Single Gal In The City

Opening The Vault: Part Sixty

2010-01-06T15:57:00.012-05:00

When it comes to testing the mettle of a relationship, there’s nothing quite like traveling with a significant other. During my first trip back in 1999 with then-boyfriend and dashing Brit David, sharp personality differences emerged.

Sunset in Sedona: My first trip with David included a jeep tour of Sedona’s red rock mountains (January '99)

David and I headed to Arizona to visit college friends for new year’s. I now Open The Vault and take you back to ‘99...

January 2nd, 1999
Scottsdale, AZ

Dear Diary,

David and I are more than halfway into our four-day getaway and, amazingly enough, we’re not sick of each other. In fact, being with him 24/7 is much more fun and romantic than what I’ve experienced with other men.

Okay -- that’s the good part. Since nothing in life is ever perfect, neither is what’s transpired between us during this trip.

David has fallen into the habit of only saying the l-word when we fool around. Compounding my frustration about that are certain comments he’s made over the last few days.

He told me I was being a showoff after I trotted out the video of my on-camera reporting debut to show to our friends. And after I did a provocative karaoke performance, he said curiously--

“I don’t know how you do it.”

Translation; David is a shy person by nature, so he couldn’t fathom how I could get up and sing in front of a large crowd.

I am an outgoing person. Can David, being as reserved as he is, accept that? He says he wouldn’t change me for the world, but his comments this weekend tell a different story.
I love him. But I’m scared of the differences between us.

* * *

January 3rd, 1999

I still think David is the best man that’s ever come into my life. But I fear our differences could become a problem down the road. It was these differences that had me running scared back in October, when I split from D for two miserable days.

Sigh. I could just hear what Mom would say about my overanalyzing. She would tell me to go with the flow and remind me that borrowing trouble from the future will not deplete the supply. As usual, she’s right. If only she were here to tell me that herself.

* * *

David would continue to support me in navigating life without Mom. As I emerged from my grief, though, the dynamic between us would begin to change -- bringing my worst fears to the surface.

When Desire Trumps Etiquette

2010-01-04T18:59:00.009-05:00

In this post-Sex And The City era of dating, it’s not uncommon for etiquette to take a back seat to physical desire. I couldn’t help thinking about this during a recent conversation with fellow single thirty something Ujji.

Ujji mentioned a guy that told her it was over because she wouldn’t perform a certain sexual request of his -- on date #4. Her tale prompted me to share the now-infamous story of H, a 40-year-old real estate attorney I dated briefly with a libido as large as his ego.

H’s inappropriate antics began with sprawling out naked uninvited on my bed at the end of a singles party I hosted -- and continued with repeated attempts to push the envelope physically.

“With anyone else I’ve dated, I would have had sex ten times by now,” he said about 10 days into our ill-fated dalliance.

Later that night at my place, I returned from the bathroom to find H sitting on my couch -- without his pants or underwear on. I was aghast, not to mention anxious from a hygiene standpoint (who knows if scotchgard covers bodily fluids?). The evening was our last for nearly a year, until H resurfaced, exhibiting much greater restraint.

When it comes to physical intimacy, everyone has their own idea for how quickly it should unfold. Call me old fashioned, but I much prefer a timetable that allows plenty of room for romance. Or, at the very least, doesn’t damage the furniture.

Charitable Event Pick: FLI Wine Tasting

2010-01-02T15:26:00.007-05:00

When it comes to perfect pairings, a wine tasting that benefits a worthy cause is the ideal ticket. You can get your drink on and support educational opportunities at The Future Leaders Institute (FLI) Junior Committee’s upcoming wine tasting on Tuesday, January 12th.

The benefit for the charter school will take place from 7-9pm at New York Vintners on Warren Street. Admission is $50, $25 of which is tax deductible. Click here for more info.

A quick editorial note -- Single Gal In The City will be on an every other day schedule this week while I enjoy a little vacation and respite from NYC. Stay tuned for an action-packed January, including visits to the sets of NBC's Today & The Martha Stewart Show!

