blogspotting.

This fire

2009-07-02T11:41:00.003+08:00

(* this is a note I posted in my FB last night, just reposting it here with a few edits because I'm lazy like that. Heh.)

A few days ago I finished reading Haruki Murakami's After Dark. Here's an excerpt:

"You know what I think?" she says. "That people's memories are maybe the fuel they burn to stay alive. Whether those memories have any actual importance or not, it doesn't matter as far as the maintenance of life is concerned. They're all just fuel. Advertising fillers in the newspaper, philosophy books, dirty pictures in a magazine, a bundle of ten-thousand-yen bills: when you feed 'em to the fire, they're all just paper. The fire isn't thinking, 'Oh, this is Kant,' or 'Oh, this is the Yomiuri evening edition,' or "Nice tits," while it burns. To the fire, they're nothing but scraps of paper. It's the exact same thing. Important memories, not-so-important memories, totally useless memories: there's no distinction--they're all just fuel."

"You know, I think if I didn't have that fuel, if I didn't have these memory drawers inside me, I would've snapped a long time ago. I would've curled up in a ditch somewhere and died. It's because I can pull the memories out of the drawers when I have to--the important ones and the useless ones--that I can go on living this nightmare of a life. I might think I can't take it anymore, that I can't go on anymore, but one way or another I get past that."

Yeah. I liked this part so much I typed and posted it via my mobile phone.

Ah, memories.

The time he asked if I was hungry and I said no, not really while eyeing the hotdogs and waffles and then telling him later while munching on the same hotdog and waffle that di ako gutom gusto ko lang ngumuya ("I'm not hungry I just want to chew") and that look on his face, what a funny.

Swimming with the whale sharks.

The kid pressing his face in the coffee shop's glass windows.

Sunlight streaming through the windows.

That time, accent training for my first (and last) call center job-- when I stupidly misread compromise as "com-promise".

My dog Sugar giving me that sad, sad look that morning he died.

Not waking up in my own bed.

Anna Nalick singing, but, my god, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles.

HongKong, Singapore.

That "Chika-Chika" song playing in the FX on my way home.

Tonight's argument with my mother.

Burn, burn, burn.

a change will do you good

2009-06-18T15:43:00.004+08:00

Or so I've heard.

So I've moved indefinitely, to a friend's house in Antipolo (shout out to Cat!).

Yes, it is far compared to my former apartment which was just a stone's throw away from my office, but what the hell, at least I'll have some peace of mind. Or at least a more comfortable bed. And a bigger room. And a fridge where I can store and raid, at any given time, a slice of yummeh caramel cake. And hotdogs. And last night's leftover dinner. And cold err--drinks.

I've yet to get used to waking up EARLIER than usual, and the traffic on the way to the office is challenging what I learned in anger management class. But that's okay. My primary complaint as of the moment is having to sit next to people who sweat a lot in the FX. I'm not exactly a fan of receiving bodily fluids from total strangers. Yes, I will be the unsmiling person sitting at the edge of my seat for an hour if that will save me from feeling your sweat seeping through my clothes, thanks much.

Well. That's it for now. Gotta catch a bus to the hometown this girl's going to be a bridesmaid this weekend!

when i finally get my own place

2009-06-06T15:50:00.002+08:00

...maybe I'll be more clearheaded and I'll be able to blog about nice things like

what a grand time I had in Singapore while I was there and how I'd like to go back for another visit

or

how the rain, constant rain reminds me of what it's like to be a kid to not worry about your shoes getting wet or getting sick or that icky flood

or

how sometimes a smile can make you wonder what that mouth would taste like

or

how I miss pancakes and Milo and pears and blueberry cheesecake

or

how I finally found my own place.

Which I haven't done yet.

this hopeful little girl

2009-05-22T08:28:00.007+08:00

Kythira, Greece (photo from It's only superstition)

I want a blue wooden door

like the ones you find so many in Greece

and I want you

to open it

and get in.

***

What is the best

and quickest way

to pack for a trip?

Just dump everything in the damn suitcase

and get going, get going!

***

To wake up

a stranger

in a foreign city.

Joy.

