Sober N Clean

Studying

2008-09-29T12:57:00.000-05:00

Studying is a very simple concept right!?! Yes it is, but it also takes some dedication and a heck of a lot of keeping focused and keeping on track. It is so important that we study, in order to get the results that we want. And if we don’t want better results than we don’t study. In order to get good grades in class, we must apply ourselves, focus on what we are doing, and make sure that we are directly connected to what we are doing.

It is so simple, yet sometimes we will become complacent and that isn’t good for us. We need to do the very best that we can in whatever we are doing. One thing that I have noticed here lately is that it takes a lot more than just to show up for a class. It takes involvement in that class also. We must participate in what we are doing in order for whatever we are studying to become very effective. Now this concept isn’t knew to us, yet it is like a God Shot to someone such as myself.

I have been in recovery for quite sometime now. However even with the time that I have in, I have not participated too much in my recovery, nor have I even studied that much in order to get the results that I would like to have. I suppose a guy would even say that I have pretty much just rested on my morals, if in fact I even had any to begin with. So I come up with the conclusion that we need to get back to the basics. And what are the basics of studying.

First thing is to show up on time. We can not be late for class because there are consequences for being late, or tardy if you remember. And if you get too many of them than you can get suspended and than if that happens you are going to be missing out on a lot of things from the class that you will probably end up failing. So showing up on time is very important.

Now in class we have to also pay attention to the teacher. That being said, if you are in Recovery, the teacher can be a lot of different things. I know many will automatically go into the Sponsor, God stuff, etc. but there are other teachers such as just friends, maybe your partner, books, literature, Forums sites that have a whole lot of Resources and things of the such. These things are all teachers and if we are paying attention to it than we are off to a wonderful start.

Now usually during class, when the teacher is teaching, most of us have used what we know as taking notes. Now as far as the notes are concerned, that is pretty much the same as journalism. Now if you go to most websites that are used for recovery they or most of them have journal forums in them so you are able post and most of the Internet world are not able to see them unless they are members of that Forum so that is a good way to express yourself and to be able to take note so to speak.

Than when all is said and done, once we have commensed this way of life, we than are ready to take the test. The test in recovery and being able to pass the test is to learn how to live life without the use of using. To put into action the things that we are taught by all the process above and to score on that test so to speak. The score depends on how well we follow the directions and how well we have listened throughout sessions. That my friends is Studying to this addict.

Thanks for allowing me to share.

Addiction In Action

2008-08-23T00:27:00.003-05:00

Addiction in action is a very real thing. It is so real that only those that are in it and those that have lived it can relate too. If someone has never been there, they have no idea in what it in tells.

There are many phases of active addiction. The most prominent one is of course the not being able to get enough of whatever it is you are using. In my case it is one of two drugs that I seem to always go back too, meth, or cocaine. They both have served a purpose in my life, and usually that purpose is to take me down to where I am either completely under its care, or completely broken down. Either way it has taken me to the bitter ends of life itself, not only with life but within myself and the way in which I can no longer feel comfortable within myself.

Although some may have some clean time, or some may not. I feel that some have gone to the point where they worry way too much about whether to stay clean or not. I know that sounds like it is contradiction to the way that most think, but for real. The only thing that is really important in life IMO is to be happy. Now for me that is the most important thing. It really is more important than to worry whether I will use today or not. Now I am not saying that I am going to go out and get high. I am just saying that there is a lot of life out there to live, to give to others, and to give to yourselves.

Active addiction isn't always fun, and yet it isn't always that bad. I can just hear people right now talking the talk of the Programs. LMAO, one example is "My worst day clean is better than my best day high!" Well I will be the one to tell you that I don't have to believe in everything that I hear, and IMO that is BS. I had a lot of good times out there getting high. I had a lot of fun doing things that I probably would never have gotten to do if it wasn't for getting high. So for me and this is just for me that I had some fun.

Being in active addiction, depending on my own experience though can take you to some of the extremes that you would rather not go. For instance, usually when I continue to use, I always end up in jail, or something of the sort. Some sort of trouble when I continue to use day in and day out. Now I don't know too much about not using day in and day out. But it does seem that the times that I use just once in a while, that I don't always get into a lot of trouble. However like I did say I don't know how to do that very well.

I am a junkie, so put a needle into my arm and watch out! Than there is very little chance if any that I would be able to control anything. Active addiction takes us to the getting, looking, seeking, doing what we can to get high. Now I am just rambling here so please forgive this post but I am wondering, if you use, and the craving and the obsession doesn't start up? Than does that mean that we are different. Are we able to be that person that others in the Program refer to as being "Normal" people? Can even a Junkie be considered a "Social Junkie" What makes a person be able to control his or her usage?

Addiction is something that kills!
Addiction is something that will take you and your family away!
Addiction is something that will make your life a living hell!
Addiction is for real.

Sleeping Is Healthy

2008-07-30T16:50:00.001-05:00

Finally got a decent night sleep in almost 4 weeks of being in Lincoln.

Sleeping isn’t easy for me. Most of my lack of sleeping is caused from my drug use during my life. But when I am able to get a good night sleep it feels really good I am glad that I finally was able to get a good nights rest! Sometimes I think that has a lot to do with my recovery as well. They talk a lot about the H.A.L.T.S. (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Sick) part in the rooms of AA/NA and I am sure that it has a lot to do with relapse. I get most of those quite a bit, maybe I should pay more attention to that little check list.

I woke up earlier and did my postings on the server for the meditations for the day. That was a good thing around 3 or 4am and than I went back to bed. But let us get back to the topic at hand. Sleeping is Healthy.

Most of us don’t realize how important it is to have a good night sleep. It is very important to be well rested. It helps us through out the day to be able to function in a healthy manner and I also believe that it helps us to react to situations in a much healthier manner as well. Without having a good nights rest and having those nights build up into weeks without a good nights rest, we tend to be on the edge more with our attitude, and not only with our attitude but on dealing with issues that may arise. So it is important in so many aspects to have a healthy sleeping schedule.

Now I am not one for the use of aids, however if you need a sleeping pill to help you get that nights rest, than by all means get in touch with your Doctor and talk it over with him/her. I know that you can by those things over the counter, however with alkies/addicts it isn’t a good thing to start going to the local drug store and just prescribing yourself medications without first talking it over with a Doctor. Now that is just my own opinion and you can take it or leave it. But I only know from my own experience that it isn’t best for me to start playing Doctor again, I have been down that road too many times and it always leads to other things which are not healthy.

Here are some tips that might help you out

Here are some Tips that may help.

Sleep is as important as food and air. Quantity and quality are very important. Most adults need between 7.5 to 8.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. If you press the snooze button on the alarm in the morning you are not getting enough sleep. This could be due to not enough time in bed, external disturbances, or a sleep disorder.
Keep regular hours. Try to go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time every day. Getting up at the same time is most important. Getting bright light, like the sun, when you get up will also help. Try to go to bed only when you are sleepy. Bright light in the morning at a regular time should help you feel sleepy at the same time every night.
Stay away from stimulants like caffeine. This will help you get deep sleep which is most refreshing. If you take any caffeine, take it in the morning. Avoid all stimulants in the evening, including chocolate, caffeinated sodas, and caffeinated teas. They will delay sleep and increase arousals during the night.
Use the bed for sleeping. Avoid watching TV or using laptop computers. Know that reading in bed can be a problem if the material is very stimulation and you read with a bright light. If it helps to read before sleep make sure you use a very small wattage bulb to read. A 15 watt bulb should be enough. Bright light from these activities may inhibit sleep.
Avoid bright light around the house before bed. Using dimmer switches in living rooms and bathrooms before bed can be helpful. (Dimmer switches can be set to maximum brightness for morning routines.)
Don’t stress if you feel you are not getting enough sleep. It will just make matters worse. Know you will sleep eventually.
Avoid exercise near bedtime. No exercise at least 3 hours before bed.
Don’t go to bed hungry. Have a light snack, avoid a heavy meal before bed.
Bedtime routines are helpful for good sleep. Keep routines on your normal schedule. A cup of herbal tea an hour before bed can begin a routine.
Avoid looking at the clock if you wake up in the middle of the night. It can cause anxiety. This is very difficult for most of us, so turn the clock away from your eyes so you would have to turn it to see the time. You may decide not to make the effort and go right back to sleep.
If you can’t get to sleep for over 30 minutes, get out of bed and do something boring in dim light till you are sleepy.
Keep your bedroom at comfortable temperature. Not too warm and not too cold. Cooler is better than warmer.
If you have problems with noise in your environment you can use a white noise generator. A old fan will work or you can buy noise machies from many sources.
Know that the “night cap” has a price. Alcohol may help you to get to sleep but it will cause you to wake up throughout the night. You may not notice it. (It is worse if you have sleep apnea because the alcohol makes the apnea worse.) Sometimes people snore only if they have had some alcohol or may snore worse if they already snore.)
If you have a sleeping partner, ask them if they notice any snoring, leg movements and/or pauses in breathing . Take this information and try the sleep test. You may have a sleep disorder or you may just need to increase your awareness about your own sleep need. If you have any concerns see your doctor.

What Are Substance Abuse and Addiction?

2008-07-27T06:01:00.000-05:00

The difference between substance abuse and addiction is very slight. Substance abuse means using an illegal substance or using a legal substance in the wrong way. Addiction begins as abuse, or using a substance like marijuana or cocaine. You can abuse a drug (or alcohol) without having an addiction. For example, just because Sara smoked weed a few times doesn't mean that she has an addiction, but it does mean that she's abusing a drug — and that could lead to an addiction.

People can get addicted to all sorts of substances. When we think of addiction, we usually think of alcohol or illegal drugs. But people become addicted to medications, cigarettes, even glue! And some substances are more addictive than others: Drugs like crack or heroin are so addictive that they might only be used once or twice before the user loses control.

Addiction means a person has no control over whether he or she uses a drug or drinks. Someone who's addicted to cocaine has grown so used to the drug that he or she has to have it. Addiction can be physical, psychological, or both.

Physical addiction is when a person's body actually becomes dependent on a particular substance (even smoking is physically addictive). It also means building tolerance to that substance, so that a person needs a larger dose than ever before to get the same effects. Someone who is physically addicted and stops using a substance like drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes may experience withdrawal symptoms. Common symptoms of withdrawal are diarrhea, shaking, and generally feeling awful.

Psychological addiction happens when the cravings for a drug are psychological or emotional. People who are psychologically addicted feel overcome by the desire to have a drug. They may lie or steal to get it.

A person crosses the line between abuse and addiction when he or she is no longer trying the drug to have fun or get high, but has come to depend on it. His or her whole life centers around the need for the drug. An addicted person — whether it's a physical or psychological addiction or both — no longer feels like there is a choice in taking a substance.

Info Facts: Crack And Cocaine

2008-06-29T13:05:00.001-05:00

Cocaine is a powerfully addictive stimulant drug. The powdered, hydrochloride salt form of cocaine can be snorted or dissolved in water and injected. Crack is cocaine that has not been neutralized by an acid to make the hydrochloride salt. This form of cocaine comes in a rock crystal that can be heated and its vapors smoked. The term "crack" refers to the crackling sound heard when it is heated.*

Regardless of how cocaine is used or how frequently, a user can experience acute cardiovascular or cerebrovascular emergencies, such as a heart attack or stroke, which could result in sudden death. Cocaine-related deaths are often a result of cardiac arrest or seizure followed by respiratory arrest.

Health Hazards

Cocaine is a strong central nervous system stimulant that interferes with the reabsorption process of dopamine, a chemical messenger associated with pleasure and movement. The buildup of dopamine causes continuous stimulation of receiving neurons, which is associated with the euphoria commonly reported by cocaine abusers.

Physical effects of cocaine use include constricted blood vessels, dilated pupils, and increased temperature, heart rate, and blood pressure. The duration of cocaine's immediate euphoric effects, which include hyperstimulation, reduced fatigue, and mental alertness, depends on the route of administration. The faster the absorption, the more intense the high. On the other hand, the faster the absorption, the shorter the duration of action. The high from snorting may last 15 to 30 minutes, while that from smoking may last 5 to 10 minutes. Increased use can reduce the period of time a user feels high and increases the risk of addiction.

Some users of cocaine report feelings of restlessness, irritability, and anxiety. A tolerance to the "high" may develop—many addicts report that they seek but fail to achieve as much pleasure as they did from their first exposure. Some users will increase their doses to intensify and prolong the euphoric effects. While tolerance to the high can occur, users can also become more sensitive to cocaine's anesthetic and convulsant effects without increasing the dose taken. This increased sensitivity may explain some deaths occurring after apparently low doses of cocaine.

Use of cocaine in a binge, during which the drug is taken repeatedly and at increasingly high doses, may lead to a state of increasing irritability, restlessness, and paranoia. This can result in a period of full-blown paranoid psychosis, in which the user loses touch with reality and experiences auditory hallucinations.

Other complications associated with cocaine use include disturbances in heart rhythm and heart attacks, chest pain and respiratory failure, strokes, seizures and headaches, and gastrointestinal complications such as abdominal pain and nausea. Because cocaine has a tendency to decrease appetite, many chronic users can become malnourished.

Different means of taking cocaine can produce different adverse effects. Regularly snorting cocaine, for example, can lead to loss of the sense of smell, nosebleeds, problems with swallowing, hoarseness, and a chronically runny nose. Ingesting cocaine can cause severe bowel gangrene due to reduced blood flow. People who inject cocaine can experience severe allergic reactions and, as with all injecting drug users, are at increased risk for contracting HIV and other blood-borne diseases.

Added Danger: Cocaethylene
When people mix cocaine and alcohol consumption, they are compounding the danger each drug poses and unknowingly forming a complex chemical experiment within their bodies. NIDA-funded researchers have found that the human liver combines cocaine and alcohol and manufactures a third substance, cocaethylene, that intensifies cocaine's euphoric effects, while potentially increasing the risk of sudden death.

Treatment

The widespread abuse of cocaine has stimulated extensive efforts to develop treatment programs for this type of drug abuse.

One of NIDA's top research priorities is to find a medication to block or greatly reduce the effects of cocaine, to be used as one part of a comprehensive treatment program. NIDA-funded researchers are also looking at medications that help alleviate the severe craving that people in treatment for cocaine addiction often experience. Several medications are currently being investigated for their safety and efficacy in treating cocaine addiction.