Ringing In The New Decade

2010-01-01T17:29:00.020-05:00

Last night, galpal Rachel and I headed down to NYC’s Financial District for Lost Girls bloggers/co-authors Amanda and Jen’s fabulous New Year’s Eve bash.

Party Time: Amanda and I celebrating New Year’s

True hostesses-with-the-mostess, Amanda and Jen served up a first-class menu of fun, food and cocktails to the friendly crowd of about 30 people. I now have a new appreciation for vanilla vodka mixed with cranberry, not to mention Amanda’s sinful four-layer dip (cream cheese, refried beans, salsa, and shredded cheddar -- delish).

Rach and I chatted with M-Theory lead singer Courtney about her upcoming gigs and the promise of adventure that this particular new year seems to hold.

The fun really kicked into high gear when my friend Prince and his longtime buddies Eric and Chris showed up.

Good Times: Rachel, Eric, Prince, me and Chris

We shared plenty of laughs, good conversation and hugs all around at midnight.

Later, thanks to medley of Michael Jackson tunes, the ladies and I busted out a few 80’s moves -- including, of course, the “Thriller” routine. Some things you just never forget.

A good friend of mine says how you ring in the new year (and with whom) dictates how the following 365 days are going to unfold. If that’s true, then I can’t wait to see what 2010 has in store!

A Delicious Dinner At Francesco's

2009-12-31T16:58:00.011-05:00

Tuesday night, I headed down to NYC’s West Village for dinner with Italian restaurateur Vito Rappa.

Vito and I met back in November at a charity gala, during which he invited me to check out the newest location of his trattoria, Francesco’s.

Francesco’s: The trattoria’s West Village location serves up a killer penne alla vodka

Francesco’s opened on West 4th Street in March -- the larger Columbus Avenue location has been around since 1998 -- and delivers a delicious menu of pizza and pasta.

“As long as I have pasta, I can live,” Vito says.

Good food is in his DNA. A native of Sicily, Vito learned to cook at age 11. His great-grandfather opened a restaurant in 1901, and was the first to have a taverna in the town of Borgetto. His grandfather would often say pasta is the first step to heaven.

That certainly applies to Francesco’s sublime penne in vodka sauce (a family recipe) and perfectly baked garlic knots. The homemade tiramisu drizzled in chocolate sauce is also a must.

While enjoying my dessert, I ended up chatting with fellow single gals Ayesha and Callie. They shared their new year’s resolutions -- Ayesha is preparing to launch her own handbag line while Callie hopes to make her first trip to Europe.

We all agreed there’s no better time for a fresh start than a new year. Especially when it also marks the start of a brand-new decade.

Happy 2010 everyone!

Girls Day Out: Midtown East

2009-12-30T16:46:00.011-05:00

Tuesday, my friend Bobbi and I enjoyed an afternoon of pampering at Metamorphosis Day Spa in Midtown East.

Hidden away on the fifth floor of an office building, Metamorphosis offers quiet relaxation in a small yet well-outfitted setting. If you’re looking for a full-blown spa experience, though, this isn’t the place for it.

Metamorphosis has only a tiny relaxation room, and there’s no opportunity to unwind in a bathrobe before your treatment. I also had to ask where the shower was -- there’s only one -- so I could rinse off after my massage. That said, the staff is friendly, I thoroughly enjoyed my 50-minute Swedish Massage, and the heated table is a nice touch.

Afterward, Bobbi and I headed over to trendy nearby Italian bistro Serafina. Over a delicious late lunch (the vegetarian lasagna is light and delish), we talked about men who say one thing but do another and our travel plans for 2010.

Bobbi is an avid skier. It’s been about fifteen years since I’ve hit the slopes, so I think I might just have to join her this winter.

Coming up…dinner with a charming restaurateur and ringing in 2010 with The Lost Girls.

The Smart Woman's Guide To Online Dating

2009-12-29T16:18:00.008-05:00

When it comes to candid, common sense talk about sex and dating, nobody does it better than fellow NYC-based blogger Simone Grant. Now, Simone is sharing her wisdom about looking for love in cyberspace in The Smart Woman’s Guide To Online Dating.