***

I am headed to Singapore tonight!

want, wont, want

2009-05-14T15:23:00.005+08:00

So I made a secret Tumblr account because well, some things just have to come out in secret -- softly, in the company of the other things that gnaw at the heart but cannot be named without taking down walls and exposing one's self naked for all the world to see.

Which I can not do because I like to appear Meg Ryan-y as often as I can: quirky, funny, and pretty (yes?). And on those days that I can't I'll just fool you with my multiple personality problems. Or some random reference to alcohol.

Anyway.

I'm liking Tumblr so far. A lot of awesomecakes people there, and the photos, the photos are love, love, love!

(photo by Loren Zemlicka as posted in twentythree)

I so want a vintage-y bicycle.

about a girl

2009-05-05T15:34:00.003+08:00

These are the things that made me afraid today:

Not being able to settle my credit card bills, getting sued, and getting locked up in a jail somewhere where I won't be able to blog, twitter, party, shoot pictures, and see sunsets. Worse, I'd have to wear orange all the time. I hate the color orange.

That my state of distraction and my constant feeling of not being quite there would result to replying something incoherent and embarrassing to people I'm talking to, like mumbling something about being a black hole in your universe, dancing cows and riding unicorns when I'm being asked about where to save files and shit like that.

Falling down the flight of stairs.

Not being okay for a long time.

Looking and liking what I'm seeing too much.

Getting too fat.

Being always almost there but never really making it.

A burnout.

Getting old and not really getting it.

Losing the fight. Wait, what am I fighting anyway?

Being lost, permanently.

lost and sober

2009-04-27T16:37:00.007+08:00

I only have reminders for myself for this blog entry:

1. Jose Cuervo is not my friend.

Message in a bottle: "Let's go to hell. Together!"

On the two occasions I drank this I lost my wallet, my reflexes, some parts of my memory (thank god?) and a little of my dignity (or so I'd like to think). Which isn't really completely a bad thing, says my guy-buddies. Which makes me all the more suspicious. So yeah, Jose Cuervo, we're not friends.

...but I don't really hold grudges, so...

2. Be careful of those sockets and plugs, so says my mother. She says my sister dreamt of me getting electrocuted. Possible explanation: I have to be more careful of everything that involves electricity (does that feeling you get when you meet eyes with your crush count? No? Kk). Either that, OR, my sister really hates me.

(Strangely enough I've always had this irrational fear of getting run over by a speeding truck. When crossing a busy street I go into silent panic, and if ever a companion so hesitates while crossing the street you can expect that silent panic to turn into a not so pleasant shriek. So yeah, thank you to those who offer their arm or hand to me during these times, you sweet you, heh.)

3. Remember to save some money. Singapore trip is in a few weeks.

I'd remind myself of a few more things, but those things already qualify under stuff I already know.

Let me tell you about two posts that blew me away today tho:

Rom's Love Letter
Modern Patadyong's Hunas

I wish that I could just write down all the demons that I've been indulging in my mind lately the way these two could, but no, I could only read their words and nod my head and say, yeah, that's it. That's how it feels. That's how it is.

On a lighter note, can I just say let's *high five* the makers of Ang Blog ng Mga Tunay na Lalake?

waiting for the wild things to come

2009-04-11T16:56:00.009+08:00

Because movies like The Neverending Story, Mac and Me, and E.T. made a permanent impression in my consciousness as a child (I honestly believed there was a giant flying dog slash dragon somewhere), because only movies like these can coax an emotional reaction from me AND because I have an uhm, fertile imagination...

I know riite??

I AM SO GONNA CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS MOVIE.

The movie adaptation of Maurice Sendak's award-winning children's picture book Where the Wild Things Are is coming to theaters near me this year!

How adorable is this? *sniff*

So lucky to have stumbled on this on wecouldgrowup2gether's fabulous blog (thanks much!)

Watch the trailer here.

"Inside all of us is a wild thing."

Indeed.

why is it called Good Friday again?

2009-04-10T16:46:00.007+08:00

And so it is, Good Friday, and I went to work.

But yesterday, I went to church. Rom, you couldn't have said things better. (If I were in the province I would be joining the traditional Via Dolorosa later as I've been doing so for many years now having been raised a Catholic thank you, and I predict I'd be more and more disenchanted with the "religious" when I see people in the procession gossiping, making pacute to other processioneers (ok fine inimbento na word), and generally just not being there --but that's another story).

