So you want to be an actor?

From One Festival To Another OR Please Take My Two Minute Survey

2008-07-04T10:50:00.002-04:00

Well, the Fringe Festival is over and I've already jumped head first into another one of Ottawa's summer spectacles: Bluesfest.

I'll be spending the next two weeks on site getting little surveys filled out by people who purchased tickets to the festival.

It's a pretty sweet gig. Not only do I get a free pass to all the concerts, but I get paid for it too. It's also a great way to get into some new music. Last night, I was stationed at the Rogers stage where Matt Mays and El Torpedo were playing. Before they even got to Cocaine Cowgirl, I was hooked.

What is it about a guitar that makes a skinny guy with long greasy hair and five days worth of stubble look like the sexiest man alive? Is it the way he holds it, both delicately and forcefully at the same time? Or did Les Paul have some kind of Austin Power-esque mojo that he bottled up and had sprayed into every single one of his instruments?

The people I get to take the surveys are an interesting bunch. Some people want to talk to you too much, like this guy who wanted to find out how to get his date to go to a hotel with him when asked about accomodations during Bluesfest (oh and his least favorite thing about Bluesfest? The fact that his date didn't have a twin sister...), while others won't talk to you at all. One girl I approached turned her back on me and walked away. Sheesh. You could have just said you weren't interested instead of being rude.

I'm having fun though. I may even get to see Feist tonight!

Random Facebook Musings

2008-07-03T10:02:00.002-04:00

I really like the status updates for facebook. Twice now, I've gone looking for stuff and twice now one of my 600+ friends had the required item.

Nancy is looking for a ladies motorcycle jacket - Boom! There it is.

Nancy is looking for a cheap copy of Microsoft Office Professional - Boom! Again.

I'm a strong believe in the ask the universe and you shall receive line of thought.

Let's see how this one works out:

Nancy is looking for a multi-million dollar movie deal...

Post Show Blues

2008-07-02T09:11:00.003-04:00

The Ottawa Fringe Festival concluded this past Sunday and, thanks to an oddly placed holiday during the week, it hasn't really hit me until now. It's typical to feel a slight crash after a show, but I think it may be worst after the Fringe Festival.

Though it was hard going to work every day with the festival on, I really didn't mind it because I was pumped about the night ahead. How often can you perform in two shows in one night, see two other shows, and then sit down with a very large group of like-minded individuals, drinking beer and talking about art? On one night, karaoke was even included.

I love the atmosphere that comes along with the Fringe. I always find it very inspiring. I met an 18 year old girl who was appearing in her own one-woman show, her third since the age of 16. I met mothers who manage to juggle their artistic endeavors with familial obligations. I met people who take their shows across Canada (and sometimes the world) and spend the vast majority of the year on the road.

They all make it look so easy and fun (though I know it's more fun than easy).

So now I am back at work and wondering what comes next. I envy the many performers I met who are living the true life of an artist and are free from the shackles of the 9 to 5 lifestyle. Though I'm sure many of them would be more than happy with my paycheck (which will be increasing shortly thanks to a promotion I've just received), I don't think any of them would trade it in to lose out on doing what they love.

I guess in the end it's all about perspective. There are lots of great things in my immediate future. On top of getting a promotion at work, tomorrow I start a job at Bluesfest, another cool festival in town. I'll be doing surveys for a large pocketful of cash and access to all the festival events and headliners. If you see me hanging around a venue, stop by, say hi, and take a minute to fill out my questionnaire.

I'm really looking forward to shooting a film for two weeks in August, my first real paid gig. Also, Evolution Theatre got a lot of great press and sold out many shows during the Fringe. We broke even early on, which means we'll actually get a little bit of coinage for the work we did. Evolution's next show will be in September and I will be taking care of publicity for that one.

After that though, I'm not too sure. I've had a few auditions for stuff in October, but I don't know if any of it will pan out. It may be a perfect time for me to go visit a friend in Japan. Or write some stuff. Or take lessons to brush up on new skills.

Who knows where the wind blows...