Simone Grant demystifies the often-tricky world of online dating in her fabulous e-book (photo courtesy: 2ChicksInc)

Based upon a decade of experience with meeting men online, the e-book covers everything you need to know about Internet dating -- from identifying which dating site is right for you and selecting which photo(s) to include in your profile, to the most effective ways to communicate with potential dates.

Simone shares my view that, if meeting a guy face to face is your end goal, skip the IM/chat function and head straight to email and phone. And, she says, stick to a two-week rule of graduating from initial contact to getting together in person.

If you’re looking to save yourself time and make the most of online dating, this is the guide for you. Click here to get a copy.

An Old Love Resurfaces

2009-12-28T18:08:00.005-05:00

As I mentioned a few days ago, California-based ex Mark (a.k.a Sparky) recently posted a comment here for the first time. Our resulting online exchange and phone conversation got me to thinking about closure and how it’s often a lengthy, multi-step process when it comes to a big love.

Sparky and I hadn’t communicated since June, when work led him to cancel a visit to New York -- the day before he was due to arrive. The episode confirmed for me that, though we once shared something special, it was well past time to let go.

Still, given our long history, I couldn’t help wondering -- Did he regret standing me up last summer? Had he seen what I’ve written about him here on the blog? It turns out the answer to both questions is yes.

Mark apologized profusely for bailing on his scheduled visit, reiterating the remorse he expressed in his comments.

“I think I made the biggest mistake of my life,” he said.

Eventually, we moved onto other, less complicated subjects.

As we filled each other in about career, life, etc., it occurred to me that Mark and I have finally come full circle. After 15 years, we’re where we’re supposed to be -- two people who once shared a great love bonded now by friendship.

No matter how long it takes to get there, closure is always worth the wait.

Finding My Sea Legs Again

2009-12-27T17:24:00.003-05:00

When it comes to things I’m thankful for this holiday season, the healing power of the human body is most definitely one of them.

I’ve been experiencing this particular wonder since a PDA-related fall with PR exec E one month ago. Slowly but surely, my injured leg has been regaining strength.

Last night, I felt like I had finally found my footing again, during -- appropriately enough -- an evening of dancing with E at my favorite SoHo nightspot Canal Room.

Awesome 80’s cover band Rubix Kube had me shaking my booty at full force. I’m in recovery mode today, but haven’t felt this good in weeks. Getting your groove on really is the best medicine.

A Night Out At SD26

2009-12-26T17:51:00.009-05:00

Wednesday night, I headed down to SD26 in NYC’s Flatiron District for galpal Rachel’s 29th birthday celebration.

Cheers: Rach and me at SD26

Located opposite Madison Square Park, SD26 is the perfect combination of swank and low-key friendly charm -- as Rach and I discovered when we informed affable bartender Renato it was her birthday.

He immediately concocted a round of delicious Bailey’s and vanilla vodka-infused shots, insisting they were on the house. Nice.

After a celebratory toast, Rachel and I joined about a dozen of her friends in a cozy anteroom.

IT trainer Angela told me how envious her friends are that she resides in New York, that she has to disabuse them of the notion that life in Gotham is always as it appears in “Sex And The City.”

I also chatted with Noam, a friendly environmental lobbyist-turned-physics professor. We talked about our respective stints in small town USA -- Noam spent years in Maryland while I’ve lived in Bangor, Maine and Southern Illinois. We agreed that New York tends to spoil you for living anywhere else.

There’s still nowhere else I would rather be.

Reconnecting at Christmastime

2009-12-25T17:07:00.015-05:00

One of my favorite parts of the holiday season is reconnecting with loved ones who, for whatever reason, I’ve fallen out of touch with. This year, I’ve been blessed to do that with three men who each hold a special place in my heart.

BFFs: Morty and me at our friend Cristina’s wedding in Boston

The bonding began at my friend Cristina’s fabulous recent wedding, where I caught up with former work husband and dear friend Morty. We hadn’t seen each other in months, but quickly picked up right where we left off -- talking about life, love and the pursuit of professional bliss.

