tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869888.post-72839468492116171312008-03-21T09:12:00.000-04:002008-03-21T09:12:00.000-04:00I've actually never thought if it like that, like I was overweight cause I'm trying to kill myself. I don't think that's it for me. What I have thought of is, it's my own personal hell for some things in life I didn't do quite right, or didn't act quite right. I don't know. I think the wt thing has a lot to do with self esteem or lack of it. Well, that's for me anyway. I always have eternal hope that I can cure this demon, my inner demons and get to a healthy weight for the rest of my life. I really don't know why we self sabotage....it really sucks. I do it over and over when I get close to the 200lb mark. What the heck is it? Fear of success? Fear of failure? Just the love of food? I don't think it is the love of food, not really. But, what if you keep digging deep into your soul and you still can't find out how to fix yourself? How to be happy and healthy. A never ending battle.<BR/>I can't sleep this morning so I might be a little more negative than usual. ha. Take care spider.angelfish24http://www.blogger.com/profile/13444378218098178416noreply@blogger.com