In addition to treatment medications, behavioral interventions—particularly cognitive behavioral therapy—can be effective in decreasing drug use by patients in treatment for cocaine abuse. Providing the optimal combination of treatment and services for each individual is critical to successful outcomes.

Extent of Use

Monitoring the Future (MTF) Survey **
Lifetime,*** annual, and 30-day cocaine use remained stable among all three grades in 2005. Perceived harmfulness of occasional use also remained stable in 2005, measuring at 65.3 percent among 8th-graders, 72.4 percent among 10th-graders, and 60.8 percent among 12th-graders.

Use of Cocaine in Any Form by Students, 2005:
Monitoring the Future Survey

	8th-Graders	10th-Graders	12th-Graders
Lifetime	3.7%	5.2%	8.0%
Annual	2.2	3.5	5.1
30-Day	1.0	1.5	2.3

Crack Cocaine Use by Students, 2005:
Monitoring the Future Survey

	8th-Graders	10th-Graders	12th-Graders
Lifetime	2.4%	2.5%	3.5%
Annual	1.4	1.7	1.9
30-Day	0.6	0.7	1.0

Community Epidemiology Work Group (CEWG)****
Cocaine-related death mentions in 2003 were particularly high in New York City/Newark, Detroit, Boston, and Baltimore, as measured by one Federal data source. Reports from local medical examiner data named Texas and Philadelphia as sites with the highest rates of cocaine-related deaths from 2003 through 2004.

Primary cocaine treatment admissions in 2004 accounted for 52.5 percent of treatment admissions, excluding alcohol, in Atlanta, 38.9 percent in New Orleans, and approximately 36 percent in Texas and Detroit.

National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH)*****
In 2004, 34.2 million Americans aged 12 and over reported lifetime use of cocaine, and 7.8 million reported using crack. About 5.6 million reported annual use of cocaine, and 1.3 million reported using crack. An estimated 2 million Americans reported current use of cocaine, 467,000 of whom reported using crack. There were an estimated 1 million new users of cocaine in 2004 (approximately 2,700 per day), and most were aged 18 or older although the average age of first use was 20.0 years.

The percentage of youth ages 12 to 17 reporting lifetime use of cocaine was 2.4 percent in 2004. Among young adults aged 18 to 25, the rate was 15.2 percent, showing no significant difference from the previous year. However, there was a statistically significant decrease in perceived risk of using cocaine once a month among Americans in the 12 to 17 age bracket in 2004.

Past month crack use was down for 16- or 17-year-olds but up for 21- to 25-year-olds; 21-year-olds also showed increases in past year use of both crack and cocaine.

Past month use of cocaine was down among females aged 12–17 and Asians 12 or older, but up among Blacks aged 18 to 25. There was a decrease in past year cocaine use measured among Asians aged 18 to 25.

Following a decline between 2002 and 2003, NSDUH data show an increase in the number of people receiving treatment for a cocaine use problem during their most recent treatment at a specialty facility, from 276,000 in 2003 to 466,000 in 2004.

Stop! Go! A Rogue System in the Brain

2008-06-06T20:47:00.001-05:00

Summary

Drug abuse damages a person's ability to make decisions.
Healthy people have interacting systems in their brain that signal when to take action (go) and when to refrain (stop).
A leading addiction researcher says that when someone is addicted, it's as if the "go" system is "running off on its own" instead of interacting with the "stop" system.

Our brain controls our decisionmaking, letting us know when to go forward with an action and when to stop. Scientists have learned which parts of the brain send these messages. And they know that for addicted people, these "stop" and "go" systems are impaired.

The brain's reward, or "go" system, is basic to all humans. Called the mesolimbic dopamine system, it evolved to help us pursue things necessary for survival such as food or sex. Conversely, the brain's frontal lobes or "stop" system evolved to help us weigh the consequences of our impulses. For example, this system will help keep us from driving through a red light when we're in a hurry, because the brain will tell us that doing so would be both dangerous and illegal. In this case, the "stop" system sends a message that the consequences of doing what the "go" system wants are too negative.

"When things are working right, the 'go' circuitry and the 'stop' circuitry really are interconnected and are really talking to each other to help you weigh the consequences of a decision and decide when to go or not to go," says Dr. Anna Rose Childress, a psychology researcher at the University of Pennsylvania. "It's not that they're separable. They're interactive. They're interlinked at all times." That means that even when you are in a great hurry and risk missing an appointment, you still do not run the red light. "Go" and "stop" have communicated with each other, and "stop" has prevailed.

With Childress's addicted patients, however, "it is as though [the systems] have become functionally disconnected. It is as though the 'go' system is sort of running off on its own, is a rogue system now, and is not interacting in a regular, seamless, integrated way with the 'stop' system."

When an addicted person, even one who is working to recover, gets certain signs, or triggers, such as conflict with a companion, the "go" system overwhelms the part of the brain that's telling them, "Stop! This is a very bad idea!" The trigger can be something essential to the addicted person's life: one recovered writer realized that his addiction was partly triggered by the deadline pressure of his chosen profession as a journalist, and was prompted to start a new career; other recovering people often move from their old neighborhoods to be away from triggers. But a trigger can also be something as subtle as a scent that reminds a person of the place where they used to buy drugs.

When that trigger surfaces, Childress says, "instead of being able to say, 'What? Wait a minute. Think about what happened last week. You lost your job. You almost lost your life,' the 'stop' system doesn't seem to get into the picture at all. It's all about 'go.'"

The Problem

2008-05-12T07:48:00.001-05:00

So what exactly is the Problem? Or does that even need to be addressed? I believe that the problem should be addressed, however there is so many forms of the problem that it would be so hard to pinpoint it all into one area of any particular area of our lives that sometimes we will spend way too much time looking for what the problem is that we miss the solution to the problem. However we need to set up a blueprint if you will allow me to use this phrase for without a solid blueprint of a building you wouldn't have a solid building now would you? So we need to address the issue of what is the problem. That is a individual opinion and I am sure that there are many that will disagree with me here.

In my Own Experience I have came to believe that until we are sure of what the problem is there is no process to regain control over our addiction or over our addictive thinking which is my own opinion. I believe that we need to get down to the root and the cause of each of the addictions that are ailing us and than once we have opened up that door we will than be able to proceed to the next level of the recovery process.

Since the word addiction as we saw has what is now coincide with our minds and the way in which we react to the issues at hand it means that we have now discovered that we are not only physically, and mentally ill from the use of the substance, but it also processes some sort of bad vibes in the process also and this process never ceases until we do actually face the fact concerning the Problems that entail our everyday lives not just the days that we cleaned up from our main DOC (Drug Of Choice).

We start by recognizing our Problems with each other through our active drug use and being able to relate to the situation that got us there. This is the first part of the recovery phase that I like to call the truth has hit ya in the face but is that enough. Yeah the truth will set you free but only if you are willing to actually accept the truth for the truth. It is not just knowing the truth for knowing the truth and living the truth are two very different things. One may know that they have a sex issue, drug issue, gambling issue, but knowing it isn't anything unless we are willing to accept this to be the truth and once that is done than we are than able to move into another direction from what some would say is the denial stage of recovery into the active process of the recovery road.

I believe that I finally accepted the truth to the fact that crack, meth had me licked on May 25, 2006 and yet I had know the truth for many years before that. But until I could accept the fact that these substances was making a huge mess up in my life nothing seemed to happen very effectively in my recovery road. Although I had sometime being clean the the process wasn't the same than as it is now. I actually believe that it was easier to stay off of the stuff while I was actually only acknowledging my problem rather than accepting that it was my problem. You see there that is what I am saying that while it was actually only acknowledge the fact rather than accepting that it was the fact of my problems and the word was is also a key thing here because it isn't in fact a part of myself that is hurting my sound mind although it still does from the damage that I have caused to the brain cells all of these years.

The fact remains that those two substances I had to get out of my life, also with any other drug/alcohol to start the journey into the recovery field. Today I am still haunted by the addiction to Nicotine that sounds harmless but my story is still being told and this part of my addiction is still causing me insane and unsound mind decisions, although it would be a lot worse which we all would have to agree if I were still using those other substances PERIOD. So Now I have set up the problem as I had to search for within myself. Maybe you have the same problems or not, maybe it is Nicotine, Sex, Pot, Speed, Crack, Meth, Porno, whatever is causing this obsessive/compulsive behavior that is making the wrong choices than we identify that and move on to the next step in our recovery path toward freedom from our addiction to whatever addiction it is for you. As many of forms of addiction there are at least that many forms for recovery, I use multiple ways to recover and it works for me. Today

Recovery and Relapse inventory worksheet

2008-04-29T15:16:00.001-05:00

Recovery and Relapse inventory worksheet

I have worked with a great many folks that have utilized teh swinging door. I have found the following to be very helpful in preventing the next relapse.

The instructions that were given to me when I found the worksheet were only that the person be encouraged to be thoroughly honest and willing to make changes. Those that have done the worksheet remain clean and sober. So I know it owrks…..and as the promises say..”if we work it”
I hope this will be helpful

Recovery and Relapse inventory worksheet

1) what fear did your relaps create?

2) what guilt did it bring?

3) what regret did it create?

4) what harm did you do to yourself?

5) what harm did you do to others?

6) what financial harm was done?

7) what relationship damage was done?

what did it do to your self esteem?

9) what damage was done to your relationship with God?

10) what other problems did your using create?

Read recovery and relapse every day for a month.

The chapter says a relapse means we are holding on to

Reservations.

11) what parts of the program are you not willing to trust?Can

you identify any reservations?

Often we find that our surrender only scratches the surface.Only

A full surrender works with this disease.Use this chapter as a guideline

The whole point of this worksheet is to look back and identify and discover in what areas you failed to work your program of recovery. If we donâ€™t learn from our relapses…..and become aware of what not to do againâ€¦..we are destined to repeat those same mistakes.

If you are willing to at least look at your thinking, feelings, and behavior that led up to the relapseâ€¦..you are moving towards recovery, not away from it.

It is just as important to look at assets, as well as liabilities. We look at what was working as opposed to what didnâ€™t work and identify problem areas. These are the areas we want to bring into our awareness this timeâ€¦.so they wonâ€™t slip below the radar again.

In what ways was I actively working my program? (explain/describe, include feelings)
Meetings?
Sponsor?
Steps?
Higher power?
Service?

In what areas did I let my program slide or become complacent? (explain/describe, include feelings)
Meetings?
Sponsor?
Steps?
Higher power?
Service?

In what ways was my life manageable?(explain/describe, include feelings)
Mentally?
Emotionally?
Physically?
Spiritually?

In what ways was my life unmanageable? (explain/describe â€“ be specific, include feelings)
Mentally?
Emotionally?
Physically?
Spiritually?

What events/situations affected my life negatively? (people, places, things, relationships, work)
How did I handle those events? (positive/negative)
What choices (self-will) do I think led me back into unmanageability?
Were these choices well thought out or impulsive reactions? Did you choose by default and ignore the warning signs)
In what ways was I in denial of the direction I was heading?
What circumstances could I have handled differently? In what way?

How was my emotional life unmanageable without the use of drugs? (in what ways â€“ describe feelings and over what).

What were my thinking processes? (describe) Was I lying to myself? Did I justify my actions?

How did my behavior change? In what ways?

In what areas did I lack faith or not use my Higher Powers Guidance?

In what ways did my character defects come into play? (explain/describe all areas)
Denial?
Dishonesty?
Selfishness?
Stealing? Emotional stealing others trust?
Emotional, physical, sexual, financial manipulation of others?
Distrust of self and others?
Resentments? How they affected me and what actions did I take / or not take?
Self reliance/isolation?
Blame? Who did I blame for my feelings and why?
Did I abandon myself?

In what ways did I depend on others to meet my needs?
Where did I not take responsibility for myself and my program?
In what ways did I give my power to others?

Now looking at the answers to all these questions â€“ Identify the problem areas?

List them:

What do I need to work on?
What do I need to watch for? Warning signs? Triggers?

In my best thinkingâ€¦..How could I actively stay aware and work my program differently this time? (explain/describe).

What active actions can I take to promote my recovery?

How does my behavior need to change?

How will I rely on my Higher power to help me make these changes?

How can I align my will with my Higher powers guidance?

What can I do this time that I did not do last time to ensure a stronger program.

What does a complete surrender mean to me?

Nebraska Drug News

2008-04-27T07:42:00.001-05:00

Nebraska Drug News

Volunteers and maintenance crews who clean up roadside litter are being urged to watch for potentially toxic debris discarded from methamphetamine labs.

Transportation agencies in several states and organizations that promote highway cleanups are creating brochures and DVDs to educate workers about dangers from materials used to make the drug, also known as meth or speed.

“We felt it was important to notify the public that the trash you might as a Good Samaritan be out picking up on the side of the road could possibly be dangerous to you,” says Lt. John Eichkorn of the Kansas Highway Patrol. The agency issued a news release in March that warned volunteers and highway cleanup crews.
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Bystanders who come across materials used to make the drug can be burned or their lungs damaged from inhaling fumes. Clues indicating a dumpsite include empty bottles attached to a rubber hose, the smell of ammonia and coffee filters stained red or containing a white powder residue.

Meth is a highly addictive stimulant that can be made using household chemicals and equipment and common cold remedies containing ephedrine or pseudoephedrine.

To combat the drug’s spread, most states have passed laws restricting access to those medicines, including limiting how much a customer can buy and having buyers sign a log, says Blake Harrison of the National Conference of State Legislatures. President Bush in March signed a federal law that imposes similar restrictions.

Such legislation has dramatically reduced the number of illegal meth labs found inside homes, says Ashley Cradduck, spokeswoman for Gov. Dave Heineman of Nebraska, where a law was passed last year.

Among actions:

� Keep Nebraska Beautiful, a civic group, launched an education campaign last year and created a DVD on meth litter for the thousands of 4-H clubs, Scout troops and Rotary clubs involved in cleanup efforts. “We recommend to every single group to view that video before they go out so they know how to respond,” says Jane Polson, the group’s executive director.

� Colorado’s Department of Transportation offers an instructional video warning that meth litter is “a deadly threat to all Adopt-A-Highway volunteers.” The video urges group leaders to scout areas before volunteers begin work.

