BlissChick

Traveling to Kripalu

2009-12-06T05:00:00.002-05:00

Today is the Second Sunday of Advent, and most likely, by the time you read this, I am too exhausted to remember that fact.

I got on a bus at Midnight. I am scheduled to arrive at Kripalu by about 11:30 AM.

I am scheduled to arrive home on Saturday the 12th, which happens to be the Feast Day of Our Lady of Guadalupe, to whom I am especially devoted.

I will probably be too exhausted to remember that, too.

Is this post all about whining?

Obviously, it's a lot about whining, but I also wanted to say "hello" and let you know that I'll start blogging from my YogaDance teacher training as soon as I am clean and fed and can see straight.

BlissObstacles: Realizing there is No "Try"

2009-12-05T05:00:00.000-05:00

The title today -- in case you are not a geek -- comes from a Yoda quote: Do or do not. There is no try. (Smart muppet!)

This is a photo of a gorgeous necklace that Amy recently gave away from her Etsy shop. She does beautiful work and is generous to her blog readers, which you should obviously be!

Today, she joins us to write about her main obstacle to bliss. Enjoy her poetic and honest musings on her own inner workings:

The Switch

I have what I call a default switch.

Life presents a challenge, big or small, I allow the negativity to spiral…and the switch flips! I'm back in the victim-led life of drudgery. My default. What I perceive in the moment, or month, to be my true reality.

It's a familiar, predictable space that doesn't always bother me initially. It might even look sweet on the outside, I’ve been told, but feels vacuous and wrong inside my head. There is, of course, no chance at bliss here.

To flip the switch back, I move myself out into nature. Lots of sky, bare feet in the grass, movement.

Or I intentionally slow down even more than I once thought possible. Stare into the old soul eyes of my child. Fall into my sweet love’s embrace. Fall into bed. Cry.

Or I seek others. A change of scenery. I offer what I have to give with an open heart, fully seeing, hearing...loving.

Encouraging the passion, the bliss, of another inadvertently stirs up my own.

Despite my searching, I am always there. Despite my denial or despair over whether I am deserving, I am always there.

Sunlight on the river. My definition of bliss. A place where the darkness still exists. A place where I know I have a choice.

So somehow this simple, silly image of a tiny lever (that I control) works for me. It works because nothing, absolutely nothing, must be done first.

BlissObstacles: Falling into the State of Overwhelm

2009-12-04T05:00:00.006-05:00

If you've been a commenter at all here at Blisschick, you probably recognize the name Karmacoy. She's been a faithful reader and a vibrant contributor to the conversation for so long now that I can't remember when her name first started popping up in my inbox.

It has been a joy to watch her blossom, and I love how shiny and strong she looks in the above photo. The biggest joy has been watching her return to her passion -- music and singing.

She blogs here and here and you can find her on facebook here.

Today, she joins us to write about obstacles to bliss.

A Course of Obstacles

What is the main difficulty you have encountered in trying to craft a life of Bliss? What have you tried to do about this?

When Christine first posed these questions, I immediately thought my main difficulty would have to be my lack of focus. I then began to formulate my list of tactics for dealing with this obstacle. I couldn’t decide how to say what I wanted, which led me to agonize over how often indecision has been my nemesis.

I decided to mull this over for a while.

Over the course of the next few days, I was hit with a case of the “poor hopeless, useless me’s” in which I felt totally negative and burdened with inability. My old familiar hindrance of doubt and inferiority had crept in. This wasn’t due specifically to the task of answering Christine’s questions, but it is just a general cycle I find myself in from time to time.

A day or two later as I dragged myself out of the doldrums, I realized that while in my down state I had (once again) let several things go. I was behind on housework, homework, deadlines and SELF-CARE. I entered into the state which usually follows doubt and inferiority: the state of overwhelm.

So there you have it. I have a list of four major obstacles to my crafting a life of bliss. It’s hard to say which one is the main difficulty, as they all tend to support one another.

The good news is, if I can manage to diminish (dare I say eliminate?) one of the cones of the obstacle course then the others tend to shrink away as well.

And the strategies devised to overcome one difficulty are often helpful in conquering one or more of the others.

So, in my efforts to craft a life of bliss, here are some of the methods I’ve come up with for ducking and weaving through the course:

Stating my bliss. Creating “Bliss Lists." In ink, paint, and computer graphics. Painted on stones, clipped out of magazines, stuck to the fridge, lipsticked to the bathroom mirror. Daily visual reminders. This really helps with leaping over lack of focus.

Scheduling of time into my daily/weekly routines (hell, even just having solid routines) in order to follow that bliss. For example: weekly choir practice, song writing sessions, going to see live music, etc. This addresses lack of focus and overwhelm.

Living a life of balance and making time for other interests as well such as reading, socializing, family and volunteering BUT making sure that I don’t fill my plate up so much with all that stuff that there is not enough room for my main course, Bliss a la mode. A recipe for anti-overwhelm.

Creating and posting (in an in-my-face place) a list of “essentials for a happy me." I, like many people, have noticed that when I’m eating properly (for me that includes eating blueberries daily if possible), exercising regularly, taking my vitamins, and getting outside, most of the obstacles make their appearances less frequently. Daily Gratitude is included in this list.