So in the absence of something religious to do tonight I'll be around, roaming the city (trafficless!) to hopefully capture the faithful-- and the faithless with my cameras while Jesus is well, supposed to be dead (this is not a wrong thing to say, is it? Lightning strike to me?).

I hope my point and shoot skillz don't disappoint.

So yeah, be good, people.

this refrain.

2009-04-07T17:38:00.005+08:00

Nothing like something you can't or shouldn't have to make things more interesting. That transformation is...scary. I'm sorry, but who wants to look like The Jacko reinvented these days? The thought of having so much to do in 2 days, and nothing in 3 is making me panic a little. You shouldn't put color in everything sometimes it just is that, nothing. Excitement. I just want a house near the beach where I can wake up to white curtains dancing in the breeze and the blue of the ocean just waiting, waiting outside. I wish I could find in me the spirit of Lent but I can't. Maybe tomorrow I will? Once in a while you find a status message that'll keep the day interesting. The other day I went to church with a friend to pray (yes to pray for courage maybe) and I felt weird after. Not hallelujah-weird, but hhhhmmm-weird. Sometimes it just feels like God is too busy to pay attention you know? How important could wanting a guy to go bonkers over you can be over the (remote) possibility of a nuclear war/disaster thanks to North Korea? Anyway. You, don't do that. She'll take a tumble on you roll you like you were dice until you come out blue...If you're having too much fun should you stop and start to think? I'm kinda jealous of all my friends heading home for the long holy week vacation, but I absolutely detest having to brave the crowds in the terminals so I'll just stay put. The brakes, step on the brakes luv. And stay sane. And sober. Because getting drunk is not an OK idea when you're alone and wanting something you shouldn't. Too much. The universe does not like that. But I do. So. Why'd you have to be so cute. Yes please to some vodka. I wish giving in was as easy as this.

Please to forgive my jumble of thoughts, obviously somebody's not thinking straight. Hope to post something 'bout my Pangasinan beach-capade (pics!) or something that will closely resemble a decent blog entry soon folks.

beach tiemz!

beach tiemz!!

2009-03-28T15:46:00.003+08:00

That's where I'm headed in 5...4...3...

the morning after

2009-03-23T11:06:00.004+08:00

So. I'm in Antipolo weekending at a friend's house. This is what I do to escape the city, or well, try to.

Anyway, so naturally I was intoxicated again Saturday night. I found myself in Kalesa Grille with Cat, Jo, and Janet discussing what else, world issues. Our world issues. Haha. We ended up downing four buckets of beer and by the time we were headed home I was knocked out in the backseat of the car and talking to the fairies in my sleep.

In the morning I realized a few things:

1. Beer is not my friend. I shall now stick to vodka, whose loyalty to me means I will not have to wake up feeling like the rock of Gibraltar has been relocated to the friggin' top of my head.

2. Criminal by Fiona Apple soundtracks nicely to my flirting skills after 5 bottles of beer.

3. I am still mystified by the necessity of exposed midsections in women singing in showbands.

4. I cannot believe I'm already 30 and I still drink like a college girl. Shouldn't I have a more sophisticated, grown up taste in drinks at this age, like wines and martinis. Not construction worker type drinks like Gran Matador, Red Horse, and Ginebra Gin.

5. I want a bath tub. And an awesome shower, like this:

6. It feels so good, to be finally over some pointless issues.

Also, I am totally digging this song right now:

I KNOW RIIITE??

and the lesson for today kids is

2009-03-12T16:46:00.002+08:00

photo via: wordboner (my new fave site!!)

Especially when I have had a drink too many, my friend Anna said to me the other day ("lumalabas pagkamalandi mo").

Heh. =P

And oh yes, just as I suspected today turned out to be another one of those bipolar Thursdays. Yesterday I wanted to mope, today --well, let's just say the universe had time to play with me today.

What's your name
What's your game
Show me how to play
~ Natural Disaster, The Plain White T's

waiting

2009-03-11T18:17:00.003+08:00

I can't wait.

I can't wait. For a lot of things.

The beach, the joy of summer.

I can't wait for joy, joy, joy

to come back

and take me away.

there isn't something missing...or is there?

