Want What You Have

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T16:47:00.011-06:00

(This year's Christmas card photo)

Despite the nasty weather (rain, sleet, AND snow), we've been having a lovely Christmas celebration. The girls opened their Santa presents this morning - a portable basketball hoop and ball for Bee, and the Fisher Price "Swan Palace" for Cakes. I bought both of these items online, and by combining a variety of strategies, I got free shipping, avoided store craziness, and saved 40% off retail price. YAY!

We never buy presents for Pumpkin, but he doesn't care. He likes the packaging best anyway.

Today we ate too much Christmas candy, drank a couple bottles of sparkling red grape juice (in fancy glasses), and the girls played for hours with their presents. As my husband said, the advantage of having a budget and setting a present limit is that the kids really seem to appreciate and enjoy the presents they receive, because they aren't overwhelmed by a mountain of gifts.

For supper we're making a big pot of creamy chicken and wild rice soup. It's very similar to Panera Bread's recipe, which the girls love. Tomorrow we'll have Christmas with my parents, and we'll visit my husband's family on Sunday. I'll probably spend the entire time in a semi-reclining position, to help with my pain, and I'll have to bring the nebulizer along. I'm just the life of the party these days...look out for me!

The only thing missing from our holiday is church. It feels strange and empty to not attend a church service on Christmas, but the weather has been so awful that many churches cancelled services. Even if the weather was nice, we still couldn't go, because I'm too sick. This is my 13th day of illness, and while I don't have the respiratory distress that I had previously, I still cough non-stop, and have almost no speaking voice left. My peak flows are poor, even though I do my nebulizer treatments religously every 4 hours, and my rib pain is so excruciating (it's made much worse by coughing), that I can't sit upright for more than a few minutes.

Honestly, my only Christmas wish is to feel better. The coughing is starting to exhaust me, and I'm worried about going into labor. I imagine it's pretty tough to breathe through contractions while puffing on a nebulizer...but enough of my whining! It's Christmas!

I sincerely hope that your holiday has been safe, warm and happy. Merry Christmas Friends!

Guest Post - Michelle from Trading Ashes for Beauty

2009-12-23T12:37:00.005-06:00

Today my good friend, Michelle, from Trading Ashes for Beauty, offers us a very important reminder, especially at this time of year, to take a break from all the activity and remember Christ's sacrifice for us through the ritual of Communion. I know that I often take Communion for granted because at our church, we have Communion at every service. Next time, I will remember that Communion is far more than bread and juice...it's a precious reminder of the saving grace of Christ. Thank you Michelle, for sharing your heart.

My goodness, what an honor to be asked to write a post for Heather! I have big shoes to fill, and I hope I don’t come up short to Heather’s expectations! Anyway, I have been praying over this, and here is what I feel led to write about.

At this time of year, many churches celebrate Communion. I grew up in a southern Baptist church, and every Christmas Eve we gathered at 6:00 to take Communion. As a child, it was a bothersome thing, having to leave the cookie baking and playing with my friends and cousins who had come into town for Christmas. I had to get dressed up in itchy velvet and uncomfortable tights and black patent leather shoes that pinched my toes and made squeaky sounds when they rubbed together. As a teenager, it was a chance to dress up in whatever was stylish and new from my Mom for Christmas and see my friends. During the service we would whisper about what we hoped we would find under the tree the next morning. Afterwards, it was the hope of seeing that special young man who I had dressed up for in hopes of impressing and hope for a little Christmas magic that would turn him into the perfect Christmas Ken-doll boyfriend.

I married very young, and promising to never return to small-town Southern life, we moved 6,000 miles from home to Hawaii, where Christmas was celebrated much differently. Since we attended the inter-denominational chapel on the Navy base, there was no Christmas Eve communion. Having married and moved away to escape the small-town Southern life and what it offered, which in my young ignorant mind was spending my life married to a redneck who chewed tobacco and had hound dogs and went out to kill wildlife with his shotgun any chance he got while I stayed home barefoot and pregnant, the Navy life excited me! It offered adventure and new friends and new experiences. Over time, the tradition of Communion, along with most of my Christian upbringing and rituals gradually disappeared. After going through the pain of infertility, betrayal by my Ken-doll husband, a painful divorce and FINALLY the joy of finally meeting my soulmate, I found myself longing for the traditions again. But was it truly the tradition I missed?

After learning to NEVER SAY NEVER, we moved back to the South and I found myself at a Christmas Eve Communion service again in the same church I grew up in, this time with my husband and 5 month old baby girl. The silver communion plates gleamed in the candlelight. The choir voices blended in perfect harmony. The juice and wafers were the same. But it felt like something was missing.

A few years and a few hollow Communion services later, I experienced a weekend of intensive soul searching and renewal of my Christian walk. I felt closer to Christ than ever. I finally understood what He did for me. When it came time to take communion, the leader shared with us that many people pass the Communion plate on by, because they feel so unworthy of taking Communion. (I had never actually passed the plate without taking a wafer and juice, but inside I often felt guilty about doing so, fearing that God would be angry with me for taking His Holy Communion when I was so messed up inside). She went on to explain that NONE of us, even our pastors and teachers are worthy of His communion and grace, that it is only through Christ’s death on the cross that His blood MADE US WORTHY! Wow….. what a revelation! I AM WORTHY!!!! It is through HIS ultimate sacrifice that Christ made me worthy to take part in this ancient ritual.

Communion now is very precious to me. I understand that the broken bread and juice represent Christ’s broken body and the blood He shed for me. I cry most everytime I take communion now, because it is so much more that getting dressed up and lighting candles and eating a bland cracker while waiting to choke down some tart juice. It is partaking of Supper with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

This year, since we are part of a new Church, we had Communion on Sunday morning, and there will not be a communion service Christmas Eve. My husband will be leading us in the observance of Holy Communion at home for the very first time, and I am sure I will cry harder than ever as I reflect on what Jesus did for me and my family as we take the symbolic bread and cup in remembrance of Christ.

I urge you to consider taking a few minutes away from gift wrapping and baking and cooking and cleaning and sit down with your family. It doesn’t have to be fancy, some juice and some bread is all you need, and celebrate your own time of refection on what the birth of a Savior over 2,000 years ago means to you.

Guest Blogger Slots Filled - Thank you!

2009-12-22T19:52:00.003-06:00

All of my guest blogger slots filled up right away. Thanks so much to everyone who volunteered. Here is the schedule:

Wed. 12/23 - Michelle
Sat. 12/26 - Katy
Mon. 12/28 - Nan
Tues. 12/29 - Amy
Wed. 12/30 - Narelle
Sat. 1/2 - Autumn
Mon. 1/4 - PJ

If any of you have conflicts with this schedule, please let me know. Even if these dates don't work out for you, I'd still love to feature a post from you, on another date of your choosing.

I really appreciate your help. I'm finding that I can't really even sit at the computer anymore for any length of time, because the pain in my ribs is excruciating. It's nice to know that my blog won't be neglected. I can't wait to read all of your posts!

Call for Guest Bloggers

2009-12-22T14:56:00.009-06:00

Amy suggested yesterday that I invite guest bloggers to write while I'm not feeling well (still very little improvement today, unfortunately), and I think that's a great idea.

If you would be interested in writing a guest post for this blog, please take a look at the schedule below, and see if you can fill any of these dates. I know the holidays are a very busy time, but your post can be as simple or as involved as you wish. You can write about any of the subjects addressed here - frugality, simple living, organization, IVF (if you've had that experience and would like to share), faith, recipes and cooking, parenting, marriage, humour....whatever you'd like.

Available post dates (so far):
Wed. 12/23 (filled- Michelle)
Sat. 12/26 (filled - Katy)
Mon. 12/28 (filled - Nan)
Tues. 12/29 (filled - Amy)
Wed. 12/30 (filled - Narelle)
Sat. 1/2 (filled - Autumn)
Mon. 1/4 (filled - PJ)

I'm going to handle this on a first-come basis, so whoever requests a date first will be scheduled.

I can't wait to read your posts, and I really appreciate your willingness to help me fill my dead air space (so to speak) during this not-so-great time. I expected to feel better long ago, and I pray that within a week, I'll be back to my old self, able to breathe, eat and sleep like a normal person again.

Thanks!

