Essays 1997

Seeing is Believing

1997-12-25T22:26:00.000-05:00

Recently I was stopped at a red light and to my right was a bus-stop with about five or six people waiting in line. All different kinds of people, one man drinking a cup of coffee, an elderly lady looking through her tote-bag....and three teenagers heading off to school. All around them was the bustle of people making their way to their destinations in the morning hours, nothing that probably is not done in most places around the world.

How we look at people is very important. We all have our good days and bad ones...and we all make mistakes. Have you ever noticed when you're in a group of people who are strangers, the barriers go up....then, all of a sudden, somebody says something that breaks the ice. It could be a casual line, a chuckle, or a gesture, but that breaking of the ice sets off a sigh of relief within the group....a feeling of "It's okay, I'm safe here".

We see ourselves as a society of separate people, but deep down many of us have the same fears and hopes. In most cases how we see an individual is up to us. It's almost as if we have to re-train ourselves into seeing more of the good in people than the bad, not the other way around. How we look at the world has a profound influence on our behavior and moods for any given day. If we accent the positive aspects of people, like everything else, it has a ripple effect. It's just as easy to see the good as it is to see the bad.

In times of major catastrophes or disasters the differences between the people going through the calamity are abandoned. We all become one group fighting the problem. About twenty years ago New York City had a major black-out. I remember that night being in the city with friends when all of a sudden all of the power went out. Now New York City is looked upon as a scary place at night, especially with no power! Well what happened I will never forget. All of a sudden almost out of nowhere people started rising to the occasion...mostly everybody pitched in to help in any way they could....yes there were a few who looked upon it as an opportunity to loot stores, but for the most part all different kinds of people contributed to the elevation of humanity that night. It was a sight to see people directing traffic with flashlights, the young helping the elderly, etc. The next morning the power came back on, and people returned to "normal". Once in awhile I meet people who mention the night of the black-out....we all laugh, remembering how we all pitched in, in our own way, to do things we had never done that night, and in some cases, haven't done since.

There is tremendous good in people. Allow yourself to see it. Don't be afraid to contribute....it does matter what you think, what you feel, and what you see in people. It shouldn't have to take a catastrophe for us to see how good we can be....

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

We All Have a Place

1997-12-03T22:26:00.000-05:00

Every one of us is blessed in one way or another. Some people areathletic, some people are good at mathematics, and some people arecreative,etc. The power we have over our lives is, in most cases, determined by us. The choices, the directions, and the thoughts are mainly of our choosing. Have you ever sat alone and said to yourself "Who am I and what on earth is it that I am here to do?" Well, from the letters I receive many have.....myself included.

The mysteries of life are quite amazing....you can't help but feel sometimes like a sailor lost at sea....not quite knowing which way is land. Some choose to remain forever lost at sea, and some take it upon themselves to not give up and chart their own course. Still others look above and pray for guidance. I believe we are all on little boats sailing around, trying to find our way home. Some call it "peace of mind", "contentment", "personal satisfaction" or a "sense of accomplishment" but many of us search for that part of ourselves where we can find true meaning and balance.

We search for the place where the answers are.....where we can see what makes each one of us unique. What helps guide us there are lines like "I can do that", or "This comes very naturally to me". When we like what we do, we tend to do it well....it's not a coincidence. It's a journey, this life of ours, and like all journeys it has hills and valleys....very little even road. On this journey don't be swayed by the valleys...we all have to go through them. How we travel along this road is a choice....do we walk? Bicycle ride? Or take the car? Then it falls to what kind of bike, what kind of car, etc. What's important is that we choose a mode of transporation that we feel comfortable with, because some days are sunny, and some days are stormy. Our unique gifts and talents become vital to the continuation of the journey. If you've found that place of your uniqueness, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, don't give up searching.....it exists.

There is a tremendous need right now in this world for what each one of us can contribute in a positive way. Our talents and gifts are the means for us to accomplish our mission here and leave this world a better place. No contribution is too little. In the end, God has put us here for a purpose, and it matters that we are here.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

Give the Gift of Love

1997-11-26T22:26:00.000-05:00

We are approaching the last month of the year....a time when many gifts will be passed back and forth. Endless hours are spent searching for the perfect gift for that someone who in many cases seems to have everything. We seem to lose track whether it's the thought that counts, or the value of the gift to the person. At certain times of the year, we all struggle to find ways to say "I love you". Some need to express it in the form of material things, others find a phone call, a hand-written letter, or a hug their way to say how they feel. There are many ways of expressing Love. It doesn't always have to be a gift.

It doesn't even have to be somebody you know. It can include donating money to a worthwhile charity, or volunteering your time at a homeless shelter, or something of that nature. What's important is that at the end of the day, there has been an exchange of Love in one form or another. As we enter the Holiday Season it's important that we don't lose track of what all the giving is all about. One way or another it's supposed to be some form of Love. It doesn't really matter the size, or value of the gift, but that it was given with an open heart. In my faith, the true value of Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ and what He stood for. To me, He wasthe Prince of Peace, and Defender of Love.

