Sage & Thyme

This Story Has Been Told

2008-04-01T11:43:00.003-04:00

The last page has been turned at Sage & Thyme. The story as it was has been told. I've no more words to say in this venue.

I've moved. I've started a new book.

If you care to follow where I'm going, please join me here.

On The Road I Have Yet to Travel....

2008-03-30T09:50:00.007-04:00

This is a sketching journal that I altered for myself last night.

I was sitting in the darkness for earth hour last night, trying to read by candlelight. I gave up on the book and used the hour to reflect and think about where I am, what I want, what I'm doing. I believe the book "helped" me to do this. Susan Vreeland's "The Forest Lover" is about Emily Carr. I have never been a fan of Emily Carr's work. Her impressionist style, her depiction of the native forest, the totems has always seemed dark and filled with doom. Which is some of what she was trying to convey - the death of a culture, at the same time she was looking for the vibrancy in the nature surrounding her. The woman travelled, at a time in history where women did not travel alone let alone to places in the back and beyond -- that were uncivilized in terms of our culture. The thought kept running through my mind that this woman lived her dream. She chased it, she pursued it and she was persistent.

And it came to me...I'm spending so much time sitting here at this computer talking about and writing about life instead of being "out there" and living it and doing it and being it. In fact, I haven't been true to myself. So me, myself and I decided it's time we did something about that.

So I will be traversing the road I've yet to travel, making discoveries along the way. I expect I will be here from time to time to journal and talk, to think out loud. I may not be visiting on a regular basis. And I may be there and not leave a comment. I'm making no "plans". I am living truly "in the moment" where my dreams will take me. Closing comments on this one. If you need to reach me, you know where to find me.

Random Nostalgia

2008-03-29T15:39:00.008-04:00

Ivory soap -- 99 44/100% pure -- it floated in the bath. I didn't care for the smell but it was fun soap to use in the bath. I even had it dragged under my teeth once or twice for using "bad" language.

Ivory soap flakes for the laundry -- I remember that smell very clearly. And how "sticky" those flakes were. My mother used this one almost religiously.

Sponge toffee -- oh I love me some sponge toffee. One of my favourite treats to buy as a kid -- it would just melt on your tongue..and even that hard part, like the heel of a loaf of bread -- even that part was ggggooooooooddddd!!

With the advent of the Crunchie bar -- I knew I had found heaven -- sponge toffee and chocolate -- matter of fact, it was so much on the brain today I treated myself to one while grocery shopping.

What does any of this have to do with anything? Absolutely nada. Rien. Not a thing. Just thinking out loud.

Where Life is Full

2008-03-28T08:18:00.006-04:00

I look at this image and I say that the glass is half full. I would never dream of it being half "empty". I was raised in an environment that viewed the world as empty, I lived within a world that could have given me that same perspective. My mother, bless her heart, lived within that vision -- she was surrounded by words that constantly told her this was so. At a time when she herself was drowning, she threw me a life line by making sure that I knew that the world was full, whether she believed that or not, that when the liquid in the glass lowered, it was still half full. I believe that both of my parents wanted to believe that the glass was half full, yet here were two people who through life experience allowed themselves to remain empty.

Optimism vs. pessimism. Is this the way we are born, our nature vs. our nurture? I believe it is our nature because for all of the times I have been surrounded by those with pessimissitic natures, I have never succumbed to that belief.

Life is like that. It starts out full and as the years pass, we lose a little each year in time, but with the experience, the joys and the sorrows, the pleasures and the pain, we see the water in the glass decrease, yet remain "full" in so many other ways. I don't look back at what I have lost or what has been used already -- I look to what I still have to savour and enjoy. Life for me, will continue to be "full" until the very last drop has been drunk.

....Where Strength Is Born...

2008-03-27T08:38:00.003-04:00

Isn't it "funny" how thoughts will come back to you of specific instances or situations. Something that at the time appeared to be one thing, and yet looking back you see so many other angles to it. As children, because we don't have the knowledge, life is so one-dimensional.

