Women of Mystery

NaNoFiMo

2009-12-09T06:00:00.001-05:00

Did you try your hand at NaNoWriMo last month but not make it to 50,000 words? Perhaps you reached 50,000 words but your novel wasn't anywhere near finished. Somewhere I read a comment from a women who wrote 50,000 words but was still only in chapter 3. Sheesh!

If you have a WIP that's still in the first-draft stage and you'd like some company in finishing it up, NaNoFiMo might be for you. That's right--National Novel Finishing Month. The only requirement is that your WIP be just partially written. According to Pookel, NaNoFiMo founder, if you have a completed draft that just needs editing, NaNoEdMo (National Novel Editing Month) would be more appropriate.

On the downside, National Novel Finishing Month is December. On the upside, December's not even one-third over yet. So if you'd like to participate, hop on over to the NaNoFiMo website and sign up.

Good luck!

Two Sentence Tuesday: Winning The Gift of Murder

2009-12-08T09:02:00.003-05:00

Well, oops! Occasionally late but always great (I hope.) I'd meant to perform this service and announce over the weekend, but I let myself get totally distracted by going to see a holiday musical with two of my fantastically-talented (of course) young nieces, and then became temporarily despondent over my football team's subjecting itself to the spanking machine (again.)

Returned to my senses and sense of duty, I chose this holiday pitcher for thematic integrity. I created extremely-official paper slips of similar sizes with entrants' names. Before and during the drawings, I mixed the slips, and they were selected blindly by a disinterested hand other than my own. So without further blah-blah, in lieu of two sentences I've read, and with many thanks to everyone who commented with terrific stories and entered our giveaway, here are our 3 lucky winners!

Angela,
Mindy, and
Mason Canyon

However, festivities aside, this is still Two Sentence Tuesday, and here are two eggs still warm from the hen, as it were:

"What if I told you what plagued Rolando wasn't shame or grief, not even insomnia, depression, or any of the other diagnose-ables?" Denver leaned in, eyes alight like a man about to deliver a can't-lose tip at the track.

I now feel safe in declaring-- which should worry me--that I've been subjecting myself to a kind of punishment which also leaves the backend sore: I'm writing a 2500-word chapter a day during this month to get finally off my plate and mind the 85,000-word first draft of a novel concept I've been toying with for what seems like forever.

If November's a dumb month to try to complete 50K (and it is, and I love the process of failing at it most years I participate), then December has to be an even worse month for generating even more words. So far, I'm even achieving it! As I'm also planning a visit to old-home Chicago and Michigan in January, brain-dead backwardness is apparently a compulsion. Please don't forward links to therapists and self-help books until after February though.

We'd love to share the gift of two sentences you're read and/or written over the last week, so add them to the comments or let us know where to link!

UPDATE: Leah J. Utas, one of our previous giveaway winners, has begun the dance of delight with her prize, and also has, um, fire in the belly. Or something.

Mason Canyon, one of our current winners, has two sentences she's written and read in the comments. Be sure to check out her blog, though, because the sentences remind you of something you won't want to miss!

MTM: Hall of Fame, Bronx, New York

2009-12-07T09:09:00.018-05:00

So, you see the words Hall of Fame in the Bronx and wonder if I’m crazy. The Baseball Hall of Fame is in Cooperstown, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is in Cleveland, and the Tennis Hall of Fame is in Newport, Rhode Island. What other Hall of Fame could there be?

As it turns out there are plenty more Halls of Fame, hockey, dance, basketball and so on. But the original Hall of Fame, the Hall that should be most revered is the Hall of Fame for Great Americans, designed and built more than one hundred years ago to honor Americans who have made a significant contribution to the welfare or culture of the United States in the fields of government, science or the arts.

Dr. Henry McCracken was President of New York University from 1891 until 1910. Partway through his presidency, he decided that during the construction of a new building complex on the Bronx Campus of NYU, he would originate a Hall of Fame for Great Americans.

The project was designed by Stanford White and financed by Helen Gould Shepard. The campus stands on one of the highest spots in the Bronx and offers magnificent views of Manhattan and the New Jersey palisades. To encompass the view with the monument, White designed a 630 foot open air colonnade. Each open space is designed to hold a bronze bust of a prominent American.

The welcome page of the website has a panorama continuously showing the colonnade’s glory on a nice sunny day.

Elections to the Hall were conducted by a committee of prominent representatives of the fifty states, and a nominee had to be deceased for at least twenty five years before nomination. These rules were less stringent in the early part of the last century. Until 1920 a nominee need only be dead for ten years to be eligible.

Now you want to know who the people are who have bronze sculptures displayed in the Hall of Fame. In 1900, the original twenty nine electees included Presidents Washington, Adams, Jefferson, Lincoln and Grant. Washington Irving and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow and Nathaniel Hawthorne represented American writers.

