Ron Writes . . .

2009-12-21T12:01:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd pick something rainbow or candy-colored for my review of Xanadu but then I came across this image called Disk-Oh! and thought it would work. I mean really! What better for a movie about creating a roller disco than an image like this one? True, the colors are hardly perfect (they don't go with the show's candy-colored palette) but I still think it makes sense in so many other ways. (You'll see why as I go along.) That being said--on with the review!

-
Xanadu has an interesting history: based on the 1947 movie musical Down To Earth (starring Rita Hayworth) and Gene Kelly. It was re-made (as Xanadu) in 1980 (starring Olivia Newton-John, Michael Beck and Gene Kelly (who reprised his role from the original). The plot was meandering (at best), the acting was wooden (to be kind) and the costumes were just silly (even by the standards of the day). I can only assume copious amounts of cocaine were consumed during the entire production process. Paradoxically, the movie spawned several hits for Newton-John and Electric Light Orchestra that have become "classic" pop ditties. In 2007 Producers got the bright idea to turn it into a live show.
-
The staged version of Xanadu has proven to be surprisingly successfiul: they kept most of the music from the movie (the best part of source material) and even the silly plot. The re-write was done thoroughly tongue-in-cheek and the actors were given free reign to camp it up to their hearts desire. They also kept the show short (barely an hour and a half) so the audience never really got to the chance to realize how slight everything really was. The set was kept simple yet effective, the costumes cute (and silly as the looks from the movie) and the effects were minimal yet in keeping with the whole feel of the production. The five-member band doesn't quite manage to duplicate the "ELO" sound but they were plenty effective.
-
In the end, what viewers got was the stage musical equivelant of cotton candy-- no substance but none-too-substantial. No audience member is going to walk away from Xanadu with an emotional catharsis or feeling that some great emotional truth has been exposed in a new way. What you get is an hour-an-a-half of pure, unadulterated FUN that is suitable for small kids and grannies alike. It is a safe and pleasing (if very light) entertainment. And really--when you think of it--what's wrong with that?
-
'nuff said.

A Christmas Carol Quiz

2009-12-16T10:03:00.000-08:00

I chose Which Way to Christmas as today's fractal image mainly because I needed something "holiday" to go with the first-ever quiz I created for my blog. That being said--care to test your knowledge of how well you know your Christmas Music? Take my quiz and see!

-

QUESTION ONE: What were the "Three Kings of Orient" doing?

a) shopping for a luxury car

b) trying to smoke a rubber cigar

c) bearing gifts
d) going out to a Transvestite Bar
e) trying to clean up a bad spill of tar

QUESTION TWO: Who wrote "The Little Drummer Boy"?

a) Barbara Mandrill
b) Harry Simeon
c) Hairy Simeon
d) Bobby Bonobo
e) William Johnson and Lem Drabinski

QUESTION THREE: while we're on the subject of The Little Drummer Boy--what did Mary do when the boy asked to play his drum for the baby Jesus?

a) said "thanks for offering but no."
b) sighed
c) let the kid play
d) sent the kid away with a strong lecture
e) nodded

QUESTION FOUR: "the Holly bears a berry..."

a) that's white as the milk
b) that's black as the coal
c) as blood it is red
d) all of the above
e) none of the above

QUESTION FIVE: what country does Carol Of The Bells come from?

a) Ukraine
b) Lithuania
c) Latvia
d) Romania
e) Ireland

QUESTION SIX: which of these other tunes fits the scansion of O Little Town Of Bethlehem?

a) The House Of The Rising Sun
b) Flow Gently Sweet Afton
c) Amazing Grace (if you sing the verse twice)
d) all of the above
e) none of the above

QUESTION SEVEN: what did "Grandma" have on her back?

a) a heating pad
b) rug burns
c) incriminating "Claus" marks
d) a tattoo
e) a map to Santa's Workshop

QUESTION EIGHT: what is the most popular hymn tune when singing Good Christian Men Rejoice?

a) In Dulce Jubilo
b) "Old Hundred"
c) O Waly, Waly
d) Glaustsestershire
e) none of the above

QUESTION NINE: who first recorded Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree?

a) Wanda Jackson
b) Wayne Newton
c) Brenda Lee
d Hall and Oats
e) Elvis Presley
f) wait-this question isn't fair! Brenda Lee and Wayne Newton are the same person!

QUESTION TEN: what were the "Angels We Have Heard On High" doing?

a) sending forth a glad refrain
b) sweetly singing o'er the plain
c) complaining that their job's a pain
d) trying to catch the morning train
e) echoing the joyous strain

QUESTION ELEVEN: According to the song of the same name--Mary Did You Know...

a) that a stable isn't the ideal place to give birth
b) that your baby boy would one day walk on water
c) that Joseph was cheating on you with the chippie next door
d) that your child will do wondrous things
e) that this gig was going to be a lot harder than it looked

QUESTION TWELVE: according to the ORIGINAL lyrics of Jolly Old Saint Nicholas--what was wrong with the singer...?

a) he wasn't very smart
b) he was a smarmy little twerp
c) he wasn't coordinated
d) the other kids didn't like him
e) all of the above

QUESTION THIRTEEN: what did the "Night Wind" say to the "Little Lamb"? (in Do You Hear What I Hear?"

a) nothing: wind can't talk
b) "Do you hear what I hear?"
c) "Do see what I see?"
d) "Do you smell what 'the Rock' is cooking?"
e) nothing. The Night Wind and the Little Lamb haven't been speaking since "the incident."

QUESTION FOURTEEN: what holiday was Jingle Bells composed for?

a) Thanksgiving
b) Christmas
c) Christmas you idiot!
d) Solstice Day
e) New Year's Day

QUESTION FIFTEEN: what was Jack Frost doing in The Christmas Song?

a) "ripping off your clothes"
b) "nipping at your nose"
c) "wearing pantyhose"
d) watching TV Shows
e) freezing Cousin Rose

QUESTION SIXTEEN: Patapan is...

a) part of the chorus from Little Drummer Boy
b) a Spanish carol
c) a Mexican carol
d) a carol from the American Southwest
e) a French country carol

QUESTION SEVENTEEN: what does The Coventry Carol commemorate?

a) Mary and Joseph's flight into Egypt
b) the travels of the Three Wise Men
c) angels telling the shepherds in the fields
d) King Harod's slaughter of the innocents
e) the birth of Christ

QUESTION EIGHTEEN: in the ORIGINAL LYRICS of I Wonder As I Wander why did "Jesus the Savior come for to die?"

a) for four horny people like you and like I
b) to save lowly people like you and like I
c) for poor ornrey people like you and like I
d) just 'cuz the Savior is that kind of guy
e) the Savior just did it--nobody knows why

QUESTION NINETEEN: In It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas where are the trees located?

a) in the park and the Grand Hotel
b) in the Grand Hotel and your Living Room
c) in the park and the Town Square
d) in the park, the Grand Hotel and your Living Room
e) none of the above

QUESTION TWENTY: Silent Night was originally written for

a) soprano, alto and harpsichord
b) choir and organ
c) baritone and tenor sung acapella
d) baritone and tenor with guitar
e) baritone and tenor with choral response and guitar

Fill in the blanks of the following lines and name the carols from which they come.

QUESTION TWENTY ONE: "Nellie wants a story book. She__________"

QUESTION TWENTY TWO: "Myrrh is mine, it's _____________ breathes___________"

QUESTION TWENTY THREE: "I've just one wish__________, I wish _____________"

QUESTION TWENTY FOUR: "Want a________________. Me I _____________"

QUESTION TWENTY FIVE: "Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Make_________"

And now scroll down a bit for the answers

ANSWERS

1: c ) 2: b ) 3: c ) 4: d ) 5: b 6: d ) 7: c) 8: a ) 9: b ) 10: b ) 11: b ) 12: a ) 13: c )

14: a ) 15: b ) 16: e ) 17: d ) 18: c ) 19: a ) 20: d ) 21: "thinks dolls are folly. (from Jolly Old Saint Nicholas) 22: bitter perfume/a life of gathering gloom. (from We Three Kings) 23: on this Christmas Eve/I wish I were with you. (from Merry Christmas Darling) 24: "a plane that loops the loop/want a hula hoop" (from the Chipmunks Christmas Song) 25: "the yuletide gay (from Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

