where's my daughter?

2009-11-11T09:51:00.000-08:00

a swarm of visitors and reasons to celebrate have turned our house into a home. thanks to our friends and family, we are learning just how warm our new place can be.

certain projects have been treading water...

but i did manage to hang the bedroom curtains last night.

2009-11-10T18:14:00.000-08:00

2009-10-29T14:09:00.001-07:00

2009-10-15T11:27:00.000-07:00

If you'd like to see some photos from our tour of Ireland, please click either the full album, which contains 150 photos, or the highlights album, which contains 53. It was a wonderful trip, and my only regret is that I didn't have much time when I got back to reflect and digest.

Seth and I have been in contract for a house in Oakland for six weeks now. We've been reluctant to report much on the process because it has seemed at every turn like we could come out on the top or the bottom. It's been one of the most challenging times I can remember. I do have good news, though: we are signing the papers in 20 minutes.

2009-10-08T11:50:00.000-07:00

2009-10-05T21:44:00.001-07:00

2009-10-02T10:37:00.000-07:00

Back from Ireland with a major deadline day today. Once I get all the paperwork done and passed to the right places and people, I'm hoping to be in touch with all of you that I've missed so much and then to tackle the photos from our tour.

2009-09-19T11:51:00.000-07:00

Since I will be missing Alesia's first birthday on Tuesday, I'm wishing her an early One today. I love you, little wonder!

from Jenni Bregman on Vimeo.

2009-09-04T18:33:00.000-07:00

We are obligated to consider its faults, but we are also growing fond of its beauties.

We went over for a house inspection, and some neighbors we'd met a couple weeks ago came out on their porch to ask "did you go for it?" When we gave them the thumbs up, he hooted and she clapped. There are hurdles to leap and challenges ahead, but so much sweetness to offset the stress and fear. Not to mention persimmons, lemons and a red front door.

2009-09-02T09:33:00.000-07:00

2009-08-30T09:56:00.000-07:00

When I was going to 12-step meetings in an eating disorder recovery program, I had a really hard time with the higher power part of the program. It was enough for me to be going through such a challenging reorientation toward food and my body, so I couldn't also muster a reorientation toward God. The best thing I could come up with was an idea of my own God, who embodies all the best qualities in me, and has a direct channel to the wisdom I haven't even unlocked yet. I imagined her floating behind me, like hybrid hummingbird/butterfly/jellyfish, pushing me along.

I've been rehearsing every day this week with the memory of that time. We are hosting a guest choreographer who is setting a piece on PDP for the fall show - Maija Garcia is a former PDP dancer and current dancer with Bill T. Jones. She started the rehearsal process by asking us to recall a period in our lives that we felt we were swimming upstream, against the current. Then she asked us to be that current, but over the course of the piece we also become the force that reverses it.

What an interesting bit of synchronicity to have received this photograph in email this morning. Photo by Rafa Hernandez from the photography workshop with Lois Greenfield last Saturday, my Mamala's birthday.

jellyfish photo by nascity

2009-08-19T13:25:00.000-07:00

2009-08-15T10:33:00.001-07:00

when we pat our chests, kiki jumps up and we catch her paws.
unless there is a camera waiting to capture it!

2009-08-13T15:42:00.001-07:00

echo house - didn't get it.

2009-08-04T18:41:00.000-07:00

keepin' it in perspective.

2009-08-03T08:59:00.000-07:00

The first house that we see that isn't boring makes my toes curl and falls just outside our price range. As far as we can tell, this house would cancel all foreseeable Christmas gifts and weekend getaways, plus probably any wiggle room for the dog to need eye drops or me to buy new shoes. Part of me thinks that's just how buying a house is, and probably we live too frivolously anyway, but another part of me wonders just how far you go for a *thing*. The debate gets much more convoluted when the thing would look smashing with your furniture in it.

(1953!)

It's on a hill, and there are a lot of stairs, so we would need to figure out something to make it more accessible. The hill is a little shallow for a driveway, and this morning I realized the obvious solution is a golf cart! Seth, rightfully, sees this as a needless problem for high priced home to have, and I, of course, have designed the path, know exactly where to park it, and have even determined how many keys we will need.

My brain hurts.

Vintage golf cart
Originally uploaded by JennRation Design.

I'm just saying!