“There was a need for a higher level of attention to it because I don’t think the crews really realized the risk they were in,” says Stacey Stegman, a department spokeswoman. A maintenance worker was overwhelmed two years ago by fumes from meth materials tossed in a rest stop trash bin, she says. “It burned his lungs,” she says. “He was off work for close to a month.”

Managing alcoholism as a disease

2008-04-22T09:52:00.001-05:00

The debate on whether alcoholism is a disease or a personal conduct problem has continued for over 200 years. In the United States, Benjamin Rush, MD, has been credited with first identifying alcoholism as a "disease" in 1784. He asserted that alcohol was the causal agent, loss of control over drinking behavior being the characteristic symptom, and total abstinence the only effective cure. His belief in this concept was so strong that he spearheaded a public education campaign in the United States to reduce public drunkenness.

The 1800s gave rise to the temperance movement in the United States. Alcohol was perceived as evil, the root cause of America’s problems. Accepting the disease concept of alcoholism, people believed that liquor could enslave a person against his or her will. Temperance proponents propagated the view that drinking was so dangerous that people should not even sample liquor or else they would likely embark on the path toward alcoholism. This ideology maintained that alcohol is inevitably dangerous and inexorably addictive for everyone. Today, we know that strong genetic influences exist, but not everyone becomes addicted to alcohol.

The temperance movement picked up steam in the late 1800s and evolved into a movement advocating the prohibition of alcohol nationally. Banning alcohol would preserve the family and eliminate sloth and moral dissolution in the United States, according to supporters. Backed by strong political forces, legislation was passed and prohibition went into effect in 1920. Paradoxically, the era of prohibition also marked the death of Victorian standards. According to A. Sinclair in his book, Prohibition: The Era of Excess, a code of liberated personal behavior grew and with it the idea that drinking should accompany a full life. Drunkenness represented personal freedom. Due to public outcry, prohibition was repealed in 1933.

Soon after prohibition ended, Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) was born. Formed in 1935 by stockbroker Bill Wilson and a physician, Robert Smith, AA supported the proposition that an alcoholic is unable to control his or her drinking and recovery is possible only with total abstinence and peer support. The chief innovation in the AA philosophy was that it proposed a biological explanation for alcoholism. Alcoholics constituted a special group who are unable to control their drinking from birth. Initially, AA described this as "an allergy to alcohol."

Although AA was instrumental in again emphasizing the "disease concept" of alcoholism, the defining work was done by Elvin Jellinek, M.D., of the Yale Center of Alcohol Studies. In his book, The Disease Concept of Alcoholism, published in 1960, Jellinek described alcoholics as individuals with tolerance, withdrawal symptoms, and either "loss of control" or "inability to abstain" from alcohol. He asserted that these individuals could not drink in moderation, and, with continued drinking, the disease was progressive and life-threatening. Jellinek also recognized that some features of the disease (e.g., inability to abstain and loss of control) were shaped by cultural factors.

During the past 35 years, numerous studies by behavioral and social scientists have supported Jellinek’s contentions about alcoholism as a disease. The American Medical Association endorsed the concept in 1957. The American Psychiatric Association, the American Hospital Association, the American Public Health Association, the National Association of Social Workers, the World Health Organization and the American College of Physicians have also classified alcoholism as a disease. In addition, the findings of investigators in the late 1970s led to explicit criteria for an "alcohol dependence syndrome" which are now listed in the DSM IIR, DSM IV, and the ICD manual. In a 1992 JAMA article, the Joint Committee of the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence and the American Society of Addiction Medicine published this definition for alcoholism: "Alcoholism is a primary chronic disease with genetic, psychosocial, and environmental factors influencing its development and manifestations. The disease is often progressive and fatal. It is characterized by impaired control over drinking, preoccupation with the drug alcohol, use of alcohol despite adverse consequences, and distortions in thinking, mostly denial. Each of these symptoms may be continuous or periodic."

Despite the numerous studies validating the disease model of alcoholism, controversy still exists. In his 1989 book, Diseasing of America, social psychologist Stanton Peele, Ph.D., argues that AA and for-profit alcohol treatment centers promote the "myth" of alcoholism as a lifelong disease. He contends that the disease concept "excuses alcoholics for their past, present, and future irresponsibility" and points out that most people can overcome addiction on their own. He concludes that the only effective response to alcoholism and other addictions is "to recreate living communities that nurture the human capacity to lead constructive lives."

Surprisingly, Dr. Peele’s view that alcoholism is a personal conduct problem, rather than a disease, seems to be more prevalent among medical practitioners than among the public. A recent Gallop poll found that almost 90 percent of Americans believe that alcoholism is a disease. In contrast, physicians’ views of alcoholism were reviewed at an August 1997 conference held by the International Doctors of Alcoholics Anonymous (IDAA). A survey of physicians reported at that conference found that 80 percent of responding doctors perceived alcoholism as simply bad behavior.

Dr. Raoul Walsh in an article published in the November 1995 issue of Lancet supports the contention that physicians have negative views about alcoholics. He cites empirical data showing physicians continue to have stereotypical attitudes about alcoholics and that non-psychiatrists tend to view alcohol problems as principally the concern of psychiatrists. He also contends that many doctors have negative attitudes towards patients with alcohol problems because the bulk of their clinical exposure is with late-stage alcohol dependence.

Based on my experiences working in the addiction field for the past 10 years, I believe many, if not most, health professionals still view alcohol addiction as a willpower or conduct problem and are resistant to look at it as a disease. Part of the problem is that medical schools provide little time to study alcoholism or addiction and post-graduate training usually deals only with the end result of addiction or alcohol/drug-related diseases. Several studies conducted in the late 1980s give evidence that medical students and practitioners have inadequate knowledge about alcohol and alcohol problems. Also, recent studies published in the Journal of Studies on Alcoholism indicate that physicians perform poorly in the detection, prevention and treatment of alcohol abuse.

The single most important step to overcoming these obstacles is education. Education must begin at the undergraduate level and continue throughout the training of most if not all specialties. This is especially true for those in primary care where most problems of alcoholism will first be seen. In recent years, promotion of alcohol education programs in medical schools and at the post graduate level has improved. In Pennsylvania, for example, several medical schools now offer at least one curriculum block on substance abuse. Medical specialty organizations, such as the American Society of Addiction Medicine, are focusing on increasing addiction training programs for residents, practicing physicians and students.

Also, an increasing number of hospitals have an addiction medicine specialist on staff who is available for student and resident teaching, as well as being available for in-house consultations.

The American Medical Association estimates that 25-40 percent of patients occupying general hospital beds are there for treatment of ailments that result from alcoholism. In the United States, the economic costs of alcohol abuse exceed $115 billion a year. Physicians in general practice, hospitals and specialty medicine have considerable potential to reduce the large burden of illness associated with alcohol abuse. For example, several randomized, controlled trials conducted in recent years demonstrate that brief interventions by physicians can significantly reduce the proportion of patients drinking at hazardous levels. But first, we as physicians must adjust our attitudes.

Alcoholism should not be judged as a problem of willpower, misconduct, or any other unscientific diagnosis. The problem must be accepted for what it is—a biopsychosocial disease with a strong genetic influence, obvious signs and symptoms, a natural progression and a fatal outcome if not treated. In the past 10 years, the medical profession’s and the public’s acceptance of smoking as an addictive disease has resulted in reducing nicotine use in the United States. I feel that similar strides can be made with alcohol abuse. We must begin, as we did with nicotine, by educating and convincing our own colleagues that alcoholism is a disease. We must also emphasize that physicians have played a significant role in reducing the mortality and morbidity from nicotine use through patient education. Through strong physician intervention, I believe that we can achieve similar results with alcohol abuse.

Heroin Addiction

2008-04-18T09:26:00.001-05:00

Heroin is a highly addictive drug, and Heroin Addiction is a serious problem in America. Recent studies suggest a shift from injecting heroin to snorting or smoking because of increased purity and the misconception that these forms of use will not lead to addiction.

Heroin is processed from morphine, a naturally occurring substance extracted from the seedpod of the Asian poppy plant. Heroin usually appears as a white or brown powder. Street names for heroin include “smack,” “H,” “skag,” and “junk.” Other names may refer to types of heroin produced in a specific geographical area, such as “Mexican black tar.”

What is Heroin?

Heroin is an illegal, highly addictive drug. It is both the most abused and the most rapidly acting of the opiates. Heroin is processed from morphine, a naturally occurring substance extracted from the seed pod of certain varieties of poppy plants. It is typically sold as a white or brownish powder or as the black sticky substance known on the streets as “black tar heroin.”

Although less diluted heroin is becoming more common, most street heroin is “cut” with other drugs or with substances such as sugar, starch, powdered milk, or quinine. Street heroin can also be cut with strychnine or other poisons. Because heroin abusers do not know the actual strength of the drug or its true contents, they are at risk of overdose or death. Heroin also poses special problems because of the transmission of HIV and other diseases that can occur from sharing needles or other injection equipment.

How is Heroin Used?

Heroin is usually injected, sniffed/snorted, or smoked. Typically, a heroin abuser may inject up to four times a day. Intravenous injection provides the greatest intensity and most rapid onset of euphoria (7 to 8 seconds), while intramuscular injection produces a relatively slow onset of euphoria (5 to 8 minutes). When heroin is sniffed or smoked, peak effects are usually felt within 10 to 15 minutes. Although smoking and sniffing heroin do not produce a “rush” as quickly or as intensely as intravenous injection, NIDA researchers have confirmed that all three forms of heroin administration are addictive.

Injection continues to be the predominant method of heroin use among addicted users seeking treatment; however, researchers have observed a shift in heroin use patterns, from injection to sniffing and smoking. In fact, sniffing/snorting heroin is now the most widely reported means of taking heroin among users admitted for drug treatment in Newark, Chicago, and New York.

With the shift in heroin abuse patterns comes an even more diverse group of users. Older users (over 30) continue to be one of the largest user groups in most national data. However, the increase continues in new, young users across the country who are being lured by inexpensive, high-purity heroin that can be sniffed or smoked instead of injected. Heroin has also been appearing in more affluent communities.

Consequences of Heroin Use

Short-Term Effects

“Rush”
Depressed respiration
Clouded mental functioning
Nausea and vomiting
Suppression of pain
Spontaneous abortion

Long-Term Effects

Addiction
Infectious diseases, for example, HIV/AIDS and hepatitis B and C
Collapsed veins
Bacterial infections
Abscesses
Infection of heart lining and valves
Arthritis and other rheumatologic problems

Medical consequences of chronic heroin abuse include scarred and/or collapsed veins, bacterial infections of the blood vessels and heart valves, abscesses (boils) and other soft-tissue infections, and liver or kidney disease. Lung complications (including various types of pneumonia and tuberculosis) may result from the poor health condition of the abuser as well as from heroin’s depressing effects on respiration. Many of the additives in street heroin may include substances that do not readily dissolve and result in clogging the blood vessels that lead to the lungs, liver, kidneys, or brain. This can cause infection or even death of small patches of cells in vital organs. Immune reactions to these or other contaminants can cause arthritis or other rheumatologic problems.

Of course, sharing of injection equipment or fluids can lead to some of the most severe consequences of heroin abuse-infections with hepatitis B and C, HIV, and a host of other blood-borne viruses, which drug abusers can then pass on to their sexual partners and children.

Heroin abuse can cause serious complications during pregnancy, including miscarriage and premature delivery. Children born to addicted mothers are at greater risk of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome), as well. Pregnant women should not be detoxified from opiates because of the increased risk of spontaneous abortion or premature delivery; rather, treatment with methadone is strongly advised. Although infants born to mothers taking prescribed methadone may show signs of physical dependence, they can be treated easily and safely in the nursery. Research has demonstrated also that the effects of in utero exposure to methadone are relatively benign.

What are the Treatments for Heroin Addiction?

A variety of effective treatments are available for heroin addiction. Treatment tends to be more effective when heroin abuse is identified early. The treatments that follow vary depending on the individual, but methadone, a synthetic opiate that blocks the effects of heroin and eliminates withdrawal symptoms, has a proven record of success for people addicted to heroin. Other pharmaceutical approaches, like LAAM (levo-alpha-acetyl-methadol) and buprenorphine, and many behavioral therapies also are used for treating heroin addiction.

Detoxification

The primary objective of detoxification is to relieve withdrawal symptoms while patients adjust to a drug-free state. Not in itself a treatment for addiction, detoxification is a useful step only when it leads into long-term treatment that is either drug-free (residential or outpatient) or uses medications as part of the treatment. The best documented drug-free treatments are the therapeutic community residential programs lasting at least 3 to 6 months.

Methadone programs

Methadone treatment has been used effectively and safely to treat opioid addiction for more than 30 years. Properly prescribed methadone is not intoxicating or sedating, and its effects do not interfere with ordinary activities such as driving a car. The medication is taken orally and it suppresses narcotic withdrawal for 24 to 36 hours. Patients are able to perceive pain and have emotional reactions. Most important, methadone relieves the craving associated with heroin addiction; craving is a major reason for relapse. Among methadone patients, it has been found that normal street doses of heroin are ineffective at producing euphoria, thus making the use of heroin more easily extinguishable.

Methadone’s effects last for about 24 hours - four to six times as long as those of heroin - so people in treatment need to take it only once a day. Also, methadone is medically safe even when used continuously for 10 years or more. Combined with behavioral therapies or counseling and other supportive services, methadone enables patients to stop using heroin (and other opiates) and return to more stable and productive lives.

Methadone dosages must be carefully monitored in patients who are receiving antiviral therapy for HIV infection, to avoid potential medication interactions.

LAAM and other medications

LAAM, like methadone, is a synthetic opiate that can be used to treat heroin addiction. LAAM can block the effects of heroin for up to 72 hours with minimal side effects when taken orally. In 1993 the Food and Drug Administration approved the use of LAAM for treating patients addicted to heroin. Its long duration of action permits dosing just three times per week, thereby eliminating the need for daily dosing and take-home doses for weekends. LAAM will be increasingly available in clinics that already dispense methadone. Naloxone and naltrexone are medications that also block the effects of morphine, heroin, and other opiates. As antagonists, they are especially useful as antidotes. Naltrexone has long-lasting effects, ranging from 1 to 3 days, depending on the dose. Naltrexone blocks the pleasurable effects of heroin and is useful in treating some highly motivated individuals. Naltrexone has also been found to be successful in preventing relapse by former opiate addicts released from prison on probation.