Meal and task planning appeals to my indecisive nature and helps to hold overwhelm at bay. When I don’t have my meals planned out, I can spend hours agonizing over ‘what’s for dinner?’ Mapping out a rough plan, including household tasks and errands, simplifies my life immensely.

Developing a network of Awesome Supportive Friends. This is the best remedy for doubt and inferiority that I have found. When someone else believes in me, it makes believing in myself seem not-so-crazy after all.

I just want to draw a small bit of attention to the wording of Christine’s question. She asked, “what have you tried to do” about the main difficulty.

These are things that I have tried.

Usually they help.

Sometimes I forget to try them.

Sometimes I don’t want to try them and avoid doing so for longer than is healthy for me.

Then I get back up, stare at those bright orange cones in my way, and try to overcome them again. Crafting a life of bliss is worth the effort.

What I need to remember, what WE ALL need to remember, is to just keep TRYING.

BlissObstacles: The Weight of the Past

2009-12-03T05:00:00.003-05:00

That is a perfect picture of our next guest blogger this week, Brooks Hall, whom I was privileged enough to meet recently in real life as we momentarily crossed paths at Kripalu.

Brooks writes this wonderful, delving, honest blog.

Today, she joins us to write about obstacles to bliss:

My Bliss Ship

After a recent meditation, I opened my eyes and I saw the things in my apartment—briefly, in my mind’s eye—as forming a ship, boat, or vessel to carry me forward. The things in my apartment (mostly remnants from my past) were like tiles on the outer part of the ship, keeping me protected on the inside. These things also came together to form a vehicle, a way of moving in the world.

The trouble can come when a piece remains unaddressed: its wavering, like a tile breaking loose, allows for a leak in the hull which slows me down. So to have integrity as I move forward through time, it’s important to know myself—including my physical effects. The stuff I sometimes call the “shit” in my apartment. I have really allowed this stuff that represents my past to create a drag that clings to me, holding me back from enjoying a more vibrant life. I’ve been ashamed of my home.

The key to stepping forth in a way that is more blissful for me is to be less obsessed with the ship and more enthralled by the ride. It’s great and good to know myself and to have examined myself deeply—it’s what I needed to do to feel more solid, more integrated. I needed to dig deep and understand what my hurts were about. I needed to lick wounds and get support.

Now I feel ready to float, ready to ride, and ready to go! I am ready to lighten the load. My passion can put the wind in my sails or perhaps fuel a powerful motor. My body and mind can do the work. My breath can keep me energized and calm.

Bon voyage!

BlissObstacles: Shining Light on Resistance

2009-12-02T05:00:00.001-05:00

Analiese Marie is a twenty-something writer, blogger, and yogini who lives and works (as a grant writer for an art museum) in the DC area. Armed with a Cultural Anthropology degree and a penchant for all things colorful and sparkly, Analiese is an intrepid and joyful explorer of human culture, with a particular interest in how people can live more creative, expressive, and adventurous lives. In addition to yoga and writing, Analiese is passionate about art of all kinds, good food (preferably local), good wine (preferably red), spending time outdoors, good books, and bubble baths. You can read more of her writing on her blog Tulips and Tea and you can find her on Twitter here.
I joyfully welcome Analiese and her enthusiasm today to Blisschick, as she answers our December question:

What is the main difficulty you have encountered in trying to craft a life of bliss? What have you tried to do about this?

The main difficulty I've encountered in trying to craft a life of bliss is overcoming my resistance to breaking the rules.

In The Four Agreements, Miguel Ruiz writes about how we are conditioned to have certain beliefs and live our lives a certain way, according to society's "rules." You didn't consciously agree to these rules, but they are imprinted in your mind at very early age. Everything is subject to these rules: how you should look, how you should act, what is considered an "acceptable" career path, the "appropriate" way to express yourself, and so on. These beliefs are so deeply ingrained in your mind that you often don't consciously recognize that you could choose a alternative path. Instead, you beat yourself up for not conforming to society's expectations and vow to do better.

But somewhere along the way, if you're lucky, you have an awakening of sorts. Sometimes you can trace your awakening to a single distilled moment in time and sometimes it's a gradual process. You realize that there's more to life than following the rules. You realize that the rules are, in fact, an illusion.

You realize that your bliss is out there, waiting for you.

However, for a lot of people, pursuing our authentic bliss would require breaking all kinds of rules. And to clarify, when I talk about "breaking all kinds of rules," I don't mean engaging in reckless and/or dangerous behavior. I mean making mindful and authentic choices that might diverge from the norm but ultimately bring you closer to your bliss. Following your bliss might require you to dramatically re-arrange your priorities or even change your whole way of being. It might require you to make choices that other people don't understand. So you resist. It would be too difficult, you tell yourself. What would people think? How would my friends (or parents or partner) react? It would be too messy, too complicated, too time-consuming, too expensive, too whatever.

The great irony is that we are extremely creative in finding reasons to avoid pursuing our bliss!