Halfway Through the Fringe

2008-06-25T12:25:00.004-04:00

Well, we are now past the midway point of the Fringe and its been pretty exciting so far. Evolution Theatre has had 5 shows so far and 3 of them have sold out! We've also gotten some great reviews from both the CBC Radio and on the Ottawa Fringe website.
And somehow, with all that, I've also managed to see 10 plays.

So what would I recommend (besides my show, of course)?

Well, I definitely think people should check out Sorrow in the Studio Leonard-Beaulne. Don't let the title fool you. This is a beautiful, touching and sometimes funny piece written by Alan Jeans, directed by Teri Loretto, and starring Lisa Twardowska. The story follows a fictitious account of the real life of Clasina Maria Hoornik (also known as Sien), prostitute, model, and mistress of the painter Vincent Van Gogh. As she prepares to drown herself Sien vividly re-lives her journey from the innocence of her youth to the depths of her ultimate sorrow.

Also, you are a fool if you miss out on Die Roten Punkte, an absolutely hilarious spoof (dear God, I hope it was a spoof!) of the punk-rock music scene with these two german sibblings. I can't even really put into words what this show is about. Just know that it was incredibly funny and deservedly won for best production at the Montreal Fringe Festival.

The Wedding Night is a great little script (sort of Norm Foster meets Sex in the City) and I thought that Kate Smith and Joe Marques had wonderful chemistry together on stage.

Finally, A Leave of Absinthe is worth a look. It is still a work in progress, but I found many aspects of the show to be very interesting. They also got some pretty great reviews from the CBC and the Ottawa Citizen.

The Fringe continues until this Sunday night so make sure you get out there and see some theatre!

Ottawa Fringe - Day 1 Wrap Up / Day 2 Preview

2008-06-20T08:46:00.004-04:00

I messed up my Sudoku schedule game already. Note to self: use a pencil, not a pen.
Last night was the first night of shows for the Fringe. Since we were holding our dress rehearsal, I realized I probably wouldn't be able to see anything but an 11pm show.
Well, I forgot that I needed to be at CKCU for 7:15am this morning to do an interview about This Is A Play (which was awesome and will be posted on our Facebook Group as soon as I get the file!) so I had to choose sleep over plays... I guess I'm getting old since I'm not as hard core as I used to be.
I was also planning on seeing Without A Clue at 6:30pm tonight since it has a great cast and is a throwback to one of my favorite board games turned into a movie, Clue (take that Untitled Monopoly Project!)
But since my call time is set for 7pm and I really need that time to do my hair and get focused, I am going to go check out This Is A Very Old Story. It seems interesting because, not only is it taking place outdoors but, it's also on STILTS! I missed these guys when they performed last year at the Fringe and the Magnetic North Theatre Festival.
Then, after my second performance tonight, I will be watching Vision Theatre's One Acts by David Ives at 11pm (I get to sleep in tomorrow, so watch out!)

So I have a pretty busy night ahead of me and I love it! The Fringe is a wonderful time of year in Ottawa.

Happy fringing and I'll see you at the tent!

So You Wanna Fringe It Up?

2008-06-19T16:54:00.003-04:00

First of all, get yourself one of the handy dandy fringe programs and skip strait to the center schedule. This is your new best friend!

Then decide which one of my shows you're going to go see.

Now, be ready to play a krazy game of Sudoku.

Trust me on this one. You'll pick a show at 11pm. Then realize that another show you really want to see is also playing at 11pm. So you try to figure out what other timeslot works best for either show. And so on and so forth until you realize someone is going to be pissed you missed adding their show to your schedule... so you have to go back and start all over again...

I have dress rehearsal tonight so I probably can only make it out to an 11pm show. It's just a matter of deciding which one. Will it be Judith Shakespeare, Trashcan Duets or Hey Bartender? All of them are 2 for 1.

Decisions, decisions...

It has only just begun!

I Just Wanted To Be An Actor...

2008-06-16T10:34:00.002-04:00

That's it. I just wanted to act. I wanted to audition for stuff and get cast in other people's projects and that would be that.

However, I realized recently, that it was not meant to be for me.

No no, I'm not saying I'm giving up acting (it's not that time of the month yet). What I am saying is that I won't just be an actor. I'll always be involved in some other way as a producer, a publicist, a set builder, a front of house crew, a writer, a director maybe, and/or whatever else might need to be done to achieve my goal to act. I'm always going to get my hands dirty.