I keep thinking about a situation that took place when I'd have been 4-5 years old. My father was a very unhappy man. He led a very unfulfilled life and I believe that he was emotionally crippled. At the time of my childhood, he just seemed frightening, demanding, controlling and abusive. I know much more about my past now, the things I'd hidden from myself, but obviously at the time I was very aware of what was going on.

For some reason, most likely just because I could, just because I wanted to -- pay back, retribution, my own need to "hurt", I took his rubber galoshes, those ones they always refer to as "toe rubbers" and hid them in the laundry hamper. Not because I didn't want him to leave (though there was always that push-pull within my heart of wanting him to leave forever and fear of what would happen if he did), but because I suppose I know I had taken something from him that he needed, much as he had taken so much from me -- without permission.

I remember very clearly my father needing to go out (who knows where) and being unable to find the toe rubbers. He looked everywhere, my mother looked everywhere and both continued to ask me if I knew where they were (my sister would not have been old enough to be responsible for this). It was obvious that the only other person who would know, who would be responsible for this mysterious disappearance would be me. A frantic search continued because of course all of this made my father late for wherever it was he needed to be. I remember a very wild sense of exhilaration and victory!

I stood my ground of innocence and lack of knowledge -- for a very, very long time. My mother finally convinced me to "come clean" but by this point I was afraid...because I expected, quite naturally, that there would be retribution. She retrieved the rubbers and off went my father.

I don't recall whether or not there was a punishment for this. Neither of them could understand, so they said, why I had done this somewhat "crazy" thing -- I recall them saying that it was a little prank but why. With what I know now, I didn't need to tell either of them "why". I believe they both knew. That was me, standing up for myself. Me being too strong willed to "control" and letting them know -- it would take much much more than either of them to "break me".

It makes me realize that what some might consider stubbornness to me is really strength of character and purpose and a will that will not be beaten into submission. It would still take more than either of them to break me -- not even cancer was capable of doing that. And for all of the "bad" that my father heaped upon me, it was a blessing in disguise because it truly made me the person that I am today.

The True and Outstanding Adventures of the Hunt Sisters

2008-03-26T08:30:00.005-04:00

Feeling a bit "icky"yesterday (sinus, flu, something just not right), I spent the afternoon curled up with a book which I found hard to put down.

Elisabeth Robinson wrote "The True and Outstanding Adventures of the Hunt Sisters" in the form of letters, emails and faxes and told a wonderful story of family, friendship, marriage, flaws and failings, hopes and dreams, death and dying. I chose the book because I loved the cover...and discovered treasure within it's pages. I read it as the older sister and found so much truth, which brought more understanding of my own younger sister. Things I wish I had known "then", but that we generally don't know and can't know until "now".

The last letter in the book is from younger sister Madeline to older sister Olivia and it brought much needed tears to my eyes.

It amazes me that reading a book can touch my heart and bring forth tears...much needed tears. Tears are not always for sadness or for joy. They are for cleansing and it seems I have needed cleansing...and still do.

A Little Golden Nostalgia

2008-03-25T10:53:00.003-04:00

I was reading the latest edition of Mary Englebreit's Home Companion yesterday afternoon and there was an article about a man who collects Little Golden Books. What a jolt of memory! I put the magazine down and finished my tea thinking about all of the lovely Little Golden Books I had as a child.

It seemed like every time we went grocery shopping (which would have been weekly), or perhaps once a month (but it seemed like more often), I would be allowed a treat. There was a rack in one of the aisles at the A&P that held the lovely Little Golden Books and that was where I would stand and browse and think about which lovely would be going home with me that day. My sister would be choosing candy, and I was choosing words. My love of books, words and reading began at a very early age. And continues to this day.

I had a wonderful collection of these books though it's any guess which landfill holds them now. So many lovely titles and yet this one, that I found at betsyvintage.com was one of my favourite stories -- and still is to this day. It's such a simple story, yet so true, so meaningful.