Earlier this week, old flame Steve comforted me with a thoughtful email on the anniversary of my beloved dad’s passing. And made me smile when he asked if my diary entries from our time together will make it onto the blog.

“Do you think you will ever let some of that out of 'The Vault?' ” he wrote. “I will always cherish those memories.”

The feeling is mutual.

Speaking of past loves, the most surprising reconnection happened with California-based ex Mark (a.k.a Sparky). For the first time ever, he posted a comment on Single Gal In The City (click here and scroll down to see our exchange) -- which led to our first conversation in many months.

Up next…more about this latest chapter in the Sparky saga and a festive night out in the Flatiron District.

Merry Christmas All!

Singles Event Pick: New Year's Eve At Stitch

2009-12-24T11:24:00.009-05:00

When you live in the Big Apple, finding a New Year’s event that won’t set you back at least $100 is no easy feat. Thankfully, the folks at Professionals In The City have the answer, with a Singles New Year’s Eve Party that’s only $50 per person.

The party kicks off at 8pm at Stitch, a lively lounge in NYC's Garment District. Ticket price includes light hors d’oeuvres, champagne toast at midnight, party favors, cash bar, creative and interactive activities, DJ & dancing.

There will also be door prizes, along with chances to win free adventures as well as private golf lessons, ski packages and a complete home theatre system.

“Dress to impress,” says the website.

Tickets are $50 if purchased by tomorrow (Friday) at 5pm, and sales for the event will close at 11am on Thursday, December 31st. Click here for more info.

Friends Night Out: T-Bar

2009-12-23T17:30:00.010-05:00

Last night, I caught up with my friend P at trendy T-Bar Steak & Lounge on NYC’s Upper East Side.

T-Bar: This lively, hip eatery is a great spot for drinks or dinner

Over cocktails that included a round of Kamikaze shots, we talked at length about our parents. Yesterday marked the third anniversary of my beloved father’s passing.

Having lost his mother years ago, P understood exactly how I was feeling – and managed to bring a much-needed smile to my face. Raising his glass in a toast, he said--

“To our parents.”

“To our parents,” I repeated.

In talking about my mother and father’s enduring relationship, we eventually got onto the subject of marriage and how we’ve both had opportunities to go down that road with previous significant others – but have no regrets about choosing not to.

P also had me giggling when he mentioned a business meeting that took a most unexpected turn. The reason? His female colleague suddenly went off on a tangent about her affinity for gay porn.

Speaking of surprises, it turned out that my brother Andrew’s former flame, adorable Reese Witherspoon-lookalike Julie, was sitting at the next table. We exchanged pleasantries and Julie said she has a couple of male friends she would like to introduce me to.

That’s the kind of offer that doesn’t seem to come along very often these days, so I happily told her – sign me up!

Up next…when inappropriate advances derail romance and a big love resurfaces.

Your Dream City For Singles

2009-12-22T17:30:00.003-05:00

When it comes to being single and meeting new people, I’m a big believer in shaking up your routine – and there’s no better way to do that than with a change of scenery.

According to SoloTravelPortal.com, nearly 35 million American adults have taken a vacation by themselves. A recent glance at Forbes.com’s 2009 list of the Top 40 U.S. Cities for Singles got me to thinking about the dating scene outside of my hometown – and curious about where other singles would go on the prowl outside of their zip code.

So, Single Gal In The City readers, what do you think? If you could pick any U.S. city (other than your hometown) to explore as a single, which would it be? Post a comment here or email me at SingleGalInTheCity@gmail.com.

Now through January 31st, 2010, everyone who responds will be automatically entered to win a fun and flirty SingleTease t-shirt, and one reader will receive a $15 iTunes gift card.

A Holiday Party

2009-12-21T21:20:00.009-05:00

Friday night, I hosted a dozen friends at my third annual holiday party.

This year, along with the usual spread of cold hors d’oeuvres, I brought in White Castle sliders and pigs in a blanket. Hot comfort food goes a long way when the mercury drops -- even my trainer Crystal was all for the caloric indulgence.