And I think I am finally ok with that.

************************
Speaking of getting my hands dirty, the Ottawa Fringe Festival is quickly approaching! I am serving double duty as actor and publicist for Evolution Theatre's presentation of Daniel MacIvor's This Is A Play.

You can check out the schedule here and even buy your tickets online!

Please note, you have to have a 2$ Fringe pin to attend any shows at the festival. Also, our venue only seats about 30 people so come early enough to get your seat!

If you have Facebook...

2008-06-11T14:07:00.003-04:00

The Ottawa Fringe has this wonderful little Facebook application that let's you sign up for the shows you want to see and invite your friends to see the show with you.

I definitely recommend you get it here: http://apps.facebook.com/ottawafringe/home/

Be sure to add This Is A Play to your viewing schedule!

Coming Soon To Your Friendly Neighbourhood Fringe:

2008-06-05T10:48:00.003-04:00

The Ottawa Fringe Festival is coming up soon, and I'm very excited. I think the Summer Camp theme they've got going on this year is appropriate since that's always how I saw it. You show up, drink, play, make friends for ten days and then your mom picks you up and you don't see them again until next year.

I will definitely try to see as many shows as I possibly can. Some local stuff that I'm looking forward to right now (and this list is by no means complete) include The Wedding Night by Silent Quemb Productions, Without a Clue by Enigma Productions, Vision Theatre's night of One Acts by David Ives, and A Leave of Absinthe with mutatis mutandis.

And of course, you just have to check out Evolution Theatre's latest offering (which also stars yours truly):

Daniel MacIvor's This Is A Play
Directed by Chris Bedford

Starring:
Scott Goldman
Nancy Kenny
Kel Parsons

Show Dates and Times:
Friday, June 20th - 8 p.m. (2 for 1 Tickets) and 9:30 p.m.
Saturday, June 21st - 2 p.m. and 8 p.m.
Sunday, June 22nd - 7 p.m.
Wednesday, June 25th - 8 p.m.
Thursday, June 26th - 10 p.m.
Friday, June 27th - 8 p.m. and 9:30 p.m.
Saturday, June 28th - 2 p.m. and 8 p.m.
Sunday, June 29th - 6:30 p.m.

We are located in Studio 311, which is on the third floor of the U of O Theatre Building - right above two other official fringe venues and mere seconds from the beer tent!

Tickets are $10 at the door.

They can also be purchased in advanced at the Fringe Office OR ONLINE!.

Discount festival passes may also be purchased.

Visit www.ottawafringe.com for details.

See you at the Fringe!

Random Ramblings and Internal Debates

2008-06-03T13:40:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I think I may be a robot.

First of all, I like schedules and knowing exactly what I will be doing, when and where for almost every minute of every day. I like predictability and have trouble adjusting to change. I get annoyed if someone happens to be using my "usual" stall in the bathroom at work...

When learning a new song, I usually do so by ear. Every note, every rythm, every twang in the voice, I faithfully copy and repeat without any modifications or adjustments to make it my own. I'm an excellent mimic. The end result is then flat, colourless... robotic.

I realized last night that I also do this when I'm acting. It's as if I don't want to consider it an art form, but a science with formulas and absolutes.
Something like: Acting = Lines + Blocking + Emotional Motivation

This is serious stuff. It is work and I want to be taken seriously. Tell me how you want it to be done and I will do it exactly that way without originality or fun or deviation from the chosen path... And the end result was flat, lifeless, robotic.

I know better. My head knows better. But somehow my wires seem to be crossed and I can't connect what's in my head to the rest of my body. Instead of true human behavior, I end up with an imitation of human behaviour.

Or maybe I'm just a human who wants to be a robot. A human who shuts herself down so she doesn't have to be brave and really feel something human because humans are imperfect and insecure and easily get hurt.

Nah, that sounds too deep. I probably shouldn't be watching so much Battlestar Galactica before I go to bed...

0.57

2008-05-29T12:57:00.002-04:00

Lately, I'm not sure why, I've been toying with the idea of going back to school. Getting a Master's degre is something that has always been running around in the back of my head, especially if I could do my thesis on one particular aspect of the theatre that touches me on a deeply personal level.

