Musings of a chick

Ponderings...

2008-07-03T08:59:00.000-04:00

Seven years ago today, I was on the road to Maryland with my cat and my then-husband in tow. I was headed to a new life with bits of the old life sticking to it. I interviewed for (and got) a job at the GEICO headquarters, so in a sense you could say I was "chasing the lizard".

Life changes so much. I didn't count on many of the things that happened in my life. Some were good, some were way bad. But all of them happened.

I've noticed the tone of my blog changing, and I'm not sure why other than I've become more contemplative and less Hollyweird-centric. Celebrities still fascinate me but not to the point where I have to write about 'em all the time. I guess that's why I haven't been posting as much, because I want to focus on other things.

So if you ride the wave with me and be patient if a few days go without a post, I'll reward you the best I can.

Happy 4th, y'all!

It's a MEME for a WEDNESDAY

2008-07-02T10:09:00.001-04:00

A is for age:
39

B is for burger of choice?
McDonald's. I figure if I'm gonna clog my arteries, do it on the cheap.

C is for what kind of car you drive?
2007 Chevy Cobalt

D is for your dog's name:
I don't have a dog...the last dog I had was named Willie.

E is for essential item you use everyday:
Deodorant

F is for favorite TV show at the moment:
anything on Boomerang

Um...where's G?

H is for Hometown:
Washington, Iowa

I is for instruments you play:
I sing and play saxophone (sometimes) and piano (almost never).

J is for favorite juice:
Apple

K is for whose butt you'd like to kick?
Oh...so many butts, so little time.

L is for last restaurant you ate at?
McDonald's

M is for marriage:
Married twice, no hurry for 3rd

N is for Number of Piercings:
ears (before they grew shut)

O is for overnight hospital stays?
A few...I've discussed 'em before

P is for people you were with today
Coworkers and Doug

Q is for what you do with your quiet time:
Read, listen to music, sleep.

R is for your BIGGEST regret:
That I let myself take all the crap that was thrown at me as a kid regarding my weight, and all, so personally for so long.

S is for status:
Significant otherhood

T is for time you woke up today:
Which one?

U is for what you consider unique:
Myself.

V is for vegetable you love:
Fresh carrots...NOT cooked!

W is for worst habit?
Procrastination.

X is for x-rays you've had:
a couple

Y is for yummy food you ate today:
Creme-filled donut

Z is for zodiac sign:
Aquarius

Another Muppet Clip...OH NO!

2008-06-30T14:12:00.001-04:00

By now, you folks should know that I love the Muppets. If you don't know by now you haven't been paying attention.

When I was a kid, Harry Belafonte was a guest on "The Muppet Show" and he performed this song...

If the lyrics aren't clear, I'm sorry about that. But basically, it goes like this:

We come from the fire
living in the fire
go back to the fire
turn the world around

We come from the water
living in the water
go back to the water
turn the world around

We come from the mountain
living on the mountain
go back to the mountain
turn the world around

Woh-hoh, so is life
Wah-hah, so is life
Woh-hoh, so is life
Wah-hah, so is life

Do you know who I am?
Do I know who you are?
See we one another clearly?
Do we know who we are?

Water make the river
river wash the mountain
fire makes the sunlight
turn the world around

heart is of the river
body is the mountain
spirit is the sunlight
turn the world around

we are of the spirit
truly of the spirit
only can the spirit
turn the world around

Wo-ho, so is life
a wa ti wa-ha
so is life...

I think this is such a wonderful number and I'll tell you why. It's the best way I've ever seen/heard spirituality explained.

I'm no theologian, but to me this explains what being a spiritual person is all about. It explains the relationship between the heart, the body and the soul and how if we're aware of ourselves and other people, we all can make a difference in this world. It's not catering to a specific religion either. It just says that we have the power to turn the world around - to turn our lives around - to turn others' lives around. We just have to be aware of it to appreciate it.

I know it sounds hokey and I'm probably way off base, but whenever I feel like I don't matter, this song pops in my head and I feel like I'm part of something.

