Bill's Baloney

Things From The Past

2010-01-04T22:10:00.006-06:00

I was sitting here waxing nostalgic tonight, when I remembered a video game me and my brother used to play way back when called Road Rash. It was a lovely little game about illegal motorcycle street racers. The game seemed pretty innovative in 1995, although, as I type that now, it doesn't seem like it was that long ago. Hard to believe.

Thinking of my little pixel motorcycle racer clubbing another little pixel motorcyle racer in the head with a billy club or a chain brough back such fond memories. I remember that it was Bob's (my brother's) game, but we would take turns racing. I seem to remember trying to find a nice balance of trying to win the race and club other people, while Bob was all about the violence. He'd finish in last place as long as he knocked as many people as possible off their bikes or beat them senseless until they drove into trees.

Whoever's video that is above sucks at beating people up, by the way.

Suddenly, I have this great urge to try to find a copy of Road Rash. I've still got a working PS2, so it should work on there. Although Kathy might kill me (she's vehemently anti-video game). But maybe that's because she never got the satisfaction of fighting with her sisters over who gets to beat the snot out of the other racers next.

Anyways, I've now run up a couple dollar bill over at Amazon's MP3 store, buying up some of my old favorites I looked up and tracked down from the game. There's Auto Surgery, by Therapy?

Then there's two songs by a band called Paw, from their 1994 album Dragline. I liked the sound of this band. I liked the sound of music back then. Both of these I used to leave the game on just to listen to the music. I even had my one (occasionally two) man band do a couple of covers of them.

Anywhoosies, here's "Jessie" a delightful song about a guy's loyal dog. Is he insinuating at a darker theme in the song? I don't know. I loved it because I was an innocent little teen who loved his dog. Little did I know, that this may very well be a song about a pot-smoking, long-haired hippie running from a drug sniffing dog named "Jessie." I feel like Robert DeNiro in Meet the Parents, finding out that "Puff The Magic Dragon" isn't really about a little boy and his dragon. Dammit.

That's not the cleanest audio version of that, but I like to remember what music videos looked like before rappers got everyone to put "40's" and "bitches' asses" in every video. Here's a cleaner-sounding copy of the song.

Here's another one by Paw called "The Bridge."

Octopus Moving Up the Food Chain

2009-12-15T12:00:00.003-06:00

First, it was dogs who can climb ladders. Now, the octopus community is making a power play. they started out squeezing through tubes the size of quarters. Then, it was a few, random, small-scale attacks, presumably to test their killing prowess and see who in the world is paying attention to them. And now, they're arming themselves with heavy armor.

People, the handwriting is on the wall: Octopuses are aiming for world domination. And we, humans are their target.

Sure, you may refute that coconut shells constitute "heavy" armor. But it's just another small step in a series of alarming advancements by these increasingly intelligent creatures. And that's what they're banking on. They're banking on people saying, "oh, it's just an octopus," or, "so what, it's not like they walk on land?"

Well won't your face be red with embarrassment when an army of octopi pop out of the water in some personal hover craft outfitted with deadly laser beams? They don't need land when they've got flying death machines!

And I think we're overlooking something here: we only have two legs. They have eight. Eight. Think about it. While we've got two arms with eight fingers and two opposable thumbs, they've got eight legs with thousands of strong little suction cups. How are they already not on our terror alert scale or listed under the Axis of Evil? People, this isn't just a threat; they represent an imminent threat. And we haven't even discussed their water jet yet.

I hope we come to our senses, and not before it's too late.

New Home, Now with 100% More Video!

2009-12-11T09:28:00.001-06:00

Playoffs, Baby!

2009-12-09T11:35:00.002-06:00

Got my win this past weekend, and as a result I punched my ticket to the fake playoffs. Not only that, but due to a team ahead of me losing to match my record, and my subsequent edge in the tie-breaker, I jump up to the fifth seed, thus avoiding a dreaded matchup with Pat's "Flickin' the Bean" team that's riding a six game win streak. As a result, I had my assistant go out and get me a few bags of groceries for a celebratory party.

Yeah, that's right, when you're as good as I am, you have a fat Batman as a PA.

The celebration party has been moved indoors as a result of the single-digit temperatures here and 40 mph winds. If it's going to be this cold the least the weather could do is drop a blanket of snow on everything.

Speaking of New Houses and Merry Christmases

2009-12-04T08:42:00.001-06:00

A big shout-out to “Matty Mo”, Pat’s brother in law / tax accountant, who helped me get my first time homebuyer paperwork in order so I could refile my 2008 tax filing. I sent it off at the very end of October and got my check on November 30th.

Eight thousand dollars. Sweet. Plus, the IRS gave me $126.94 in earned interest.

So Merry Christmas to me. I instantly paid off my credit cards, about $4000 of the money. I have $2900 left on my truck loan, so I could completely pay that off too, should I choose. I’m planning on spending slightly more on Christmas stuff. But the bulk of the remaining $4000 or so is probably going to be split - $2000 toward the spiffy new 30 year mortgage I just inked, and $2000 held back as a “warchest” of sorts for home repairs. A couple of our appliances are older, so I’d rather not go back into credit card debt if one of them shoots craps. And we were talking about re-insulating the attic.

Plus, at this point, I’m five and a half years into my truck loan, so I’ve paid all the interest. The overwhelming majority of my truck payment now is purely principal. Basically, it’s an interest free loan on the last $2900 of my truck for the next six or eight months. Seems silly to rush to pay that off when there’s no tangible benefit to me.

Christmastime Is Here

2009-12-04T08:41:00.000-06:00

For a long time, I hated Christmas. I was bah-humbugging everyone who looked happy, let alone expressed it. I hated all the holidays. But I don’t know what’s happened the last couple of years. I’ve gotten really into building a large collection of Christmas music. I’ve been buying any Christmas-themed movie I can. And every year from Thanksgiving to the New Year, I listen to Christmas music non-stop and watch every Christmas movie I have. Hell, I’ve been ranking them for a couple years now, like college athletic teams.

Well, the new house is all decorated up neat and spiffy with a ton of Christmas crap, and I’ve purchased a few more Christmas movies. I’m thinking about expanding my rankings from a top 10 to a full-blown BCS-like Top 25, only with slightly less corruption.

That list is forthcoming.

To use up my vacation time, I’ve been taking a whole bunch of Fridays and a couple of Mondays off work. Including the holidays, I don’t think I work the last 8 or 9 Fridays this calendar year. And I think I only have a 3 day work week (or less) for about 5 of the last 8 weeks. So I’ll have plenty of time to rewatch the collection and get these rankings nailed down.

New House

2009-12-04T08:39:00.000-06:00

So I bought my new place on September 26th, a Friday. The lady, the kid and myself did the obligatory photo op on the front lawn and then began a chain of work that has just recently became close to being close to completed. We didn’t even start sleeping there until the first week of October and significant renovations were underway as recently as a week ago.