I loved the golden spine, I loved the fly leaf where you could write or print your name in the scrolled box. And the price!! 25 cents!! Oh my, those were the days!!

Forgetting to Breathe

2008-03-24T10:28:00.010-04:00

I realized today that I'm not breathing. Rather scary. I'm taking in air, but I'm not breathing. It seems I'm "holding my breath" more than I am inhaling and exhaling. I'm not sure what I'm waiting for, why I'm holding on to air, taking in only little bits at a time, hording it and being so shallow with it. And it's giving me a headache....a true lack of oxygen to the brain...

I seem to forget to breathe. I seem to forget how wonderful it feels to inhale it with my whole being. To use my lungs, to let them expand and contract and give my body all of the oxygen it needs. Why am I being so stingy with air? I deserve as much of it as I can take.

It must be psychological. That "holding in" of what I have. That "waiting for something to happen" and being poised as if ready to run.

I've been doing this for some time. It was only this morning that I realized "I'm not breathing" as I should.

Making note to self -- be conscious, be aware -- inhale deeply, exhale slowly...repeat 1 million times per day.

An Important PSA About Your Heart

2008-03-23T09:34:00.004-04:00

My friend Nancy recently had quite a scare with her health and thankfully, if not completely "well" from what was hurting and alarming, she knows at least that she has not suffered a heart attack. Nancy posted the following message, which is something that all women should be made aware of. Thank you Nancy -- for posting it. I know you won't mind that I have pinched it for others to read.

FEMALE HEART ATTACKS

Women and heart attacks (Myocardial
Infarction).

Did you know that women rarely have the same dramatic
symptoms that men have when experiencing heart attack...you know, the sudden
stabbing pain in the chest, the cold sweat, grabbing the chest and dropping to
the floor that we see in the movies.

Here is the story of one woman's
experience with a heart attack.

I had a completely unexpected heart
attack at about 10:30 PM with NO prior exertion. NO prior emotional trauma that
one would suspect might have brought it on. I was sitting all snugly and warm on
a cold evening, with my purring cat in my lap, reading an interesting story my
friend had sent me, and actually thinking, A-A-h, this is the life, all cozy and
warm in my soft, cushy Lazy Boy with my feet propped up. A moment later, I felt
that awful sensation of indigestion, when you've been in a hurry and grabbed a
bite of sandwich and washed it down with a dash o f water, and that hurried bite
seems to feel like you've swallowed a golf ball going down the esophagus in slow
motion and it is most uncomfortable. You realize you shouldn't have gulped it
down so fast and needed to chew it more thoroughly and this time drink a glass
of water to hasten its progress down to the stomach. This was my initial
sensation---the only trouble was that I hadn't taken a bite of anything since
about 5:00 p.m.

After that had seemed to subside, the next sensation was
like little squeezing motions that seemed to be racing up my SPINE (hind-sight:
it was probably my aorta spasming), gaining speed as they continued racing up
and under my sternum (breast bone, where one presses rhythmically when
administering CPR). This fascinating process continued on into my throat and
branched out into both jaws.

AHA!! NOW I stopped puzzling about what was
happening. We all have read and/or heard about pain in the jaws being one of the
signals of an MI happening, haven't we? I said aloud to myself and the cat,
'Dear God, I think I'm having a heart attack!' I lowered the foot rest, dumping
the cat from my lap, started to take a step and fell on the floor instead. I
thought to myself, 'If this is a heart attack, I shouldn't be walking into the
next room where the phone is or anywhere else.......but, on the other hand, if I
don't, nobody will know that I need help, and if I wait any longer I may not be
able to get up in moment.'

I pulled myself up with the arms of the
chair, walked slowly into the next room and dial led the Paramedics. I told her
I thought I was having a heart attack due to the pressure building under the
sternum and radiating into my jaws. I didn't feel hysterical or afraid, just
stating the facts. She said she was sending the Paramedics over immediately,
asked if the front door was near to me, and if so, to unbolt the door and then
lie down on the floor where they could see me when they came in.