This internal resistance can be incredibly hard to overcome. I struggle with it on a daily basis as I continue on my path toward bliss (which, for me, means honoring my creative talents and infusing creativity into my everyday life). I've found that the best way to overcome this resistance is to confront it directly.

When I feel my resistance cropping up, I call it out. Hey you! Resistance! Yes, I'm talking to you! I see you over there in the corner of my mind, and I've got some questions for you!

For example, you might ask yourself:

"What am I resisting?"

Making time for creative projects.

"What so-called rule is at the root of my resistance?"

I shouldn't make time for creative projects because I have too many other things on my to-do list.

"What would happen if I broke that rule?"

I might become deeply absorbed in the project and forget my to-do list altogether.

"Is there another way I might look at the situation?" (Play devil's advocate with yourself here.)

Well...I might create something wonderful. Getting into a creative groove might even help me think of a new and innovative way to approach something else on my to-do list. I'll probably still accomplish the other items on my to-do list, and if I don't, it won't be the end of the world.

A really powerful exercise is to make a list of 10 (or more!) blissful things you are resisting, and then, for each item on your list, answer the questions above, either saying your responses out loud or writing them down in a journal. I promise that, by the time you're done, you'll feel a new sense of empowerment, and you'll be itching to do some mindful rule-breaking! You may end up deciding that now really isn't the right time to do whatever it is, but the decision will be based on a thoughtful exploration of your options instead of fearful resistance.

Bringing your resistance into the light will enable you to keep it in perspective and empower you to make follow your bliss. If you follow your bliss, you can't help but be extraordinary. And that, my friends, is the truest rule I know.

BlissObstacles: Picking Up Other People's Crap

2009-12-01T05:00:00.004-05:00

Almost a month ago, I put out a call for submissions from all you Blisschicks and Wild Women to write for this little site. I got some great responses and will be posting them this week.

For guidelines, go here.

I'll start taking submissions again from now until January 5th for the next prompt:

On an airplane, they remind you to give yourself
oxygen before worrying about a child or an elderly person.
If you can't breathe, you can't help anyone else.
How do you make sure to give yourself
necessary "oxygen" in your day to day life?

Remember, check the guidelines that I linked to above.

Today's Guest Blogger

Today, we have the first post answering our first prompt which was:

What is the main difficulty you have encountered in trying to craft a life of bliss? What have you tried to do about this?

Sallieann started writing her blog, Bunny Bites, when she was struggling to remain a vegetarian while traveling for her job. It's packed with recipes and all sorts of Yumminess and is completely Rabbit Approved (thus the photo of Miss Zoe at the top). She wrote the following:

Wikipedia describes bliss as, "a state of profound spiritual satisfaction, happiness or joy, often associated with religious ideas of the afterlife." Most of the time I nail this pretty well. I describe myself as a deeply happy person, but I'm also sensitive...super-sensitive. And although I might be having a grand day, I pick up on other people's unhappiness or frustration and it easily knocks me down a notch or two.

This has happened a few times this week. I had a yoga accident Saturday, leaving me unable to go to a Halloween party I'd been excited about all the prior week. Then I smashed my toe on Wednesday, which led to a trip to the emergency room. Through all of this, I was surprisingly up-beat with a few exceptions. All exceptions had to do with close friends who are going through challenging times. Instead of giving them space to sort themselves out...maybe offering a few kind words and then waiting for them to reach out, I jump right in with them and wallow around. It drains me and I need to stop.

So, I recommit myself to morning meditation and a bit of sweaty yoga to purge my soul. And I end each and every day in bed with my gratitudes. And I remind myself, that right here and right now...in this very state and body and mind...this is exactly where I'm supposed to be on my wonderful and exciting journey. And then I hunker down, peep out over the covers and wonder what's going to happen next!

Can any of you relate to this issue? I certainly can!

How do you deal with it?

Rewriting Story

2009-11-30T05:00:00.002-05:00

My wings reside in my feet...

I always call people on those stories they tell that begin with "I was born to be/do...but..."

"But what?!" I say to them. "There is no but...it's never too late...figure it out a different way..."

I am annoying, aren't I?

But could I hear myself using those same lines? No. Of course not. Not until now, anyway. I thought my "but" was legitimate -- as opposed to other people's. (Yes. I am totally making fun of myself, if you are missing that.)

My story has always been that I was born to be a dancer, that that is my most natural ability, that that is my greatest gift, but I was born into the wrong environment and missed my chance.

Yet if I excavate my core beliefs, this is nothing but bullshit.

I believe we are born into a time and a place for a reason. I believe that we go through all that we go through for a reason. I believe we take physical form to grow in very specific ways spiritually.

Saying I was born into the wrong environment is not a valid excuse in the face of these beliefs. It is illogical.

You see, I am walking this Path of Dancer every day. I work hard; I push myself; I focus on process. But I walk this Path with so much fear still about age and missed opportunity. I am not trusting my own beliefs or this Life.

If I really believe in the "no mistakes" theory, I must believe that I was born to be a Dancer who would get quite lost, who would suffer severe emotional distress, who would pull herself up, who would find love, and then, finally, find her True Self.