Another medication to treat heroin addiction, buprenorphine, may already be available by the time this Research Report appears. Buprenorphine is a particularly attractive treatment because, compared to other medications, such as methadone, it causes weaker opiate effects and is less likely to cause overdose problems. Buprenorphine also produces a lower level of physical dependence, so patients who discontinue the medication generally have fewer withdrawal symptoms than do those who stop taking methadone. Because of these advantages, buprenorphine may be appropriate for use in a wider variety of treatment settings than the currently available medications. Several other medications with potential for treating heroin overdose or addiction are currently under investigation by NIDA.

Behavioral therapies

Although behavioral and pharmacologic treatments can be extremely useful when employed alone, science has taught us that integrating both types of treatments will ultimately be the most effective approach. There are many effective behavioral treatments available for heroin addiction. These can include residential and outpatient approaches. An important task is to match the best treatment approach to meet the particular needs of the patient. Moreover, several new behavioral therapies, such as contingency management therapy and cognitive-behavioral interventions, show particular promise as treatments for heroin addiction. Contingency management therapy uses a voucher-based system, where patients earn ÒpointsÓ based on negative drug tests, which they can exchange for items that encourage healthy living. Cognitive-behavioral interventions are designed to help modify the patient’s thinking, expectancies, and behaviors and to increase skills in coping with various life stressors. Both behavioral and pharmacological treatments help to restore a degree of normalcy to brain function and behavior, with increased employment rates and lower risk of HIV and other diseases and criminal behavior.

What are the Opioid Analogs and their Dangers?

Drug analogs are chemical compounds that are similar to other drugs in their effects but differ slightly in their chemical structure. Some analogs are produced by pharmaceutical companies for legitimate medical reasons. Other analogs, sometimes referred to as “designer” drugs, can be produced in illegal laboratories and are often more dangerous and potent than the original drug. Two of the most commonly known opioid analogs are fentanyl and meperidine (marketed under the brand name Demerol, for example).

Fentanyl was introduced in 1968 by a Belgian pharmaceutical company as a synthetic narcotic to be used as an analgesic in surgical procedures because of its minimal effects on the heart. Fentanyl is particularly dangerous because it is 50 times more potent than heroin and can rapidly stop respiration. This is not a problem during surgical procedures because machines are used to help patients breathe. On the street, however, users have been found dead with the needle used to inject the drug still in their arms.

Character Defects

2008-04-15T06:25:00.001-05:00

Step 4 Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Step Four as used my Alcoholics anonymous Narcotics anonymous Cocaine anonymous Overeaters anonymous Emotions anoymous Al-anon Sex and love addicts anonymous Gamblers anonymous recovery program. Step four, Took a fearless moral inventory, 12 step recovery program.

Doing this step four I can write honestly, it made me realise why I had suffered, and what the cause of that suffering was!

Moral means; " A standard". So I had to look at my standards for myself, and the standards I had set other people (THE CAUSE OF SO MUCH RESENTMENT).

My sponsor suggested that I list all of my guilt’s, resentments, fears and sexual conduct because between these I would find the cause of my emotional pain or spiritual dis-ease, call it what you will.

Why do this step?. Well, if you are a product of your past and you are unhappy now, then something has gone wrong in the past!. If you have spent, drank, used drugs, eaten to get away from bad feelings, then it is suggested you look at the cause of these bad feelings.

There is a cliché that says, “The straw that broke the camels back”. Well, taking a fearless moral inventory takes straws off our backs; it makes life less of a burden. It lightens the load!.

When you are full of resentment it is like farting, everyone close to you gets a whiff!.

But when you are on a spiritual path it is like wearing a lovely perfume, everyone close to you gets a whiff!.

The idea of a fearless moral inventory is to start to see what is in our character that causes triggers for resentment, guilt, and fear from other people to us or us to other people.

It is about learning not to over react!. A word that flies off the tongue is like an arrow leaving a bow for a target!.

If you are an angry or resentful person then the following list of defects of character are the cause of your pain!. Without these defects you will have peace of mind!.

Simple!. Learn the cause and effect, and then learn to practice opposites, result peace of mind; and that is what it is all about. Practice opposites.

The following defects are the cause of resentment, anger and hatred. Anger is not a defect of character. If someone attacks you, you have to be angry to save your life!. But if your anger is caused by one of the following defects of character, then that is self-righteous anger which means that we will always suffer, until we see the true cause of our Dis-ease. For Books About Step 4 Click here

THE CAUSE OF SUFFERING OR DEFECTS OF CHARACTER.

PRIDE – HIGH OPINION OF ONES OWN QUALITIES, MERITS OR CONDUCT.

Does pride stop you saying sorry, or asking for help?

Does your pride say “The best way not to fail, is not to try?”

A prisoner of peoples opinions that can lead us to overreact, or not to do anything because of “what will people will think”.

Healthy price, makes us act in a way that is caring to ourselves and other people. It is a good sense of well being knowing that you have tried your best (you may of even failed, but you tried!).

IMPATIENCE – Not enduring!. Wanting everything now.

HEALTHY IMPATIENCE – When your sick of being the way you are! And want to change now!

INTOLERANCE – Not able to endure opinions, beliefs, or actions.

HEALTHY INTOLERANCE – When your endurance of your habit, drinking, taking drugs or letting people walk all over you stops!

ENVY – Resentful of more fortunate people. Their health, looks, intelligence or ways.

HEALTHY ENVY – When it turns to admiration!

JEALOUSY – The fear of being out done, suspicious, dislike of someone who you see as better than you, wealthy, women, looks. The fear of being replaced by another! Seeing people as rivals.

HEALTHY JEALOUSY - Makes you treat people well!, or they will go elsewhere.

SELFISHNESS - Doing your own desires or interests without caring how it effects other peoples emotions or life.

HEALTHY SELFISHNESS - Doing what’s best for you! Not being a prisoner of peoples opinions.

SELF-PITY - A feeling of being hard done by!. Poor me.

HEALTHY SELF PITY - “People have hurt me, people have used me, people have stolen from me, people have abused me, but I am not going to resent, I am going to enjoy life and learn from the experience of the past".

SELF-CENTEREDNESS - Pre-occupied with your own ways and actions, not caring about other people.

HEALTHY SELF

CENTEREDNESS - When you stop being a door mat, and stand up for what is right for you!

ARROGANCE - I am right and you are wrong! Tending never to listen, but to argue, and to believe that you are always right. What is an argument? A billion ways to say “I am right and you are wrong”.

HEALTHY ARROGANCE - What you think of me does not matter, humility when you think, “Does it matter?”.

SLOTH - Slow or absence of activity. When actions should be done.

HEALTHY SLOTH - Taking time out of the rat race and relaxing, meditating, contemplating!

DISHONESTY - DECEITFULNESS, FRAUDULENT, LACK OF HONOUR (before you resent, ask, “Have I ever done anything similar in my life for what I am going to resent that person for?”)

HEALTHY DISHONESTY - Is when a friend says “Do you think that I am fat and ugly?” and you say “No!”, even though you know different.

LUST - Animal desire for sexual indulgence!. To want passionately.

HEALTHY LUST - I want peace of mind, I want to live a blameless life!. Or a romantic weekend.

GREED - To want more than is needed.

HEALTHY GREED - To have peace of mind, and to then want more.

INTO ACTION

It is best to start with listing your resentments, my sponsor suggested to do it this way. List each resentment separately, never write the word "and" (between each resentment) because it is another resentment.

List Each Resentment For Books About Resentment Click here

WHO

WHY

DEFECTS

This after listing MY defects here I started to see how much power I had given people!. I started to see that it is not the action of other people, but MY reaction is the cause of your resentment/emotional pain.

Remember that "moral" means standards you have from yourself or other people.

A FEW EXAMPLES OT TAKING A MORAL INVENTORY

RESENTMENT

WHO

John WHY

He chatted my wife up

DEFECTS

Self Pity (How could he do that to me?).

Jealousy (The fear of being replaced by another).

Dishonesty (Have I ever chatted anyone up? Have I ever been unfaithful?).

This resentment can be undone by thinking “Is my wife with me now?”.

“Well, to be honest, I have chatted up other men’s wives and girlfriends”.

RESENTMENT

WHO

Fred

WHY

He came into work late, he is always doing it, I have to do more work and the boss gets angry

DEFECTS

Impatience, Self Pity, Dishonesty.

Impatience – I want him to be on time

Self Pity – Poor me

Dishonesty – Have I ever been late?

RESENTMENT

WHO

Mary

WHY

She dumped me for someone else

DEFECTS

Self Pity, Pride, Self-centredness, Dishonesty.

Self Pity – Poor me, how could she doe that to me?.

Pride – What will people think?.

Dishonesty – Have I ever finished with anyone?.

Self-Centeredness – You are only thinking of your happiness, in fact you want to take her prisoner!.

If you look at this resentment you will see the cause of the reaction, I resented Mary because she finished with me, but had I ever finished a relationship?, Yes, would I have liked her to resent you? Would you have wanted her to put emotional handcuffs on you?, No. Then don’t do it to her!.

Dishonesty is resenting someone for something that you have done yourself.

When you look at the right hand column you start to see the real problem and that peace of mind will not come if you hang on to your resentments. Practice the opposite of the defect box and peace and freedom will flow in!.

In short, I may of had the worst childhood, or the worst parents/wife/girlfriend. They may have abused me psychologically or sexually by resenting, by hating them, they are still abusing me!. We have to learn to accept our past. That does not mean I agree, but I stop hurting myself by making the mind spin around by wanting my life to be different!. That is the cause of my emotion, wishing it had been different.

Again I had to learn that if I wanted peace of mind, acceptance is the key to the doorway that will lead me out of misery!. I owe it to myself to let the past go.

If someone walked into the room now and hit you on the head with a hammer and then dropped the hammer on the floor and ran out, would you pick the hammer up and carry on hitting yourself, no, it would be madness, but with resentment we do carry on doing it to ourselves. Remember, resentment means to re-feel!! So we re-feel every time we hate them, resent them, despise them or want to get back at them. They have won!. You are still suffering. Ask yourself how many weeks, months, years that you have had this resentment! Let it go.

If you hair went on fire now you would rush to water and put the fire out. But because of your instincts to survive or self preserve would kick in and take over. But with resentment we watch the fire and blame someone for lighting it!. They are at fault, look what they did to me all those years ago.

see http://www.the12steps.com

FEAR It was suggested to me that I should list all of my fears. Just like I did my resentments.

FEARS

People

Death

WHY

I think they will see me blush

I don’t want to die

DEFECTS

Pride, Self Pity!, Arrogance

Pride – What people think of me?.

Self Pity – They will laugh at me and I will run away.

Arrogance - Who am I to be laughed at?.

Self Pity

Self Pity – Poor me, I am going to die.

This is one of the biggest fears I have come access in my time whilst going through and doing the steps with people.

Self-Pity is the trigger!.

Acceptance sets you free. Think that every time you become obsessed with death, you are killing your joy for life. Say to yourself, “Am I alive now?”.- If you are, enjoy your life, help people, try and get out of self-obsession.

A Buddhist way of getting over the fear of death is by meditation on your own death. We will cover this in step 11.

I once said to a Buddhist monk, “I am scared of dying, what can I do?”. He said “You are going to be very disappointed one day!” That was my answer, ACCEPTANCE.

SEXUAL CONDUCT

It was suggested to me that I list all of my sexual exploits and see if my pursuit of sex had lead me to be selfish, dishonest, had it caused resentment – had I taken chances where I could of caught some dis-ease, had I effected my dignity or someone else's?.

The idea behind this is to look, and to see that a bit of hugging, puffing and a few squelching noises, I put a lot of effort into the pursuit of it.

In short list, your sexual exploits and weigh it up.

If you are frigid, talk about!.

GUILT

It was suggested to me that I list all of my guilt's. When I wrote them down it seemed that I resented myself!. I could write forever about guilt, but I will keep it very short.

I wrote my guilt’s down. I soon learnt that "Guilty" was not a punishment from God, but a feeling that was telling me that what I did in the past was not my true character, if it had of been, I would not be feeling guilty!. So I became willing to make amends (See Steps 8 and 9) and that I did.

Guilt is alright before the event when the head thinks “If I do that I will not feel right because I will hurt someone”. So that is what guilt is about, stopping you doing something that will cause harm. So look at your guilt's. Make amends, where needed and forget it!. (I bet your thinking, "It's alright for you, but if you had my Catholic, Jewish, Muslim etc, guilt", you would be tormented). Well I was tortured by guilt but I am not now!. Why, because I did what my sponsor said, and truly realised that guilt was not a punishment but a feeling telling me that what I did at that time was a combination of what was going on in my life at that time!. It was telling me it was not my true character!

In short, drop your guilt as you would a ton weight on your shoulders, because the longer you carry it the more damage it does, and in the end you will buckle under the weight.

http://www.the12steps.com

I am known by in the 12 step fellowships I belong to as soldier Billy. I am a recovering alcoholic and addict. I owe my life to the 12 step recovery program. I have been through some very tough times of late and I have not relapsed back into addiction thanks to the help of the 12 steps and some great members of the fellowships I belong to! I have lived a tough life amd know heartache. The 12 steps has helped me to rebuild my life and find some peace of mind.

Reservations

2008-04-08T20:48:00.001-05:00

Reservations

First of Let us first start with a definition of this word in the aspect in which we are stating. 1. The act of reserving; a keeping back or withholding. 2. Something that is kept back or withheld. 3. A limiting qualification, condition, or exception: has reservations about the proposal

When I looked this up, I thought about the part where it said the condition of something. Which is in my own opinion the part that most of us addicts/alcoholics have. This made perfect sense to me when I took a little time to look back at some of my reservations that I have had through not only my life up until this point and time but also it made me look to see if I in fact have any reservations today in my life that would keep me from having continuous sobriety.

Such as, "Well if my Sister dies because of her health and leaves me, I might as well get high because she is the one that really made the statement which has helped me to stay clean up until this point. Why would I need to stay clean now if she is dead!" Or, "My children don't spend the time with me that I think that they should be so maybe I should just get high, no reason to stay clean if I can not have them more active in my life." Those things are the things that would be putting a condition on me staying clean. Once I do that I would be in a world of hurt because I know that those things are false even if they would portray to be true in my own head and my own thinking.