All of this is weird, because I remember liking the house because it was “move-in ready.” Nothing wrong with it, everything in working order and good shape. But somehow all that became stripping wallpaper, repainting every room, etc…

Here’s pics for anyone that hasn’t seen it. Those are the before pics. I’m about ready to put new ones up.

We’re having our open house on Saturday for everyone who’s been asking the same polite questions. How’s it going? Do you like it? How does it feel? I wanted to do the invitation like a cliffhanger ad for a cheesy sitcom.

ALL ALONG YOU’VE BEEN ASKING – HOW’S IT GOING? DO YOU LIKE IT?
NEXT SATURDAY, YOU…WILL…BE…BLOWN…AWAY, IN THE AMAZING OPEN HOUSE THAT’S SURE TO HAVE EVERYONE TALKING! COME SEE FOR YOURSELF. SATURDAY, 1 O’CLOCK, 2 CENTRAL.

We bought a Dyson vacuum on Black Friday. We’d been using my little ½ horsepower vacuum that’s designed for a dorm room about the size of 12 square feet. The little thing does a good job, but, hey, it’s no Dyson. Everyone keeps asking me, why do you need a $350 vacuum? Two words: Cyclone Technology. Ask anyone who has had a Dyson.

Back From the Dead?

2009-12-04T08:35:00.002-06:00

Howdy folks!

Been a busy few months and as a result, this blog has become a ghost town. I’m going to break these updates down into singular topics rather than one huge post with 400 links, images and other things to go wrong with, then having a tag list a mile long. Here goes.

Fantasy Football

The most obvious thing I could have blogged about, but have hardly done any this year. I had a big, long draft review post set up to post back in August or early September, complete with ghostwriting from a special guest blogger, but I lost the whole thing to computer issues and didn’t want to recreate it. As a result, I pretty much lost interest in blogging about fantasy football this year.

Not just that, but I’m feeling uninterested in fantasy football. Now that it’s playoff time, that’s coming back, but there’s two things that have led me in this direction.

For one, fantasy football seems so random. With the implementation of so many two, and even three, man backfields, having a quality lineup is like playing Russian Roulette each week. There’s about four mediocre backs on your roster and four decent looking ones any given week on the waiver wire. Whether or not you win that week basically depends on if you can pick the ones that will actually score. Because they’re all going to have 40-60 yards on 10-15 touches. Total crapshoot. As Bill Simmons commented in a podcast a few months back, “why don’t we just have our wives in our leagues?” always hated losing a football pool one week to a woman in an office somewhere who doesn’t watch football, doesn’t know the players, coaches, stadiums, etc…but makes all her picks on who has prettier uniforms. Or one week, she’ll pick teams with bird names. It’s just about become that random.

Secondly, I got busted in one of my leagues for having two teams. I blogged about this league here. It actually had potential at the beginning of the year. Then the commissioner changed the rules and I started chirping at him. He made stupid insults back. I put a full-court press on him channelling my days as a teenage internet asshole. Mostly, I just called him a fag and expanded on this premise countless times over. You could see I was wearing him down just by his pathetic responses. But then, I got excited one morning, and while logged in as my second team, responded to an argument he was having with me as manager of my primary team. Whoops.

He locked the rosters of both teams and I’ve been unable to add, drop, or trade players, reset my lineup or even email other league managers since. I’ve still managed to go 5-6-1 and sit in 6th place of 10 teams while not being able to control my team for about a month now. My other team is 7-5-0 and in 5th place under the same circumstances. The best part is that my #2 team is still succeeding well enough to keep the league commissioner out of the last playoff spot. I still log-in and call him a homo from time to time, or ask him about his prolapsed anus, or how his dream vacation to Hershey, PA to see the fudgepacking operation went. He’s stopped responding. But fuck him, because my teams on auto-pilot are still going to bounce him from the playoff race.

But anyways, in my “Swingin’ Dude Club” league that renewed for a second year, things are going reasonably well. It’s almost playoff time and things are heating up again. My team is in the 6th and final playoff position with a record of 6-6-0 with one week to play. I’m tied, but own the tiebreaker (season points scored) right now by about 164 points, about one weeks production. So the team I’m tied with isn’t going to catch me this week. My task is simple: win to get in.

A loss puts me at the mercy of several other factors. For starters, the guy I’m tied with could win outright and that would be that. Or I could lose, the other guy could lose, and two teams that are already 5-7 could win their last games to make a big block of us at 6-7 for the final playoff spot. If that happens I’m screwed because the two 5-7 teams have outscored me, and I happen to be playing one of them this week, so I’d lose the tiebreaker to at least two other people.

Let’s just keep it simple: Just win, baby!

I’ve got the following roster:
QB-Drew Brees, WR-Anquan Boldin, Michael Crabtree, Jeremy Maclin, T.J. Houshmandzadeh, RB-LeSean McCoy, Jonathan Stewart, TE-Zach Miller, K-Matt Prater, DEF-New Orleans, IDPs-James Laurinaitis, Charles Woodson, Justin Tuck.

Projected Total: 153.46

My opponent:
QB-Jay Cutler, WR-Vincent Jackson, Mike Sims-Walker, Torry Holt, Devin Hester, RB- Ricky Williams, Adrian Peterson, TE-Heath Miller, K-Ryan Longwell, DEF-Baltimore, IDPs-Curtis Lofton, Darren Sharper, Elvis Dumervil

Projected Total: 153.54

I like my lineup better. Without extensive elaboration, that’s it, I like my squad more. I had some tough decisions (Knowshon Moreno @ Kansas City vs. Jonathan Stewart @ home vs. Tampa Bay, with DeAngelo Williams dinged and questionable for the game and with their 2nd string QB leading to a scaled down passing game and increased run game; benching an all-world talent like Calvin Johnson in favor of Crabtree, Maclin or Housh). But win or lose, I’d replay this game 100 times and I’m taking my lineup every time.

NFL Picks, Week 2

2009-09-20T08:43:00.002-05:00

Off to a decent start with an opening week of 11-5.

Houston @ Tennessee
New Orleans @ Philadelphia
Arizona @ Jacksonville
Oakland @ Kansas City
Cincinnatti @ Green Bay
Minnesota @ Detroit
St. Louis @ Washington
New England @ New York Jets
Carolina @ Atlanta
Tampa Bay @ Buffalo
Seattle @ San Francisco
Baltimore @ San Diego
Pittsburgh @ Chicago
Cleveland @ Denver
New York Giants @ Dallas
Indianapolis @ Miami

I made most of these picks on Thursday, and looking at them after a couple days time, I think I might have overreacted to a team's Week 1 performance. I mean, really, it's just 1/16th of their schedule. Week 2 is the toughest week on bettors and bookies. You get some artificial lines from bookies, but most of the difficulty lies on the general public who let their eyes trick their minds.

Paging Dr. Funke, Paging Dr. Funke...