This Year's Christmas Albums

2009-12-09T13:41:00.000-08:00

A post about the holidays requires a holiday-themed fractal. Since I have already used all my "Christmas" fractals I had had to create something new. This one reminds me of of poinsettia blossoms in the snow--thus the name, Holiday Poinsettias. Now on with the review!
-
I really like Christmas music: there--I've said it. (Of course I said it about this time last year as well.) You might be shocked or scandalized to know how many Christmas albums I actually OWN. (I'd tell you but, in all honesty, I've lost count.) Every year I promise myself I'm not going to buy anything new: I already have enough and I don't need any more. Of course then I find something by an artist I like or discover somebody new and I end up adding another album to my collection. This year I bought four new albums (above my average of two) and rumor has it "Santa Claus" is going to be leaving a fifth one in my Christmas Stocking. So--since I haven't been to any movies recently (and I feel the need to post) here's a review of this year's crop of Christmas music.
-
MANHEIM STEAMROLLER: CHRISTMAS--25th ANNIVERSARY EDITION
I've been a fan of Manheim Steamroller since they were a "fringe" group that nobody knew about. I remember the days of having to go to BIG record stores (when we actually HAD such things) to find their albums--and still having to scour the place to find their new music. But times have changed: record stores ("big" or others) have all but vanished and, thanks to main stream radio playing non-stop Christmas music six weeks before the holiday, Manheim Steamroller has become as much a part of Christmas as Santa and Gingerbread. They've made quite a little industry for themselves out of Christmas and Chip Davis, founder and driving force behind the group never passes up an opportunity to squeeze a few more dollars out of the franchise. The 25th Anniversary of the release of their first (and probably best) Christmas Album was an opportunity that could not be passed up.
-
The album contains 25 songs on two discs. There are a few new songs (original compositions that are pleasant enough but so forgettable I couldn't tell you what they are without looking them up. The other cuts are old songs nicely arranged for pleasant listening. Davis did an excellent job selecting representative works from his albums and there's only one clunker in the bunch. Their version of The Christmas Song (featuring vocals by Johnny Mathis) is a torturous dirge that all but drowns the listen in the audio equivalent of treacle. I've never been a fan of Mathis' particularly "precious" style of singing and this song shows his instrument isn't what it once was: not even recording trickery can disguise the fact that Johnny Mathis is getting OLD!) Still, for completeists like me, or those who want something nice, this is a good album to have. You can listen to it and enjoy it or put it on as background music for your holiday party and not have the music intrude. FINAL GRADE: A-
-
MARY CHAPIN CARPENTER: COME DARKNESS, COME LIGHT
Mary Chapin Carpenter is hardly your typical Country artist. Yes, she'll tackle the usual themes but there's a certain charm and, dare I say it? intellectualism that draws the listener in. Yes, she the kind of Country artist for people who don't like Country Music. Her first Christmas Album (released last year) follow her usual path of slightly downbeat songs, simply yet elegantly crafted and melancholy themes. People looking for "fa-la-la-la-la" and "Jolly Old Saint Nicholas" won't find that here: the traditional songs would probably be unfamiliar to most people. (Since I like Christmas music so much I'm familiar with everything on the album.) The newer songs are contemplative ruminations on the season that tend to suck you in. This isn't Christmas party music: it's music you listen to with close friends and people you love by a fireplace in a darkened room.
-
My favorite cuts on the album are the title track, Come Darkness, Come Light--a Christmas Song of deep faith and hope done in the spare elegant manner that Carpenter does so well. Candlelight Carol, written as a choral piece by John Rutter, is stripped down to the bare essentials that allows the beauty of the song to shine through like a lighthouse in the darkness. There is one critical misstep on this album: the final cut, Children Go Where I Send Thee is an old gospel song that follows the pattern of The 12 Days of Christmas. Like the "12 Days" this song goes on and on without really going anywhere (and it meanders on for over eight minutes!). I don't "quite" wants to claw my ears off but I don't want to listen to it either. In an album chock full of elegant little gems this song sticks out like a gigantic lump of coal! FINAL GRADE: A- (It would have been A+ except for the last song.)
-
LORENNA McKENNIT: A MIDWINTER NIGHT'S DREAM
Lorenna McKennit gives her New-Age-Celtic-Meets-Middle-Eastern style of arrangements to traditional English and French Carols. Fans of her style will probably enjoy the album: I certainly did. Her musical style isn't for everyone but at least her music has an original sound you won't find elsewhere. Be warned though--this stuff won't appeal to mainstream music fans. Still, I felt a little cheated by this album: several of the songs here were included in other albums (although with new arrangements) and I really think I should have gotten something new for my money. FINAL GRADE: B+ (because she cheated her listeners).
-
STRAIGHT NO CHASER: CHRISTMAS CHEERS
Straight No Chaser is definitely a "one trick pony"--but that trick they do VERY well. For those of you who don't know, that "trick" is close harmony singing--unaccompanied by only what they can produce out of their own bodies. Their clever take on The 12 Days Of Christmas was a massive YouTube hit was enough to get them a record contract. Their first album, Holiday Spirits, sold well enough to get them a second Christmas album and the group stayed true to what got them there with Christmas Cheers. There are "clever" songs (The Christmas Can-Can might well be called "12 Days Part Deux" since it shamelessly copies the first hit. The rest of the album is a mix of carols and novelty songs that work pretty well.
-
Still, this wouldn't be my blog if I didn't find something to complain about: their version of Jingle Bells is a shameless rip-off of the Barbara Streisand version. (True, a lot of listeners wouldn't notice--but I certainly did.) I hope they gave her Arranger royalties for copying his work. Their version of It's Christmas Time Pretty Baby (which I actually like a lot) features a bad "Elvis as Santa" joke that goes on too long and qualifies as "funny once" (maybe). After that it gets old real fast. Their "one trick" is starting to wear a bit thin and I'm not sure I'll buy a third album from the group. FINAL GRADE: B+
-
A FEAST OF SONG: HOLIDAY MUSIC FROM THE MIDDLE AGES. BETH and BARRY HALL.
"Period" music played on "period" instruments isn't for everyone: I happen to like that (in small doses at least). Beth and Barry Hall sing all the parts and play all the instruments (thanks to the wonders of modern technology), The songs are (relatively) accessible but I wouldn't recommend this disc to those who are not fans of Ancient Music. FINAL GRADE: A

Another One Bites The Dust...

2009-12-02T14:26:00.000-08:00

I created today's image Tiger In The Tank especially for this post. No, it doesn't particularly look like a tank OR a tiger--but the black-and-orange color scheme is called "Tiger"--although this looks like hot lava. Come to think of it though--that might work for the situation Tiger Woods has gotten himself into as well. So--on with the snark!
-
So it seems that another athlete held up as a role model for our children has proven he has feet of clay. The incident happened around 2:30 AM Saturday November 28 but I didn't hear anything about it until two days later. By then rumors were swirling around about Tiger Woods and how he ran into a tree. Some people said his hot blond, Swedish wife Elin rescued him by breaking out the windows of his Escalade with a golf club--but other sources said she'd chased him out of the house WITH a golf club because of an affair. In a rare public-relations blunder the golfer holed up in his home--refusing to talk to police or the press. (Dunno how the press came up with the girl's name but Rachel Ucatel was quick to hire a high-[powered Lawyer and insist she barely knew Tiger.) Only AFTER another Las Vegas "Nightclub Hostess" came forward--with a Voice Mail--did Woods issue a statement admitting "transgressions" and asking for privacy. A week later the story is still going strong.
-
Why am I still interested? One word--schadenfreude. (For you who might happen to be uninitiated into the concept "schadenfreude" is a German word meaning "happiness at the Misfortune of others:" it takes quite the people to come up with a concept like that--much less a word for it!) I find it endlessly fascinating why someone in Tiger Woods position--who pretty much has it all--would WANT to risk throwing it all away. Why would he want to live down to every negative stereotype of a black athlete? (What's next? Massive "bling"--maybe an O.J. Simpson after the wife has enough sense to leave him?) Besides--who doesn't love juicy gossip? Since Tiger ain't providing any details we're free to make stuff up!
-
I also find it interesting how much "information" Media types feel free to give out: here's some interesting tidbits I've heard. (Whether ANY of it is true I haven't any idea...)

DID Tiger deposit a million dollars into his wife's personal account so she wouldn't leave with the kids?
DID the wife demand (and GET) a re-write of the "prenup"--in her favor?
Are the couple REALLY in "round-the-clock" marriage counseling?

And of course I want all the tawdry details of the sordid affair(s)... Not enough to buy any book or watch the inevitable interview with some TV "Talking Head"--but all the good stuff will be all over the news shows soon enough. God, the very THOUGHT makes me feel dirty! (In a good way though...)

Still, it's sad to see a good guy done in by himself. I can only hope Tiger Woods figures out why he felt the need to trash his family and makes a real effort to repair the damage he's done. We haven't heard the last of the trash from this story (and personally I can't WAIT for the dish!) but if Tiger cleans up his act all will be forgiven and forgotten. But that's a story for later...

'nuff said.

I Think I'm Gettin' Too Old For This Kind Of Show...

2009-11-30T06:54:00.000-08:00

Picking Spring Storm as the image for my review of Spring Awakening was a pretty obvious choice. Yes, the colors are a bit bright for a show as dark as this one (but more on that later) but the general "sturm and drang" feelings comes through pretty well I think. So--on with the review!
-
To me, the most interesting aspect of Spring Awakening is the backstory: written in 1893 the play was so shocking that it was only allowed one performance--and not performed again until 1917. After a very short run the play mostly faded into obscurity into a musical version was brought to Broadway and won several Tony Awards in 2007. I think Spring Awakening is still running in NYC and I finally saw the first National Tour on Saturday November 28.
-
I won't really get into the plot of the show (because there really isn't that much to it) but I will tell you Spring Awakening explores themes of sexual awakening, child abuse, "throwaway children", CYA schools and "shift the blame" parents. All the characters are, in one way or another, flawed--whether through fault of their own or as products of their upbringing. The whole story is soaked in teen angst and melodrama that I've seen a million times before. Still, judging by the reaction of most of the audience maybe I'm the one out-of-step: I DEFINITELY am not the target audience for this show.
-
Maybe I was grumpy at the PAC who brought new highs (lows) to Customer DISservice or maybe I couldn't get past the technical problems of the show. (A couple of the leads were badly miked so I found it difficult to understand a lot of what they were saying.) Add that most of the male cast was wearing identical uniforms and I found I couldn't tell the Players without a Score Card (but that's my vision issue and I can't fault the show for that.) The music, partially penned by "one hit wonder" Duncan Sheik (himself the son of "one hit wonder Jonathan Edwards) was serviceable rock anthems that failed to stir my soul.
-
In the end I can honestly say I'm glad I saw the show but can't really say I enjoyed it. I'm simply going to have to accept that shows like Spring Awakening are the future of Broadway. Lush, "happily-ever-after" musicals a la Rogers and Hammerstein don't fly with the younger generation and big-budget spectacles like the epics created by Andrew Lloyd Webber simply can't get staged for economic reasons. For the theater to flourish it needs to adapt and change with the times: that means more "cross branding" (the endless Disney musicals and "juke box" spectaculars) or shows that cost less to produce.
-
FINAL GRADE: B-

