours a day to get lip augmentation!

8.Breast Implants for Tattoos

(Remember, we are not making this up.) But the leading technique of getting real curves for his tattoo of a woman, turned out to be -- no pun intended -- a bust. Seems a non-surgeon put the tiny implants under the tattoo but left behind some nasty superbugs that created a raging infection. Plus, one of the implants, not having much wiggle room, broke under the skin. Result? More infection! Kinda makes you think Dodo birds have not really gone away.

9.The Plastic Surgery Freeway

The Beverly Hills Freeway has been built to ease and speed the flow of traffic in and through Beverly Hills (the world Mecca of Plastic Surgery.) So, while you’re zipping along at 70 mph, you can easily see the names of some of the city’s favorite off-ramps, like “Tummy Tuck Drive” and “Liposuction Place.” Most people just call it the Plastic Surgery Freeway.

Okay, thanks for bearing with us but you’ve been had! (It’s really a picture of a refrigerator magnet.) While everything else here is 100 percent true, we did make this one up. However, do you think it’s possible that someday we might build a Plastic Surgery Freeways in other hot spots like Miami, Manhattan, Brazil, Korea, Nashville, and Columbus, Ohio?

10.Plastic Surgery Glue

Why go see a plastic surgeon when you can just pick up some droopy or wrinkled skin and glue it in back in place? (Is this for real?) And, hey, don’t you just love that it works to the last drop? I always get so miffed when that final drop of anything lets go!

Top Medical News of the World

2008-05-22T09:06:00.000-07:00

Dementia in the Family? Get a Tummy Tuck!

Now, nobody ever said the way to prevent a case of Alzheimer’s later on in life is to rush out and get a tummy tuck . But it might improve the odds of keeping all, well okay, most of your marbles as an old timer.

Here’s how scientists found that belly fat can put bats in your belfry:

Kaiser Permanente in Northern California studied 6,583 of its patients and measured their stomachs between 1964 and 1973 when the study group was 40 to 45 years old.

Three decades later, the researchers went back and measured the same subjects’:

Waist sizes
Dementia rates

(SXC Photo)

Results? People with large bellies were 2.6 times more likely to develop dementia than people with a normal waist size. And the news got worse as study group stomachs grew larger. Obese study subjects with really large bellies -- on the order of a Santa Claus belly -- were 3.6 times more like to go bonkers as an old person.

Conclusion? Other than dieting and regular, hard exercise (whew! I get exhausted just thinking about it!). The only other way to cut down on belly fat seems to be via a tummy tuck (“abdominoplasty”).

Actually, most guys would consider the procedure if it were known as a “gut tuck” or maybe a “gut check.” There’s just something too delicate about the word “tummy.” Can you imagine anybody referring to the “beer gut” as a “beer tummy?” I should say not! It takes many years of dedicated, hard work to create a beer gut!

Obesity and Bad Breath

The bad news for overweight people never seems to end.

If being driven crazy by a little flab isn’t bad enough, Israeli researchers have found that obesity can cause bad breath, too. It’s sorta the same old story: take a group of people, study them and compare who’s got what. In this case, a study of 88 people found that the most overweight also suffered complaints about stinky breath! Nobody seems to know why yet. Maybe a tummy tuck fixes the bad breath thing, too! Read more.

Sleepy? Get a Nose Job!

Daytime sleepiness is a huge problem. Just check out living rooms at 9 in the evening and count the number of snoozers in front of a blaring T.V. Lack of z’s has also been blamed on a number of disasters from Three Mile Island to the Exxon Valdez oil spill to a massive failing of freshman English every year at most colleges and universities. (Well, okay, the colleges and universities, I attended, anyhow!)

(SXC photo)

Researchers in Taiwan studied 51 patients with symptoms of daytime sleepiness. The researchers accessed the patients a month before and three months after surgery. They found a significant drop in the rates of daytime sleepiness and blocked nasal airways.

Attention wives! Here’s the really good news: Most of the subjects also quit snoring!

One of the first things a plastic surgeon will do if you go in for a nose job will be to check on how well you breathe through your nose. Read more about sleepiness and having a nasal surgery.

Top Ten “No-No” Herbs in Plastic Surgery

2008-05-07T15:10:00.000-07:00

So you’re going in for a nip ‘n’ tuck to rejuvenate some sagging, drooping whatevers. Good for you! It will help you look and feel better.