2009-09-13T11:01:00.002-05:00

Football is back, homos. Strap on your purses and let's get it on. I've already posted my lineup for one of my teams, Nice Tits!, so here's my Swingin' Dude Club league, now in it's 2nd year.

QB Drew Brees
WR Calvin Johnson, Anquan Boldin, TJ Houshmandzadeh, Anthony Gonzalez (flex)
RB Fred Jackson, Felix Jones
TE Jeremy Shockey
K Josh Brown
DEF San Diego
IDPs: James Laurinaitis, Yeremiah Bell, Justin Tuck

Reminder about scoring. Passing QB is 6 points. A completion is half a point for your QB. A reception is a point. Most of the other scoring is pretty standard.

I'm favored, for what it's worth, 156.6 - 149.62.

NFL Picks

2009-09-10T08:08:00.004-05:00

The home inspection got bumped to today, so I've got the last real hurdle between me and my new home and the return of the NFL on the same day. Hopefully my head won't explode. I've been up and down the last few years with my picks. Let's see how this year goes. My pick in bold.

Tennessee @ Pittsburgh
Miami @ Atlanta
Kansas City @ Baltimore
Philly @ Carolina
Denver @ Cincy
Minnesota @ Cleveland
New York Jets @ Houston
Jacksonville @ Indianapolis
Detroit @ New Orleans
Dallas @ Tampa Bay
San Fran @ Arizona
Washington @ New York Giants
St. Louis @ Seattle
Chicago @ Green Bay
Buffalo @ New England
San Diego @ Oakland

It's Almost Go Time

2009-09-07T17:50:00.002-05:00

Thursday can't come soon enough for me. Bring on football season, bring on my home inspection on Friday, bring on the cold front that's supposed to roll through St. Louis. My team Nice Tits! in the Neverland Child Care league will roll with the following lineup:

QB Matt Schaub
WR Calvin Johnson, Marques Colston, Eddie Royal
RB Steven Jackson, Kevin Smith
TE Zach Miller
K Josh Brown
DEF/ST New York Jets

My bench will consist of receivers Kevin Walter and Donald Driver and running backs LenDale White, Donald Brown, LeSean McCoy and Fred Jackson.

My opponent has the Tom Brady-Randy Moss duo, along with Ochocinco and Bernard Berrian, Michael Turner and Ronnie Brown and his Tight End is tied to my QB, the Texans Owen Daniels. I'm a projected loser, by a score of 87-99.

The Swingin' Dude Club: Year 2

2009-09-06T07:14:00.001-05:00

My Team:
Dr. Funke 1. (4) Drew Brees 2. (21) Calvin Johnson 3. (28) Anquan Boldin 4. (45) T.J. Houshmandzadeh 5. (52) Anthony Gonzalez 6. (69) Felix Jones 7. (76) Knowshon Moreno 8. (93) Fred Jackson 9. (100) LeSean McCoy 10. (117) San Diego 11. (124) Jeremy Shockey 12. (141) John Carlson 13. (148) James Davis 14. (165) James Laurinaitis 15. (172) Laurent Robinson 16. (189) Justin Tuck 17. (196) Yeremiah Bell 18. (213) Josh Brown

My Buddy "James" team:
Frank The Tank 1. (5) Maurice Jones-Drew 2. (20) Reggie Wayne 3. (29) Peyton Manning 4. (44) Wes Welker 5. (53) Jason Witten 6. (68) DeSean Jackson 7. (77) Matt Schaub 8. (92) Jerricho Cotchery 9. (101) Donald Brown 10. (116) New England 11. (125) Ahmad Bradshaw 12. (140) Earl Bennett 13. (149) D.J. Williams 14. (164) Barrett Ruud 15. (173) Chaz Schilens 16. (188) Trent Cole 17. (197) Jermaine Phillips 18. (212) John Carney

My Buddy Pat's team:
Flickin' the Bean 1. (9) Brian Westbrook 2. (16) Chris Johnson 3. (33) Pierre Thomas 4. (40) Brandon Marshall 5. (57) Antonio Bryant 6. (64) Hines Ward 7. (81) Carson Palmer 8. (88) Kellen Winslow 9. (105) Tennessee 10. (112) Kris Brown 11. (129) Will Blackmon 12. (136) Danieal Manning 13. (153) Kelly Gregg 14. (160) Willis McGahee 15. (177) Domenik Hixon 16. (184) Chester Taylor 17. (201) Joe Flacco 18. (208) Vernon Davis

My Buddy Matt's team:
Elephantitis 1. (1) Adrian Peterson 2. (24) Greg Olsen 3. (25) Jay Cutler 4. (48) Baltimore 5. (49) Vincent Jackson 6. (72) Devin Hester 7. (73) Jonathan Stewart 8. (96) Torry Holt 9. (97) Laveranues Coles 10. (120) Ryan Longwell 11. (121) Justin Miller 12. (144) Mike Vrabel 13. (145) Dwan Edwards 14. (168) Heath Miller 15. (169) Michael Crabtree 16. (192) Ricky Williams 17. (193) Michael Jenkins 18. (216) Carolina

$8000 Obama Dollars!

2009-09-05T09:25:00.003-05:00

So I'm pretty close to getting my first home. 1700 square feet in my hometown. It'll put me back within bike riding distance of work. The lady and I love the quiet neighborhood and the walking potential. I dig the bike riding potential of the area.

They were asking $119,900, I managed to get them down to $117,900. I signed a bunch of the mortgage paperwork Thursday and so the only thing standing between us and this house is a full home inspection, pest/insect inspection, appraisal (it has to appraise at least to the value we're paying), and final underwriting review of the mortgage stuff.

Hopefully we can be in by the end of the month. First week of October at the latest. It used to have an attached one car garage that they turned into livable area (and it now has two front doors). It's a second family room right now, I think it would make a nice study or den (the fireplace is in there), but we'll see what we end up doing with it. It's got a big kitchen and dining room area. Three bedrooms. One bath. We're already looking at ways to put another half bath in. Between dad's mechanical competence and Kathy's dad (he's been a pipefitter for about 35 years) they were walking around it talking about how easy it would be to do this or that.

The bedrooms have these big, all-wood full wall closets that I really like. It looks a little different, but I think it will maximize the closet storage and accessibility. There's a concrete pad in front of what used to be the old garage. On the other edge of the property is a gravel driveway that goes around back to a detached garage. It's a little bigger than a one car, I'd call it 1.5 car. It looks like they dismantled part of an old pole barn and built this thing. It's really tall, taller than a regular garage, so it seems like there's a bit more storage out there. Next to that are two small metal sheds. Kind of like the 10'x12' variety, although I don't know if they're exactly that size.

The back yard has a couple of really mature evergreen trees. I'm not crazy about them, but they are pretty good sized and there's a big open spot so playing frisbee or catch or washers or bags or whatever wouldn't be a problem. We're talking about maybe getting an in-ground pool eventually. And a trampoline. Me and the the kid all love the trampolinin'.