Giving Thanks

2009-11-25T08:49:00.000-08:00

I couldn't think of a better image for a post about "giving thanks" than an image called Giving Thanks. That being said--on with the thankfest!
-
Last Sunday morning our Minister Rev. Jim Hickman gave a sermon called "Just Say Thank You." I found it to be particularly interesting since I'm a big believer in saying "thank you" when someone does something nice for me (at least usually). Still, I think it's a good thing to publicly thank those people who have particularly impacted my life this year--or who just need thanking!
-
First and foremost I need to thank Robyn: thank you my dearest love for all that you do--for all that you are--for putting up with me when I'm at my worst. Because of you I am a better and happier person. You make my world a better, happier place to me. I love you more today than the day I met you.
-
The rest of these "thank yous" are in no particular order (so please don't feel slighted if your thank you comes later rather than sooner...)
-
Thanks to my Sisters, Wanda, Jane, Andrea and Tanya for putting up with me and supporting me. My wish for the future is that we would be closer as a family. Thanks also to Alison Young and Andrea Pitzenbarger. You are my "sisters from another Mister and I an truly blessed to have you in my life.
-
Thanks to Eris Young for giving me hope in the next generation.
-
Thanks to Angela Rosser and the Corona UMC Choir for putting up with my s--- at rehearsals. Thanks to her daughter Victoria for NOT beaning me every time I call her "Whatsit" (because I always keep spacing on her name!) Thanks to Doug Crouse for singing with the group so I have someone to follow. Thanks to Margaret Crouse for being a friend and mentor to Robyn. Thanks to Guy Parks for being as big a distraction as I am and thanks to Janet Parks and Mary Lou Andrews for all their kind words when I force my singing on an unsuspecting audience.
-
Thanks to Sarah Palin for penning the best fantasy of the year.
-
Thanks to everyone involved with the Star Trek reboot: I loved the old stuff but your reinvention has brought something wonderful to an old favorite and made me remember why I loved the series so much.
-
Thanks to the makers of "V" for making an endless crapfest concept into something actually watchable (and making me suspend my disbelief in the face of all the obvious questions that rise from the concept.)
-
Thanks to Straight No Chaser for reminding me that good thing come from the strangest circumstances.
-
Thanks to everyone at Cardinale Way VW/Hyundai for making our first purchase of a brand new car such an easy thing. (And thanks also to "Madame Gres" for being such a good car.)
-
Thanks to Wendy for the apology: it meant more than you'll ever know. Thanks also to "Little" John Pyle, his son Jason and their family for taking the albatross from around Robyn's neck. Thanks to Aunt Sharon Pyle for making us welcome into their home so often.
-
Thanks to Facebook for allowing me to reconnect with old friends in a new way. Love you Terra!
-
Thanks to my friends in Elysium, the "Legion" games and I-T for putting up with me this past year. My "writer's block" and emotional upheavals probably caused you all no end of annoyance. I truly appreciate your understanding and support. Thanks especially to my e-Sisters "Jana", "Tigger" and "Dragon" for all the support they've given me in the past year.
-
Thanks to all the nameless individuals out there who showed us kindness and went the extra mile for a stranger. I only hope that one day the same comes to you.
-
Thanks to all of you who took a few minutes to drop in and take a look at my blog. I hope I've made you smile a bit or maybe think.
-
Last, but certainly not least, Thanks to God for the many blessings in my life, continued good health and all the good things that have come my way. I am blessed and humbled by the bounty that has been given me.
-
I wish the same for you.

Nothing "New" Under This Moon

2009-11-22T17:07:00.000-08:00

I needed an image for my review of The Twilight Saga: New Moon and, frankly, I didn't feel the movie was GOOD enough to merit the creation of something new. So I had to dig through my catalog of existing images to find one that fits in some way, shape or form. In the end I chose Exotic Cross because the green background hearkens to the Pacific Northwest where much of the movie is set: also there is a cross/vampire connection that should be pretty obvious to anyone who reads this blog. (Weirdly enough though, crosses don't come into play at all in this movie.) So, on with the review!
-
I guess Twilight came out about this time last year. Several friends (all female) had raved about the series and said the series was a "must" read. So I tried reading the book--and couldn't force myself through the endless teen angst and longing looks that never seemed to resolve itself into much of anything. Robyn (who generally reads EVERYTHING cover-to-cover didn't make it through the book either. So I wasn't expecting much from the movie--and I didn't get much either. A dull script, lackluster acting and sub-par FX. Still, there were plenty of people in the audience who loved, Loved, LOVED it! They got what they wanted out of the movie--even as it left a critical old coot like me cold. (I ended up giving it the first "split grade" in my reviewing career--one for fans and the other for the rest of us.)
-
New Moon as the same song, second verse. "True" Fans (which I am not one) will love the movie but I found it worse than the original--if only because everyone involved aimed so low and failed to raise their game the slightest. Yes, there's a bit more action so the movie isn't a total snoozefest but the FX are still way below par for a movie of this nature. (HBO has effects at least as good on True Blood.) Worse, there's a lot of stuff left out of the script that made me go "huh" several times as confusing things happened. Jake, the shirtless werewolf, was pretty enough I suppose but I couldn't work up a lot of sympathy for him (or anybody else in the movie except the hapless Dad lost in a world he couldn't comprehend.)
-
For me the movie seemed like some kind of weird, and vaguely unpleasant allegory for an abusive relationship. The hapless woman has to chose between two unhealthy relationships--neither of which are good for her--but ends up going for the greater of two evils. Yes, I know love will triumph in the end (this is fiction after all) but I just can't suspend my disbelief long enough see it happening. Still, the die-hard fans will keep eating it up. There's something in this drek that touches them deep inside (in an unhealthy way) that I simply don't get. For both Robyn and I, we're done with the Twilight franchise: we'll leave it to those who appreciate it.
-
FINAL GRADE: D-

Disaster Epic Is (Almost) Epic Disaster

2009-11-19T08:05:00.001-08:00

Fractals are the ultimate in order since they are endless pattern repetitions spinning out into infinity. Calling a fractal Chaos Emergent seems like an oxymoron--but this image with it's lightning-like lines and pieces falling apart seems fitting for a review of a movie about the end of the review. Yes, I'm finally getting around to writing my review of 2012.
-
Disaster flicks have evolved their own formula: doesn't matter what causes the destruction you pretty much know what's going to happen from the moment you buy your ticket. 2012 may well be the ultimate disaster flick considering the multiple threads that all crash into one gigantic orgy of mass destruction. Director Roland Emmerich is the uncrowned "King" of Duster Movies (having made a bunch) so there was nobody better suited to make this movie.
-
The plot jumps off from the end of the Mayan Calendar which takes place December 21, 2012: I could write a whole BOOK about that and the hysteria it caused but I REFUSE to devote space to downright stupid hysteria. Suffice it to say some fuzzy science is used to explain the destruction of Earth. World governments have secretly begun a program to save at least part of humanity while an ordinary family struggles to survive on their own. At least the script avoids SOME of the cliches so common to disaster flicks (a nice surprise) but the script is so big and bloated it makes it hard to root for anybody (and at two and a half hours the movie runs way too long!).
-
Still, you don't watch movies like this for PLOT--you turn your brain off at the door and enjoy the special effects. And the FX are nothing short of spectacular. There's a certain sense of "scheidenfreude" watching the destruction of Los Angeles (again!), Washington DC and Saint Peter's Square (even while you simply ignore the cinematic "deaths" of literally MILLIONS of people on the sidelines.) The destruction scenes whether they be volcanoes or earthquakes are utterly spectacular and are almost enough to make you forget the utter lameness of the rest of the movie. The actors (most of whom I didn't recognize) did a good job with what little they were given so I guess I can forgive them.
-
FINAL GRADE
SPECIAL EFFECTS: A++
THE REST OF THE MOVIE: F-

This Parade Has DEFINITELY Passed By

2009-11-17T14:08:00.000-08:00

Try as I might I couldn't find an image to go with today's commentary. In the end I chose Indian Summer--mainly because the parade happened on one of those perfect "Indian summer" days (and because you can't really have cowboys without Indians). So--on with the rant.
-
You really have to be careful when you are revisiting childhood memories: the reality simply can't match up to the burnished glow of the past. (If the bad stuff isn't magnified out of proportion it tends to fade into the background thanks to the glow of nostalgia.) I had this lesson brought back to me when Robyn and I attended the 53rd Annual Cattle Call Parade in Brawley California this past weekend (November 14).
-
The parade is barely-younger than I am and before I left Imperial County to make my adult life I went every year. When I was very young my Dad was involved with the Westmorland Chamber of Commerce and he often headed their float building projects. (Most of the time he would drive the float as well and I'd ride in the pickup cab with him. I remember one float he built that was half-contemporary patio (complete with working fountain!) and half Old West Covered Wagon: I think it won the Sweepstakes Trophy that year. I remember the costumed riders and the horses dripping with silver tack. I remember the Al-Bahr (sp?) Shriner's unit that seemed to go on and on with the parade of clowns, motorcycle riders and the centipede filled with old dudes in fezzes. I remember bands who came from all over Southern California and Western Arizona to march and play. As an older child I often rode in the Parade with one club or another through high school. Of course then I graduated and looked to broader horizons--and put the Cattle Call behind me with the other things of childhood.
-
Still, as I grew older I found that I missed the things of my childhood and wanted to go back and experience the simple pleasures of a small-town festival: when my sister Wanda invited us down to attend Cattle Call (and we had something else we needed to do in the Valley) we decided to go. The morning of the parade dawned clear and breezy: there was a bit of an autumn chill in the air but the promise of a warm day was in the air and the sky was the color of denim lapis from horizon to horizon--something you'll only see in the desert Southwest. I was pretty sure the best viewing spots would fill up early so we arrived tow hours before the start of the festivities--only to find most everything had already been staked out. (We heard people had started setting up chairs and even pavilions as early as Thursday to assure their spots.) Still, we found a place on the sunny side of the street and settled in to wait for the show to begin.
-
Boy was I disappointed.
-
The band from my alma mater Brawley Union High School was frankly BAD (and I didn't even like their new uniforms). There was no drill team (although maybe they had been dragooned into carrying banners announcing the various Divisions and prize-winning entries. There was only one rider in silver tack (although he was pretty spectacular). Kudos to the Winchester Widows and the Hold-In-The-Wall Gang for keeping the tradition of costumed riders alive. Still, I missed the Desert Dolls, the Barbara Worth Brigadettes and the Galloping Gossips--all Imperial Valley instutitions) who didn't put in an appearance. I know the Brigadettes are still in existence (my niece is a member): why the shocking lack of community spirit? Has it gotten so expensive you can't scrape together enough cash to honor the place that birthed you? How sad you all chose not to participate for whatever reason.
-
The rest of the units were bands from local schools (with the exception of a band from Chula Vista) and floats that looked like they'd been slapped together. (I said of the Sweepstakes Trophy winner "that one isn't sad--just kind of unhappy.") Most of the kids riding floats didn't even look like they wanted to be there--the way I felt as the endless parade of sub-par clopped on and on for nearly two hours. I was actually had to see the finally entry come down main street so I could finally leave.
-
And so I put one more childhood memory to bed once and for all: unless I'm asked back to ride in the Parade as an honored guest (not likely!) I won't be attending the parade again. The parade had a good run but it's time to let it go the way of the Dinosaurs if the community can't muster up any more support for this venerable institution.
-
'nuff said.