The Top 10 Posts of 2009

2009-12-21T10:48:00.015-06:00

It looks like I'll be of no use to anyone until after Christmas, because I'm still sick! I had a terrible weekend of non-stop coughing, nose-blowing, and general misery. On Saturday the pain in my ribs was unbearable, and last night I coughed so hard that I pulled a stomach muscle. We didn't even go to church yesterday because I didn't know how I would manage to sit through the service.

I barely ate anything all weekend, and this morning I only managed to eat half an English muffin. I have no appetite, and I have to eat teeny-tiny meals because I don't have any room left.

It's no fun to be me right now.

I feel like I'm just in limbo, waiting for the day when this child can safely come out, and my brain doesn't even work well enough to come up with any new blog material. So....for your amusement, here is a list of the top 10 most popular posts of 2009, based on comment count. I hope you enjoy reading through them again, as I did.

10) ***TIE***
Sleep Training a 2-Year-Old I wrote this post during a particularly difficult phase when Cakes was waking up 5 or 6 times a night. You all felt my pain.

and

The Big Day - I wrote this the night before our fertility clinic appointment, when we were to meet with our doctor and get the ball rolling for our final embryo transer. I was nervous, and a bit scared, but look where we are now! God is so good!

9) ***TIE***
Give Me Words to Speak - When I was feeling very depressed and separated from God, you let me know that I wasn't alone.

and

Why Adam Lambert Didn't Win American Idol - My rant in defense of Adam Lambert's right to win, despite his homosexuality. Incidentally, while I still think he's enormously talented, my opinion of him is decidedly less positive after his vulgar and completely inappropriate performance at the American Music Awards. In fact, I told my husband that I didn't want his CD anymore - and it has nothing to do with his sexual orientation. I just take issue with obscenity in general...especially when children could be watching.

8) ***TIE***
You Can't Get Rid of Me That Easily - After taking abuse from some (anonymous) readers, I went on a very brief hiatus, before deciding that I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of quitting.

and

Frugal Snobbery - A post in defense of being frugal in whatever way works for you!

7) Are We Boring You? - After my husband wrote a series of posts about our love story, I just wanted to make sure that our loveyness wasn't making you want to barf.

6) Update on Heather - After my recent bout of illness, my husband wanted to let you know what was going on, and you were sweetly supportive as always.

5) Thanks for the Heads Up Miss Perfect! - This is what happens when I get pissed off. When a reader criticized my kid, the mama bear in me came out. It wasn't pretty.

4) The Mystery of Pat...SOLVED! - Written after our ultrasound, which revealed what you all seemed to know already...that "Pat" (now known as DJ) was a boy!

3) IVF Parents - We're Just Like You - My defense of an IVF parent's right to have the same fears, worries, complaints, and joys as any other parent.

2) I Decided... - When I revealed the positive results of my pregnancy test, you were all just as happy as I was. I'm blessed with such good friends!

1) The Future of this Blog - During a time of great discouragement, when I thought about throwing in the towel, you let me know, in no uncertain terms, that you wanted me to stay. I'm so glad.

If you don't hear from me until after Christmas, I want to wish you all a happy, healthy, blessed holiday. Merry Christmas, my friends.

How do you spell "Relief?"

2009-12-18T15:06:00.006-06:00

I feel much better today! I'm not coughing even a fraction as much, and my wheezing is so much better. I'm even starting to feel a bit stir crazy, since I haven't left the house since Sunday. That has to be a good sign.

I'm very thankful to be feeling better, honestly, but I still have one major complaint...my ribs. They hurt so bad, I sometimes can't stand it. Last night, my husband lifted my arms over my head and held them, in an attempt to lift my poor, squashed rib cage off my uterus, and it felt so good. Until he let go.

Kathy came to check me out yesterday, and she said that I'm measuring at 36 weeks - I start the 35th week tomorrow - and I have a slight excess of amniotic fluid, which could be contributing to that. Nothing to be alarmed about at this point, but DJ is still in a weird position, laying on his side like a C, with his feet in my ribs. Both of these things are contributing to the pain, and I feel like a huge baby, because sometimes it hurts so bad that I feel tears come to my eyes. Sitting at the computer is excruciating, because when I sit, my huge belly pushes up even more on my ribs. There's just no way to describe it, but if you've had this problem, you know what I mean!

Which brings me to my question. Have you had this problem? If so, how did you find relief?

I'm desperate.

In much happier news, I was so charmed by this handmade card that Bee left on my nightstand yesterday. The front cover:

Inside....very creative use of hyphenation, and her trademark "winking" heart, which she loves to draw.

The back cover. It's good to know that I "rock," at least for now. I'm going to save this card for the teenage years when she thinks I'm a nerd, as a reminder of my former coolness.

A Little Bit Better

2009-12-17T05:49:00.008-06:00

My sweet friends, I just wanted to jump on the computer, to thank you for your kind comments and prayers, and to let you know that I'm doing a bit better. My biggest complaint is that I'm still having difficulty breathing at times, especially when overcome by coughing fits. I've been diligently using the nebulizer every 4 hours, and it makes a big difference, though a temporary one.

My doctor also has me on azithromycin and a low dose of prednisone, to calm the inflammation in my lungs. I believe that all of these things are helping, just not as quickly as I'd hoped. I was supposed to meet with my midwife at her house on Friday, but she said that she'll come here instead, because she doesn't want me to go out in the cold and exhaust myself. Right now, just getting to the bathroom and back to the couch feels like a major feat.

My wonderful husband has been caring for me, and he doesn't allow me to lift a finger. He knew that the state of the house was a discouragement to me, so yesterday he gave the kitchen the most thorough cleaning it's had all year. He even took the knobs off the stove and cleaned them! It looks great, and it does my heart good. Today he plans to tackle the living room, and he's also been taking care of all the meals and laundry. What a great blessing he is!

I've been trying to make good use of my couch time by working on paperwork in between my numerous naps. Yesterday my husband brought in the huge basket of papers from the kitchen counter, and my portable file box, and put them on the coffee table. I got all of my filing done, paid some bills, and balanced all of our accounts. I find that if I don't feel useful, I end up getting depressed, so it's good for me to keep myself occupied. One of the big highlights of each day is when my husband brings in the mail, and I get to open all of your Christmas cards. I'm so enjoying reading all of your letters, seeing your faces, and admiring your adorable children.

My children worry when I'm sick, so they've been unusually sweet and helpful. Cakes insists on rubbing lotion on my feet and legs, because I complained that they felt itchy and dry. The problem is, she uses very little restraint with the lotion, so I usually feel like a greased pig afterwards. But she's so sweet and earnest that I let her do it anyway. The kids insisted that I open two of my Christmas presents early, because they thought they might help me feel better. Bee gave me the Looney Tunes Golden Collection on DVD so I would have entertainment (I loved the Looney Tunes cartoons as a kid, and still do. They crack me up!), and Cakes gave me 2 pairs of pink fleece socks, to keep my feet warm. She was incredibly proud of them, and as soon as she handed the package to me, she said, "Here's your present Mommy. It's socks! They're so cozy."

Cakes doesn't understand the surprise element of gift-giving.

Yesterday afternoon, I was sitting on the couch, wearing long underwear and a huge t-shirt (I can't get any of my pajamas to fit anymore), with my somewhat oily hair half up and half down, wheezing my way through a nebulizer treatment, and my husband came in and got down on one knee in front of me.

He looked me right in the eye and said, "Hi gorgeous." I snorted in response, as if to say "Yeah right, I look sooooo good right now." He replied, "Well, I think you're a knock-out."

So you see, it's true that love is blind.

Update on Heather

2009-12-15T16:33:00.005-06:00

Hello blog friends of Heather,

In the past few days, Heather thought she was coming down with something. She was right. She has been congested and short of breath in the past 24-48 hours. Last night, the situation worsened and she was having much difficulty breathing. Her temperature rose to 99.5 F. I rented a nebulizer for her last night, and she got some relief. Unfortunately, the situation worsened this morning.

A trip to the doctor revealed the need for medications to help her breathe and fight off infection. Her blood/oxygen level was still at 98 (good), however her resting pulse rate is in the mid 120s (not so good). She has no wind, no energy, and a very quiet voice that is difficult to hear. Her breathing flow meter peaks at half of normal, and fits of coughing overcome her at times. The doctor said that she should not be left unattended, in the event of an asthma attack that is beyond the aid of her rescue inhaler.