It's a really deep lot so there's plenty of backyard. It's completely fenced in the back too which is what we'd prefer with the kid and the cat. The roof looks in great shape although we don't know it's age just yet. The air conditioner looks a tad on the older side, but the house was still being kept cool. It's on a crawl, so there's no basement issues to worry about.

It has about 270 square feet of pavers just out back and part of the patio is covered. We can't wait to get a fire pit and drink coffee out there in the crisp autumn evenings around the crackling of a fire. There's a sliding glass door that leads into the house from there.

Between Kathy, the realtor, and I making two passes through it, and both sets of our parents looking it over once, none of us found anything really wrong with it. Just some things we'd like to change to our tastes. The only thing that won't pass the Madison County inspection is that it needs the ground fault interruptors on the outlets, but that's pretty minor. As long as there's no mold in the crawl or up in the attic it should be good to go. It just went through a sale three years ago and there wasn't a problem them. One of the owners showed up while we were looking at it and said the crawlspace is really deep and really immaculate.

So if everything goes according to plan, I'll be liveblogging NFL games on Sunday mornings in front of our big screen in a new home by week 4 of the NFL season.

It's Dickheads Like This....

2009-09-05T09:04:00.003-05:00

Pardon the title of this post, but it’s dickhead like the guy I’m about to mention that make me not want to play free leagues. I wrote this big review of my first fantasy draft of the year several days back. The draft went well enough I thought. I had since dropped Earnest Graham for Fred Jackson. Jackson’s the undisputed #1 guy in Buffalo for the first 3 games while Marshawn Lynch is suspended. Based on their play last year, Jackson has a robust chance of being the starter even once Lynch returns. But I digress.

The league was real close to your standard scoring format. 4 points for a passing touchdown, 6 for receiving or rushing TDs. This is the principle upon which we drafted. Because of this format, quarterbacks are pretty equal with running backs and receivers. So I wait until the 5th round to go for a quarterback, taking Matt Schaub. Schaub’s a guy with top-tier potential, who will at least produce 2nd tier production (if healthy), but is still coming with a third tier price tag. But in this format, he’ll be a solid starter each week.

So three days after the draft, what happens? The commissioner decides to make the following changes:

Pass TD points changed from ‘4’ to ‘6’
Trade Review changed from ‘League Votes’ to ‘Commissioner’
Divisions changed from ‘No’ to ‘Yes, (2 divisions)’
Fractional points changed from ‘Yes’ to ‘No’
Playoff Seeding Options changed from ‘none’ to ‘Division winners awarded
top playoff seeds’

Well, isn’t that cute? I can’t tell if he’s a numbskull who did it on a whim because he likes to see big numbers in the weekly scores or if he thinks it will benefit him more than an opponent, and he’s fishing for an edge. Given the particular changes, I think he’s looking for a leg up.

So we are induced to join the league based on one format. We do our homework, set our draftboards and go through a live draft that lasts about 2 hours and 10 minutes all under one scoring premise. And days later, this dope decides to change everything. He doesn’t see why – IT RENDERS EVERYTHING A PERSON HAS DONE UP UNTIL THAT POINT MOOT.

So the TD scoring changes favor teams that went for an elite QB early. It makes the top-tier guys more valuable. He’s taking back the power of veto from the league and placing it all in his hands. If he wants to make a shady deal, no one else can do anything about it other than gripe. If he wants to prevent a rival from fairly and legitimately adding a piece, he can singlehandedly veto it.

By splitting the 10 teams into 2 divisions he could be trying to guarantee himself a pass into the playoffs. Obviously, there’s a lot of football (real and fake) to be played between now and January. But looking at the teams on paper, the division I got stuck in has 3 very strong looking teams, one darkhorse contenter, and one team that looks ho-hum. His division has two decent looking teams and three average ones.

The fractional points thing is kind of a coin flip. It’s more a matter of preference. Maybe he’s been a tough luck loser a time or two before. I know I have. But that’s the deal. You can win by a hair or lose by a hair. If my team gets two more yards than yours and wins by .01 points, I’ll take it. It might suck for you, but hey, I did out gain you. One one-hundreth of a point is one one-hundreth of a point. Throwing out any fractions and rounding everything off is like having a big penis contest and then saying you’re only going to measure in inches – no fourths, eights, tenths, sixteenths or thirty-seconds. So what’s the point? This is a game, there’s supposed to be a winner and a loser, even if you have to measure down to the hundreth of a point and count every yard, you do it because you’re trying to find a winner.

Imagine the league championship week has two teams tie with matching scores of 100-100. Team A actually had 100.92 points if you were to count fractional points, and Team B scored 100.04. Who should win? The tie-breaker would go back to overall record. So what if Team A was 10-2 in the regular season and Team B was 11-1. Team B is your league champion. Sound fair?

Didn’t think so.

So I posted a public message to this doofus outlining some of my points, mostly about the draft being moot now, how the scoring change would’ve affected my draft strategy, and how I would’ve signed up for a league with these scoring rules if I had wanted a league with these scoring rules. I said he should change them back, or, at the very least put it to a league vote. If only one or two other people had a problem with it, then hey, majority rules. I’d post my exact message, but dickweed went and deleted all the public posts.

Here’s what he sent me back. I have it because he also emailed it to me.

Jesus Big guy,
I was unaware there were people that were so tempermental
about their FREE fantasy league. I repeat FREE!!!!! I would of thought
someone who joins a public league with the user name "Nice Tits" would put about
as much thought into the scoring as you did choosing that name. In
response to your idea of letting the league vote, well.... that would be an
option, but I'm pretty sure only 5% of the league showed up on draft night. Why
you ask? Cause they could give a shit. Half of them probably don't even remember
signing up.

So sit back, sharpen your knife so you can take more self portraits and
don't worrie about my scoring system.

Commish-

Some very articulate arguments in there, huh?

IT’S FREE! Why are you complaining? Did I say FREE!! Yeah, well, the donut shop down the street gives out free coffee if you buy enough donuts, but if that coffee is laced with arsenic, I’m not going to want it whether it’s free or you pay me to take a cup. No thanks.

I love his third point, which he put the most effort into. I like it when people make up stats to back up their point of view. Uhhhh, yeah, I’d change it but no one else cares, so, tough titty, kitty. Ok. Alright.

It took me awhile to figure out what he meant by the last line but it’s a reference to my avatar I use as my icon. It’s a headshot of GOB Bluth holding a knife in his mouth while doing a magic trick from the show Arrested Development.

My response went something like this:

It’s not about whether I pay for the league or not, it’s about the time
people have invested in it.

Don’t make assumptions about how seriously I take the league just by my
team name. If you judge a book by it’s cover you’ll look like a
stooge.