But before you go under the knife, here’s a pearl of wisdom. (Not from me, of course; the information comes from some very smart doctors!)

Did you know that taking herbs can cause trouble during your surgery?

Sure, herbs are 100% natural but, hey, so are snake bites! And, to borrow a line from George Carlin, any time you’re talking about snake venom, all you need to know is: it’s bad for ya!

Insider hint: never confuse the word “safe” with “natural.”

Insider hint number 2: no known herb can create a breast augmentation, a face lift or remove fat from your body. But you’ll see tons of ads that promise just that. (Read more about overblown ads in cosmetic plastic surgery).

Turns out herbs are powerful medicines that vary in strength depending on if you consume the leaf or the root and the time of year the herb was picked.

Herb medley
SXC Photo

We mention all this because Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery, the leading professional journal for plastic surgeons, recently found that 55 percent of plastic surgery patients use herbs while only 24 percent of the general public take them. Read more.

You want to quit any herb at least several weeks before your surgery, according to top plastic surgeons Robert Kotler, M.D. in Beverly Hills and New Mexico plastic surgeon Patrick Hudson, M.D.

Surgeons bellyache because patients often forget to mention the herbs they take, thinking it makes no difference to their medical histories. And then things can get complicated or go south in the operating room (O.R.) when other meds interact with the herbs.

Here’s the list of verboten herbs before your plastic surgery procedure

1. Ginseng

Used to enhance energy levels, ginseng in the O.R. can cause high blood pressure or a racing heart if combined with some of the medicines used by the anesthesiologist. Ginseng can also slow blood clotting.

Sweet herbs
(Bura photo)

2. Ephedra (aka ma huang)

Consumed in many diet aids, ephedra increases blood pressure and, during surgery, may increase it too much when combined with common medicines.

3. St. John’s Wort

Used to treat depression and anxiety, St John’s Wort can prolong the effects of some narcotics and anesthetics. It also interacts with Demerol, a prescription pain reliever.

4. Ginko Biloba

Taken to increase circulation, ginko can cause excess bleeding in the operating room.

5. Feverfew

Often used to treat migraines, feverfew can also increase bleeding during surgery.

6. Garlic

Usually taken to lower blood fat levels, garlic can also cause too much bleeding during an operation.

Garlic chives
(jkingsbeer photo)

7. Licorice

Many people with stomach woes take licorice. But during surgery, it can cause liver problems and water retention.

8. Glucosamine

Consumed to ease joint distress, glucosamine contains chemical elements that mimic human insulin and may cause high blood sugar while you are under the knife.

9. Chondroitin

Often taken as a folk remedy for bone arthritis, chondroitin can cause excess bleeding if combined with doctor-prescribed blood thinning medications.

10. Valerian

Valerian acts as a mild sedative when you take it at home. But in the operating room, it can increase the effect of anesthesia and cause a deeper sleep.

Other herbs often mentioned in the same breath as “surgical complications” include echinacea, glucosamine, goldenseal, melatonin, kava and milk thistle.

Just remember: herbs. It’s bad for ya!

What’s Your Favorite Herb?

NEXT: Top Ten Fat-Sucking Tunes

Does Computer Gaming = Top Plastic Surgery Skills?

2008-04-24T10:05:00.000-07:00

It’s true! According to a new study, if you are a whiz at video games, you may make a better surgeon…at least the type of surgeon who performs “keyhole” surgery.

Keyhole surgery? What is that? Some kind of surgery by locksmiths?

“Keyhole” surgery
keyhole.uk.co. photo

Nope, it’s a type of surgery done through an opening in the skin as tiny as a keyhole. It’s a delicate type of work because you have to watch what you’re doing inside the body on a television monitor. (Read about the top 8 “keyhole surgeries” used in plastic surgery.)

But if you are into shooting games, join the Army Rangers instead and forget about surgery. These computer skills obviously lead to a helping profession.

Here’s how they found out about it: Scientists at Beth Israel Medical Center in New York City studied 33 surgeons who actually had to audition for the test by playing three different video games for up to 25 minutes. (We’re not making this up; read the actual scientific report.)

Today, video games!
Tomorrow, operating rooms!
(Songbird photo via SXC)

Next, the testers watched each surgeon for one and one-half days while the doc was doing real surgery. Can you imagine sewing something together while watching and guiding a needle and its thread on a T.V. screen? Got a better idea now why plastic surgeons have to stay in school for so many years? (Read more about the training of plastic surgeon.)