I then
laid down on the floor as instructed and lost consciousness, as I don't remember
the medics coming in, their examination, lifting me onto a gurney, or getting me
into their ambulance, or hearing the call they made to St. Jude ER on the way,
but I did briefly awaken when we arrived and saw that the Cardiologist was
already there in his surgical blues and cap, helping the medics pull my
stretcher out of the ambulance. He was bending over me asking questions
(probably something like 'Have you taken any medications?') but I couldn't make
my mind interpret what he was saying, or form an answer, and nodded off again,
not waking up until the Cardiologist and partner had already threaded the teeny
angiogram balloon up my femoral artery into the aorta and into my heart where
they installed 2 side by side stents to hold open my right coronary artery.

I know it sounds like all my thinking and actions at home must have
taken at least 20-30 minutes before calling the Paramedics, but actually it took
perhaps 4-5 minutes before the call, and both the fire station and St. Jude are
only minutes away from my home, and my Cardiologist was already to go to the OR
in his scrubs and get going on restarting my heart (which had stopped somewhere
between my arrival and the procedure) and installing the stents.

Why
have I written all of this to you with so much detail? Because I want all of you
who are so important in my life to know what I learned first hand.

1. Be
aware that something very different is happening in your body not the usual
men's symptoms, but explicable things happening (until my sternum and jaws got
into the act). It is said that many more women than men die of their first (and
last) MI because they didn't know they were having one, and commonly mistake it
as indigestion, take some Maalox or other anti-heartburn preparation, and go to
bed, hoping they'll feel better in the morning when they wake up....which
doesn't happen. My female friends, your symptoms might not be exactly like mine,
so I advise you to call the Paramedics if ANYTHING is unpleasantly happening
that you've not felt before. It is better to have a 'false alarm' visitation
than to risk your life guessing what it might be!

2. Note that I said
'Call the Paramedics.' Ladies, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE!

Do NOT try to
drive yourself to the ER--you're a hazard to others on the road, and so is your
panicked husband who will be speeding and looking anxiously at what's happening
with you instead of the road. Do NOT call your doctor, he doesn't know where you
live and if it's at night you won't reach him anyway, and if it's daytime, his
assistants (or answering service) will tell you to call the Paramedics. He
doesn't carry the equipment in his car that you need to be saved! The Paramedics
do.

Principally OXYGEN is what you need ASAP. Your Dr. will be notified
later.

3. Don't assume it couldn't be a heart attack because you have a
normal cholesterol count. Research has discovered that cholesterol elevated
reading is rarely the cause of an MI (unless it's unbelievably high, and/or
accompanied by high blood pressure). MI's are usually caused by long-term stress
and inflammation in the body, which dumps all sorts of deadly hormones into your
system to sludge things up in there.

Pain in the jaw can wake you from a
sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware.

The more we know, the better
chance we could survive.

Happy Easter

2008-03-21T02:00:00.003-04:00

No comments today. I simply want to wish anyone who reads this the happiest of Easter weekends.

It Has Arrived....

2008-03-20T09:35:00.003-04:00

For winter's rains and ruins are over,
And all the season of snows and sins;
The days dividing lover and lover,
The light that loses, the night that wins;
And time remembered is grief forgotten,
And frosts are slain and flowers begotten,
And in green underwood and cover
Blossom by blossom the spring begins.

Algernon Charles Swinburne (1837–1909)

"English - Please"

2008-03-19T08:21:00.007-04:00

I open my arms to anyone who wishes to come to Canada to make a life. I recognize that my country is a mosaic of many different cultures, religions and peoples. I think this "open door" policy enriches the lives of everyone. Yes, there are times when the cultures that come from other countries clash with one another, and there are "gang wars", problems that they bring with them from their homelands. It happens, but I don't believe that it's the "norm".

