Random Ramblings

The Feat of Shoe Shopping

2009-09-14T18:19:00.008+06:00

The blogging and microblogging world is atwitter about Lizzie Miller’s little paunch and presumably thousands of women are shrugging off their tummy corsets as they gleefully embrace their lovehandles in public (and swear off the samosas in private).

Now I am all for the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty and Glamour’s teeny-weeny attempt at representing an unbelievably gorgeous girl with believable body fat. Hmmm..but that is probably because I am no model and nowhere close to the coveted Runaway size zero.

Even as bloggers take up the cudgels for the regular gal, decent sized haute couture, believable bods and non-airbrushed airheads, there is nary a voice that fights for the cause of…horrors..women with gigantic feet.

Women who never get shoes in a size 8 unless they rummage in the men’s section, women who have to go around looking like clods because all they get are clods, women who fantasize about squeezing their bony, chubby, scrawny, fat and oversized feet into a dainty pair of Jimmy Choos, women who hate shopping for shoes because there is always that salesguy who dismisses you, and your ugly tootsies, with a “Sorry Madam, yeh apke size mein nahin milega”.

Right, so I am 5’7” and thereabouts. I am not expected to get into a size 6. Add to that a hereditary bone that juts out and I am doomed for life. Maybe I should take up the cause of women who are discriminated against on account of their (non self-imposed) choice in footwear.

If you are a few kilos overweight you can work towards reducing the fat but the only way I can aspire to a size 7 style is by amputating my toes.

Just a Disconnect

2009-09-09T11:42:00.005+06:00

I keep promising myself that I will make a post at least once a week – preferably during office hours. Unfortunately, I am a (self-imposed) social networking pariah. I am unabashedly not addicted to FB, I Stumble Upon dazzling finds that I promptly forget to share with the world. And ahem.. I am a tweet-twit.

Now, the irony of it is I work for one of India’s premier digital agencies and suggest SNS ideas on a daily basis to brands desperate to google, tweet, scrap, stumble, digg and connect with India’s whatever million connected youth. In other words, I have unlimited access to everything…and I am pretty sure that includes porn. But that’s just it, when you have too much of a good thing, you are really not all that interested:)

And when I get home, feed, bathe and make V sleep, all I want to do is snuggle in with a good read.

BOOKS I AM READING
The terribly dull ‘VOID MOON’ by Michael Connelly. I like my occasional psychotic killer who murders with clinical detachment but I do so like a good chase– VM is too technical and too trigger happy. Boring.
The fairly entertaining ‘ELEPHANTA SUITE (Paul Theroux) The phirang’s eye for embarrassing details that we Indians resolutely ignore. Nicely written and chiefly wins on account of the fact that the author dishes out the dirt on stuff other than roadside bowel movements.
Currently reading BEING INDIAN (Pavan K Varma). Fairly insightful and a darned good read, it has some pretty hilarious accounts and anecdotes. Eg. The priests of the Savitri Devi temple (Pushkar) demanding alimony from the nearby Brahma temple on the grounds that the Creator ‘divorced’ the goddess and so the priests must have a share in the Brahma temple’s earnings.
Have ‘KAFKA ON THE SHORE’ next on my list along with a bunch of old classics I intend revisiting (IVANHO, GREAT EXPECTATIONS).

From Narayan to Fitzgerald

2009-01-09T16:42:00.005+06:00

Amidst the murky doings of Ramalinga Raju and co. there is a faint sliver of light (which unfortunately does nothing to dispel the financial gloom). The man is a poet! Or, at least, aspires to poetic sensibilities. After all, how many of us, whist disclosing our dark dank deeds, would pepper our confession with evocative wordplay such as 'riding a tiger.....'??

A prominent economist pointed out the Satyam Chairman's letter was very 'Keats-like'. I can't get it out of my head that Raju is an RK Narayan fan. When I read his condensed confession, the visual of the reclusive Swami's chatty pet tiger ('Tiger for Malgudi') immediately sprang to mind.

Narayan's books' appeal lies in its austerity. He never uses clunky words that have his readers thumbing feverishly through a dictionary, his plot is never convoluted. Instead his story simply flows, bubbling over like a happy brook from one quirky chapter to the next.

My Narayan favourite remains to this day, 'Swami and Friends' - a dog-eared 24 year old copy of which is still one of my most treasured possessions. It is a delightful chronicle of a child's innocence and his growing years - before the Adrian Mole hormones set in. Most adults see it as a chronice of a childhood lost.

As my mommy pal Swati puts it, kids no longer enjoy the simple pleasures of life, they are way too materialistic. But sometimes when I see a streak of adventure and the thirst for an imaginative tale, I know all is well with the world. But these instances are far and few and which is perhaps why I hate the damned television. And why I haven't yet plopped my one-year old in front of it and hopefull never wi ll. Or at least, until he gets hooked. God give me the strength to hold out:)

Books I am reading :: Mostly Fitzgerald.
After re-reading 'Great Gatsby' for the 4th time (Can ANYONE describe the play of light and shadows as well as F. Scott Fitzgerald???!!), I moved on to the intriguing short story collection 'Diamond as Big as the Ritz' ('Bernice Bobs Her Hair' being the pick of the crop...pun intended). I heard about the movie version of 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button' and scoured the net to pick up a free copy of Fitzgerald's short story here. And of course I spent an unpleasant half-n-hour dwelling over Mrs. Button's labor pains. Just started 'Tender is the Night' unfortunately the blurry penguin print is getting to be a regular eyesore.

After 'Making a Mango Whistle' (a so-so children's version of 'Pathar Panchali') I am confident there are Apus (and Swaminathans) all around us if we only make the effort to get to know them. True, they might not see the beauty in a budding leaf or try to create telegraph wires out of vines but nonetheless.