There were no woman in that first group, but in the selection of 1905 three of the eight Americans chosen were women. Our grand mystery leader, Edgar Allen Poe, was elected in 1910. I was surprised to see Robert E. Lee in the original group and a bit abashed to see names throughout the nominations that are totally unfamiliar to me.

But here is where we can learn all we need to know. Click on the this link and it will take you to the Face to Face History On-Line Tour.

The link opened for me at Albert Abraham Michelson, a physicist who was elected to the Hall in 1970. He was the first American to win a Nobel Prize for science.

Today the campus that was formerly part of NYU is the home of Bronx Community College, a junior college in the City University of New York. BCC is extremely proud of the Hall of Fame and cordially invites everyone to visit free of charge between the hours of 10 am and 5 pm, daily.

My personal relationship with the Hall is that of a typical Bronx girl. When I was a kid some of my family lived in a fifth floor walk up on Loring Place, just off the corner of Hall of Fame Terrace.
We used to look out the window and watch the sun play on the roof of the Hall of Fame. Sunset was often very colorful, but our view was not as fabulous as a friend’s apartment a couple of miles to the south which overlooked Yankee Stadium .

Speaking of fifth floor walk ups, I lived in one for most of my childhood and talk about views, my bedroom window overlooked Poe Park, a lovely sitting park with a band shell for concerts and dances on summer nights. The park housed Edgar Allen Poe's last home, known as Poe Cottage. I spoke about the cottage in a My Town Monday post a little more than a year ago.

I wrote and scheduled this post a few days ago and then our own Cathi Stoler found this link to an article about the Hall of Fame in the New York Times on Saturday. Cathi was kind enough to email the link to me with the comment: "I think the reporter peeked at our post list and decided to write the story."

For more My Town Monday posts, please visit the My Town Monday blog.

Terrie

The Nameless One Has Arrived

2009-12-06T09:16:00.003-05:00

Just a tiny announcement that my seventh grandchild, fifth granddaughter, arrived yesterday at a bit after nine in the morning. She is very pretty and very pink and most importantly, very healthy.

Eventually she will have a name. For now it is enough that she is here.

God bless her with a long and happy life.

Terrie

Charles Dickens Festival & More

2009-12-05T00:01:00.011-05:00

If you are looking for something to do this weekend, and you are able to travel to Port Jefferson, Long Island, you're in for a treat. The Greater Port Jefferson-Northern Brookhaven Arts Council presents the 14th Annual Charles Dickens Festival. Now through Sunday, Port Jefferson has transformed into the past. The streets and shops are decorated, costumed characters are walking about, Victorian entertainment and food is available. Most attractions are free or low-cost.

Recently, the Morgan Library and Museum allowed the New York Times to photograph the entire handwritten manuscript of A Christmas Carol by Charles D ickens (1812-1870), and display it online. A challenge is afoot: The reader who spots the most intriguing textual change will be invited to tea at the Morgan Library and Museum in Manhattan (the winner must provide transportation), where the 66-page manuscript is housed. You can file your submissions by clicking on the New York Times blog post here, no later than 5 p.m. EST on December 16.

The 1843 manuscript is currently on display under glass, open to page 37, at the Morgan Library and Museum at 225 Madison Avenue at 36th Street, now through January 10, 2010. For hours and admission info, click here.

I recently saw Disney's A Christmas Carol in IMAX 3D. I enjoyed it, although it was a bit dark, and I thought several scenes in this PG-rated movie were too intense for the younger set. The rating box warns: "Some material may not be suitable for children. Scary sequences and images."

The current production at Theatre Three on Main Street in Port Jefferson is Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. It is playing now through December 27, 2009. For ticket information, click here.

Interested in reading some Dickens quotes? Here's a gem from A Christmas Carol on Notable Quotes:

"I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round -- apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that -- as good a time: a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time: the only time I know of, in the long calendar year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on their journeys."

You can enjoy reading A Christmas Carol here.

Besotted

2009-12-04T18:06:00.001-05:00

Editor's caution: This fresh zinger from Nan's bawdy quill may pierce you right in your office party regrets.

There once was a divorcee - recently made
Whose looks, alas, had started to fade.
Counting her wrinkles she began to cry.
(Her sorrows abated with some gin and rye.)

She perched on a bar stool and hoisted her chest.
Fresh lipsticked and half drunk, she gave it her best.
She morphed into babe-dom, on that very night:
The more the men drank, the more she looked right.

Then droopy-eyed swaggarts began to spew rage,
And those gin-mill familiars, they took center stage.
"She's mine!" "No, she's mine!" the lugs started to shout.
Fists pumped the air; it was time to get out.

She fumbled her car keys, she let out a groan.
A knight came to her aid and took her straight home.
A fairy tale dream danced that night in her head
But come the next morn, her ex snored from her bed.