Because I would love to do my thesis on theatre in the acadian culture, I always thought my only option would be l'Université de Moncton. However, a move to Moncton just does not appeal to me at the moment. With the addition of a new MA program at the U of O and their additional focus on francophone culture, I started thinking well, why not here and now?

I had been reading in the papers that the university was adding money to their graduate scholarship programs which I thought might work for me. Unfortunately, to gain access to these scholarships, you need at least an 8.0 GPA. I'm off by at least 0.57

No scholarship for me.

I left my undergrad with over 40K in debt which I am nowhere near done paying off. Now being a home-owner, I don't think I'm ready to get even deeper into more of that.

If anyone has any suggestions, I would love to hear them.

Faith/Fate

2008-05-08T14:49:00.004-04:00

If you've been reading along, you've probably been wondering what crawled up my shorts, died, and started rotting there to make me seem so cranky and pessimistic.

To be honest with you, though I've vented some pretty negative posts, and I felt that way in the moment, I don't feel that way all the time.

In all actuality, I'm quite hopeful about life in general. It may sound corny, but I do believe that everything happens for a reason, that we make mistakes and go through rough patches to learn what it is we truly want out of life.

There are a lot of great things happening in my life right now. I own my own home. My theatre company had a successful season opener and I will be appearing in our Fringe show this summer. I've been helping another friend out with pre-production work on his short film which will be shooting in August and in which he wants me to take the lead. Unlike other times people have told me they've wanted me in their film, this one is actually going to happen.

So what if I'm not nailing every audition I've been going to. Maybe there's a reason for that. Maybe my time is suppose to be free for something else. Or maybe, I'm suppose to realize that there are other areas of my life that need my attention...

Whatever it is, I believe that everything in my life is going to work out (is working out) to be the best for me.

*****************
Said The Universe to Nancy:

"Do you have any idea how many princesses have gone unrecognized by their prince, because of logic? Or, how many princes have gone unrecognized by their princess, because of pride?

How many dreams were dashed when the handmaiden answered the door? Or when the gatehouse was mistaken for the mansion? Or when the calm before the storm of abundance and good fortune was viewed as a sign to retreat?

Happily, we've got forever and ever. And fortunately, it's never too late to see what one's missed, remain focused on the dream instead of the "hows," and move with unwavering faith."

So you want to be an Actor?

2008-05-07T19:41:00.004-04:00

My advice to you: don't. Just don't do it. Run far far away in the opposite direction and never look back.

Why? Because it is soul-crushingly hard.

You think your job is soul-crushing? Picture your last job interview. How nervous you were. How broke you were. How much you just "needed" it.

Now imagine that you have to go through that process all the time. Every single time you want to work. Every single time you want to get paid for doing what you love most in the world. Except, instead of strangers in the waiting room, you run into all of your friends. And you laugh nervously hoping against all hope that it will be you and not them and getting wracked with guilt at the same time for feeling that way.

Then when you finally go into the interview and you show them your resume and your credentials and you do a little song and dance for them, answer all their questions the right way, and you give it your all... after all that you find out that you actually didn't get it because of something so totally and completely out of your control like your height or your hair colour or your weight or your teeth or the fact that you look just like someone else at the office and it would be confusing to everybody else to have two of you running around...

You feel the wind knocked out of you. You see the ground fall out from beneath you and those stars and dreams you were reaching out for that just a minute ago seemed so close slide further and further away. And your Sisyphean oddyssey begins again...

So unless you are prepeared to dust yourself off every time and start pushing that boulder once again, I repeat, don't become an actor. Just don't.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to clean off the dust on my shoes.

I Don't Get It

2008-04-30T16:13:00.003-04:00

Over the past two months, I had been spending a lot of time and money on acting workshops. In fact, I had one just this past weekend.

These workshops have been great since most of them focused on the almighty audition. You see, it's a well known fact that you can be one of the greatest actors in the world, but just completely suck at auditions.

There's a story in one of my books that talks about this casting director who was out seeing A Streetcar Named Desire on stage with Marlon Brando. Brando had completely mesmerized him and he called his assistant to ask why he had never seen this wonderful actor before. His assistant checked in their files. Marlon Brando had already auditioned for this casting director eight times.