There is no guarantee that any of us will be here this time next year.....maybe we should think about this when we approach the Holidays. What's really important...what you give Johnny for Christmas or what you conveyed to him throughout the year? It can't all be shown in one gift on one day....maybe that's why many of us find this time of year so frustrating. We're all caught up in the game of "catch-up".

Take the Time To Love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

Let Yourself Be Happy

1997-10-22T21:25:00.000-05:00

There are many people out there, I myself included, who have a hard time allowing good personal feelings to accumulate inside over a prolonged period of time. I don't know where it's written, but for some reason, many of us have a very hard time feeling good about ourselves. It's almost as if we're doing something wrong. There seems to be a little voice inside giving us advice like "Who do you think you are feeling this way?", "Don't let yourself feel this good, you'll only get hurt", or "You must think you're special". Well, I don't quite know why many of us do this to ourselves, but how many of us have been stopped moving forward to do a lot of good because of these so-called one-liners?

I myself, being a Christian, do not believe that God wants us to live an existence of excruciating pain here on planet earth. God wants us to enjoy life...to find our higher self and rejoice in it. It's not about self-centeredness...it's about giving and caring for others, as well as ourselves. The body, mind and soul need nourishment and at times, joy. Not allowing yourself to experience happiness diminishes your opinion of the value you have in this world. Each one of us is important and has so much to give. Evil itself goes to great lengths to beat up on us...we don't have to continue the process.

I'm not a big believer in the idea that to be a true Christian you must suffer. Even keeping a positive outlook many of us suffer enough. For me, to give in itself has tremendous joy. To not accept this joy is to diminish the giving. To give is to receive and to receive is to give..... it is all-connected.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

Impaired Senses

1997-10-15T21:25:00.000-05:00

How much do we take in everyday? And how much don't we? Yes, we go to work...do our things around the house, and basically try to keep our heads above water in most cases. Recently something interesting happened to me. I was out in my back garden with my three, yes three (!) little dogs....I was getting a kick out of watching them playing when all of a sudden one of my dogs (Elsie) stopped in her tracks to look at a group of birds that had landed on the fence. Elsie was in awe of the sounds that they were making, and how easily they could dart around. I just sat there and listened myself to the beautiful sound that those birds were making. I started thinking, why don't I hear this sound everyday? The birds probably have for quite some time been around my back garden, but I never noticed them in quite the same way before. The point I'm trying to make is how much do we let pass us by? With us being so caught up in our problems and pressures have we shut off certain aspects of our senses to things that we consider mundane? As I sat watching and listening to those birds I began to think to myself, how many other things have I factored out? What other aspects of living have I put on the back burner?

Our senses are the tools we use to gather information, to hopefully improve and make better judgements to enhance our lives. If we don't use these senses fully then the information we receive is incomplete. Simple things like hearing birds, and watching rain fall, matters. Just because it isn't the Wall Street Journal or the evening news, doesn't mean it doesn't have value. We are human beings, living on a planet that has many wonderous gifts....let's hope we haven't taken it so much for granted that we no longer can sense its real beauty.

The next time you go for a walk outside, open up, look around...you may experience things you haven't noticed for awhile....it may feel like seeing an old friend again...and bring a smile to your heart.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

There Will Always Be Excuses

1997-10-08T21:25:00.000-05:00

We all have goals, dreams and ambitions. Many spend every waking hour planning and implementing thoughts that they feel can get them one step further to their destination, while others, at the first sight of struggle or conflict, turn back. Growth is a good thing....but sometimes it can be painful and full of fear. As human beings, to feel fulfilled we seek growth. If we stop, the air around us starts to become stale, and we are engulfed with a feeling that something is wrong. It's not easy to overcome our fears but even if we don't, sometimes just the act of trying can be an exhilarating experience.

It's amazing what we can accomplish when we put our minds to it. We seem to rise to the occasion...we become focused and life takes on a whole new meaning. It's kind of strange...it's almost as if we're not meant to stay in one space for very long. Life kind of wants us to continue to move ahead in our lives. I'm not talking about leaving families or quitting jobs, etc....but evolving in them. Learning new things is not a bad thing. It makes us feel more valuable to ourselves and to others. The enemy, of course, the ultimate enemy, is excuses. Those little thoughts or words that others say or sometimes we say to ourselves to stop us dead in our tracks.