One thing is for sure that we need to keep our guard up on those thing that would have us to go back to the active addiction that we come from, no matter what that is classified as. Most addicts also in my opinion have a problem when it comes to the sex issue. Most don't want to talk about it either, however this issue is one in my own experience has caused a great deal of reservations within my sobriety. In my addiction the drugs/alcohol and women came hand in hand. Eventually the only reason that I would use is to have sex. That was one of the pleasures that the active addiction gave to me. I so many times would see someone who I would be attracted to and would end up going to get a bag of dope so I could in fact be more open with them and of course to seduce them into having sex with the dope. Most of the time it didn't work out that way but those are the reservations that I have had to come into grip with for my own clean time

Reservations can be anything and everything. The first thing we need to do is to acknowledge them and to own them as to who or what we are. Once we can do this, and only when we do this are we finally able to break free from them and than the process of recovery begins. Once we do get rid of those reservations or conditions, than and only than can we achieve staying sober Just For Today

Love

2008-04-05T06:27:00.000-05:00

Scientific views

Main article: Love (scientific views)

Throughout history, philosophy and religion have done the most speculation on the phenomenon of love. In the last century, the science of psychology has written a great deal on the subject. In recent years, the sciences of evolutionary psychology, evolutionary biology, anthropology, neuroscience, and biology have added to the understanding of the nature and function of love.

Chemistry

Biological models of sex tend to view love as a mammalian drive, much like hunger or thirst.[3] Helen Fisher, a leading expert in the topic of love, divides the experience of love into three partly-overlapping stages: lust, attraction, and attachment. Lust exposes people to others, romantic attraction encourages people to focus their energy on mating, and attachment involves tolerating the spouse long enough to rear a child into infancy.

Lust is the initial passionate sexual desire that promotes mating, and involves the increased release of chemicals such as testosterone and estrogen. These effects rarely last more than a few weeks or months. Attraction is the more individualized and romantic desire for a specific candidate for mating, which develops out of lust as commitment to an individual mate forms. Recent studies in neuroscience have indicated that as people fall in love, the brain consistently releases a certain set of chemicals, including pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin, which act similar to amphetamines, stimulating the brain’s pleasure center and leading to side-effects such as an increased heart rate, loss of appetite and sleep, and an intense feeling of excitement. Research has indicated that this stage generally lasts from one and a half to three years.[4]

Since the lust and attraction stages are both considered temporary, a third stage is needed to account for long-term relationships. Attachment is the bonding which promotes relationships that last for many years, and even decades. Attachment is generally based on commitments such as marriage and children, or on mutual friendship based on things like shared interests. It has been linked to higher levels of the chemicals oxytocin and vasopressin than short-term relationships have.[4]

In 2005, Italian scientists at Pavia University found that a protein molecule known as the nerve growth factor (NGF) has high levels when people first fall in love, but these levels return to as they were after one year. Specifically, four neurotrophin levels, i.e. NGF, BDNF, NT-3, and NT-4, of 58 subjects who had recently fallen in love were compared with levels in a control group who were either single or already engaged in a long-term relationship. The results showed that NGF levels were significantly higher in the subjects in love than as compared to either of the control groups.[5]

Psychology

Further information: Human bonding

Psychology depicts love as a cognitive and social phenomenon. Psychologist Robert Sternberg formulated a triangular theory of love and argued that love has three different components: intimacy, commitment, and passion. Intimacy is a form by which two people can share secrets and various details of their personal lives. Intimacy is usually shown in friendships and romantic love affairs. Commitment, on the other hand, is the expectation that the relationship is going to last forever. The last and most common form of love is sexual attraction and passion. Passionate love is shown in infatuation as well as romantic love.

Following developments in electrical theories, such as Coulomb’s law, which showed that positive and negative charges attract, analogs in human life were developed, such as “opposites attract”. Over the last century, research on the nature of human mating has generally found this not to be true when it comes to character and personality; people tend to like people like themselves. However, in a few unusual and specific domains, such as immune systems, it seems that humans prefer others who are unlike themselves (e.g. with an orthogonal immune system), since this will lead to a baby which has the best of both worlds.[6] In recent years, various human bonding theories have been developed described in terms of attachments, ties, bonds, and affinities.

Some Western authorities disaggregate into two main components, the altruistic and the narcissistic. This view is represented in the works of Scott Peck, whose works in the field of applied psychology explored the definitions of love and evil. Peck maintains that love is a combination of the “concern for the spiritual growth of another”, and simple narcissism.[7] In combination, love is an activity, not simply a feeling.

Scientific models

Biological models of love tend to see it as a mammalian drive, just like hunger or thirst. Psychology sees love as more of a social and cultural phenomenon. There are probably elements of truth in both views — certainly love is influenced by hormones (such as oxytocin), neurotrophins (such as NGF), and pheromones, and how people think and behave in love is influenced by their conceptions of love.

The conventional view in biology is that there are two major drives in love — sexual attraction and attachment. Attachment between adults is presumed to work on the same principles that lead an infant to become attached to its mother. The traditional psychological view sees love as being a combination of companionate love and passionate love. Passionate love is intense longing, and is often accompanied by physiological arousal (shortness of breath, rapid heart rate). Companionate love is affection and a feeling

Young Adult Drinking

2008-04-02T21:09:00.001-05:00

Too often today’s headlines bring news of yet another alcohol-related tragedy involving a young person—a case of fatal alcohol poisoning on a college campus or a late-night drinking–driving crash. People ages 18 to 25 often are in the news, but are they really at higher risk than anyone else for problems involving alcohol?

Some of the most important new data to emerge on young adult drinking were collected through a recent nationwide survey, the National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions (NESARC). According to these data, in 2001–2002 about 70 percent of young adults in the United States, or about 19 million people, consumed alcohol in the year preceding the survey.

It’s not only that young people are drinking but the way they drink that puts them at such high risk for alcohol-related problems. Research consistently shows that people tend to drink the heaviest in their late teens and early to mid-twenties (1,2). Young adults are especially likely to binge drink and to drink heavily¹ (3). (¹ In this study, binge drinking was defined as consuming five or more drinks in a row at least once in the past month. Drinking heavily was defined as consuming five or more drinks in a row on at least five occasions in the past month [3].) According to NESARC data, about 46 percent of young adults (12.4 million) engaged in drinking that exceeded the recommended daily limits² at least once in the past year, and 14.5 percent (3.9 million) had an average consumption that exceeded the recommended weekly limits.³ (² The recommended daily limits for moderate alcohol consumption are no more than two drinks for men or one drink for women per day [4].) (³ According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism [NIAAA], men may be at risk for alcohol-related problems if their alcohol consumption exceeds 14 standard drinks per week or 4 drinks per day, and women may be at risk if they have more than 7 standard drinks per week or 3 drinks per day. A standard drink is defined as one 12-ounce bottle of beer, one 5-ounce glass of wine, or 1.5 ounces of distilled spirits.)

Such risky drinking often leads to tragic consequences (5)—most notably alcohol-related traffic fatalities (6). Thirty-two percent of drivers ages 16–20 who died in traffic crashes in 2003 had measurable alcohol in their blood, and 51 percent of drivers ages 21–24 who died tested positive for alcohol (7). Clearly, then, young adult drinkers pose a serious public health threat, putting themselves and others at risk.

AN AGE OF EXPLORATION

Young adulthood is a stage of life marked by change and exploration. People move out of their parents’ homes and into dormitories or houses with peers. They go to college, begin to work full-time, and form serious relationships. They explore their own identities and how they fit in the world. The roles of parents weaken and the influences of peers gain greater strength. Young adults are on their own for the first time, free to make their own decisions, including the decision to drink alcohol.

Young adulthood also is the time during which young people obtain the education and training they need for future careers. Mastery of these endeavors is vital to future success; problems with school and work can produce frustration and stress, which can lead to a variety of unhealthy behaviors, including increased drinking. Conversely, alcohol use during this important time of transition can impede the successful mastery of these developmental tasks (8), also increasing stress.

ALCOHOL AND THE MATURING BRAIN

Research shows that the brain continues to develop throughout adolescence and well into young adulthood. Many scientists are concerned that drinking during this critical developmental period may lead to lifelong impairments in brain function, particularly as it relates to memory, motor skills, and coordination (9). Young adults are particularly likely to binge drink⁴ and to suffer repeated bouts of withdrawal from alcohol. (⁴ NIAAA defines binge drinking as consuming about four drinks for men or three drinks for women in about 2 hours.) This repeated withdrawal may be a key reason for alcohol’s harmful effects on the brain (10).

Even though research shows that drinking early in life can lead to impairment of brain function in adulthood, findings also show that not all young people who drink heavily or become alcohol dependent will experience the same level of impairment, and some may not show any damage at all (11). This is because factors such as genetics, drinking patterns, and the use of other drugs also influence risk.

FACTORS THAT INFLUENCE USE

Outside influences as well as individual characteristics help determine whether a person will begin drinking and how much he or she will consume. Some of these factors increase a person’s risk for problems with alcohol, whereas others serve to protect him or her from harm, as outlined below.

Gender—Men are much more likely than women to drink in ways that are harmful. As shown in a recent national survey of 19- to 30-year-olds, 45 percent of men and 26.7 percent of women reported heavy drinking (defined in that study as five or more drinks on one occasion) in the past 2 weeks, and 7.4 percent of men and 3 percent of women reported daily drinking (12).

Race/Ethnicity

Racial, ethnic, and cultural differences in drinking and alcohol-related problems also have been documented. In general, White and Native American young adults drink more than African Americans and Asians, and drinking rates for Hispanics fall in the middle. In addition, while drinking among Whites tends to peak around ages 19–22, heavy drinking among African Americans and Hispanics peaks later and persists longer into adulthood (13). Researchers suggest that these ethnic differences result, in part, from the fact that Whites see heavy drinking as part of a youthful lifestyle, whereas Hispanics tend to see heavy drinking as a “right” they earn when they reach maturity.

College vs. Noncollege Status

Many people think that the college campus environment itself encourages heavy drinking (14). Alcohol use is present at most college social functions, and many students view college as a place to drink excessively. Yet several studies have found that heavy drinking and related problems are pervasive among people in their early twenties, regardless of whether they attend college or not (15,16). In fact, a recent survey shows that college students drink less frequently than their noncollege peers (that is, 3.7 percent of students report daily drinking vs. 4.5 percent of nonstudents). However, when students do drink, such as at parties on the weekends, they tend to drink in greater quantities than nonstudents⁵ (17). (⁵ In this study, 41.7 percent of college students vs. 37.1 percent of young adults reported drinking five or more drinks during the last 2 weeks [17].)

On the other hand, students tend to stop these drinking practices more quickly than nonstudents—perhaps “maturing out” of harmful alcohol use before it becomes a long-term problem (16). Rates of alcohol dependence diagnosis appear lower for college students than for 18- to 24-year-olds in the general population (15). And people in their thirties who did not go to college reported a higher prevalence of heavy drinking than people who did go to college (18).

Employment

Being employed full-time after high school was associated with a slight increase in current drinking and a slight decrease in heavy drinking. Unemployed men, but not women, especially tended to reduce their drinking. Homemakers reduced both their current and heavy drinking, but this may have been because of increasing responsibilities stemming from marital and parental roles rather than the result of being a homemaker (19).

Military Service

Young adults in the military are more likely to drink heavily (i.e., consume five or more drinks per typical drinking occasion at least once a week) than older enlistees. In 2002, 27 percent of adults ages 18 to 25 in the military reported heavy drinking, compared with only 8.9 percent of those ages 26 to 55 (20). The reasons for heavy drinking rates in the military include a workplace culture that supports alcohol use and the increased availability of alcohol both in and around military bases (21).

Peer Influences

People entering college or the workforce may be especially vulnerable to the influence of peers because of their need to make new friendships. And they may increase their drinking in order to gain acceptance by peers. Borsari and Carey (22) contend that peer influence is exerted directly (in the form of drink offers or urges to drink) and indirectly (by modeling perceived social norms).

The phenomenon of perceived social norms—or the belief that “everyone” is drinking and drinking is acceptable—is one of the strongest correlates of drinking among young adults, and the subject of considerable research (15). Many college students think campus attitudes are much more permissive toward drinking than they really are and believe other students drink much more than they actually do (22–24). Recent research has shown that addressing these misperceptions can help reduce drinking (24). Then again, the relationship between drinking practices and peer groups may not be so clear. That is, a young person may opt to join a peer group based on that group’s drinking practices rather than change his or her drinking behavior to fit in with a particular peer group (25).

Marriage and Parenthood

Just as the move to adulthood leads to greater exploration of the world and experimentation with alcohol, assuming adult roles and responsibilities consistently curbs alcohol use. This reduction in drinking may be a result of limitations that adult roles place on social activities in general or may reflect a change in these young adults’ attitudes toward drinking.

Young married women have the greatest decreases in drinking behavior, and married men, compared with men in all other categories of living arrangements (i.e., living with parents, in a dormitory, alone, or in other arrangements) have the fewest increases. The data also indicate that becoming engaged (i.e., making a commitment to a relationship) has a similar but less powerful effect on drinking compared with marriage, whereas becoming divorced leads to increased drinking behavior (19).

Being a parent also is related to lower alcohol use for both men and women, although a large part of this effect may simply be a result of getting married. Most women who became pregnant eliminate their alcohol use, although most of their husbands do not (19).

Young adults with serious alcohol problems—that is, who fit the diagnostic criteria for alcohol dependence—may not be as likely to choose stable roles such as marriage and parenthood, or these milestones may not affect their drinking behavior to the same extent that they affect people with less problematic drinking practices (26).

Personality Characteristics

A number of personality traits have been associated with drinking greater amounts of alcohol and drinking more often, including impulsivity, risk-taking, and sensation-seeking—or the tendency to seek out new and exciting experiences (27). Sensation-seeking and impulsivity also have been linked to deviant behavior and nonconformity, both of which are predictors of heavy drinking and related problems among youth (28).

Then there are other personality traits, such as a feeling of invincibility, that are common among young adults (27) and which can influence drinking. Many young people simply do not see themselves as vulnerable to any negative consequences that might occur because of drinking, such as having an accident or becoming dependent on alcohol. This optimistic bias makes young adults more likely to take risks and perhaps to drink excessively, although risk-taking may not be a direct cause of drinking. That is, research shows that the decision to drink is influenced more by the perceived benefits of drinking than by the perceived risks (29).