I believe I am a good actor. It's more than that actually. I know I am a good actor. This past weekend, I felt comfortable in my skin during my mock auditions with a prominent casting director from Toronto. I actually liked the way I looked on camera and truly felt that I had done some of my best work. Best of all, I had fun. I was ready for my next big audition!

Which happened to be today...

It was for a corporate video, in English and in French. No problem, I thought. I know that I have a natural ability to host things. I learned my lines and I dressed the part.

But something happened today...

I started getting scared. I started thinking about how much I really wanted to nail this gig because I hadn't done any professional work in a while now. I started thinking about my credit card and how much I could really really really use the money. I started worrying about my braces and the fact that most people believe me if I tell them I'm twenty... the breakdown said they wanted someone 30 to 40...

I panicked.

All the way down on the bus, I went over my lines in my head. Ok, good, I know them. I put on some lipstick and powdered my nose. Great, I look stylishly business but still friendly and cute. Then the receptioninst told me they had a telepromter in the room. Even better!

I sat down and tried to calm the pounding in my heart, tried to breathe and ground myself, tried to just relax and have fun, tried to get rid of the pasty, chalky taste in my mouth. This is just another silly audition after all.

I walked down a hall and around cubicles to the room. Somehow it felt like "dead-man walking". I walked into the room. The faces were friendly, familiar and smiling. Nothing to worry about.

There is NO teleprompter.

SHIT!

I placed myself on the mark. I'm asked to do the English sides first. No problem, no problem. "Welcome to the..." OH fuck! Welcome to what? WELCOME TO WHAT?!? I feel the papers shake in my hand as I look down the barrel. The director tells me I can read from the page if I want to.

But I don't need to read, I KNOW MY LINES! I KNEW THEM ON THE BUS! ASK THE LADY WHO THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY FOR WHISPERING THEM NEXT TO HER!!! I want to scream that out, but I don't.

I try again. I stumble and bumble and fumble again and again. I don't want to read directly from the sheet because my hands are trembling so much that the sheet shakes and makes a terrible noise. I'm sure it sounds louder in my head.

It seems to take forever. Start-Stop-Go Again. Stumble some more...

The French is just like the English.

By the time we go in for a closer shot, I'm so pissed at myself, I'm sure I don't sound too friendly. At least, I don't seem to need the sheet anymore.

SEE! I did know my lines.

Too late though.

The director shakes my hand on the way out and tells me she hopes it's not too cold out. I stutter (when did I pick up a stutter?) that it's actually quite beautiful out... quite quite quite beautiful.

Besides, I'm so hot under the collar right now, I don't think I can ever again feel cold.

I leave, holding my head up, trying not to cry.

Man that sucked!

I make it all the way downstairs before I realize I forgot my coat.

Shit, fuck, shit, fuck, fuck, fuck SHIIIIIIIITTTT!!!!

Great, now my eyes are leaking.

Sigh... now I have to just put it all behind me until the next audition.

So you sure you want to be an actor?

Ventriloquist Review

2008-04-28T14:26:00.001-04:00

We got a glowing review this morning from CBC Radio's Alvina Ruprecht for our production of The Ventriloquist. You can read it for yourself below, or check out at the CBC website, along with the NAC's All for Love Review here:
Our section in the review starts at about 6 minutes and 50 seconds in.

Needless to say, I am incredibly pleased. I hope, if you haven't seen the show already, that you will be able to make it out this week. We have shows from Wed to Sat at 8pm in the Studio Leonard Beaulne of the University of Ottawa. There is also a 3pm matinee on May 3rd. Tickets can be reserved by calling 613-864-3386 or by email through reservations@evolutiontheatre.ca. You can also buy them in advance at the Oz Kafé (361 Elgin St.) between 5pm and 2am - Tuesday to Sunday or at the door. CASH ONLY

I am very proud of our "important contribution to the professional theatre scene in Ottawa" and I hope that you will all be able to come out and support us this week.

**********************************************

Host: Now, I understand you also want to talk about a new play by Evolution Theatre that also opened last week.