5% of the 10 managers would be half of one person. I obviously
care, so there’s 10% and you care enough to change the scoring, so we’re up to
20%. While we’re making blind halfass guesses, I sat through the entire
draft for over two hours and almost no one ran out of time and had to auto
pick. It might have happened a couple of times, but not with any sort of
regularity. So at least 9 of the 10 managers were here for the draft that
they don’t remember signing up for and even guy #10 was here for most of the
draft. Pretty miraculous everyone of these rubes managed to find their way
to the draft when they don’t remember signing up.

I’d quote it verbatim, but about an hour after my response, numbnuts logged in and deleted all messages posted up until that point. Guess someone doesn’t like public dissent. It lends creedence to my thought that he’s trying to manipulate the rest of the league in his favor.

Anyways, I tried reporting him to Yahoo! Under their sportsmanship and fair play policy. I doubt they do anything. The policy is mostly intended for owners who conspire against another owner, any sort of league collusion to gang up one one or two teams, etc… I’m trying to make the case that he started the league under false pretenses all along, and that these changes are efforts to circumvent normal competition in order to give him an unfair advantage. Like I said, I don’t think it will fly. He hasn’t done anything too shady yet. He hasn’t vetoed a trade, made a ridiculous one for himself, frozen anyone’s roster out of spite, and the scoring changes still present a level playing field for everyone at this point. It just would’ve modified my draft strategy. Others probably would have as well. I’m just upset that I was misled. Duped. Bait and switched. And I’ve had my time wasted.

If only Yahoo had an Asshole Commissioner Policy I could file my complaint under...

Neverland Child Care Draft Results

2009-08-21T19:50:00.000-05:00

Pretty standard scoring league: 25 yds per point, passing TDs 4 points, INTs are -1, rushing & receiving are 1 point for every 10 yards, 6 points for a TD, fumbles are a -2 deduction. Bench formations are QB, WR, WR, WR, RB, RB, TE, K, DEF/ST, and 6 bench spots.

1(10) - Steven Jackson, RB, St. Louis Rams
Not going to lie, I really wanted S-Jax to slide to me. I was really hoping we had that one idiot who takes a QB in the first round and sure enough, someone took Drew Brees at #2 overall.

I'm less concerned about the injury history than others. He's the undisputed top back on his roster. They revamped the O-line. The team has a new toughness under Steve Spagnuolo. They have a run-first philosophy now and a West Coast offensive playbook that will be heavy on runs to Jackson and generous on throws to him as well. Think of Brian Westbrook the last 3 years, how Philly's entire offense ran through him. That's what Pat Schumer wants to do with Jackson. And they have a real fullback for the first time since Jackson's dominant season a couple of years ago. Despite missing four games last year and constantly being behind and having to throw Jackson still ran for 1042 yards, caught 379 yards in passes and scored 8 total TDs.

2(11) - Calvin Johnson, WR, Detroit Lions
How Johnson managed 1331 yards receiving and 12 touchdowns on an 0-16 team that didn't have a quarterback, didn't have a running back for most of the year and didn't have much in the way of other weapons to take the heat off him is remarkable. He's as talented as anyone in the league and his floor this year seems to be a repeat of last year. How high does the ceiling go? I don't know. No one does. I made him the second receiver off the board.

3(30) - Kevin Smith, RB, Detroit Lions
I'm a little alarmed that two of my first three picks came from the lowly Lions, but Smith doesn't face a ton of competition and unlike most of the rookie RBs last year actually got better as the season went on. He's right smack-dab in that second tier of running backs and between the 11th and 29th picks 7 other backs went. It was draft two receivers with my picks at the turn or split them up. I wanted a split and Smith was the best left on the board. I considered there to be a fairly depreciable drop off right after him. Ryan Grant was still around, but that was about it. Despite not starting out of the gate, he managed 976 yards on the ground and 286 through the air with 8 scores.

4(31) - Marques Colston, WR, New Orleans Saints
Had to get another wideout here and it was a toss up between Colston and Marshall. Terrell Owens was around, but I have no confidence in him or his QB, Trent Edwards. Marshall is the better natural talent, but he's had injuries (more so than Colston) and comes with all kinds of baggage. Colston has been good to me in the past and I'm looking forward to him being fully healthy again this year. He got hurt fairly early in the 1st game last year and missed the next 6 games as well. So his 760 yards and 5 scores really only came in about 9 games. If healthy, he's a good bet for 1200 yards and double-digit scores.

5(50) - Matt Schaub, QB, Houston Texans
I might have pulled the trigger a tad too soon on Schaub. But I really wanted him. After my last pick, Romo, Warner, Rivers, Rodgers and McNabb all went off the board. Schaub might not be in the same tier, but he's the last one I'd really consider close for this upcoming season. He missed five and a half games last year, but still threw for over 3000 yards and 15 TDs. His 276 average per game and 92.7 QB rating are very nice, but the injury history is a tad worrisome. If he stays healthy, Houston has a dynamite offense.

6(51) - Eddie Royal, WR, Denver Broncos
With 3 wide receiver spots and no flex position, it puts a tad more importance on getting wideouts before running backs. The Broncos may be a mess, but Royal will still be productive. I fully expect them to be trailing every game and having to have Kyle Orton (gulp!) throw way more than Mr. Neckbeard ever should be asked to. As long as Brandon Marshall is healthy and not suspended across from him, Royal should be plenty good. He's solid downfield, he's solid in the short and intermediate game and he's got speed and moves to make any ordinary play extraordinary.

7(70) - Kevin Walter, WR, Houston Texans
At this point I'm looking for depth, and it's down to wide receivers or running backs. I think there's some tremendous value in later rounds with some young backs, and I've already espoused the importance I place on receiver depth. So Walter was the pick. He's nothing flashy, just a monster target on the outside with good hands and steady, if unspectacular production. Andre Johnson takes all the attention among receivers, making Walter a difficult matchup. Last year he posted 900 yards and 8 scores.

8(71) - LenDale White, RB, Tennessee Titans
Alright, tubby. I need running back depth and despite your years of trying to down your NFL career Teneessee has stood by you and given you chances. And like hamburgers, you ate them right up. Last year's total of 15 TDs seems unlikely, but not impossible, although now that he's reported leaner than he's been since high school, White might get a few more carriers outside of the red zone. And hotshot youngster Chris Johnson isn't exactly the most unbreakable running back.

9(90) - Donald Driver, WR, Green Bay Packers
This is one of those picks that isn't sexy and you don't feel good making it, but Driver is still a good player who will give you steady production. Green Bay still figures to throw quite a bit, so there's no threat of a regime or system change affecting things. The weather up in Green Bay becomes worrisome come November, but Driver has battled through it before. Last year's 1012 yards and 5 scores were his 6th year of at least 1000 yards and 5 scores. He won't get back to his 2004-06 averages, but this is still a quality performer.