Negative moods, feelings of depression, and anxiety disorders also may influence alcohol use (15). Research has suggested that some people drink to relieve feelings of stress. In support of this, Cooper and colleagues (30) found that drinking to cope with negative feelings was a good predictor of heavy drinking as well as drinking problems in 19- to 25-year-olds. Again, though, research also shows that young adults are more likely to drink for “positive” or celebratory reasons than to drink to cope with negative feelings (31).

Alcohol Expectancies

Positive alcohol expectancies, or the belief that drinking will lead to positive, pleasurable experiences, play a key role in the drinking behavior of young adults. What a person expects from drinking not only predicts when he or she will begin drinking but also how much he or she will drink throughout young adulthood. As people age through adolescence and into young adulthood, they increasingly expect benefits from drinking and become less convinced of the risks (32,33).

Family Influences

During young adulthood parents may have less direct influence on their children’s drinking behavior, but they still play a major protective role (32). The example set by parents with their own drinking has been shown to affect their children’s drinking throughout their lifetime (34). Young people model their behavior after their parents’ patterns of consumption (including quantity and frequency), situations and contexts of use, attitudes regarding use, and expectancies. The family’s structure and aspects of the parent–child relationship (e.g., parenting style, attachment and bonding, nurturance, abuse or neglect, conflict, discipline, and monitoring) also have been linked to young people’s alcohol use (34).

Genetics

Alcohol problems seem to “run” in some families (34). This family connection to alcoholism may be the result of a genetic link and/or may reflect the child’s modeling of drinking behavior. Siblings also can influence drinking through modeling and by providing access to alcohol (32). It’s unclear whether children of alcoholics have different drinking patterns and problems in young adulthood than those who do not have a family history of alcoholism (15). Research does show, however, that people with a family history of alcoholism are less likely than those with no family history to mature out of heavy drinking as they approach young adulthood (35).

To better understand the role of genetics in alcohol abuse and alcoholism, scientists are looking at differences (or variants) in particular genes to see if they can be linked to drinking behavior. One study examined how gene variants linked to the regulation of serotonin—a key brain chemical involved in mood, appetite, emotion, and addiction, among other processes—influenced drinking behavior in college students. This study found that White students with a particular version of this gene engaged in binge drinking more often, drank to intoxication more often, and consumed more alcoholic drinks per drinking occasion than did students with other variants of the gene (36).

Another study focused on the gene that helps to form an enzyme (aldehyde dehydrogenase or ALDH) that is important for breaking down alcohol in the body. This study reported that Asian American college students who carried a particular version of the ALDH gene which results in less efficient alcohol breakdown were less likely to be regular drinkers and engage in binge-drinking episodes; they also reported a lower number of maximum drinks consumed in a 24-hour period than Asian students with other ALDH variants (37).

These studies are being complemented by large-scale efforts to identify genes that contribute to alcoholism. One of these projects, funded by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, is the Collaborative Study on the Genetics of Alcoholism (COGA). COGA researchers recently published reports of several genes associated with alcohol dependence in adults (38–40), and some of these findings already have been replicated by other investigators (41–43). The next step will be to determine whether these same genes are relevant to drinking behavior in adolescents and young adults.

April Fools Day

2008-04-01T16:52:00.001-05:00

April Fool’s Day, or All Fools’ Day, is a holiday celebrated in many countries on April 1. The custom of playing practical jokes on friends was part of the celebrations in ancient Rome on March 25 (Hilaria) and in India on March 31 (Huli). The timing seems related to the vernal equinox and the coming of spring-a time when nature fools us with sudden changes between showers and sunshine.

The day is celebrated by the execution of hoaxes and practical jokes of varying sophistication with the goal of publicly embarrassing the gullible. Pranks are suppose to end by noon and those done afterwards are suppose to bring bad luck to the perpetrator. Some sources say that the special meaning of April 1 originates in the French change to the Gregorian calendar ordered by King Charles IX of France in 1582. Before that, New Year was celebrated from March 25 to April 1. With the change of the calendar system, New Year was “moved” to January 1. People who forgot or didn’t accept the new date system were given invitations to nonexistent parties, funny gifts, etc.

In France, the victim of a joke is called an “April Fish” (poisson d’avril). In England, tricks can be played only in the morning. If a trick is played on you, you are a “noodle”. In Scotland, you are called an “April gowk”, which is another name for a cuckoo bird. In Portugal, April Fool’s is celebrated on the Sunday and Monday before Lent. The traditional trick there is to throw flour at your friends. Humor and practical jokes are universal.

Some media organisations have either unwittingly or deliberately propagated many hoaxes. Even normally serious news media consider April Fools’ Day hoaxes fair game, and spotting them has become an annual pastime.

The Fool fearlessly begins the journey into the unknown. To do this, he does not regard the world he knows as firm and fixed. He has a seemingly reckless disregard for obstacles. In the Ryder-Waite deck, he is seen stepping off a cliff with his gaze on the sky, and a rainbow is there to catch him. In order to explore and expand, one must disregard convention and conformity. Those in the throes of convention look at the unconventional, non-conformist personality and think “What a fool”. They lack the point of view to understand The Fool’s actions. But The Fool has roots in tradition as one who is closest to the spirit world.

In many tribal cultures, those born with strange and unusual character traits were held in awe. Shamans were people who could see visions and go on journeys that we now label hallucinations and schizophrenia. Those with physical differences had experience and knowledge that the average person could not understand.

The Fool is God. The number of the card is zero, which when drawn is a perfect circle. This circle represents both emptiness and infinity. The Fool is not shackled by mountains and valleys or by his physical body. He does not accept the appearance of cliff and air as being distinct or real. When you receive The Fool in a reading, you are ready to begin The Fool’s Journey into the unknown. The Fool’s originality, enthusiasm, sense of adventure and faith in the world are yours.

At #0, the Fool is the card of infinite possibilities. The pack on the staff indicates that he has all he need to do or be anything he wants, he has only to stop and unpack. He is on his way to a brand new beginning. But the card carries a little bark of warning as well. Stop daydreaming and watch your step, lest you fall and end up looking the fool.

The world is his game board as all come full circle.

The archetypal essence of The Fool in the Tarot is one who is free from convention, living in the now with no concern for what is yet to come and is usually depicted as someone beginning a journey in springtime. This year April Fool’s day falls on the Aries New Moon (12 Aries) with the transformational messenger Mercury (24 Aries) sextiling Saturn (24 Gemini). These energies are supporting decisive spontaneous action much like the Fool’s leap of faith risking everything to begin a new journey facilitated by the qualities of trust, innocence and courage supporting and celebrating the inner child or the April Fool.

Keeping A Open Mind

2008-03-31T14:34:00.000-05:00

Open-Mindedness ThesaurusLegend: Synonyms Related Words Antonyms Adj. 1. open-minded - ready to entertain new ideas; "an open-minded curiosity"; "open-minded impartiality" broad-minded - inclined to respect views and beliefs that differ from your own; "a judge who is broad-minded but even-handed"

I really did like this definition of being open-minded and it shows me still today how I can be so close minded at times. For example I might have been taught one thing in early recovery and set that in my mind to be the only way in which things should appear. It probably worked for all of that time because that is what I needed at that time! But to limit myself two or twenty years down the road with the same concept or to force the same concept onto someone else would really show my lack of not being open-minded which in turn would be nothing but pain for me in my recovery and in the recovery of others.

Even though we are taught to take what we want and to leave the rest, which is really some wonderful advice. We do need to however keep a open mind when it comes to someone else belief and what is working for them. We can try whatever they are offering and if it works it does and if it doesn't than that is OK also. But to shut down and say that is a bunch of nonsense wouldn't do us any sort of good at all, in fact it would limit us to grow in recovery, and be able to have all of the benefits that recovery has to offer to each and every person during our walk in recovery. What comes to my mind now is that we are all probably right where we need to be at this given time, which is in fact probably more the truth than not. Being able to recognize this also is a sign of some wonderful growth, to be able to accept things that we are not able to change and of course the wisdom that it takes to know the difference.

Now here is the catchy part. When it comes to recovery, and the way you approach recovery. The people with what they call the God aspect of recovery or HP and the other programs that don't believe in that aspect at all. I think that is where there is so much conflict as to when people shut there minds down and don't listen to the words that are being shared. I also believe that if we could just keep our ears on the message and not on the messenger that we would be able to recognize more solutions than not. I know that there is a program Agnostics and Atheist in AA. They believe the Program of AA works and that you don't have to have a God (so to speak) in order to recover. That is what I believe the Program gives all of us also is the ability to find whatever it is that is going to work for us as individuals. SMART Recovery has you look within yourself, same as AA but they make it more on yourself than on any sort of Power that is greater than yourself. That program also has saved many lives from active addiction and I use some of that in my program as well. One thing is that I love is that I have finally come to realize that I have to find the solution for myself, and that solution that works for me more than likely all of it might not work for someone else but there is still a part that might help someone else. That is why it is so important that we only share our ESH (Experience, Strength, and Hope) and don't give too much advice unless someone is asking for the advice.

A Love and Hate Relationship with Sexuality - Part 1

2008-03-29T15:00:00.001-05:00

``…of course the feeling of losing oneself in someone's arms — yet at the same time finding oneself there – is irreplaceable. Nothing compares to the intensity of that feeling."

Katarina Witt, Gold Medal Ice Skater, featured in Playboy Magazine December 1998

As I watched Katerina Witt enthusiastically discuss her Playboy Magazine experience on TV, I marveled. She has something very few people have - a clean, healthy comfort with her own sensuality. It's worth looking up this back issue to see her unabashed pride in herself as she lies draped over rocks, stands beside rushing streams, leaps down a hill, and throws her arms back as she stands perched on a rock with an ecstatic expression on her face. She could have easily posed for the statue of a temple dedicated, not to a mystical Buddha or god, but to the best within an individual.
Many people will laugh heartily at sexual jokes and will give the impression that it is a healthy part of their own lives, only to silently face, in the privacy of their own homes, a discomfort and an ambivalence with sex. Often this reaches a love-hate relationship with sex itself. Most people have many conflicting ideas about it. Is it healthy or smutty? A welcome pleasure or a necessary chore? Should you feel elated or shameful after an afternoon delight? Genuine confusion abut sex is the unfortunate internal state of many people.
How can something so good and healthy as the delightful experience of being in your partner's arms turn sour? Feeling sensually aroused, enjoying the emotional delights that your body and mind are capable of and wanting to experience the pleasure of sex - how do these get damaged? There are many causes of sexual problems. The primary cause is holding the wrong moral code.
I want to focus on one common problem which will illustrate this: the ambivalence that leads many women (and not so infrequently, men) to let their sexual desire fizzle.
I have worked with many couples and individuals in therapy who have complained that sex has become a necessary chore, an annoying mechanical duty, a less than satisfying experience that has received too much hype. They may dutifully try to please their spouses, (e.g., get sex over with to get it off the ``to-do list") or just avoid sex altogether (``I'm too tired." ``My back hurts.") What have they allowed to happen to such a potentially rich source of pleasure in their lives?
See if you can figure out what is happening. Come along with me to my early dating years. In one of my first romantic relationships, I recall lying alongside my boyfriend, kissing and hugging. I adored him. I was feeling very aroused and I was not inhibited in showing my enjoyment. I experienced a delicious sensual spontaneity. Suddenly he broke me out of my romantic trance by saying, in critical tone, ``Does this make you feel good?".
Now the simple, healthy response would have been for me to proudly, honestly and directly say ``Of course - it feels great!". But instead I was mortified. I had been caught enjoying the sexual experience. I felt selfish. From multiple sources in my life, I had partially bought into the idea that anything focused on me was bad, anything focused on pleasing others was good. Now I was translating this monstrous moral code into the area of my own sexuality. I must have tucked away the idea at that moment that I would enjoy sex by not focusing on myself. Instead I would just try to please my partner.
See any problem with this? There is a built in contradiction. For a clue - think of what I must have been saying to myself in my mind. ``Okay, have fun, enjoy sex, but make sure it doesn't feel good. That would be selfish. I don't ever want to be that!" Well, unfortunately for me, the alternative was to be selfless.
Selflessness involves, not self-valuing, but self-sabotage. It is the notion that ``I don't need anything for myself. What makes me happy is doing for others". This idea is psychologically deadly. When it's dressed up in an appealing-sounding name such as ``altruism" its deadliness is only camouflaged. Altruism doesn't mean being nice to others. You can value and enjoy the good aspects in others. This is consistent with liking yourself and being rationally selfish.
Altruism technically means ``other-ism": you are good only to the extent that you give up your wants, desires and goals and focus on pleasing others. But a life of giving up that which is nearest and dearest to you is a life not worth living. Try to enjoy anything in life by being selfless. It can't be done.
Try to live by giving up those rational things that make your life delicious (e.g., your dream career, your choice in hobbies, a boyfriend or girlfriend whom you adore). You will soon feel bitter, frustrated and depressed. This is the altruism trap. Too many women fall in to it.
Would you like to go to the bedroom to enjoy a romantic interlude? You can't if your partner wants to have sex on the couch while watching the game. By the moral code of altruism, you shouldn't ``enjoy" or focus on your own needs. You are only there to ``please your partner". He wants you to attend to his needs. What's in it for you? Nothing? Then you've achieved your ideal. You are not selfish. You're also missing out on sex.
So if you have fallen into the altruism trap and you're feeling that sex is a duty to be endured, how do you climb out of it? One of the key prerequisites in healthy sexuality is feeling that you are and should be the center of your own world. Rational self-interest is a prerequisite to your own sexuality and to having a wonderful intimate relationship with your partner. What do I mean by that? Let's look at Katarina (literally and figuratively).
Unlike most people who feel a vague undefined self-doubt and who don't feel they are worthy of love, Katarina Witt projects a sense of feeling entirely worthy. She seems to value her life, her character and her sensuality. (Whether this is true in the facts of her life is not my point. I am going by my observations of her over the years on the ice.)
Self-esteem is a psychological achievement, an achievement that requires many virtues. Since that broader topic is beyond the scope of this article, we will focus on sex. How can you start to uproot bad premises about sex that you may have picked up unwittingly from your religion or family?