For every reason to succeed, there seems to be ten reasons to fail. The trick is to surround yourself with a support system that can include others and help from God. Positive reinforcements are vital to any avenue of success. Don't be afraid to ask for help....you just may get it. It's so easy to look back but sometimes so hard to look ahead. With the combination of faith, determination, conviction and love you can move mountains.....you can do it.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

Stability

1997-10-01T21:24:00.000-05:00

After the week many of us have had with the stock market it's no wonder we feel a little queasy this week-end. Some say "sell everything!" others say "buy everything!" and you find yourself having to choose between one side or the other while your heart tells you you belong somewhere in the middle.

I find the stock market very interesting....it kind of reflects many things we face in life. There are all kinds of viewpoints...some brokers say the world is coming to an end, others say this is a golden opportunity. I sometimes wonder, am I listening to stockbrokers, bankers, money managers or "fortune-tellers?" I have heard many fortune-tellers this week in the disguise of brokers, managers, and bankers. In all honesty, their guess is as good as ours.

We are told that the whole world is inter-connected...and to that I agree, but how much of the rhetoric are we to believe that if one part of the world sneezes we all catch a cold? It kind of takes away the control we have over our own destiny. It limits our choices and makes us doubt ourselves as if how we feel and what we think doesn't matter. " We" don't know, but "they" do.

More and more, many of my friends moods and how they feel on a given day is dictated by how the stock market is doing for that day. If the market is up, all is wonderful! Everyone's going to be a millionare and will live "happily ever after". On a bad day, we're all going to lose everything, our house, our car, and our families. It's the end of the world. What's scary to me is that more and more people are looking to portfolio balances for happiness. We have to be very careful here not to allow money to become everything to us. If all we do is allow the gyrations or the roller-coaster ride of the stock market to dictate how we feel and how valuable we feel we are there can be no true stability and peace of mind in our lives.

Some people I know who are very religious are having a terrible time with the conflict of the growth of their savings and God. They pray to God to help them find peace...but on the next breath they look over their balance sheets to see how much they are worth today, to find their true value. A dangerous game.
As I know we all need money to live, and we all want to invest in the best stocks, keep it in perspective...it is not who you are. In the end, that is determined by God and you.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

The Immune System

1997-09-24T21:24:00.000-05:00

I recently tuned into the evening news with Brian Williams (MSNBC). He reported that in a recent study it was found that people who were spiritually active had an immune system that was twice as strong, on the average. As I have mentioned in previous postings, I do believe we live on two levels, spiritually and physically.....so why wouldn't it be that if we take care of both parts of our existence we as human beings could be stronger? Everyday our immune systems are bombarded with negative forces. If we are aware of these forces we then can combat the destructive elements that invade our lives. The spiritual aspects of daily existence can no longer be ignored if we are to maintain a positive, long-term outlook on life. Spirituality eventually becomes the fuel to fulfill our goals. I try to see myself as part of the human picture....I am in some way responsible, like everyone else, for what happens here. We are all, in some way, connected...one human family. If there is anything that you find valuable don't be afraid, pass it along to others, because I do believe that everything eventually comes around again. A number of people have asked me if I am a New Age follower, a fundamentalist, or a "Bible-thumping maniac". Unfortunately, sometimes when you try to do good you are attacked. Unfortunately, if you embrace evil, you are often looked on as a person with a strong backbone. Let's hope it has not come to the point that goodness is looked upon as a weakness....for I am far from weak. Others along the way totally understand what it is I am trying to accomplish. I see us all as a family that is asking for guidance and looking for a way to understand why we are here. As I am a Christian, I do have love in my heart and I try in my own way to understand others who believe differently from me. To reject these principles, to me, is rejecting being Christian. Jesus understood this. Nobody is the same....we are all different. Maybe it's time we hold out a candle to each other, and hear each other. We may be surprised.… we may be trying to accomplish the same thing. As we need food, clothing, and shelter, we also need Love, caring and Faith. As we embrace the first three things, don't forget to understand that you also need the other three… they
may help your immune system!

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

Life, What's It All About?

1997-09-17T21:24:00.000-05:00

Over the past few weeks I have read and heard a growing number of comments from people about their purpose and value in this world. Many out there are searching for meaning and understanding concerning who they are and what it is they are to do here with their lives. A friend recently said to me "I don't get it, I have a nice car and a nice home but a feeling of emptiness is growing inside of me." I for one need to feel that I am contributing to myself and to others, so that I can end each day with a sense of being and accomplishment. Some do feel complete, but from what I'm hearing and seeing, many don't. The increase of disenchantment in people is alarming. Many of us have found Jesus and God the only way to fill the void, but others feel lost.