10(91) - Zach Miller, TE, Oakland Raiders
I'd been looking at the tight end pool for a couple of rounds. There was a big group of guys I saw as bargains because of their average draft position and still developing ceilings. This group includes Greg Olsen (although the price tag isn't too cheap now that Cutler is in town), Dustin Keller, John Carlson, Miller, hell, I'm still willing to give Vernon Davis one more season (his coordinator is the guy who helped mold Tony Gonzalez's career). I even think a guy like Randy McMichael of the Rams can be a 700 yard, 6-8 score guy. But Miller is locked onto by Raiders "QB" JaMarcus Russell as much as any other tight end in the league. Even if they don't get to the red zone much, and there's not a ton of big plays, Miller's 14 targets a game mean he's going to get the ball plenty and it's going to add up.

11(110) - Donald Brown, RB, Indianapolis Colts
I wanted to go back to the running back pool again and was looking at the plethora of seeminghly high-upside guys sitting there. I've been burned by Joseph Addai a couple times over the last couple years, so I'm as willing as anyone to believe that Brown's share of the timeshare Indy is cooking up can be as high as 40% initially. I'm also one of those that thinks that by mid-November, Brown is the clear #1 in Indy's backfield. He's smart, he's looked good in pre-season so far, and he's said to have solid hands, so I see Indy using him quite a bit this year even prior to the inevitable Addai breakdown. If only he had a top-end gear....

12(111) - Earnest Graham, RB, Tampa Bay Buccaneers
I was considering any number of options here, but Graham jumped out at me. I'd considered a backup QB for Schaub for a few rounds (and came oh-so-close to drafting Carson Palmer with the Zach Miller pick). I had Matt Hasselbeck still sitting there. Felix Jones and Derrick Mason looked solid picks for this spot too. But I can really see Graham becoming the goalline guy for Tampa Bay. Derrick Ward has never been the #1 guy before. He ran behind a much better line the last few years in New York, and had Brandon Jacobs pounding on defenses before he came in. He's not really a burner and he's not really an inside grinder either, so I don't know what to expect of him in a starring role. But Graham has been such a team guy for the Bucs the last couple of years that they're going to find regular work for him. He's short, stout and powerful. He's proven he can get short yardage and be good around the goalline. He's not going to be a big yardage guy, but if he continues his productivity around the chalk, he'll be one heck of a deal in the 12th round.

13(130) - New York Jets Defense & Special Teams
Picking at the back of the draft, I felt I had to go for Kicker and DEF/ST one round earlier each than I normally would. Unless I wanted to pick through leftovers. Sure there were some ninny's that went for defenses and kickers way too early. Philadelphia was the first defense taken, at the end of the 6th round. New York Giants, Pittsburgh, Baltimore and Tennessee went in the 8th round. Minnesota went in the 9th, Chicago in the 11th, and San Diego in the 12th. So I was looking at the Jets, New England or Dallas. I don't like Dallas' secondary and I'm not overly impressed by their special teams. New England is always good, but I don't feel like they have many guys that can take a couple turnovers back to the house. And their special teams are just alright. The Jets were the 4th best defense in this format last year and they've since added Rex Ryan and his Baltimore swagger. It helps that he brought Bart Scott and Jim Leonhardt over with him. Vernon Gholston should take a step up. They've got guys who can force turnovers and take them back for points. And what separates them from the other two is an exceptional return man in Leon Washington. Every year he seems to take two or three punts and a kickoff or two back for scores.

14(131) - Josh Brown, K, St. Louis Rams
I supposed I could have waited for whatever kicker was available with the very last pick of the draft, but since there's bonus points for longer field goals (3 points for 39 yards and less, 4 for 40-49 points, and 5 for kicks over 50 yards) there were two kickers I figure to get plenty of chances and who have been good at long kicks that I felt like I liked better than any ole' kicker. Brown gets the nod over Matt Prater because he has a longer track record and kicks half his games in a dome.

15(150) - LeSean McCoy, RB, Philadelphia Eagles
I felt ok going for a kicker one round earlier than I would because there was a lot of guys I like that couldn't all possibly go before my final pick. I liked Shonn Greene up in New York. I don't have much confidence in Thomas Jones, and I really like his bruising style. But Jones is at least healthy. There's Julius Jones, who I wasn't considering, who's at least back #1a in Seattle, and his co-back TJ Duckett, who I could see getting 8-10 TDs as a goalline specialist. There's Darren Sproles, the dynamic backup and return man for San Diego. There's Baltimore's goalline bruiser Le'Ron McClain. There's Buffalo's best back Fred Jackson (don't get me going on Marshawn Lynch) who will be their starter for at least the first 3 games. And Rashard Mendenhall. There's New England's goalline guy, Sammy Morris. There's the Giants' #2, burner Ahmad Bradshaw, who could do what Derrick Ward did so well as to get a starting gig and $17 million from Tampa Bay. There's handcuffs Jerious Norwood and Chester Taylor. And there's two guys who figure to start the season as their teams' #1's - Tim Hightower of Arizona and Correll Buckhalter of Denver. The free agent pool is fairly deep and seemingly a mile wide.

But with Brian Westbrook's littered injury history, his slow recovery from ankle surgery, Philly's offensive style of spreading the ball around to everyone with a pulse and their own admission that McCoy is someone they're getting on the field - NOW - with or without Westbrook, well that was enough for me. He's looked very good in preseason and they've rebuilt their offensive line.

Like A Kid In A Candy Store

2009-08-21T13:11:00.004-05:00

Got a fantasy football draft tonight. Hopefully, if the league fills in time. I've had the itch for a few weeks now and its been building and building. I've managed to suppress it thus far by telling myself that not enough roster & injury shakeouts had transpired and with the help of my lady's unrepentant hatred of fantasy sports.

But enough is enough.

Draft time is 6pm. I'm off at 2, got some errands to run, then I'll be back here at 5 to start the coffee and do a final review of my draft board. I'm thinking of video recording parts of the draft this year on my new laptop's webcam. Not sure that that's something I want living on in perpetuity on the internet, but we'll see. I videotaped most of one of my drafts last year, but never got it off the camcorder.

It's a pretty standard league, so reshuffling of my rankings should be minimal. The league name? Neverland Child Care.

Fantastic! I love the internet.

I'm With You, Fran Tarkenton

2009-08-20T11:54:00.003-05:00

The Hall of Fame QB and 13 year member of the Minnesota Vikings pretty much nailed my thoughts on the latest developments in this Brett Favre Saga. Story here, video here.

Let's recap. Favre is wishy-washy on his future for a couple of off-seasons. At some point a couple years ago, after already having drafted a Backup Plan A, paid him millions and made him ride the pine for two years, the club decides they're going to use their shiny new youngster more, being that he's the future of the franchise. The Packers demand a firm answer of Favre. He's ho-hum and eventually demands his release (through his agent named "Bus"). Favre starts a string of about fifteen retirements, cries on national television a few times and shoots some Wrangler jean commercials (stay classy, Hattiesburg, MS). Favre rides back in on his decrepit old, white horse, being reinstated and forcing the Pack's hand. Somewhere in here I call him a dope. The Pack trade him off for draft picks. Favre plays the "game manager" well for about a half-season, starts bombing and the Jets miss the playoffs in spectacular fashion. Favre more or less gets his head coach Eric Mangini fired in the process, not that tubby didn't do enough on his own to merit this result.