But please, for goodness sake, when you come here, learn to speak English. And please, for goodness sake, companies that are hiring immigrants and helping them to integrate into our Canadian way of life (I say that somewhat with tongue in cheek -- we Canadians are so polite we almost bend over backwards to allow others their right to language, religious belief and way of life) -- please take care to hire those who can speak the language and BE UNDERSTOOD. The people that are on the "front lines", those in the community or at reception desks, they represent your company and it leaves a very bad taste indeed when in my own home, in my own English speaking country, I am unable to properly communicate with someone being paid for a service.

My son has a Maths teacher with such a thick accent he is extremely difficult to understand. Maths is complicated enough without having to decipher what is being said...and hoping you are correct. Worse than this is our hesitancy to hurt feelings, to be politically incorrect and say "I'm sorry sir, but I can't understand your accent."

I now have hot water (and what a luxury to take a shower!) -- a simple problem of a pilot light that no longer worked (in a water heater that is a "mere" 6 years old). The most difficult part of the whole procedure was understanding either of the two gentlemen who came to do the repair. One merely nodded at me the entire time and kept saying "hello". The other, who explained the problem and some further work that needed to be done with the tank spoke such broken English, with so few words that I understood, I have very little idea what in fact he told me. It could have been anything, and I nodded, said "I see" and smiled as they left. Enbridge it would appear feels this is "good service". And I wonder. If I spoke "butchered" English, with slang and poor grammar or if I didn't dress properly or present a good image...would I be hired? Double standard comes to mind.

More humorous than anything was me -- making up for the lack in his English by "shouting" as I spoke to him -- as if he had difficulty understanding my English -- or as if he was deaf -- thinking that certainly shouting my words would make our communication "sympatico".

*image from thistledewbooks.com

A Taste of Adversity...

2008-03-18T08:27:00.007-04:00

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant. If we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.

Anne Bradstreet (1612?-1672)

*image originally uploaded to flickr by peaceval 2007

** I had originally posted without a comment section, just to share the quote, but I've heard from at least one person who wanted to comment so I have opened them. Thank you Lynilu ♥ for liking this one -- I thought it perfectly suited to the end of winter (as per the calendar!).

I Can Feel Spring...

2008-03-17T09:28:00.003-04:00

The sun is out, it's still cold, with a sharp bite in the air...but I can hear birds "singing" and I can "feel" spring in the air...it's there!! I choose to no longer see the snow but look beyond it!

A full weekend of being inspired, writing, driving oldest son home from Waterloo and back again, a delicious prime rib roast dinner on Saturday, planning a spontaneous trip to Europe for May (!) and I made a glutton of myself with 3 movies. Feast or famine I think!

I enjoyed "Becoming Jane" and "Elizabeth: Golden Age" but I thoroughly enjoyed and delighted in "The Jane Austen Book Club". I had read the book some time ago and for a nice change, I was pleased with the actors who portrayed the characters.

No hot water in this house since Sunday morning, so I await the repairman to work his magic on the hot water heater. In the meantime, I am a pioneer and heating water on the stove for washing dishes, bathing, etc. It has been quite a treat!

This Is What I'm Waiting For...

2008-03-16T19:08:00.001-04:00

Sage Advice From the Pajama Gardener

2008-03-15T10:40:00.008-04:00

I loved my friend Carleen Brice's first novel "Orange Mint and Honey" and highly, highly recommend it.

While reading her blog yesterday, Carleen mentioned that fellow blogger Shauna Roberts had interviewed her, so I went over to take a peek. An excellent interview -- Shauna asked pertinent and interesting questions and Carleen's answers were gracious and giving.

One comment stood out to me, because this advice applies not just to writing a book and being published, it applies to anything we want or attempt in life ~

"Tell a story that’s important to you, and chances are good it will be important to someone else, and even if you don’t sell it, it will still have been worth your time.

Guard and nurture your dream ferociously. Surround yourself with people who will be supportive, and keep your mouth shut about your goals around haters and naysayers."

Thanks Carleen!

Sage Wisdom

2008-03-14T11:30:00.004-04:00

I'm reading Gail Anderson-Dargatz' Turtle Valley and came across this passage this morning.