At 40.

Sticking with this line of logic, I must then believe that there is meaning in finding Dance again at an age when most people are thinking about retiring or transitioning away from Dance.

There must be a purpose for me yet to be discovered in this particular role within this particular story. Just because I can't see it yet, doesn't mean it's not there.

A year ago, I would never ever have seen where I am right now. NEVER.

This is one of those cases when my Heart must allow my logical Brain to lead a bit. My Heart must trust this logic and abandon its fear -- a fear that still binds me and prevents me from leaping rather than just hopping about.

It turns out, you see, that I am the Cliff, the Bird, the Air Current, the Cloud, and the Beat of the Wing. I am the Impulse and the Action. I am the Great Unknown and also the Possibility.

This seems extra appropriate right now with Advent having just started -- a time of waiting for the birth of Light and Love and the fulfillment of Holy Longing.

Recently in a post, I wrote that I have experienced a rebirth.

Time to slap the baby's bum and get to the messy and beautiful living.

Wherever a dancer stands ready,
that spot is holy ground.
--Martha Graham

Amen, Martha. Amen.

Note: I leave this coming Sunday for Kripalu to complete my YogaDance teacher training. For the rest of this week, I'll be sharing some wonderful guest posts about obstacles to bliss. I will blog from my training, like last time.

MysticBliss: The Waiting Begins

2009-11-29T10:51:00.004-05:00

Today, as many of you may know, is the first day of the Advent season, which is all about my favorite thing -- Waiting. (Yes. I am using sarcasm in a post about Advent...)

Seriously. I am not good at waiting. You know this if you've been reading here for more than, say, five seconds.

And yet...

Last year by creating some ritual around Advent, I found that the anticipation created a much more meaningful Christmas season.

And this year, I am finding that waiting is coming just a bit more naturally to me. For instance, I have no idea where this new Dance path is leading me and I am fine with that (most of the time).

One of the resources I used last year was this great site by the Church of England. It's wonderfully liberal and broad minded, just the sort of thing that I happen to think Christ would have appreciated! :)

If you celebrate this season, I ask you: What are you waiting to birth in your life?

MusicBliss: GLEEfully Recommended

2009-11-28T10:20:00.002-05:00

Is there a reason you aren't watching the television show Glee? Because I can't imagine a good one -- reason, that is.

Marcy and I watch this via iTunes and we can barely wait for the next one to load.

This story of the magic of music to transform our lives; this story of the underdog having special "powers"; this story of the hell that is high school that we must all figure out a way to survive...it's worth your time.

And the music! There were some missteps, yes, when they started to overproduce and it covered up all the raw emotion, but they figured it out and some truly special arrangements have come out of their vision.

Like this. It has to be my favorite so far.

Glitter Gratitude

2009-11-27T05:00:00.001-05:00

You probably can't tell, but that is a pink glitter flower ring. It only cost a few dollars, and when I put it on, I am instantly giggling and happy. That is a lot of bang for our buck!

When I first started this blog, like most blogs, it had a completely different focus. Or maybe not. It seemed like it to me.

I wanted to only write about things that were making me happy, but that felt, quickly, like a partial story and the whole story is what gives those giggle moments their full meaning.

When I first started this blog, I wrote a lot about my formula for happiness, which was, and still pretty much is, this:

Happiness = (Geekery + Glitter)2

Today, on this day after Thanksgiving, I would like to give thanks for the glitter in my life, because Shiny, Giggling, and Beauty are all important to our Souls. They are the food of our Spirits.

This is the stuff that comprises the Cherry on top of our Life Cakes. (mmmm...cake...)

The sun coming through this window as I write.

The pink glitter ring on my finger.

The string of Christmas lights that I hung
around the central doorway downstairs.

The candles that we light at night.

The stars in the clear night sky.

The many colored scarves that I wrap
around my neck for warmth and style.

The tiny pink, polka dotted toe-undeez that serve
a purpose but are so cute.

The Keen, black ballet flat shoes that remind me
"I am Dancer" every time I look down at my feet.

The beaded fruit hanging around a mirror in
the living room. (Yes. Beaded fruit.)

The Advent candles on the mantle.

The new attitude I have since I've started dancing -- the way I wake up in the morning excited for my day, complete with glittered butterflies in my tum.

How about you? What is shiny and beautiful in your life these days? Or are you in need of a Glitter Injection?

Hierarchy of Gratitude

2009-11-26T05:00:00.003-05:00

As you read this, Marcy is preparing to turn these organic lemons into a fresh, homemade lemon curd tart.

I am thankful every time I shop at our organic grocer that we can afford to be shopping there. So many people do not have enough to eat, much less have access to high quality food. Or people don't understand that there are better choices than diet pops and prepackaged meals.

We can afford it and we know about it: we are wealthy both in resource and information.

Thinking of wealth beyond dollars, reminded me of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs -- a pyramid that truly exhibits how privileged many of us are.

(Note: This is not a guilt post. Far from it. Having more, means we are held more accountable, I think, to the larger community.)

Today, during this American Thanksgiving, I am grateful for living a life where the following needs are met in abundance:

Physiological

Marcy and I eat well and live in a beautiful home that is small by North American standards but would house entire families in most communities on this globe. We live in a clean city. We have clean drinking water that comes right into our home. We live in a city in which we are able to easily get around. We sleep and rest in peace.

Safety

We sleep and rest and live our lives free of fear that comes with War or extreme poverty. Our employment is safe, even in these difficult times. Our neighborhood is safe and we know our neighbors, which increases that safety.

Love/Belonging

Obviously, this need is fully met, as explained in my post yesterday.

Esteem

Love and respect for yourself and a feeling that others love and respect you. I struggle, like anyone, with self esteem, but I never doubt that I can do whatever I put my mind to -- evidence that I don't struggle very hard. And I know others love and respect me

Self Actualization

This category includes creativity and spontaneity and a sense of meaning and purpose and the opportunity for peak experiences.

I was thinking about this a lot lately in terms of my YogaDance teacher training and the extreme privilege that that is. We can afford to send me away -- not that we don't have to save -- but beyond the money, I have the time.

The fact that I can spend so much of my energy seeking, pursuing meaning, asking the "big" questions, finding ways to use my gifts to their fullest potentials -- yes, I am aware and grateful.

More so all the time.

Love Gratitude

2009-11-25T05:00:00.001-05:00

I am so grateful for all of the Love in my life.

I swim in it every day. Like Lilly cat in this photo worshiping the sun, I feel bathed in the Light of So Much Love.

The love in my life is wrapped in glistening black and white fur -- and gray fur and white fur and a bit of orange.

The love in my life giggles sweetly and has carried me through grief until I, too, could giggle.

The love in my life helps to build my dreams, supports my desires, and holds up my wishes. (Those are just a few examples.)

The love in my life carves pathways through dark woods that emerge in brightly lit fields of (sun)flowers.

How about you? What does the love look like in your life?

Body Gratitude

2009-11-24T05:00:00.002-05:00

I am Grateful for this Body.

For someone who has suffered from all sorts of disordered eating and body image issues, that, my Friendly Chicks, is a huge and important sentence.

Because guess what? I actually mean it!

I am Grateful for this Body as she rediscovers her Love of Dance, as she takes me on this Adventure of a Lifetime, as she learns to use her Wings.

I am Grateful for this Body as she lifts bigger weights for more repetitions, as she shakes and sweats and grunts and Just Does It!

I am Grateful for this Body as she stands in releve and does not falter or does falter and then calmly re-finds her center.

I am Grateful for this Body as she moves and grooves and shakes and wiggles and turns and twirls and lifts and lands and Shows. Her. Stuff.

I am Grateful for this Body as she breathes deeply and feels the rhythms and sees the sounds recreated in her physical movements.

I am Grateful for this Body as she stretches beyond her Wildest Dreams.

I am Grateful for this Body as she Glows and Shines and Sparkles and Beholds her own Beauty.

I am Grateful for this Body.

I thank Saint Cecilia and Goddesses Terpsichore and Hathor and Brighid and Saraswati.

I thank the Wind and the Water.

I thank the Desire residing in my very blood and being.

I thank the Universe and the Dance that is embedded in the stuff of life.

CountDOWN! & Some News

2009-11-23T05:00:00.001-05:00

Oh, my, it is officially less than two weeks until I travel back to Massachusetts for the final week of YogaDance teacher training.

Oh. My.

Even if my brain did not know this, my body would. As you all know by know (aren't you sick of hearing this!?), I am a horrible traveler, and I start to get worked up about every single tiny detail approximately two weeks before I have to go somewhere.

It seems like there is just not enough time.

And before you get all Buddhist or Power of Now on me, I know this is actually an illusion. I know that! Could someone tell the nerves in my tummy, please?

In the meantime, did you all notice that there is a freaking holiday this week? Which means company! Which means my schedule gets thrown off! Which means that lack of time feeling gets even bigger!

Besides my own drama, I have some wonderful news that I wanted to share with you.

If you've not read about my writing group, go here where I wrote a description of each of the members. Besides myself and Marcy, there are two other women and one lonely male.

Dr. Captain America, I dubbed him. If you met him and his giant smile and his big guns (meaning BICEPS), you would know why we call him that.

Anyway, he has started a blog!

Please go visit him! He is writing about his life as a father, husband, ER physician, and writer.

Very cool stuff. He's a great storyteller (and thus the name of his site).

Make him feel welcome. I know you can!

MusicBliss: RIP Michael Hutchence

2009-11-22T05:00:00.003-05:00

I remember exactly where I was on this date in 1997. I was driving down a very specific block of our city, going North, and the Sun was bright and beautiful and I had the windows down. Typical for the days around my birthday, actually.

I had the radio on and learned that Michael Hutchence had killed himself. Their CD Elegantly Wasted was new enough that Marcy and I didn't have it. We didn't get it. I couldn't listen to him.

For me, Michael Hutchence is one of those unique, brilliant singers who comes along very rarely. He was constantly pushing himself, daring with his voice.

Just recently, as I dance through my life now, I realized I could hear him again and not identify with the despair of him. I could just dance and appreciate what he was trying to do.

So in honor of him today, a selection from that last CD, a CD that is over 10 years old and sounds brand new -- a CD, I think, that was ahead of itself.

One of the most emotional performances I have ever viewed:

Something much more lighthearted right here.

A video that I could never watch enough times, especially starting at minute 3:22 (when the Japanese drummers come in).

And a classic that they did at every single concert (a montage of many concerts):

41 is Just a Number

2009-11-20T05:00:00.002-05:00

As I am writing this, I am listening to Pandora and the band that is playing? The Pimps of Joytime. I think that is just right.

I am 41 today, and yet, I have never felt younger, more alive, more vital, more excited.

Last year, when I turned 40, I was a bit traumatized. I wasn't quite sure what to make of this aging thing because I was not yet fully living.

Within a few months of my 40th, we lost a very special and dear friend, and shortly after, we went to the Wedding That Changed My Life, the wedding where my heart reached to the sky and blossomed like those cosmos in the picture above. The wedding where I danced and twirled back into my own body, back into my own essence, right back into my Purpose.

There are moments when I think, "What if I hadn't gone? What if I had canceled like I was tempted? What if the Sad we were feeling had stopped us from experiencing that moment?"

I can feel my heart flutter in my chest when I think like that, and I remind myself that there is no point to those thoughts, that I did go to the wedding, that I did get myself back, and I say a little prayer of thanks to the Universe for this Ultimate Gift of ReBirth.

So really, today is my ReBirthday. I am in my First Year of my Bliss Life.

If it sounds like a conversion experience to you, that's because it totally feels like one.

When I got back from Kripalu and my teacher training, I wrote that I didn't know if I could ever really express what happened there, and I still can't, but that's as close as words can get -- I was converted.

I was converted from Depressed to Happy. I was converted from Shadow to Real. I was converted from Sideline to Center Stage.

All of this had been happening inside of me already -- you know, like the phrase "overnight success." There really is no such thing. There is always this long and difficult path behind the overnight that you just don't see. The process had started for me years ago, but it was going away and Being Seen that acted as the Final and Necessary Alchemy.

From coal to Diamond -- in a Snap! A big, shiny Diamond of Hope, at that.

Anything is Possible.

Panic at the Disco

2009-11-19T09:57:00.003-05:00

There's no disco involved in this post, though there is dancing, and well, sometimes there is so much dancing here at the lilypad that maybe you could see it as a disco of sorts. A disco with cats!

Excuse the silly. Sugar and wine last night during our writing group.

Though there's no literal disco, there is some panic.

I woke up this morning in a bit of one -- again, a panic and not a disco. I would prefer, I think, waking up in the latter.

I woke up this morning with my mind already moving like a train through the countryside -- way too fast.

I realized, upon opening my eyes, that I am now less than two and a half weeks from returning to Kripalu for the second half of my YogaDance teacher training.

Now, I am excited about that. I am excited to see those people again. I am uber excited to be back on such a strict daily schedule (hello, German blood).

What I panic about is my perception that I have not met some crazy goals I set for myself for the time in between the two parts of the teacher training.

I have not gotten to three hours of movement a day.

I have not choreographed prayer dances and line dances and circle dances.

I have not become perfect!

I mock myself, but I think many of you understand.

Believe it or not, I am breathing, by the way.

I could go into emergency get-it-done mode but that won't happen, because a) I'm just not into that any more and b) hello?! Holidays!?

This is all about balance.

I have goals. It's good to have goals. But then how do you balance that so you don't become obsessed, like some wide eyed, steroid-enhanced hamster on the Wheel from Hell?

Embracing the Difficulty of Change

2009-11-18T08:46:00.004-05:00

I go back to Kripalu for the second part of my YogaDance teacher training in just two and a half weeks! Since I've returned from the first part, I have been on a bit of a roller coaster ride, to put it mildly.

I keep reminding myself that all change can be difficult -- even good change.

As is my nature, though, I have been fighting this, so Jamie's Wishcasting question today is perfect:

What do you wish to embrace?

I wish to embrace this journey, fully.

I wish to completely understand that I am not just growing and becoming when I am on schedule and feeling great and dancing my heart out, but that I am also growing and becoming when I am exhausted, when I doubt, when I don't feel like it any more.

When I don't embrace these parts of the journey, I resist them and then I judge myself for them.

Rather than just accepting, for example, that there will be moments when I lose sight of what I am doing, I tell myself that I am not dedicated enough or that I am in danger of quitting completely.

Yep. That really helps!

If I embrace all these parts, I can see that this is my old brain, my fearful brain that worries I might fail, and it's also the part of my heart that wants to protect me from disappointment.

To be really truthful, it's also just old, lazy patterns. Those patterns that thought it was easier and safer to stay in the status quo. Those patterns that were comfortable but were not challenging or stimulating me to be the Shiniest version of myself.

Do you expect good change to be easy and comfortable? Are you willing to embrace pain and difficulty to birth your beautiful dreams?

(Photo & Text Copyright: Christine C. Reed, blisschick.net, 2009)

A BreakUp for New Year's

2009-11-17T05:00:00.004-05:00

I've written about my personal struggle with body image right here, and we had a very interesting discussion around body image and yoga right here.

This stuff hits nerves, ya know?

As I dance my way to better fitness, I have had to be very careful to eat correctly, which for me mostly means eating enough. Here's the thing: If you don't eat enough, your body goes into a Panic about Starvation. Your body fears there won't be enough for tomorrow, so it holds onto what it already has extra tight. It grips.

You will not lose weight in a healthy manner or gain muscle and stamina if you eat too little. Period.

I can tell when I am lifting weights, for example, if I ate correctly two days before. (I think my energy level is two days behind my eating habits.)

If I did not eat enough calories, or enough protein specifically, my muscles immediately feel tired. They get this deep ache after just a few lifts.

There is a big and important lesson in there, and as usual, my body is way smarter than my brain.

Years ago, I was so obsessed with my weight, that I would weigh myself not just daily but many times a day. I would go to the bathroom and think, "Hmmmm...I just took a piss...I wonder if I weigh less now?"

Yep. Obsessed.

I know I am not alone.

So Marcy, in her infinite wisdom, made me do something that I am grateful for to this day: She made me throw that scale away.

And with it, sitting out at the curb, went much of my Self Hate.

I no longer had that number with which to bludgeon myself. I could not insert it into some sick, malignant mantra of Judgment.

I know many of you are already coming up with a half dozen reasons why you can't do this. You are freaking out inside. You are breaking into a cold sweat.

But, why? Ask yourself, Why do you need this number?

Why can't you rely on how you feel? On how strong you are? On how far you can run? On how your clothes fit?

Why can't we accept our individual beauty for what it is?

We must stop the tyranny of this Evil lurking in our bathrooms.

I call on you all, you Blisschicks, to participate in

World Wide Dump Your Scale Day
on January 1, 2010.

That's right -- January 1st. That day so many of us would be starting some unmanageable weight loss plan. That day so many of us would hit the gym -- too hard and be done within a month. That day that is shiny and new in its (false) promises.

Instead of torturing yourself, I want you to set yourself FREE. Set your friends free. Set an example for all the little girls around us.

Kick that scale to the curb. Say bu-bye.

Pass this around. Here's a blog button you can use if you feel strongly about this.

Just click it and drag it onto your desktop and paste it into your blog.

Stop the Tyranny of Numbers!

Eat well, exercise to a good sweat, and laugh every day. That's a much better New Year's Resolution, don't you think?

Owning Pink

2009-11-16T08:55:00.005-05:00

Have you discovered this fabulous website, blog, community yet? You should check it out -- and not just because I wrote a piece about finding my mojo -- a piece I'm particularly proud of. (Smile.)

Once you're there, be sure to spend some time and do a little digging and perhaps even set up your own profile so you can get involved with all these other fabulous women who are stretching themselves, their wings, and their lives.

Here's the mission statement of this beautiful creation:

We at Owning Pink are committed to inviting you to explore your truth, knowing you are loved, nurtured, and safe. By engaging with our community, we hope you will feel inspired, get motivated to bring your authentic self out of the closet, and take steps that bring you closer to health, healing, and inner peace. If you have lost your mojo and feel you have little to give, we welcome you with no expectations. If you’re a rockin’ Pink Goddess with loads of mojo and gifts you believe will benefit our community, we invite you to share your wisdom and support others who may cherish knowing you. Chances are you’re all of the above, sometimes seeking, sometimes giving, always enough.

Regardless of where you are on your personal path of awakening, we welcome you to the Pink Posse. Let us bear witness to your journey, knowing that while each of us walks a unique path, we walk it in good company. May Owning Pink encourage you to look within and discover what you need to find and keep your mojo. Remember that it is through our wounds that we connect and through our connections that we become truly alive.

MysticBliss: Wild Woman Katharine Hepburn

2009-11-15T05:00:00.000-05:00

You have to love that grumpy look on her face!

Why Katharine?

She wore pants and dared to understate the one thing her culture found most valuable -- her beauty. She loved whomever she wanted. And she lived how she wanted.

A few quotes:

If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun.

If you always do what interests you,
at least one person is pleased.

Without discipline, there's no life at all.

Here's a great snippet of an interview with her later in life:

MusicBliss: Morocco

2009-11-14T05:00:00.001-05:00

A taste of the music from this amazing land:

Finding Your Own Optimal BPM

2009-11-13T05:00:00.002-05:00

In college, I knew some DJ's. At that point, they were still using...records, and the best of the best of these DJ's moved each song smoothly into the next and even aimed to match BPM's when he did so. BPM's -- Beats Per Minute.

This DJ taught me that most people in a club setting like to dance to music that has about 120 beats per minute. He said more than that and most people sit down.

Right now, my favorite music to dance to is Salsa and the typical BPMs on that are 180 to 220.

Yes. It's fast.

Yesterday, I was talking about the "shoulds" that can still haunt my days, like anyone else.

One of the main things I am working on is getting into a regular schedule that feeds me, and it hit me while standing at the kitchen window yesterday evening that this schedule thing is all about finding my rhythm.

Again, I can take a lesson from dance.

Right now, my favorite thing is Salsa but that wasn't the case just two weeks ago when I was thoroughly absorbed by traditional, Broadway-type jazz.

A few weeks before that, I was playing around with (egads!) slow songs.

My body's desire for rhythm is constantly in flux and so I wonder why I would be surprised that the same is true of my brain.

As I am in this Salsa space in my body, I am also writing a lot more and a lot faster. I cram in a ton of work rather quickly.

It just so happens that this mode of working matches the way my ego likes to think about me: efficient and quick and productive and never stopping! What happens to my ego when I am in a slow song stage of life?

You got it -- my ego gets all "oh...I suck!"

But my body never goes there. My body just thinks, "mmmm...yummmm...slow songs...nice change...let's see what I can do with this."

Oh, Body, you are so much smarter than Brain could ever be.

Why? Because brain is just an organ. It's an organ that we ascribe a lot of power to, but doing this is a lot like suddenly deciding that our livers are in charge.

Nope. It's the whole of us that has the most important and wise stuff to say.

Do you allow the rhythm of your life to ebb and flow?

(Photo & Text Copyright: Christine C. Reed, blisschick.net, 2009, Sculpture/Terra Vista Studio)

Perfect & Infinite, We each Are

2009-11-12T09:08:00.003-05:00

My particular bliss path of dance and writing excites me on a daily basis. Since I've returned to dance, I am never understimulated or without ideas. I am overflowing with ideas, actually, and I wish I had a few more hours in the day, though the thought of that also exhausts me!

Excitement and stimulation aside, I am also met with daily struggles.

Which is the point, right? I've said this a million times -- being a blisschick is about the daily choices we make and this is hard. Most people don't really want to take this kind of responsibility for their lives or they are stuck in self-defeating patterns that they are blind to or...well, there are a million reasons why most people don't see their lives as something they are in charge of.

Right now, my main struggles are centered around a lot of those "shoulds" that haunt most of us.

I think my body should be changing faster.

I think I should be dancing more hours a day than I do.

I think I should still be reading multiple books a week.

I think I should write in my paper journal a whole lot more.

I think I should be eating better, drinking more water, taking my vitamins.

This list could go on and on and it gets ridiculous with minutiae pretty quickly (as evidenced by "taking my vitamins").

None of this "should" thinking, though, fits in with the person I know I am when I am dancing. The person who is already right where she needs to be; the person who does enough; the person who is enough.

See...this is the main clue that dancing is my central thing -- the fact that I feel like the perfect and infinite being that I am while I am doing it. And yes, this feeling has started to leak out past the boundaries of those moments of dance, and I feel that way for more of my day than ever in my life.

How about you?

When in your life do you feel like the perfect and infinite being you are? What are you doing when that happens?

And please, none of this "we should feel this while we are just being; it shouldn't be reliant on some doing..." We are spiritual beings, yes, but we have physical form in order to have a physical experience of life.

It is through physical experience that we touch our spirits. It's simply how we are made.

I think we get stuck in this line of thinking about "just being," and we use it to denigrate ourselves, to judge ourselves. We get mired in it.

When really, we are made, built, meant to have fun, to experience happiness.

So, again, what are you doing when you feel utterly in your center?

(Photo and text copyright: Christine C. Reed, blisschick.net, 2009)

WishCasting: Double Dog Dare!

2009-11-11T10:12:00.004-05:00

But I am FORTY!

And I will be FORTY ONE a week from this Friday!

I could say this til the cows come home and it wouldn't make any difference anymore.

Yes, I am forty and I will be forty one, but I am alive and whole and happy when I dance. That is who I am and age means nothing when it comes to the needs and dreams of my soul.

This week, for Wishcasting Wednesday, Jamie Ridler asks us:

What do you Dare?

I dare to defy convention.

I dare to defy my own understanding of age.

I dare to defy what other's would have me believe.

Above all, I now, officially, dare myself to be Significant and Shiny.

No more hiding.

No more thinking small.

No more justifying thinking small.

No more putting it off.

Today, I want to turn Jamie's Wishcasting around, and so:

I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU!

I double dog dare you to be the significant being you were born to be.

I double dog dare you to stop hiding, to stop thinking small, to stop limiting yourself, to stop justifying this slow death you are living.

I double dog dare you to set your dreams free.

I double dog dare you to live the happy, full, beautiful life we are all meant for.

I double dog dare you to stop the damn excuses, to murder that cast of opera divas who live in your head, to drown each and every freaking gremlin who comes to your door.

I double dog dare you to stop living with all these damn rules about who, what, when, and where!

I double dog dare you to spin and twirl through this life while wearing sparkles and bitch boots.

I double dog dare you to believe in it all because it's more fun that way!

I double dog dare you to have the faith and awe about life of your wee child self -- the one who knew she could touch the moon outside her bedroom window; the one who knew every single person on this planet would want to watch her dance; the one who knew that life was sweet like ripened summer blueberries.

How's that for some wishcasting?

(Photo & Text Copyright: Christine C. Reed, blisschick.net, 2009)