One person said to me a few days ago, "We are born, we make money, raise children, then we die...... that's it?" The people lost in the wilderness is growing ....if you know some, help them. Emptiness is a very lonely place. As I have said before, the soul must be nourished, spiritual fuel is vital in the quest for fulfillment. Man doesn't have all the answers, but if we look up and pray maybe with God's help we may find some. I believe there is a plan and a purpose to each one of us being here.........we all matter.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

Rising Depression

1997-09-10T21:23:00.000-05:00

Over the past few weeks I have read a number of articles about the situation of Depression in our society. A number of doctors have suggested that by the year 2010 the number one rising illness will be Depression. It was suggested that more drugs have to come through the pipeline to combat this growing problem. One of the definitons of Depression is "repressed anger". Are we becoming more and more angry because of the lack of ways we are finding to deal with the pain in our lives? I think many of us are feeling a lack of control over our lives.....kind of like a plane without a pilot, or a plane that does not go where we want it to go....no wonder we're frustrated. In some cases medication is needed...but I find it hard to believe that the entire solution for society is permanent medication!

I know in my case I need to feel a sense of purpose and control over my life. I believe that we live on two levels.....physically and spiritually. Could it be, myself included, that we don't see our spiritual needs as a priority for our physical well-being all of the time? Far too little is mentioned about the importance of the Soul and how it is needed to balance our lives. We all need to feel that there is a purpose to our lives. When that purpose is lacking we run into trouble. Nothing seems to make sense. In my case I try to put fifteen to twenty minutes a day aside to relax, get centered, and yes, pray. I find worshipping on Sundays with others in church a healing experience... I don't feel alone...I see how we all can help each other. With God's help, together we can find solutions. As the baby-boomers move towards their age of retirement my pastor has told me that more people are starting to return to church. Could it be they have found that all the money, all the cars, all of the material toys that they have at their disposal has left them feeling a void that is hard to fill? In some cases, many have not participated in a world of booming wealth...but they too feel the void.

I hope that in the coming years the focus will shift to a better understanding of why so many people are unhappy and angry. Until then, take care of yourself, feed your body.... feed your soul.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

Mother Teresa - Helper & Healer

1997-09-06T21:23:00.000-05:00

The world lost another woman of strong devotion this past week. Mother Teresa dedicated her life to providing comfort and compassion to some of the poorest people of the world. Followers of many different religions paid their respects to Mother Teresa this entire week. Many call her a "Saint"....that may be, but to me she is a true example of what being human is all about. Peace be with you, Mother Teresa, you have returned Home, and left our world a better place because you were here.

You took the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

Princess Diana - Citizen of the World

1997-09-01T21:22:00.000-05:00

Each one of us chooses what it is we want to be and want to give in this world. Through our experiences, good and bad decisions are made. The people we become can greatly affect the world.

This past week the world lost a great ambassador for human kindness and love. The outpouring of grief around the world has been astonishing. Although she was the Princess of Wales her outreach spanned many continents. I live here in America and I must say I have never seen anything like this since the death of President Kennedy. Most British consulates in my country have been flooded with flowers and letters of condolences. Rarely does a person's mourning extend beyond their own country.

I think something even more important is going on. Diana represented a number of qualities that we hold special in our hearts. Because of the suddenness and shocking nature of her death many feel they were not prepared to say goodbye to one more person of great kindness and compassion. The Princess was able to reach out to many people of different races, and religions. Somewhere inside she saw people as equal, as one. Her death, once again, represents to us the loss of some of our best qualities. We search for other people to fill the void, which is not easy. Her thirty-six years here were filled with pain and happiness....but in the end she did make a difference, and in some way she showed us a part of ourselves.

Peace be with you, Diana

You took the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

Inner Strength

1997-08-27T21:22:00.000-05:00

Inner strength is something we all need to keep us going everyday. Many times we look and see that the well is close to being empty. We search to find ways to replenish that well so that we can find the drive and the passion to continue on in our desire to evolve into better people and succeed at our goals.

Time and time again I too see my well go low....the demands of life these days are sometimes overwhelming. I just keep asking myself, how can I get it all done? I don't know if I ever can get it all done, but I try. This is why I believe it is so important to surround myself with people who encourage and support, and if that is not possible, there is always The One Who Listens....God, and also, in my case, Jesus Christ. When I find that nobody understands me, I know I can turn to somebody who truly sees me for who I am, and is there to help me along the way to accomplish what it is I feel I need to do in life.

From the letters I receive many people out there feel lost and abandoned. They look around for help and it seems nobody cares and nobody is listening. There are people who care....but I do believe it is important for a person to develop a relationship with God. Like all relationships, for it to blossom and continue to grow it must be dealt with on a regular basis. Many say they believe in God, but how many have a personal relationship with Him? God is there....all you have to do is ask. But really, the asking is the hard part because that involves believing that someone IS there....in other words, Faith.

My Faith is what gets me through in many cases. It is my core...it is the strength that I draw from to carry me along the way, when all sometimes seems hopeless. To me, nobody knows me better then God and Jesus.

I encourage everybody to develop their personal relationship with God....just as if you were developing a relationship with a friend or family member. In my life it has helped me understand myself better and to see the bigger picture.