2009-07-31T09:30:00.000-07:00

i could call it something sweet, like "wish list" or "some day",
but some things you just see and WANT.

big chill refrigerators. now with dishwashers!

a new design has been added to the origo collection for iittala. it's like the scrambled version of our dishes, and you know i love remixes... i saw a largish mixing or serving bowl advertised in dwell, but i can't find it online.

okay, this one i haven't even seen, but my brain likes to pick the best ones and move in mentally. this is my house-hunting downfall. i can't just see them as little boxes whose characteristics check or don't check off items on a list we made. as soon as a little box checks off a hair of a majority of those list bits, i start painting the walls, picking out refrigerators and ... wanting. which then makes me feel greedy and competitive. and also sets me up for a string of heartbreaks. here, do the mental move-in with me, and we call all be dreamy together: 4103 patterson

now i'll tell you that before we even got to the weekend, when we were supposed to see this, it is listed as pending on the mls.

2009-07-25T19:36:00.000-07:00

Seth and I have an appointment with a realtor to see several houses tomorrow afternoon. The kind you need a big loan to get, and then you can paint the walls whatever color you want, but you also have to fix your own toilet if it won't flush. House buying was always an intimidating subject, and then it started to be fun (especially the painting the walls part). It's intimidating all over again because we got official and got pre-approved for a loan and called an agent. And I have a map of Oakland.

Oakland... nobody calls a big house "charming,"* and our price range = Charming. We're still looking in SF, but our dollars will go further on the other side of the bay bridge. Our minds are open to change, our dog is open to a yard. These are pipe dreams, and I anticipate this experience could be rough. Maybe some days I won't want to talk about it. Maybe we'll give up and decide to rent for longer (we can rent all the words we can't buy, like Spacious.) But maybe we'll find a little house to call our own, and we'll actually have more than we thought we could. Or even just enough. Cross your fingers?

*now, when they use the word "gem," you have to kind of take a second look. unless they use this word for the house you lived in on an ant hill for five months before your landlord kicked you out to sell the place. (and 2 years later he still owns it and has it listed for 200k less than he bought it three years ago.)

2009-07-10T10:27:00.000-07:00

You are loved, you are missed terribly, and you are never ever out of our hearts. Happy Birthday to my oldest and dearest friend. I'm elated to have known you through so many phases, and to have seen you become an amazing mother over the last year. You are inspiring, brave, and strong, and you have the biggest heart and soul I have ever ever seen. I am so glad you are with us for your birthday!

We celebrated Anjie last night at Ivy and Robijn's beautiful new spot in Oakland. They made tacos, and we made more memories. Anjie, you are the best excuse to come together!

More photos (through the wonderful lens of Tom):

umbrella photo credit: Mute*

2009-07-02T17:12:00.000-07:00

2009-06-30T09:39:00.000-07:00

Seth and I were determined to participate in one of our local high holidays this year. As you can imagine, Gay Pride weekend is huge in San Francisco. It's almost too huge, especially over a couple of days of abnormally broiling weather, but we slathered on sunscreen, wore practical footwear, and even took public transportation to commune with the revelers.

Saturday's big event is a party in Dolores Park. It's part lawn concert, part picnic, part excuse to go topless (san francisco loves the topless). There were thooouuusands of people in this little park in the scorching heat. The smart ones brought umbrellas, and the dumb ones wore jeans (me! teresa!). At 7pm the whole crowd siphons onto the street to become the Dyke March, and the march ends in the castro to become the giant Pink Party. We skipped the march and party, because three hours in the direct sun with cold beers is kind of event enough for these two.

Sunday is the big huge parade up Market Street, which ends in a big huge fesitival party at the Civic Center, and parties all over the Castro. It was a rare Sunday without rehearsal, and I thought I'd make it to the parade, but we didn't motivate until the afternoon to check out what was happening. It was packed everywhere, the booth I waited in line for was out of food, and it was too hot to dance at the stages. We clocked about an hour and then moved on.

Even though we're maybe not so much crowd people any more, it's the spirit of Pride that I wanted to see and feel. San Francisco is a great gleaming disco ball, and people come from all over the world just to wear a mesh shirt or a wig or a tutu in public, then dance all night without anyone giving two shits. There are probably people here who don't approve, but on Pride weekend, lucky for all of us, they stay home.

SFGate has more photos here. And Tangobaby has a really great collection here.

2009-06-27T10:00:00.001-07:00

watch out! tsssss.

2009-06-26T13:27:00.000-07:00

2009-06-19T13:46:00.000-07:00

Ming's Coffee Shop was my go-to spot for my go-to breakfast for a couple years, and one day it was gone. *pout*

New Ming's opened around the same time, but it doesn't open early for breakfast. I went today for the first time, and even though I haven't seen the staff in over a year, they remembered me... and my regular breakfast.

she: Haven't see you for a while!
me: i know, not since you closed the other restaurant. you are not open for breakfast any more!
she: No, but you can still order scrambled eggs and rice. It costs six dollars and thirty-five cents now.

2009-06-10T12:51:00.000-07:00

i went to find the video so i could share the song, and it turns out the video is pretty adorable. volume up!