Uprooting damaging ideas:

1. In order to learn to express what you like and dislike in lovemaking, first observe yourself in other areas in your life. Do you find it easy to ask for what you want or do you typically let others make the decisions? Whether choosing a restaurant or a movie or deciding whether to spend your vacation time at a romantic getaway or with relatives, do you routinely ``give-up" or defer to others' choices? Try an experiment - practice saying what you want assertively (not aggressively) and unapologetically.
For example, instead of saying ``Of course we'll visit your mother during our vacation this year." you may try: ``I know you feel we owe it to your mother to visit her during the holidays. It is my only vacation and I would much prefer that we go on a romantic holiday together in the Caribbean and visit your mother at another time. No, I would not enjoy having your mother come with us to the Caribbean."

2. What happens when you make love? Are you typically thinking ``I wonder what he or she wants me to do? What should I do to please him or her?" or are you focused on the sensual pleasure you're getting from your partner? If your focus is almost exclusively off yourself and on your partner, you need some skills to get your focus back on yourself. That doesn't mean you should ignore your partner. It does mean that you fully allow yourself to experience the pleasure that earns sex its good name.

3. Ask yourself how often during the week do you think of food. Now compare that to how often you think about sex. Most people spend some time each week, if not each day, anticipating an enjoyable meal. Is sex something you give yourself time to focus on - or is it something you push out of your mind and don't even think about? An article in my local paper was titled ``I almost had a thought about sex." If your thoughts about sex are few and far between, here are some tips to spice up your sex life.

Drugs, Downey, Strawberry, junkies and hypocrites

2008-03-27T09:32:00.001-05:00

Actor Robert Downey Jr. has been arrested for drug use again.

He could get a four-year prison sentence, so it's obvious he didn't take the drugs for pleasure. He took them because he's an addict. They aren't a means of entertainment for him; they're a curse.

The same appears to be true of Darryl Strawberry -- who was booted out of Major League Baseball because he couldn't stay off drugs. He is an addict -- not a person who simply refused to "say no."

Productive people
In any discussion of the Downey and Strawberry cases, one point seems to be overlooked: Even though both are addicts, they're quite able to perform their jobs properly.

Drugs haven't kept Downey from showing up for work, from cooperating with his fellow workers, or from acting well enough to win numerous awards. And Darryl Strawberry managed to hit home runs even while plagued with drug problems.

If these people can function so well, why do they get hustled off to jail?

They're already living in private hells -- unable to shake the drug habit. Once a person is addicted, giving up drugs is far harder than giving up smoking or fatty foods. There are very few examples of addicts shaking the habit and remaining clean ever after.

So what is gained by having the police hound them?

The Downey and Strawberry cases should remind us that prior to the drug laws many addicts were productive members of society. They bought morphine, opium, or heroin at the local pharmacy, showed up for work every day and lived otherwise normal lives.

The difference between them and today's "junkies" is that earlier addicts lived in a society where drugs were legal. They didn't buy from black-market criminals who laced drugs with unknown substances. And they didn't have to steal to pay astronomical prices for black-market drugs. They bought safe, inexpensive drugs marketed by well-known companies. They could survive and prosper.

But today's addicts devote enormous amounts of time, money and attention to acquiring drugs, live in fear of being caught and sometimes die from taking bad drugs.

Role models
We're told we must make examples of people like Downey and Strawberry because they're "role models."

But I don't understand why actors or ballplayers must be held to such a high standard.

After all, what kind of role model is George W. Bush? He boozed it up, was arrested for drunk driving, apparently did drugs and became president of the United States. Now he puts people in prison for five or 50 years for doing what he did -- and he gets to call himself "compassionate."

What kind of role model was Bill Clinton? He admits smoking marijuana, but he signed laws increasing the prison terms for people who do what he did.

What kind of role model was Ronald Reagan? He claimed to be for the Constitution, but decided the Fourth and Fifth Amendments were unnecessary. He stepped up the Drug War, imposed new intrusions on your privacy, signed oppressive mandatory sentencing laws, and instituted asset-forfeiture programs that can take your property without accusing you of a crime.

Anyone concerned about role models ought to take a closer look at the people they hold up as heroes -- and leave Robert Downey and Darryl Strawberry alone to work out their problems.

What's the point?
Tell me whose life is better because of the drug laws -- other than black-market drug dealers, politicians and law-enforcement agencies that get to steal your property.

We don't make life easier for the children who get harassed by drug dealers at school, or who die in drive-by shootings when criminal gangs fight over drug territories.

We don't provide better role models when we disgrace honest actors and ballplayers while honoring hypocritical politicians.

And we don't turn addicts into better people by throwing them in prison.

Or would George W. Bush and Bill Clinton be better people today if, for their "youthful indiscretions," they had spent 10 years in prison?

SELF ESTEEM, SELF LOVE and SELF CENTEREDNESS

2008-03-26T06:21:00.001-05:00

SELF ESTEEM, SELF LOVE and SELF CENTEREDNESS

by Nancy Poitou, M.A., M.F.T.

I have been asked often about what is self-esteem, self-love and self-centeredness. These are very good questions and it is a fine line that separates these concepts.

Self esteem means to hold oneself in high esteem, feeling worthy of a good life and good treatment by others. Self-esteem results from self-respect and respect from others. Self-respect includes competence, confidence, mastery, achievement, independence and freedom. Respect from others includes recognition, acceptance, status, and appreciation.

Healthy self-esteem is a realistic appraisal of one's capacities and begins with deserved respect from others. This usually begins to be built in childhood, when we learn some new skill, or take a risk, a parent says, "Good! You learned how to tie your shoe!" And so begins the building of self-esteem. However when a parent is overly critical or abusive, we get a message that we will never be good enough, that there is just something inherently bad about us, that we are defective. As children we are dependent on adults to give us the foundation of our self-esteem and be role models for what is good.

Self love is the ability to hold onto our good qualities and strengths even when we are feeling bad about ourselves or something we have done. It is the strength to see our short comings and love ourselves enough to know that we can learn and grow and not to give up on ourselves because we are not perfect, made a mistake or still have some problems. In other words, we are worthy of love even if we are not perfect.

Self-centeredness is self-esteem and self-love gone too far. It means that the world revolves around us, we are at the center of our world, meaning that we think that we are better than anyone and everyone else and so are more deserving, in other words, selfish.

Good self-esteem means that we have enough self-confidence to not need the approval of others. We don't need to wear the latest fashions, be the thinnest or the richest to feel good about ourselves. It is feeling good about who we are on the inside, so that approval and love does not have to come from the outside before we can love ourselves. Many people function just the opposite, they don't feel good about themselves unless in a relationship so that they can say, "I am loved, so I must be loveable." But that means needing the relationship too much, that you will endure anything, any abuse or maltreatment to stay in the relationship, because without it you feel empty. It is always good to receive approval and love from others but good self-esteem means we are not dependent on it to feel whole or good.

Without self-esteem and self-love we are so desperate to be in a relationship that we do not see the red flags, in fact we may be in denial that there are potential problems. Usually we attract another with the same level of self-esteem and when the other does not have our approval or love 100% without question, they resort to putting us down in order to feel better about themselves. And so the cycle starts, then we put the other down and around and around we go, trying to be on top, yet at the same time we are putting the other down, we erode any self-esteem we might have had and a downward spiral begins for the relationship and the individuals involved.

Besides relationships there are other traps in life we can fall into. Drugs and alcohol can temporarily make us feel good, and that is how some people start an addiction. Other examples are things like new cars, clothes, money, sex and thrills. These only provide a momentary high, and we are unaware that we need these things or activities to feel good. These traps are only temporary external fixes to an internal problem, and distract us from acknowledging our shortcomings and getting in touch with and working on healing past hurts that contribute to low self-esteem.

To have self-esteem and self love we do not need to be self-centered, we do not have to be the best looking or make the most money. In fact acting or being self-centered is a kind of arrogance that is usually a coverup for low self esteem, or a lack of self-love.

In order to have good self-esteem we need to act in accordance to our conscious and/or unconscious beliefs about what is good in a human being. This often comes from a spiritual ideal, one individual that sets an example for us, or a role model that demonstrates the inner qualities that attracts us and draws us to that person. Usually that means being around that person makes us feel good. That person can validate us and see our good qualities and strengths and reflect that back to us because they have good self-esteem and self-love. That person does not need to feel better than or one up to feel good and appreciate others' good qualities. That person is not self-centered in needing to feel that they are better than anyone else around them. Their self-confidence and security comes from earned respect from others and self-respect from acting in accordance with what a good human being would do. There is usually an honesty and authenticity in them as well, they can acknowledge their mistakes and shortcomings and therefore work on them, they are "a work in progress."

References:

Barksdale, L.S. (1972) Building Self-Esteem. Idyllwild, CA The Barksdale Foundation for Furtherance of Human Understanding

Bradshaw, John (1988) Healing the Shame that Binds You. Dearfield Beach, Florida. Health Communications, Inc.

Alcoholism

2008-03-24T06:27:00.001-05:00

Alcoholism Symptoms

Alcoholism is a disease. It is often diagnosed more through behaviors and adverse effects on functioning than by specific medical symptoms. Only 2 of the diagnostic criteria are physiological (those are tolerance changes and withdrawal symptoms).

Alcohol abuse and alcoholism are associated with a broad range of medical, psychiatric, social, legal, occupational, economic, and family problems. For example, parental alcoholism underlies many family problems such as divorce, spouse abuse, child abuse and neglect, welfare dependence, and criminal behaviors, according to government sources.
- The great majority of alcoholics go unrecognized by physicians and health care professionals. This is largely because of the alcoholic’s ability to conceal the amount and frequency of drinking, denial of problems caused by or made worse by drinking, the gradual onset of the disease, and the body's ability to adapt to increasing alcohol amounts.
- Family members often deny or minimize alcohol problems and unwittingly contribute to the continuation of alcoholism by well-meaning behaviors such as shielding the alcoholic from adverse consequences of drinking or taking over family or economic responsibilities. Often the drinking behavior is concealed from loved ones and health care providers.
- Alcoholics, when confronted, will often deny excess consumption of alcohol. Alcoholism is a diverse disease and is often influenced by the alcoholic's personality as well as by other factors. Therefore, signs and symptoms often vary from person to person. There are, however, certain behaviors and signs that indicate someone may have a problem with alcohol. These behaviors and signs include insomnia, frequent falls, bruises of different ages, blackouts, chronic depression, anxiety, irritability, tardiness or absence at work or school, loss of employment, divorce or separation, financial difficulties, frequent intoxicated appearance or behavior, weight loss, or frequent automobile collisions.
- Late signs and symptoms include medical conditions such as pancreatitis, gastritis, cirrhosis, neuropathy, anemia, cerebellar atrophy, alcoholic cardiomyopathy (heart disease), Wernicke's encephalopathy (abnormal brain functioning), Korsakoff's dementia, central pontine myelinolysis (brain degeneration), seizures, confusion, malnutrition, hallucinations, peptic ulcers, and gastrointestinal bleeding.
Compared with children in families without alcoholism, children of alcoholics are at increased risk for alcohol abuse, drug abuse, conduct problems, anxiety disorders, and mood disorders. Alcoholic individuals have a higher risk of psychiatric disorders and suicide. They often experience guilt, shame, and depression, especially when their alcohol use leads to significant losses (for example, job, relationships, status, economic security, or physical health). Many medical problems are caused by or made worse by alcoholism as well as by the alcoholic’s poor adherence to medical treatment.

Easter And What It Means

2008-03-23T07:34:00.001-05:00

Easter is a spring festival that celebrates the central event of the Christian faith: the resurrection of Christ three days after his death by crucifixion. {1} Easter is the oldest Christian holiday and the most important day of the church year.

All the Christian movable feasts and the entire liturgical year of worship are arranged around Easter.

Easter Sunday is preceded by the season of Lent, a 40-day period of fasting and repentence culminating in Holy Week, and followed by a 50-day Easter Season that stretches from Easter to Pentecost.

Name of Easter

The origins of the word "Easter" are not certain, but probably derive from Estre, an Anglo-Saxon goddess of spring {2}. The German word Ostern has the same derivation, but most other languages follow the Greek term used by the early Christians: pascha, from the Hebrew pesach (Passover).

In Latin, Easter is Festa Paschalia (plural because it is a seven-day feast), which became the basis for the French Pâques, the Italian Pasqua, and the Spanish Pascua. Also related are the Scottish Pask, the Dutch Paschen, the Danish Paaske, and the Swedish Pask. {3}

Date of Easter

The method for determining the date of Easter is complex and has been a matter of controversy (see History of Easter, below). Put as simply as possible, the Western churches (Catholic and Protestant) celebrate Easter on the first Sunday following the first full moon after the spring equinox.

But it is actually a bit more complicated than this. The spring equinox is fixed for this purpose as March 21 (in 2004, it actually falls on March 20) and the "full moon" is actually the paschal moon, which is based on 84-year "paschal cycles" established in the sixth century, and rarely corresponds to the astronomical full moon. These complex calculations yield an Easter date of anywhere between March 22 and April 25.

The Eastern churches (Greek, Russian, and other forms of Orthodoxy) use the same calculation, but based on the Julian calendar (on which March 21 is April 3) and a 19-year paschal cycle.

Thus the Orthodox Easter sometimes falls on the same day as the western Easter (it does in 2004), but the two celebrations can occur as much as five weeks apart.

In the 20th century, discussions began as to a possible worldwide agreement on a consistent date for the celebration of the central event of Christianity. No resolution has yet been reached. {4}

Recent and upcoming dates {5} for Passover (Judaism), Easter (Western Christianity), and Pascha (Eastern Christianity) are:

	Passover	Easter	Pascha
2006	April 13	April 16	April 23
2007	April 3	April 8	April 8

History of Easter and the Easter Controversy

There is evidence that Christians originally celebrated the resurrection of Christ every Sunday, with observances such as Scripture readings, psalms, the Eucharist, and a prohibition against kneeling in prayer. {6} At some point in the first two centuries, however, it became customary to celebrate the resurrection specially on one day each year. Many of the religious observances of this celebration were taken from the Jewish Passover.