"You sift flour not only to get rid of lumps and impurities," said Mom, "but to aerate the flour as well, so you can measure it accurately. Measure unsifted flour and you'll have a dense cake indeed. My mother used to say that time works like that: it not only sifts out the lumps--takes the sting out of events that seemed so painful at the time--but it allows you to measure those events properly, with some perspective."

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I loved playing with my mother's flour sifter when I was a child. Who knew a flour sifter could provide insight into life as well.

A Good Day

2008-03-13T21:36:00.010-04:00

What is a good day? Three friends, three coffees and homemade chocolate chip cookies. Three incredibly dynamic women, who met through bloglandia, who connected on the page and in real life. Trish was one of the first people I met through blogging, followed closely by Beth. It was such a delight to spend a few hours, hours that flew by, talking about life, and salvia among other things, and sharing much laughter while sipping Beth's excellent coffee and eating her delicious chocolate chip cookies.

Thanks ladies -- getting together was the bright spot in this dreary winter. All in favour of spring say "aye"!!

Doors Around the World

2008-03-12T09:53:00.004-04:00

If you feel like staying in today, but taking a trip around the world, check here to see what is happening as people go through "doors" today...from Mexico to England, Australia to Marrakesh...Spain, Russia and Provence...doors and portals are opening around the world.

A Girl Can Never Have...

2008-03-09T18:30:00.006-04:00

A girl can never have too many friends.
A girl can never be too blessed by said friends.
A girl can never have too much snow -- oops I lied. Of course she can!!

For those who haven't had snow and would like some, I give you snow. This is the latest addition to the dumping we've had all winter. May it be the last!!!

Without Obligation

2008-03-08T11:34:00.004-05:00

A new day and new thoughts. I appreciate all the comments, advice and personal experiences that you've shared. It has meant a lot to me to read what others have experienced and what you have discovered as you've journalled and blogged.

Linda's advice and the link to blogging without obligation has been a huge godsend and something that I've read and explored -- and added to my sidebar. Ello, this might be something you might want to check into if you haven't already. When I read this I realized that I had been feeling, to some degree, slight though it is, an "obligation" to do this. Not for anyone else, but for myself. As anyone who has been through a traumatic experience knows, there is a sense of panic perhaps that the "bad thing" might happen again. In my case, while my rational self knows this is not how life works, there is a feeling of "what if" that dances along beside me. I was discussing this with my friend Lois the other day -- the feeling that if I keep running, stay fast, stay ahead of "myself", then cancer won't be able to catch me again. I suspect that there are other people who identify with this "feeling". It's not as strong as making a pact -- "if I do this, you promise not to bother me again", rather a sense of running as fast as I can. Not quite obsessive compulsive. More for me it is a feeling of not wanting to lose the lesson, not wanting to let a chink in my armour. And in reality I know that I won't lose the lesson and there is no armour any longer.

KT, my Katie. You said something that reminded me about "why" I wanted to start blogging in the first place. Yes, it was, is and has been for me to journal, to share, to write, to explore and experience. But I distinctly remember when I started out that my "about me" page included the fact that I hoped to inspire others and that if in sharing my life, my thoughts, my experiences I gave hope or inspiration to anyone else who might read my words, then I would have succeeded in my purpose for being here. Not just in bloglandia. In the world. So to you Katie, thank you for saying that in opening the door at ABreast in the World I allowed you to connect with other breast cancer survivors in a meaningful way. You did me a huge favour in reminding me of this. And saying that blogging is a "treat" you reward yourself with when you have achieved other commitments in your day, you also opened a door for me.

In the past I have been a perfectionist. I have spent countless hours trying to achieve what I thought I needed to do or to be. And I learned over the last three years that it doesn't exist nor is it wise to expect that it does. That has been a huge burden I let go. Obligation though - that is one I appear to still be struggling with so I take on board that I blog without obligation. And extend that to living life without obligation.