When it comes to children, yours truly remains a resolute optimist.

Light Up

2008-10-30T11:48:00.000+06:00

Back from a Baby Break

2008-05-06T16:57:00.004+06:00

It has been 5 months since Ved popped out (Dec 8th) and although the baby blues passed me by, I have been pushing (pun intended) a lot of things on the backburner – this blog, repotting my 30 odd plants, scraping together my big book idea, plodding through Roberto Calasso. .......

Babies are surprisingly non-complex. You have to figure out the signals, once you crack that you are on a roll. Babies come precoded and it is just a matter of time before you break it down into the basics – need to poop, need to eat, need to zzz. Funny, I never thought I would enjoy being a mum but I love it, every minute of it, even the sleepless minutes.

Baby Conversation #1
Me: He looks so cute in that weird outfit
Well-meaning relative: No no don’t say that, drishti aango (aka the evil eye)
Me (rephrasing): He looks like a monkey in that weird outfit
Well-meaning relative: How can you say that about your own child
Hmm

Weird Fact: Having a baby the natural route minus drugs is JUST like, pardon my French, taking a dump. I swear! Heck when the nurse was asking me to give the ol’ heave ho she explicitly asked me to “pass motions”..amidst the haze of sweet pain you wonder - "Does she know which way is the exit?"

On Reading
Do post pregnant women dumb down their reads? According to a Telegraph UK survey, they do. Brit mommies toss ponderous biographies in favour of frothy flakey chick lit. Hallelujah so I haven’t scraped the bottom of the barrel yet! Post pregnancy I have shamelessly devoured pulp fiction but only of the detective thriller variety – Harlan Coban and Michael Connelly. Thanks Vivek!!Nonetheless I intend improving my reads once I successfully manage to juggle the pooping-peeing-eating sessions, the pram strolls, the swimming, the cooking and the work (Maternity leave is over, woe is me!)

Sleeping with Shakespeare

2007-09-13T16:17:00.000+06:00

What is wrong with the word 'pregnant' - it rolls off your tongue with a delicious twang, it is succinct, it is pithy and most of all you know what it bloody means! Why can't a woman say it like it is? Why must she stoop to euphemisms and not make the matter-of-fact declaration 'I am pregnant'. Is that a cuss word? Will God strike her down?? Or does the P-word shrivel sensitive high bred ears? I am not sure but honestly 'I am carrying' and 'I am expecting' are so totally half-assed. Er Carrying what? A lotta to the nearest field???

Now I infinitely prefer a 'bun in the oven'..or two as the case may be. It appeals to my Wilkie Collins/Edith Wharton/Austen sensibilities and is vague enough to keep the less informed in a haze of ignorance. But you NEVER get to hear that. I have heard it only once. But all that carrying and expecting is still carrying on. And to that I add my latest gem 'She is in the family way'. I should hope so, it is not pleasant having a child out of wedlock.

At the risk of sounding self-centred, I cleared my MA Lit with a first div! Huzzah! On a sort of related note, and this was before my results were declared, I have been going to bed with Shakespeare. Eight pages down 'Taming of the Shrew' and I sleep like a babe. SS has this soporific, lulling effect but then I am still on the comedies :)

BOOKS I AM READING

My vote for the most horrendous book of 2007 or at least read in the year 2007. The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova. A pretentious, pompous, lame attempt at merging a travelogue with a thriller Kostova falls flat on both counts. Dubbed as a 'chilling thiller' - it is about as chilling as yesteday's pudding spilt on the tarmac. Appallingly silly not to mention tiresome, I have never read vampire lore this asinine and my non-fictional book on Vlad the Impaler positively gallops after this bit of plodding drivel. The days of judging a book by its reviews are long gone. What beats me is how Kostova wangled those dazzling recommendations.

Offsetting this canker, is RK Laxman and his quirky autobiography: 'The Tunnel of Time', if you enjoyed Narayan's 'Malguidi Days', you can trace his inspiration from Laxman's life. However the best books I have read over the past month are definitely the 'Girl who Played Go' and 'The Comfort Woman' (See previous posts).

The Post Secret Movie

2007-08-17T23:48:00.000+06:00

By far the best website I have ever visited, and keep visiting - they are out with a fabulous mini movie on YouTube. I like to imagine everyone has a secret that they nurse and nurture, confront and eventually release - at some point.

About 10 years ago I got a call from a random stranger who picked out a number from a phone book. Or so I figured. He was depressed and suicidal and just wanted to talk to someone, I do not remember what he said or how long he spoke. All I remember was the thumping of my heart, I was scared witless. After what seemed like ages, he thanked me politely and hung up. That's it.

I want to think he is still around.

Cick here for the Post Secret Mini Movie on YouTube
Or visit http://www.postsecret.blogspot.com/

People are a whole lot braver than we give them credit for.

Ditzy in Delhi

2007-08-11T13:57:00.000+06:00

I wish I was one of those prolific writers brimming with inspiration. Or then, perhaps, the more common species of pathetic blogger who airs out her every grievance. But there you go, here I am – deliciously uninspired and plain lazy.

1. My Delhi stint is proving to be a whole lot more tiring than I bargained for. Been here for just 2 ½ days and I have broadened my horizons by learning -

2. More than 2 people stumble across my blog and one actually reads it and wants more, thanks Jumping Translocation

3. Jetlite serves food. I joyfully stowed away my apple and bikkis and gratefully embraced the kababs (or whatever it was masquerading as meat)

4. A potential father can develop a sympathetic bulge to match his 8 month pregnant wife's belly.

5. I disappeared off the face of the planet aged three. According to my baby book. Apparently writer's block runs in the family. I have my genes to blame.