Today's "Sudiecinema"...a quickie cultural moment with Yo-Yo Ma and the Muppets

2008-06-27T08:32:00.001-04:00

sing - sing a song - sing out loud, sing out strong...

2008-06-26T13:24:00.001-04:00

Ed H. asks me why I don't write more about singing.

To be honest, I'm not sure why I don't. I figure it's something I do instinctively and how can you write about that?

I know I get uptight about bad singing. All the years of choir and voice lessons have made sure of that. If someone cracks a flat or sharp note in the wrong place (myself included), I wince. I get even more uptight when bad singers think they're good and put down others...I have to bite my tongue very very hard to keep from giving them a verbal thrashing.

I've always been conflicted about singing. I love to sing but I'm always fighting the curse of being pigeon-holed. I mean, there's more to me than a throat, right? The only problem is I have yet to figure out all the other things I can do besides sing so I can honestly say, "I do more than that, I (fill in the blank with various skills)..." It always seems like people treat me differently when they find out I can sing. I don't know if I like that. I always feel like if my voice disappears, so will I. That's my greatest fear.

My nieces love to sing. They sing in church choir and choir at school as well. They always want me to sing to them over the phone. I wonder if they'll always be singing like I have. I hate to see people stop making music when they're good at it, you know? Life gets in the way of what we want to do, but who says you have to give up everything?

So there, Ed. I wrote about singing - hope you're happy.

Nyah nyah nyah.

Moment of Dad..."Handkerchiefs"

2008-06-24T14:35:00.002-04:00

I'm still saddened about the passing of George Carlin. I really thought he was a funny man, and irreverence is something much treasured here at Rancho Sudiegirl.

What amazes me is that George Carlin is in the same general age group as my dad, but their lives were SO different. Let's face it, my dad was working a straight job and raising kids while George Carlin was performing and raising kids. I'd probably have to say that George's daughter had a different childhood (and a more colorful vocabulary) than mine.

But since Dad and George were in the same general age group, I have to ponder this...did George Carlin ever use a handkerchief?

The reason I ask this is because for many years, my dad used a handkerchief all the time. I don't know if it's a generational thing or what, but Dad ALWAYS had a handkerchief. Sometimes it was a white one (don't remember if they were monogrammed), sometimes it was a red or blue bandanna.

But he always had one with him. He had one drawer dedicated to hankies, and it was regularly raided by my sister and I.

Why? Because when hankies are artfully draped and bound with rubber bands, they make divine evening gowns for Barbie dolls. I don't know how many times he had to strip our Barbies because he was running out of hankies.

My mom had handkerchiefs as well, but hers were the pretty lacy kind that you would never dare blow your nose with for fear they'd fall apart. Dad's hankies were built to last. Dad could pull out his hankie at a moment's notice to dry the tears of his three "girls" and other females who needed tears wiped away. Hankies and cigarettes were the two most identifiable signs of Dad in my mind.

So yeah...I wonder if George Carlin was a "hankie man" like Dad or if he used Kleenex instead. I guess I'll never know now.

R.I.P. George Carlin

2008-06-23T07:08:00.003-04:00

It's ironic...I was listening to George's "Free Floating Hostility" routine last night and today, this news comes up.

George Carlin is an icon and will be missed. Anyone who can make me and my mother both laugh for different reasons can't be all bad.

Friday is SudieCinema day! Today it's Scred and Lily Tomlin

2008-06-20T13:35:00.000-04:00

Thursday with a thud

2008-06-19T09:57:00.002-04:00

I'm feeling a little better today. I think the adjustment of meds was just what I needed. I was wound for sound and now I'm a little more mellow. Not so mellow that I let everything fall by the wayside, fellow bloggers. Just mellow enough.

The floodwaters in IA are slowly changing, with the danger moving further south along the Mississippi. Jesus. I don't know how they can stand it, but they're going along and doing all they can to protect their property and stay safe...that is, except for the foolhardy souls that think they can just go through the floodwaters like Superman. But there's always someone who acts the fool...they must serve as the benchmark for exactly how far you can go before society labels you a complete moron.

At any rate, I have been trying to stay away from political stuff. Obama's the man right now, and I'm happy about that although it took long enough for Hillary to suspend things and do what she needed to do for the good of the Democratic party. Now we just have to mend fences and look at the general election.

I do wonder, though, how candidates can make it through. Seriously...that's a lot of work. They must prepare themselves for it some way, but HOW is definitely beyond me.

Let's face it...your job depends on going all over hell's half acre and telling everyone why you're better than someone else just to get voted into the job. And it's never just about you...it's also about your spouse and kids (if applicable). Everyone's watching you...watching you eat, drink, sleep, go through the daily motions of life as well as the speeches you make and the interviews you give. No privacy whatsoever, folks.

Then you've got four years to prove yourself so you can (hopefully) get elected again. And still no privacy is given for anyone...between Secret Service and people just wanting to get a glimpse of the president, wanting the Pres' time for just a minute, etc.

Then the process starts again to keep the same job you had just four years before, and so does your spouse and family.

Then after that, you don't have to worry about being re-elected, but you do have to plan for what you're going to do when you're done with the presidency. Are you going to lecture? Sit on your butt and go fishing? What?

I wouldn't want to be president for all the tea in China. Too much work. I guess I'll just have to contend with my little secretarial job here in DC.

Flood of thoughts (literally)

2008-06-18T07:58:00.000-04:00

Thoughts on the flood of '08 back in the Midwest:

1) People should really cut the cops and National Guard a break. Floodwaters are dangerous to navigate, and with gas lines and power lines being problematic, they're doing folks a favor by not letting people in various places. They'd rather be doing something else as well, but this is their job and they need to be respected for that.

2) Again, I'm torn between relief that my friends and family (for the most part) are OK and worrying about the people that aren't OK. Where do you draw the line?

3) The pictures of the floodwaters and the damage they've created are nothing short of chilling. I think the scariest ones are of the abandoned cars that are flooded past their doors. It's also weird (and it was weird in '93 as well) when I saw businesses I frequented up to their eyeballs in flood waters. It was sad, yet they managed to rebuild from the damage. Let's hope they can do it again.

4) If you're so inclined, donate to Red Cross or other organizations that help victims of floods like this or other disasters. I know from when my parents lost their home to a tornado that Red Cross moves in quick and takes care of business with compassion and selflessness on the part of their volunteers. I'm forever thankful for them and what they did for my family.

5) One of my friends back home was really angry that coverage of the floods was interrupted for tributes to Tim Russert. I can't say I blame her, seeing as she was less than a mile away from the fairgrounds in Johnson County, Iowa, where flood victims were being housed temporarily. Priorities are apparently different between NBC upper management and a state where 83 out of 99 counties were declared disaster areas. They shouldn't be but unfortnately, they are.

OK...that's what I've got for today, but it's a start.

Panic attacks suck...

2008-06-17T08:31:00.002-04:00

I've been fighting off panic attacks the past few days and it seems like they've finally gone away. Doubling the dose of Paxil has helped that...

So that's why I haven't really had much luck finding topics to write about. It's a bit difficult when your brain is sending panic messages to the rest of your body.

Anyway...my home state is a disaster area in 83 out of 99 counties. Scary stuff, folks. My family is safe for the most part, but many have had to evacuate their homes. I can't imagine what that must be like, nor would I want to. One friend of mine has a husband who's a police officer, and his nerves must be made of steel with all that's happening.

Let's see...what else? There were three water main breaks in Montgomery County yesterday so we were on alert for that. I accidentally drank water from the tap last night, so if you don't hear from me, well...let's just say I might be un-well.

That's all I've got right now, but don't worry - more will be cookin'.

sorry I didn't do a dad's day post...

2008-06-16T12:55:00.003-04:00

Father's Day is kind of hard for me as it is, and I'm sorry I didn't do a dad's day post.

But I'll be coming back strong in the next day or two with something fun. I know it when I see it, I swear.

Toodles!

What cojones this man has!

2008-06-13T08:35:00.002-04:00

First of all, I want to thank those who gave me good advice regarding how to deal with the new singer coming into the big band I sing with. I met her last night, and she was so good at what she does PLUS she was gracious and really pleasant to be with. That combination is key for our band, especially when we do so many gigs at nursing homes and such, and those REQUIRE you to have good people skills and patience. So my fears were allayed, and thanks for that.

Now...I ran across this article about a 107-year old man who actually interviewed for a job with Thomas Edison and refused to polish Humphrey Bogart's shoes.

Can you imagine?

I want to know from you, my friends...have you ever met someone famous, or knew a famous person when they weren't so famous? Read the article (it's linked through the title of this post), and then tell me your story.

changes in the blogosphere...

2008-06-12T14:05:00.002-04:00

While going through my blogroll, I noticed that some folks are giving up on blogging. I've removed a few dead links from my list.

It's an amazing thing, how one can get caught up in the idea of sharing oneself with the world like this. It's scary, especially when you make mistakes and the whole world is watching.

Don't worry...I'm still here and not planning on going anywhere for a bit...sorry if that makes anyone else mad, but I'm not here on earth to please everyone.

I'll even try to come up with more entertaining posts!

It's a MEME, and tag yourselves because I'm too lazy...

2008-06-11T15:24:00.000-04:00

1. What was I doing 10 years ago?
Ten years ago, I was living in Iowa City and working for a jazz radio station in Cedar Rapids, IA.

2. What are 5 things on my list to do today?
-finish this meme
-try not to fall asleep at my desk
(can't think of any others)

3. Snacks I enjoy:
-Chubby Hubby ice cream
-Nutter Butters
-Sterzing's potato chips
-Reese's (no nuts)

4. Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
- Pay off all of my debt
- Set up trust funds for my nieces and nephew
- Give my sister a lot of it
- Spend winters in Hawaii.

5. Three of my bad habits:
- sleeping too much
- nailbiting
- packrat behavior

6. Five places I have lived:
Washington Iowa (childhood and adulthood)
Iowa City Iowa (college and adult)
Montgomery Village, MD
Gaithersburg, MD

7. Five jobs I've had:
-data entry clerk
-soda jerk (high school)
-waitress (college)
-customer service representative
-administrative assistant

8. How did you name your blog?
I don't know...it just kind of popped in my head and I kept it.

Because I don't have any post ideas this morning...

2008-06-11T09:05:00.000-04:00

OK - feelin' insecure here - AAAAAAGGGGHHHH!

2008-06-10T08:29:00.002-04:00

I've been fighting this cold for a while now, and one of the unwanted side effects is that I had to cancel out of a gig on Friday.

By sheer chance, someone at the gig stepped up and sang one of my songs, and did a good job. So good, in fact, that the business manager invited her to rehearsal this week to sing a couple numbers.

I know that I should have a sub in the event I get sick. Logically, I know this...it will help the band run smoother, plus it would make life easier for me to know that the vocals are under control and all that if I have to be away.

But I'm being insecure here, and I'm quite embarrassed about this. What if the audiences like this woman better than me? What if the band likes her better than me? I'm not sure what to think, and I know it sounds childish too. I don't want to be jealous or anything like that, especially when I don't know how she sounds yet.

What should I do?

Mucho Humid-o

2008-06-09T12:19:00.000-04:00

We're havin' a heatwave...a Capitol heat wave...

Yep, it's hotter than billy blue blazes (that's a Dawsonian phrase, BTW). It's supposed to wane by Wednesday, but we'll see. Right now the air is code red, and buses are running for free (one nice touch when DC gets hot).

Yesterday was a roaster too, and I had a gig at a local church festival. It was kind of scary because of this damned cold I have; I was so scared I wouldn't be able to hit my notes. I did pretty well for the most part but had to cut one song from my list because I knew it would fry my throat out and take seconds.

But I wish these guys would go on voice rest. Seriously - do they need to make a comeback? I don't think so, but what do I know?

Intriguing...

2008-06-06T10:06:00.003-04:00

If you click on the title, you'll be magically whisked away to Groovygrrl's site, where she talks about depression/midlife crises.

I'm fighting a mild depression thing right now...I'm not unaware of the fact that I'm not where I thought I would be when I was on the cusp of adulthood. I thought I'd be living the life of a musician...with other musicians...where there are trees and flowers and chirping birds and life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their nice white coats.

(Whoops...)

But I have to look at the whole picture. I'm the first woman on either side of my family to have a bachelor's degree, and even though I'm not using it directly, nobody can take that away from me. It's MINE. Nyah nyah nyah.

I've been married twice. Both ended sadly (one with a whimper and one with a bang), but at least the friendship of my 2nd husband was salvaged. Not everyone can say that, and moreover, I caught myself before I made a 3rd possible mistake. I'm still with that person too, in spite of everything.

My dad is gone...but I had him in my life for quite a long time, and that's better than a lot of people have it. I wish more people had a dad and mom like mine, even though they could drive me crazy.

I'm older...but that's how it is. They make hair dye, wrinkle cream and all that stuff so you can go gentle into that good night or whatever. I'm not physically fit, but I'm the only one that can change that.

I'm not a professional musician...but I'm still making music and occasionally getting paid for it. I know many of my high school musical contemporaries aren't even playing anymore, and it breaks my heart. I still have that joy in my life, and barring any major disaster, I'll continue to have it.

I don't have children...of my own. I have two nieces and a nephew that I love dearly, and I made the decision to NOT have kids based on what I feel is a valid argument. I know I'm bipolar, and I chose to not have kids because I don't want to spread the "bipolar love" genetically or otherwise. It hurts when I see parents snuggling their kids, but I know myself better than anyone else does.

I don't have a glamorous job...but neither do a lot of other people. The fact that I'm here in DC is a big step for me, as I never thought I'd go over the state line after a while. I've been here for almost seven years.

The fact that I can look at the other side of the coin is good, but why do I always have to consciously do that? Why can't I just LIVE, dammit? This is very frustrating and tiring, but I guess that's what it's all about, right?

I hope that's the case. Groovygrrl's got it goin' on, though, and you should go read her blog. It's very insightful, and very well written.

tote that barge, lift that bail...back to work I go

2008-06-05T08:49:00.002-04:00

Yep...I'm back, after a day of hacking, blowing my nose and taking many naps.

I feel a lot better!

My voice still sounds like crap, but it doesn't hurt to talk so I'm talking. I do have my handy cup of ice chips and my box of Plantation Mint tea so I have reinforcements.

It never fails how much I depend on my throat, even when I'm not singing. I have to answer the phone ("first on phones" is what we say in the biz...) and yesterday was NOT a good day for me to answer phones. I get all paranoid when my throat HURTS...so I practically want to wrap myself in a body cast so nothing else can get me. I think it's a singer thing, but I don't know.

I love my job for the most part, but I really wish sometimes that I didn't have to answer phones all the time...that way I could go to work with a sore throat and life would somehow be easier. But here I sit, all quasi-perky and ready to go. It's weird...when I answer the phone I sound like a Stepford wife (albeit a husky-voiced one today), and when I talk to others my voice is a lot more versatile; more "me", I guess.

Anyway, enough about my damned throat.

So YEAH...Hillary's out of da race, and she's backing Obama. However, she's angling for the VP spot, and I don't think Obama wants her. Let's face it...I don't think their personalities would mesh, and she'd be forever angling that she's the brains of the operation. If she could keep her aggressiveness in check, she'd probably be a good choice, but if she can't the effects could be deadly for the campaign.

Beyond that, I got nothin'. But hey...if you're new here, check out my archives...with over 1000 entries, there's gotta be something in here you like. Right?

Right?

Oh well...smooches to all y'all!

tumbleweed tuesday

2008-06-03T15:59:00.003-04:00

Well...hmm...not much here but I am fighting a sore throat today. That pretty much bites when 99% of your job is answering phones all day.

However, the political news re: Obama might ensure a recovery on my part.

We'll see...

Marshland Monday

2008-06-02T10:09:00.002-04:00

Well, this weekend was a good weekend overall. We're trying to get a room-mate for the condo once again, but we did find time to make it out to a Southern-style "pig picking" in Northern VA.

It was FABULOUS...the food and drink was good, and the music was fabulous as well. The combo played Dixieland and classic-type jazz...there was a keyboard/sax player, a cornet player, a trombonist, a banjo/guitar player and a tuba player (for the bass), and a drummer/washboard/various tin cans, bells and whistles player.

Yours truly even got to sing a number with the band, and it was a lot of fun. They were so good and polished, and it was easy to fall in line with them.

Any band who includes the song "I've Got a Bimbo On The Bamboo Isle" in their repertoire can't be all that bad...

So anyway...on to other topics...

They're never more than 15 feet apart and they're celibate?

What?

Ugh.

Here's the basics:

What if rain or shine, no matter what, you and your partner, well, never parted? That is the case with Michael Roach, 55, and two decades younger Christie McNally, two Buddhist teachers who are literally attached at the spiritual hip, so to speak, and took vows to never be more than 15 feet away from each other. Oh and P.S.: They're celibate, too.

This is too much for me. Seriously...no more than 15 feet and no further incentive plan than some kind of transcendental celibate love thing going on? Yuk. That sounds less like love and more like mind control.

Here's as far as it goes...

Half of the year, it's fairly simple, since they both live in a tiny, 22-foot yurt (or tent) in the middle of the Arizona desert, where they read books at the same time and follow each other like shadows. (They first moved there to do a silent retreat, so from 2000-2003, they lived in complete, silence and meditation.)Things do get a bit more complicated when they travel. For example, if they can't get seats next to each other on a plane, they simply refuse to board. If one gets up to go to the bathroom, the other must follow and stand outside the door.

Why be like that? Wasn't it Khalil Gibran who made mention of the whole "spaces in our togetherness" thing? Come on. As much as I've loved my various and sundry boyfriends/spouses, I've needed time away. They have too. And not getting on a plane just because they can't get seats together? Don't even get me started on the potty rule...

To me, that's less about love than about mind control. The dude is 20 years older than his partner and not even really supposed to have a wife (since he trained under the Dalai Lama to be a monk, and they take a vow of celibacy). I can't imagine anyone telling me I couldn't be more than 15 feet away from them under any circumstances, or being willing to go along with that.

Read the article in full...it's very odd, and scary. What do you think of this concept? And NO, even if it involved George Clooney would I affiliate myself with this ideal...no thank you.

Let me know in the comments, folks...

This is the dawning of the age of apologies...age of apologies...

2008-05-30T09:08:00.002-04:00

OK - I'm curious.

Obama has had to distance himself from TWO (count 'em) men of the cloth, while Hillary did the unthinkable...uttering the words "RFK" and "assassination" in the same breath so soon after Ted Kennedy's brain tumor was announced.

So I ask you...which apology was better/more sincere? This one?

Or this one?

Furthermore, lend me your opinion on Obama's unfortunate luck with preachers.

I want to know...and I'm glad I'm so not famous that I can hang out with who I want. Hehehehe!

George has finally seen the light!

2008-05-29T12:30:00.003-04:00

Yes...it's true...George Clooney has finally seen the error of his ways and has dumped little what's her name.

And really, while I don't get how this makes headlines, I applaud his decision because now he's free for ME!

George...get the baby oil. I'm ready.

Rowr.

today's caption - 5/29/08

2008-05-29T09:12:00.002-04:00

Didn't your mamma teach you it's not polite to point?