Alvina: Yes, this is a new… Evolution Theatre is a new professional company and the play they are doing now is called The Ventriloquist, and it’s a little dramatic chef d’oeuvre by veteran Québécois playwright, Larry Tremblay. This is an English translation by Keith Turnbull and this is a drama that delves into the psyche of an individual who lives in his own reality.

Now, I don’t want to give away any surprises, but I can say that there is a young man here manipulating a doll who appears to be an adolescent girl and he is called the ventriloquist, because he’s projecting voices through her. But as the play progresses we realize that the voices are those coming from a very disturbed mind that is playing out sexual fantasies and all kinds of other needs. And the thing is we are drawn into this inner world without actually realizing what is happening. It’s not clear until the very end. Very interesting, the structure was very interesting.

It’s a brilliant little play the director, Chris Bedford, has understood perfectly and he has enhanced the psychic disturbance by stylizing it all to the hilt, which was perfect. He even brings in shadow performances by parents who sort of flutter in the background and to draw out the grotesque nature of it all. And the lead actress, Lisa Twardowska, who plays the young girl, Gaby, is excellent.

This is a serious group of young people who are ready to take on the challenges, I think, of demanding contemporary theatre and they should be supported. They’re doing a really good job. They don’t have much money, obviously, at this point, but they are an important contribution to the professional theatre scene in Ottawa and that’s quite good.

So that’s The Ventriloquist in the Léonard-Beaulne Studio at the University of Ottawa . And you can call 613-864-3386 for times and tickets.

Opening Night Jitters

2008-04-23T09:18:00.000-04:00

Hello Friends!

Today is a very exciting day for us at Evolution Theatre. Not only is our first show of the season, The Ventriloquist, opening tonight at 8pm in the Studio Léonard-Beaulne at the University of Ottawa, but we are also priveledge to be holding the Ottawa English language premiere.

The show runs approximately 1 hour and 10 minutes with no intermission. After the show, we will be heading over to the Oz Kafé (361 Elgin Street) to celebrate.

We would be incredibly pleased if you could join us at either venue. However, if you can't make it, there are still plenty of opportunities for you to check out the show.

We can't wait to see you there!

Nancy Kenny
Director of Communications
Evolution Theatre

Evolution Theatre's first show of the season, Larry Tremblay's The Ventriloquist, runs from April 23rd to April 27th and April 30th to May 3rd at 8pm at the Studio Léonard-Beaulne at the University of Ottawa. There is also a 3pm matinee on May 3rd.

Tickets are $15 for adults / $10 students and seniors
CASH only at the door or in advance at the Oz Kafé (361 Elgin Street).

Reserve your spot via email: reservations@evolutiontheatre.ca or by calling 613-864-3386

This show contains mature themes and subject matters and may not be suitable for all audiences.

Sometimes There Is No Other Shoe

2008-03-10T10:40:00.006-04:00

So you want to start a theatre company?

I've been wondering for a while how I was going to approach this topic.

At first, I wanted to say it's actually quite easy, and technically it is. Just grab some friends, a show, a venue and name your group something. BLAMMO! Insta-theatre company. And if that's all you really want to do, that's all you need.

But once you start realizing that you want to make something out of this company, that you not only want it to stay afloat, when so many of its predecessors have disappeared from the limelight, you actually want it to succeed, well that's when you have to start treating it like a business. And that's when things should start getting hard.

At least, that's what I thought. But the truth of the matter is, I've never taken on a project that has been this easy in my entire life.

For those of you who may not know, along with two other friends, I've started a theatre company called Evolution Theatre. (Feel free to look up our origins there since I won't go into it here.)

Now to be fair, starting and running a theatre company takes a lot of work. I just don't happen to think it's very difficult work (or maybe I actually like the work so much that I don't consider it difficult?). However, I have never been a part of something that has run so smoothly before.

We want sponsors? We got 'em! We want a logo and show posters? Here comes an amazing graphic designer! We want to organize a successful season launch with members of the media and theatre VIPs? Done!
(I've got Roy Orbison's Anything You Want running through my head right now.)

It's funny, I have this feeling inside me that what we are doing is just meant to be and that's why it has been so simple. Sure there's been a few hicups here and there, but nothing we couldn't manage.

