The Interacticon

Bing—It's Google, just five years late

2009-06-30T12:21:00.003-04:00

God bless Microsoft! They know a good idea when they see one—especially if they didn't think of it. That's what makes Bing so fascinating. It's basically Google, just five years after the fact.

I absolutely love how boringly reactive and inconsequential they have become since Bill Gates got married and basically stopped giving a sh*t.

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Not Satisfied to Ruin Little Boys' in Life, Jackson Ruins Twitter in Death

2009-06-26T17:22:00.002-04:00

After finally dropping dead. After ruining children's lives with his perversion. The Michael Jackson destruction train chugs on in death. In other words: Twitter traffic related to MJ death so high it brought down their servers and Facebook's too.

Doubt it's true, just trying to get in on the story probably but still that Jackson always F'ing something up. Burn baby burn.

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Crispin In It For Themselves As Usual: Burger King Be Damned

2009-06-24T14:31:00.002-04:00

Well it's the same old story all over again for the boys at Crispin—win a ton of awards, do squat for your clients.

Today Advertising Age reported that while CP&B's partnership with Burger King has won them almost every award available including a Grand Effie last month, the agency has not been able to substantially move the needle for Burger King in terms of sales OR vis a vis their main competitor McDonald's.

But hey, why have a viable business when you can have a subservient chicken instead? Thieves.

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George W. Bush Declared Winner of Iranian Election

2009-06-22T08:10:00.003-04:00

In a shocking turn of events, the Iranian Guardian Council, who today reviewed the results of the hotly contested Iranian Presidential elections, announced that after throwing out over 3 million questionable ballots, the winner of the vote, inexplicably was George W. Bush.

No stranger to rigged elections, Mr. Bush was notably pleased with the outcome of the inquiry even though he was not on the ballot and no one voted for him. In a brief statement Bush said, "The people have spoken...in Farsi. "

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The Cyber Fog of War: Brought to You By Twitter

2009-06-21T11:03:00.002-04:00

The cyber world moves fast. In both good and bad directions. Just as protesters in Iran are using Twitter as their de facto news outlet, passing thousands of links daily to video of the ongoing unrest, it seems the Iranian government too has taken to Twitter to tell their side of the story.

Though unconfirmed by the Iranian government, a number of increasing obvious propagandist links and opinions are beginning to pop up on Twitter creating a cyber fog of war where the truth behind any post can no longer be trusted.

This is a critical crossroads in social media as now one must wonder whether any link can be trusted, and in a forum where the rule of social conduct was explicitly based on trust, Twitter as a news outlet becomes a kind of CraigsList, a place to delved into carefully for fear of sham, hustle and sometimes dangerous lie.

The alternatives for Twitter are few. Policing the site would spell its quick and certain death. Allowing the site to be co-opted by organs of corrupt regimes, tolls a similar death knell. It remains to be seem what the outcome will be, but surely social media, either way will have suffered a major blow.

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Spaces: Crap App

2009-06-17T08:54:00.003-04:00

Spaces, an application that comes as part of the Apple operating system, made a simple promise: I will turn your one screen into four screens by letting you assign different programs to different screens and then toggle between them.

Sounds, fantastic! Doesn't it?

And it would be if it worked. But as it happens all Spaces ends up doing is thinking it has more RAM than it has and ruining your life by crashing Word, iTunes, Acrobat and Firefox every time you do the back and forth. Demon app! How dare you close Word on me just because I don't want to listen to Adam Ant (playing from iTunes on another screen.)

And how dare you Adam Ant put out crappy music to begin with!

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Where Do Protesters Get Their Rocks?

2009-06-16T11:26:00.003-04:00

This image is from the protests taking place in Iran. As you can see this nice gentleman in the foreground is about to hurl a rock. Question for you: where did the rock come from?

Was it in his briefcase? Are there rocks laying around on the streets of Tehran? Is there a Rock Store you can go to?

I work in Manhattan and short of going to Central Park with a shovel, I can't think of a single place I could find a throwing quality stone.

I would like probably just throw up. You know how I am around crowds.

Supreme Court Acts Like a Bunch of Italians

2009-06-09T09:28:00.002-04:00

As a way of getting into the groove of the Italian way of doing things, the Supreme Court has slowed down the merger of Chrysler and Fiat by granting three Indiana parties a stay until the case can be further reviewed.

American news sources state this move may jeopardize Chrysler's fragile bankruptcy. What they don't understand is that going slow/not moving at all IS EXACTLY THE WAY Italians like to do business.

This is not a problem. It's just a sign of things to come.

Ciao for now.

