(un)complicate me

ketchup

2008-07-24T15:23:00.002-05:00

Sorry I'm so slow and random with posts lately. Part of it is sheer fatigue and not feeling too motivated to blog, part of it is I'm hella busy, and the combination of those means this blog is the first thing to get neglected. I guess thought bubbles are appropriate at this point in the game...

I (and a few other girls) are hosting my BFF's shower and bachelorette party this Saturday. At my house. My house isn't what you'd call CLEAN at this moment, so that's on the to do list for tonight. As well as shopping for said parties. Pregnancy hormones make me even more anal retentive than normal, if that's possible. This is actually a good thing, because....
...it's kept my mind off the fact that our first appointment is in 4 (4!!) days. Officially Monday, the 28th, at 3:30 pm central time, if I don't make it back here before then
Pregnancy fitness class was on Monday. I am the least-far along in terms of gestation, though there's a girl at 11 weeks, just ahead of me. I look far bulgier in the mid-section than a few of the 20+ week girls. Part of this is just me, but holy crap they're not showing AT ALL. It was fine, kind of fun. I wish I had time to get there more than once a week.
My husband rocks because he agreed we needed to get a bigger bed, and so we did on Tuesday night! Our queen is one I bought 4 years ago, and I do love it, it's comfy. But not big enough for us, plus it's wiggly, so every move he makes I wake up. So now our fantastic bed will be ready next Friday. I can't wait!
Health insurance follow up... I called BC/BS yesterday morning and got an idiot woman on the phone (ok, to be fair I couldn't understand her because it sounded like she had a sock over the mouthpiece, AND she was rude) who told me that they must have sent the diabetes workbook to everyone. Right. I'm sure a company would spend thousands of dollars to perfectly healthy, non-diabetic people. So she was going to "check on it" and call me back. She hasn't called me back. So I'll be calling on my way home from work and crossing my fingers I get someone else.
Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers for Cletus (who is officially not an embie anymore, he's a fetus now!!). I really am feeling fine. Tired, and still a bit queasy here and there, but I'm very blessed and very lucky to not be sicker.

That's all for now. I'll try to check in with more info soon.

nervous?

2008-07-22T20:33:00.002-05:00

I'll get to the story about my pregnancy fitness class and why my husband rocks tomorrow... but tonight I have a question...

Today in the mail I got a big laminated book from my health insurance provider called "Your Diabetes Workbook for Better Health". Hmmm, so nice of them to think about me in my time of need, but I DON'T HAVE DIABETES. I'm assuming that they're assuming I have diabetes due to my metformin prescription refills. Which I think is really shady.

I'm semi-nervous because this seems like the type of thing to get tied to your health record and never fall off. Like when I switch jobs/insurers my continuing coverage statement is going to say that I have diabetes.

I'm hope hope hoping when I call them tomorrow morning at 7:30 am sharp (their customer service is closed already) that I can straighten this whole thing out. I know diabetes isn't the end of the world, it's not like they said "Your Cancer Workbook for Better Heath", but I want my heath records to be accurate.

Has anyone else had this happen? Have you been "diagnosed" by your insurance provider for filling a prescription even though your doctor never diagnosed you with said disease? Help!

[I am still on the met, btw, until my doctor tells me otherwise. I know taking met during the first trimester decreases the chance of m/c in women with PCOS by 3-fold, so I'm sticking with it for now.]

things to make you smile

2008-07-21T09:27:00.002-05:00

Jill's lovely hubby just called, and Miss Josephine Naomi (unless they changed her middle name, this was it the last time I checked) aka Josie is here! Jill had a scheduled c-section at 7:30 this morning. She was 9 lbs 2 oz and 20 in long, no wonder Jill had been so uncomfortable. They are both doing well. Yay!!
I have my first of six "Pregnancy Fitness" class tonight at my gym. It's actually put on by a hospital (though not the one I'll deliver at), but it's free to me since it's at my gym. I'm actually kind of stoked. My reason for being excited? I doubt I'll break a sweat: pregnant women can't move that fast, they won't let us over-exert ourselves. And it's only an hour. I'll let you know how this goes.
My appointment is a week from today!! Holy bananas, I never thought it would be this close. That means 9w/8w today (again depending on whose due date calculator you use)! So far so good.
I did a little shopping here on Friday night because I needed a bel.la band (and I ended up getting the MM version, a tum.my sleeve, which is only $17 and works great so far). I bought a maternity dress for $15 because it was cute and cheap. But it's scary. So it's in the back of my closet for now. I also bought a swimsuit at JC Pen.ney; cute as well and hopefully it will work for a few months to come. When I need to buy bigger clothes, my goal is to buy as much stuff as I can that I can wear when I'm not pregnant. So far, so good.
The perfect website for your annoying co-worker who smacks their gum or sucks stuff from their teeth: http://www.nicecritic.com/. It makes me giggle.
Lastly, a funny story for you. Apparently my husband has this aura around him that make people think he works at the businesses he likes to frequent, when really he is just a customer. Normally this happens at retail stores when people come up to him asking where to find things, etc. Well he was on the road this weekend for work (he's back now, yay!). He was leaving the hotel's business center after checking in for his flight home. This guy is walking towards him (crazy guy) and this is the conversation that ensued:
Crazy Guy: "I just checked into room 317 and my keys don't work."
j: "Ok, what do you want me to do about it?"
CG: "Why don't you get me some f*c*ing keys that work."
j: "Why don't you f*c*ing talk to someone who works here?"
CG: "Oh"

j was all up in arms over it, when he was reenacting the story to me. I just laughed. I bet that guy felt like an idiot!