I've transferred my work schedule to another appraiser so that I can look after her. The doctor says that our readiness to make a trip to the hospital is of utmost importance, in the event that the situation worsens. The medications are giving her some relief, and may correct the situation within days. Until then, I'm sure you won't be hearing much from her. Please keep her in your prayers for speedy recovery, and for little DJ to have a healthy delivery whenever the Lord sees fit.

In God's care, Heather's DH

"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us - they help us learn to endure. And endurance develops strength of character in us, and character strengthens our confident expectation of salvation. And this expectation will not disappoint us. For we know how dearly God loves us, because He has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love". Romans 5:3-5

A Bad Start

2009-12-14T08:38:00.003-06:00

I was up half the night with terrible dreams, and then I overslept this morning, so I had 15 minutes to get Bee ready for school. I basically woke her up, shoved clothes in her hands, and then ran into the kitchen to throw together her lunch. My husband was driving her to school, so I plunked her snow hat on her head and shoved a toaster waffle in her hand as she walked out the door. Not a very good way for either of us to start our week, but she made it to school on time.

Despite being rushed, Bee was gleeful this morning, because 3 of her 5 toys sold on eBay last night for $36.98 - far better than she could ever do at a garage sale. After fees she made $30.31, which is more than enough to buy a ballerina outfit for her American Girl. Her big item, Butterfly Island, didn't sell on Buy It Now, so it's been relisted as an auction with a low starting bid, if anyone is interested in My Little Pony stuff for Christmas. (Bee's Auctions)

I'm alarmed this morning because something bad is brewing in my chest. I've miraculously escaped respiratory illness so far, which is unusual for me, but today it feels like I'm going to get sick. But I can't! I still have so much to do to get ready for the baby. Today I need to change bedding and clean bathrooms - two chores I've let slide lately - and also get through a huge pile of papers that is building up on the kitchen counter. I finished Christmas shopping over the weekend, and got all the presents wrapped and under the tree, and yesterday I made Christmas cookies with the girls, but I find that I get worn out so easily now. How am I going to do it all?

Friends, how did you cope with housework during your last weeks of pregnancy? I'm not independently wealthy, so unfortunately a maid is out of the question. However, because we're having a home birth, part of our responsibility is to make sure the house is clean (particularly bathrooms, kitchen, and bedroom) and uncluttered. I fear I will never catch up.

34 Week Tummy Shot

2009-12-13T16:24:00.004-06:00

My husband snapped this picture of me this morning, while I was getting ready for church. I practically live in this maternity dress now, because it's the only somewhat dressy item of clothing I have that still fits!

I am truly astonished at the size of my nose in this picture, but I'm encouraged because so many of you have mentioned that your noses got bigger during pregnancy too, and returned to normal after the baby was born. Right? RIGHT?!

Getting Ready

2009-12-12T19:37:00.004-06:00

Today I did a stupid thing. I went to Wal-Mart.

Wal-Mart on Saturday is never a good thing, but Wal-Mart on Saturday during the holiday shopping season is a total nightmare. I needed a few groceries, and I wanted to buy one last Christmas present, but about halfway through my list I was nearly in tears. I was feeling terrible pressure on my bladder, and so crampy and sore that I could hardly walk.

My husband and the girls were shopping too (for me...cute!) and they took their stuff to the car and then came to help me. By the time I got in the car, I was in tears from the pain. When we got home, I rested on the couch, but I just haven't felt right all day, so I looked up prelabor symptoms. I have 5 out of 8, and according to the Mayo Clinic, this means that labor is probably 2-4 weeks away. I started the 34th week today, so that would put me right at term. My body is definitely getting ready for the big event.

I told my husband this, and he got so adorably nervous. He's outside right now, changing oil in the van, and he's been diligently doing laundry all afternoon. He even asked me if I thought he should stay up tonight and get all of his work caught up?

I told him that the baby isn't coming tonight, so I think he should calm down and not worry. But how cute is that? It's kind of like in the movies when the woman goes into labor, and the husband gets so flustered that he takes off in the car with the suitcase, leaving her behind.

I must confess that I'm just really starting to want this child out, and if I ever had any doubts that he was a boy, they're pretty much gone now. All of the weird changes in my body are a good indicator, but also...the kid kicks like a boy. Sometimes it really hurts, and occasionally he gets to wiggling so vigorously that my entire abdomen shakes back and forth. Last night, I was resting on my side, with the TV remote balanced on my huge tummy, and he kicked it right off!

I have a feeling that raising a little boy is going to be an amazing adventure.

Last night was our date night, and my husband and I took advantage of the child-free time, and stopped at Target to get the girls' Santa present. As always, when we walked into the store, I set the alarm off. I say "as always" because for some unknown reason, since becoming pregnant, I set the alarm off at every single Target store I go to. This has happened 4 times now at 3 different stores, and I joked to my husband that the alarm system must be a "baby detector."

Seriously though, it's so weird. The first time it happened, the security guy came and checked me over, and he couldn't figure out what was causing it to happen. I had no handbag or belt with a buckle, no metal anywhere really, and nothing else that would typically set the alarm off. He asked if I was wearing or carrying anything "new," and I pointed to my belly. "Just this," I joked.

He stared at my midsection for a minute, and said, in all seriousness, "No, I don't think that's it."

I'm not so sure anymore.

Holiday Frugality

2009-12-11T08:39:00.011-06:00

First, for those who were interested in browsing my eBay auctions, they're now up:

My eBay Auctions

I'm doing an experiment with the Butterfly Island Adventure play set and My Little Pony lot, because that set is discontinued and seems to have very high resale value on eBay, especially when it's complete, as ours is. If it doesn't sell on Buy it Now or Best Offer by Sunday, I'll relist it in auction format. I'm hoping to get as much money as possible for Bee, who has already "estimated her earnings" (her words):

My little money mogul. Maybe someday she'll have a job on CNN, advising people on consumer issues or something, like Clark Howard.

She's back at school today and I'm glad, because she was getting bored, and I was tired of listening to her bicker with Cakes. They did go outside yesterday afternoon, but they didn't last long:

Of course, after I bundled Cakes up until she looked like a tick about to pop, she was back at the door after only 5 minutes, wanting to come in. Bee lasted about a half hour. It was just so cold. This morning, temps are below zero, but no more snowfall is expected, thank goodness!

Now, with Christmas rapidly approaching (only 2 weeks away!), I wanted to answer this question from Amy:

"How about how you do your girls' and your husband's Christmas stockings. I am looking for some more frugal ideas for this since stockings can get expensive very quickly. This year my son's will be filled with Mega Blocks I got from a garage sale this summer. He'll be 11 months old this Christmas and I think he's going to have more fun with the boxes and wrapping paper than anything else."

Because Amy's son is so little, her idea to fill his stocking with garage sale-purchased Mega blocks is a great one! He's not going to know the difference anyway. However, even for older children, garage sales can be a great source of stocking fillers. Which brings me to a subject that I've long wanted to address in regard to gift giving - used versus new.

Many people think that gifts must always be new, and this is something I don't understand. A couple of years ago, I actually heard on our local Christian radio station that "regifting," even if you have something that someone else genuinely wants or needs, is a "sin." But why? It was never explained. My husband and I were so shocked that we actually called the radio station to complain. Apparently we weren't the only ones, because that little message didn't even last the holiday season, and we've never heard it since.

Now, I'm not advocating that you just pawn off any old thing you have laying around and are tired of. All gift giving should be done with care and real thought as to who the recipient is, and what they enjoy. If not, then why bother? What's the point? Also, I agree that some things are truly better new (underwear and bras come to mind), but most things, particularly toys and books, are just as good if purchased used. For example, I bought a set of 4 Hannah Montana paperback books at a consignment store for Bee's birthday. I got all 4 for the price of one new one, and they were in excellent condition. Bee loved them! But when I mentioned this to an acquaintance, who believes that everything must be all new, bigger and better, she expressed shock that I would give my child used books as a gift.

I didn't say anything at the time, but I'm shocked that she would pay $15.96 for something she could buy used for $3.19. But whatever. I'm shocked at most of her spending, to be perfectly honest.