Celebrating The Season: (from left) Cindy, Rachel, me and Jason

Travel was one of the hot topics of conversation. Galpal Cindy and hubby Jason filled me in on their upcoming trip to Costa Rica, while my friend Prince shared his plans to visit Tanzania after the new year. My 2010 travel resolution -- see more of the U.S., especially cities with a happening singles scene.

Fellow dating blogger Lost Plum and I talked about mining the past for material during present romantic droughts, and she also told me about the stalker who wants consent to use her likeness in his upcoming book. Only in New York.

Toward the night’s end, pals Andrea, Rachel and I settled in for some kvetching about singlehood in NYC.

As we shared stories and a few laughs, I was reminded of how lucky I am to have such great friends -- friends who make the holiday season something to celebrate.

What's your favorite part of this time of year?

Opening The Vault: Part Fifty Nine

2009-12-20T12:30:00.011-05:00

When you reach six months in a relationship, it tends to feel like something of a milestone. And never has that occasion been commemorated more memorably than it was back in ‘98 by then-boyfriend David.

Just a few days before Christmas, David surprised me with a grand gesture that literally brightened up my room. I now Open The Vault and take you back to December of 1998.…

December 21, 1998
New York, NY

Dear Diary,

I’m sitting here surrounded by five dozen roses. Yep, that’s right -- 60 roses, in a range of colors from the man I love.

A Sea Of Colors: Some of the 60 roses David gave me for six months together

The flowers were David’s surprise gift to me for our six-month anniversary, an occasion that has reinforced my deepening love and desire for him.

The magical day started with some holiday shopping. As we strolled around holding hands, I suddenly found myself imagining us doing the same -- like 20 years from now.

After stopping at Barney’s on Madison Avenue so David could get a tie for my family’s holiday party, we went back to Dad’s and joined him in the den. D really made the effort to contribute to the conversation. Since he’s on the quiet side, I know that can be difficult for him so it meant a lot to me. So did what happened next.

We walked into my room and I noticed two big, long boxes from a flower company in Canada. I immediately assumed they were from some high school friends of mine in Toronto. Then, with some help from D, I opened them.

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I read the card--

“To the first six months…and to many more. Te quiero con todo mi corazon, David.”

I jumped up and threw my arms around him. I was so surprised!

D tended carefully to each flower, cutting the stems and filling vases with water while quipping that I needn’t worry about him taking up flower arranging.

In my room, I thanked him again. David said he’ll get me more flowers for my birthday -- and for our one-year anniversary.

* * *

I’m looking at the roses -- pink, red, yellow, white and peach -- now, marveling at how they’re opening. In my entire life, I’ve never been given so much from a man, nor have I felt so happy and connected to one. I love David, more and more every day.

* * *

David made good on his word to surprise me again for my birthday. As we grew closer, though, differences between us would emerge to test our love -- and threaten our future together.

When Flirting Fizzles

2009-12-19T19:05:00.010-05:00

Not too long ago, I did a post about flirting at the gym prompted by repeatedly seeing a certain guy there. A recent encounter with him got me to thinking how absence doesn’t always make the heart grow fonder.

As I mentioned before, this guy has made a habit of staring at me. Ironically, after deciding to finally break the ice and say hello, I didn’t run into him for about a month.

My fabulous trainer Crystal, however, did see Mr. Mysterious. She said he would look at her expectantly, like he was waiting to see if I was with her. I’m not so sure, especially after our bizarre exchange the other day.

He walked past Crystal and me to the other side of the floor. About two minutes later, he circled back and approached us -- literally stepping between Crystal and I, gazing intently at me. I gave him my best, most inviting smile…and he just kept on walking.

Now I can certainly appreciate being the shy, silent type (I’ve dated a few of those). And I can also understand treading gingerly before making the first move. What baffles me is spending months skirting thisclose to doing so and not following through.

At the risk of sounding like a ‘rules’ girl, I think sometimes a man just needs to man up and do something. If he can’t work up the courage to do it at the beginning, it’s only downhill from there.