Results? Nine young surgeons who played video games at least three hours a week made 37 percent few mistakes and worked 27 percent faster than 15 others surgeons who never played video games at all.

lapsurg.com.au photo

The same nine surgeons also scored 42 percent higher overall on the surgical tests.

The study, printed in the February, 2008, Archives of Surgery concluded: “Video games may be a practical teaching tool to help train surgeons.”

So….next time you hear a parent or teachers yell at a kid for spending too much time video gaming, tell the critic to cool it ‘cause that kid just might someday become a top surgeon!

Tell us what you have learned from playing video games!

Guys: Forget My Hair! Do my Spider Veins Instead!

2008-04-24T09:17:00.000-07:00

A chance for more evolved males after all?

When the American Academy of Cosmetic Surgery (AACS) was rounding up annual statistics, they made an amazing discovery: The standard treatment for spider and varicose veins now ranks as the number 2 leading cosmetic dermatological surgery.

And get this: Since 2002, guys who want their spider veins removed via sclerotherapy have increased 226 percent. Women wanting the same procedure have only increased by 3.5 percent. Read more.

Why? Because more men are letting their noggins remain bald and shiny while they tackle (I just had to get an action verb in there somewhere!) their spider and varicose veins. Read more.

Spider veins -- dude version
(AAD photo)

But some skeptics note that the cost of hair transplants has increased to $1296, while sclerotherapy decreased by $103.

You don’t suppose guys are springing for the cheaper procedure, do you? If so, maybe the next entry about bald heads means more and more guys are becoming less insecure about their hair. Hey, far stranger things have happened.

For Totally Bald Heads

Among the many new products designed to spiff up personal appeal, we could not help but notice a new product, Bald Guyz, for men who have -- often by choice -- not a single strand of hair on their heads.

What does Bald Guyz do, you ask? Easy! It cleans the bare skull. Or, at least the bare skin attached to a skull shorn of its curly locks. Makes your head as smooth as a baby’s bottom, as it were.

Bald Guyz photo

And just in the nick of time!

Actually, many hair-challenged guys choose to shave their heads daily because a totally bald head is seen by some as more masculine than a state of partial baldness (think Mr. Clean and actor Yul Brenner.)

All the while, millions of others yearn with all their hearts for some hair to grace their bare pates.

Wikipedia photo

But what could a guy do? H-m-m-m-m-m-….thinking…thinking…..nope, it’s too tough; I’m stumped.

Oh wait, maybe there is something! Perhaps somebody who wants some hair on his head could…..wait for it……get a hair transplant! Lots of dermatologists and plastic and cosmetic surgeons perform the procedure. (Read more about hair transplant procedures.)

If that doesn’t work, there are always the clubs Bald R Us or Bald-Headed Men of America. Birds of a feather and all.

Demi Moore’s Medical Leeches

2008-04-18T14:41:00.001-07:00

According to Cripes Suzette! and her unusually far out but entertaining website, Death by 1000 Papercuts, actress Demi Moore says the secret to her youthfulness is leech therapy.

No, Demi doesn’t roll around a swamp hoping the wormy little vampires will latch on. Instead, she uses medical leeches to “cleanse and detoxify” her body. Really! (It wasn’t an April Fool’s stunt.) Read more.

In response -- and probably to deflect additional comments about any questions at all regarding Hillary Clinton’s plastic surgery -- the former leading lady said she doesn’t need any medical leeches because she’s already got two ugly, blood suckers permanently attached to her!

But, hey, we don’t talk politics here! We do evidence-based medicine and plastic surgery. And to enlighten Suzette and the amazed folks at Death by 1000 Papercuts, we bring you this bonefide picture of medical leeches. With an actual medical professional who know how to use them.

Doctor’s Little Helpers
Medical Leeches (scienceinAfrica.com photo)

These creatures actually carry a low yuck factor because they live in sterile conditions and are fed a balanced U.S. FDA approved diet. (Well, balanced for leeches, anyhow.)

In fact, we once carried a story about medical leeches helping plastic surgeons save and reattach a Louisiana woman’s eyelid that had been torn off in a dog attack. Read more.

Oh, and since we do evidence-based medicine, here’s another handy tip. The body already does an excellent job of cleansing and detoxifying itself. Otherwise, you would become very, very sick -- if not on death’s doorstep -- because you would have what is commonly known as a raging infection. Read more.

What’s Your Experience with Leeches? (Note: Do not include family members!)

