tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78200501632353994862009-07-05T13:59:45.636-05:00Midlife in the Midwest. The reflections of a British woman transplanted to the US.Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.comBlogger152125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7820050163235399486.post-57504836405722487242009-06-25T13:59:00.010-05:002009-06-25T14:19:35.201-05:00

It is part of the pressure of modern parenting, to be seen to be a good parent. Perhaps this isn’t entirely new, but certainly, these days, it is easy to feel we are being judged when we are in public with our children. There have been many occasions on which I’ve overheard a comment from a parent to a child, clearly designed with the audience of other parents in mind.A child is throwing food off

Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7820050163235399486.post-54786730898167294072009-06-24T21:34:00.018-05:002009-06-25T11:16:46.849-05:00

Cancer, the villain of the piece, is a thief.Cancer has already stolen my boobs. Soon my hair will be stolen too. I’m lucky. Neither are functional body parts. For other people, cancer steals away organs they need.Cancer has stolen the two-week holiday, carefully planned and much looked forward to, with grandparents, in Colorado, where the air is clean and fresh, and the mountains inspiring.

Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7820050163235399486.post-46754997393083078092009-06-21T20:54:00.012-05:002009-06-22T09:53:08.368-05:00

Oh, you lovely, crazy, imaginative people. I remember why I missed you so much. Who’d have thought that there were so many clever, inventive, funny advantages of a bilateral mastectomy? No, seriously. Who would have? And as for the Finish the Sentence competition. What did you all do with this abundance of creative overspill before blogging was invented? If you've got a mo, you should go back and

Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7820050163235399486.post-26273473057717816262009-06-12T20:33:00.002-05:002009-06-12T21:18:04.805-05:00

Enough already about the woes of being a Boobless Wonder. And it’s high time I enabled the comments again, because I’ve missed y’all. A blog without comments is like a fish without a bicycle.So here are a couple of competitions, to get you all back into the comments box. The first was inspired by my friend Fran, who encouragingly pointed out in an email one of the advantages of having a bilateral

Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.com44tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7820050163235399486.post-74052542797653727092009-06-08T10:09:00.012-05:002009-06-08T12:42:50.979-05:00

Look, I’m sorry to be going on and on about my boobs these days. I was going to say you’re all probably fed up to the back teeth with them, but that’s not a good mental image. The thing is, we’re all grown-ups here, and if you don’t want to read, you can just click away. It’s not like you have to nod politely and smile. I’m not actually talking at you. I mean, I haven’t even got the comments

Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7820050163235399486.post-10917816107388978552009-06-06T13:14:00.009-05:002009-06-06T14:00:19.932-05:00

Looks like they may find it easier to get rid of my breast cancer than my blogging addiction.Just thought you'd all like to know I'm through the surgery. Initial investigation showed that the cancer hadn't spread to the lymph nodes, although we won't know for sure for a few days, when the pathologists have had a chance to slice and dice the one node they took out.I was home after 24 hours. Have

Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7820050163235399486.post-28254859276211612682009-06-02T22:11:00.010-05:002009-06-02T22:47:31.544-05:00

I thought you'd like to see a picture of the cake. You know you would.We had a good time. I made my speech. We drew faces on the balloons, and wrote messages. And then we popped the lot, with great glee.Here's one that is reflecting the light-fitting above the dining room table. It looks suspiciously as if it's under the operating theatre lights. Gulp..

Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7820050163235399486.post-80402725385026630482009-06-02T02:32:00.005-05:002009-06-02T02:39:20.670-05:00

Tomorrow we’re having a Boobies Farewell Party. Just Husband, the children, me, and the two guests of honour.When someone dies, you have a funeral. When someone leaves, you have a farewell party. Big life events, sad ones as well as happy ones, need proper marking. It is important to do so. I want the children to have some positive memories of this summer, and this whole horrid chapter. I want

Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7820050163235399486.post-27982141806103659082009-05-31T18:53:00.005-05:002009-05-31T19:02:18.930-05:00

There are some casualties in terms of family life, of my surgery next Thursday. The first is that Husband will not go to give one of the keynote addresses at a conference. The conference is organized by a college in Ambridge, Pennsylvania, which has provided an almost limitless opportunity for me to indulge in humour of the “are you going to be talking about Tom Archer’s sausages?” variety. It’s

Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7820050163235399486.post-20770214008269052392009-05-30T13:25:00.005-05:002009-05-30T13:41:33.320-05:00

To me, the best moments in blogging are when someone says “you made me laugh” or “you made me cry”. It has occurred to me that there is no point in having a breast cancer diagnosis when you’re in your 40s with 3 children, if you can’t exploit it shamelessly for your own ends, and it should now be relatively easy to get you all to shed a few tears. Ha!It is 11-yo’s birthday on Sunday. Labour with

Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7820050163235399486.post-46859386304288385762009-05-29T08:37:00.010-05:002009-05-29T10:22:27.654-05:00

After I’d had the LCIS diagnosis (not cancer in itself, but indicator of high risk for developing breast cancer in the future), I made a decision. I lay awake one night, thought it through, and because this blog has become so much a part of my life, the way I thought it through was to write a blog post about it in my head. The decision was to have a double mastectomy, and to have done with it. I

Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7820050163235399486.post-22268465929879699792009-05-24T14:38:00.003-05:002009-05-24T16:42:07.446-05:00

Ah well, there’s nothing like dramatic irony. Turns out that in fact it IS cancer.I saw the doctor on Monday, and with that sleek, torpedo-like speed that I spoke of, on Tuesday I had the bad bit removed in an operation or procedure (call it what you will according to which side of the Atlantic you’re on – the bit with the knife). The pathology showed the LCIS, also DCIS (look it up if you’re

Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7820050163235399486.post-64089925382482221932009-05-17T08:22:00.009-05:002009-05-17T17:06:09.621-05:00

I promised you a post on American gun culture, and that’s half written, but the road of life has become a little bumpy this week. Someone recently told me ‘I like it when you write from the heart’, and so I thought I’d do that instead.It’s not exactly from the heart, but pretty close. About 8 inches away. I’m writing from my right boob. Where I have a lump. This is the story of the lump.About 4

Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7820050163235399486.post-73659746633129494422009-05-03T14:26:00.013-05:002009-05-03T18:32:47.628-05:00

What would you like to know about Shadowy Husband? I’d better start at the beginning. (Apologies for a lengthy post.)Husband and I met at a place called Lee Abbey, a Christian conference and holiday centre on the north coast of Devon. Lovely place, does good cream teas if you’re ever passing. He was on the staff there, and I went down for 8 weeks as a summer volunteer, when I was what is politely

Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7820050163235399486.post-59701730901905579562009-04-28T09:04:00.008-05:002009-04-28T09:21:33.839-05:00

Husband battled it out with Armed Police all week-end. Although he had the initial advantage of being able to vote for himself, what could one man do against so many, and with weapons? Armed Police have won the right to have their story told (but since Shadowy Husband generated so much interest, I’ll tell his too – next time).As with so many good stories, the key to the Armed Police story is

Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7820050163235399486.post-49443156860462450312009-04-23T07:54:00.005-05:002009-04-23T09:06:05.296-05:00

I have a huge number of blog posts in my head. They form themselves in there while I'm driving around, or pottering in the kitchen, or lying in bed. Some of them make it out into cyberspace, but the majority are still inside. They've probably formed an escape committee by now.Here's where you can help. I'm giving you a choice of four. You can vote in the poll on the sidebar. I thought you'd enjoy

Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7820050163235399486.post-70914742773655145752009-04-22T08:25:00.002-05:002009-04-22T08:27:01.168-05:00

I was telling Husband that one British English-ism I’ve found it hard to drop (and I’m not sure I’ve even tried, to be honest), is the way we pronounce the ‘Saint’ in names. 5-yo overheard our conversation.“What’s that? What do you mean? What are you saying? What are you talking about?”I took a deep breath. This wasn’t going to be an easy one to explain to a 5 year old, but I thought I’d have a

Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7820050163235399486.post-4132366592821033292009-04-21T08:05:00.007-05:002009-04-21T19:12:15.360-05:00

If you drew a Venn diagram of my life, there would be two large circles. One would be "Motherhood" and the other "Living in America". Look at the bit where they overlap (is there a technical term for that bit? I think it might be 'the intersection'). That bit is where you see I'm an Expat Mum.Look again. Can you see that third circle? The one that is "Blogging"? Got it? Good. Now, if you were in

Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7820050163235399486.post-25867223015671964912009-04-13T10:56:00.008-05:002009-04-13T12:22:36.150-05:00

Since it's Easter Monday and no doubt raining in England (and here too), I think we all need a game to play. Here's a fun one, which I am stealing unashamedly from Lord Celery's blog.Think of a famous movie. Change one letter (just one letter, mind) in the title, and produce a new movie, the one they could have had a lot of fun making if only they'd left that typo in the original proposal.Let me

Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7820050163235399486.post-36854082525824775632009-04-10T15:27:00.011-05:002009-04-10T15:50:56.079-05:00

... your child gets a letter which is a personalized invitation to join in the National American Miss competition. Yay! My child has been selected for a Beauty Pageant!I’m rather thrilled about this, as I feel I wouldn’t really have had the whole Living-in-America experience without it. It would be like going to New York and not eating a bagel, or London and not seeing Big Ben, or moving to the

Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7820050163235399486.post-24461046931248870012009-04-05T14:15:00.003-05:002009-04-05T14:27:12.522-05:00

Oh dear, I’m well and truly hoist on my own petard on this one. No way out of it but to write my own post on raising boys in the post Girl Power era.We are all very careful these days to bring our girls up to think the world is open to them. We call those stiff-jointed Playmobil people ‘firefighters’ not ‘firemen’, we carefully play female doctors with them, we explain how Barbie’s body shape is

Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7820050163235399486.post-11357140455842557042009-04-02T17:50:00.001-05:002009-04-02T18:33:42.866-05:00

You know how you sometimes put something down somewhere, and then just can't find it? Or have a telephone number scribbled down on a piece of paper, but just can't find the right piece? I've done that with a blog post.I came across a very interesting blog post, but just skimmed it, thinking "I'll read that later", but I now can't remember whose it was. I'm not sure it was one of my usual reads,

Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7820050163235399486.post-13430281169965599022009-03-28T15:36:00.002-05:002009-03-28T15:50:20.157-05:00

More than just a Mother has invited us all to share our mothering humiliations. Funny thing, blogging. Imagine wanting to hang out with people who give out those kind of invitations, instead of the “drinks and nibbles” variety.I loved her own story so much, that I feel inspired to join her in the ranks of the humiliated. (Her story tells how her pants were displayed to pewloads of church-goers,

Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7820050163235399486.post-58998683326356093552009-03-26T10:37:00.009-05:002009-03-26T13:07:50.098-05:00

I’m typing this with 4-yo sitting on my lap. She has just stapled round the perimeter of a piece of paper, very prettily, and is now copying out words that I am writing for her. She turns 5 tomorrow, and we’ve just had a conversation about the fact that this is her fifth birthday. It needed clarifying, because we’d had a conversation earlier about how she is kind of having 2 birthdays, what with

Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7820050163235399486.post-86381904367228905982009-03-15T18:01:00.013-05:002009-03-15T19:08:38.403-05:00

Inspired by Long Aye-lander in Glasgow who is always posting photos of interesting signs and graffiti, I photographed an example from our neighborhood that I thought you’d enjoy. Here’s a picture which shows you the location (you can see I took it a while ago, when it was snowy).It’s a set of four posts with reflective diamonds on top, to warn drivers that they’re approaching this T-junction, and

Iotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.com15