Take the time,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

Free Will

1997-08-20T21:22:00.000-05:00

We all want to have the freedom of choice to choose how, when, and where we live. With that, comes the realization that our choices of freedom have ramifications, both positive and negative. When choices are made correctly a person is showered with praise and sometimes anointed with some sign of brilliance. But when mistakes are made, the blame is planted on the first foreseeable person or object. Example: "It's your fault this happened".

I find it interesting how easily God enters into this scenario. As we are given the freedom from birth to make choices, is it fair for us to blame God when we make the wrong choices? Yes we can pray to God for guidance, but once we pray is it fair to hold Jesus or God fully responsible for the outcome? If we cherish the pursuit of freedom and find anything less than it some form of slavery, is it fair to want freedom until we run into trouble and then let God take the blame for our mistakes?

I believe that free will and choice are very important components in our existence here on Earth. I think there is a very good reason why God has given us the ability to make choices. Maybe what happens to us along the way is seen as an evolution of the soul, and with each choice from free will we show God and other people who we are, and where we are going. Sometimes it's very easy to hurt people, and sometimes it's very hard to love them....but it's important for us to find ways around the roadblocks of our emotions.

God is often looked upon as some form of dominating, controlling force, but He has given us the choice on how we live our lives.....what better way to say "I LOVE YOU."

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

Who We Are

1997-08-13T21:22:00.000-05:00

We assume that the people we love, family, friends and co-workers truly know who we are deep down inside. We think that how we feel and think is automatically and correctly seen by others that we interact with on a daily basis. Sometimes that can be so far off from the truth. How many times have we heard the words, " I didn't know you were like that" or "I didn't know you look at things that way".... the point being it is so easy for people to misjudge us.

Communication is probably one of the most important tools that we must learn to use correctly. When communication breaks down everything is up for grabs......any miscalculation can solidify. There are so many people who speak different languages and different dialects of that language that it is so easy for one word to mean one thing to one person, and something else to another. Add to that the way we were raised, and our religious upbringings, and it is easy to see how things have become quite messy.

How many people who live together all their lives really know each other? Just because you're married 50 years doesn't mean you truly understand the person who shares your space. We keep so much of what we think and how we feel bottled up inside. We assume that the other person must know what we think and feel because we live together. It's almost as if we believe we can read each other's minds at will. Well we are not God, we are human, and we make mistakes.... but they can be corrected. Don't be afraid to ask questions...you may be surprised at the answers.

Ask somebody who is close to divorce what happened? Yes sometimes they did marry the wrong person....but many times the communication between the two of them collapsed. I think it's very important that members of families take an hour or two a week to discuss things that are on their minds. You may not like what you hear, but at least you're hearing it. And they too hear you. All points of view should be respected....this involves sitting around a table looking at your family as individuals, not as masters and slaves, or whatever. If you take the time to listen, you may regain love and see things differently. Once you get past the anger, you may find peace.

If we can do this with our families and relationships, perhaps we can do this with the world.....please God.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

The Classroom

1997-08-06T21:21:00.000-05:00

I try to look at life as one big classroom, a place where we learn about others, ourselves and hopefully the work that really matters. I believe there is a reason why each one of us is here. We are born and we die but what's really important is what we learn in-between.

Every morning class begins.

We are tested, we interact with our fellow classmates, we share information, we struggle to progress. Some are gifted in one way, some are gifted in another, but as we look around, we start to see the uniqueness and the differences in the contributions we make to this place called Earth. It isn't perfect, this place called Earth, and yes there are bad students, people who refuse to learn, people in pain, and people who are lost, but they too matter. In this classroom none of us have all the answers, but what's important is that we try to find them. Effort, in the end, I believe, is rewarded. Yes it is easy to sit back and watch others do the work, but is that what we're really here for?

So, what is the work of the classroom? To contribute? Help? Or sit back and do nothing? Doing nothing is very easy. The work is giving, loving, sacrificing, understanding, caring and keeping faith, so that we can bring a little bit of Heaven to our classroom called Earth

As we attend class everyday, watching us is God. Our struggles, our successes, our fears and triumphs are noticed. I know many have given up on God, but the Shepherd does feel for His flock. As we move on in life, we take with us all the things that we learn in the classroom. We may never learn everything, but the work we leave behind is so important...it says we were here.

At the end of our lives, we receive our report-card. Some do well, some don't. But on that card, it's important that we get an "A" for effort. We may not have done all that we came here to do, but we tried......and God knows if we've tried.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

Nobody's Perfect

1997-07-30T21:21:00.000-05:00

We all go about our lives everyday interacting, doing jobs, trying, hopefully, in our own way, to succeed at some level of accomplishment.... but sometimes our choices are not the right ones. We can lead ourselves down the wrong road, cross the wrong street, and before we know it we're halfway on a journey that at some point we see is the wrong one. Mistakes are miscalculations that we should not fear making. None of us have all of the answers all of the time. But we continue to put tremendous pressure on ourselves to be perfect. Failure, for some, is just not acceptable, but how else do we learn?