Who knows? Maybe Mystery Guy just enjoys staring.

SGITC Reader Perk: New Mobile Dating App

2009-12-18T12:45:00.013-05:00

A brand-new mobile dating application is making it easy to flirt on the go. And, as a Single Gal In The City reader, you can check it out for free!

The app uses your GPS/GEO location to find out who is single and ready to mingle in your area.

Designed to be fun and flirtatious, it features a suggestion engine that offers conversation starters, current events, jokes, and movie quotes related to your ideal guy’s profile.

And it’s safe -- the app has a variety of filters so you can choose how much info users can see about your location, profile, etc.

What the application doesn’t currently have is a name, and that’s where you come in. The designer is running a contest where users can name the app. If your submission is chosen, you’ll get 2% of the profits for two years.

The contest only runs through December 31st, so visit NameThisApp.com for more details. To sign up for three months free, click here.

Happy flirting!

Meet The Filmmakers: SJP And Hugh Grant

2009-12-17T17:32:00.017-05:00

Tuesday night, I headed down to the Apple Store in SoHo for an evening about "Did You Hear About The Morgans?" featuring co-stars Sarah Jessica Parker and Hugh Grant and director Marc Lawrence.

Rom Com Dream Team: Director Marc Lawrence, SJP and Hugh Grant

Part of the store's ongoing Meet The Filmmakers series, the Q&A session was moderated by USA Today entertainment reporter Donna Freydkin.

SJP said she’d longed to work with Grant on a romantic comedy after the two appeared together in "Extreme Measures," a little-seen thriller 13 years ago. She raved about his approach to acting.

“He’s incredibly conscientious,” she said. “He takes rehearsal more seriously than most actors I’ve worked with and was always good. Always completed invested [in each take].”

Hugh reciprocated the praise, and had both his co-star and the audience laughing with his razor-sharp observations.

“She’s tiny and yet she eats more than any woman I’ve ever met,” he said of SJP. “I think she’s half woman, half locust.”

SJP and Hugh Grant: the co-stars bantered playfully with each other

Grant, with his acerbic, self-deprecating wit and charm, was the evening’s true star. SJP seemed spent from her earlier appearance on “The Late Show with David Letterman,” while director Lawrence didn’t have that much to say.

When asked about shooting romantic comedies, all three agreed that they’re the hardest kind of movies to make.

“There’s only a handful of truly great ones,” Lawrence said.

“Comedy is harder,” agreed Grant. “It should get the [award] prizes before the deep, dark serious stuff.”

Favorite rom coms? Sounding very much like Carrie Bradshaw, SJP said “The Way We Were” should be viewed at least 2-3 times a year. Grant is now hooked on “Sex And The City,” having watched late-night reruns while filming “Did You Hear..” in New Mexico.

“I would email [Sarah Jessica] and say ‘Like your heels tonight, worried about Big.’ But I don’t like when they talk about stuff boys should be talking about.”

Grant also joked about the movie’s on-set diva – Bart the bear.

“He was the biggest prima donna I’ve ever worked with,” he quipped.

"Did You Hear About The Morgans?" opens nationwide tomorrow. A free podcast of the entire Q&A is available on the iTunes store. For more info about Apple’s Meet The Filmmakers series, click here.

Meeting The Romantic Comedy King

2009-12-16T20:34:00.012-05:00

Readers of this blog know I’m a big fan of celebrity encounters. I’m also a big fan of actor Hugh Grant -- especially after having the pleasure of meeting him last night.

What A Charmer: Hugh Grant and me at Soho’s Apple Store

My photo opp with Hugh happened after a Q&A with him and co-star Sarah Jessica Parker, about their new romantic comedy, “Did You Hear About The Morgans?”

I’m happy to report that the British actor is just as charming and witty (and yes, adorable) in person as he is on screen.

Coming up…a full recap of the lively Q&A, including what made Hugh compare SJP to a locust and the dish about who was the movie's biggest on-set diva.

I think my favorite Hugh Grant rom coms are "Love Actually” and “About A Boy.” What's yours?