Next: Computer gamers make good surgeons; Guys are doing their spider veins andProducts for totally bald heads.

Are You Healthy Enough for Plastic Surgery

2008-04-18T14:16:00.000-07:00

There you are, at the office of your favorite plastic surgeon. Now, he’s telling you must go get some type of medical clearance for that asthma or high blood pressure you’ve got.

"Hey, what gives? I’m here for a nose job!"

Tuck ‘n’ Stitch tell why you must show you’re healthy enough for cosmetic plastic surgery and why a physical exam before plastic surgery is a good idea.

Top 10 Requests to Plastic Surgeons for Male Celeb Features

2008-04-17T08:30:00.000-07:00

Brad Pitt and George Clooney seem to be the most admired celebrities by guys worldwide who are looking for a nip ‘n’ tuck. So, these days, many patients ask plastic surgeons to surgically create a look that mirrors a more famous feature.

According to a global survey done in 84 nations by the International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ISAPS), male plastic surgery patients notice -- and ask for -- celebrity stomachs, noses, and eyes, say the respondents who are some 20,000 plastic surgeons. Next items on the guys’ most admired and desired list are famous chests, chins and buttocks.

Overall, Brad Pitt was mentioned more often for the most envied facial and body features. George Clooney was a close runner up with many patients mentioning features of the “Govenator,” former action star Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Here are the top ten requests:

1. Buff stomachs, for instance, were often noted on Brad Pitt and Matthew McConaughey. Action stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, David Beckham, and Belgian Jean-Claude Van Damme, the “Muscles from Brussels,” followed closely.

Van Damme
(Wikipedia photo)

(Read more about high-definition liposculpture, a new liposuction procedure for gym rats that allows highly-toned muscles show through the skin.)

2. Nose. Top duo Brad Pitt and George Clooney owned this category.

Side note: Many patients in the survey cautioned their surgeons to do nothing that would leave their noses looking anything like the tiny, delicate nose on Michael Jackson. (Read more about botched nose surgeries.)

3. Eyes. Brad Pitt, George Clooney, and Ben Affleck tied.

4. Chest. Schwarzenegger won, hands down. Brazilian Paulo Zulu was a close runner up.
(Read about a guy who won an I-Want-a-Chest-like Arnold’s contest.)

Schwarzenegger, pre-governor version.
(TMZ photo)

5. Chin. The most requests were for chins like Clooney or Pitt. Runners up were Kirk Douglas, Ricky Martin, Antonio Banderas, and 1940s-era swashbuckler, Errol Flynn.

Errol Flynn, 1940.
(Wikipedia photo)

(Chins augmented with coral? It happens in plastic surgery! Read more.)

6. Buttocks. Brad Pitt again! Others mentioned included Mel Gibson, Ricky Martin, and Paulo Zulu.

(While many more women than men are opting for buttocks augmentation, Chicago Plastic Surgeon Roger Pielet, M.D. says he does so many male buttocks enhancements that he has special days and waiting areas for guys only. Read more about butt augmentation.)

7. Cheeks. Pitt and Clooney tied. Tom Cruise and Paulo Zulu were runners up.

8. Lips. Clooney and Pit once more! But many admired the kissers of Antonio Banderas and Korean movie star Dong-Kun Jang.

Korean movie star Dong-Kun Jang.
(Starm Photo.)

9. Hair. Tom Cruise, followed by David Beckham.

(Hair-challenged men and women will want to know about the hair transplant procedures offered by plastic surgeons.)

10. Legs. David Beckham, followed by Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Hey, what male celebrity features do you admire?

The ISAPS now estimates that men comprise between 10 and 20 percent of the average plastic surgery practices worldwide. Closer to home, the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS) estimates that nine percent of plastic surgery patients were men during 2007, the most recent year for which statistics are available.

NEXT: Demi Moore’s Leeches.

Priscilla Presley’s Silicone Woes in New Column, Tuck ‘N’ Stitch

2008-04-09T09:46:00.000-07:00

(Dr. Kotler and Dr. Linder aka Tuck 'n' Stitch)

A couple of Beverly Hills’ finest plastic surgeons, Robert Kotler, M.D. and Stuart Linder, M.D., -- known as Tuck ‘n’ Stitch to bloggers -- discuss Priscilla Presley and her mishaps with facial liquid injections.

Turns out there are some legitimate medical uses for injecting the stuff. The doctors tell you all about it in their latest post at YourNewBodyBlog.com.