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make here is that I've given my children many used items as gifts, usually because they wanted an expensive toy, and I was able to find a good quality used one for significantly less money. They've never noticed or cared, because my husband and I have never given them the impression that used equals bad. In the summer, we regularly take them garage-saling, and we give them a small allowance to spend (a couple bucks). They're thrilled with how much great stuff they can buy for so little money, and the fact that it once belonged to someone else is irrelevant to them. Children follow their parents' example.

I also want to talk a little bit about how my husband and I exchange gifts. Often, we don't. We exchange cards on our anniversary and Valentine's Day (and usually chocolate, because we're both addicted), but we rarely buy each other elaborate gifts, and sometimes we agree to purchase no gifts for each other. We don't do this simply because we're frugal (though that's part of it), but honestly, it's usually because we just can't think of anything we want or need. We're content just as we are.

We always feel like an anomaly, because we aren't interested in owning a Wii, a smart phone, a huge, flat screen, LCD television or any of the other expensive adult "toys" being so aggressively marketed this holiday season. For so many years, we had too much stuff, and after working for 7 years to achieve a simple life, stuff doesn't hold much appeal for us anymore.

Like all parents, we enjoy giving our children gifts, but as I've mentioned previously, we do so on a limited scale, because we want our kids to remember that Christmas is a holiday because of Christ - not presents. To fill their stockings, I often buy things the previous year on clearance, and store them in my gift box under the basement stairs. I do this for Valentine's Day and Easter also. Last year I bought small Christmas ornaments (Hannah Montana for Bee, Disney Princess for Cakes), Christmas-patterned socks, and Christmas stickers and pencils - all at 75% off. I'll supplement these items with a new "character" toothbrush (purchased with coupon), and some Christmas candy.

This year, I'm also going to give my girls homemade "coupons" for a special outing, or just for "Mom Time." I've made these for my husband several times, and he enjoyed "redeeming" them throughout the year. Especially the, er....saucy ones. One of the best things about men is that they're really very simple creatures. It doesn't take much to make them happy.

Many parents don't realize that children are much the same way. Often time, love and attention are better than any other gift you can give them.

Age-Appropriate Chores for Kids

2009-12-10T07:02:00.010-06:00

A reader asked, after I posted about our chore checklist place mats, about the types of chores that I assign to my children, who are ages 7 and 3. Before I answer that question, I just want to say holy cow! It's freezing here. This ice build-up is on the inside of our patio door:

My thermometer says that it's a whole 7 degrees outside, and the kids don't have school again, because it snowed all day yesterday. It appears that we got at least a foot of snow, and I'm worried about my poor husband, who has to go out this morning to look at houses. He's wearing his boots and long underwear, but still...it's cold!

I'm wondering what on earth I'm going to do to keep my kids occupied today. Yesterday, we spent a large part of the day thoroughly cleaning and organizing the playroom, and then we made a chocolate pudding cake, and a batch of pizza dough so we could have individual pizzas for supper. But what to do today? I think it's way too cold to send them outside, though I'm sure they'll object to that. Any ideas?

Anyway, moving on to chores. We start encouraging our children to help around the house after their second birthdays, by giving them simple chores, and the guidance they need to complete them. For example, at age 3, Cakes has these responsibilities:

□ Put laundry in hamper
□ Put away toys in basket (this refers to her labeled basket in our living room, which is a temporary home for stuff left laying around)
□ Help tidy room
□ Help clean up playroom

She also likes to help with other things, like dusting, but this isn't part of her regular routine. Ordinarily, she doesn't take initiative and do her chores independently - we have to prod her along and keep her focused, because she's very easily distracted. This is typical for a three-year-old, and her concentration will improve as she gets older.

At age 7, Bee has the ability to take responsibility, and she does fairly well, as long as she has her checklist as a reminder of what she needs to do. Her chores are:

Morning
□ Brush teeth

After School
□ Hang up coat and backpack
□ Shoes on mat
□ Homework
□ Reading and vocabulary

After supper
□ Clear table
□ Wipe table
□ Sweep under table
□ Put away toys in basket

Bedtime
□ Brush teeth
□ Laundry in hamper

Saturday
□ Put away toys in basket
□ Tidy room
□ Clean up playroom

As you see, her chores don't involve scrubbing toilets or floors. Instead we give her tasks that focus on responsibility for herself, her schoolwork, and her things. This is a good way to work up to chores that help maintain the household for the whole family. She already has a few of these on her list - clearing and wiping the table after supper, and sweeping up - and she seems to enjoy them.

I mentioned yesterday that we give our children an allowance when they start school, based on their grade - 50 cents/week in kindergarten, $1 in first grade, etc. However, I want to emphasize that we don't pay our children for doing their regular chores, because they are expected to contribute, as members of our family. We might pay them to do extra chores, above and beyond their usual responsibilities (for example, my husband paid Bee to pick up brick chips this summer, after our old chimney was knocked down), but we give them an allowance simply to teach them about financial responsibility, and we have no qualms about witholding allowance if they've been disobedient, irresponsible, or defiant.

It's been my experience that most children at this age like helping around the house, and we should take the opportunity to train them for the future, while they're still willing to learn!

The Weather Outside is Frightful

2009-12-09T09:19:00.009-06:00

The kids got out of school early yesterday because of snow, and they played and played outside for hours, which is good because they won't be going out today. We're experiencing 60-mile-per-hour winds, and when I look out our back window, the neighborhood and highway have the appearance of a ghost town.

It's really not fit for man nor beast out there. It's so cold that our patio door is completely frozen shut. I'm not sure how many inches of snow we got, but I'm guessing it's a lot, because the girls left their sled in the backyard yesterday, and this morning it's completely buried somewhere. I'm thanking God because my husband has no houses to measure and photograph today, so he'll be home working on reports, safe and warm with us. Also, we knew that this was coming, so yesterday I made a run to the store to stock up on milk, juice, and a few other essentials that we were running low on. We don't have to go anywhere now.

Ahhhh....winter in the Midwest. It's delightful.

The kids are going to watch Christmas movies and have popcorn this afternoon, but this morning, Bee has asked me to help her go through some toys in the playroom. We do this about once a year, because Bee has quite an entrepreneurial spirit. She comes by this honestly, because my husband was the same way as a child. He had newspaper routes, did bike repairs, and sold earthworms, and those of you who read his guest posts will remember that he opened his business and bought his first rental property when he was only 19!

Bee is always thinking of ways to earn money. When she was five, she sold cookies and lemonade at our garage sale, but her favorite way to earn money is to sell stuff. I started this with her when she was only four, because she wanted a "My Little Pony" castle. Being so little, she had no way to earn money, and we don't give our children an allowance until they start school (we "pay their grade"). It was March, and Christmas and her birthday were a long way off, so I told her that if she was willing to part with some of her toys that she no longer played with, I would put them on eBay for her, and she could have the money. She earned more than enough to buy a used pony castle, which included a lot of 6 ponies, and she was beyond thrilled!

Now she has her eye on several items in the American Girl catalog, and she has been diligently saving her money (she has $18.92 in her piggy bank). She also checked out a kids' book at the library about saving and budgeting her allowance, and she made a budget on a piece of paper. It was so cute, and I was going to scan it for you, but Cakes scribbled all over it (typical).

It basically went like this:

Allowance - $1
Save - $1

She's going to save 100% of her income! Of course, she has no living expenses, but still - an admirable goal for a 7-year-old.

Because she's working so hard to save money, I again offered to sell some things for her, and she happily agreed. I do have an ulterior motive, because when she sells stuff, there is a significant side benefit for me. Decluttering and selling things regularly helps keep the toy mess under control, and the playroom neat. With Christmas and the baby coming, I'm anxious to get the house as clean and orderly as possible, because I know how hectic and exhausting those first few postpartum months are.

I don't know about you, but I get very tired of little plastic toys. Sometimes, I feel like I'm drowning in tiny Polly Pocket shoes, Barbie purses, and pony hairbrushes.

The Truth About Santa

2009-12-08T07:30:00.003-06:00

Last week, Bee was leaning over my shoulder while I looked up a recipe online, and she saw a poll on one of the sites I frequent. The question was, "When your kids asked if Santa was real, did you lie?"

Suddenly, Bee just blurted out, "Mom, is Santa real? Because some people say he isn't."

I always promised Bee that she could ask me anything, and I would tell her the truth. So, she and I went to the History Channel web site, and we looked up the history of St. Nicholas. I stressed that Santa Claus (Sinter Klaas) was in fact a real person. He was a Christian monk who helped the poor and needy because of his deep love for God. I then explained that Santa Claus as we think of him is just make believe, but the spirit of generosity and selfless giving that he represents is very real. It exists in the hearts of parents, and anyone else who loves children. I told her that her Daddy and I pretend to be Santa because it's fun and exciting for her, and because we love her and enjoy giving her gifts that make her happy. I took this opportunity to explain that the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny are also fictitious.

She seemed a bit surprised, but not the least bit upset. In fact, she's very excited to be in on our secret, and she's eager to keep the Santa legend alive for Cakes.

Some Christians believe that Santa Claus detracts from the religious origins of Christmas, and that it's unethical for parents to perpetuate such an elaborate lie. I don't agree. My attitude about Santa is similar to my attitude about Halloween - children are exposed to the Santa legend everywhere in this world, and rather than rejecting it outright, I chose to incorporate it into our Christmas celebration in a very minimal way. My children absolutely understand the real meaning of Christmas, and we spend far more time talking about Jesus at Christmas time than we do Santa. We make a birthday cake for Jesus, and teach the nativity story, because those things are most important to us. Also, Santa doesn't bring elaborate or expensive gifts - only small treasures and stocking stuffers - because we try to keep the focus off material things.

I don't think there is anything wrong with teaching children the Santa legend, as long as gifts and materialism don't become the primary focus of your holiday. Also, I believe it's very important to tell children the truth when they ask about the reality of Santa. When I explained the motivation behind our perpetuation of the Santa legend, Bee actually threw her arms around me and squeezed me tight. She understood that we were motivated by love for her, and she knows that she can trust us.

Most importantly, Santa should not be made into a God-like figure. We shouldn't tell our children that Santa can see them all the time, and knows if they're good or bad, because that is attributing God-like characteristics to him. We always tell our kids that Santa can only do what he does on Christmas Eve because of God's help (just like Noah's impossible task of getting all the animals into the ark), and that Santa loves God, and expresses that love by showing kindness to others. It works for us.

As with Halloween, I think that the choice to teach or not teach the Santa legend is a personal one, and neither choice is wrong or right. Each family must do what they believe to be right and best for them. We must not judge or condemn a Christian brother or sister who chooses to do something different than we do, for the Bible says,

"Therefore let no one act as your judge in regard to food or drink or in respect to a festival or a new moon or a Sabbath day-- 17 things which are a mere shadow of what is to come; but the substance belongs to Christ" (see Romans 14:3b, 5-6).

Miscellaneous Monday

2009-12-07T08:03:00.012-06:00

*Pliers - This morning, my husband got a pliers out to replace a piece on our kitchen faucet, and I gasped and feigned horror because, when Cakes was a tiny baby, I left her in his care so I could get groceries. When I returned, I found a onesie and a post-it on the kitchen table, with the message "I ruined this onesie," accompanied by a frowning face. I went to find my husband, and he explained that he couldn't get the snap to work, and he got so frustrated that he tried to force it to work with his pliers. He then figured out that he had been attempting to snap the onesie to her sleeper, instead of to itself. Men are so funny! If something doesn't go their way, they figure either brute force or a tool ought to take care of it. I teased my husband about how he's dangerous with pliers, and asked if we need to go over how onesies work before DJ is born. He thinks he can handle it.

*Pregnancy stuff - I'm now in my 33rd week! I think DJ might have moved down, because every now and then, I suddenly feel horrible pressure on my bladder, and think, "Oh no! I'm going to pee my pants!" (I haven't yet, thank goodness). Also, the pain in my rib cage was better over the weekend. My only complaints now are my inability to sleep, and lack of appetite. I don't want to eat much of anything, because nothing appeals to me. Cooking is becoming a real challenge, because I don't feel hungry, so I can't decide what to make. Do you think it's normal to not be hungry at this stage?

*Nesting - I'm starting to feel that inner drive to get stuff done. I've been working, little by little, on cleaning and decluttering. Over the weekend, my husband even helped me clean the oven, which I despise. We used the fume free cleaner, which still has fumes, by the way, but he did the dirty work so I wouldn't have to breathe them. I took care of the grates and drip pans. I soaked them in the bathtub overnight with a cup of powdered dishwasher detergent, in just enough hot water to cover. The gunk literally floated right away. Easy peasy!

*Reading - I just finished "The Knitting Circle," by Ann Hood, and "Garden Spells," by Sarah Addison Allen (second time through). Now I'm starting on "Mercy," by Jody Picoult. I have lots of time to read, because I wake up every single morning around 3:30 AM, usually because I have searing heartburn, or DJ is having gymnastics class in my uterus, and then I read until I'm able to fall asleep again.

*Christmas party - It was fine, but there was a woman there who is due about a week after me, and she's one of those very cute, teeny-tiny women who doesn't look pregnant at all until she turns to the side. Next to her, I look like I'm carrying 5 or 6 babies. Of course, one of my husband's co-workers kept insisting, "Let's have Ashley and Heather compare bellies!" I refused. Also, at every one of these events, another co-worker, who seems to have a strange fascination with the fact that my husband married a woman who is 15 years his junior, loves to make little comments to people, like, "He's old enough to be her father!" I'm going to chalk it up to pregnancy, but I finally got sick of it, so I took him aside and said, "I know you just love to call attention to our age difference, but I just wanted to point out that I'm going to be 36 this month. Perhaps you're confused, but I'm not 14 or anything. I'm of legal age." He had nothing to say to that, but he did keep his mouth shut for the rest of the night.

*Dueling piano bar - This wasn't really my thing, although I did find some parts of it amusing. For example, the very loud, obnoxious, female piano player did a rendition of "The Age of Aquarius," to embarrass this poor guy on his birthday. It was called "His Scary Hairy Ass." It was really quite funny, but I'm just not a bar type of person. I did enjoy spending some time alone with my husband though.

*Date night - On Friday, our church is offering free dinner and child care for kids, so parents can go out alone from 6:00 until 10:00. They do this every year, but we didn't take advantage of it last year because Cakes was still scared to be left in the nursery. This year, we signed up! We haven't decided what we're going to do yet, but I'm looking forward to it.

*Snow - We had just a light dusting last night, but we're supposed to get more over the next three days, with a high temp at only 30 degrees! The kids are excited. I'm not.

*Plans for today:

-Type up a few eBay auctions
-Clean both bathrooms
-Work on basement
-Get stuff ready for consignment store
-Bee's Christmas concert tonight!

Of course, I'll probably not get anything actually finished, because my pattern lately is work 15 minutes, rest 30 minutes, but at least I'll know I tried.

Have a great Monday everybody!

A Quick Note...

2009-12-04T14:43:00.005-06:00

To say that if you're participating in my Christmas card exchange, my cards went out yesterday, so you should have them in a couple of days.

Also, tonight is my husband's company Christmas party, and I wanted to ask, am I the only one who feels like a giant dork at stuff like that? Maybe I'm just really bad at small talk, or maybe I'm just pregnant and crabby, but I'm anticipating all kinds of comments, like, "Haven't you had that baby yet?" and "Are you sure there isn't two in there?"

Ugh.

The party is at a "dueling piano bar," and I don't even know what that is. However, my husband assures me that there will be a huge spread, including cheesecake, so I'll just park myself by the buffet table and feed my face. Also, it is a child-free date night, which doesn't happen very often.

On an unrelated note, my husband and I have taken to calling each other "babe," because of this episode of "The Office."

Those of you who watch "The Office" obsessively, and have every episode on DVD, as we do, will remember that Michael and Jan called each other "babe" repeatedly all night long, even though it was pretty obvious that they couldn't stand each other.

We just do it because it's hilarious. Clearly, we need to get out more.

She's So Over It

2009-12-04T07:48:00.009-06:00

Cakes took longer to potty-train than Bee, but once she started, she trained much faster. In about 8 weeks, Cakes has gone from telling us, whenever we asked her, that she would use the potty "on Monday," to going "pretend potty," to actually peeing in the potty.

Then we had the poopie obstacle, which she seems to have overcome, but she refused to sit on the big toilet because she was afraid she would fall in. We were fine with that, though I was getting pretty tired of cleaning out the potty chair 10 times every day. Still, a small price to pay for no more diapers.

Yesterday, I heard Cakes rummaging around in the bathroom, so I went to investigate (one must always investigate when Cakes is making noise. Or when she's quiet. Basically, it's best to not let her out of your sight at any time). When I walked in the bathroom, she was proudly sitting on the toilet. She had gotten the little potty seat with handles, which fits right on the toilet seat, out of the closet, and she put the stepstool that I always use (because I'm too short to reach my closet shelves) in front of the toilet so she could climb up on her own. When she saw me, she exclaimed, "MOM! I'm going potty in the big potty!"

I applauded, and (attempted to) jump up and down, and made a really big deal over it. I said, "Well, I guess you don't need that old potty chair anymore." Cakes agreed that she could use the big potty now, so we should clean the potty chair up and put it away for DJ. I took the insert out so I could wash and disinfect it, but as always lately, I got distracted and forgot about it. When I finally got around to cleaning it later in the afternoon, and went to the bathroom to put it back, the potty chair was nowhere to be found.

I found Cakes in the living room, wearing pajamas (she had been dressed in actual clothes earlier, but she changed because she has an obsession with PJs lately), and sitting under the Christmas tree with a book. "Cakes?" I asked, "Do you know where the potty chair is?"

"But Mommy, I don't meed the potty chair anymore," said Cakes. She still gets her Ms and Ns mixed up.

"I know that honey, but I can't find it," I replied.
"But I don't meed it!"
"I know you don't need it, but I still need to know where it is."
"But I'm a big girl now! I can go potty in the big toilet!"
"I know that honey! But I need the potty chair so I can put this back. See, I cleaned it all up for DJ."

Finally, she reluctantly got up and went down the hall. I followed her into DJ's room, where she opened the closet door, and there was the potty chair:

I tried very hard to suppress my amusement, because it was obvious that she was completely over that stinkin' potty chair. She wanted it out of her sight, which is why she put it in DJ's closet. She's done with it.

She is just the funniest kid - so headstrong and determined - and once she makes up her mind about something, there's no changing it. So, the potty chair has been exiled to the storage shed, and last night Cakes proudly demonstrated for Daddy how she can get on the big potty all by herself.

She's very proud...and so are we.

Why We Chose Home Birth

2009-12-03T08:34:00.018-06:00

I received an e-mail from a reader this morning, asking about the decision process that led up to our choice to deliver DJ at home. I'm happy to write about this, but I want to stress that the decision to birth at home is very personal, and requires much thought and research. If you're considering it, I encourage you to find a licensed, experienced midwife, and talk with her. She can tell you more about the risks and benefits, as well as what to expect, and help you decide if home birth is right for you.

I wanted a home birth for so many reasons, but the main reason is that this is my last baby, and I want to be in control of my labor, and give birth in a familiar, comfortable setting, without a whole lot of unnecessary medical intervention. When I delivered Bee, everything started out normally, but when I got to the hospital, they gave me such a strong epidural that I couldn't feel anything at all in the lower half of my body. After the epidural, they strapped me to a fetal monitor, and put me on my back in a hospital bed, which, as we all know, is not the most effective labor position. Then they thought that I wasn't progressing fast enough, so they gave me pitocin. When the time finally came to push, I was so numb that I couldn't even feel the contractions, so I couldn't push effectively. When Bee arrived, she was so sluggish from the medications that she didn't breathe right away, and had to be resuscitated. I also had a retained placenta which had to be manually removed (ouch!), and I've since learned that many cases of retained placenta are a direct result of pitocin, which produces such strong contractions that the placenta is torn from the uterine wall before it's ready to be delivered, leaving fragments behind that can cause hemmorhage. The next morning, I was very sick from the anesthesia, and vomited so much that I was too weak and exhausted to even hold my baby.

In contrast, my labor with Cakes was a piece of, well...cake. In this case, the epidural didn't take, which turned out to be a blessing, because I could actually feel the contractions, and push accordingly. I had a smoother, shorter labor, a healthy, screaming baby, and within about six hours, I was up and around and felt well enough to go home.

My point is that the labor and delivery that involved the least amount of medical intervention was the most positive one for me, and I think that the ideal place to welcome a baby into the world is in the home. However, I know that in the U.S. this view is not widely accepted, because people have the perception that home birth is "unsafe," despite the fact that there is absolutely no evidence to support that theory. In fact, Lamaze International has an excellent article, which argues that hospital birth is not as safe as we are led to believe. In the U.S., where 99 percent of all births take place in a hospital setting, the neonatal death rate is higher than in 35 other countries. In 2006, The World Health Organization ranked the U.S. 41st among developed countries for maternal mortality, and 29th for infant mortality. I don't know about you, but I find that pretty alarming.

In response to the question, "Is Home Birth Safe?" the article says:

"For most women with low-risk pregnancies, birth outside the hospital is as safe as—or safer than—hospital birth. The medical attitude of expecting trouble during birth, and the hospital policies that support this attitude, prevent women from giving birth easily and safely in the typical hospital. Routine medical interventions used at hospitals interfere with the natural process of birth and present unnecessary risks that can harm you and your baby. Home is where most women feel safest and comfortable. At home, there are no routine restrictions placed on a laboring woman, which make labor and birth more difficult. At home, you can choose your own caregivers, family and friends to support you, wear your own clothes, sleep in your own bed and eat your own food. Additionally, at home, there are no hospital-borne germs to endanger the health of you and your baby."

Please understand that I'm in no way trying to disparage hospitals or hospital care. I've had two delivery experiences in hospitals - one very negative, and one very positive - and I know that there are advantages and disadvantages in every situation. I'm just pointing out that hospital birth is not necessarily the best or only option for everyone.

My husband, who fears for my safety, was reluctant to consider home birth at first, but we did two things that put his mind at ease (now he's incredibly excited!)

1) We watched the documentary The Business of Being Born
which showed several home births, and also a scenario where a woman intended to give birth at home but needed to be transferred to the hospital.

2) We found a certified nurse midwife, and interviewed her. The initial consultation was free, and after talking with her, we felt completely at ease with the process.

The laws regarding home birth and midwifery practices are different in each state. In my state, home birth is legal, but it must be attended by a certified nurse midwife (CNM), and this was the most difficult part of the process. After much searching, I finally found my midwife through word of mouth (on a blog! See how valuable the blogosphere is?) However, she is also listed at Birth Partners, which is a great place to start if you're looking for natural childbirth options.

After I found Kathy, I set up a consultation, and met with her in her home. She talked with us for over an hour, and explained all of the factors that we needed to consider, including health conditions that would make home birth impossible. In the end, we decided that home birth was an option for us, because:

1) Our pregnancy is healthy and low risk.
2) I have already given birth twice, so I know what to expect, and I'm comfortable with the idea of laboring without pain relief.
3) We live in a town with an ambulance service, only 20 minutes from 2 large hospitals with neonatal intensive care units, in the event that something goes wrong.

Once we came to this decision, we felt very comfortable with our choice. Kathy is an independent CNM, and she has provided all of our prenatal care in her home. She has full prescription privileges, and has ordered all labwork and necessary tests, just as a doctor would, but the quality of care is completely different. Even if you decide against home birth, I highly recommend seeking prenatal care from a midwife. Kathy meets with us for an hour each time, and she really listens to our questions and concerns. I am completely calm and at ease with her, and this has been my healthiest pregnancy. My blood pressure is so unbelievably low - usually 116/70 - and this is unheard for me, because I usually have "white coat hypertension." With Kathy, I don't feel stressed, because I feel like I'm just talking with a friend. In fact, because I've developed such a strong bond with her, I've decided that I will continue seeing her for my well-woman care.

We're very excited about giving birth at home, and we plan on having a water birth in a birth pool. However, we're keeping a completely open mind. I think it's so important, if you're considering home birth, to remember that ultimately, your goal is to have a healthy baby, and a healthy mom. If a problem arises, and Kathy determines that the safest course of action would be for us to transfer to a hospital, we're prepared to do that.

Here are some great web sites, which can provide more information, and assist with finding a midwife:

Midwives Alliance of North America
American College of Nurse-Widwives
Mothers Naturally
American Pregnancy

Also, we ordered our birth supplies from a wonderful Christian company in Texas, called In His Hands. I'm sure there aren't many of you who are in the market for mesh panties right now, but I thought I would mention it for future reference :)

(Note: Angie asked about the cost difference between home birth and hospital birth. Our home birth, including all prenatal care, is $3450. In my state, the cost of delivering in the hospital, not including prenatal care, ranges from $5000-$8000. If you stay the recommended 48 hours in the hospital, the cost is around $11,000. Yikes!)

Our Birth Kit is Here!

2009-12-03T08:30:00.000-06:00

It seems silly to get excited about a periclens bottle and OB pads, but I was like a kid at Christmas when FedEx dropped off our birth supplies this afternoon.

Most of it is just standard necessities - mesh underpants (remember those? Oh so sexy.), sanitary napkins, the liner for the birth pool, gloves, cord clamp, etc, but there are also some little niceties, like herbal afterbirth bath, and homeopathic rescue remedy. Also, though it wasn't part of the kit required by our midwife, I couldn't resist this little shirt for my baby boy:

It's getting so close now! Only 58 days to go, according to my little ticker. Yesterday, I bought shower curtain liners (to protect the bed and floor), and Lansinoh disposable nursing pads, which I credit for literally saving my breastfeeding relationship with Bee. I always have an overabundant milk supply, and after Bee was born, I had no idea how to cope with it. I remember waking up one morning in a huge puddle, because milk had leaked through my bra and nightgown. I also had many mishaps while out in public. I had to stand in line at the post office with a blanket over my shoulder, to hide the huge milk stain that was spreading all over my shirt. It was so embarrassing, and I wanted to give up, but then I tried a free sample of Lansinoh that came with the stuff they gave me at the hospital, and what a difference! I could go out in public without fear again! I just wish they weren't so expensive - $8.18 for a 60-count box at Wal-Mart. An absolute necessity though, in my opinion.

I was talking to my husband about this issue last night, and he said that my overabundance is a good thing, because the men in his family "produce very thirsty babies."

Obviously we spend just way too much time watching "The Office."

How We're Teaching Our Children the Christmas Story

2009-12-02T08:21:00.017-06:00

My husband started something fun with the girls this morning. He's going to teach them the Christmas story, using their little Nativity Scene, which my Mom-in-law bought for them at a garage sale:

Right now, the stable is the only piece that is set up,

but over the next 10 days, he will read appropriate verses from Bee's study Bible, and introduce the characters. This is his reading plan:

1) A Savior King is promised - Isaiah 7:14; 9:6-7, Jeremiah 23:5; Micah 5:2-5a
2) The angel visits Mary - Luke 1:26-38 (introduction of the angel and Mary)
3) The angel visits Joseph - Matthew 1:18-25 (introduction of Joseph)
4) The trip to Bethlehem and stable lodging - Luke 2:1-7 (introduction of stable animals)
5) The Christ child is born - Luke 2:8-14 (introduction of the baby Jesus)
6) The angels visit the shepherds - Luke 2:8-14
7) The shepherds visit the manger - Luke 2:15-18 (introduction of the shepherd and sheep)
8) The wise men travel to Jerusalem - Matthew 2:1-8
9) The wise men worship the Christ child - Matthew 2:9-12 (introduction of the wise men)
10) The trip to Egypt - Matthew 2:13-15

At this point, the entire Nativity scene will be complete. My husband got the idea for this activity at his men's Bible study group, through Bible Study Fellowship (BSF). I also attended BSF for 2 years, my second year in children's leadership, and I encouraged my husband to go. Since then, his love for the word of God has grown and his faith has strengthened. He studies his Bible every morning, and he has now memorized many verses of Scripture. He decided that he wanted to take the initiative to instruct the children about the Christmas story, because it's his responsibility to take the spiritual lead in our household. I'm so incredibly proud of him! He is open to God's leading, and God is doing amazing work through him.

The Christmas story is an excellent example of many Biblical truths that we can reinforce with our children:

-Long ago, God promised to send a Savior, who would be born in Bethlehem. God kept that promise.
-God always keeps his promises.
-God shows people how to find Jesus
-God knows what is best for his people.

I think this will be a fun and engaging way to make it clear to the girls that Christ is the reason we celebrate Christmas - it's much more than just a festive holiday with twinkly lights and presents. So many people in the world today see Christmas as nothing more than an excuse to shop and overeat, and we feel that it's our job, as Christian parents, to help our children look past all that, to the real meaning of the holiday.

I told my husband not to be surprised if this activity makes the kids want to play with the Nativity scene more, which, in the case of Cakes, will result in broken pieces. He isn't terribly concerned, because he did the same thing as a child, and the result is a hilarious memory for him and our whole family. Remember this sheep?

When he was little, my husband was playing with the sheep, and he accidentally broke its foot. He glued one of his lost teeth in its place, in the hope that his parents wouldn't notice. His parents gave him the set, and the girls laugh at Daddy's antics every year when we unpack it.

Thanks to everyone who is participating in the Christmas card exchange! All of my surplus cards are now spoken for, and I'm so looking forward to receiving all of your cards and letters! What a blessed Christmas season our family will have :)

A couple of you e-mailed me with concern about my overambitious to-do list yesterday, because you felt that I was overdoing it, and, as it turns out, you were right. I did accomplish all of my goals, but I paid for it last night, when I was so exhausted that I had trouble eating. I was also up half the night with excruciating back pain, so....I won't be doing anything like that again. It's time for me to accept that I need to just slow down. The problem is, I feel like I've been moving at a snail's pace for the last 7 months!

One of yesterday's errands was to the post office, and of course, Cakes had to go potty. There is no public restroom at the post office, but one of the ladies behind the counter took a shine to Cakes (as often happens), and she let us behind the counter to use the employee restroom. Cakie said that her tummy hurt, so I encouraged her to try to do poopie (she's been doing much better at that - thank the Lord!), so she made a big, overly dramatic show of it for a while, but nothing happened. When we came back out, the postal clerk waved to us, and Cakes yelled, as loud as possible, "Oh hi! I can't go poop right now!"

There were about 6 people waiting in line, and they, along with all the clerks behind the counter, busted up laughing. I turned 15 shades of red, and rushed Cakes out to the van, while explaining that there are some things we should keep to ourselves because they're private. This clearly went over Cakie's head, because she responded, "Well, I can't go poop right now. It's true!"

Ahhh, kids. Their honesty is so, er...refreshing.

My Plans for the Day

2009-12-01T08:07:00.005-06:00

This morning I'm getting a badly needed haircut. My bangs grow so quickly that I look like a sheepdog if I don't get them cut every 4 weeks.

After that I must do the following:

-Pick up birthday gift for my Dad
-Return stuff at Staples, and have copies made
-Drop off a donation for the food pantry
-Return library books
-Drop off mail at the post office and buy stamps
-Go to Bed Bath & Beyond to buy a Christmas gift before my coupon expires
-Go to Hallmark to search for "Pillow Pets" which both of my children have decided they would like for Christmas (stupid commercial television! I think these are ridiculously overpriced, but the kids can't seem to come up with anything else they want)
-Get groceries (oh yay)
-Return crappy photo prints to Target and complain, and also buy shower curtain liners, nursing pads, Gatorade, and other necessities for DJ's birth.

Those of you who've been with me for a long time will remember that for me, shopping ranks right up there with talking on the phone, so you can imagine my feelings about all of this. I'm not thrilled, especially since DJ still insists on thrusting his tiny little feet as far into my ribcage as they'll go. I've been trying some yoga poses to encourage him to move, but so far, he's unbelievably stubborn. He pushes so hard that my lungs feel like they won't expand completely, and wandering around a million stores while wheezing and puffing on my inhaler isn't really my idea of a good time.

I wanted to mention that I still have 5 Christmas cards left, so if there's anyone who would still like to participate in the exchange, please send me an e-mail with your address.

And now I'm off....wish me luck!

Christmas Contentment

2009-11-30T09:59:00.016-06:00

If you've been reading my blog for at least a year, you know all about my objection to the whole "Black Friday" thing. (I won't go into details, but if you're interested, you can read my post about it here). I'm even more dismayed this year because the insanity doesn't seem to be limited to Friday. My husband and I refuse to participate in "Black Friday," but this year we didn't venture into any store all weekend, because according to the local news, there were "special sales" every day, and the whole city was a zoo. This morning, I've been trying in vain for the last hour to log on to my Discover account so I can pay my bill, but I can't get onto the site. Rumor has it that it's down because of the flurry of "Cyber Monday" activity.

Gimme a break.

We were perfectly content to just stay home this weekend. My husband finished some projects, and I got our Christmas cards ready to mail, while watching "Lark Rise to Candleford," on PBS. I didn't worry about the great deals I was missing out on, or fret about giving my children "a Christmas as big as their imagination," like the Mom on the Wal-Mart commercial that drives me completely insane.

Bee asked if we could go to the mall and look around on Sunday, and I told her there was no way I was setting foot in the mall until all the craziness was over. She asked when that would be, and my husband said sarcastically, "Well, Monday is "Cyber Monday," and then there's "Terrific Tuesday," and after that it's "Wow, What a Sale! Wednesday," and then there's "Thank God It's Not Wednesday Anymore! Thursday," and then "Find a Great Deal! Friday," and it pretty much continues that way until after Christmas.

Poor Bee. I think she's worried that we'll never take her to the mall ever again.

To make her feel better, we did put up the Christmas tree last night. I snapped this picture this morning, because I thought it was so cute how both Bee and the cat seemed to be staring at the tree in awe.

A few weeks ago, Bee asked me, "Mom, what should I ask for for Christmas?"

I was so surprised by this question, because most kids have a Christmas list a mile long. I asked, "Well, what would you like, honey?" and she replied, "I don't know. I got everything I wanted for my birthday."

Now, Bee didn't get a giant truckload of presents for her birthday, because my husband and I have a strict $50 budget per kid for birthdays, and $100 for Christmas. For her birthday, Bee got a CD and DVD she wanted, a pair of new PJs, some books, and a board game. Nothing extravagant, and yet she can't think of anything she wants for Christmas. I'm proud of her ability, at age 7, to just be content with what she has.

Many years ago, before I even had children, I read an article in the The Complete Tightwad Gazetteabout the "Christmas Fulfillment Drama." This idea was originally written about by Joe Dominguez in his book, Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Achieving Financial Independence: Your Money or Your Life.

The theory is that when we spend money on the basics of survival, it gives us the greatest fulfillment for our dollar. We're fulfilled to a slightly lesser degree when we spend money on a few comforts and luxuries, but beyond this, as we continue to spend more and more on unnecessary stuff, our fulfillment peaks and begins to drop, so that no matter how much we spend, we still aren't happy.

Anyone who has lavished a small fortune on Christmas gifts for a child has probably witnessed this phenomena. The first few gifts are met with great excitement, but as the unwrapping continues, the greedy monster starts to rear its ugly head. I have personally witnessed children who, after opening a literal mountain of gifts, express disappointment. ("Is this all I got?") What upsets me even more is when a child receives a gift, and rudely says, "I didn't want this," or "This is dumb," right in front of the person who gave it to him/her! If one of my children ever behaved that way, I would insist that she apologize, and I would have no qualms about taking the unwanted gift away. In our house, lack of appreciation means lack of privileges, and we've taught our children to be gracious and appreciative of any gift, no matter how small.

In our effort to raise children who are thankful and fulfilled, my husband and I don't put much emphasis on gifts, on any occasion, and as a result, the kids don't either. This is not to say that they aren't excited to get presents, but whatever they receive, they're happy. When we begin to see evidence of an ungrateful attitude, we check it right away. Our children also know that they should never ask for anything in stores, from us, or anyone else. I was shocked when we had Bee's school friend over for a sleepover, and the child actually asked me to buy her a toy! Do parents not teach children basic manners anymore? Judging by the pushing, shoving, fistfights, theft, and other appalling behavior displayed by some adults on "Black Friday," all in the name of "precious stuff," the apple probably doesn't fall far from the tree.

Moving on to a much happier Christmas-themed subject....Christmas cards. This year, thanks to a tip from a lovely reader, I got 100 free photo Christmas cards, and I'm blessed with about 30 more than I need. I love to receive Christmas cards and letters, and I thought it would be really fun to exchange cards with my blog readers.

If you would like to exchange cards with me this year, please send me an e-mail with your mailing address. I sincerely wish I had enough for everyone, but since I don't, I'll exchange with the first 30 of you that I hear from (Janel in NJ, and Rachel H. in CA - I already have you on the list). YAY! I can't wait!

To Answer Your Questions...

2009-11-25T16:23:00.003-06:00

I wasn't planning to post until after the holiday, but I received some e-mail questions, and I wanted to answer them in case anyone else wanted recipes for Thanksgiving.

First, for those who are interested in my Thanksgiving cheese ball, and orange fluff salad recipes, I've posted them for you. Here are the links:

Orange Fluff

Thanksgiving Cheese Ball

I'm often asked where we got our portable kitchen island. We purchased it from ekitchenislands.com. They have a wide variety of styles and finishes, and at the time we purchased ours (3 years ago), shipping was free.

A local reader asked who my midwife is, and it occurred to me that since I had so much trouble finding a CNM here, other people are probably struggling too! If you're looking for a midwife who does home births, and you live in my area, feel free to e-mail me for details. I'm happy to send business Kathy's way, because she's been wonderful!

Speaking of Kathy, I just met with her yesterday, and we got instructions for ordering our home birth supplies. It's coming up so fast! I have another visit in 2 weeks, and after that, all of our visits will be home visits. We need to start preparing our home for the birth - cleaning, decluttering, stocking food and drinks, etc.

Which brings me to 3 prayer requests:

1) The baby is in a weird, posterior position right now, which explains the pain in my left rib cage. Kathy isn't worried yet, but if you could all please pray for him to move, so that I can breathe and eat normally again, I would be so appreciative!

2) Please pray for me to be calm. As the birth approaches, I find that I'm not exactly scared, but I am a bit nervous.

3) Since DJ will be born at the end of January, please pray for good weather. Living on the top of this hill means that ice and snow are a problem. It will be hard to have this baby if Kathy can't get up the hill!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Stuff I'm Thankful For

2009-11-24T07:30:00.008-06:00

1) My loving husband. When I think of him, I think of a line from a song by Train (one of my favorite bands), "I look around at what I've got, without you it ain't a lot, I've got everything....with you, everything."

(I was hugely pregnant with Cakes in this picture, and it appears that he was teasing me...but that's nothing new).

2) I don't have to cook Thanksgiving dinner this year! We're going together with my parents on a pre-cooked dinner from the grocery store. All I have to bring is my famous Thanksgiving cheese ball, and orange fluff salad. This makes me very happy, because I'm so tired and uncomfortable, due to this....

3) Giant, 31-weeks-pregnant tummy.

Look! My stomach is so huge that it provides a little shelf for my equally huge bosoms to rest on. See, you can always find the good in every situation, if you look hard enough. No seriously...I'm very thankful for this little boy, growing and kicking and squirming inside me. My long-time readers know that last year at this time, he seemed like an impossible dream. And while we're on the subject, I'm thankful for...

4) These little girls. They make life fun (and funny).

5) My Dad and Karen. It's at times like this, when I'm exhausted and irritable, when I realize just how much I rely on them for help and support, how much they do for us, how much they love our kids, and how much we all love them. I hope they don't ever decide to move away, because we would be lost without them.

6) Our friends and family. At this time of year, when so many people are sad and lonely, we are blessed to have people who care about us. This is no small thing, but it's something that many of us take for granted.

7) My husband's job security. In a year that has brought trials and hardships to so many, we've been fortunate. We thank God for this every day.

8) Milk. But you know that already. Sometimes it's the only thing that gets me through the day. I could be an advertisement for the Dairy Council.

9) Our church. I just found out that they have a meal service for new parents, and I signed up for it. After DJ is born, some kind soul will bring us food each night, for as long as we need it. Now we won't have to survive on Pop Tarts, granola bars, and lunch meat for a month, like we did after Cakes was born.

10) YOU. At a time when I was terribly discouraged, and thinking about giving up on this blog, you all came out of the woodwork in an outpouring of love and support. I was overwhelmed, and reminded of why I write. Thank you.

At church on Sunday, our pastor gave a sermon about gratitude. He explained that while gratitude doesn't come naturally to us as human beings, we can learn to be thankful if we make a habit of it. It just takes practice. He suggested that every day, not just on Thanksgiving, we should write on our calendar at least one good thing that happened. When we get in the habit of recognizing the good that God does in our lives, gratitude - instead of grumbling - becomes as natural as breathing.

I'm going to take this challenge. Will you?

This will be my last post until after the holiday. I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!