Stepping forward into spring -- without obligation. ♥

At the Crossroads

2008-03-07T20:00:00.007-05:00

Life throws so many strange twists and turns. It's like playing "Candyland" or "Snakes and Ladders" or even the game of "Life". How strange is that? You roll the dice and you move a few spaces forward or you move backwards, or you are right back at the bottom of the ladder, landing on your ass at "start".

I've been spreading myself between two mediums -- writing and visual art. And trying to decide "which" am I -- an author or an artist?! I suppose I can be both. I'm still trying to decide if one is stronger than the other. And I empathize with oldest who is now deciding it's time to declare a major and can't decide if it will be History or English -- he loves both and excels at both, but I suspect English will win out. And History will become the minor.

Which has been my main reason for being "silent" here and thinking I need a "time out".

I've been trying to catch up and read everyone I normally visit (and I'm still behind) and what I've been reading over the last few days gives me more pause to think. So many people I've visited are "taking breaks". Almost to a person they have said that it is a break, that they aren't sure they want to keep blogging, that what it started out to be has changed.

I understand that. I've been feeling that way about blogging myself. I started in August of 2007 because I wanted to put my thoughts in a place that I could go back to often. I wanted to be able to journal with graphics and music in ways that I couldn't do in a paper journal. I wanted my friends and family to be able to see where I am on my journey post cancer.

It blossomed from there. People came to read after I had started journeying forth into other people's blogs. I started to make connections with some very wonderful, interesting and enlightening people.

But I admit, there are times when I feel overwhelmed by the process of blogging. I find myself spending so much time reading what other people are thinking and feeling that I am losing touch with my own thoughts and feelings. I don't always post a comment...I read and I post a comment when I have something valid to say.

And I'm now thinking that maybe it is time to take the journal back to the paper. To add my own graphics, to artfully write how I find life and keep that to myself. I can play music while I write.

I am at a crossroads with this. Blogging has given me voice. It has given me strength in my ability to communicate. It has brought me in touch with people I would never have known. I just need to decide in which direction I am going to proceed. I do know that I am enjoying posting at Inspire -- it isn't about talking or wanting other people's input (though I welcome it). It is about finding and discovering things that inspire me and make me feel good. And I love my art and love talking about art. But I am finding now that I am talking more about other people's work, other people's art.

It may just be that it's the end of winter. It may just be that I am coming into spring and rebirth and reawakening.

Time will tell.

Kris Carr's My Crazy Sexy Life

2008-03-06T14:25:00.008-05:00

March 7th

♥ ♥ ♥ PLEASE NOTE: I'VE JUST HEARD FROM CATHY AND SHE GAVE ME THIS ADDITIONAL INFORMATION - THANKS AGAIN CATHY!! ♥ ♥ ♥

It really is a great place. And it is not just for cancer survivors. There
are also caregivers there as well as those who have never had cancer but want a
positive place to share and learn about making life better!

I want to thank Cathy Bueti who posted on her blog about Kris Carr's latest endeavour, My Crazy Sexy Life. This is a "spin off" from Kris' Crazy Sexy Cancer.

My Crazy Sexy Life is a web ring for cancer survivors. There is no cost to join -- the only "cost" having been diagnosed with cancer -- any kind of cancer.

This web ring includes forums, groups and discussion. Any one who joins has a page that is all their own -- a place to blog, to connect, to share photographs, to share life and to share the journey.

A worthwhile endeavour. Please pass this information to anyone you know with cancer. Sadly, I'm going to guess here that just about everyone knows someone with cancer.

Sage Reminders

2008-03-05T10:45:00.009-05:00

I will be back soon, posting and sharing life. I have some things to do, adjustments to make, things I need to straighten out as I come out of this depressive, cold winter. Things I feel driven to do. A visit with the doctor to check on progress, follow up with tests and discuss life as it is has reminded me of a few things, like these tenets of wisdom...

Stepping Out...

2008-03-04T08:38:00.002-05:00

Taking a little break.

*I should explain that this is nothing to do with my health. More of a redesign and a moving forward.

If you are interested, check out my new space at Inspire.