Have a great week!

few things

2008-07-16T10:27:00.002-05:00

Thanks for your Mexican recipes, I'm totally stoked to get started trying them!! Tacos might be on the agenda tonight.
I put 2 tickers on here, one up there ^^ then the floating alien-looking guy over there >>. I realize they have 2 different "days to go", and this corresponds to what I think my due date is, and what the nurse's due date wheelometer said when I made my first appointment. Hopefully we'll settle on a date at my appointment in 12 days!! 12 days!! And I'll be sure to update my tickers because I'm anal retentive.
I feel really lost and uninspired lately. In the sense that I don't know what to write about. I'm feeling very blessed and my cup runneth over. But blabbing on about my good fortune isn't that exciting to read. So bear with me.
On that same note, I'm still reading and following all your blogs, and cheering for you from the sidelines. (All 134 of you on my Google Reader). But I admit to becoming a horrible commenter. Most of the time, I feel completely inadequate in anything I would try to share. I don't want my commenting to come off as me knowing it all because I've achieved the holy grail of IF blogs, so I'm just lurking for now. But you're in my thoughts and prayers constantly.
My woobies are sore, and I'm bloated, and exhausted but other than that I can't complain. I haven't got the m/s bug like so many of my unfortunate friends... Knock on wood. That's not to say I'm not eating massive amounts of anything full of protein or carbs to keep the queasies at bay.

Have a great humpday!

wanted: your mexican recipes

2008-07-15T12:16:00.004-05:00

I'm officially craving Mexican food. In a bad way. I make some mean enchiladas, and other than (boring) tacos, that's about as far as we go. So I'm begging for your Mexican recipes. Here's my goal, I'm sharing my grandma's Chicken and Wild Rice Bake (we don't call anything a casserole at my house; j's request) so take it, and use it, it's fabulous. But send me some Mexican goodness in return. And bonus points if there's copious amounts of cheese in the recipe you choose to send.

Alison's Grandma's Chicken and Wild Rice Bake

Ingredients:

Some raw chicken - I use this term loosely, because it's really up to you how much you use. I normally do about 6 pieces so we have leftovers; bone-in/boneless doesn't matter
2 - 6 oz boxes Long Grain & Wild Rice (does it bother anyone else they sell this on amazon.com??)
1 or 2 cans small cans mushrooms, drained (or leave them out if you want)
2 cans "cream of" soup - I usually use cream of mushroom and cream of celery, but you can use cream of chicken too, whatever your family likes
2 1/2 soup cans of milk

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees; spray a 9x13 pan with non-stick cooking spray
Put the raw chicken in one layer in the bottom of the pan
Mix the rice, the rice seasoning, mushrooms, soup, and milk in a bowl. It will look soupy, this is normal, the rice has to soak something up.
Bake, covered for 45 minutes.
Uncover and stir the rice around the chicken. This is important because the rice on top of the chicken tends to not cook as well and it needs to get to the moisture.
Bake the dish another 30 minutes, uncovered.
It will be done when it is bubbly, the chicken is cooked thoroughly and the juices run clear.

2 caveats:

The rice takes a long, long time to cook. It may come out a little on the al dente side, but will be perfect for next-day leftovers
This makes a pretty large pan because we like leftovers, if you want to do an 8x8 pan, just cut everything in half.

It's really easy, and amazing, I promise. Grandma didn't make anything bad! :) Get to thinking, I need Mexican recipes!

they say it's my birthday

2008-07-12T09:45:00.006-05:00

Thanks for all the birthday wishes. Today is going to involve a lot of low-key celebrating for me.

These are the roses I got from j yesterday. They rock. I wish you could smell them.

Have a great weekend!

my wordle

2008-07-11T21:53:00.003-05:00

Calli sent me to Wordle. This is my wordle (click the pic, it'll make it bigger):

What does your wordle look like?

last day of being 25

2008-07-11T10:36:00.003-05:00

Reminder: if you want to participate in Jill's baby shower, don't forget to email me by the end of the day. The premise is simple - it's all the good parts of the shower (gifts! cake! (but only if you make your own cake and eat it while emailing me) minus the less-than-fun parts of the shower (awkward games involving toilet paper). Basically, it's just a simple way to send some baby love to the mom-to-be. I'll be emailing all of the shower attendees over the weekend.

Last night at 6pm, I was faced with a dilemma: vomit or sleep. My tummy chose to practice dry heaving, and I over-rode its decision and opted for bed. At 6:15pm. I did wake up to attempt supper at 8:30, but was back in bed by 9.
Smeller is still going nuts, I really think I could be a drug-sniffing human.
j and his mom aren't on speaking terms at the moment. After the events of Monday, my MIL decided on Wednesday to send j an email and tell him (in no short terms) how a) offended she was that he told her that she needed to stop telling people until after our first appt; she was so insulted, apparently, she just wanted to leave the restaurant and not finish dinner b) how horrible of a brother he is to his two brothers (one of which lives in Colo.rado and we see once a year, and will never return j's phone calls, the other of which just moved back in with his parents (he'll be 21 in Sep.) and j has been trying to motivate him to go to college because he's applying for these big-shot jobs he really has no chance of getting, without a degree) and c) how awful of a son he is, blah blah blah, how he is more compassionate toward my family than his own (wtf?) and how he would never get mad at my family (why would he get mad at anyone? he's 27, aren't we past the "getting mad" stage we had in preschool??)

j responded by telling her how she's a good mom and blah blah blah and how thankful we are for everything they do (which is true, they help us out a lot). Then he unloaded on every point she was trying to make. And at the end of the day, all her email did was make everything about HER. This isn't about her anymore. I think my inlaws like me. I mean I think I could tell if they didn't. But I totally think that they're a little bitter about me "ruining j". I'm quite confident they don't think j was EVER like he is now before I came along. My MIL had 3 boys; she was (and still tries to be) the main gal in their life. Times are a-changin', and she needs to let it go. She still calls j her "baby" even though he's the oldest of the 3 boys. Oh, and he's 27. And MARRIED.