6. Discussing marital problems on your blog is 'de rigueur' according to a certain nearly-30 juvenile I have had the misfortune of knowing.

7. Childhood enmities run deep. Jolly and Saks shared a table for the first time in a decade, we have Nirula's hot chocolate sundae (aka HCS) to thank for it. Unfortunately my hands were so clammy fiddling around with the peace pipe I didn’t do justice to the diminutive delight. Preets plowed on - oblivious to the charged atmosphere.

8. Delhi traffic is amazingly beautifully choreographed. It's a visual delight. Try driving in Vizag.

9. Getting a duplicate driver's licence is a wee bit easier than planning a 30 day trek to Ladhak.

10. You should never carry more than 500 bucks whilst visiting Dilli Haat. Not accepting credit cards is the best anecdote to compulsive shopping binges.

11. Cancellation/rescheduling fees for Low Cost airlines is 750 bucks + the air ticket difference. Paying 40% of my Spice Jet return to reschedule..boo.

12. People 4 years my junior at school are balding. Scary. Sorry K.

13. My mum stole my TO KILL A MOCKING BIRD. She showed me the name written on the first page, my 10 year old scrawl on the second page didn't merit any attention. I grudgingly conceded defeat.

14. My baby sis paid 40 Euros for a real nice haircut which works out to about 6 haircuts in Indian currency.

BOOKS I AM READING
In-flight blitzed through NO. 1 LADIES' DETECTIVE AGENCY (Alexander Smith) - sweet and imminently forgettable but I have yet to complete it. So much for the International Book of the Year. Ignored TENDER IS THE NIGHT (Fitzgerald) – perhaps later but the plot of a schizophrenic who ruins a marriage hits closer home than I imagined. In comparison Jap/Chinese/Korean authors are brilliant, have three lined back to back...currently reading THE GIRL WHO PLAYED GO (Shan Sa) that Anusha/Mom highly recommended. Also love Kazuo Ishiguro and Banana (Yup it's true) Yoshimoto not to mention a host of other confusing names. Other books on my current reading list include WAITING (Ha Jin) and COMFORT WOMAN...trying to squeeze in THE HUMAN STAIN as well. On a crappier note, my man in Petersburg canot dig out any of the Russian folktales (the illustrated books) - the one he did dig out did not feature gorgeous pictures and worse Baba Yaga. I will have to console myself playing with Matruskha dolls. No sign of Victor Dragunsky either. I miss the USSR publications!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Free Again

2007-06-13T10:11:00.000+06:00

I ‘fess up, I have been hiding out the past 4 days ODing on commercial crap. After two months of Emerson, I succumb to baser instincts - I built up a tottering pile of books that I will read for no ulterior motive and thanks to Venk I pre-ordered a copy of um, er…..{embarrassed cough} …..you know that Potter thing.

I was scraping the bottom of the barrel when I caught myself balefully eying a five year old’s Happy Meal donkey. But that was before I saw the Green Ogre fall flat on his monstrous gut. Damn, Shrek the Third makes a funeral dirge look reasonably amusing. The plot (which has more holes than a sieve) is so seriously unfunny it makes you weep – more so if you’ve just paid through your nose at your neighbourhood-obnoxiously-expensive multiplex. But you will see it anyway. As will I - with 4 and 5.

The plus point of all that studying is I have discovered some darned cool authors/critics and the fact that a fairly large chunk of poets are not snivelling-nosed whiners. Poets I like – Dylan Thomas, Robert Graves and Browning, Toru Dutt, Phillip Larkin and Donne and Plath’s less important half Ted Hughes (incredibly dramatic). Authors discovered – Woolf (non-fiction), Thoreau, Raja Rao. Authors/Dramatists re-discovered – MK Anand, Hemmingway, Karnad, Arthur Miller. It is kind of bizarre seeking out religious symbolism in ‘Lord of the Flies’ but never mind that.

Am already lagging behind a week in deadlines. A pox on mercenary employers who hover like vultures and swoop down the moment you surface for a gulp of fresh air.

My folks are off to Germany and Austria whilst I remain in beauteous Vizag coagulating to runny jell-O in the wretched heat.

Books I am Reading - Sort of

I liked Bonfire of the Vanities and Man in Full. Am hoping ‘I Am Charlotte Simonns’ matches up though the idea of a doddering old Wolfe writing like a hot-blooded PYT doesn’t really match up. Scouring my bookshelf stuffed with books I buy but never get around to reading. Dug out the Historian (Kostova), Brief History of the World (Bryson) and Howard’s End. Not to mention half a dozen others…am I addicted to hoarding? Help, Also re-visting Asimov’s Treasurey Science Fiction bumper book. Sorely disappointed they’ve knocked off yummy Sherlock ‘Brett’ Holmes from the History Channel.

Exam Fever

2007-05-07T12:07:00.001+06:00

Here's the deal. I am lazy when it comes to updates and finally I have a real reason. Exams. For the three of you who visit my blog, am out of commision till the 10th of June after which I promise to be more regular. I sat through 3 minutes of Krish yesterday between Barkha badgering a hapless family (a member had fallen prey to a fake encounter killing) and the Vanzara going-ons. Premeditated planned slaughter is one thing but gunning down somone (even an innocent) in the heat of the moment is something else altogether. A call for policemen NOT to kill is bizarre....can one stay resolute while being peppered by enemy gunfire? Isn't that the same as telling army men posted in sensitive areas to hold their gunfire just in case a shephard is ambling by?