2009-03-10T17:10:00.005+08:00

I feel a bit lost today, sort of off-kilter. You know that feeling when you enter your room and it looks the same and normal but it feels different? Like something has been moved, or touched, without you knowing?

Yeah, something like that.

just a quickie

2009-02-25T18:50:00.006+08:00

Just a few quick things before this blog totally goes softly into cyber-oblivion:

1. I'm very busy but pleasantly content with work these days. I do have my must have my anger management moments but yeah, I'm pretty happy with what I do now.

2. I miss the outdoors though. And taking photos. (Sometimes it does get to a point when you get sick of seeing your face in your phone, camera, and facebook albums. LOL)

3. My Singapore trip originally planned next month has been moved to May. But this time it's for sure -- Mira's already booked tickets for the both of us this week. This is it, Mirz!

4. My friends and I will be watching You Changed My Life (Don't laugh!) this weekend. That's right, the Sarah Geronimo - John Lloyd Cruz starrer. I'm fond of that girl (she CAN act, not like some pretty, very popular faces out there), and I do think John Lloyd Cruz is one of the better young actors these days. I hate the movie title tho. Come on Star Cinema/Viva people, lazy much??

5. I want a tan, and I want the beach more.

6. Familiar with the song The Sun Ain't Shining No More? I love the hippie feel!

7. Watched Will Smith's 7 Pounds. I was told it was a tearjerker -- but well, it was okay. The movie reminded me of Smith's previous "tearjerker", The Pursuit of Happyness (which I liked). Must be Will Smith's same acting? Or maybe I just am immune to tearjerker movies.

8. Watched Frost/Nixon. Was mesmerized by Frank Langella's portrayal of former US President Richard Nixon.

9. Watched Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Loved it! The film was told in a deceptively simple way but it gets to you -- the way that what is true in our relationships with the universe and with people are both simple and complicated, both blissful and sad, both hopeful and pointless. I immediately felt an affinity to the character Vicky, but found myself contemplating on my own restlessness thanks to Cristina. And Penelope Cruz was really good in this one. Must watch more Woody Allen films!

10. Watched Milk. Sean Penn is a god.

11. There's a recurring want among us friends (aside from food, the occasional party, and the yummeh opposite sex) -- having our fortunes told. Last time (ages ago, really. I was still in college!) I had mine told in the province the fortune teller warned me that I will be a kabit (translated: mistress) not once, but twice. So far, the prediction hasn't come to fruition. Yet. LOL.

12. One of these days, you'll miss your train and come stay with me
We'll have drinks and talk about things, any excuse to stay awake with you
You'll sleep here, i'll sleep there, but then the heating may be down again
at my convenience
we'd be good, we'd be great together.
~ Goodnight and Go, Imogen Heap

The Airborne Toxic Event, yo.

2009-02-16T18:15:00.003+08:00

Totally digging this song:

"You just have to see her, you just have to see her
You know that she'll break you in two"
~ Sometime Around Midnight (The Airborne Toxic Event)

-- so angsty!

BTW, thanks to all those who remembered and made my birthday a happy birthday! Sorry I haven't been able to update this blog as often as I want to -- been really busy the past weeks. Also, I seem to be running out of things to talk about, or at least talk in public about. Haha.

countdown to thirty

2009-02-07T20:02:00.005+08:00

...and talking in tags (this was a tagging business going on in facebook, but I decided to post it here because well, I'm lazy that way):

25 Random Things About Me:

1. There's this great burger joint in Kapitolyo, Pasig that I frequent with my friends -- Charlie's. I swear the burgers there are made of sin.

YUMMEH!

2. I'm not really sure if I like marriage -- in fact, last week, while attending my friend's church wedding I was almost sure that I was developing an aversion to marriage. Sure I think weddings are romantic ceremonies, but I don't know, I'm kinda not very excited about the whole tying the knot thing. But if I absolutely just have to get married, it has to be a beach wedding, with everyone barefoot, and with a cool master of ceremonies (a pastor a priest whoever) who won't drone on about how family planning is an act of evil (obviously I have issues here haha).

3. I'm currently agnostic. I'm open to a spiritual experience but I'm not very keen on anything that will involve religious rituals and what have you.