This "Christmas Carol" A Feast For The Eyes (If Not The Soul)

2009-11-09T08:43:00.000-08:00

A review of Disney's A Christmas Carol requires something Christmas-y. Since I pretty much used up every Chirstmas-themed fractal I created in older posts I decided to make a new image: therefor I give you Christmas Wreath '09 (since there was already another image with that title). Enjoy it as you read the review.
-
A Christmas Carol was written by Charles Dickens way back in 1841 but it has stood the test of time and been re-made time and time again since the author first did readings in Victorian England and America. It has been remade for the big and small screen at least a dozen times (and that doesn't count movies "based" on the story like Scrooged). As a matter of fact Disney has gone to this particular well at least once previously (with Mickey's Christmas Carol in 1983). That version was "hand drawn" animation but their latest entry has gone The Polar Express route with computer animation.
-
The good news is that this Christmas Carol looks MUCH BETTER than The Polar Express: the bad news--the process still isn't perfect (especially with secondary characters). Still, the film has a look that is nothing short of fantastic that should be seen on the big screen (the bigger the better in fact!) A lot of the shots are literally breathtaking (and could never be done live). When the animators take time, the Characters don't look like animated wax dolls, Sadly, only the leads get this treatment--secondary characters still look like video-game avatars (albeit good ones).
-
I won't bother to review the plot for you here: unless you've been living under a rock you know the story... This Christmas Carol has all the scene (including a bit that has never made it into any other filmed or televised version of the story) and much of the dialog is transferred word-for-word from the original. (In my book that's definitely a good thing--and speaks well to the power and relevance of the original work>)
-
Frankly I was less than impressed when I heard that Jim Carry would be providing several voices for the film (Scrooge at all ages and all three Ghosts) because he is notorious for taking things way, Way, WAY over the top. Here he keeps his performance low-key (for the most part) delivering Scrooge's lines completely straight and without a hint of smirk. OF course there is some physical comedy: it wouldn't be a Jim Carry movie without that (and it works in the context of the story and medium). Gary Oldman (Bob Cratchitt), Bob Hoskins (Fezzywig), Colin Firth (Fred) and Robin Wright-Penn (Fran) also lend their voices in small roles as does Cary Elwes.
-
If I had any complaint regarding this Christmas Carol it would be the needless insertion of "action" sequences (no doubt stuck in the "pump up the volume" even as it dumbs down the story). Yes, it was cute to see the flyovers of London (at least the first time) but by the third it got a bit "ho-hum". Yet their was an extended sequence where a shrunken Scrooge flees (what I called) the Coach Devour that so completely DID NOT belong in the story that it completely pulled my head out of the movie. (Robyn liked that part better than me.)
-
So in conclusion: is this a worth effort? Yes! Is it a Christmas Carol for the ages? No. This is hardly a perfect effort but the movie has a lot going for it--and it could well become part of family Christmas traditions for years to come. Everyone, but the smallest children (at least those who are easily frightened) would enjoy seeing it.
-
FINAL GRADE: B+

"V" Is For "Verisimilitude"

2009-11-05T08:16:00.001-08:00

A comment on a series about space aliens requires something with a star theme I think. "V" is about aliens coming to Earth so Starshower seemed like an appropriate image for this commentary.
-
Anyone who reads this blog knows I'm an unabashed Science Fiction fan (not quite to capital-letter Fandom but close). I want Science Fiction to succeed on the big screen: more than that I want good S.F. to succeed. That's why I was so uncertain when I found out that somebody had the idea to resurrect the "classic" series "V" and bring it back to television.
-
"V" began life nearly a generation ago as a pair of big-budget miniseries and later became a TV series. After a year the franchise came to an ignominious end--crushed under the weight of production expense and the sheer cheese on screen. Still, the show was loaded with eighties hotties so tasty you could eat them with a spoon (and whatever happened to Jane Badler and Marc Singer anyway?) and pretty darn good FX (at least for TV at that time). With the success of Battlestar Galactica on the Sci Fi Channel (now SyFy) decided to bring back another classic.
-
The basic premise hasn't changed: "friendly" aliens from a distant planet show up on Earth and make nice. The visitors are welcomed with open arms but the alien visitors have sinister intentions. (In the original series the Visitors were using Earth as a gigantic cattle ranch.) Most (if not all) of the old characters have been jettisoned or re-imagined to the point that I didn't recognize them. The FX are top notch and the show is both well written and acted, I found the many intertwining story arcs and characters to be interesting.
-
I wanted to like the show--and I was captured while I was watching it--but then the show ended and it came completely unraveled (for me at least: the TV viewing public game "V" super high ratings). A program like this requires verisimilitude (which is to say it has a sense of truth. The viewer has to have a sense of "yeah, that could happen": they must willing suspend their disbelief. As for me--I could never quite manage that no matter how hard I tried.
-
My big complaint is this: why could a group of aliens who have the ability to safely travel interstellar distances (which would require impressive technology even for "generation" ships) NEED to use subterfuge to conquer humanity? And--while I'm on the subject of wondering things--why do the aliens use Earth-type guns with bullets? (Surely they'd have something more advanced...) Why was it that an entire FLEET of truly gigantic spaceships escape ANY kind of detection as they approached Earth? Was there some sort of reaction by government bodies? (Honestly, I can't see Military types all over the globe simply letting these things drop in without some sort of challenge...) I can swallow (or at least ignore) a lot of things (remember verisimilitude?) but these things simply bug me beyond all reason!
-
Will these questions be addressed in the context of the series? I don't know: I hope so. Still, I'll keep watching the show--for a while at least. And I'll keep hoping for the best even as I fear the worst...
-
'nuff said.

My Own Personal "Bucket List"

2009-10-20T08:55:00.001-07:00

I chose Overflight as today's fractal because it reminds me of a balloon in the air. You'll have to read the post to see why that is important.
-
Recently I've discovered I'm becoming more concerned about my own mortality. I realize that my life will end in a (relatively) short time so I need to start getting to the business of what I want to do before I finally "kick the bucket". I mentioned in my last post that I wanted to see Spamalot (which I did) so now--here is the rest of my list (which may or may not change).
-
O1) SEE A BROADWAY SHOW ON BROADWAY: there's nothing like the experience of seeing a Broadway-style musical on the Great White Way (or so I've been told). It doesn't really matter what I see as long as I see SOMETHING. The list is in no particular order.
-
And while I'm on the subject of Broadway here's something else I'd like to do that's related... 02) SEE MAMA MIA: I've been wanting to see this show for YEARS but circumstances have always conspired against me. (Either I had no money when the show came to town or I was out of town when a company came close to me.) I liked the movie (in spite of Pierce Brosnan's vocal stylings) but it just ain't the same as seeing the show on stage.
-
03) TAKE AN ALASKA CRUISE: I've always found cruising to be a great way to travel and I think a cruise to Alaska woudl be a great way to see the state.
-
04) SEE FALL FOLIAGE IN NEW ENGLAND: I've always been entranced by the rolling hills of New England covered in red, orange and gold. I'd really like to see that for myself.
-
05) VISIT NEW ZEALAND: the photos look spectacular and my half-Niece Audrey lives there. There's nothing like a resident to give you an insider's tour. Her husband sounds like a pretty awesome dude and I'd like to meet him at some point.
-
06) TAKE A HOT AIR BALLOON RIDE: just something I think would be cool to do--and since we live near Temecula (which has a lot of hot-air balloon companies) I actually have a pretty good chance of making this happen sooner rather than later.
-
07) VISIT A CORN MAZE: it's just dumb but I want to do it. Dunno why.
-
08) SKYDIVE: I've always wanted to do it since I was a kid. Of course I'd probably chicken out if/when I got the opportunity but I still want to do it.
-
09) SEE BRYCE, ZION and MONUMENT VALLEY: because they are so beautiful.
-
10) SWIM WITH DOLPHINS: what more needs be said?
-
11) GET MY NOVEL PUBLISHED: OK, first I have to write one but still...
-
12) VISIT IRELAND: I'm a self-confessed "transnational". I may have been born half-French but deep down in my heart I've always been an Irishman. Yes, I'm coming out of the ethnic closet and saying loud and proud--I'm Galic! That's why I need to visit the "auld sod" once before I die.
-
13) ADOPT A MASTIFF: not that Robyn would ever let me do that but it's on the list.
-
14) TAKE A TRAIN THROUGH THE CANADIAN ROCKIES because I like trains and it would be a beautiful trip. And while I'm on the subject of trains... 15) RIDE THE SILVERTON-DURANGO RAILROAD at least one way--probably only one way.)
-
15) RECORD AN ALBUM. If I'm going to do this I really need to get to it before my voice deteriorates any further.
-
16) RE-CONSTRUCT ALL THE "URBAN-ASSAULT CAROLS" I WROTE: maybe these parodies weren't all that good but I enjoyed writing them--and folks seem to enjoy them. Somehow they got lost and I need to find/re-write them.
-
17) LEARN TO BALLROOM DANCE: I love to dance but I suck at it. Besudes, it's great exercise! All I really need to do is persuade Robyn to do it with me.
-
18) SEE MARY-CHAPIN CARPENTER IN CONCERT: dunno why I love her so much but I do. I think seeing her live--especially in a small venue--would be really cool.
-
19) SEE THE ROSE PARADE IN PERSON: I can't remember a year when I haven't NOT watched the Tournament of Roses Parade from start to finish. Just once I'd like to see the event live and in person.
-
20) BE SHOT BY A JEALOUS HUSBAND ON MY 100th BIRTHDAY. What better way is there to shuffle off this mortal coil?
-
-nuff said.