On a happier note, I am floored by BACON'S ESSAYS. They are awesome...my favourite is OF ENVY. For a guy who was pulled down on corruption charges he has a lot to share on TRUTH..:) I can't quote et verbatim but here goes -"Truth comes at the price of a pearl that showeth best by daylight but doesn't rise to the cost of a carbuncle that showeth best in varied lights". 'A man who lieth is brave before God and a coward towards men".

OF ENVY

Ways to Save the Planet

2007-04-25T11:06:00.000+06:00

For the 23rd of April.

The 22nd was Earth Day as Mithun reminded me. It's imperative we reduce emissions aka the proverbial carbon footprint,

The Do-able Stuff
- Quit leaving appliances on standby mode
- Quit overcharging cellphones
- Refill bottles instead of buying new plastic bottles
- Switch off the monitor when the comp isn’t in use
- Use public transport or walk wherever possible
- Take your own shopping bags when you go grocery shopping
- Use newspaper trash bags
- Opt for trains instead of flights
- Pooh pooh at folks who use the lift (esp folks who live on the 2nd and 3rd floor). Lot of practice on that front.
- Switch to CFLs. Expensive but they do land up slashing electric bills considering 90 percent of the energy used by regular incandescent bulbs is lost as heat

The Psychotic Stuff
- Bathe Once a Week
- Flush Once a Week
- Petition for all cattle to be shipped to Mars (see 'What on Earth')
- Shun fans, lights, A/Cs – live in darkness
- Leave food out in the sun to cook
- Starve on cloudy days

The Why Stuff
Harsh white CFLs are synonymous with sterile office environment. Are yellow CFLs asking for too much?

Folk horde Spencer bags. I should know. I do.

I occasionally work for a Wood Magnate. I reassure myself that he is mainly into veneers that he sources from sustainable forests. Ah..the guilt.

The ‘What on Earth!” Stuff

Cattle release vast amounts of Methane through ahem..certain necessary body motions.

Scientists are embracing some bizarre ideas to reduce global warming - like the NASA giant sunshade idea or the forest of extremely ugly artificial trees that convert carbon dioxide into oxygen or for that matter seeding the ocean with irondust to boost plankton growth (that will reduce CO2 emissions). Then again, all great ideas stem from a moment of madness.

Carbon free celebs who go on gigantic tree-planting missions are causing frogs to croak…quite literally. Go figure!

Sydney, in tandem with WWF, conducted a one hour voluntary blackout recently that cut daily energy usage by 10.2%. Well, India is definitely in the eco-warrior league - considering all the energy saved during our (non-voluntary) blackouts.

Have I Been Gypped

2007-04-17T11:02:00.000+06:00

Someone once told me that meaningful writing stems from an acute longing or acute depression, I am not sure which. I daresay, numbness isn’t the hallmark of great writers.

Well, here I am back after a longish break (mostly spent waiting for the muse to come knocking at my door) and boy have I been gypped. One hyped book and one hyped movie later, I am definitely wiser.

I read the NAMESAKE and could barely get through it - Boring, trite, insipid. INTERPRETER OF MALADIES (Lahiri's debut novel) was infinitely better. Nonetheless I hopped across for the movie hoping Irfan and Tabu could breathe some new life into a jaded theme. Big mistake. Though on a positive note, the acting and direction is smashing.

While the Namesake proved vaguely entertaining, I cannot get over the fact why pseudo intellects gush over Amitava Ghosh. Sure, he is learned and sure, he can clump together a mean description of the Sunderbans or erstwhile Rangoon, but when it comes to fleshing out characters, he sucks and how!

My second venture into Ghosh territory ‘THE GLASS PALACE’ was as disappointing as ‘HUNGRY TIDE’. (Post on that here). Giving credit where credit is due, Ghosh is amazingly lyrical and is brilliant when it comes to transcribing history or describing a place, but he fumbles ineptly with the plot and characters. The book begins evocatively enough - slowly and alluringly, but midway Ghosh hits the fast forward button and what could have been an engrossing novel becomes instead a bland narrative. There is definitely something wrong with a book if one has to struggle and I mean really struggle to complete it.

For the record I gave up on PALACE after page 374 but that didn't stop me from sneaking a peek at the last page (ah…an urge I have withheld for nearly a decade) where I came across the most bizarre love-making scene ever. Do they have an award for that, along with the Bad Sex in fiction award? ‘Rajkumar discovers Uma’s dentures are clamped within his, staring in round eyed befuddlement at the pink jaws that were protruding out of his own – Uma leant forward and fastened her mouth on her own teeth and they shut their eyes….’

I have nothing against love-making at all ages, but do you have to shed your dignity along with your clothes? Actually you do, but that is besides the point and anyhow that wasn't my crib about the book.

Books Worth Reading
Re-read THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA (Hemingway) after more than a decade. A book that left no impact on me as a kid, moved me to tears as an adult. Ditto DEATH OF A SALESMAN though minus the tears (Arthur Miller). Also got my hands on an antique edition of WALDEN (Thoreau) - The author lived for two years in a self-made cottage by a pond to prove a point – You can live simply by shrugging off materialism and dependence on others. Um…but he ‘borrowed an axe’ to construct the house and I think the land was borrowed as well. Well, it's the thought that counts:)

Poets In Us

2007-03-27T23:26:00.000+06:00

If I could write even a smidgen of poetry I would be a neo-romantic. I had pictured myself as a nihilist, unsentimental realist in the vein of the deliciously cynnical Philip Larkin or an outspoken erratic Ted Hughes.

But there you have it...as I was reading Dylan's 'Poem in October' and 'Hunchback in the Park' it struck me with the force of a slap. Honestly, it was enough to turn my stomach. I am a nostalgic fool fervently pressing down, with gentle fingers, faded memories of my life back in Gulmohar Park, Delhi. Back when life was so amazingly uncomplicated except for a burden called school.