Changing the World, One Book at a Time

2009-12-04T08:41:00.005-05:00

Reader To Reader, Inc. is a 501(c)(3) public charity dedicated to bringing books, free of charge, to needy school libraries, public libraries and homeless shelters across the United States. Reader to Reader has also developed special programs including mentoring and computer programs in the Navajo community in Navajo, New Mexico.

Organized in 2002, Reader to Reader also supplied more than one million books to libraries in the area devastated by Hurricane Katrina. I first heard of the organization when Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine ran a special Hurricane Katrina relief issue and displayed a full page ad for Reader to Reader. I called David Mazor, the executive director, and he cheerfully explained that the organization accepts and ships all usable donations: books, videos, CDs, anything that a library normally supplies. The organization continues to support New Orleans. Just this fall, Reader To Reader donated a new Mo Willems children's book to every first and second grader in New Orleans.

Of course cash always makes the perfect donation! With that in mind, if you are in the mood to write a “gee, this makes me feel just great” check, here is the mailing address:

Reader To Reader, Inc. c/o Cadigan Center 38 Woodside Avenue Amherst, MA 01002

Please click on over to Reader To Reader. Once you see the great work that they do, you will be begging to help.

The accompanying pictures are from the Reader To Reader website.

Terrie

(And speaking of one book at a time, don't forget The Gift of Murder anthology whose profits go to Toys for Tots. You can buy it, of course, so the money goes to the charity, or you can enter to win one of the copies we're giving away!)

Rewarding Bad Sex

2009-12-03T14:00:00.002-05:00

The Women of Mystery have been announcing a lot of competitions and giveaways lately. Today it's time to announce a winner--Jonathan Littell. For what? This year's Literary Review Bad Sex in Fiction Award. Go, Jonathan!

Littell was named the winner of this year's award for The Kindly Ones. In 2006, he won the Prix Goncourt, a prestigious French award, for the same book. The Kindly Ones was originally published in French.

In announcing the Bad Sex in Fiction Award, the judges called The Kindly Ones "ambitious and impressive.

"It is in part a work of genius," they said. However, they added, "a mythologically inspired passage and lines such as 'I came suddenly, a jolt that emptied my head like a spoon scraping the inside of a soft-boiled egg' clinched the award for The Kindly Ones."

The Literary Review Bad Sex in Fiction Award has been handed out annually since 1993 to draw attention to the "crude, tasteless, and often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in contemporary novels, and to discourage it." Littell beat out Phillip Roth (The Humbling), John Banville (The Infinites), and Paul Theroux (A Dead Hand) for this year's award.

According to Reuters, Littell isn't expected to attend the award ceremony.

One word says it all

2009-12-03T07:00:00.000-05:00

Our girl Kathy may be queen of the short shorts, but I challenge her to beat this one! Of course it's not really a fair challenge, as it requires graphical representation as well. But here you go folks...a time management idea for the holidays (note the house on the right):

Giveaway: The Gift of Murder

2009-12-02T06:15:00.004-05:00

As promised, to ease your holiday travail and add to its delights, we are giving away 3 copies of the Wolfmont Publishing anthology to benefit Toys for Tots. THE GIFT OF MURDER is packed with wintry holiday crime, and is available in hardcopy or e-book formats at The Digital Bookshop. (see the cover art in our sidebar) Check out the talent between the covers, many of them not only great writers, but WoM pals, I'm delighted to say:

The Seven Dollar Clue by J.F. Benedetto

Red Christmas by Stefanie Lazer

The Christmas Caper by Stephen D. Rogers

'Twas the Night by Anita Page

Jingle Bell, S.I. by Randy Rawls

Caught on Christmas Eve by Earl Staggs

The Gift of the Margi by Peg Herring

An Unexpected Gift by Deborah Elliott-Upton

The Werewolf's Christmas by Bill Crider

Yule Be Sorry by Carolyn J. Rose

Death Will Trim Your Tree by Elizabeth Zelvin

The Worst Noel by Barb Goffman

No Place to Spend Christmas by Austin S. Camacho

Grace on the Case by Sandra Seamans

One Good Turn by Steve Shrott

The Kindle Did It by Gail Farrellly

An Inconvenient Killing by Herschel Cozine

The Gift of Christmas Past by Kris Neri

The Spirit of Spadena Street by Marian Allen

To add to the immense value of this fantastic giveaway, I will also delve into my personal wrapping stores (Ribbons, subsection: Spooled displayed above) and embellish the title in seasonally appropriate camouflage, should you wish it done. Even further, if it pleases you and knocks a name off your shopping list, I'll send it directly to whichever lucky soul you choose, enclosed with a kind note of your own creation.