Sh*tvertizing Brought to You by Google

2009-06-08T16:51:00.002-04:00

The above is an ad I found on Google, by Google.

Apparently, the company known for its groundbreaking technological innovations is not known for its advertising creativity.

Guess no one there ever saw the Geico ad with the eyeballs on a stack of money.

What crap.

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Now Solving Global Warming

2009-06-08T14:07:00.002-04:00

The picture above is just a picture above. But I needed something for visual impact.

Here's the way to end global warming: personal carbon tax.

Just like companies have carbon credits and debits, each person will have a personal carbon tax based on their electric bill, their automobile (in addition to the gas guzzler tax), boat, motorcycle, and anything else we can figure out to make it economically unpleasant to dirty up the world.

You watch once it costs less to be clean than be a pig, the world will be smog free in about a minute flat.

One Earth, play nice.

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Chinese Government: Gang of Jerks

2009-06-04T16:24:00.003-04:00

Not content to block the internet, Chinese officials took the additional steps of blocking Tiananmen Square itself from tourists, pedestrians, and especially foreign journalists—whom they sent packing with particular vigor—all to prevent the chance occurrence of demonstrations in commemoration of the murders that took in the Square 20 years ago.

Dude, these folks are ill, twisted totalitarian thugs. They have no right to build Hummers or buy U.S. Treasury bills. Am I the only one who is completely peeved at them?

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Having Learned Nothing, Microsoft at it Again

2009-06-04T11:38:00.003-04:00

Having learned absolutely nothing from the Zune debacle, Microsoft ventures a day late and a dollar shy into the world of social networking with Vine.

Guaranteed it will suck.

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China and Google—Mean People

2009-06-03T08:32:00.005-04:00

This image is known everywhere around the world EXCEPT in China, where it was shot. That's because the Chinese government has blocked all images of Tank Man, as the photograph has come to be known, from the internet.

What's worse companies like Google have AGREED not to make the image available in China—in exchange for which they get a bite at China's 3 billion consumers.

This is the grossest, most reprehensible example of selling your soul I have ever seen. Dudes, this is real life and real people are really dying. All the money in the world will not wash their blood off your hands.

Hope you can live with yourselves.

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From The Department of No Duh Part 2

2009-05-31T19:36:00.003-04:00

Today the New York Times reported that marketers are actually using analytics to determine the effectiveness of online ads! Imagine that the 50 year old SCIENCE of Direct Response became news TODAY!

What will they think up next, those wacky MAD MEN? Calculations for ROI? CPA? The possibilities are endless. Morons.

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Why The Guys At Google Are Not As Smart As They Say They Are

2009-05-26T10:40:00.004-04:00

I'll give you twenty bucks if you can tell me what the above ads have to do with Chinese auto manufacturing? Right they have the word Chinese in them!

See the geniuses at Google figure anytime the word Chinese shows up in a post, it must be about food. Thank God it's pay per click or I would say a whole lot of advertisers are getting ripped off by a bunch of very dumb Ivy League programmers.

Can't wait to see what ads show up next to this post. Liposuction? Dancing with the Stars?

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Hello Nevis? It's Me. Your New Citizen.

2009-05-18T12:24:00.004-04:00

For the man who has everything, here's something new and unusual—citizenship in a small Caribbean nation for only $35,000 to $70,000 dollars. Here's what your money buys you:

Now if you take citizenship as seriously as I do, I'm sure you'll agree that having the "privacy to conduct your affairs as if your life belonged to you" is what being a Nevin (or is it Nevite?) is all about.

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U.S. Auto Bail Out Money Headed to China?

2009-05-13T11:08:00.003-04:00

Okay, so get this. Guess how GM is going to use its bail out money? They're gonna use it to import cars from China. Get that? FROM CHINA!!!!

So basically they outsource manufacture of GM cars to China—that means the Chinese get our bail out money—and we get sh*tty GM cars made a little sh*ttier cause they are now MADE IN CHINA.

Does this make sense to anyone?

On the bright side of course, all new Chevy's come with a choice of wonton soup or dumplings.

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Wheel to Wheel, Start to Finish Formula 1 on Sirius

2009-05-08T15:09:00.003-04:00

Now this is what I'm talking about. A fine and proper use of technology to bring the pinnacle of motor sports to the masses—Sirius broadcasts of every race of the 2009 Formula One Championship on channel 126.

What does this mean? While millionaire drivers race around at 200 plus mph, you get to race around in your car and try not to break every speed limit possible in a V6 station wagon. Will listen to my first broadcast this Sunday as I resplendently drive home from Fall River, MA.

Tune in, turn it up and drive!