If I ever got around to writing that dratted book it would be about us - a pack of vagabonds flying kites near Harivansh Rai Bachchan's house hoping that one would snag and we would finally find out if Bachchanji really did have a rooftop swimming pool. It would be us carefully cultivating Famous Five and Secret Seven mannerisms, looking for hidden islands and obvious mysteries. Us, climbing trees and sending garbled torch signals house to house....us splattered across different cities, still in touch and so mundanely adult.

"And I saw in the turning so clearly a child's
Forgotten mornings when he walked with his mother
Through the parables
Of Sunlight
And the legends of the green chapels.
And the twice told fields of infancy
That his tears burned my cheeks and his heart moved in mine"
- Poem in October (Dylan Thomas)

Why a venerable old gentleman should soak in a rooftop pool is anybody's guess but for us that was the epitome of all things unattainable - a rooftop that was was probably dotted with sodden junk and Amitabh's rusting baby pram - but we never did find out and perhaps it is better this way.

Blast frm the Past - Nostalgia Trip on this blog

Where Are the Soviet Books
To Kill a Mocking Bird
Give Me My Monopoly
And just a bit on poetry. I have changed...having come to appreciate poetry courtesy AU
Crabby Poetry

Monthly Ramblings

2007-03-14T00:10:00.000+06:00

Feb to March has been a bit of a crazy ride and I am not too sure if I want to get off or sit it out. The holiday is well and truly over. Back to battling the deadline scourge that infests my waking hours.

Lately, whenever I pick up a book, I feel guilty about ignoring the ponderous tomes I am supposed to peruse if I have a chance in hell of passing my MA 2^nd year – corr. Nonetheless I went bookshopping recently at PAGES (VIZAG) and met this amazing chap who is a book consultant! Notch that up with DJ at a rock./retro joint and food taster at the Zodiac Grill. What wouldn’t I give to be a book consultant though in my humble capacity I suggest books at a local library – how else could I have got my hands on ‘Cell’ hardbound...hyuck hyuck!

His name is Kalanidhi ("Reading is a Lonely Passion") and on his recommendation I added ‘The Historian’ to my ‘On Writing’ (Stephen King) and ‘Manticore’s Secret’ (Samit Basu). Have to get around to reading ‘The Historian’. Meanwhile another generous soul has lent me a crispy clean definitely unread edition of ‘The Glass Palace’ (Ghosh). My cup runneth over.

Top 10 Random Ramblings over the past 1 month

On Writing is an *&^% Indian Edition. It does not have the winning short story I read in the international edition, Damn damn damn……dammmmmit
Pan’s Labyrinth: The first adult fairytale I have seen. LOTR doesn’t count right. Btw what is the difference between a fairytale and fantasy? Do Goblins and trolls bridge the gap? Highly recommended but brutal…really brutal. Loved it. 96% on Rotten Tomatoes. I am right.
Flushed Away: Anyone with a yen for animation has to go where the sun don’t shine – down London’s sewers pervert. Ah I dine in anticipation of Ratatouille. Btw doesn’t Disney’s stills for ‘Meet the Robinsons’ look like last year’s toilet paper?
Weird Dreams: A rocket shriveling up my innards, I woke up sweating and actually touched my arms to check for sizzling flesh. Add to that being shipped off to Russia in my house. Scary shit. I used to control my dreams.
Marie Antoinette: Mellowdrama sheepishly admits she likes period drama. Sat through this fluffy gorgeous absolutely scrumptious production for the cakes and the clothes. Btw the scene where Dunst changes her shoes has a pair of Converse sneakers in the foreground. Probably the part where Sofia Coppola nipped out for a cuppa.
Firstandsecond.com: What the heck, I send ‘em a cheque, they claim they have Raja Rao. They don’t receive the cheque and say all the books I want are out of stock. Crap!
Suffarage of Elivra (Naipul) is giving me the heebijeebies. It is a nice book, entertaining but irritatingly repetitive. Give me House for Mr Biswas and Flag on the Island any day
Sherlock Holmes: Ah…Tuesday’s is the only day I watch TV for more than 26 minutes. Estimate news works out to that much minus the ads. Mmmmm.....Jermey Brett on the History Channel. Useless tidbit gleaned from rival Brett aka Sherlock lover – Brett appears holding Hepburn’s arm in 'My Fair Lady'.
Post Secrets: I check out this site every week and every single time there is something I can relate to. Am I that dysfunctional? Help.
Emails: Are a pain in the ass. More so if the rude recipient does not reciprocate. Cold turkey time – have been Msn and Yahoo chat free for more than a year. Gmail/chat and Skype is the way to go.

Been Awhile

2007-02-19T18:24:00.000+06:00

My brother tied the knot with Mukta in a ceremony that juxtaposed tambhi tradition with just a dash of Oriya flavor. The marriage of cultures proved to be surprisingly entertaining – more so when the vadiyar (Pandit for the unthambis) got his dhoti in a twist at the constant conch blowing. And even more so, when the conch blower, embarrassed by all the attention, developed cold feet and began sounding like a certain snotty nosed uncle paarping into a handloom hanky. I preferred the elephant.

The journey from Vizag to Hyderabd to Mumbai had its moments –
Hyderabad-Mumbai (Kingfisher)
Costing the same as Jet, Kingfisher was pretty cool– right from the attendant hovering solicitously by my elbow at the check-in to the natty tellys on every seat. So what if they only replayed Star, Zoom and Mallaya’s face? By the time I realized those radio channels do not really work, we landed. Honestly do those headphones work? Hmm..