So I'm not sure where we stand. They're not going to stop talking to each other forever, but she needs to back off a bit. *sigh* I'm sure they'll want to take us out to dinner this weekend, and it will be like nothing ever happened. Whatev.
Hey, hey, it's my birthday in 13 hours!! This is my last full day of being 25, the last full day of my 26th year, and at 11:38 am (mountain time) tomorrow, I'll be 26!

I don't think we're doing much for the big day. We're going to try to brave going to dinner - we have to celebrate my birthday obviously, but also because j is thisclose to being done with school!! His one class will be finished tomorrow, and the other needs to meet one or two more times. And then he will officially have his Bachelor of Arts degree in Business Administration with an Emphasis in Management. Woohoo!!

Back to my birthday...we have a wedding, going away party, and a housewarming party, all scheduled for tomorrow. I think we'll skip the wedding, and try to hit the other two. I might be a party pooper though, we'll see.
I renewed my driver's license yesterday. It's seriously a horrible picture. I'm more disappointed because the license I gave up had a fabulous picture. Good thing I only have to show it when I'm being carded at the bar. Which won't be happening any time soon.

This is getting long. Happy Friday, and have a fantastic weekend!!

you're invited!

2008-07-09T06:30:00.001-05:00

A Virtual Baby Shower!

who: anyone who wants to, but specifically those who follow Jill (and also when she had Will There Be A Baby Deux?)

what: a virtual baby shower for Jill and Josie (planning to arrive July 21, 2008)!

when: now - Friday, July 11th

where: here, there, everywhere!

what you need to do, if you want to participate: email me at uncomplicateme@gmaildotcom for more details, and to meet the other shower attendees

realizations

2008-07-07T18:29:00.002-05:00

I've learned a few things in the last few days:

Summer has arrived in Neb.raska; thus, my motivation to keep up with walking/working out has dwindled. I need my a/c at least 95% of the day.
The 350 mile trip to my mom's house takes WAY WAY longer (mentally, at least) when you're driving 70 mph in an attempt to save gas, versus the normal 80. And when you have to pee every hour, on the hour.
Sometimes you just need your family (in addition to j, who I always have).
My sister is super cute, pregnant. I feel super fat, pregnant. Her 22 week belly is pretty comparable to my 7 week belly. (Don't tell me how I'm not really fat, I know this, but facts are facts).
Fireworks are expensive, and sometimes overrated.
I'm a much better golfer when I'm drinking beer. Also, golfing in 95 degree heat, sucks. (I drank 2 1/2 LITERS of water in 3 hours on the course).
People had babies before this book was written; my mom reminded me of this several times.
My due date was June 30th, I was born July 12th. My sister was due August 15th, and was born August 25th. I realize past performance isn't an indicator of future performance, but Cletus might be baking for longer than 40 weeks...
Our potential baby names are safe, according to my family. Now they're going back on the shelf for safe-keeping until February.
We should have waited to tell j's mom. She's told everyone. Which is fine, I mean I guess we didn't specifically tell her that she couldn't, but we did say over and over again how EARLY it was, and that we should keep things on simmer for a while. And isn't it sort of implied? I mean it's OUR NEWS. At the funeral today, people were coming up to us who we didn't even know to tell us congratulations. Fine. But when they ask how far along you are, and you say "7 weeks" (which is probably more like 6 weeks, but I need all the padding I can get) and they look at you like "why on EARTH did you tell people ALREADY?" I really want to agree with asker. Our intention was to tell our IMMEDIATE family, with the intention that should something disastrous happen, we would want their support anyway. She took liberty to tell everyone she comes in contact with. I mean for the love of Christmas, our FRIENDS don't even know yet (other than the VIPs). Ugh. I love my husband though, he agrees with me. For that I am grateful.
I'm still cramping, off and on. Usually they come in the middle of the night, and last about 20 minutes. Nothing too intense and no spotting (knock on wood).
Woobies = sore.
Queasiness = increasing. Heartburn? = increasing. The weird feelings started in over the weekend while at my parents house. It was really touch and go sometimes, and I DEFINITELY can tell when I need to eat. I don't know what heartburn feels like because as far as I can tell, I've never had it (I know, I'm lucky, I never get headaches either). (Big, massive, knock on wood). But things feel gurgly in my throat-ish.

We were supposed to go to dinner with j's family tonight, but due to the events of the day (see above), I'm inlawed OUT. Plus I'm not sure if I could make it through dinner without tossing my cookies. And that would be a horrible way to ruin good Mexican food. But j's bringing me some home. Did I mention he's awesome?
I love July, I really really love it. 5 days till the BIG DAY. (my birthday) I said that to j earlier and he looked at me like he was going to miss our anniversary or another equally important BIG DAY, not just my birthday.

Have a great week!!

windows...with pictures

2008-07-02T21:10:00.002-05:00

You're all so sweet to celebrate my birth month with me. Thanks for all the "happy birth month" wishes, they made me giggle and snicker (since j doesn't love my month-long celebration :o).

::

Random question: could someone please tell me how long a fortnight is? I love ye olde English vernacular, but I'm stuck on this one. I remember Abe Lincoln once said "Four score and seven years ago..." but I doubt four score is the same as a fortnight. (And if my memory serves me, a score is 20.) Anyone?

::

Some people asked for before and after shots of the much anticipated new windows in our house. Jill reminded me that the "before" pics would be crucial for this comparison, only after they already had half the windows in. So the before shots aren't that exciting. Well and neither are the after shots because I remembered those after I had all the blinds and curtains back up.

Before:
Basically the old windows sucked. They were original to the house, single pane, and most were painted shut.

Living Room Before:

Bedroom Before:

After:
Now the windows rock! They are safer, more energy efficient, quieter, and they OPEN!

(Sorry I didn't get the same after windows as the before, but they're all double hung (except for the kitchen awning window) so you get the picture...)

Dining Room After:
We're going to paint all the trim white now - everything is already white except the trim in the dining room. If you look closely to the right of the tree, there's baby grass growing!

West Kitchen After:

And the pièce de résistance: the awning window in the kitchen, overlooking the backyard (which will be more spectacular once we take the orange snow fence down (which is keeping the dogs off the baby grass)). I'm in luv with this window:

So that leaves us with the outside, which is actually more shocking of a change than we were expecting...

Before:

After:

The white around the windows is called "wrapping" and we got white thinking it would be narrower, not the entire space from the brick to the glass. I kind of feel like we have these two huge white bullseyes on the front of the house now. It's fine, and it looks really crisp and clean... but now the rest of the trim needs serious help. The porch railing is creamy peachy white and now just looks dingy, the garage door, gutters, and trim is spaghetti squash yellow (yes that's technical), and the shutters are actually a cool steely blue. So we need to wrap it all up together somehow. Ahhh, another project, right?

july

2008-07-02T08:39:00.003-05:00

Welcome to July! It's my birthday month, and I tend to celebrate all month long. I'm not even sure what the plans are for my actual birthday (the 12th) but I'm sure we'll have enough to keep us occupied and celebrate the entire month.

We're heading to my mom and stepdad's for the 4th. Doing a little golfing on Friday, and then just hanging out and relaxing the rest of the weekend. We found out last night that Joey's maternal grandpa passed away yesterday, and the funeral is Monday. So we'll stop for that on the way home. Joey wasn't ever close with his grandpa, but it's still sad of course.

I swear I've turned into a baby furnace. If it's above 70, outdoors or inside, I'm quite literally roasting. Normally I don't turn the a/c on in my car if it's below 80 out, but lately I have it on max and cranked all the way up. Roasting, people. Thank God the majority of this pregnancy will be had when it's -10 - 50 degrees out.

Along with that, I'm tired. By 9pm I pretty much hit a wall, and lately I've still been running around the house getting things together and can't go to sleep right then. So I'm dragging in the mornings. And the afternoons. And the evenings. This growing a baby business is hard work.

Speaking of growing a baby, we're at 6w2d today, going by the Feb 24th due date. So it's likely only 5w2d going by ovulation. But whatever.

I'm really feeling ok so far. A little queasiness here and there, but I wouldn't call it nausea by any means. Just more of a feeling that I need to be eating. Speaking of eating, I'm CRAVING anything fresh, like fruit and sandwiches. Don't worry, I got the lunch meat from the deli. All $20 worth of it - hey it sounded good at the time. :)

26 more days until the first appointment. I can make it.

Happy Humpday!

a good weekend

2008-06-30T09:16:00.002-05:00

Highlights from my weekend:

Finally got my hair highlighted and cut, looks much better after we dyed the winter away
Discovered that there are hardwood floors under the carpet in our living room. (The same wood floors are in the dining room, hallway, and both bedrooms.) To pull the carpet up, or not to pull the carpet up, that is the question.
Found out my sister is having a BOY! Which means we get a nephew to spoil. And even better, she dropped Gar.ri.ck as her top name choice (thank you God - no offense to those who love that name) and is now set on Ash.er, which I love.
Pulled myself up by my bootstraps and decided that I'm pregnant. Holy crap, I'm pregnant. And nothing is going to stop me now. (Except for this insane exhaustion and really full/bloated tummy, bleh. Oh and the boob fairy has visited, I didn't really require her visit, I had enough before thanks.).
We told j's parents last night after dinner that they're going to be grandparents (see how we are with secrets??). They're obviously more than excited. His mom already has SHOES for the baby. I think she's had them for a while now. This is just an inkling of how things are going to be with my MIL for the next 9 months.
We told my mom and stepdad (super, super excited! a little leary of having 2 grandkids 3 months apart though, I could tell), aunt and uncle (very excited to buy all sorts of breakable/noisy/glittery things), grandpa and his wife (who said "wow, those things kind of come fast, when you have one, they just start coming - oh grandpa, if you only knew), my sister (who thought I was asking her if she was having 2 babies, NO, M, I'M having 1 baby, you're having 1 baby, that's 2 babies), and finally my dad ("cool"). j says things feel more real now. I just feel more fat and tired.
Oh! And the baby grass seeds have turned into real live grass now. Woohoo!
Our windows are coming tomorrow, can't freaking wait.

Have a great week, I'll try to keep you updated with things. I fear that a majority of my week is going to be spent sleeping however.

feeling lost

2008-06-27T12:16:00.002-05:00

I'm afraid this post might turn into a brainpuke, but it needs out.

I'm feeling very out of sorts, lost I guess you could say.

I'm SO freaking grateful for the gift that's (apparently) growing in my belly.

But I'm SO freaking nervous that it's all for naught.

While others are getting betas and first ultra sounds, we sit.

And we wait.

For July 28th, 31 days away, where we'll know our fate.

I'm really better at patience than I used to be. This IF journey (and God) has taught me that.

And I know that with good beta numbers and a sac on a ultra sound screen, I'd have reassuance.

But only for an hour.

Then I'd go back to worrying.

Worrying about my sore breasts (are they sorer today than yesterday? Are they bigger today? Yesterday they looked bigger. Are they darker? Are they full of helium, they seem higher.)

Worrying about my tiredness (am I really more tired than I was 2 weeks ago? I'm going to bed at 9:30, but is it because I'm tired or is it psycho-sematic? Am I yawning at work because I'm pregnant and tired, or because it's Friday and I'm tired?)

Worrying about the cramping that I haven't had since Wednesday (It's gone, is this normal? Shouldn't it have been worse?)

Worrying about my bloating (Am I bloating because I'm pregnant or because I ate too much lunch? Or because I'm retaining water? Or because an embie is trying to grow?)

I'm so grateful.

Yet so scared.

I need to get over this. I have no control over it. It's in His hands now. He knows the outcome.

So I'm going to get over myself. I'm going to have faith that next spring I will have a baby, that we'll be parents. I'm going to choose to listen and believe. And if you have a spare prayer, I'd be so appreciative of it.

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in
On to the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again, "Boy, You'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe
The Voice of Truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again, "Boy, You'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe
The Voice of Truth

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me(calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe(I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe
The Voice of Truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe
The Voice of Truth

I will listen and believe
Cause Jesus you are the Voice of Truth
And I will listen to you
you are

~"Voice of Truth" by Casting Crowns

workout...update

2008-06-25T20:58:00.002-05:00

So I heeded your advice and decided a walk tonight would suffice. So at 8:30 pm, j, Zoe, and I headed out on a 15 minute stroll around the neighborhood (hereto called "the neighb" because that's what I'd call it if you were in my living room and I was telling this story. So we venture out into the neighb and it's warm out still, borderline hot. It's 89 out at 8:30 in fact, but feels like 93. And the humidity is at 76%. Hello summer.

10 steps into said walk, I was missing the A/C and my couch.

According to my Gmaps pedometer, we walked a total of, LOOK OUT, 0.5963 mile.

And I was tired, and thirsty.

But not as bad as Zoe:

Needless to say, he's been laying on the floor like that for the last 20 minutes. Panting like we just climbed Mount Everest in 120 degree heat (which is an interesting juxtaposition, no?) rather than a quick walk around the neighb. [I don't know why his eyes looks so freaky, they always do that with the flash. He's not possessed, really.]

And me? I'm ready for bed. Exhaustion, here I come.

funny and frustrated

2008-06-25T13:02:00.002-05:00

First, did anyone watch Wipeout last night on ABC? We had it set to DVR and it was a gem that is not to be missed. In college, Most Extreme Elimination Challenge was a must-see for us. Wipeout is obviously modeled after MXC. I laughed so hard last night, my abs were sore. I'll warn you, it's not a highly intellectual program, but it's definitely a pick-me-up on a bad day. Check it out. You'll laugh. I promise.

::

Now, the frustrated part. I went to work out last night. We've belonged to a fitness center since last fall, and I've been really inconsistent at going. Until we met with a trainer earlier this month, and now that I have a plan, I've been more motivated to go. Since getting the magical news on Sunday, I've renewed my interest in working out in an attempt to be as healthy as possible the next 8 months. And because I'm in 2 weddings this fall. Oye!

I did lots of research on baby sites, and the only things the Internets said to shy away from were more high-impact sports: bicycling (so I don't fall off :), basketball, skiing, snowboarding, football, etc. as well as "bouncy" activities in the 3rd trimester. So with this knowledge, I figured that 15 minutes on the elliptical, and 15 minutes on the bike thing (not the actual stationary bike, the one that you sit with your feet out in front of you (so I won't fall off) should be fine. I also wanted to continue with my weight/machine training, but didn't think I could or should do all 12 of the exercises I've been doing, so I decided to do arms one day, legs the next.

So with that plan in mind, I set out for the gym. And 12 minutes into the elliptical I had to stop. I was just barely getting crampy, and thought it best to listen to my body and not push it. I thought 12 minutes was ok for a start, and headed to the bike. I was going really, really slow on the bike. Really slow. And I could only do 10 minutes without getting crampy and uncomfortable. So 22 minutes of "cardio" wasn't very exciting to me.

Then I headed off to the machines/weights, I was going to do my arms last night. I only got through 2 machines and had to stop. My body was strained and I'd had enough.

I just felt really, really frustrated. I know, I KNOW I can't do what I was doing even a week ago, but I didn't realize I'd have to take 43 steps backwards! I just want to do something. Our gym has tons of classes, and I know you'll all suggest water aerobics, which I plan to do, but I need to find a big-girl swimsuit first. And I can do yoga, that's fine too. But I really want to do some regular cardio/weight training as well. Those of you who worked out during pregnancy, what did you do? Or even if you're not to the p-word yet, what are some low-impact things you like to do? I need a plan or I will get restless.

The plan tonight is to take Zoe on a walk. He needs to lose a few pounds. :)

I know the frustration is just my lack of being able to control something. I feel SO very blessed to be in this position, to have this stupid thing to whine about. So if you have any advice, I welcome it!

xoxo

thought bubble tuesday

2008-06-24T09:59:00.003-05:00

Holy hannah, friends, Mel is also pregnant! Ahhh! And in case you didn't know it, I'm psychic. Please refer to this link, thought bubble #2. Ok back to deep breaths.
Why is it that when you tell someone you're pregnant, they tell you about a) their sister that miscarried, b)their epistiotomy during delivery, or c) how obnoxious their children are. Or all of the above. I don't care, people! I'm thinking of hibernating for the next 35 weeks.
Neb.raska thunderstorms: 1, baby grass seed: 0. It seems the deluge of rain this morning washed some (most, all?) of the seed to the front yard. Which is fine, but the front yard already HAS grass. Please stay in the backyard where you're needed, little grass seeds.
So far the suggested in-utero nicknames for this little guy (because j says we're only having boys *eyeroll*) are "Scooter" and "Jackie Moon". Oh, and "Cletus" (thanks Jill). Help! I need suggestions.
I'm still feeling pretty ok. I've had cramping off and on this morning. It really feels like AF cramps, but thanks to Dr. Google and advice from pregnant women, this seems to be normal. Unless there's spotting, then I call the dr. Right?
5 weeks today, according to the dr.'s EDD-o-meter, which is probably wrong.

Have a fantastic week!!

feeling loved...and tired...and overwhelmed...and happy

2008-06-23T10:49:00.003-05:00

Wowza!! Thanks for all the love and comments everyone! I feel so very supported right now. Which is good because I'm kind of freaking out. But I'm so, so, SO, SO excited, and happy, and everything wonderful that I should feel. With a healthy dose of feeling scared, overwhelmed, in awe, tired, and impatient.

Right now it's just you all and the VIP's who know. Did I mention I'm horrible with secrets?? It took every fiber of my being not to tell my mom last night when she called. We're heading home for the 4th of July weekend, so we'll tell them then, so we don't have to do it over the phone. It's way earlier than I would like, but they'll figure it out either way.

After visiting each and every due date calculator on the Internet (trust me), I guessed my due date to be about March 1, 2009. Since my cycles had been so weird, it was obviously quite hard to tell what the official date would be. I know I O'd around June 9th, thus the 3/1 due date.

But...

Then I called to make an appointment this morning, and talked to the nicest nurse ever. The beginning of our conversation:

Me: "hi, this is Alison M. and I'm a patient there. I took a couple pregnancy tests over the weekend, and they were positive".

Sweet Nurse: "ohhh! You know what that means?"

Me: "Uhhh, no?"

Sweet Nurse: "That means you're pregnant!"

Me: "Oh yeah, I guess it does, it's kind of hard to say that."

So she went on through the questions, and got to "date of last menstrual period?". Me: "May 19th, BUT my cycles are wonky, blah blah blah, I O'd on June 9th, blah blah blah". Sweet Nurse: "Good, that gives you a due date of February 24th".

Super. Whatever. As long as they don't freak out if the baby is a "week behind", I won't freak out and demand a real due date, you know, down to the hour and minute. Because that's what my brain wants to do.

And the only thought going through my head at that point was "thank God 2009 isn't a leap year, because I don't want to have my baby on February 29th".

The only "bad" news for a hyperactive Type A planner/worrier/perfectionist such as moi, is that they don't do first appointments until around 10 weeks. So my appointment isn't until July 28th. Since I never went to someone as fancy as an RE, I didn't have to have initial u/s earlier. But I tried. I'm ok with this, or at least I'm trying to be. It's only a month away, right? It will go fast.

So that means, according to the doctor's timetable, which I'm almost positive will change, I'm 4 weeks, 6 days. Whatever, I can do week 10 twice, at least I know I'm right. :o)

::

If you're into math, you would have figured out that my mom and dad (and stepdad and stepmom) will go from 0 grandkids to 2 in the matter of ~3 months. Click here for more info on my crazy sister, if you don't know the background.

::

Remember the CO detector freakout on Friday night? Turns out we have a gas leak in our basement (natural gas). The new detector we got has an actual readout of the CO concentration (the old one didn't). It was at 0 most of the time, but it would go up to anywhere between 30 and 45 over the weekend. At first we thought it was the oven (as something was spilled in there, and it smelled AWFUL when we used it). When j opened the oven, 10 seconds later the CO detector was going off. Well we set the oven to self-clean on Saturday night, and but the CO detector was still showing a reading yesterday. We finally narrowed it down to the hot water heater (the only thing running on gas right now) as the numbers jumped after j and I both showered this morning. The gas company came out and now we have a heating and air guy coming to look at it this afternoon. When it rains it pours, right? And seriously, if you don't have a CO detector, get one. Pretty please.

End soapbox.

::

Ok, that's it for now. Returning to freaking out at my desk for the next 5 hours. Wish me luck.

sunday

2008-06-22T15:53:00.005-05:00

A brief synopsis of my day thus far:

Watched my temperature land at 97.27, just a bit up from yesterday. Looking more and more triphasic all the time
Went to church
Ate at Per.kins
Went to Ace Hardware, got some screws to assemble my newly-created vegetable garden bed; they were too short.
Got groceries for supper, pork tenderloin, mmmm.
Planted grass in our backyard, and watered it (who wants to cheer on some baby grass seeds??).
Called my BFF.
Tried to reach another VIP, but just got her voicemail. Hoping she calls me back.
Oh, and this happened:

Then j didn't trust the "manual" peestick, so a few hours later, this happened:

triphasic or trivial?

2008-06-21T09:31:00.004-05:00

So my chart after this morning's temp looks like so:

And because I know someone will ask, yes I take my temperature at the same time every morning, weekend or not: 6:35, plus or minus 5 minutes. I sought Dr. Google's advice last night after Alison pointed out that yesterday's temp made the chart start to look triphasic. Basically I got the gist that triphasic charts can definitely point to pregnancy, and some people even say it's a sign or symptom of pg, but others get triphasic charts each cycle and are not pregnant. Since this is only my second ovulatory cycle (thank you again, metformin, you rock) I'm not sure it matters, but last cycle was not triphasic.

Yesterday afternoon/evening and then off and on this morning I've been having what feels like AF cramping "episodes". They come and go. If I didn't know better, I would have SWORE they meant AF was coming this morning, but nothing so far. And they're not continual, just off and on every few hours.

I'm not getting wrapped up into symptom-searching like I did last month, but the woobs (like woobies!) are a wittle sore.

I'm not testing until that b!tch AF assures me she's not coming. Nosiree, I'm not wasting $5 on the little whore just to have her come 2 hours later. So we might be settling in for another week of sitting on the edge of our (your) seats.

So last night, we're watching the Nashville Star replay (did I mention I'm a reality TV junkie??) and something starts beeping fervently. I thought it was the smoke detector, but no, it was the Carbon Monoxide detector. It was signaling the prescence of Carbon Monoxide (first we just thought the battery was dead). We're immediately in like HOLY CRAP WE MIGHT DIE mode, I mean what do you do? You buy the thing assuming it's never going to go off. And it's the summer, so the only thing running on natural gas is the water heater, and it's pretty new and should be just fine.

So I do what I normally do in crisis situations, I call my dad. Who happens to be at my grandmas, 5 hours away (rather than in Ore.gon, where he lives). He's like well you should probably call the fire department, or the gas company and they'll have to come check it out. Gee thanks dad, that's what the owner's manual said too.

At this point, I remember that when we moved to this house, the CO detector (that's carbon monoxide in it's chemical abbreviation, thank you high school chemistry) was the last thing we brought over here, because every time you unplug it from the wall it lets out this INSANELY loud, constant drone, and we couldn't get it to shut off. You're supposed to be able to hold in this "reset" button but that didn't work. In fact I held in the button so long when moving it over here, that the plastic over the button cracked. At the time I thought crap! we'll have to get a new one, but when we got it over here and plugged it in, it was working fine. (And if you're wondering how we were able to stand the sound on the drive over, I wrapped it in 2 blankets and put it in my trunk for the 11 mile drive. j could hear it beeping at stoplights, in his truck, it was so loud.)

So anyway, I decide that since it was basically broken, I should just run to Target and get a new one. And I do. And we plug it in, no carbon monoxide. Whew. Crisis avoided. Thank God this happened at 8:30 last night and not 2:30 last night. I would have just slept in the lawn chair the rest of the night. I mean what do you do?

Point of the story: don't buy the crappy $30 CO detector, when the $44 one is better. And if you don't have one, get one! It could save your life!

Ok, have a good weekend!

idongetit

2008-06-20T08:19:00.004-05:00

Wow, I'm at work wayyy to early this morning. My job/office/coworkers are pretty flexible, so normally I'm a 8:15-8:30 person. With the occasional 8:45 thrown in on really sleepy days. Not today, I was here at 7:55. So now I have a really early start on the day and I'm already bored. And I don't know why I'm telling you all this, I mean who cares.

But, here's some weirdness. Just when you think my wackadoo (there you go, Nancy! :o) chart couldn't get wackadooier, today we have this:

I mean seriously. WTF? I was all prepared for more temps in the 97.7 range and then they started inching up, and then today was like WHAM, we're on an elevator. And all I want to do is throw a temper tantrum, pound my fists on the ground and kick my feet and scream "I don't GET it!". But I won't.

I feel like crap today, kinda nauseous. But I can't tell if that's from working out last night and then drinking more beer than I should have, and my body is just like "that was dumb" or if there's something more exciting going on.

So whatever. Either AF will come or she won't. We'll wait to find out. Have a great weekend!

thought bubbles

2008-06-18T11:23:00.006-05:00

Photobucket, where did you go?? I think the site got hacked. Or they forgot to pay for their web hosting. Or something. But until they come back, I'm going to have a sad red box down there, where it normally says "alison".

It's CD31, and 9 DPO, according to Fertility Finder dot com. They say AF is coming on Sunday. I'm actually betting on Monday, since that's oddly the normal day she comes. My temps were much lower this LP than last time, but they're still staying up -ish.

j and I talked yesterday and we're definitely doing one more met-only cycle, just to see how things pan out, and then we'll go back to my PA. She has one more chance to tell us something productive, or we're switching practices.

My dad and step-brother are in town until tomorrow morning. They helped put 2 attic fans in our attic last night to suck the hot air out, and keep the house cooler. They're magical fans, I swear. I'm in luv. We're heading to the best pizza buffet ever for lunch (Jill will know where we're going... ;)) and then to a baseball game tonight. Should be good fun. And I have the afternoon off, which doesn't hurt.

I'm having this thing lately where I can't wrap my mind around being pregnant, not right now. I can't really explain it, it just doesn't feel like right now is the time. I don't know if that means right now this cycle, or right now this summer, or right now in my 20s, or right now ever. So I'm kind of treading on sticky, weird waters, mentally (I know, sticky AND weird water, who'd have thunk it...). It's not that I don't want a baby, I would steal one if it was legal, I just don't know how to fit pregnancy into my life when it seems so far from me right now. I know this doesn't make sense. I just want to be cautious and listen to God, and know that everything will work out the way it was supposed to. And I don't want to spend countless time, energy, and money throwing myself at something that He's not ready for me to have. I got this ceramic thingie for my dining room a few weeks ago, it says something like "listen for the quiet moments when God speaks and the world is loud". I don't want the loudness of my life to overshadow God's nudgings on what I'm supposed to be doing. Oddly enough, like Mel, I feel very, very at peace with things today. Not that we're going to stop trying, just that I feel content for right now. Hmm.

and on that note...

Lately I've been having these adoption rumblings within me. You know how when you hear a new word, or a rare topic comes up, or something out of the ordinary happens, it seems to happen over and over again? For instance, last month someone was talking about Sesame Street. Random, and not part of my daily life anymore, but not earth-shattering. Well for a few weeks after that, I saw, heard, and read about Sesame Street every where I went - everyone was talking about Sesame Street. Now I know that this isn't some extra special thing t0 me - it happens to all of us. I think our subconscious is kind of like "oh you liked hearing about Sesame Street, let me go out and find all that I can about that for you". And the next thing you know, Bert and Ernie are coming up everywhere.

But I digress...

Last week I stayed home sick from work on Tuesday. I just happened to catch an old Adoption Stories on TLC. I watch them occasionally, but I've seen maybe 5 in my lifetime. A couple was adopting from Columbia. Nifty. Then later that night I was reading the Lost and Found, and someone had received a matchy thing (sorry to all the adopters out there for my inappropriate lack of adoption vernacular) to a child in Columbia. I thought this was a little odd - I mean the L&F quite often mentions matches for every adoptable African and Latin American country, but the Columbia match stood out to me since the couple on Adoption Stories adopted from Columbia. I guess it's just not a country you hear about a lot. Then the next day on the way home, they were talking about infertility on the radio. There were hords of people calling in saying that they had adopted and then some went on to say that they were blessed with or without biological children. Noticing a pattern? Then I read on our church's website about how they're going to begin an International adoption ministry this fall. I was very, um, intrigued I guess you could say. Like I want to know more right now.

So. Huh. I'm kind of stuck between 2 places, either 1)I'm just noticing these adoption nuances because that's what we do when we start to see patterns in things or 2) God is trying to tell me something. If 2) is true, I want to be faithful and figure out what to do. But I don't want to head for #2 if it's just #1. Argh.

I've always been pretty comfortable with adoption I guess you could say. It's not like I grew up thinking "there's NO WAY I would ever do that". It's been more like "it sounds like a really awesome way to spread your love to a child who needs it, but I don't know if it's for me." I remember early on when we were dating, j saying something to the effect of "yeah I would like to adopt". He probably doesn't remember this now. I asked him about my adoption "sightings" and he thinks we need to keep moving forward with life for right now, and whatever we're supposed to do will become clear. I agree.

This thought bubble is getting long, but to sum it up, I'm ok with our current place in trying to make a mini-us. And irregardless of our ability to have a biological child, I have some serious rumblings about adopting. More to come on that I'm sure. So stay tuned, things are just getting interesting I think.
And lastly, because I'm about to get voted of the island by my husband and father who are working on our house while I'm blogging....

You must click here. It's a link to my summer of 2008 song (I just declared it my summer of 2008 song) - All I Wanna Do by Sugarland. Even if you don't like country music, click on it, you won't be disappointed. But beware, it might make you smile, tap your toes, and dream of beaches and flip flops and hanging out with your favorite person. Oh, and it WILL get stuck in your head. Go ahead, click it.

*hugs*

first, second, third

2008-06-13T16:42:00.004-05:00

First, the lovely Jill who used to reside at Will There Be a Baby Deux? has ended that blog, and would like you to visit her at her family blog: http://tice-family.blogspot.com/. No really, she's fun, I promise. If you're an old reader who wondered where she went, or if you're looking for a new one, check her out. Warning: adorable children mentioned for those of you who it pertains to.

Second, holy crap, I'm addicted to twitter. Seriously. Try it, you'll like it. And then tell me your username so I can follow you. I'm going to add one of those doohickies to my blog so it shows up here, but you can follow me at http://twitter.com/uncomplicateme. Ahh! Technology!

Third, the fantastic Patrice had a mega-fun meme today that I just HAD to try. I'm seriously so excited for this that I came home and grabbed my iPod and here I sit. Ready?

Put Your itunes/ music player on Shuffle
For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!!!

After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves!

If I have comments on a song, I added them in italics after the song.

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
Cigarettes by The Wreckers

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Headstrong by Trapt
[ahhahaha, deliciously true!]

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Remembrance by Jim Brickman
[always a good thing! lol]

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Dirty by Trick Daddy feat. Lil' John and Twista
[ok, seriously, is this thing psychic?? or do i smell??]

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
The Rest of Mine by Trace Adkins

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Life is a Highway by Rascal Flatts
[so, SO true. i'm not making this up!]

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Here It Goes Again by OK Go
[yikes...]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
I've Got Friends That Do by Tim McGraw

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Bring Em Out by T.I.

WHAT IS 2+2?
What's Love by Fat Joe

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Stand Still, Look Pretty by The Wreckers
[aww!]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Christmas Songs for the 90s by Larry the Cable Guy

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
When She Comes by Blessid Union of Souls

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Feels Like Today by Rascal Flatts
[actually, i listened to this song A LOT the summer after i graduated college, hmmm...]

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
My Next Broken Heart by Brooks and Dunn
[SO, SO, SO NOT TRUE. i love you, j!]

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Cling and Clatter by Lifehouse
[this one is probably true...]

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Toy Soldiers by Eminem
[ahahahaha, can you imagine??]

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Two Pina Coladas by Garth Brooks
[i hope!]

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Ode to My Car by Adam Sandler
[the dumb thing is, this is probably accurate, i have a lot of dreams about my car...]

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Head Over Feet by Alanis Morissette

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Walk It Out (dirty) by DJ Unk
[for the record i have no clue what this last song is, it must be j's!]

That was awesome! It's your turn!

I tag my first twitter friends: Mel and Alison. I also tag Dreams Come True and VA Blondie, who tagged me and I haven't responded yet. :( Lastly, I tag YOU! Do it, it's fun!

Have a fantastic weekend!!

all about the O

2008-06-12T08:52:00.003-05:00

Those who guessed ovulation would have been right...

This is progress, people!! Progress!! I ovulated on CD22 - I've never O'd that early before. And I'm on track to have a 36 day cycle. Which is amazing. Amazing! Did I mention how much I love metformin? I love you, metformin. If you keep this up, I might name my firstborn Met. Ok, that's a lie.

I took my temp last night before bed just to see if I had a fever from this whole cold thing, and it was 98.44, so no fever here. (Did I mention how much having a cold sucks in June??)

Even if this month isn't the magical BFP month, I'm apparently ovulating. Which is fan-freaking-tastic.

Ok, that's all. Have a great day!

curious, no?

2008-06-11T14:29:00.002-05:00

First, please take a moment to check out my chart:

For those new to the BBT world... if your BBT rises and stays up, it could be an indicator of ovulation. This is from Fer.tility Fri.end and I think they have to have 2 days of temps at least .3 above your last highest temp to indicate the big O. So this means one of two things happened a)holy crap I ovulated! and on CD22 nonetheless! and our "timing" might not have totally sucked! and did I mention I might have ovulated! But it could also mean b) I got a stoopid cold starting Sunday (sinus infection/sore throat) (yes, I know it's June...) and I could have a low grade fever as a result. Though I don't think this is the case - my temps are pretty normal during the day and don't point to a fever. **TMI WARNING, TMI WARNING** If I did O, I didn't have that magical EWCM as an indicator this month. Which doesn't mean anything, but I usually have it... So we wait and see. Story of our lives...

::

Thanks to the help of all you scrapbooking geniuses, my wedding album is well on it's way! I have the wedding section done, and the reception section almost finished. Now I just need to get honeymoon pictures printed and those pages finished as well! And I have pictures, because we all love pictures, right?

...ok this is getting a little ridiculous copying allllll these page links from flickr. You should really click HERE and go check them all out yourself. Is that mean? I'm sorry if that's mean. I don't have the attention span to do this 20 more times. :)

One more good one though:

That's it for me today. Have a great humpday! Send some temperature-increasing vibes my way! :)