Spamalot: a Send-up and Homage To Broadway

2009-10-19T10:31:00.000-07:00

I chose Medal as today's fractal mainly because Spamalot has now taken the prize as my favorite musical. Besides--I really couldn't think of a better fractal for this review and I had no idea what to make for a new image.
-
Seeing Spamalot live on stage was one of the first items on my personal "Bucket List": I would have loved to see the show on Broadway and I was scheming to make a trip to Las Vegas when it took over from Avenue Q in Las Vegas at The Wynn Resort. That never quite happened but the inclusion of this year's Broadway Season at the Orange County Performing Arts Centre was the main reason we bought season tickets this year. On Saturday October 17 we finally got to see the show.
-
Spamalot is basically a re-telling of Monty Python and the Holy Grail--a low budget comedy movie that was made back in the early 1970s. It's a comedic retelling of the legend of King Arthur filtered through a peculiarly "Pythonesque" lens. All the humor fans loved is still here--along with a whole range of production numbers that bloom literally out of nowhere. (It IS a send-up of Broadway as well as the Arthurian legend after all.) All the scenes you loved from the movie are here--the French Taunters, the Vorpal Bunny and the Black Knight all turn up. So too does the music from the movie--Always Look On The Bright Side of Life and Brave Sir Robin.
-
With the exception of King Arthur (played to pompus perfection by John O'Hurley) and the Lady Of The Lake all the Actors play multiple roles. With the exception of O'Hurley they are all "no names"--or at the very least names I don't recognize. Still, they manage to make that "Python" convention work for them: they keep the pace lively so you never quite get a chance to fixate on the show's weak points. (More on that later.)
-
The Broadway Musical gets the Python treatment as well: huge production numbers pop out of literally nowhere (but at least that gives them an excuse to get a collection of scantily-clad chorus girls on stage.) The Song That Goes Like This exposes the structure of the "big" ballad that has anchored virtually every Broadway Musical since 1980 (and even manages to take a few shots at Andrew Lloyd Webber). In the end the "Fourth Wall" is gleefully shattered as the cast realizes they are IN a Broadway Play and a big, gushy "Broadway Wedding" finishes off the show.
-
There are a few spots that expose this as a "touring" production. Effects that were HUGE on the New York stage come off as small and a little cheap--but maybe that was an homage to the original material. (After all, the "Pythoners" only had a shoestring budget to work with.) Still, these moments are few and far between so you can forgive the show that. I also could have done with the cast waiting for the audience to finish laughing before they went on with their lines--but if they had the show probably would have run for an extra hour.
-
Spamalot is a must see for fans of Python and Broadway both. Yes, it's just a whipped-up confection of nothing but it's just FUN and a wonderful theatrical divertisment. GO SEE IT!!!
-
FINAL GRADE: A

A Movie In The Garden

2009-10-13T08:18:00.000-07:00

I chose In The Garden as today's fractal image because I saw a movie "in the garden." (Actually, it wasn't really a "garden" but read on and you'll see the connection.)
-
I've been hearing about "Victoria Gardens" since we moved to the I.E. but never gotten a chance to visit. Turns out the place is something of an upscale shopping center (at least by Riverside/San Bernadino standards). The colors are Tuscan-inspired (like most shopping centers these days) and the buildings have that textured contemporary style you see all over these days. The designers decided to do something different in their plan though--they put one-lane streets through the shops and lining them with parallel-parking spaces (to give the feeling of an old-style "Main Street." IMHO, this is a decidedly mixed blessing: parking close to your location (assuming you are lucky enough to find a space) costs and there are police patrolling the area looking for expired meters. Then you have the problem of pedestrians who simply don't pay attention to the cars--and that can lead to trouble.
-
We had a bit of a heart-stopping experience while we were trying to find some place to park. A young lady was busily texting away--looking neither left or right and not taking her eyes off her Blackberry (or whatever she was using) stepped out in front of us and we nearly ran her over. Luckily we were a bit lost so Robyn was creeping along so we were able to slam on the brakes and avoid an accident. (I don't even think this chica realized hwo close she came to being run over. Still, it threw a bit of cold water on our enthusiasm and we ended up not wanting to explore as much as we had intended.
-
Luckily, the AMC Theater was fairly cose to where we parked (and good signage helped direct us there quickly and efficiently). Couples Retreat was starting in about half an hour so we decided to see that. The plot is pretty predictable: four couples travel to paradise to "work on their relationships" which end up worse than when they arrived until things magically work themselves out and everyone ends up happily-ever-after. Vince Vaughn (one of the writers) plays video-game salesman Dave as a rehash of his character from Four Christmases (a snarky, self-involved schlub with an impossibly-hot wife). Jon Favreau is happily cheating on his wife (who is happily cheating on him). Jason Bateman is Jason--a control freak who is so uptight he creates "Power Point" presentations for everything. Faizon Love plays recently-divorced Shane (and how many fat black men do you know named Shane?) is still trying to get over his wife while hooking up with 20 year-old hottie Trudy. (And again, how many 20 year-old black girls do you know who are named Trudy?)
-
The movie starts slowly (so much so I fell asleep) and none of the characters are either original or all that likeable. The plot was completely contrived and there was nothing unexpected anywhere in the film: still, good charactes and lively acting can overcome the lamest plots--and they almost make it here. Still, once the movie got to Bora Bora the action picked up (and the scenery was nothing short of spectacular). Yes, there were a lot of laughs but I felt I was laughing AT characters rather than WITH them. There were some funny secondary characters who have good bits during the movie but they don't make a lot of impact.
-
In the end, I kinda liked the movie. Robyn liked the movie but didn't love it. Still, the audince (most twenty-to thirty-somethings) really seemed to enjoy it. If you are a fan of Vince Vaughn you should definitely run out to see Couples Retreat or you just have a pleasant afternoon to waste it's worth the price of a matinee ticket. Leave the kids at home because the language is raw and the situations might be a bit raw for youngsters.
-
FINAL GRADE: B-

Breathing New Life Into Classic Literature

2009-10-05T14:29:00.000-07:00

Today's post begins with a new fractal image called Ancient Artifact. I chose it mainly because it reprents something old--dare I even say classic. This image was one of the first I created with the reinstalled Mind Boggling Fractals program which breathed new life into my creating fractals. Maybe the post will help breathe some new life into classic literature.
-
Saturday morning Robyn and I were on our weekly shopping trip to Costco. We'd also decided to get our flu shots there that day (since they are less than anywhere else we could go). But we got to the store early (so we could find parking) and the flu shots didn't start for a while so we had time to kill. Being bibliophiles we both drifted over to the book section to see what was there. (Usually we don't find much since the store tends not to stock the type of material we're interested in reading but sometimes we unearth a gem.) This time we ran across a title called Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.
-
Those of you with at least a nodding acquaintance with English Literature know that Pride and Prejudice was one of the classic "Regency Romances" by Jane Austen. Once upon a time you couldn't have escaped a high-school lit. class without reading at least ONE Austen novel (or at least the Cliff Notes thereof). Now she, and her compatriots have rather fallen out of favor with everyone but a few young leadies of a certain temperment and Miramax Films. Still, these lush, potboilers were once considered high art and I think we may have lots something now that Jane and her cohorts have fallen out of fashion.
-
Seth Grahame-Smith, author of such dubious classics as How To Survive A Horror Movie and The Spider-Man Handbook came up with an ingenius way to update Pride And Prejudice--by adding zombies! I mean--really people--what musty old classic WOULDN'T be improved by a judicious addition of those loveable shuffling, undead brain-eaters? I can think of one--with the possible exception of Goodnight Moon (which is plenty creepy enough in its own right.) He also kicked up War Of The Worlds (by H.G. Wells) by adding "blood guts and zombies" there too--but for some reason thought "Sea Monsters" would be a better fit for Sense And Sensibility.
-
Personally, I think Seth is on to something here--or maybe just ON something. (Since I've never met the guy I can't make a value judgement.) Mister Grahame-Smith may have unwittingly created a literary cottage industry for himself by reinvigorating the classics. Of course zombies--lovable as they are--could grow stale afte a while. Why not go a bit further afield? On the off chance the author might really be "on something" I have thoughtfull provided a few suggestions for further novels. (Of course, proper remuneration should be forthcoming--but that's only a formality.) Without further ado--I submit these possibilities...
-
TOM SAWYER VAMPIRE HUNTER: there's no reason why Mark Twain's loveable scamp SHOULDN'T encounter Vampires in Hanibal Missouri. After all--they seem to be everywhere else...
-
HUCKLEBERRY FINN: THE ALIEN ABDUCTION TAPES: OK the anal probling might be a bit much for a few readers--but a few readers would really like it.
-
A TALE OF TWO CITIES AND NUCLEAR TERRORISM: yes, it walks away from "creatures of the night" but a good "nuclear attack" story can be a nice potboiler
-
TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD AND A ZOMBIE: really--what else do you need to say?
-
THE OLD MAN AND THE SEAMOSTER: that one is just obvious.
-
THE HOUSE OF SEVEN VAMPIRES: lets face it--Nathaniel Hawtorne needs all the hel[p he can get! Adding some ghouls or a zombie infestation to THE SCARLET LETTER wouldn't hurt either. (Anything but that ridiculous Demi Moore update!)
-
Why limit the idea to classic literature? Why not expand the idea to classic theater. Here are a few suggestions...
-
ROMEO AND JULIET: THE NIGHTSIDE CHRONICLES. Vampire Romeo falls in love with beautiful werewolf Juliet in this truly star-crossed romance. Likewise HAMLET would be vastly improved by having the dead characters "rise" and ravage the audience in traditional zombie fashion.
-
Since I'm mining Shakespeare why not reimagine a modern classic into ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN ARE ZOMBIES? You KNOW that would totally work on ANY stage!!!
-
Last but not last Disney has taken over Broadway--why not add a little zombie mayhem to MARY POPPINS or a sea monster attack in THE LITTLE MERMAID? Or how 'bout if TARZAN had been raised by a tribe of vampires? That would be truly cool!
-
Any or all of these would make WONDERFUL additions to classics of drama and literature. Think about it.
-
'nuff said.

Adventures In Customer (DIS)Service

2009-09-28T17:48:00.001-07:00

I chose Spinz 9 as the image for today's rant for several reasons. Like my story, it is long and convoluted and the color and shape suggest an orange. You'll find out why that's important in the next paragraph.
-
In the current economic climate you would think businesses and institutions would want to be raising their customer service standards rather than lowering them. Such doesn't seem to be the case with the Orange County Performing Arts Center, at least if you go by the experience we just had...
-
Earlier this year we got a flyer from the PAC touting the new Broadway Series. Since the package included Spamalot, Dream Girls and Young Frankenstein it was a foregone conclusion that we'd be buying. (They're also doing In The Heights, Xanadu and Spring Awakening but we don't care about those so much--and none of this information is relevant to the story anyway.) We ordered our tickets on Monday September 7. Then began the wait for our tickets...
-
Since the cash was withdrawn from our account with such alacrity we thought surely our tickets would arrive in a timely fashion. One week passed--no tickets. Two weeks passed--still no tickets. Three weeks passed (with the show being two weeks away) and the tickets STILL hadn't arrived so we decided we needed to call the PAC to find out what was up. I was a bit surprised to find they didn't have an 800 Number to call but since their primary customers are local I could sort of accept it. Still, we called and promptly reached "Voice Mail Hell". None of the choices they offered us related to our problem and there didn't seem to be a way to connect to a live operator. Not really having a choice we made a random choice and hoped for the best. It took HALF AN HOUR for someone in the Box Office to pick up.
-
Our Customer Service Agent Marquell (sp?) was nice enough and was willing to help out. Still, she couldn't tell us if, when, or where our tickets had been sent (although she WAS able to tell us we that our tickets had been paid for). She asked for a confirmation number (which I gave) but never asked for my name and address: I found this particularly surprising since I am clear NOT Robyn. She assured us that the tickets would be printed and sent out promptly. She then went on to tell us that should the tickets NOT arrive by October 16th we'd have call back YET AGAIN and they would have a set of tickets waiting for us at "Will Call."
-
Needless to say I found this less than 100% satisfactory: they didn't offer us a special number to call so should we have to phone them YET AGAIN I'll have to go through "Voice Mail Hell" a second time! I don't know if you've ever picked up tickets at "Will Call" but it's not fun: there's only one window and lines can get long. Also, for us at least, "Will Call" isn't convenient to our seats so we'll be fighting crowds to get to our seats. The PAC made no offer to call US back to make sure the problem was resolved (which makes me wonder whether the Center has so many ticketing errors that they CAN'T stay on top of the problem. Still, I suppose I should be grateful it wasn't any more difficult.
-
The Ahmundsen in Los Angeles and the Lyceum in San Diego both offer the same series and it really isn't that much further for us to drive, The experience left a bad taste in our mouths and we'll be thinking long and hard whether we want to buy the next series. We can only hope customer service improves...
-
'nuff said.

Another Act At The (Assembly) Circus

2009-09-10T16:10:00.001-07:00

I picked Circus Wheel as today's fractal mainly because this story is just too white-trash crazy to believe. It simply belongs at the circus. Here's the story...
-
Republican Congressman Mike Duvall who represents parts of Orange County--an outspoken conservative and defender of "family values"--was caught recorded on an open microphone discussing (in graphic detail) sexual affairs with two married women. (One of the women happens to be a lobbyist who frequently testifies before the Utility Committee--of which Duvall was Vice-Chairman) The comments were made at a hearing in July but didn't come to light until this week.
-
Needless to say, once the comments were made public Duvall was quick to resign his seat (amid rumors that one of his most powerful supporters was already out looking for a replacement.) You'd think that would be enough to end the problem but this scandal is going to go on for a while. There will be an investigation of his activities to see if the affair affected his voting record (Duvall's decisions were often in line with Sempra Energy--who employs the lobbyist he was supposedly involved with .) Will anything be proven? Only time will tell--but there are reports that Duvall was quite the "Player" in Sacramento and many thought it would only be a matter of time until his career imploded.
-
Duvall said in his Resignation comments: “I am deeply saddened that my inappropriate comments have become a major distraction for my colleagues in the Assembly. It would not be fair to my family, my constituents or to my friends on both sides of the aisle to remain in office. Therefore, I have decided to resign.” Later he claimed he made it all up as if somehow that made it all better. Nowhere in either of these statements did he apologize to the women he named.
-
Come on guy! Do you really think it's that much better to claim you like to talk dirty to other men? Does it somehow enhance your reputation with other Conservative Republican Lawmakers. (Assemblyman Jeff Miller of Corona is also in hot water with his own party for failing to report the comments.) Assuming you are telling the absolute truth you've trashed not only your own life but the lives of two innocent women. Do you even care about the damage you've done to them? Honestly, I doubt it by your conduct--but I could be wrong... Televised reports say Duvall's wife
aving none of it: she's locked him out of his own home.
-
For me though--there's a broader question. Why is it OK for these "family values" types to put on a show of morality (and condemning others for misdeeds) while acting like pigs? Why is it OK for other "family values" types to sit by while someone like Duvall makes a mokery of their stands? (Personally, I'm guessing it's because they don't really believe their own line or theses men think they are too far aboive commonplace things to be bothered.) Either way, Mike Duvall not only disrespected himself, his constituents, his party and good decent women everywhere. Assuming he's telling the truth he also disrespected two innocent women and publicly trashed their lives. Mike Duvall--you got everything you deserved--and more!
-
'nuff said

Ron And Robyn's Excellent Adventures In Auto Buying (or How Toyota Talked Us Into Buying A Honda

2009-09-08T06:43:00.000-07:00

You have to follow an association chain to see why I picked Metallic Crosses as the fractal for today's post. The basic shape of the image is round (recalling a wheel) and cars are made of metal (mostly). Buying a car takes lots of cash (thus gold and silver as in coin) so on with the rant!

Robyn and I come from the school of thought that says you keep a car until the upkeep and maintenance (gas, insurance and car repairs) outweighs the payments and upkeep of a new vehicle. Robyn's car has finally reached that point: "Snowflake" (my name for it) or "BBQ Western" (Robyn's) has serveed us well for a long time but it's time she goes to that big car lot in the sky.

We had a long list of requirements for what we wanted in a new vehicle. 1) the care must be reliable. (Adventures in Auto Repair isn't a game we enjoy playing.) 2) we need decent hauling capacity. (We don't have to haul bulky items often but when we do need to carry something we REALLY need the space.) 3) the cabin must have enough room for both of us to ride in comfort and be fairly easy to enter and exit. (As we get older and fatter this becomes ever more important to both of us.) Ideally we'd like something that is (at least somewhat) fuel efficient (since I believe we're never going to see truly cheap gas again and we'd like to make a slight move toward a "greener.) In the end that pretty much moved us in to full-sized sedans or baby SUVs. Oh, and price is definitely a consideration.

Several times over the past year we've rented a Kia Rondo to take for extended trips. (See above for why we didn't take the little car.) We found the Rondo to be the right combination of handling and space (plus being $5,000 less than a comparable Japanese vehicle we found it deserved consideration.) The vehicle is hardly stylish but the vehicle has everything we want in an affordable package. Even though I realize that K.I.A. is an acronym for "killed in action" we liked the vehicle enough that we thought we should throw it into the mix. Still, I was under the mistaken impression there wasn't a Kia Dealership within 40 miles we decided to confine ourselves to the "big three" Honda, Toyota and Nisan.

The Nisan dealership here in Corona isn't convenient to us (and we had a bad experience with another Nisan dealer several years ago) so we quickly knocked them out of contention. (Also, I think the new Altima is pretty butt-ugly and the Rogue hasn't gotten good reviews so we decided not to waste our time looking.) Honda Cars of Corona is about two miles from our home so we started there: we took a look at the new Accord but didn't care for the body styling or the fact the thing was so darn wide so we quickly dropped that off the list. The CRV had the right mix of things we needed in a vehicle and the gas mileage wasn't TOO bad for the size of the vehicle. Paul, our salesman was helpful and low key so we had a pretty good experience. I didn't love the body style but by and large the vehicle worked for us so we left with a good feeling.

Later that same day we went to Quality Toyota of Corona to look at the Camry and RAV-4. I can't say anything about the Camry that hasn't already been said. (It is the number-one selling car in the United States after all!) About the only thing I found to dislike about the Camry was the (seemingly) small trunk. Due to the "cash for clunkers" program they were very low on stock so there was only one drivable RAV-4 on the lot. I liked the vehicle a lot (slightly roomier than the CRV and better sight lines) but it became very obvious very quickly that there was something about Robyn seriously didn't like: we found out that we were test driving a V6 and the thing just had too much power for her. In the end they promised to let us know when they got some 4 cylinder models in to test.

Yesterday morning (September 7) we headed back to check out a four-cylinder RAV-4. Robyn was much more comfortable with this version of the RAV-4 although neither of us were convinced that the RAV-4 was what we wanted. We also ended up checking out the Scion xD (which is a slightly smaller version of the RAV-4). We thought it had a nice body style and we were strangely charmed by the acid green paint job. (You won't see too many other cars like that in a crowded parking lot!) The xD gets better gas mileage than the RAV-4 and there was enough room for the haulage we'd need. It wasn't TOO overloaded with goodies (and was $5,000 less than its larger cousin.) There was ALMOST enough room for me (plenty of head room, adequate leg room and even room for my tummy. Sadly, I couldn't find a comfortable place to put my arms: I spent the whole test drive doing the "HIndhi-Cindi" trying to find a comfortable place to put my hands. We quickly came to the conclusion that this one just wasn't going to work...

We were about ready to head home when I thought why don't we see if they have a "newer" used car? That way we'll avoid eating the depreciation and we'll still get a good car. Wonder of wonders they did! They took us over to a 2007 RAV-4 that was a thousand bucks more than the 2009 model we'd just driven! They told us this was a "Sport" model (upgraded interior, stereo, and fancy-schmancy wheels. Still, the interior was solid black (NOT a good thing for a desert climate!) It was nice but neither of us wanted to make a deal. Still, when our salesman said, "let us run some numbers" I agreed to it. (Stupid me!)