Mumbai-Hyderabad (Deccan)
Except for the fact that some genius had left half a roll of crumbled bread carefully wrapped up in a newspaper on my seat pocket for me to scatter on my lap I had little reason to complain. One air-hostess actually cracked a smiled. A real smile! Her make-up flaked.

Other Assorted Highlights
Oldies Still Goldies: Watched TCM the three nights I was in Hyderabad. Cornball comedies and sappy b/w still appeal to me. Maybe I going soft in the head.

Acres Club, Chembur: The whole of Dharavi could be housed here and you would have room to spare. I was dead impressed, I don’t think I have seen so much of open space all together at one place in Mumbai. Ever.

Junkt: The jazz band we heard at Kala Godha (Mumbai) – maybe I should google em out, and follow their career. Then again maybe not.

Laxmi Woolen Mills Compound (Lower Parel): My office (Hungama) scraped the bottom of the barrel with this new place. It is humungous but after Raguvanshi and the proximity to the malls, this area sucks. Add to that the Hungama drop-off with sexist tendencies –only the women get dropped to Mahalaxmi station, the guys walk. Heh

Black Friday on V-Day with Amma: The movie is stunning..it really is. As for the OST, I have had it for two years now but you have got to hear Indian Ocean live. What is the real truth anyway?
"History isn't what happened. History is just what historians tell us. One good story leads to another."
- A History of the World in 10½ Chapters

Books I have been reading and re-reading
Like Water for Chocolate: If you like Allende and Marquez you will like this. Read it for the fourth time. It is positively scrumptious. Btw the movie which I saw post reading the book the first time round is also worth a watch.

The History of the World in 101/2 Chapters: Hilarious and thought-provoking – from Admiral Moses with his flotilla of sorry animals to the stowaway woodworms that give us the lowdown on the deluge, the book only deteriorates only towards the end when Julian Barnes goes on and ON about love. Anyhow an entertaining animal case, his take on the truth behind Gericault's splendid ‘Scene of a Shipwreck’, a ship full of Jews, a strange hostage system that parallels the Ark animals’ fate all make up for it….the book is a smashing read. Thanks a tonne Vivek!

Writer's Blah!

2006-12-24T00:25:00.000+06:00

One of the greatest mysteries of the modern world - how on earth do NaNoWriMo participants plug in a whopping 50,000 words in 30 days? Sure it boils down to 1,666 words a day which is doable provided you have the plot, the story, the idea, the characters, the beginning and the ending at the tips of your fingers....Or at least you have the seed of the idea germinating in the cosy windowbox of your mind.

Me? I have trouble knocking together this excuse for a blog. Ye cannot serve God and Mammon. I chose the latter complete with excrutiating deadlines and well, that's that. It is difficult indeed writing for nothing.

On a Serious Note
Why is our basic Indian justice system so flawed that miscreants get away in the lower courts only to get hauled up by the higher? Manu Sharma gets what he deserves and the hostile witnesses are going to get pulled up...but seriously without a witness protection programme would you speak out? Especially considering the guilty would probably buy their way out only to come baying for you blood? Would you stand up for integrity and justice and honour, or pocket the money and maintain a diplomatic (and infinitely safer) silence? Will it only be high profile cases that grab our attention while rural atrocities languish for lack of attention?

On a Lighter Note
Read this completely insane news piece in the Hindu (of all the newspapers) sometime back - about an American who farted on a short-haul flight (within the US of A) and promptly lit a match to dispel the stench. The flight was grounded and the woman reprimanded. Which brings me to two things, what the heck was she doing with a box of matches on a plane?

I thought matches were banned along with blow torches and hair gel and silcon transplants. Clearly this was a lady of refinement, a retiring wallflower who was willing to go to any lengths to detract attention from herself...and as luck would have it, nearly everyone who reads the teeny newsprint spirited in the obscure nether-regions of the newspaper knows who farted. The poor, poor, poor thing.

Just read HUNGRY TIDE (Amitav Ghosh) - The Sunderbans never seemed as enticing or as rife with danger. Though Ghosh is absolutely no good at sketching human characters - they seem like caricatures, mere cut-outs without a soul. Frankly I wouldn't have given a hoot if Kanai and his aunt Nilima filled a hungry tiger's tum or if Pia swims with the fish...really, my sympathies lie wholly with the mangroves. On a more generous note I could squeeze in two ounces of goodwill for the foolhardy settlers..

Solitary Swimmer

2006-11-22T16:02:00.000+06:00

“It isn’t the best time to be walking away from the sport but it’s my time”
- Ian Thorpe

Quitting when you are still ahead is a frightening prospect for an athlete who has only known one world far removed from, well, the real world. Thorpe’s decision has the sporting world in a spin but I admire the guy and wish him all the luck in the world.
From an article in the Hindu (by Rohit Brijnath) announcing Thorpe's retirement -

“Few pursuits are as solitary and confining.In practice, there is no mirror like the weightlifter has, no opponent to spar with like the boxer has. There is only the bottom of the pool and a black line as lonely as the swimmer”.

I couldn’t have put it better. Swimming is sweet melancholia and I wouldn't have it any other way.

What's News?

2006-11-18T12:10:00.000+06:00

I have scant respect for television as a medium of communication. Only seconded by the Times of India….

The outcry over getting the Jessica Lal/Matoo case back on track may have had its benefits but when the victim isn’t a young good-looking professional, then it ‘aint news.

I don’t see the media getting their knickers in a twist about booking Bhotmange’s daughter’s murderers. And what of poor Gudiya? She subsequently remarried and was pregnant with her second husband’s son when the first (supposedly dead) husband reappeared. NDTV swooped down on Gudiya as did all the other news channels delirious for sound bytes. They dragged her family members into studios and thrust mikes into her face demanding, “Which husband do you choose?” - anything to feed our voracious voyeuristic appetite. Poor Gudiya really didn't have a choice, the Shariyat and the media did the choosing for her.