A Wedding To Remember

2009-12-15T17:30:00.004-05:00

Saturday, my weekend in Boston continued with Cristina and Chris’ wedding. One of the best I’ve ever attended, the 130-person event was truly an affair to remember.

Happily Ever After: Cristina and Chris on their wedding day (photo courtesy: Michelle Abril)

Following a nuptial mass at Cathedral of the Holy Cross, the festivities continued at Boston’s Omni Parker House – America’s longest continuously- run hotel, located next to Beacon Hill.

During the cocktail hour, I chatted with Cristina’s sweet twin brother and Man of Honor Robert. We shared a laugh when he quipped that he refrained from adjusting the bride’s train for fear that traditionally female gesture might end up on YouTube.

I also caught up with my former work husband and good friend Morty. Morty filled me in on phD application overload (he’s applying to 15 psychology programs), and we debated the subtle yet important distinction between desire and need when it comes to the object of one’s affections.

Eventually, everyone made their way upstairs to the ballroom, elegant with its dark, wood paneling and decorated with a Christmas tree and Baby’s Breath centerpieces. A snowflake ornament adorning each place setting completed the festive holiday theme.

All Smiles: the beautiful bride and me

After the Best Man said a few words, Chris spoke from the heart with gratitude for his parents and in-laws – and abiding love for his beautiful bride. Recalling the day he met Cristina six years ago, Chris said he knew then it was forever.

“You are the love of my life,” he said. “You’re the only person I’ve ever loved.”

Wow.

Speaking of wow, the DJ impressed with a perfect mix of dinner-appropriate tunes (including Sinatra in heavy rotation) and lively dance songs. Knowing my affection for Ricky Martin, Cristina had him kick off the booty shaking with “Livin’ La Vida Loca.”

Not only did I shake, as Morty put it, all three of my moneymakers but I managed to forget about my injured leg. One of the bride’s relatives later told me--

“You should be on Broadway!”

Along with everyone else, I also got my groove on to such crowd pleasers as “All The Single Ladies,” “Disco Inferno,” “Don’t Stop The Music” and “I Gotta Feeling.”

What a celebration. When a couple is so perfect for each other like Cristina and Chris, you can’t help but be overjoyed to watch them embark on happily ever after – and feel hopeful all over again in finding it yourself.

Weekend In Beantown

2009-12-14T21:11:00.009-05:00

This weekend, I headed to Boston for my friend and former Quinn & Co. colleague Cristina’s wedding.

At The Rehearsal Dinner: Bride-to-be Cristina and me

Long Island-born Cristina, who has a personality and sense of humor as big as her heart, and Staten Island-bred Chris met six years ago in Beantown when he was in law school. Which is why the couple happily chose New England’s most charming city as the destination for their I Do’s.

The festivities kicked off with a lively rehearsal dinner at Union Oyster House, one of C&C’s favorite local haunts and a place long on both history – it’s a designated landmark and located on the Freedom Trail -- and gracious hospitality.

In addition to meeting the bride and groom’s fun and friendly kin, I caught up with a handful of my current Q&C co-workers as well as our former business manager Annie.

During her lengthy tenure at Quinn & Co., Annie was very much the mother hen – someone you could always turn to for advice, and who you could trust to be the sole of discretion.

A few months after joining the company, I accidentally left my house keys at the office. Following a night with my then-boyfriend, I snuck in early and did the walk of shame to retrieve them, encountering Annie along the way. She smiled sweetly and didn’t say a word.

Annie filled me in about her newlywedded bliss at age 51. As I shared my recent dating ups and downs, she said something I’ve heard many times before -- that love comes when you least expect it and aren’t looking for it.

The next day, before the wedding, I found myself standing beside a cute male guest.

“Are you on the bride’s side or the groom’s?” I said with a smile.

“The bride’s,” he answered. “My wife is in the wedding party.”

Maybe Annie’s right.

Coming up…a wedding to remember and a look at unexpected 180-degree turns in romance.