To enter the drawing, simply add a comment telling us one of the xxxxx-iest holiday gifts you ever got (scariest, cheapest, smelliest, whatever.) For example, this moon-eyed teenager was herself surprised one Christmas to receive a book from my grandmother on napkin folding. Yeesh- that gift was the etiquettiest.

As always, be sure we can link to your e-mail, or include it directly in the comment's text. If we can't contact you, the jellycake rolls onto another entrant. We'll collect entries through midnight, this Friday, and announce the winners on Saturday, December 5th. Plenty of time for the postal sleigh to make its rounds, so get Gifting already!

Two Sentence Tuesday: Post-NaNo Edition

2009-12-01T10:23:00.006-05:00

Well, here we are on December 1. Did you accomplish any writing goals last month, even if it wasn't NaNo? Me, I wrote 20,000 words in November, which is pretty good for me, even if it's not the 50,000 NaNo aims for.

Today's two sentences come from John Connolly's The Gates, a YA novel that's decidedly outside his usual style but tons of fun nonetheless.

Samuel held his breath and listened. He had the uncomfortable sense that a very squishy creature was also holding its breath, if it had any to hold Even if it didn't it was definitely listening.

And a few from my NaNo project, which now has to go away so I can get back to my WIP.

Jake could feel Tara’s frustration like a physical presence among them. He would get an earful about this later, he was certain. Thank God--or the Powers--they’d have tomorrow off duties as well so they could try to talk through today’s discoveries. And maybe he could convince her to leave. Tara’s friend was dead, her reasons for joining the Chosen had dissolved.

What about you? Read anything? Write anything? Let us know where to find it, and we'll update this post as the day goes on.

David Cranmer has two gorily dangling sentences this week!

Leah J. Utas has howlingly interesting sentences this week!

"Walmart, I Love You" A Flash Fiction Challenge

2009-11-30T06:00:00.011-05:00

About a month ago, Steve Weddle, along with Keith Rawson, inspired by the People of Walmart site, suggested to Patti Abbott, Aldo Calcagno from Powder Burn Flash, and Gerald So, to host a flash fiction challenge called "Walmart, I Love You." Patti proposed a 750-800 word story that is set, or partially set, in a Walmart. Here's my version:

"Walmart, I Love You"

The police are looking for my dad, but they don’t know his name. Yet.

I began calling him “Dad” shortly after he moved in with my mom and me about six months ago. My real father died seven years ago, just before I was born.

It all started a few days ago. On Christmas Eve, Dad said, “Let’s go to Walmart. I’ve got the munchies.”

I wondered if Dad was going to put up the tree as he promised Mom before she left for work. I begged her to stay home. She said, “The restaurant will be busy tonight, and the tips should be good.” She smiled and gave me a hug, but she seemed so sad.

The smell of fresh-cut Christmas trees outside Walmart made me wish for a real one instead of the fake one we have at home. The Walmart greeter looked just like Santa Claus. I worried that Santa wouldn’t leave any presents if our tree wasn’t up in time.

We walked straight to the beef jerky aisle where Dad grabbed some Cheez Whiz, Slim Jims, and a box of Ritz Crackers.

“Pick out some crap in a can,” he barked.

At the check-out, the woman in front of us left her wallet behind. I was about to say something when Dad grabbed the wallet and shoved it into his coat pocket. He shot me a look and hissed, “Shut your mouth.” His breath stank of beer. The cashier was busy talking to someone and didn’t notice what happened.

When we got back home, Dad ate, drank a beer, and fell asleep; he never put the tree up.

I left some cookies on a plate for Santa, just in case.

When I sprang out of bed on Christmas morning, I smelled pine-scented air that filled the house. In our living room, I saw twinkling lights, ornaments, and tinsel that looked so magical, with presents -- under a real tree! Santa must have heard my secret wish. I checked the plate; only cookie crumbs remained.

A few nights later, while Mom was at work, Dad fell asleep early again. I turned the TV on and I froze like a statue when I saw the news: it was a video of Dad putting the woman's wallet in his pocket. The camera at Walmart must be in the ceiling, because you can only see the top of our heads. A cop said to the reporter, “This guy lost a valuable chance to teach a child to do the right thing,” and he called it a “crime of opportunity,” but I thought it was stealing.

The Crime Stoppers number flashed on the screen, which I’ve seen when Dad checks the “Wanted” column in the newspaper. He mutters, “I wouldn’t mind turning in some dirtbags to make some fast money,” but I don’t understand why cops would pay for dirty bags.

This was my chance; I knew I could do the right thing. I had to call before mom came home, so I dialed the number. My hands were shaking.

The officer who answered the phone sounded like the one on TV.

“Do I have to be a certain age to give you a tip?” I whispered.

“No. We don’t ask names or ages. We don’t tape our calls or use Caller ID.”

“I know who stole the woman's wallet at Walmart on Christmas Eve.”