Thus began the part of car buying I truly HATE! Running the credit check didn't take long and it told me about what I expected to hear. Robyn's credit score is OK, not great due largely to some bills that went astray during our move last year. (Late payments stay on your credit report for three years--and they really bring the score down!) After we sat and waited for about forty minutes they came back with a deal that was nothing short of shocking. ($450 monthly payments FOR FIVE YEARS and that was after a proposed $10,000 down payment and a $4,500 rebate from Toyota.) We said we weren't going to do that and suddenly the monthly payments dropped to $350. When we wouldn't go for that we brought in the big guy. (His name was Juan and he was determined to make the deal.)

He was all "lets get this deal started" but Robyn and I both had stated quite plainly WE WOULDN'T BE BUYING A CAR that day! Every time we'd tell him "no" he'd come up with another suggestion...

"Can you come up with a thousand dollars now?"

"NO!"

"What if we delayed for first payment for 55 days? You can take the car now..."

"NO!"

"Can you--?"

"NO!"

What about--?"

"NO!"

"Would you like us to--?"

-
"NO!

"We could--?"

"NO! NO! NO!" What part of "no" don't you guys understand? We have always been up front about the fact that we intended to go through Costco for our financing and the deal itself (although we'd let Toyota see if they could come up with a better deal) It was frustrating and frankly it annoyed both of us to the point where we won't be buying a Toyota (or at least from that Toyota dealership.

In the end though--we DID learn some valuable lessons. We learned NOT to go to a car dealership without first having our financial ducks in a row and we also learned to never, Never, NEVER let a car dealer "run some numbers." Our quest to buy a new (or a newer used) car continues and I will no doubt be writing Ron And Robyn's Excellent Adventures In Auto Buying: Part Deux sometime in the coming weeks. Stay tuned. But until then...

'nuff said.

Now That Disney Has Taken Over Marvel Comics...

2009-08-31T14:07:00.000-07:00

I chose Fandango as today's post because the fractal is a fanciful image and this post is a mere flight of fancy. The image is purely "fun"--as I hope this post will be. (Frankly, I could use a little lighthearted amusement in my life these days.) SO--let's dive in, shall we?

The entertainment world was abuzz today (August 31) with the announcement that the Walt Disney Company will be acquiring Marvel Comics. Execs at Disney feel this is a good move because Marvel characters appeal primarily to boys while the Disney characters are skewed largely toward young girls. (Yes parents, Disney will soon own the collective psyches of ALL your children!) Shares of Marvel Comics jumped $10 on the news (and you can be sure Disney would never have made the deal if they didn't feel it would enhance their bottom line). Still, if f you the business details go look them up for yourself: this post is about something more frivolous. Read on and you'll find otu what...

Marvel and Disney are both NOTORIOUs for cross-promotion: that got me thinking--now that Marvel and Disney are under the same roof it's only a matter of time before Marvel and Disney characaters start being featured together. Being a fan of both Disney AND Marvel Comics I came up with a few ideas...

Marvel's version of Hercules and the other Olympian Gods is replaced by the animated Disney version. Herc juins the Avengers and Phil the Satyr comes along as team trainer.

Ariel the Little Mermaid, is revealed to be the long-lost cousin of Prince Namor--the Sub-Mariner. Subby has to lose is fish-scale speedo and a lot of his angst while Ariel becomes more edgey.

Mulan becomes th new incarnation of Mantis and becomes one of the core members of the World Avengers.

Doctor Strange adds Ursula the Sea Witch, Malefecent and the Wicked Queen to his rogues gallery. Clea becomes an apprentice to the Blue Fairy...

Kitty Pryde becomes Disney's first Jewish-American Disney Princess.

The Beast batles Hulk for the heart of Belle in the 12-part maxi-series It's Not Easy Being Green. Kermit D Frog guest stars.

Scrooge McDuck becomes Chairman of the Board of Stark Enterprises--and has his own battle suit made. He becomes Iron Duck!

Wanda Maximoff (the Scarlet Witch) becomes tutor to the kids of the Wizards of Waverly Place in the new comic Witch and the Wizards.

Sue Storm takes yet another leave of absense from the Fantastic Four and is replaced by Minnie Mouse.

Marvel/Disney releases their new flagship title, The New Inhumans--Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy, Lockjaw and Tinkerbell.

Hannah Montana fronts a band called The New Mutants--super-powered rock-and-rollers who fight crime while making radio-friendly pop-rock ballads. (Of course, Hannah will be re-cast since Miley Cyrus is too old and too famous to play the part any longer.)

Captain America (Steve Rogers) becomes on of the instructors at Camp Rock...

So Marvel/Disney (Msney? Divel?), there are a few suggestions for your characters. Use any or all--but remember where you got them from. I'm available to write or produce the product. Call me!

'nuff said

An Idea For A New Charity

2009-08-24T06:47:00.000-07:00

I chose Garter as the image for today's post. Read on and I think it will become pretty obvious.
-
Today's economy has had a devastating effect on all of us. Needs grow as funds shrink and everyone is feeling the pinch. Breast cancer research, ALS, Muscular Dystrophy and a host of other causes all are in dire need. But you know about those: I'm here to tell you about a little-known and less-respected group who have been hit and hit hard by the economic downturn. Sexy people. Yes, sexy people everywhere are silently suffering and need your help.
-
For example...
-
Tiffini, age 26, of Las Vegas Nevada is reeling under the crushing debt she incurred purchasing her 48 "Double D's". This platinum-Blondie temptress cries herself to sleep night after night in her penthouse overlooking the strip because she lacks the basic necessities to get her through the night. Your contribution could buy her some new pasties and a G-string. Enough money could even get her an in-house stripper pole.
-
Solange, age 31, of South Hampton New York is faced with the difficult decision of selling off her jewelery or getting a real job to meet the payments on her trendy beach cottage and her Mercedes. Since the stock market has taken a major hit her "sugar daddy" has been much less generous--depriving this poor beauty of the basic needs. Your dollars could save Solange and countless other golddiggers just like her from the horror of having to buy retail. Won't you help her buy those fierce Jimmy Chou pumps and that too cute Kate Spade bag?
-
And it's not just sexy women who are feeling the pinch...
-
Giovanni, age unknown, currently residing in Miami is finding it harder and harder to lead the life of a gigolo. Body-waxing, visits to Sunset Tan and the gym don't come cheap and having "fashion-forward" clothing, ride and getting in to the right clubs and restaurants can't be done without greasing a lot of palms. Giovanni is at a critical juncture in his life: your generous contribution can keep him where he belongs--in the beds of wealthy, older businessmen.
-
Last, there is the particularly sad case of Chad, Age 32, currently residing in Newport Beach California. Chad clawed his way up through the mean scene that is the Chippendale's empire until he became a lead dancer. But age has taken it's toll" there's a bump in his grind that wasn't there when he was 26--and it's only a matter of time before someone new takes his place. Still, Chad has a lot of years of "sexy" left in him: with your help he can keep "hangin' with his buds" on the beach and not have to face that realities of life.
-
And that's where our charity--Sexy People In Need comes in. Wherever there are sexy people in need--we're there! Be it a club in Vegas, the beaches of Miami, "Nude" Juice Bars in Orange County, a peep show in San Francisco or a summer cottage in the Hamptons--S.P.I.N. in there to provide lingerie and luxuries and anything else these poor overlooked people might need.
-
Why should I contribute? you may ask. Don't these people simply attract help by the mere fact they ARE sexy? All too often the sexy suffer in silence while those who COULD help leave them alone--thinking somebody else is taking care of the need. Now is your golden opportunity to assist some of the most desperate in our society. Not only would they be forever grateful--they might even give you a lap dance! So give and give generously! Remember--Sexy People In Need--put a new S.P.I.N. on your giving...
-
'nuff said.

A Few Comments On National Health Care

2009-08-12T14:51:00.001-07:00

Hole In My Heart seemed like a singularly appropriate metaphor for our damaged heath care system so I chose as the image for today's post. There isn't much else which can be said so on with today's rant...
-
I don't have the answers to fix the health care situation in the United States but one thing I think we can ALL agree upon--whether we're Democrat or Republican--the system is broken and it needs to be fixed before it drags the entire economy down. Some people lay the blame at the feet of illegal immigrants and that may be a contributing factor but there is a lot more going on. Not so long ago when inflation was at record lows medical costs were going up by over twenty per cent a year. Seems rather odd--doesn't it? At the same time insurance companies raise their premiums, reduce their benefits and pay outs to doctors and hospitals. One company went so far as to structure bonuses for employees in proportion to the number of claims they could deny. (It's all a matter of public record folks if you take the time to look for the facts.)
-
Now we have a proposal for universal health care in the United States and, judging by the reaction from a lot of quarters, you'd think that men, women and children were being kidnapped off the streets to be gassed in concentration camps. Is the President's plan a good one? I don't know--I haven't read the 900 PAGE document and I'm not sure I'd understand it if I did. (Frankly, I'm not sure anyone could understand the thing completely.) Here's what I find particularly disturbing though--and that's the number of people who seem to want to stop debate by shouting and causing disturbances. What disturbs me more is people who should know better like Sarah Palin (bless her pointy little head) bringing up things like "death panels" when she knows (or ought to before she opens her mouth) that this simply IS NOT TRUE. A lot of right wing pundits are spreading all sorts of irresponsible stories about the national health care plan but that's a rant for another blog.
-
Here is what I DO know for a fact...
-
Almost 40% of the population of our country is uninsured or under insured. Because they have no or restricted access to medical care they end up in Emergency Rooms for treatment of every problem large or small. (The results of this are obvious.)
-
For those of you who ARE covered you probably don't have as much coverage as you think you do. For those of you who follow this blog you know all too well about the illness of Robyn's father: he worked hard all his life and had a good retirement--until his illness. His coverage ran out early and he ended up paying the bulk of his medical bills himself. Lucky for us he had a goodly amount of savings but he burned through a good portion before he finally died.
-
The United States is the only developed nation WITHOUT universal health care coverage. Reports vary on the quality of the health care but virtually all countries offer private-pay options for those who choose to opt out of the government program.
-
When you trace back the source of complaints against the current health care proposal it leads directly back to insurance companies and their executives. (If Universal Health Care passes insurance companies--and the folks who run them--won't be making nearly as much money.)
-
A lot of the criticism of the Universal Health Care bill is coming from less-than-creditable sources. The famous "line-by-line" critique (which came out mere DAYS after the bill) was created by the Liberty Council--a "think tank" sponsored by Jerry Falwell. (I haven't read their critique either but I consider the source.)
-
In the end all I can ask is that everyone look beyond their favorite TV news cast and search out the facts. Maybe this health care bill ISN'T the answer but something has to be done and sooner rather than later.