What's even funnier is that my usual instinct in these types of situations when things are going right would be to expect something to go wrong, to expect for that proverbial "other shoe" to drop. And you know what happens when you wait for that other shoe? It usually does - not to mention you also let all the really great stuff in your life pass you by as you waited for it to do so.

So, as of this moment (or maybe as of a few weeks ago when I thought about this), there is no other shoe. From now on, I walk around on one foot.

...

Metaphorically speaking, of course.

...

Am I even making any sense?

Learning to Say No

2008-02-28T14:32:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I think I'm Superman(girl?). I'm strong and fast, I can do it all and still have a healthy dinner ready, my laundry folded, and my taxes done.
Sometimes I am also incredibly insecure. I don't think I'm good enough as an actor, that any work I get is out of pure luck, and that my last gig really was my last.

A combination of these two factors has made it so that, in the last three years, I've tackled almost every audition that came my way and worked on any and every project that would have me.

A few burnouts and some mild cases of depression later, I've realized that maybe, just maybe, that was not the best way to manage my career and my life.

In the last week or so, I've actually turned down not one but two opportunities to audition for some really great theatre companies in town; two companies that on any given day I would probably kill for (or at the very least, bake banana bread for).
The timing of their shows, however, just doesn't work out with stuff that I either already have on the go or plan on having on the go.

Saying "No" wasn't easy. It took me two days of soul searching for each company before I came to a decision and acknowledging that though I'm not so insecure, I'm also not superhuman. However, in the long run, I know that this decision is the best for me at this moment in my life. And that's what really matters.

Thank You, Mr. Wilson

2008-02-27T20:38:00.002-05:00

So you smile and you shrug and you brush it all off with a "Whatever" whenever anyone asks you about the outcome of that "big audition" you know, the one that could have changed your whole life had you nailed it.
And you pretend that it doesn't matter that you worked the hardest that you had ever worked before on any given piece or that you left a little piece of your tiny naked and vulnerable soul behind in a room where two strangers got final say on your artistic capabilities.
After all, it just means something better is on the horizon, right?
And you giggle convincingly when you say that because you're a damn good actor, even if you do say so yourself.
And you try not to doubt yourself or get too sad about it because you've been reading up on the Laws of Attraction and, well, you don't need more doubt and more sad in your life.
And then chance or faith or divine intervention, even, drops a discount movie theatre in front of you. And you think what's the harm in taking a peak at what's playing?
And amongst the crap from Martin Lawrence and the animated schlock from Jerry Seinfeld, you see them: Forest Gump staring at a Pretty Woman in a bad wig no less, while Truman Capote, wearing chops most guys I know would kill for, watches on.
And you think, what the heck, I've got time. So you buy your ticket and some popcorn and you hope they don't notice the pop you're smuggling in your bag and you walk in.
In a dark theatre you have almost all to yourself (which is your idea of heaven, by the way), after only five minutes in, you've already forgotten about the kernels that are lodging themselves in your braces because you are so incredibly captivated by what's going on in front of you.
You realize that escapism doesn't have to be dumb or dumb you down, that millions of dollars actually can be spent on a legitimate piece of art and that yes even you can fall in love with the guy from Joe vs the Volcano... even for just a little while.
As you file out of the theatre, you realize that what you just saw is the reason you keep picking up the pieces after every imagined heartbreak and carry on to do it all over again on another day. You realize that you are alive and hopeful because you know that one day someone will be blogging about you and that movie they saw you in that made them go Woah.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a script to go write... right after I file my taxes.

Winning my Oscar Pool (or I Can Spot a Loser from a Mile Away)

2008-02-25T12:47:00.002-05:00

I just found out this morning that I won my Oscar Pool by guessing all answers in every category correctly. The twist to this pool though was that you had to pick a show/person from each category who would NOT win.

My method? Well it was very scientific, based on socio-political trends in the movie business, as well as extensive research into the voting habits of Academy members for the last 80 years. I also factored in box office receipts for each film, multiplied that by the average salary of the people involved (go go IMDB Pro) and divided by the number of nominees in each category.

Or I just randomly clicked on stuff and prayed that if there was a God He/She/It would not let a travesty like Norbit get any kind of legitimate artistic approval.