Opening The Vault: Part Fifty Eight

2009-12-13T18:33:00.014-05:00

If you still have feelings for an ex, does that mean you’re not really in love with your new significant other? That weighty question was on my mind during an intense encounter with California-based old flame Mark (a.k.a Sparky) back in 1998.

Le Parker Meridien: Sparky and I caught up at this Midtown hotel back in ‘98

Sparky’s visit came at a time when I was at my most vulnerable -- a little more than a month after losing my mom. Up in his hotel room, the connection between us resurfaced. I now Open The Vault and take you back to November of ’98...

November 21, 1998 - Volume 70
New York, NY

Dear Diary,

As Sparky and I embraced, I could feel his face turning toward mine. I made sure to keep only my cheek next to him.

He suggested I come out to Arizona.

“You could be the other woman,” he said. “Okay, let’s have a fling.”

I wasn’t entirely sure he was joking, but we both grew serious and Sparky said he has too much respect for his wife (as do I for David) to do that.

Suddenly, I could feel myself getting emotional and nostalgic about us. I struggled with the words. Finally, they came.

“When we were together, I was completely certain I loved you,” I admitted. “I haven’t had that certainty since.”

“Wow,” he said, clearly taken aback. “That’s really nice of you to say.”

I also told Sparky how upset I was to learn of his marriage. Though, I said, I never expected him to wait for me--

"I always thought we’d get back together someday."

“Now you tell me!” he said with a laugh.

Later, Sparky reassured me that I will be okay, and reiterated how sorry he is about mom’s passing.

We hugged again. He squeezed my hand as he told me--

“I’ll always be here for you.”

He said not seeing me had been gnawing away at him since Mom’s passing in September, that he wanted to just jump on a plane.

“I still care about you -- I think about you all the time.”

About David, he said he was 99 and 1/10 percent happy for me, but also a little jealous.

“Because I wish it was me.”

So, what does all of this mean for my relationship with David?

I don’t know.

* * *

David and I managed to survive Hurricane Sparky. And a happy milestone for us as a couple would prompt David to execute one of the greatest grand gestures I’ve ever received.

Singles Event Pick: Contacts & Cocktails Holiday Party

2009-12-12T16:56:00.006-05:00

When it comes to hosting first-class events with young professionals, nobody does it better than Contacts & Cocktails. Which is why I was excited to hear about the group’s Third Annual Holiday Party.

Scheduled for Tuesday, December 15th, the event will feature complimentary peppermint martinis from 6-7pm, and live jazz from 630-930pm.

Admission is free. Advance registration and business cards are required. To RSVP, click here.

Love Lessons From My Personal Trainer

2009-12-11T12:45:00.009-05:00

I recently celebrated five months with my fabulous personal trainer Crystal. As we talked about this mini-milestone, I couldn’t help thinking that Crystal has outlasted any of the men I’ve dated during this period – and how much easier romance might be if men took a page out of the personal training playbook.

Have Regularly Scheduled Dates: When you’re working toward a fitness goal, you can only get there if you stick to scheduled dates with your trainer. The same applies to love, whether you’re in the throes of new romance or settled into a committed relationship.

Remember Likes and Dislikes: Crystal knows I prefer mat stretching to using foam rollers and keeps me into our workouts by remembering that when structuring routines. Similarly, remembering what your significant other likes and doesn’t like is an important part of sustaining a mutual spark. As the saying goes, love is in the details.

A Little Praise Goes A Long Way: Unlike our fiercely fit First Lady Michelle Obama, I don’t have supermodel upper arms. Which makes me all the more appreciative when Crystal notices a change in my guns for the better and says as much. When you’re dating, a little compliment goes a long way. My current romantic dalliance, HurryDater and PR exec E has a good knack for sweet nothings. There's no better icebreaker.

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate: Crystal and I ended up working together after my previous trainer left to go back to school. Open and honest communication helped us fall into a good groove quickly – just as it does when you’re getting to know a potential sweetheart.

Much like getting in shape, learning the dos and don’ts of dating is a constant work in progress. All the more reason to appreciate good counsel wherever you find it -- even at the gym.