Favre decides he's retired for good. He thinks. I like the quote from the ESPN article:

At first, Favre said he would remain retired. Then he wasn't sure. He said he
would let the Vikings know by July 30. Then he decided he'd stay retired. Then
on Tuesday, he flew to Minnesota and signed a two-year deal worth $25 million.

That's not too much like a 13 year old girl changing her mind about something every time she gets upset. So Favre gets to skip training camp, get a 25 million dollar contract, and scuttle a potential Super Bowl contender. Packer fans are outraged. I understand that reaction. But on the other hand, he just made your biggest threat to the NFC North championship way easier to beat. Do we fault Brett Favre that much, or is he really just a slow adult who thought he could still play because he can outgun the 11th grade QB of the local high-school team? I can see where a slow adult would fall into that trap....

Hey, also in from the "Stories that Won't Die Department" is Michael Vick's reinstatement and signing with the Philadelphia Eagles. This is what I wrote way back when I started this blog. It was like my fourth post.

Let's talk about the Football part of this development. I'm going to start by saying that Vick is too small in build to be a running back. I'm going to continue by saying he's too old to learn to play wideout at this point. Third, I'm going to cite his career completion percentage: 53.8. On his merits as a passer, Michael Vick has never been a good quarterback. He's subpar. He's not going to unseat Donovan McNabb. If the Eagles don't resign McNabb, they're making a mistake. Vick can't execute the West Coast Offense.

Sure, he's athletic, and he can throw deep. And the runs....wow, the runs. But he's not accurate. He's never been a leader. And if your postseason hopes hinge on a guy who can't execute the play that's called, but instead relies on being a "weapon" when plays break down, you're not going anywhere.

At best, Michael Vick may be useful upwards of 20 plays a game as a Wildcat quarterback or a receiver or back who goes in motion and works out of the slot. Even then, I don't have high expectations.

Now, on this reinstatement & signing as a matter of society - just because you serve your time for an offense you commit, doesn't mean you're entitled to full reinstatement of your privileges. Felons who serve their time still don't get to vote or own firearms. In the insurance business, if you're busted for Premium Trust Law violation, you could go to prison, pay some fines, but you don't always get your insurance license back after you've done your time. It depends on the offense. Lawyers who commit crimes and serve their time can still be disbarred. Doctors can lose their medical licenses and not get them back even after they've done their time.

Michael Vick served 18 months of a 24 month sentence and immediately finds himself reinstated. Like nothing ever happened. Sure, sure, it's conditional reinstatement. Ok. Keep telling yourself that.

Doing your time for the crime you've been committed doesn't mean things go back to the way they used to be. It just means you're free again. I don't get this lack of consistency from the Commissioner. He's been preaching about the NFL's image, insisting that playing in the league is a privilege, not a right. So why the quid pro quo? Like everything else about the NFL, it's probably all about the benjamins.

Let's address the argument comparing Vick's offense to Leonard Little. In 1998, I believe, Little was driving drunk and hit a woman named Susan Gutweiller, who was on her way to pick up her teenage son from a Rob Zombie concert. It was big news for a long time here in St. Louis. It popped back up a couple years ago when Little got another DUI. It remains a sensitive topic. Little made a terrible decision that had devastating consequences. But it wasn't premeditated and it wasn't recurring. Was his sentence too light? I would guess yes, in all probability it was. Michael Vick personally beat dogs, he personally drowned dogs. Time and time again. He set out to do this and he carried it through. This was no accident. This was no recurring accident. It was what Michael Vick intended to do. Mission accomplished, big guy. And then he went to sleep for the night and would do it again another day. So beyond the fact that these two NFL players both were involved in heinous acts, I don't see the similarities in the two.

What was with CBS sending James Brown to do the interview with Vick for 60 minutes? Brown is a football broadcaster. Sure he's well respected and all, but he's not know for any hard-hitting or in-depth interviews. Why not send Mike Wallace? Or Steve Croft or Bob Simon? Send a real journalist, someone who's sat eye-to-eye with people before and asked really probing questions to get to the root of a story? Why send the jolly football guy who laughs and horses around every Sunday with the former jocks? I don't get this. Of course, it's because CBS has a multi-billion dollar contract with the NFL, but do they think no one's going to see through this? Why didn't we send our troops to Iraq armed with plastic spoons instead of M-16s? That's about how equipped I think James Brown is to handle the first sit-down Michael Vick has. Most of American wants to see how sincere this guy is. Most people can probably forgive him if he comes off as genuine and full of sorrow and remorse. But we'll never know, because CBS put a big fat softball up on a tee for Michael Vick. And despite it, I haven't met many people who had their minds changed by the interview. So it was all worthless fluff.

Rams @ Jets: 2nd Half

2009-08-14T20:53:00.002-05:00

Got interrupted when the lady and the kid came out to visit. I ran around with the kid and the dog and we had ice cream outside. So I missed a few parts of the game. Some of the observations:

Keith Null wasn't asked to do much throwing, but he did slip in a TD pass to the rookie WR Walker out of Vanderbilt. It was kind of a dangerous pass, but it worked. I like Null - he's big, wide-shouldered, and doesn't look as skittish as Bulger.
I continue to be underwhelmed by Brock Berlin, but he was 6 of 8 before leaving with a shoulder injury.
Samkon Gado looked good with his few carries and he ripped off a seventy something yard TD. He finished with a line of 6 carries for over 90 yards.
The rookie RB out of Texas, Ogbayanna or something like that, looks pretty stout and has a nice burst. I'd like to see more of him. He was buried on the depth chart at Texas and was primarily used as a 3rd down back because of his speed and good hands.
Jason Smith looked pretty solid. Luckily, he wasn't going up against a top-notch pass rusher, like he does in practice with Leonard Little.
Chris Long is a solid, but unspectacular player. Other pundits have noted this about him. It seems unlikely he'll ever be a monster defensive end, but will be more like a Grant Wistrom - hard-nosed, high motor, max-effort, team-first, high character guy.
None of the wide receivers really stood out. Robinson had the big catch, but we'll need a little something out of the rest of the crew. Brooks Foster, Keenan Burton, Derek Stanley, Sean Walker....feel free to step up anytime.
Actually, Walker's TD was a pretty nice catch. He had to make an adjustment to the ball while it was in the air and he had a defender right in his face. I guess it's a start.
Rams won 23-20. In pre-season, it's said that you look at the score while the first teamers are in there and you watch individuals when the 2nd & 3rd stringers are in. The Rams first team looked alright, and, as noted, plenty of individuals had solid games.