Perfection is a trap. It sets you up for the situation that anything short of it is unacceptable. Perfection is also a weapon that can be used by you and against you. For a brief moment, it is obtainable, until the next mistake. A baseball team strives to win the most games in a season. If it wins miraculously all its games that season the team is then set up to duplicate the feat next year. Anything short of winning every game again becomes unacceptable. They are looked upon as losers, even if the number is 99%. So too are we in life.

It's important to do your work to the best of your ability...to strive to get better...a job well done. But reward yourself along the way....look back and say "How about that! I did it!" To me, life is a journey along a road that sometimes bends and weaves...once in awhile it's important to stop and look back and see how far we've come before proceeding to the next destination. Where the road ends, only God knows, but to get there we need sometimes to reflect and recharge before continuing on. Each one of us writes the book of our lives....it may not be a best-seller but it's important that it makes a difference. Many of us make a difference, but we don't allow ourselves to see it.

We're all too busy chasing what we haven't done, instead of rejoicing in what we have accomplished. Yes strive to be better, by all means, but don't lose track of how good you've become through your mistakes and insight.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

Keeping Up

1997-07-16T21:21:00.000-05:00

Things these days just seem to keep going faster and faster....there never seems to be enough hours in the day to get everything done, but we carry on and try the best we can. I don't know about you, but as soon as I learn something the next week there is either an upgrade, an extension, or a continuation to further learn. This has to do with everything...newspapers,television reports, on-the-job learning (computers, etc.) Yes I know progress is important, but it is very easy to get overwhelmed by the amount of information that we are being bombarded with everyday. It is very easy to feel that if we don't learn fast enough we will be left behind.

The time that we have available often has to be split up into sections.....time for family, time for friends, personal reflection, and work. I recently read an article that said that most working parents prefer time at the workplace to time at home. They look at home as their second job, that is less controllable. These days we have a lot on our plates. Just about everywhere I go I see people just trying to keep their heads above water. Television and magazines, etc. show us people who are wealthy, successful, and short of nothing...the "beautiful people". I'm sure it must leave many feeling "What did I do wrong?" Why aren't I "keeping up?" Well most people in the real world are struggling. In 1953 a man on minimum wage could afford a new house, a new car every 3 years, and his wife could stay at home to raise the 2 children. What happened?? Yes I know Wall Street is booming, and the unemployment rate is very low, but something's wrong with this picture.

I am a singer/songwriter....and I believe artists are supposed to be able to see, reflect, and sometimes offer solutions through their art. What I'm seeing in many people's eyes is pain, confusion, and disbelief at what is happening around them....almost like a train that has been derailed. I believe that there are two parts to our existence, the body and the soul, and if the eyes are the true "windows to the soul", then many souls are hurting.

I don't have all the answers....maybe none of us do....but each of us have SOME of the answers, and perhaps with God's help we can start to paint a new picture. We're all in this together.

Take the time to share,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

Taking People for Granted

1997-07-09T21:20:00.000-05:00

Every one of us at some point or another are guilty of believing that people we care about will always be there for us and always be available. But I'm afraid that it isn't necessarily so. Many of us seem to have a tendency to put off things we want to say and do until tommorow..... sometimes we run out of tommorows.
Our mothers, fathers, family and friends are the core that we interact with everyday. We must always realize that there are no guarantees that each one of them will be available to us at will. By thinking that they will always be there, we can very easily take them for granted. The good deeds and the contributions that they make to our lives can sometimes go by unnoticed. We casually can mutter a phrase like "Mom's always there", "Anne's a great friend", "Isn't Dad great?" like a programmed response with not a second thought to it.

Then one day, out of the blue, the phone doesn't ring, the letters stop coming...the person is gone. At that point we begin to realize just how much we've lost. The space that's left in our lives that was once full is now empty. Regret starts creeping into our thoughts that maybe we didn't say enough to the person while they were still here. Even though it is very hard, and sometimes impossible to change the past, we can change the present. Look around....think about who in your life contributes to your development on a regular basis...and those that you, too, help. "Thank you" is not a very difficult phrase to say...but its meaning to a given person can be tremendous.

It's okay to tell people how much you need them and how much you love them. Do it while they're here.

Take the time to love,

© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

Energy Levels

1997-07-04T21:20:00.000-05:00

My last essay had to do with how important it is to recharge our batteries, so that we don't run out of energy. This week I'd like to expand a little on that, to bring up the topic of energy levels.
I don't know about you, but I find sources of positive inspiration vital to my everyday outlook. After a hard day at work, coming through the door and seeing a beautiful painting or smelling a wonderful fragrance can do wonders as a pick-me-up. It's a good idea to find places around the home that can become sources of positive energy, perhaps like a certain phrase hanging on the wall that brings about a smile to your face and to others. In my case, music can create a wonderful form of atmosphere to relax and inspire. We all need times of relaxation and stimulation.