Anyway to cut a long story short, Gudiya committed suicide. I daresay the inhumane media coverage was one of the not-so-insignificant factors that drove Gudiya to desperation. Her death wasn’t deemed newsworthy enough. It found a mention in annews column on the 10^th page of a daily.

Bhotmange, whose family was brutally killed, doesn’t want a Government job, he wants the murderers hanged. But then, he is a poor Dalit who dared to send his children to school and college, and who dared to dream of a better life.

I really don’t know what we can do to change the system or rid India of a deep rooted social malaise. Writing about it in a psuedo Mulk Raj Anand-Raja Rao way is all we ever seem to do – and that includes me. Is action being taken, I am not sure – the media isn’t covering it anymore you see.

‘The Untouchable’ by Mulk Raj Anand tells the story of a single day in a young boy’s life. He cleans latrines only because his father does. An extremely sensitive portrayal Bakha wonders ‘Do people consider us dirty just because we do dirty work?’

An Indian Fantasy

2006-10-27T21:34:00.000+06:00

I am hooked to Ashok Banker’s RAMAYANA series; appropriately I was on Book 6 KING OF AYODHYA a day before Diwali. I never thought an Indian could handle the action fantasy genre but Banker is surprisingly good and so is the editing. I spotted just two copy errors. Spread out over six books. Honestly, I am floored.

My pseudo-religious fervor nicely balances out with Bill Bryson’s THE LIFE AND TIMES OF THE THUNDERBOLT KID. Absolutely hilarious, Bryson is a riot! Being an American kid in the 50’s isn’t all that different from being an Indian kid in the 70’s – after all 1950’s (all-American) conveniences were just about trickling into India of the 70’s.

Diwali was spent in a haze of smog and condensation in Hyderabad. We didn’t burst any crackers and thriftily gaped at our neighbours’ dazzling firework display. Also spent Diwali mulling over past misdeeds and decided I would get around to writing a detailed Andaman’s report that would help clueless wannabe travelers for eons to come..or as long as the WWW stays put. Will be up soon on my other blog.

Information on the Andamans (and I mean sensible travel friendly useful info) is hard to come by. Besides I harbor tender hopes that my blog pops up on a google search if I tap this rich vastly unmined territory. There is no such thing as a Good Samaritan.

About the RAMAYANA Series
Fed on a staple diet of Amar Chitra Kathas and telly Ramayana (which I watched with quiet fanaticism) Banker’s version is a treat - a fast-paced graphic thriller if you will pardon my French. He has culled together Valmiki and Tusidas’ versions among others and I for one never knew that each retelling was so different. Tulsidas portrays Sita as a sobbing half-wit while Valmiki’s version praises her as a strong-willed princess. The infamous Lakshman Rekha is not mentioned in Valmiki’s version at all. Go figure!! For more visit Banker's Blog

Andamans Ups and Downs!!

2006-10-12T16:11:00.000+06:00

The days of unlimited connectivity and superior speeds are over. I am stuck with a crumbly 20 hours account and am resigned to horde my previous minutes and count micro-seconds. Hopefully that explains why I never got around to making an Andamans posting. Will gradually get around to a more detailed posting on my other blog and meanwhile here is our trip in a nutshell. Pics up on http://coorgbreak.blogspot.com/

We just had 8 days in all and that was about 22 days too short:) I recommend Havelock and Redskin and a whole bunch of other places I couldn’t visit to anybody who loves the sea and snorkelling and diving. If you can’t swim. It’s not worth it…really.

Up: The roads from Vizag to Chennai: Smooth!!!!!
Down: The stretch where traffic was diverted – apparently hay dries best on highways

Up: Air Deccan
Down : The In-flight pamphlet they have the temerity to call a menu.

Up: We congratulate ourselves on grabbing seats on the left side. You get the best views from there.
Down: The view is obscured by clouds and visibility is 2 inches from my nose.

Up: Gorgeous, gorgeous Andamans awaits
Down:As do we –for the blessed ferry.

Up: Havelock all the way!!!! Our islander tout is super efficient.
Down: Only two places on the island accept Credit Cards. Both are appropriately ultra-expensive.

Up:Havelock’s Beach No 7. Firangs and calendar perfect views abound.
Down:Havelock’s Radhanagar Beach. Bongs and squalling kids abound.

Up:Havelock Stay - Eco Huts, Wild Orchid, Bay View… Barefoot for its aesthetic appeal.
Down:Barefoot Jungle Resort: 4 grand for a night and cornflakes for breakfast?

Up:Cellular Jail by day
Down: Cellular Jail by Night. It rained and rained and rained - they restarted the show thrice.'

Up: Ross Island and RedSkin: The fall of the Raj and awesome snorkelling respectively
Down: Jolly Buoy: Mostly coz it was closed for 6 months.

Up:The New Lighthouse at Port Blair
Down: The Taj - a Seafood Buffet and only fish on the menu

Up: Mt. Harriet, the breathtaking, amazing panoramic view
Down: The leeches you carry along with you to the top

Up: Elephant Bay on Havelock…the best place to sight coral and this gigantic fish that freaked me out (it wasn 't a ray)
Down: The hike to Elephant Bay: 2 kms of mud till my kneecaps. No one told us not to try this in the wet season.

On a parting note, it was SO WORTH IT and I will be back:) Couldn't dive and snorkelling was a bit of a downer coz it was cloudy. Second time luckier perhaps?!