4. I cried the first time I watched Land Before Time (you know, that cartoon about dinosaurs?)

5. I'm a fan of Korean cinema and television. In fact it's fairly safe to say that I get my romantic flick fix from Korean films like Ditto, Sad Movie (yes, it was sad alright), The Classic, and Madeleine, and Korean TV series like Goong (Princess Hours) and My Girl. I can drone on about this like the fan girl that I am but let's move on to number 6.

6. I love canned tuna. Because I don't really cook (I can if I wanted to but I'm too lazy) my meal would usually consist of hot and spicy tuna mixed with crushed plain crackers or, any other flavored canned tuna on whole wheat bread.

7. I once tripped and fell to my knees in the middle of a busy street (that street just off the gas station at the end of Shaw Blvd.). In my red, 4-inch pumps. Yessir, I literally stopped traffic.

8. My favorite way to sleep is in my undies and an oversized and old men's shirt. Pajamas are good too, but only during the cold season. :)

9. Speaking of sleep, I cannot sleep without a blanket. I can without a pillow, but I must, must have a blanket. I do blankets even when the weather's hot.

10. I'm absolutely in love with Katy Perry's Thinking of You. The lines "you're like an Indian summer in the middle of winter, like a hard candy with a soft center" just about perfectly sums up some stuff in my life right now haha.

11. I tried being a vegetarian before. I only lasted 2 months. I love animals really, pigs and cows included -- but I can't stay away from burgers. And sisig. And fried chicken. =(

12. I cannot be happier with the friends I have right now.

13. I've never been a watch person. But after accompanying a friend selecting and buying (after 5 hours of looking!) I suddenly developed a desire to have one. Not one of those cutesy ladies' watches, but rather a men's chrono watch that will swallow my wrist and make hand flailing a chore. I want it for my birthday!

14. I prefer drinking hard drinks over beer. I used to outdrink everyone -- including all my hard drinking guy friends and never get hangovers. But now, I've uh, mellowed.

15. It's a wry sense of humor over good looks for me when it comes to men. But if I can have both, so much the better. Haha.

16. The very first novel I read was Mario Puzo's The Godfather. That was when I was in fourth grade.

17. I'm a real good listener. If there was an award like some sort of Grammy's for best listener (categories would be problems, fantasies, drunktalk, nonsense, and chismis) I would be a forerunner. I once told a friend, this is both my blessing and my curse.

18. I love being a stranger in a strange place. (I'm going to Singapore next month!)

19. I have a temper but I can never hold on to a grudge. All my friends who have known me for a long time know this and abuse this fact on a constant basis. =P

20. I won this Acer Aspire One notebook in our company Christmas Party last year. I never win in raffles, not even in those tickets they sell compulsary for P10 a bunch during grade school. But that night when they were drawing out the winners and I was on my way to the rest room to fix my face I actually heard a voice in my head saying my name before they called out my name. Really. Was it my imaginary friend talking to me? I don't know. haha.

21. I seem to always find myself drawn to men who are intelligent but emotionally daft.

22. I'm near sighted. If we know each other and pass each other and I don't smile that's because I couldn't see you. My eyes are L-375 and R-325.

23. I always have trouble sleeping early.

24. Plots, settings, dialogues, characters, and sound tracks run in my head constantly but I can't sit down and just put them all down and organize them into a story. Someday I'd love to be able to come up with a screenplay for a film or tv series.

25. I want to have Johnny Depp's babies.

Philippines, are you watching?

2009-01-21T08:35:00.007+08:00

Barack Obama is President.

President Barack Obama
(image from www.barackobama.com)

I'm excited, and hopeful -- for America, and the world.

I wonder when will we ever get that kind of hope here in the Philippines? When was the last time we were really, really hopeful about our country, and us, as a people?

Come to think of it, when was the last time we were inspired?

I'm kinda jealous of her.
Aside from being pretty (and not about to turn 30 anytime soon), she has a President she can believe in.
(Reuters image, taken from yahoo! news)

But today, I am hopeful. And happy that there is a man who can inspire change.

I just hope that we Filipinos are not just watching -- but more importantly, are learning from this historic event too.

When will our new day come?