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Hey, How About Someone Buy The Interacticon

2009-05-06T08:35:00.004-04:00

Okay explain this one to me--- Apple rumored to be in talks to buy Twitter.
TWITTER-The company that can't hold on to users, can't show a profit, and is basically boring!

Unless the geniuses at Apple have a plan that somehow transforms the site functionality into a profit center, I have no idea how this is a good idea. In fact, come to think of it, if Apple is into buying sites that can't hold on to users, can't show a profit and are basically boring, why not buy The Interacticon?

It fits all the criteria and I promise to step down as CEO as a condition of the sale. But hurry, I sense a bidding war is on the way.

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Twittering Away

2009-05-04T08:50:00.004-04:00

With 70% attrition rates, as reported by Nielson online, dragging down the next big thing in social media, it's not too long before Interactivists the world over start asking themselves, "Well, is this all there is?"

Clearly, Twitter is at a crossroads and with it, so too, are the technogeeks who first embraced it. If you can't get past the ardent technophile to the casual user how ever will you make a dime? The Interacticon thinks you won't.

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VW-Very Weird

2009-05-04T08:14:00.002-04:00

VW and their agency CP&B explain spending media dollars on Facebook as follows:

"Why Facebook? "'More and more consumers are selling products for us," says Charlie Taylor, general manager for VW's digital marketing. "Social media and word of mouth is much less about brochure downloads and more about brand awareness."'

Huh? No tracking? No lead generation? No...nothing? Nice way to get around accountability. In one sentence all of social media reduced to a banner ad. I wish I had their jobs.

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MOMENTUM BUILDING: Interacticon has first follower

2009-04-29T14:44:00.003-04:00

Thank You Bsport1!

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Basically, Updating Blog is Pain in Butt

2009-04-13T13:27:00.002-04:00

In the clearest admission yet that blogs are basically a cry for help and that if you don't need help you don't update your blog, I am not updating the Interacticon. Just sayin'.

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From the Department of "No Duh"

2009-03-10T09:23:00.004-04:00

You gotta hand it to the guys at the International Monetary Fund, nothing slips by those smarty pants. And let's give it up to the BBC for putting this story on the front page.

Me personally I thought the recession was a local thing that would blow over in a couple of weeks if everyone just stopped talking about it. Guess I was wrong.

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The Facebook Fiasco

2009-02-18T08:35:00.002-05:00

Facebook’s aborted attempt to roll their intellectual property rights tanks into the Prague of social networking was quickly and succinctly retracted today after what one can only consider, on Facebook’s side, unexpectedly vociferous resistance.

The premise of Facebook’s change to its terms of use was simple: You post it, Facebook owns it. The reach and scope of such a change was much more complex. Aside from the obvious ownership which Facebook would have taken of the personal information: email, telephone, home address—presumably with an eye toward selling such information to marketers, the move signaled a recognition on the part of Facebook of the inherent value in the video, images and opinions posted on the site and their desire to own this content. Put simply this means that if a news outlet posts video of a historic event on Facebook, Facebook immediately and forever owns that video and can do whatever it likes with it. A scary proposition.

Social networks were developed based on a handshake model of participation. Facebook allows you to post your content in exchange for which, presumably, you look kindly on the ads Facebook puts up next to your content. This is the low margin, high volume approach that made Google gazillions, but as the recent property grab attempt by Facebook would imply, it hasn’t had the same return for Facebook. One media analyst for Fox News Networks, who spoke to me on the condition of anonymity, laid it out as follows:

“Facebook has basically been letting you store stuff in their attic for free in exchange for you looking at their ads. Well, they aren’t making money off the ads, so they’ve decided to raid the attic in hopes of finding a Van Gogh up there among all the birthday pictures and status updates.”

Indeed, the Facebook move brings into clear focus two important issues surrounding social media:

1-Social media are built on trust between users and the site. Absent that trust social media, like all aspects of society fail.

2-Facebook has still not figured out how to make money by being an electronic town square and is desperate to fix their broken model before the vagaries of a down economy come their way and, well, turn them down.

The implication for both casual users and corporate users, who spend untold sums cultivating evanescent online relationships, is chilling. No longer can one look at Facebook or its many similars as safe havens or public fora. From now on, as Facebook has made abundantly clear, all users must post at their own risk and carefully consider the degree to which they really want to lose control of their content and information, whether it be valuable or, as in most cases, valueless.

Similarly, it spells the end of the innocence in social media. No longer is it a benign partner in the exchange of information, henceforth it must be viewed as a corporate entity like any other, veiling its iron fist behind an increasingly soiled lace glove.

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