"Half Blood Prince" Brings Magic To "Harry Potter" Fans

2009-07-20T09:51:00.000-07:00

"Circles" and "Pentacles" are both powerful magical symbols so it only seems reasonable to select Circle Of Pentacles as the fractal image for the review of Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince. WARNING: the review will be quite short.
-
What can you say about the sixth movie in a series that hasn't already been said? Not a lot (hence this very short review). Fans who love the series will keep loving it and turn out in droves to see the movie. (Worldwide audiences boosted the latest "Potter" offering to 100 Million in the first day). If you aren't a fan you won't go (unless forced) and you won't care one way or another. I'm an unabashed Harry Potter fan so I'm likely to stick with the series to the bitter end (even if it becomes complete and utter crap).
-
Make no mistake--Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince is hardly "crap" in any way, shape or form. The tone is dark and foreboding (show by the muted colors of the movie) and, while there is humor, it is low-key and none too prominent. Sadly, it is getting harder and harder with each passing movie to believe three leads as teenagers (Rupert Grint and Emma Watson in particular). Still everyone does a fine job and you can forgive their age. As usual the FX and costumes are first class and wonderfully realized--perfect for the movie.
-
The movie runs over two hours but it felt rushed through most of the movie. Still, considering the source material, if they tried making the whole book into a movie it would be a twelve hour miniseries. Even so, I often wished I had re-read the book before seeing the movie as I found myself going "say what?" in spots. Several subplots were dropped and many of the secondary characters got only the briefest time on screen or failed to make an appearance at all. (Again, I understood there were time constraints to deal with.) Fans will understand and forgive--but anyone else probably wouldn't want to try jumping on the bandwagon at this point.
-
FINAL GRADE: B+

Latest "Ice Age" Leaves Me A Little Cold

2009-07-13T08:24:00.001-07:00

A review of the latest "Ice Age" movie requires a fractal with "cold" or "ice in the title: this one has both so enjoy Cold As Ice as today's cookie.
-
Movie makers know not to met with a good things (or at least something that brings in the dollars). For good or ill, Ice Age: Dawn Of The Dinosaurs doesn't depart from the formula that made this franchise such a huge success. You got your sitcom characters, plot and dialog, gorgeous animation and a few "danger" sequences thrown in--in other words everything you liked (or disliked) about the first two "Ice Age" movies. All your favorite characters are back with a new character (more on that later) and dinosaurs too! What more could one want?
-
Incipient father Manny the Mammoth (voiced by Ray Romano--reprising his character from Everybody Love Raymond) is going a bit crazy waiting for his mate Ellie (Queen Latifa) to give birth. Diego the Sabertooth Tiger (Dennis Leary) is worried about getting older and Sid the Sloth (John Leguizamo) has his heart in the right place but his head firmly up his--you knwo... Sid finds some eggs and decides to raise them as his own--but they are T-Rex eggs. Manny tells Sid to take the eggs back but he keeps them and when the eggs hatch--he has three hungry baby T-Rexs! Only then does Sid decide to take the little critters home--a "world within a world" filled with dinosaurs and wild adventure. Scrat the hapless squirrel returns for more hapless adventures with his acorn and this time he has a girl squirrel to contend with: these wordless sequences are probably the best and most original part of the movie.
-
Buck the weasel (voice of Simon Pegg--crossing Captain Ahab and Steve Irwin the Crocodile Hunter) serves as guide to the hapless crew from the ice age world above. (He's also from the world above but has lived in the new world below for years.) He's completely and apologetically bonkers--and probably the best thing about the third offering. Sadly, Buck won't be joining the "Ice Age" crew for a fourth installment if/when they make it.
-
If you liked the first to "Ice Age" movies you'll probably enjoy the third installment. I found it pleasant enough but I didn't love it. (The sitcom characters, plot and dialog are kind of getting to me after three movies...) The movie is pretty and harmless fun for the whole family. Parents can take their kids and enjoy the gags without worrying about having to explain some jokes. You don't need to run to the multiplex to see this but it's a pleasant diversion for a hot weekend afternoon.
-
FINAL GRADE: B

The King (Of Pop) Is Dead. Yadda, Yadda...

2009-07-07T08:37:00.000-07:00

Whenever I comment on matters (even remotely) religious I usually end up going to the "Stained Glass" fractal series to pick the image for the post. This time I chose Stained Glass 59 because it's black and white (like one of Michael Jackson's songs). Surely you didn't think I could resist commenting on the circus that is the "King of Pop's" Memorial, did you?
-
Let me begin with a confession: I'm not much of a Michael Jackson fan. I like his music enough that I don't change stations when one of his songs comes on the radio (but not enough to buy one of his albums). I appreciate what he did for the art of music videos and "breaking the color barrier" on MTV. That being said, I was saddened by the strange and scandalous turn his life took--not to mention his seeming desire to turn himself into a living, breath "anime" character. Like every other person on the planet who wasn't living under a rock I knew way too much about his personal life (and I blame both him and the mass media for that). I was a bit saddened and surprised to hear of his death on June 26th just on the eve of his big comeback tour. I wasn't really surprised by the ridiculous media coverage--at least at first. But now a week has passed and it's still "all Michael Jackson ALL THE TIME on pretty much any channel you turn to.
-
That was over a week ago. Today ABC, CBS, FOX and NBC are broadcasting the Memorial Service (which seems a bit like overkill to me). CNN and Fox News are also broadcasting the thing. It's almost as if a real "King" had died! (Elvis Presley didn't get near this much coverage when he was buried!) Galavision, Telemundo and Univision AREN'T broadcasting the ceremony (no big surprise there) but, then again, neither is E! Entertainment Television--the network most likely to cover something of this nature. (They aren't even running any Michael Jackson-related specials.
-
Maybe I've become jaded or hard-hearted but this nonstop coverage is REALLY starting to annoy me! I don't need to hear extended chats with backup dancers who worked with "MJ" on the Thriller video (and never saw him again) or the girl who got to go out with him when he was on The Dating Game when he was fourteen! I wouldn't be fighting for a spot at the funeral (and wouldn't even go to Staples Center if someone gave me a ride!) Of course at this point in my life I wouldn't do that for anybody (but I'm embracing my curmudgeonliness). Why the furor for a guy who just made records? It just leaves me baffled...
-
I can respect him as an artist but the whole thing is just so completely and utterly over the top that I can't even begin to fathom it. We have real problems that are getting no attention: California is still without a budget, North Korea is firing missiles (and working on developing nuclear warheads) and the United States is still in the middle of an economic crisis of truly epic proportions and a mess in the Middle East that we may never get out of--and none of it gets covered. Even Sarah Palin's resignation barely registered on the news. There's something wrong with our news media (or us as consumers) if we allow this to happen. The Michael Jackson story is way past its expiration date. Time to let it fade away...
-
'nuff said.

This "Hangover" Left Us Blue

2009-07-06T07:57:00.001-07:00

I had several reasons for choosing today's fractal image. 1) the image, like the movie, is largely "blue". 2) the action takes place mostly over one night. 3) there's a wedding involved (hence the cross). 4) Robyn and I got "crossed up" at the theater. So--because of all that, I chose NightStar as the fractal for my review of The Hangover.
-
The Hangover was expected to do OK but not "boffo" business at the Box Office. The movie turned out to get good reviews and was Number One for two weeks running (against some pretty stiff competition). Still, I knew this wasn't Robyn's kind of movie so I resigned myself not to see it. And then there was yesterday...
-
We had Edwards discount tickets (bought Friday at Costco). We were planning to see the latest "Ice Age" movie so we headed off to our favorite theater at Corona Crossings. Imagine our surprise when we discovered the movie wasn't playing there! (Thank You Press-Enterprise idiots who didn't deliver our paper for THREE DAYS!) There was only one movie we hadn't seen that we could kindasorta agree on. That was The Hangover: we bought our tickets, went inside and hoped for the best. It has been out for almost a month but there were still a few other people in the audience. (This becomes important later.)
-
The story is relatively simple: groom Doug Billings (Justin Bartha) goes off to Las Vegas with his three Friends--"smooth operator Phil (Bradley Cooper) whipped Stu (Ed Helms) and Alan (Zach Gallifanakis) who has a whole host of unfunny problems. Phil, Stu and Alan wake up in a spectacularly trashed suite to find Doug missing with them having no clue as to what happened. What follows is an extended series of painful vignettes that simply aren't funny.
-
None of the characters are particularly likable and the jokes and situations simply aren't that funny. Yes, we cringed a lot--both we both managed only a could of very small chuckles. The language is VERY blue and the physical humor is crass and gross. (There was way too much "butt" humor at the expense of fat and old people--although being both things I may be particularly sensitive.) Ken Jeong (as Mr. Chow) played a character that I couldn't decide was more offensive to gays or Asian nerds. (IMHO both groups should sue him and the movie for defamation of character--it was that bad.) You know you're in a sad situation when the only (halfway) likable character is a hooker (played by Heather Graham). At least there was some half-way coute stuff running with the closing credits.
-
Robyn and I loathed this movie so much we would have walked out half way through had we not had people on both sides of us). Still, we must have been in the minority: the theater was half full and everyone else seemed to be laughing a lot. I've enjoyed movies like Wedding Crashers and even Zack And Miri Make A Porno so obviously I'm no prude. Dunno what anyone else saw in the movie but I thought it was complete and utter crap.
-
FINAL GRADE: F+