Because of the level of negative energy we are combatted with every day it's important that we supply ourselves with at least an equal amount of uplifting sources. I sometimes look at people as little cars, meaning, what kind of gas do we fill our tanks with? What kind of mileage can we expect from the gasoline that we choose? Yes I know some people are going to say, "is she crazy...cars?" But I use the metaphor because, as with a car, you get out what you put in!!

The spirit, too, needs positive affirmation. It's not a bad idea to keep a Bible and or other forms of spiritual reading material around the house. Yes I believe the soul too can be depleted and need a re-fill.
So the next time you look around your home think about ways to make it a more uplifting environment for you and/or your family....and at work, a flower on your desk, or a special photograph can do wonders for that certain time of the day when you feel depressed or hassled. People do react to the messages you send out daily. Like a pebble thrown in a pond we create concentric circles that affect others, and eventually ourselves too.

Take the time to enjoy,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

Preserve Your Memories

1997-07-01T21:20:00.000-05:00

Many of us these days live our lives like a rocket, zooming through days, weeks and years stopping for a glance or two to make sure that the coast is clear to continue on at breakneck speed. We rarely wonder if there is ever any evidence left behind to show that we had been at a certain place at a certain time. This time of year many of us enter a season where we get together with friends and family we haven't seen for quite awhile. We sit around a dinner table saying the same lines and passing the same thoughts as if we're on automatic pilot. You see, it's not that we don't love these people, it's just that in many cases we either forget to say it, or we feel one day we'll get around to letting them know how important they are.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if at some point around the dinner table somebody pulled out a video tape or cassette recorder to capture the moments of a special family get-together. I'm not just talking about people joking and laughing, and yes sometimes acting like a bunch of fools, but hearing how we all feel and need each other. It's not easy to just say how much you love people in front of them, but maybe in some way through our own words we can get the message across. This eventually will take on a life of it's own. When some of the people have passed on there becomes a record of who they were and how they truly felt. In some way it may help us heal from the pain of our
loss.

I have heard of a number of families who are starting to take this kind of thing to heart. Some are going so far as to start a kind of "family library", containing photographs, documents, cassette recordings, and now videos as a way to show future generations the family tree as a living legacy. My mother recently mailed me a series of cassettes that my maternal grandmother made before she passed on, telling family stories that wove a wonderful fabric of family history and anecdotes. I will treasure these tapes, and will pass them on to my son at some point. You see, my son didn't
really know his Great-Grandmother... but through these tapes he now will have a better knowledge of who came before him. How many of us truly know the generations who came before us? Do you know how your great-Grandfather was? How he looked, and what he did to pass the time? Don't feel bad if you don't....so few of us do. These family records are important... and what a joy to look back on.

So this Holiday season as you spend time with loved ones, and as you pull out the camera to take pictures, turn on the video or cassette recorder....with time it just becomes more and more valuable.

Take the time to preserve,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

Recharge the Batteries

1997-06-25T21:19:00.000-05:00

A couple of years ago I mentioned to a friend of mine that in a few days it would be my birthday, so he asked me what was I planning to do too celebrate? I told him nothing special, just to try to enjoy the day. He commented that my birthday should be a very special day to me...it's my day, and that I should do something special for myself. When my birthday arrived I went by myself to see a movie. I realized that taking the time to be alone for a couple of hours was very relaxing and enjoyable, and I returned home feeling quite refreshed. This got me thinking....that it's very important that a person takes time, even if they can only spare one or two hours a week, to go off by themselves for a walk, or a drive etc...so that they can colllect their thoughts, and let go of some of the stress.

It's so important that we make the time, once in awhile, to recharge our batteries. It's good for our health and emotional well-being. Spending time with family and friends is important, but taking time to enjoy life alone can be equally rewarding. It allows us the benefit of relaxing and returning to our loved ones energized and focused. An empty well can only give so much

Spending time alone is not a selfish act, even though some may feel threatened by it. A happier you can give so much more to yourself and to others. Nobody "owns" anybody and although we do have responsibilities in life to those we love there is only so much we can continue to give without feeling exhausted. These days with both parents working and people at times working longer hours the pressure and stress levels can rise to critical proportions. Sometimes it's just smart to "cool out".
It's okay sometimes to take one step back, so you can move two steps forward.