My prize for winning? A 275$ acting course with Sears and Switzer.

Go me!

Thoughts Post Stratford Audition

2008-02-25T12:38:00.005-05:00

I wrote these thoughts after my audition last Tuesday while waiting for the train to take me back to Ottawa. Call backs are being held on March 3rd and I haven't heard anything back.

Ah well!

******************************
First of all, Martha Henry is a beautiful woman. I could see her being Governor General one day. She looks like your kindly grandmother who could spend an afternoon with you baking cookies and yet tell you naughty stories about her life when your mom wasn't in the room. There's an aura about her that lets you know she has really lived her life and has nothing to prove to anyone. It was incredibly comforting to walk into a room with her (at least I thought so - I can't speak for others who auditioned).

I don't want to over analyze my audition (it's over and done with afterall), but I did realize a few things. At times I definitely rushed, and pushed, and "acted" really hard. Ms. Henry noticed this, of course, and redirected me. She told me to just stand there in th emiddle of the room and talk to her. When I did, it felt like magic.

I can't believe how much I learned from a simple audition that barely spanned five minutes, but if I have to take anything away from it, it's the realization that I still have a tremendous amount to learn. And that's not a bad thing.

All in all, I had fun and I know that, whatever may come along down the road, I'm looking forward to it.

In the Shower with the Bard

2008-02-14T13:54:00.004-05:00

Thank you everyone for your wonderful suggestions! I have finally decided on a second monologue. I will be doing one of Desdemona's speeches from Othello. I've basically chosen this one because it offers a lot of vulnerability compared to the fierce passion I see in Adrianna from Comedy of Errors.

Now, I've been memorizing my lines and going over my speeches. Personally, I find the shower to be the best spot to go over lines since it's a relaxing environment that offers very little outside distractions (that is until you start thinking about Kris Joseph, and really, why would you want to do that in the shower of all places?)

Anyway, the shower is great, especially when you live alone, because then no one is knocking at the door wondering who Antipholus is and why he's in the shower with you.

On Saturday, I'm getting some personal coaching to help guide me through my pieces and I'm really looking forward to that.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to figure out a way to read my pages copied off the first folio text without getting them wet.

In Bed with the Bard

2008-02-13T11:17:00.003-05:00

I have a pretty big audition coming up for a pretty prominent Shakespeare Festival in Canada (though I won't go into details, it rhymes with Ratford).

For this audition, I have to prepare two contrasting speeches from Shakespeare. Now one speech is not a problem. I have a monologue I have been using for a few years now from Comedy of Errors.

When it came to choosing a second monologue, I have been soliciting advice from people I know who are familiar with the works of the bard. This little activity has made me realize one thing: I am not one who is very familiar with the works of the Bard.

You see, the important thing when doing a monologue is to be well-versed in the play itself so that you may more adequately capture the necessary nuances. That said, when I started going thorugh the list of Shakespearian plays (there are 37 in total... arguably) I had actually seen or read, the list was quite small:

Tragedies
Romeo and Juliet
Hamlet
Julius Caesar
Macbeth
Othello
King Lear

Histories
King John
Richard III

Comedies
The Comedy of Errors
A Midsummer Night's Dream
Measure for Measure
Twelfth Night

Damn! I haven't even read half of his plays...

Needless to say, my second monologue is coming from this short list.

Parking Expenses

2008-02-07T09:44:00.001-05:00

Here's my solution to avoid paying hefty parking fees when coming to the downtown core:

TAKE THE BUS!

Plateau/Moving Up the Ladder

2008-02-05T14:29:00.000-05:00

Well Jigsaw finished this past Saturday to a sold-out crowd (it was so sold out that our front of house volunteers didn't get to see it, due to a lack of seats). I had a lot of fun with the company (Toto Too) and I recommend them to anyone interested in doing theatre. They are incredibly well-organized! I also know that I did some good work on the show.

That said, it is time for me to move away from community theatre. I've done so much of it in the past couple of years, and it has taught me alot, but I truly believe it is time for me to slide into the next level of my acting career.

I also have to start putting value to my talent which means I won't be doing any free theatre anymore.

Now the trick is finding someone who'd be willing to pay me.