World’s Top 10 Celebrity Plastic Surgery Requests

2008-04-03T08:32:00.000-07:00

Classic Actresses -- Marilyn Monroe, Liz Taylor, Grace Kelly and Sophia Loren -- Still Make the Most Wanted List, say Global Plastic Surgeons.

Love Loren’s Lips? Like Lopez’s Legs? Bundchen’s Breasts, Maybe?

The International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (ISAPS) questioned 20,000 plastic surgeons in 84 nations, asking which celebrity feature cosmetic plastic surgery patients most often request.

Here are the ten most requested women celebrity body parts:
1. Breasts: Top requests for breast augmentation look-alikes were Pamela Anderson, Brazilian Beauty Gisele Bundchen, Britney Spears and another Brazilian entertainer, XuXa. (Just say “shoo-shah” and Latin Americans will know you are a true citizen of the world.)

Brazilian entertainer Xuxa.
(CelebsGallery.org photo)

Yet a significant portion of patients added they did not want to look like Pamela Anderson, Dolly Parton, or Victoria Beckham after their procedures.

Gisele Bundchen
(Wikipedia photo)

2. Lips: Angelina Jolie was voted tops for beautiful lips among lip augmentation patients followed by Julia Roberts.

3. Buttocks: Jennifer Lopez, hands down, followed by Halle Berry and Sandra Bullock. (Only their surgeons know for sure who has buttocks augmentation or implants, if any!)

4. Nose: Nicole Kidman’s schnoz leads the pack of most admired noses worldwide by rhinoplasty wannabe patients, followed by Julia Roberts, Grace Kelly, and Princess Mary of Denmark.

5. Abdomen: Gisele Bundchen was tops, followed Demi Moore and Britney Spears (earlier in her career).

Princess Mary of Denmark
(Wikipedia photo)

6. Eyes: Angelina Jolie took this category, too. Some asked for peepers like classic actresses Sophia Loren, Elizabeth Taylor, Catherine Deneuve, and Greta Garbo. (Of course, all plastic surgeons can do is open and refresh sagging eyelids via upper and lower blepharoplasty.)

7. Cheeks: Sophia Loren had the most votes among those wanting malar implant surgery, followed by Michelle Pfeiffer, Nicole Kidman, Angelia Jolie, and Marilyn Monroe.

8. Legs: There was a three-way tie between Tina Turner, Sharon Stone, and Cameron Diaz. Jenifer Lopez was the runner-up.

9. Hair: Gisele Bundchen has the most admired locks followed closely by Jennifer Aniston and Julia Roberts.

10. Chin: There was no clear-cut leader among chin augmentation patients but the voting patients equally admired the chins of Nicole Kidman, Julia Roberts, and Charlize Theron.

The survey also revealed that lip augmentation and breast enlargement were the leading cosmetic plastic surgeries worldwide.

Here are some articles that explain more about the enhancement of lips and breasts:

* Hip on Hot Lips

*Breast Enlargement by T.U.B.A.: Do Women Like It?

* Breast Augmentation Increases in Volume

What Celebrity Features Do You Most Admire?

Hint: If you see a plastic surgeon, don’t insist on looking too much like any celebrity. Plastic surgeons are trained to screen out nut cases who want endless rejuvenation surgery or are too anxious to be a dead ringer for a famous person. Those patients often have a real medical condition known as body dysmorphic disorder or BDD.

NEXT: Top 10 Plastic Surgery Requests for Male Celeb Features

Do Female Hormones in the Water Cause More “Man Boobs?”

2008-03-25T09:30:00.000-07:00

Will the U.S. see more cases of gynecomastia, the much-despised condition resulting in “Man boobs” or “Moobs,” as they are also known?

It may be due to the many pharmaceuticals found in U.S. drinking water.

Some plastic surgeons in England have already noticed that their rate of performing gynecomastia surgery is going up. In 2007, according to the British Association of Plastic Surgeons, 4,000 “blokes” had cosmetic plastic surgery to create flatter, more masculine chests. In contrast, 2005 saw only 2,100 such operations.

During 2007, the U.S. recorded 20,289 such cases, according to the American Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ASAPS).

Here’s a typical story (“How I got Rid of My ‘Moobs’”) about what a guy with large breasts must put up with from his “mates.” Read more.

Doctors and other scientists say no single drink of tap water is like getting a dose of medicine. It’s just that the trace elements in water build up over time to create the effect.

Gynecomastia Causes

However, drinking water is not the only culprit. If a “bloke” drinks too much booze, uses street drugs, has hormone therapy for cancer of the prostate, eats foods containing the female hormone estrogen, his breasts often enlarge -- even in thin guys -- to the average size of teen girl.

(I know what you’re thinking! Should you wear a bra if you have gynecomastia? Or a training bra, at least? Actually, Seinfeld once called bras for men “bros.” Anyhow, this is not the way these guys wanted to get in touch with their feminine sides!)

A then 14-year-old patient is pictured on the left before his gynecomastia was corrected through surgery. (Photo courtesy of Elliott Jacobs, M.D.)

There appears to be no way to work off or exercise away gynecomastia. Alan Kingdon, M.D., a London cosmetic surgeon, noticed the increase in male breast reduction surgery and conducted a study on the tissues removed. He found that bone fide mammary gland tissue, which normally grows only in women. More.

Given the nature of male humor, it’s only a matter of time until some U.S. fraternity writes a new song for their parties and names it, “Drink and be Mary.”

But wait, there’s more! A popular shampoo may also cause gynecomastia. More.

And: read about an MTV contest winner who wanted to have a surgically created chest like that of Arnold Schwarzenegger, the “Governator.”

Guys: Tell Us about Your Life with “Man Boobs.”

Gals: How do You React to Guys with Fleshy Chests?

Top 7 Plastic Surgery Foods

2008-03-13T14:11:00.000-07:00

1. Beer for Breast Growth

Okay, so it’s not food! And it won’t replace professional breast augmentation any time soon. But beer has massive amounts of nutrients, as any dedicated beer drinker will attest after he (or sometimes, she) has gained a huge stomach. (They don’t call it a beer belly for nothing!)

Boza Beer -- brewed in Bulgaria
(TheMightyQuill photo)

But this beer promises to enlarge breasts and not stomachs! Boza Beer in Bulgaria is now big business because European Union members are traveling there to bring Boza back to their significant others….by the case. Will the suds be a cohort to the King of Beers, join royalty and become known as the Queen of Beers? And why not? We’ve got Queens of various nations, such as England and Denmark, as well as the Queen of Country Music, the Queen of the Hop, the Queen of Mean, the Queen of Soul and the royalty who rule the Isle of Dogs and the Kingdom of Yap. More.

2. The F-Cup Cookie

(Nippon photo)

You must travel to Japan to munch this product, but the buzz is that a couple of “special” cookies a day will eventually create an F-sized bustline, thereby replacing the need for surgical breast augmentation. Supposedly, the eats contain a “secret” Asian ingredient that mimics estrogen, the female hormone. Read more. A plastic surgeon’s take? Not likely!

3. Lollipop Weight Loss

Have you ever wondered what’s up with Hollywood celebrities being seen with a lollipop jammed into their mouths? At first, I personally thought it was a refreshing new wave of juvenile regression, with pseudo-adults making the quarter leap necessary to get back to full childhood.

Britney Spears with a lollipop.
(TMZ Photo)

But, no, it could be more unbelievable than that. There is actually such a thing as a weight loss lollipop. The magic ingredient this time? An African herb known as hoodia gordoni. And why a lollipop? It’s the delivery method.
You’re supposed to consume hoodia slo-o-o-o-wly for it to knock off the pounds. More.

(If you’re interested, read about body contouring, the plastic surgery procedure for people who have lost massive amounts of weight -- without any lollipops.)

4. Chocolate Facial

This is a fantastic development! Talk about a total regression to childhood! You get to wear chocolate all over your face like you did when you were a kid; licking the bowl when mom baked a cake. What’s more, this facial supposedly replaces the need for not-so-tasty, facial skin rejuvenations such as dermabrasion or facial peels.

If you’re on the more mature side, you don’t have to ask for a so-called “chocolate facial.” It’s also known as a CoCo2 facial. More.

5. Botox Cookie

Ever notice how wrinkled your tongue is? Lots of grooves and wrinkly tissues in there? Well, a picture is worth one thousand words, right?

In the U.K., a U.S. cookie is known as a “biscuit.”
(Photo: Botox biscuit by su-lin via Flickr)

Well, it appears a couple of pranksters at Flickr.com put a cookie (hey, not the F-cup kind! Wrong procedure!) in a Botox container and took a picture. You can’t really buy a Botox cookie, but the concept is more interesting than a weight loss lollipop, don’t you think?

6. Cosmetics for Meat and Fish

While we’re on the topic of plastic surgery and food, there is one type of food that may be getting its own type of cosmetic makeover.

The U.S. meat industry wants to pass H.R. 3115, a bill which would allow the industry to treat meat, fowl, and fish with carbon monoxide, (or CO, if your favorite reading is the periodic chart of the elements.) Why? Makes meat look fresher.

However, one lawmaker, Congressman Bart Stupak, brought some two-year-old ground beef that had been treated with CO to a Congressional meeting. According to Stupak, it was as red as the day it was purchased. Read more. (But hold your nose!)

7. Pigs’ Feet (Really!)

(Vixs photo)

We are not making any of this up! A scientist somewhere has found that pigs’ feet, the time-honored delicacy way down South, contains huge amounts of collagen, the protein responsible for smooth skin and taunt muscle tone. After that discovery, the inevitable happened: a classy Japanese restaurant in New York starting serving 33 dishes that feature some form of pigs’ feet. Some doctors claim a tasty dish of pigs’ feet is as good for your complexion as a collagen shot.

I would like to say yummy to all this…..but I just can’t bring myself to utter the words.

Hey, let’s be realistic, here. I always thought the true purpose of raising pigs was for the creation of footballs.
More.

Do you have a favorite plastic surgery food?

NEXT: Does our drinking water cause guys to grow breasts?

Shaking the Booty -- Women and Men Gone Wild

2008-02-28T09:06:00.000-08:00

While the trend of augmenting buttocks has taken off in the United States, it has now reached the continent of Africa where they have a new reason for shakin’ it.

It all happened because of a hit song known as “Big Bottom” in the African nation, Ivory Coast.

Here’s a YouTube take on it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dH-4T6fwpw.

Ivory Coast recording artists D.J. Mix and DJ Eloh penned a smash hit, Bobaraba, or, “Big Bottom” in the local Djoula language, intending the tune as a compliment to women with larger bottoms. So when the song plays, many women and a few more men (including macho soccer stars) crowd the dance floor to shake their respective Bobarabas.

(Nobody at the American consulate seems to know if K.C. and the Sunshine Band’s top hit, “Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake Your Booty” has been translated into Djoula.)

Authentic Bobarabas
shaking.

The trend only goes astray as more and more women try to enhance their rear ends by using cheap ($2 each) Chinese supplied vitamin B-12 shots. Unfortunately, B-12 shots only cure vitamin B-12 insufficiency. More.

Authentic, enthusiastic Bobarabas
shaking. (Bazil.Rauback.SXC photo)

Imagine what will happen when the trend reaches America where many plastic surgeons offer buttocks augmentation of the female derrière.

A conversation like this may take place in thousands of American homes:

Wife: Darling, do I look fat in this dress?

Husband: I ain’t touchin’ that question with a ten-foot pole!

Wife: No, really. If my booty isn’t “big bottom” enough, I want to get it enlarged.

Husband: What’s this going to cost me?

Wife: What’s the difference? Don’t you want me to be happy?

Husband: Happiness is having a big bottom?

Wife: Sure! You can’t really dance the Bobaraba with a skinny ol’ bottom like mine! Oh, boo-hoo, boo-hoo! (She’s thinking, “Now! Hit the waterworks!”)

Husband: How ‘bout an unlimited supply of some nice B-12 shots? (Ah-ha! So the husband has been reading the Ivory Coast news!)

Wife: Nope! I want the real thing! I want buttocks augmentation from a plastic surgeon seen on television, with his own fan club and movie star patients. (And she has been watching a lot of American television!)

Husband: Uh, well, B-12 shots are quicker. (He reads the Ivory Coast news daily.)

Wife: Oh, boo-hoo, boo-hoo. You don’t love me! You want me to have a flat bottom! (She’s thinking, “I hope this works; I can’t cry much more!”)

Husband: O.K. forget the B-12 shots. Here’s a blank check for the buttocks enlargement! (He’s thinking: “Maybe now I won’t have to spend the week end moving that 900 pound, 18-piece sectional couch all over the living room to new positions so she can have it back where it first was!”)

Attention husbands and wives: under the strict medical and scientific guidelines known as “looking before you leap,” here’s more on what buttocks augmentation is all about.

The next thing we would all like to know: who’s going to write the next hit song about shaking it in the U.S. bottoms?