Fill the well,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

Two Kinds of People

1997-06-11T21:19:00.000-05:00

As many of us have come to realize, overall there are basically two types of people....those that are here to help bring people together through their actions and those that will do everything in their power to keep people apart. The choice is made by each one of us. There are many out there who are making incredible efforts to make our world a better place and to point out to us the things that we lack so that we can personally contribute to others and to ourselves to repair the damage when needed. Yes, making a living is important, but underlying most of our actions are other contributions that we make to society. Positive thinking people have realized that it is a dead-end street to keep barriers up between human beings. The question is, can we continue to go forward without first healing the divisions that surround us as a society?

There are those who spend many waking hours looking for ways to find fault and to ridicule. They scrutinize every word and every action to search for the point where they can contribute the element that is needed to set up a roadblock, hoping that through this action it will encourage others to follow. Fear and hate are very powerful weapons. Once they get a hold on your system they can spread through a person like a cancer. If the person is willing, there can be a cure.

Each one of us, sometimes week by week, make the choice on who it is we are to be. It's not easy being optimistic but it is a position of strength. It's very easy to find fault in everything, and to show others no sign of hope.

At the end of our lives, what is it that we'll look back at? How we made a difference for the good, or how many notches we have on our belt for the damage we've inflicted?

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

Heroes

1997-06-03T21:18:00.000-05:00

In all walks of life somewhere at some time somebody contributes...somebody cares enough to make a difference. Through ridicule, envy and jealousy some special souls out there are making this planet, and in some cases, our lives, a better place to live. So many little actions contribute a tremendous amount of love for people to understand that there are individuals who can see through the obstacles and setbacks that surround us everyday.

I walk through the park every week-end....a place to me of an abundance of life. There are people sitting on benches, talking about their families, children playing little league and soccer...all interacting and sharing their energy and ideas. I visit a coffee shop in the morning where people sit around, talk and laugh, and look for inspiration to battle through the day. A man can enter, feeling lonely, depressed and lost. But he leaves after a hearty conversation with a smile and feeling upbeat. The interaction between people is a very powerful tool. Just a little word to a person at the right time can make a world of difference. We all need encouragement...somebody who understands and are in some way in the same boat with us. We don't want to feel alone. We forget sometimes that our words have incredible meaning to people that we meet, and vice-versa. Words can heal, and words can hurt.

It's a great feeling when you interact with a friend, or perhaps a stranger that you may never see again....and if you can be a shoulder and see them leaving with a smile, you have contributed to their lives. Heroes are not only people who do heroic things on a grand scale, but they are also people who can help people with just one word. "The little guy or girl" matters. Each one of us everyday can be a hero to somebody. It doesn't take a lot of work, just a smile, a gesture, holding the door for somebody...but it sends someone off that day with a positive feeling.

Goodness can multiply....I think in some strange way we've been led to believe that unless we stand out in society we don't count. Well, they're wrong. Heroes live on every street, in every town, in every neck of the woods. Some are out and about giving of themselves everyday, and some are sleeping. Some heroes sleep, waiting to be called upon to make a difference for the better. So if you're a hero, my thanks to you. And if you're a sleeping hero, it's your time to awaken. People need you. God cannot have enough soldiers.

A former sleeping soldier,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

Finding Direction in Life

1997-05-21T21:18:00.000-05:00

Every morning we get up and go about our day heavily influenced by the things that happen to us. After awhile we start to resemble a bouncing ball that bounces from side to side, never knowing where it's going next. It seems to be a process that continues year after year, and as we look back we never seem to quite know where the time went. Many times in my life I've felt like a sailor on a ship that had no destination or course. The steering wheel turned where it wanted, with no one showing the way. At some point each one of us has to walk towards that wheel, as fearful as it may seem, and grab it and begin to take control of our lives. As we chart our course we have to ask ourselves "Who am I? And where am I going?" One thing I've learned along the way is that if I'm not honest with myself about what it is that I want to do with my life, it becomes almost impossible to find a sense of fulfillment and a lasting happiness. I've tried to do a number of things in life...most of the time for the wrong reasons. I guess we all become preoccupied with what it is other people want us to be, sometimes even with good intentions. It's important at certain points to stop and listen to your heart. In my case, I've always loved writing songs...songs that say things, not just something with a good beat. It took me awhile to accept that this was what I must do with my life. Part of the reason it took me awhile to accept this was because it meant taking risks. I am currently at work on my third album. The letters that I have received from people regarding my first two records are the fuel that keeps my ship going and on course. In my life I find spiritual guidance and personal reflection a very valuable source for the times when I get scared and feel that I'm losing my way. With God's help, the answers come, and my music keeps evolving. My ship sometimes sails through stormy weather but what keeps me going is that somewhere on the horizon I know I will see the sun. Very rarely is there smooth sailing all of the time. We must battle our storms...but the journey must be undertaken so that we can see how important and needed we are as individuals. So if you haven't already, don't be afraid...take control of your ship. Sail the sea to your destination and discover the wonder of who you are and what you can be.

Good Sailing!

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon