I Think

2009-11-28T12:12:00.000-05:00

moving day :S
feeling pukey!

2009-11-07T01:28:00.001-05:00

Jeez, I know I was tired, but did I have to use so many exclamation marks? Excuse me while I go punch myself in the face.

Day6

2009-11-06T23:35:00.005-05:00

Shazzam!
25 minutes left!
Today was a busy day, the niecey kept me on my toes...(they are nubs now)

So we played with the DSi a little! Taylors came in today so we did some Zelda battles!
It actually takes decent pics. The lighting was terrible but they weren't bad!

My dad was a good sport
(he has the sickness) and let me make him look silly

Mrawr!

This post was short, but sweet and totally counts!

Day5

2009-11-05T22:10:00.004-05:00

Woah!

So it's 10 o'clock and I'm just posting now. This Nablo thing was an impulsive decision I think.

I've been busy all day, watching a kid. Who knew that stuff was so time consuming eh?

Anyways, I'm scrapping that Proust Questionnaire.
I'm just not in the mood for public self reflection.

Not really sure what I'm in the mood for.
I kinda feel like I'm talking to myself out loud on the subway and everyone nearby is pretending to not be eavesdropping.

+++++
I have just had massive inspiration (from this friend)
GRILLED CHEESE

or rather how do you like yours?
Real cheese, or processed?
In one of those grill cheese makers, or on the toasting on the stove with lots of butter?
Tomato soup, or is that the most disgusting food combo everrrrr???

Questions that need answers people!

My preference? On the stove, tomato soup? Worst combo EVER. Unless, I dunno. I'm having opposite day.

Day4

2009-11-04T20:16:00.005-05:00

Today has been quite the day. My sis is gone overnight so it was just me and the niecey.
She was verrrry good. I took some video of her reading her two little books about hungry kittens. It was so precious I think I busted an ovary.

She also gave me a hat make-over!

Apologies for looking so pissed off. The joy is just very deep inside.

Day3

2009-11-03T17:47:00.008-05:00

The cold is here. Its blustery and gray and found a home in my bones. Hopefully not to stay since it's making things slightly miserable. Gray weather makes me sleepy and crave warm things. Possibly to make up for the fact that my bones feel like brittle icicles.

But enough of the cold! On with Proust and todays edition of the questionnaire.

Lets talk about deplorable things
(does someone remember those books?)

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My inability (but I am working hard on this) to just live in the moment. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. "If things are good now, they won't be for long" kind of terrible mentality.

I just want to be happy and living in the moment dammit! >.< What is the trait you most deplore in others?
I can forgive a lot. Especially if people acknowledge bad habits and work on them. But I think we're talking most about pet peeve things right? Because we all don't like the usual stuff. i.e. murderers/evil doers. You know, I think this is a stupid question. I don't like the usual deplorable things. Also, Proust? You are on notice, so far this questions are kinda sucking ballz. Also, this posting everyday is harrrrrd. Boo.

*p.s.
I just had won ton soup, that must of had tons of salt/msg.
I feel like I may die.

** p.p.s. (three hours later)
so yeah, I almost did die, I had to drink baking soda and water (ghetto saline solution) to re alkaline (or something like that) my blood. Thank God my father in law is House and I didn't have to go to the hospital. Because I probably would have gotten H1N1 and died from that instead. (a joke. hahahaha)
Turns out when you're hypoglycemic, AND have high blood pressure, and have only had really salty Won Ton Soup. It's not such a good combo.
***p.p.p.s
this is my excuse for a half ass post. I nearly died whilst typing it up.

Day2

2009-11-02T14:45:00.004-05:00

Today has been hard.
Today is the two year anniversary of when my Grandfather died. I woke up knowing and feeling that, but trying not to dwell. Out of weird coincidence my sister and I ended up having lunch at The Backroad Cafe. I hadn't been there since I used to go with my Grandpa.

Grief is surprising.
I can only acquaint it with Water. How it moves, it can be gentle, or powerful.
It can destroy and cause ruin like no other force.

I'm not going to do a Proust question today.
Today I'm just going to sit and be still.

Nablopomo

2009-11-01T13:25:00.013-05:00

Yeah, the girl who never speaks is gonna attempt this bitch.

Word.

And to help me with that, lets all have a posthumous clap for Proust!
His eyes are much bugg-i-er than I imagined.

.....YOU KNOW!
THE GUY! THE FRENCH GUY!
Or rather, THE FRENCH GEE!

Hahaha..

So whatever, I'm not funny.
We can't all be good at everything, because then we'd have to punch each other in the face. which would make the poor Canadian police, really busy. And they'd get really disgruntled and write everyone a ticket, and then THAT would make the people punching each other in the face, more aggravated, so much so, that they'd go to Ottawa and protest! Peacefully and quietly of course

And, OH GOD, that would make Parliament have to close, and then the Bureaucracy would crash to a grinding HALT.

HA! I just made a bona fide JOKE.
I AM FUNNY.

Anyway,
expect lots of sarcasm and maybe when this is all done, Avitable could do one of his dead person of interest interviews.
But it'd have to be in French.
And..well, interest is all relative anyways. Or is that the wrong word?

So..
I'm gonna start this now.

What is your perfect idea of happiness?

Two words.
Haagan Daas. That doesn't make you fat.
But seriously?
Ya this depressed lady is working on that one.

What is your greatest fear?

Death.
I don't really think about my death so much as, always being reminded that people die. People I love are going to die. I'm trying to work on not torturing myself with the knowledge of that, and feeling like everyone is already dead, and I'm just reliving bittersweet memories.
Because that? Is kinda really effed up.

But, my real greatest fear would be waking up glued to a bed full of centipedes and cockroaches soaked in gasoline with only a zippo to help me escape. Besides the saw, but I'm not sure how that'd help. Maybe if i thwacked all the insects with the saw? But I'm glued to the bed, so that wouldn't really work.

HENCE!
My greatest fear!
Cuz I'd be totally SCREWED!

So people who read this?? You should give your answers in the comments!

Cri 2.0

2009-10-27T15:01:00.001-04:00

Cri 2.0, originally uploaded by CristyMuranda.

Finger Braces + Lightened Hair = feeling all the more visible and clumsy

Deep Breaths + Patience = adjusting

Samorost

2009-10-25T23:07:00.002-04:00

A lovely, little game

Also, we're moving back to Windsor, end of November.
Pictures will come eventually. Also, details.

A Moment

2009-09-03T02:59:00.001-04:00

A Moment, originally uploaded by CristyMuranda.

tired but too sore to sleep. tay is semi-awake as well, from a bile headache.
his best friend is coming over tomorrow, possibly for the rest of the week. we're both looking forward to it, even though in this moment, we are miserable.

Dreaded

2009-08-12T15:43:00.001-04:00

Dreaded, originally uploaded by CristyMuranda.

FIrst go at putting in my first dread. It turned out really well I think. I'm not sure if I should do some more or just leave it at that, or just add one more somewhere else? Ahhh, decisions to be made!

OT Update and the end of all this medical updating-ness

2009-08-09T12:23:00.005-04:00

Last one, for a while. At least till the end of September.

The day we left to go back to Toronto, we first saw the Occupational Therapist (so cute and nice, and 8 months pregnant!)
She, like the PT, also found my bendiness very interesting. (she specializes in hands.wrists.fingers). She was also concerned about future dislocations and was glad I hadn't had any yet. She said, 'well, I hate to be the barer of bad news, but you are most definitely the definition of 'hypermobile' and we're gonna have to size all ten of your fingers for ring splints, and you'll need to wear wrist braces when you sleep, so you don't get carpal tunnel syndrome' Inside I went, ''Huzzah!'' I am not crazy and I DO exist! Or something stupid like that.
And then she decided to order my silver ring splints from both our favourite place in West Virginia. Now if I could just find the patience, or get someone else to tune my cello, I'll be able to play again.
So whats happening now, is that we're fiddling with ODSP to hope that something is covered or else they will cost over 500 dollars. Most people only need a couple not TEN. So they run pricey, because they are hand sized and hand made. And are silver, so pretty indestructible.
I'm excited and happy to be honest, soon I won't be feeling as if my fingers are always going to snap off.
Too bad I didn't show her how I can bend my toes backwords to touch my feet. I think she would have said, 'cooooool'. Instead of everyone else being all, ' STOP, EW, stop that!'

Week One

2009-08-09T12:18:00.001-04:00

Week One
Originally uploaded by CristyMuranda

First week of Diet has gone well (it is what it is, and it is a diet) I don't own a scale, so I don't know the exact amount of weight I lost this week, but I can tell that I did lose some. I think I'll turn this into a weekly thing. I've tried to lose weight so many times the past 6 years that I'm still trying to believe that this time it will work. Because this time things are in fact different.

pt update

2009-07-28T19:36:00.001-04:00

Today went really well, the PT was really super nice, i think she found it kinda fascinating how much my fingers and wrists bend, she was concerned about dislocations and was really glad i hadn't had any, she worked with me for an hour testing all my fingers and both wrists to see how much they bent, how much strength i had and so on. she officially said that i definitely have hyper mobility, and was taking it seriously enough to refer me to an OT that works in the clinic that specializes in hands to get checked out with all her gadgets and to have the OT size me for the splints.
so yes, it was very good and i'm very blessed. i was really worried it would go completely the other way, because a lot of the time, that is what happens.

so now, we're coming home thursday. but i couldn't pass up seeing the OT thursday especially since she's 8 months pregnant. if i were to wait, she's most likely be on maternity leave.

i am having a hard time with feeling so incredibly guilty about all the money my parents have spent :/

2009-07-28T13:04:00.002-04:00

going to the PT this afternoon to get fitted for braces for my knuckles to keep them from bending to far while doing stuff with them. i'm still kinda worried the dr will laugh at me and not believe me. but i have a prescription from 'lady doc' for it, so that should hold some weight right?

my mum wants me to get a orthopaedics fitting for insoles for my shoes and what not, since that should help keep my pelvis and ankles and other joints in place, and hopefully ease my lower body pain.

since i've been taking the progesterone at night, i've been able to sleep pretty good, i sleep deep enough not to be woken up by things, or even taylor still awake on the laptop next to me. which is quite a miracle, if i do say so myself. so thats good. i get checked out again, in two months to see how everything is doing. the nurse practioner did a test on me, to see the energy i'm emitting from a celular level, and everthing is not so great (my cells are leaking) except my metabolic rate. since i'm taking the greens and stuff, that seems to be keeping my metabolism good. but everything else needs to heal itself, which should happen with all the different things i'm taking.

sooooooo yeah!
i guess thats everything, brain is all over the place today.
i've gotta pick up the rest of my progesterone prescription, go to the chiropractors and then the physio therapist. busy day.

The Verdict

2009-07-24T17:20:00.002-04:00

H'okay.
I got all my results for my various blood tests and the hormone saliva test today.

I'm not dying. (thought i'd get that out of the way first)

but, things are very broken.

from the blood tests results she told me that my inflammation is so high that i'm 'on fire'
also, my thyroid is borderline to being not functioning well'. which she said, some dr.s would say 'its fine' and whatever, but its not really fine, its just borderline. and also , i have a LOT of (really, all of) the symptoms of having a thyroid issue, so i'll now be taking a low dose of thyroid medication every day. i also have a vitamin D deficiency. for that she gave me a vitamin d3 with vitamin k supplement.

from the hormone results:
my estradiol (estrogen) is fine and my testosterone is fine.
where things get ridiculous,
my progesterone, which is the hormone that is released the last two weeks or so of your cycle, and restores the lining of your womb and is calming and helps you sleep, and helps balances your moods. it SHOULD be about 130-250 or so.
MINE??? was 10
!!!!!
120 points way way way too low. also because of that, at the moment i'm infertile. the progesterone being so low explains,my anxiety and extreme sleep issues for the past TEN YEARS. since i went through puberty basically.
also my adrenal glands are not working properly. which effects things like managing stress, and fatigue. also one of those two, is why i get bad headaches all the time.

for the adrenal she gave me another type of supplement to help that, and also to lower my inflammation and help with chronic pain i got their pharmaceutical grade liquid fish oil. the liquid is better because you absorb it right away.

for my progesterone, i have to take the hormone, so she gave me prescription for that, and its not the synthetic progesterone hormone, so its safe and natural. we had to go to this one pharmacy in windsor where they make it up special.

so yeah. things are super messed up, and have been it looks like for a really long time.

so finally! finally, this should fix my sleep and anxiety and fatigue and inability to lose weight, water retention, and dizzyness i also have all the time.

so yeah. it just sucks because the only thing that was covered was the thyroid medication.
so i feel really bad/guilty my folks have to pay for it all.
but hey, at least there is a solution!

sorry this typing is lame. i am major tired.

also! i am getting my hair done tomorrow!

Pics from Family Picnic and The Bub (family cat)

2009-07-20T18:54:00.001-04:00

sorry about bubs pics being all yellow. very very POOR LIGHT. holy cow. its was really hard to get those ones.

Light Testing Phiren

The Ball That Has Withstood The Ages (duh duh duh)

pinecone

pinecone2

No Soot Sprites Here

yay...geese...yay...geese poop

Hut!

The Boy and his Ball

The Boys

!Cougar!

The Bub

Mood Shot #1 Whistful Bub

Mood Shot #2 Man In The Iron Mask Bub

Resting His Eyes

Sleepy Bub

BUB!

No Soot Sprites Here

2009-07-19T01:03:00.000-04:00

Good Food Day

2009-06-29T15:34:00.003-04:00

Breakfast :
fried eggs, with spanish onion and potato wedges

Lunch :
Strawberry and Avocado Salad
I sliced 8 strawberry's and 1 avocado and spread over a few cups of baby spinach,
I made my own dressing, I used:
2T oil
1T apple cider vinegar
4t honey
1t lemon juice

was most definitely the best salad we had ever had. and taylor does not like salads. so that says a lot. amazing for summer time!

Dinner :
Browned Salmon, with a rub made of garlic powder, dill, and a teeny amount of salt
Quinoa, with satee'd (in balsamic vinegar) sliced mushrooms

so yeah, i would definitely say today was a good food day.

*************
just wanted to add, why you should eat avocados every day!

About 75% of an avocado's calories come from fat, most of which is monounsaturated fat. Avocados also have 60% more potassium than bananas. They are rich in B vitamins, as well as vitamin E and vitamin K. They have the highest fiber content of any fruit - including 75% insoluble and 25% soluble fiber.
High avocado intake has been shown to have an effect on blood serum cholesterol levels. Specifically, after a seven day diet rich in avocados, hypercholesterolemia patients showed a 17% decrease in total serum cholesterol levels. These subjects also showed a 22% decrease in both LDL (bad cholesterol) and triglyceride levels and 11% increase in HDL (good cholesterol) levels.^{awesome eh?!}

the most beautiful commercial for a mattress you will ever see

2009-06-29T13:55:00.002-04:00

Gore

2009-06-28T19:11:00.003-04:00

i learned upward mobility and all i got was this lousy flesh eating disease. thing.

Black Public Media: A Doula Story

2009-06-28T04:09:00.001-04:00

Black Public Media: A Doula Story

Shared via AddThis

amazing! so so amazing! please watch this! this is not about criticizing the medical community, this is about empowering and giving women and girls a voice in birth and motherhood.

done and nearly done

2009-06-25T17:42:00.003-04:00

it went OK. he had me lay down on an exam table while he did it, which kept me from passing out. he had to take five full vials. so 8 total. holy cow.
anyways, i was feeling OK until i got home and then started to pass out sitting on the couch. so i have my ice pack on my neck and am now lying down, which helps. i'm feeling alright now, if not a bit squiffy. standing and moving around isn't so awesome, especially since today is so bloody hot and humid. i don't mind heat, but humidity is an effing bitch. i've only experienced worse in georgia/florida. it's even humid in the WINTER there (georgia)
i only have one test left, and i do that from home.
its a hormone saliva test, so i have to fast for 12 hours and fill up this spit tube first thing when i get up (does not seem an easy task), but not for a few days, it has to be day 19/one week before my next period.
then it gets sent off to a lab in Alberta and i find out those results three weeks from when i send it in. the blood test results in two weeks.
i'm just glad the painful stuff is over.
we're thinking i may be anemic, because of how poorly i handled the blood tests, and also apparently RLS can be a symptom of anemia. so HMMMMM.

to people who have to get poked and prodded really often, i bow down to you.
seriously. because it really sucks.

2009-06-25T07:55:00.002-04:00

please pray/think good thoughts/whatever for me today. i have to get the rest of my blood work done and would rather the lab guy and nurse don't think i'm going to die again. two times would really be a little too humiliating for me.

please do the above also for Veronica and her family today, yesterday her nan passed away.
it's a terrible thing, losing a loved one. people would be much more eloquent about their thoughts/the right thing to say. i am not those people, all i have to say is, it fucking sucks.