Andamans Dreamin'

2006-09-19T21:54:00.000+06:00

Yesterday I played out my ultimate fantasy. If you are expecting the perfect orgasm or something, this is the part where you start feeling cheated.

This is my blog and my fantasy so here goes - Girl, alone. In a bookstore. With unlimited cash. And it gets juicer..she can pick up anything she wants, no holds barred.

I sort of give back to the community (or so I pretend) by volunteering at a local library once a week and being the only volunteer with a yen for books I was given the awesome responsibility of stocking it up! Five hours of all the books I ever wanted. Heaven!!

Anyway from one strata of the heavenly kingdom to another. All plans to the Andamans are on, tentative travel schedule on ROAD TRIPPING:: COORG AND BEYOND.

Car still at the cleaners. Drat and double drat. Should be getting it by Thursday. Please pretty please or it will be a bumpy ride by bus to Chennai.

Smashed Cars

2006-09-17T14:18:00.000+06:00

After having driven 8000 kms cross country over the worst terrain possible, our car gets smashed 800 metres from our house. The irony of it!

Ah well, the dreaded “new-car-meets-with-its-first-accident” jinx has been lifted. Anyway, to cut a long story short, Insurance is covering it and we might just make the weekend drive to Chennai - A place I abhor and try my best to avoid. But a necessary evil. Flights to Port Blair operate from there.

This year has been a rather strange one. After hitting rock bottom at the beginning of the year, and well, pretty much getting smashed (not THAT way) I figured I might as well do stuff I have been talking about for years but never got around to doing. Coorg, the MA, the Andamans…it’s all working out and to think it took a whole lot of wallowing in despair to get till here.

I can’t stand ‘self-help-masquerading-as-fiction’…but funnily enough one such book I did happen to read (mostly on account of no other books behind around) does spring to mind. Veronika Decides To Die. Not an earth-shattering read but the concept got to me. Honestly, it does take a nasty upset and then some, to get you moving. It’s a necessity; maybe it has something to do with evolution…minus that occasional high dose shot of despair the species would stagnate.

Having been to Lakshadweep, I can't wait to get to the Andamans. Will be doing a thorough recci - diving, snorkelling spots etc. So if anybody is interested to know more...mail me when I get back. All details will be uploaded on my psuedo-Travel Blog. Travel tips welcome!

Mocking Bird

2006-09-07T17:07:00.000+06:00

I cried when I lost TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD. It was this battered old edition with a yellow cover and my father's name neatly printed in his careful hand on the front page. I have read that book at least 6 times and each time I see a bit of my life in a forgotten paragraph.

Maybe it had something to do with my dad being Atticus and me being Scout. Or perhaps it had something to do with the fact that Boo Radley lived down the road, a horrific Down Syndrome afflicted boy who would insist on lunging at us terrified kids. He wanted to be friendly, we didn’t know any better. Not until the kids from A Block threw stones at Faran. Then he was one of us.

We fought his battles for him. He never understood local politics. B Block and A Block were separated by a rift - a scary boy shaped rift. I wonder if Faran went back to Afghanistan and remembers the rag tag bunch of kids who trailed him, scurrying away the moment he came lumbering towards them. If I were him, I would want to forget us, never mind the bloody battles and the black eyes.

My Dad is Atticus, he still is, he always will be.... my friend says every girl thinks her dad is Atticus. Not every girl reads, so I know he is wrong. My dad is as reasonable as Atticus and never forced me to do a thing, he just explained the consequences, the decision was mine and he respected it.

There are some books that make you cry, and some make you remember and well some are so stupid you wish the publishers had sensibly burn the manuscript before unleashing the monstrosity on an unsuspecting public that judges a book by its cover.

To Kill a Mockingbird is different, it's a biography of every adult on the face of the planet. Every adult who was a kid once and forgot what being a kid is about. The Soviet Books and Harper Lee do have something in common, they hit home. You know what sort of a grown-up you ought to be.

Who Needs Crabby Poetry

2006-08-28T16:59:00.000+06:00

There is something about kids’ poetry that grabs me. For starters it is almost always funny and as far as I can make out the poet is not a pretentious twat. And even if he is, he is pretty darned good at not coming across as one. Though some poetry is fairly dark – Nash for instance.

Honestly what is with these wannabe poets who insist on bombarding the world with their crabby cribs? Am I interested in your shitty upbringing and Freudian complexes? I should hope not. I have problems of my own and these I write in a ridiculous outdated diary that will never be publicly unveiled let alone find its way into a blog.

Seriously unless you have a medical condition that requires community help, spare me. If you have to kill yourself, I advise electrocution.

Silly rhyme favourites: Shel Silverstein, Lewis Carroll, Ogden Nash and a whole lot more. And if we ever get to books : HH Munroe (SAKI) and Oscar Wilde any day of the year. And yes I do read Eliot and Shakespeare’s sonnets mostly because I have my second year MA to complete. Check my previous post. I never did find Wodehouse witty - silly yeah. Sue me.

I'll share your toys, I'll share your money,

I'll share your toast, I'll share your honey.

I'll share your milk, and your cookies too,

The hard part is sharing mine with you.

Celery, raw

Develops the jaw,

But celery, stewed,

Is more quietly chewed.

© Ogden Nash

Pluto Demoted

2006-08-25T12:10:00.000+06:00

It's official now, Pluto has been demoted, stripped of its elite planetary status. (See Previous Post) Lumped with the lowly, Pluto now bears the title of the politically incorrect 'dwarf' planet.

My Very Educated Mother can heave a sigh of relief, she will not be pointing out dwarf planets like Pluto, Charon, the aesteroid blah blah in the near future.

For the moment 'My Very Educated Mother Just Showed Us Nine'.