He asked me questions about the suspect’s name, his description, if he has tattoos, and what kind of car he drives, and I told him everything.

“If your information leads to an arrest, you’re eligible for a cash reward.”

“Oh, I don’t want a reward. Could you give it to the woman whose wallet was stolen?”

“We could probably arrange that.”

He didn’t say, but I think he figured out that I was the kid in the video.

The officer asked, “Do you know where he works, and when?”

“I think he works ‘off the books,’ but I’ve never seen any books at the gas station.” I gave him the address and his work hours.

The next day, Dad didn’t come home from work. He called Mom and said he wasn’t coming home. Ever.

Dad’s arrest for the wallet theft was announced on the news, but they called him by a different name. What a coincidence; he has the same last name as my grandma. He was wanted in another state for bank robbery and violating something called parole. Mom cried; she apologized for allowing him to live with us.

“We’ll be better off without him. We don’t have to buy any more beer, so we'll save tons of money. We’ll start the new year fresh -- just you and me!”

What a pleasant thought. Save money. Live better. Walmart, I love you!

For more stories in today's flash fiction challenge, check out Patti Abbott's blog, Powder Burn Flash, Do Some Damage, and Gerald So's blog.

Masculine and Feminine

2009-11-29T23:22:00.004-05:00

Generally, English doesn't use masculine and feminine nouns or their corresponding adjectives. Sure, we might refer to a car or a boat as "she", but it doesn't really make a difference since our adjective forms don't change dependent on the nouns they describe. The one exception I can think of to this is hair color. The dictionary recognizes both "blond" and "blonde", both "brunet" and "brunette." So here's my question: Are men blonds and brunets while women are blondes and brunettes, or do you tend to use one set all the way through your manuscript? Would you rather read "blonde" for both the men and women in a manuscript, or should the adjective form change depending on which sex is being described?

For myself, I tend to use the feminine of both all the time, and "brunet" just strikes me as wrong when I see it in a book, but I am curious about the rest of you out there. What do you do? What do you like to see other people do?

The Eagle Has Landed

2009-11-29T09:46:00.005-05:00

Recently my son in law sent me some pictures of a majestic bald eagle, which frequently perches on the roof of the family home. The fact that I am presently reading Benjamin Franklin, An American Life, by Walter Issacson, coupled with our recent national feasting on turkey both stuffed and unstuffed, reminded me of Franklin’s aversion to the eagle as the avian symbol of America.

This is an abbreviated version of a quote from a letter Franklin wrote to his daughter.

“I wish the bald eagle had not been chosen as the representative of our country; he is a bird of bad immoral character. The turkey is a much more respectable bird, and withal a true original native of America.”

Much as I generally respect Ben’s opinion, I do admire the stateliness of this eagle on my daughter’s roof and think he is a fine emblem for a watchful democracy.

Terrie

A Cornucopia of Contests & Call for Submissions

2009-11-28T07:00:00.001-05:00

Over at The Bookshelf Muse, Angela Ackerman is celebrating 100,000 hits on her blog, and is offering a contest for a full critique of a novel that is past the first draft stage (WC max 85,000), and assorted other goodies; but time is running out -- visit her blog by December 1, 2009 to read up on how to join this contest. If you are unfamiliar with The Bookshelf Muse, Angela offers a unique writer's tool: an Emotion Thesaurus.

Toasted Cheese is holding a "Dead of Winter" fiction contest for a horror story set in Winter with a theme of “hidden grave.” Deadline is December 21, 2009. Winning stories will be published in their March issue. Winners receive Amazon gift certificates: 1st: $20; 2nd: $15; 3rd: $10. Word limit is 4,000. You can follow Toasted Cheese on Twitter.

The folks at Creative Nonfiction have two upcoming contests:

An essay of 5,000 words or less that explores death, dying, and end of life care, for a collection to be published for the Southern Methodist University Press. There is a $20 reading fee, and the first prize winner receives $1,500. The postmark deadline is December 31, 2009.
For an upcoming issue of Creative Nonfiction Journal, editors are looking for an essay of 5,000 words or less about the bonds - emotional, ethical, biological, physical or otherwise -- between humans and animals. There is a $20 reading fee. The postmark deadline is April 2, 2010. A $1000 prize will be given for best essay, and $500 for a runner-up.

You can follow Creative Nonfiction on Twitter.

Ocean Magazine is holding their first writing contest. They are looking for stories, essays, poems and articles relating to the ocean. Deadline is January 15, 2010. The winning entry will appear in the Ocean Magazine and online. No reading fee.

The First Line is looking for stories between 300-3,000 words with the first line: "Working for God is never easy." The deadline is February 1, 2010. There is no submission fee. They pay on publication ($20) and you receive a copy of the issue in which your story appears. The first lines for May, August and November 2010 are also posted on their web site if you wish to check it out.

How about you? Up for any contests? Or is current work keeping you busy, with the holidays on top of it all? Worn out by NaNo? Let us know!

FBF: A Prayer For Owen Meany

2009-11-27T09:13:00.002-05:00

John Irving’s work is always thematic and often moralistic. Such is the case with A Prayer For Owen Meany, which embraces the concepts of friendship, religion, and social justice as momentous elements of the personal life of each character. The reader, in turn, is guided to grab those same elements to enrich his own life.

Written as a memoir of Owen’s lifelong friend, Johnny Wheelwright, this book tells the story of the energy that Owen imparted to Johnny. The impact is summed up in a long and rambling first sentence that includes the fragment “because he [Owen] is the reason I believe in God.”

The main story covers the youth and young adulthood of Owen and Johnny and in that time and place brings in the Viet Nam war. Since Johnny is writing this memoir in 1987, he often sidelines the story to discuss the American political issues of the day, although he has long ago moved to Toronto. This popping the present into a narrative of the past can sometimes be disruptive, although Irving has a moral tie-in bubbling beneath the surface whenever he does it.

Of course both the memoir time frame and the “present” sidelines are all ancient history to the modern reader.

Throughout the book all of Owen's dialogue is in capital letters and that might trip up first time readers. The computer generation would naturally take this as shouting, but it actually represents the distinctiveness of Owen’s voice.

For more Forgotten Friday Books, please visit Patti Abbott, keeper of the list.

Terrie

Friday Funnies: Holiday Edition

2009-11-27T05:15:00.000-05:00

Image source here.

Can you face even food-related jokes yet? Friday, it surely is. But funny? Let us know when you stop groaning.

A man goes to his dentist. After the exam, the dentist says, "That new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?"

The man replies, "About four months ago my wife made asparagus and she put the most delicious stuff on it, Hollandaise sauce. I love it so much now I put it on everything --- meat, fish, vegetables, toast, everything!"

"Well," says the dentist, "that's your problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new one, and this time I'll use chrome."

"Why chrome?" asks the patient.

"Simple. Everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise."

Let's Say Thanks

2009-11-26T09:07:00.008-05:00

With all the chaos in the world including two wars, the economy, Swine Flu, natural disasters, random acts of insanity and our own personal problems, we sometimes forget to voice our thanks to those who make our way of life a possibility.

Well, XEROX Corporation, along with other corporate partners and two wonderful Not-For-Profits called Give2TheTroops, and Operation Gratitude, have arranged for all of us to send a dandy holiday note of Thanksgiving to a member of the American Armed Forces serving overseas.

This quote is directly from the “About Us” section of the Let’s Say Thanks website.

“The mission of Let's Say Thanks is to provide a way for individuals to recognize U.S. troops stationed overseas by sending a free personalized postcard greeting to deployed servicemen and women.
The postcards, depicting patriotic scenes and hometown images, were selected from a pool of entries from children across the country.
All you have to do is click on your favorite design and either select the message that best expresses your sentiment or draft a personal note. The postcards are then printed on the Xerox iGen3® Digital Production Press and mailed in care packages by military support organization Give2TheTroops®.”

Please take a minute and click here. I promise not only will you get that warm Thanksgiving feeling, you'll pass it along to someone you will never meet.

This program is ongoing and I am sure lots of service members would love to hear from all of us during the upcoming holiday season.

The picture above is the one I selected for my card. It was drawn by Adrielle, age 12, and she lives in Conesus, NY.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Terrie

Pulp Fiction

2009-11-25T07:00:00.003-05:00

Smart, funny and self-described as “ruggedly handsome,” Richard Castle is the lead character in ABC’s new comedy/drama series,Castle, and believe it or not, a New York Times best-selling author, as well. His novel, Heat Wave, has been on the Time’s list for several weeks.

Given that Castle is not actually a living, breathing person, but merely a fictional character on a TV series, that’s a pretty neat trick. And I was curious to know how the show’s producers pulled it off

As a famous mystery novelist the TV Castle is originally asked to help the NYPD solve a copycat murder based on one his novels. He works with Detective Kate Beckett (played by the actress Stana Katic) and decides that she would be a great model for his next book. Using his contacts with friends in high places, he gets permission to accompany her while she investigates her cases.

To make the book feel real, the novel reprises the plot of several episodes of the show, which has Beckett reading from the pages Castle has written based on her. Additionally, Heat Wave was available for purchase at the same time the book within the show was released, with Richard Castle (Nathan Fillion) showing up for book signings.

Fillion, the actor who plays Castle, is smart, funny and yes, very handsome. (Okay, I do have a small crush on him, which is why I watch the show.) I think that he brings the character to life with humor and style. But, Fillion is not an author.

Yet, several real life, big deal authors have been part of the series as Castle’spoker playing buddies. Appearing as themselves, they include James Patterson, Michael Connelly and Stephen J. Cannell, anyone of whom could have penned Heat Wave.

Just like these authors, TV Castle gives interviews, has a Twitter page and has a nice “about the author” blurb on Amazon describing his previous novels and his life in New York City.

Trying to uncover the real author’s identity is impossible. No one is talking. The online gossip seems to favor Cannell, who has created dozens of TV programs and authored many mystery novels. Personally, I wouldn’t rule out the prolific Patterson, who might enjoy plotting and writing a series like this.

In an online interview, Castle creator Andrew Marlow insisted that there’s no mystery: “Richard Castle. The roguishly handsome best-selling author of the Derek Storm mystery series. He’s charming. He’s a good writer. And I don’t know why you’re trying to take credit away from him. The guy worked hard on it.”

Two Sentence Tuesday: The Gift of Murder

2009-11-24T08:36:00.004-05:00

We've mentioned this charity anthology benefitting Toys for Tots (Just click the cover on our sidebar for more information or to purchase.) Though it's not the season, not quite yet, I'll wet your whistle for our giveaway coming up Wednesday, December 2nd. From editor John Floyd's forward, I've selected two sentences about the variety in this holiday assortment, because it isn't just in the bylines.

"The characters are just as varied: Chinese assassins, guardian angels, ex-cons, shoplifters, recovering alcoholics, schoolkids, werewolves, security guards, elves, farmers, jealous spouses, even vengeful electronic devices. And of course there are a few police detectives and amateur sleuths and private eyes thrown in-- these are, after all, mysteries."

From the beginning of my book-length rewrite, here are two plus one of my own:

"Perhaps she shouldn't find it so appealing, Frankie thought, but she'd had her fill and then some of gritty authenticity. Authenticity was a dark, viscous pool you slipped in. It was the smell you couldn't wash out of your hair."

Share any two you've read and/or written this week, theme optional. Add them to the comments or let us know where they are. And get ready for gifts from us next week!

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This week, Leah J. Utas shares nostalgic horse sense and in-progress tunnel vision.

I Am Not A Number, I Am A Free (Wo)Man!

2009-11-23T01:42:00.003-05:00

Patti Abbot is thinking about television today, and it's been on my mind lately, too. Ever since AMC started advertising its remake of one of my favorite TV shows, The Prisoner, I've had a yen to see the old series again. Of course, I watched the remake. (And, of course, I was disappointed--anyone else out there feel the same way?)

The series was originally produced in 1967 and is chock full of counter-culture attitudes. The plot revolves around a secret agent, played by the oh-so-sexy Patrick McGoohan (who, sadly, died in January of this year). The secret agent, who is unnamed, has been abducted and brought to a community called The Village, where people are held for various reasons. Each member of The Village has a number, rather than a name, and when the secret agent arrives, he is told he is Number Six. Thus the famous line from the show, "I am not a number, I am a free man!"

Number Six's nemesis is Number Two, who is always trying to get information about why Six was trying to retire from his mysterious job.

The Village is a forcibly happy place...extremely surreal. Six's dissatisfaction makes him an oddity and upsets the balance of The Village. Whoever runs The Village (the unseen Number One, whose identity Six wants to uncover) uses powerful but strange weapons to keep Six in The Village.

Luckily for me, the series lasted only 17 episodes, so it's cheap enough on iTunes for me to buy it, which I did just yesterday. Now I know what I will be doing for Thanksgiving!

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snowflake

2009-11-22T06:00:00.006-05:00

If you're a fan of the Snowflake Method of outlining a novel, have I got great news for you! Randy Ingermanson, the creator of the method--and called the Snowflake Guy in honor--has developed a software program called Snowflake Pro that gives you the tools and guidance to work through the first nine steps of the ten-step method in an easy and convenient way. (The tenth step is writing the first draft of your novel, which you can do using Word or any other regular word-processing program.)

Better, not only does Randy provide detailed written directions for preparing a snowflake, but for each step he also offers an audio lecture. In addition, he includes complete snowflakes for three novels (Gone with the Wind, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, and Pride and Prejudice) and a movie (Pirates of the Caribbean).

As a bonus, Randy has also programmed a book proposal creator into Snowflake Pro. It doesn't create a whole proposal, but it does give you a good start. This is because the material you create in a number of the Snowflake Method steps is perfect for use in a proposal. Where you need to add information, Randy has left blank spaces and directions.

Note: I haven't yet used Snowflake Pro--I just got it a few days ago, too late for use on my current WIP--but I've been using the Snowflake Method for several years now and I love it!

As is his habit, Randy is charging a very reasonable price for his software: $100. If you're interested in purchasing it or just want some more information, see Randy's website, AdvancedFictionWriting.com, or click here.

Weekend Spatchcock of Mixed Tastes

2009-11-21T19:17:00.000-05:00

1) Where did Okay (or O.K.) come from? I was wondering about this other day, and if you scroll through the answers, the expansion from 1830's American slang seems solid, especially when I consider how well other replacement or rhyming slang persists through public affection for using it, and how contagious slang usage is, my homeys and BFFs. Okay is a super-successful international export. And although I don't use K.G. for the know good homonymic version, I still use N.G. for No Good, and like that I'm keeping history and incomprehensibility alive.

2) Srsly, I can't remember whether I ever posted this, and realize my memory could improve with doodling while surfing, obviously, or obvo, as you like.

3) Brian May is the fabulous lead guitarist of the rock band Queen, and since 2007, an astrophysicist with his PhD. Perhaps way back in 1975, you had the same desire to work time dilation theory, an outgrowth of Einstein's Special Relativity, into an acoustic tune of epic exploration and pathos. Here's how May did it during an era when wombat-dancing listeners just assumed he was being metaphorically loose and groovy.

4) I hardly feel I ought to have to explain the image above (link via this blog), but as Thanksgiving approaches here in the U.S. many people are considering how to prepare the traditional big bird. Removing the spine, allowing one to butterfly the turkey for more even, faster cooking is one method. So, will you or won't you be following this recipe and S patchcocking for the holidays?

Six-Word Saturday

2009-11-21T12:24:00.005-05:00

Over at the Showmyface blog Cate invites you to participate in Six Word Saturday to describe your life (or something). So, here's my entry for today:

Revising, tweeting, chocolate breaks in between.

This talented lady also runs the OneMinuteWriter blog. She gives you a prompt and you can post a response that takes a minute to write (her site even has a timer). I gave it a shot when I read the prompt was "Police," about a police encounter. If you'd like to read my entry, which she chose as the winning response, you can do so here.

You can follow Cate on Twitter here.

These are short and sweet, so why not consider participating in Six Word Saturday or a prompt at the OneMinuteWriter blog sometime soon?

Friday Links-o-Relevance

2009-11-20T08:48:00.005-05:00

Unlike the silliness I spread on evenings and weekends with the careless abandon of excess cell phone minutes, these are actual, bibliocentric links I'm slotting into the week proper.

1) In this WSJ article, Alexandra Alter has 17 diverse and accomplished authors briefly share their methods for How to Write a Great Novel. It proves again there's no right way, just what works. If you're surfing the web because your prose is stuck, you can give one of these approaches a try, and if you think your personal methodology's weird, you'll be comforted.

2) When Publisher's Weekly recently announced their top 100 book picks for 2009, none of the top 10 were written by a woman. That may simply be how the compilation of ratings randomly shook out this year, but around the webiverse, some people are explaining why they're considering it a boys' club weenie roast.

3) Harper Collins has launched a beta version of a new site and concept, authonomy. In their words, they hope to connect readers, writers, and publishing professionals

"...unpublished and self published authors to post their manuscripts for visitors to read online. Authors create their own personal page on the site to host their project - and must make at least 10,000 words available for the public to read. authonomy can comment on these submissions – and can personally recommend their favourites to the community. authonomy counts the number of recommendations each book receives, and uses it to rank the books on the site. It also spots which visitors consistently recommend the best books – and uses that info to rank the most influential trend spotters. We hope the authonomy community will guide publishers straight to the freshest writing talent – and will give passionate and thoughtful readers a real chance to influence what’s on our shelves."

If you like this idea, or are trying it out as a reader or writer, please let us know in the comments. Is this the future, another way to replace good individual editors, both?

BTW: I think this method, by Harper Collins, is surely a more transparent, less-exploitative way for a publisher to find new talent than the implications of, oh, say, Harlequin Horizons $elf-publishing arm. Just hearing about the latter, I didn't love it, and perceived lots of issues for both HH and traditional Harlequin authors. Well, this particular new innovation is also drawing fire from Mystery Writers of America, and more worrisomely for the romance mothership, from Romance Writers of America, too. This last link from Jackie Kessler's blog also gives a detailed explanation of why this isn't "self publishing" a legit choice if transparent but true "vanity publishing." Preditors and Editors agrees- look in the H's.

UPDATE: It's hard to keep up with this one as it runs, but I've been referring to Lee Goldberg's blog since working against deceptive practices in (self) publishing is one of his huge crusades as an author and MWA Board Member. I've learned that Science Fiction Writers of America have joined the fray, like RWA, in having removed Harlequin from their list of approved publishers. That means, if you're not aware, that having your work published there doesn't qualify as "pro" level per the organization's guidelines. I'm sure they'll make provision to grandfather in those authors who've made careers up to this point writing professionally for Harlequin. But as of now, future works are lumped with amateur or vanity publishing, and that matters.

Is it time for Harlequin to pull up the stakes and call it a circus already?