President Barack Obama's speech here.

for the lack of more socially-relevant things to say

2009-01-12T00:59:00.009+08:00

I AM TURNING 30 NEXT MONTH.

ZOMG!!1! SRSLY?!?!
(just a small photo here, don't want to scare you guys with my funny big face)

Yup, that's right. I can no longer claim to be experiencing quarter-life crisis each time I do not know what I want. I still don't know what I want and what to want sometimes, but I do have about three more weeks right? Riggghhhht.

So let's see. Turning 30 (let's say this the most cheerful way possible) is my new year. And what do I plan (I purposely refrain from saying "goals" because "goals" are scary stuff) to achieve in my new year? No, let's replace that -- what do I want to do this year?

Yup, wanting something really bad should do the trick, and these are the things that I want:

1. Learn something new. I have been thinking about how my writing skills have been reduced and stuck to the cyber-yapping I've been doing lately. I've always wanted to write something relatively more memorable than "even his smoker's cough is sexy". See, I want to write something for the movies. I have all of these scenes and dialogues in my head and I never get to put them down on paper. If I ever did, I'd write a few sentences, stop, then forget all about it. I'm usually good at starting things, but always seem to end to get lost in the middle (this is also true in some other aspects of my life, but that's another post) and never reach an ending. Heh.

So yeah. Maybe I'll go back to school.

2. Have more out of town trips! I want to be a stranger again in a strange place! Hopefully, our Singapore trip pushes through this April. Any would be friends out there?

3. Save up. I've never really been a thrifty person, I've never been one to consciously and religiously set aside money for "future use". Maybe it's because of my self-indulgent nature, or maybe because I've never really worried about the future that much. But I think if I don't want to end up seriously broke in the future I'll have to start saving now (and shit, I'm almost 30!)

4. Go to the beach the soonest opportunity that comes. I just miss the beach. I want to feel the sand between my toes, I want to hear the ocean rush to the shore, and I want to be just engulfed by the beauty of it all. So yeah, hurry summer, hurry!

5. Give this blog a facelift. I mean really, it's so boring. Also, I need to learn how to exactly do that. I know a little HTML, CSS and stuff, but "a little" would mean "a lot" of me arm-twisting my cousin to help me get the right new look for this blog. So yes plz, teach me CSS and those things.

6. Earn more. Find ways to earn more moolah without resorting to criminal activity (kidding).

7. Like Helga, read more books and actually read those that I buy and not just leave them to dust in the corner of the room. Also, watch more of those Wong Kar Wai, Sofia Coppola types of films.

8. Eat healthier. To get to know other dinners than the canned tuna-crushed crackers if not chilimansi pancit canton that I'm very fond of.

9. Learn how to cook. For my own good.

10. Meet a man who actually has more balls than I do (channeling Salma Hayek.) LOL.

With that said, let's all go back to pretending I'm 24, shall we?

goodbye 2008, hello 2009!

2008-12-31T23:39:00.004+08:00

Before 2008 officially ends, I want to thank all of you guys who have inspired, perspired, and expired me this year!

(don't ask where I am, I'm in a secret, happy place haha)

HAPPIER NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

things we lost in the party

2008-12-16T17:03:00.007+08:00

1. Emo niki. Yep. You may have noticed that I've taken a fancy to shoe-gazing lately, my out of happy tags coming one after the other. BUT. No more of that! I'm rejuvenated (yes, partly with alcohol but I'm good, I'm good now), I'm alive, awake, alert (okay maybe not very alert -- you can't be if you're a errrr-- a little spaced out), enthusiastic!

Okay. The real reason why emo niki is no more is that well, I'm over certain things and I just decided to quit worrying about the wrong things. Shit happens, we can wallow in it for a while and after that -- NEXT!!

Of course, there's always the fact that I could be bipolar.

night out (here with old friends Gracey and Edri)

And then there's what we call party therapy. You have to admit it, there something about laser lights, booze, good friends, and lastly T.I. or some hiphop thug blaring in your ears and coaxing your body to move that makes things a little brighter. Not world peace brighter, but brighter still.

yep, it's okay to post blurry photos too!

tama lang na magwala sa dance floor, haha

So yes to more parties plz.