The specific day on which the resurrection should be celebrated became a major point of contention within the church. First, should it be on Jewish Passover no matter on what day that falls, or should it always fall on a Sunday? It seems Christians in Asia took the former position, while those everywhere else insisted on the latter. The eminent church fathers Irenaeus and Polycarp were among the Asiatic Christians, and they claimed the authority of St. John the Apostle for their position. Nevertheless, the church majority officially decided that Easter should always be celebrated on a Sunday. Eusebius of Caesarea, our only source on this topic, reports the affair as follows:

A question of no small importance arose at that time [c. 190 AD]. The dioceses of all Asia, as from an older tradition, held that the fourteenth day of the moon, on which day the Jews were commanded to sacrifice the lamb, should always be observed as the feast of the life-giving pasch, contending that the fast ought to end on that day, whatever day of the week it might happen to be. However it was not the custom of the churches in the rest of the world to end it at this point, as they observed the practice, which from Apostolic tradition has prevailed to the present time, of terminating the fast on no other day than on that of the Resurrection of our Saviour. Synods and assemblies of bishops were held on this account, and all with one consent through mutual correspondence drew up an ecclesiastical decree that the mystery of the Resurrection of the Lord should be celebrated on no other day but the Sunday and that we should observe the close of the paschal fast on that day only. {7}

With this issue resolved, the next problem was to determine which Sunday to celebrate the resurrection. The Christians in Syria and Mesopotamia held their festival on the Sunday after the Jewish Passover (which itself varied a great deal), but those in Alexandria and other regions held it on the first Sunday after the spring equinox, without regard to the Passover.

This second issue was decided at the Council of Nicea in 325, which decreed that Easter should be celebrated by all on the same Sunday, which Sunday shall be the first following the paschal moon (and the paschal moon must not precede the spring equinox), and that a particular church should determine the date of Easter and communicate it throughout the empire (probably Alexandria, with their skill in astronomical calculations).

The policy was adopted throughout the empire, but Rome adopted an 84-year lunar cycle for determining the date, whereas Alexandria used a 19-year cycle. {8} Use of these different "paschal cycles" persists to this day and contributes to the disparity between the eastern and western dates of Easter.

Religious Observances on Easter

Common elements found in most Roman Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, and Protestant religious Easter celebrations include baptisms, the Eucharist, feasting, and greetings of "Christ is risen!" and "He is risen indeed!"

In Roman Catholicism, and some Lutheran and Anglican churches, Easter is celebrated with a vigil that consists of "the blessing of the new fire (a practice introduced during the early Middle Ages); the lighting of the paschal candle; a service of lessons, called the prophecies; followed by the blessing of the font and baptisms and then the mass of Easter." {9} The traditional customs of the Catholic church are described in detail in the online Catholic Encyclopedia {10}.

In Orthodox churches, the vigil service is preceded by a procession outside the church. When the procession leaves the church, there are no lights on. The procession conducts a symbolic fruitless search for Christ's body, then joyfully announces, "Christ is risen!" When the procession returns to the church, hundreds of candles and lamps are lit to symbolize the splendor of Christ's resurrection, and the Easter Eucharist is taken. {11}

Protestant observances also include baptism and the Eucharist (or Lord's Supper), and often a sunrise service (to commemorate Mary Magdalene's arrival at the empty tomb "early, while it was still dark") and special hymns and songs.

Easter eggs

Popular Easter Customs

Over the centuries, these religious observances have been supplemented by popular customs, many of were incorporated from springtime fertility celebrations of European and Middle Eastern pagan religion. Rabbits and eggs, for example, are widely-used pagan symbols for fertility. Christians view the Easter eggs as symbols of joy and celebration (as they were forbidden during the fast of Lent) and of new life and resurrection. A common custom is to hide brightly colored eggs for children to find.

Easter And What It Means

2008-03-23T07:32:00.001-05:00

All the Christian movable feasts and the entire liturgical year of worship are arranged around Easter.

Name of Easter

Date of Easter

The Eastern churches (Greek, Russian, and other forms of Orthodoxy) use the same calculation, but based on the Julian calendar (on which March 21 is April 3) and a 19-year paschal cycle.

Thus the Orthodox Easter sometimes falls on the same day as the western Easter (it does in 2004), but the two celebrations can occur as much as five weeks apart.

In the 20th century, discussions began as to a possible worldwide agreement on a consistent date for the celebration of the central event of Christianity. No resolution has yet been reached. {4}

Recent and upcoming dates {5} for Passover (Judaism), Easter (Western Christianity), and Pascha (Eastern Christianity) are:

	Passover	Easter	Pascha
2006	April 13	April 16	April 23
2007	April 3	April 8	April 8

History of Easter and the Easter Controversy

A question of no small importance arose at that time [c. 190 AD]. The dioceses of all Asia, as from an older tradition, held that the fourteenth day of the moon, on which day the Jews were commanded to sacrifice the lamb, should always be observed as the feast of the life-giving pasch, contending that the fast ought to end on that day, whatever day of the week it might happen to be. However it was not the custom of the churches in the rest of the world to end it at this point, as they observed the practice, which from Apostolic tradition has prevailed to the present time, of terminating the fast on no other day than on that of the Resurrection of our Saviour. Synods and assemblies of bishops were held on this account, and all with one consent through mutual correspondence drew up an ecclesiastical decree that the mystery of the Resurrection of the Lord should be celebrated on no other day but the Sunday and that we should observe the close of the paschal fast on that day only. {7}

Religious Observances on Easter

Easter eggs

Popular Easter Customs

Personal Goal Setting

2008-03-21T06:24:00.000-05:00

Personal Goal Setting

Find Direction. Live Your Life Your Way.

Goal setting is a powerful process for thinking about your ideal future, and for motivating yourself to turn this vision of the future into reality.

The process of setting goals helps you choose where you want to go in life. By knowing precisely what you want to achieve, you know where you have to concentrate your efforts. You'll also quickly spot the distractions that would otherwise lure you from your course.

More than this, properly-set goals can be incredibly motivating, and as you get into the habit of setting and achieving goals, you'll find that your self-confidence builds fast.

Achieving More With Focus

Goal setting techniques are used by top-level athletes, successful business-people and achievers in all fields. They give you long-term vision and short-term motivation. They focus your acquisition of knowledge and help you to organize your time and your resources so that you can make the very most of your life.

By setting sharp, clearly defined goals, you can measure and take pride in the achievement of those goals. You can see forward progress in what might previously have seemed a long pointless grind. By setting goals, you will also raise your self-confidence, as you recognize your ability and competence in achieving the goals that you have set.

Starting to Set Personal Goals

Goals are set on a number of different levels: First you create your "big picture" of what you want to do with your life, and decide what large-scale goals you want to achieve. Second, you break these down into the smaller and smaller targets that you must hit so that you reach your lifetime goals. Finally, once you have your plan, you start working to achieve it.

We start this process with your Lifetime Goals, and work down to the things you can do today to start moving towards them.

Your Lifetime Goals

The first step in setting personal goals is to consider what you want to achieve in your lifetime (or by a time at least, say, 10 years in the future) as setting Lifetime Goals gives you the overall perspective that shapes all other aspects of your decision making.

To give a broad, balanced coverage of all important areas in your life, try to set goals in some of these categories (or in categories of your own, where these are important to you):

Artistic:
Do you want to achieve any artistic goals? If so, what?
Attitude:
Is any part of your mindset holding you back? Is there any part of the way that you behave that upsets you? If so, set a goal to improve your behavior or find a solution to the problem.
Career:
What level do you want to reach in your career?
Education:
Is there any knowledge you want to acquire in particular? What information and skills will you need to achieve other goals?
Family:
Do you want to be a parent? If so, how are you going to be a good parent? How do you want to be seen by a partner or by members of your extended family?
Financial:
How much do you want to earn by what stage?
Physical:
Are there any athletic goals you want to achieve, or do you want good health deep into old age? What steps are you going to take to achieve this?
Pleasure:
How do you want to enjoy yourself? - you should ensure that some of your life is for you!
Public Service:
Do you want to make the world a better place? If so, how?

Spend some time brainstorming these, and then select one goal in each category that best reflects what you want to do. Then consider trimming again so that you have a small number of really significant goals on which you can focus.

As you do this, make sure that the goals that you have set are ones that you genuinely want to achieve, not ones that your parents, family, or employers might want (if you have a partner, you probably want to consider what he or she wants, however make sure you also remain true to yourself!)

Starting to Achieve Your Lifetime Goals

Once you have set your lifetime goals, set a 25 year plan of smaller goals that you should complete if you are to reach your lifetime plan. Then set a 5 year plan, 1 year plan, 6 month plan, and 1 month plan of progressively smaller goals that you should reach to achieve your lifetime goals. Each of these should be based on the previous plan.

Then create a daily to-do list of things that you should do today to work towards your lifetime goals. At an early stage these goals may be to read books and gather information on the achievement of your goals. This will help you to improve the quality and realism of your goal setting.

Finally review your plans, and make sure that they fit the way in which you want to live your life.

Staying on Course

Once you have decided your first set of plans, keep the process going by reviewing and updating your to-do list on a daily basis. Periodically review the longer term plans, and modify them to reflect your changing priorities and experience.

Goal Setting Tips

The following broad guidelines will help you to set effective goals:

State each goal as a positive statement: Express your goals positively - 'Execute this technique well' is a much better goal than 'Don't make this stupid mistake.'

Be precise: Set a precise goal, putting in dates, times and amounts so that you can measure achievement. If you do this, you will know exactly when you have achieved the goal, and can take complete satisfaction from having achieved it.

Set priorities: When you have several goals, give each a priority. This helps you to avoid feeling overwhelmed by too many goals, and helps to direct your attention to the most important ones.

Write goals down: This crystallizes them and gives them more force.

Keep operational goals small: Keep the low-level goals you are working towards small and achievable. If a goal is too large, then it can seem that you are not making progress towards it. Keeping goals small and incremental gives more opportunities for reward. Derive today's goals from larger ones.

Set performance goals, not outcome goals: You should take care to set goals over which you have as much control as possible. There is nothing more dispiriting than failing to achieve a personal goal for reasons beyond your control. In business, these could be bad business environments or unexpected effects of government policy. In sport, for example, these reasons could include poor judging, bad weather, injury, or just plain bad luck. If you base your goals on personal performance, then you can keep control over the achievement of your goals and draw satisfaction from them.

Set realistic goals: It is important to set goals that you can achieve. All sorts of people (employers, parents, media, society) can set unrealistic goals for you. They will often do this in ignorance of your own desires and ambitions. Alternatively you may set goals that are too high, because you may not appreciate either the obstacles in the way or understand quite how much skill you need to develop to achieve a particular level of performance.

SMART Goals:
A useful way of making goals more powerful is to use the SMART mnemonic. While there are plenty of variants, SMART usually stands for:

S Specific
M Measurable
A Attainable
R Relevant
T Time-bound

For example, instead of having “to sail around the world” as a goal, it is more powerful to say “To have completed my trip around the world by December 31, 2015.” Obviously, this will only be attainable if a lot of preparation has been completed beforehand!

Achieving Goals

When you have achieved a goal, take the time to enjoy the satisfaction of having done so. Absorb the implications of the goal achievement, and observe the progress you have made towards other goals. If the goal was a significant one, reward yourself appropriately. All of this helps you build the self-confidence you deserve!

With the experience of having achieved this goal, review the rest of your goal plans:

If you achieved the goal too easily, make your next goals harder.
If the goal took a dispiriting length of time to achieve, make the next goals a little easier.
If you learned something that would lead you to change other goals, do so.
If you noticed a deficit in your skills despite achieving the goal, decide whether to set goals to fix this.

Failure to meet goals does not matter much, as long as you learn from it. Feed lessons learned back into your goal setting program.

Remember too that your goals will change as time goes on. Adjust them regularly to reflect growth in your knowledge and experience, and if goals do not hold any attraction any longer, then let them go.

Key points:

Goal setting is an important method of:

Deciding what is important for you to achieve in your life;
Separating what is important from what is irrelevant, or a distraction;
Motivating yourself; and
Building your self-confidence, based on successful achievement of goals.

If you don't already set goals, do so, starting now. As you make this technique part of your life, you'll find your career accelerating, and you'll wonder how you did without it!

A good way of getting going with this is to use the Mind Tools Life Plan Workbook. Supported by worksheets and advice, this guides you through a simple 5-step process for setting your life goals and for organizing yourself for success.

The next article explains how to schedule effectively- this is essential if you're going to manage your workload and still keep time for yourself. To visit this, click "Next article", below. And for other useful techniques, see the suggested links underneath.

Asking For Help

2008-03-21T06:21:00.001-05:00

Asking For Help

Sometimes it is difficult to ask for help. We prefer to solve problems on our own. Most of the time we are able to do so, using the resources we already have: family, friends and community. We all have 'ups and downs.' We all have normal grief at the death of a loved one and normal concerns about our children.

However, occasionally, life piles on too many stresses at once. Circumstances may overwhelm our usual coping skills. A normally 'good kid' may start going bad. You or a loved one may lose a job. You may suffer a prolonged or difficult illness. Stress may weaken your body's defenses, disrupting your sleep, appetite or zest for life. You may not feel comfortable discussing the problem with friends or family.

It is hard to ask help from a stranger. Asking for help may make you feel vulnerable or ashamed. A good mental health therapist should help you feel at ease quickly and remind you that you have every right to pursue all avenues to feeling better. Needing help is not a moral weakness. In fact, all of us have a responsibility to seek help for our own sake and the sake of our loved ones. There are many barriers to seeking help, but the first usually resides in our own reluctance to ask for assistance.

Another barrier is the concern 'what will people think of me?' We worry: 'What if my boss finds out?' 'What will the neighbors think?' It is true that many people are uncomfortable around issues of mental upset or stress. For the most part, our culture expects us to be rugged individualists, solving our own problems and riding off into the sunset in a ruggedly individualistic way. That is a fine approach, if we have the resources to solve the problem.

Historically, there has been some stigma attached to seeking mental health help. But modern day life can be stunningly complex. We no longer expect to be our own accountants, doctors, lawyers or bankers. Whatever our chosen profession, some times we need to seek consultation from experts in other fields. No one thinks less of us for seeking consultation from an accountant or lawyer. Similarly, we should insist on the opportunity to seek consultation from a mental health professional. You and you alone are the judge of your own needs.