Rams @ Jets: 2nd Quarter

2009-08-14T18:37:00.002-05:00

Dustin Keller runs a 3-yard hitch, is uncovered, makes the catch and turns it into about a 10 yard gainer.
Bradley Fletcher breaks up Sanchez's perfect game with a pass defense.
Dustin Keller gets open, breaks a tackle and has about a 15 yard gain down to the Rams 3.
Thomas Jones stuffed on the run on 1st down. Jones runs again, leaps over the pile, narrowly breaks the plane of the goalline, and has the ball knocked out. Todd Johnson recovers and runs it out but the refs are already signaling touchdown. Spagnuolo is going to challenge, and will likely lose.
Rams start from their own 26, and Bulger puts one up. Despite defensive pass interference, Laurent Robinson hauls it in, get a few more after the grab and it's a 50 yard gain. Robinson was a 3rd round pick a couple years back by the Falcons, he's got size (6'2") and now he's free from the depth chart trappings of Atlanta. Word is he's looked good in camp. He looked good there.
Randy McMichael hauls in a six or 7 yard catch.
On a short Darby run, Richie Incognito is up to his usual antics; he blew his man five yards off the line of scrimmage and gave him a shot after the whistle.
Bulger sacked in deep on 3rd and 3 or 4. Rams settle for another Josh Brown field goal.
Jets pick up a 1st down on their possession, but the Rams eventually force a punt.
Derek Stanley tries his best to foul up the punt return, manages not to fumble, but ends up losing about nine yards. Spagnuolo looks ready to spaz out.
Notable Rams entering the game: backup QB Kyle Boller and RT Jason Smith, the 2nd overall pick this year.
First play is an Anonio Pittman run behind the mauler Smith.
Kyle Boller, out all last year with a bum shoulder, completes his first pass to Tim Carter, out all last year with bum employment.
Rams slowly moving the ball down the field, Boller picks up a 4th and 1 on the QB keeper.
Rams attempting another field goal after a 12 play, 64 yard drive lasting about 4 minutes.

Rams @ Jets: 1st Quarter

2009-08-14T18:06:00.004-05:00

Jets win the coin-toss and get the ball first.
First play from scrimmage, a one-yard gain.
3rd down and Leonard Little blows around the edge, sacking Kellen Clemens and forcing a fumble. James Hall recovers. Rams ball deep in Jets territory.
They proceed to lose three yards on the next 3 plays, and Josh Brown nails a forty-something yard field goal.
The Jets move down the field pretty easily and settle for a field goal after working deep into the Rams territory. Backup DT Gibson could have blown the drive up, but whiffed on what would have been a 7 or 8 yard sack.
Rams look to start putting together a strong drive. The o-line is knocking people off the ball. S-Jax with a nice run, a nice little dump pass to TE Randy McMichael, a decent run from Kenneth Darby. And then Bulger gets blown up by Calvin Pace while holding the ball too long. 3rd and 18.
After the punt into the endzone, the Jets start out at their own 20. Check that, a penalty pushes them back to the 7 yard line. Mark Sanchez, the 5th overall pick, enters and throws a 48 yard pass to Jerrico Cotchery. Justin King burned on the coverage.

IT'S FOOTBALL SEASON!

2009-08-14T17:58:00.005-05:00

Long time, no typey-typey.

I don't know how to describe this time of year. Summer is about to kick the bucket, which I love because the days of 100 degree heat go bye-bye. The kids riding their bikes in the street and teenagers driving around blasting their stereos are about to go back to school. Baseball just now starts to become interesting on a day-to-day basis. Blues open training camp in about 28 days. The new season of House is about to come out on DVD. Full-blown coffee season is around the corner. And the pre-season football is here at last. The Rams kick off against the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets here any minute. Now it'd be nice if Channel 2 had their audio working.

I'm at the folks' house, housesitting, with the dog and the cats. I've left the woman and child at home for the evening to get my focus on the game.

This year is doubly exciting. Not only is football here again, but the Rams have done something sensible and overhauled the organization from top to bottom. I'm excited on a number of fronts. I like the Rams draft, particularly 1-3, with a nasty offensive tackle (Jason Smith), a real 'mike', James Laurenitis, and a big corner in Bradley Fletcher. I think Steve Spagnuolo was the best coaching candidate available in the offseason. I like how they moved Will Witherspoon back to his best position, weakside linebacker. I like the free-agent signing of Jason Brown a big, young, nasty center.

I like it, I like it, I like it.

Game's almost on and pizza is almost done. More as it develops.

Hockey Season Heating Up

2009-03-22T11:18:00.003-05:00

Been getting back into hockey more and more, post-lockout. I've started playing once a week again, for the first time in a couple years. The first week went surprisingly well, physically. This week....well, I felt like someone who hadn't played in two years or so. It doesn't help that I'm playing against kids from the local high school team. These kids are in great shape, for starters, they're young. They've never put on the "Freshmen Fifty" or taken it off or put a good portion of it back on. Secondly, they just finished their season up. So they've been practicing and playing several times a week for about six months now.

Conditioning aside, the speed is the most noticeable difference since I was a senior ten years ago. Back then, the game was more physical. The rink here was brand new and most of the guys playing in the league were fairly new to ice hockey. Sure, there are other local rinks, but it hadn't caught on as widespread yet. Each team had a handful of guys who had been playing for years, and it showed. The rest of us were lesser skilled but more physical. Nowadays, the rink has been here for years, these kids grew up playing hockey. The overall skill level is much higher across the board. And the conditioning of skating regularly throughout the year shows.

It's also fantasy hockey playoff season. This was the first year I played fantasy hockey. It was a small league, and not all that competitive, but even factoring that in, I think my performance was impressive. It helped having the #1 overall pick and nabbing Alexander Ovechkin.

There's the standings (click to enlarge pics). I ran away with things, clinching my playoff spot about four or five weeks ago. And I was pretty consistent, losing only twice in 23 weeks of matchups. Here's the weekly splits:

My first-round bye ends tomorrow and my march to a little gold trophy resumes.

Organized Religion is Fun

2009-03-22T11:07:00.003-05:00

I was driving from the girlfriend's house out to my folks this morning and drove by the church we used to go to. The parking lot was full, parked four rows deep in spots. Cars in the front were facing out. Cars in the back were backed in, facing out. Parking around the side of the church was full, parking around the school was full too. The majority of the vehicles parked there were backed into their spaces. Facing out. If going to church is so fun, how come everyone seems to park as if they can't wait to get out when it's over?

When I go to a Cardinals or a Blues game, I pull in front first. I can't wait to get there. I don't care about after the game, it doesn't concern me. I'll sit in traffic for twenty minutes, backing out, waiting for police to manually direct traffic. But these church goers, who love their weekly praise offerings, their mouths say one thing about loving church and throwing away an hour or two of their weekends, but the body language of their vehicles tells a different story. Seems like they don't want to spend any more time at church than absolutely necessary.

The Camels Are Unhappy

2009-03-17T12:08:00.001-05:00