2. My freaking stylus. In the midst of the afterparties I lost my phone's stylus. It's Bailey's fault. He made me do it. I just woke up (thankfully not in a strange bed), felt the bed for my phone, felt the phone for my stylus and found that it was gone. Good thing I had a spare. So yep, let the good times roll, baby (mayabang haha).

3. That normal feeling under my foot. You know? That thing you feel that assures you you still have your feet? I lost that after wearing 5-inch heels for a good nine hours. That's what you get trying to prettify for a night that would have you ending up drunk in some sofa somewhere.

4. And finally, my plans to purchase a laptop. Because YAY! I won an Acer Aspire One notebook during our office party -- the only major thing I've ever won in a raffle in my whole years of existence on this planet! Because ever since raffle tickets were invented I never won anything yet, not even some measly candy, shampoo, canned goods or anything. I never win these things but now yay, a little blue laptop! (Dear universe, are you trying to make up for making fun of me lately?)

why helo thar you little cheesecake, you, you!

So yup, life's a bitch and so are we. (Walang sense, syempre. lolz)

and then the universe hiccuped

2008-12-06T08:40:00.006+08:00

Yesterday was a very, very bad day.

Good friends suddenly lost their jobs, my friend Red got caught (as in caught a bullet in his chin) in the crossfire in that tragic shootout that happened in Parañaque and is now confined in the hospital, and most of all, yesterday it was clearer than ever that some things were over before they've even really begun.

On the brighter side of things, maybe it's just the universe's funny way of rebooting -- sort of giving us a new lease on life. Losing your job could mean you'll find a better (more deserving of your labor) one; getting shot -- but coming out alive is by no means something to get down on your knees and be grateful to the universe for; and things ending before they've even begun could mean that it was never meant for you anyway, that maybe, just maybe, it was just a taste of things to come (Great things, I hope, the taste test was pretty good and great things don't come easy in my life lately hehe.)

So yes Twinkle, I'd really like to think so too.

Song of the moment: Jack's Mannequin's The Resolution

the short term benefit of alcohol

2008-11-28T17:52:00.003+08:00

Yep. It strikes at the most unexpected moments.
Like that moment when you've just about drained your Mandrin & Cherry.

So what is love then is it dictated or chosen
Does it sing like the hymns of 1000 years
Or is it just pop emotion
And if it ever was there and it left
Does it mean it was never true
And to exist it must elude
Is that why I think these things of you
~ Indigo Girls| Mystery

More Mandrin & Cherry plz?

And hurry up already, weekandz!

blurry

2008-11-21T16:03:00.005+08:00

I have a million different things running in my mind today, most of them so fast they're just a blur. It's weird because I've decided to lie low on the thinking too much part and most of the time I do feel like my mind's been emptied and that nothing seems to fit anymore?

Anyway. Some thoughts, twitter style:

There are Christmas lights and lanterns everywhere but weirdly enough I cannot feel the spirit of Christmas. Yet. Or maybe I'm just waiting for the 13th month pay and parties and booze and shopping and gifts. Yeeeep, there goes my Christmas spirit.

"Everyone wants to be found." I think I ought to watch Lost In Translation again.

Maybe I should have listened to the stylist when he said I ought to not darken my hair. But now it's dark and well, the world is still the same. So who cares, right.

I'd love to be in Tokyo right now. Or in some other exotic place, maybe a name I can't even pronounce. I miss being a stranger in a strange place.

There has to be something I want for Christmas. Oh yeah, that. But I wouldn't hold my breath for it.

Wouldn't it be nice to walk in the rain?

I miss my Holga camera. Poor Boris, locked away in the darkness (and mess) of my closet. I ought to get rolls of film and take him out on a trip soon.

She's waiting like an iceberg
Waiting to change
But she's cold inside
She wants to be like the water
~ On The Other Side of The World lyrics, KT Tunstall

I should make a list of things I can give to my godchildren. Now if only I can remember their names...

I should catch up with my books. There are several of them waiting ignored and unread beside my bed. About A Boy should be a fascinating read.

Lamp posts are lonely. So are trash bins. One lights our way at night, the other gets the shit we don't want or need anymore. Both under appreciated. (Yes, I've always had a special affinity to inanimate objects like that, thank you.)

"I know why the caged bird sings."