Serrated Edges

Guru 4u

2008-07-04T06:37:00.002+07:00

I will start doing yoga, just as soon as I find that brand of yoga pants that Oprah mentioned on her show, as well as the Om Shanti yoga mat, and, of course, once I decide upon whether I'm going to practice Jnana Yoga, Hatha Yoga, Karma Yoga, Raja Yoga or Bhakti Yoga, or a suitable combination.

I'm always struck by how all things spiritual, when adopted by the West, quickly turn into commercial ventures, as this story on a new age retreat illustrates.

And it's hard not to spot the irony in the wellness movement here in Thailand, which is driven by the hospitality industry (every resort is adding the moniker "& Spa" to its brand name), and, from what I can gather, run mainly by expat Westerners.

Yoga, and its best friend massage, has been practiced in Thailand for something like 2,000 years, but only in the last 10 years or so has it been discovered that stimulating chakra flow is also a pretty good way to unblock one's cash flow, too.

Chi-ching!

Snippets

2008-07-02T22:32:00.003+07:00

We're heading to Canada soon, the first time travelling as a family of four. I'm really looking forward to getting there; really, really dreading the flight. Not quite sure what we'll do with a 3-year-old and a 20-month-old in a confined space for 20+ hours (plus hours of airport waiting time).

I'm bracing for the worst: zero minutes of sleep + hysterical childiren + major spillage and/or vomiting and/or leaky diapers + massive delays or flight cancellations + hateful stares from all airline passengers and staff.

At the same time, I'm planning to adopt a temporary mantra: "Air travel is fun. Air travel is fun. Air travel is tons o' fun. Nonstop fun air travel is."

I'm hoping this dual plan of attack in coping will help those hours slip by quickly and with minimum pain. I figure if I'm prepared for the worst, catching 10 minutes of sleep and arriving to Calgary with a clean shirt will feel like a triumph.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to experiencing cool, bone-dry air and random sightings of cowboys, not to mention meeting my brother-in-law for the first time, as well as a 1-year-old nephew. Hoping to kick back with both of my grannys, who now live in the same apartment building, for our convenience.

I'm keen to use a piece of technology that I don't have here: a dryer. It shall be nice to just chuck a pile of clothes into this magical box and pull them out within the hour all fresh and warm, and not have to worry about a monsoon storm blowing through and soaking everything.

My poor jeans have had a hard time this season. Not only do they smell like sewer most of the time, but the last time I pulled them off the clothesrack after hanging them out to dry, I noticed that the entire ass was carpeted with stinging red ants. I calmly removed them by doing the HOLY SHIT I'VE GOT ANTS ON MY PANTS dance, swinging them wildly, beating them against the balcony rail.

And I wore them yesterday, feeling extremely attractive now knowing that my ass is the place where ants go to die.

And here's a random fact: I don't currently own a single pair of shorts, and I still wear jeans, even though the average daytime temperatures are almost always 30+ degrees C and humidity averages at something like 600%.

Prairie girls die hard.

I do love flip-flops though.

My son's not so keen on flip-flops lately after having a run-in with an evil green creature. He was running across the yard when he suddenly stopped and started screaming and waving his foot around. I rushed over and saw that a huge praying mantis was clinging on the side of his foot.

Luckily there was a stick on the ground nearby so I grabbed it and used it to flick the thing off. As soon as it hit the ground Sunny the Great Hunter cat pounced on it and that was that.

What was dat!? my son asked.

I took him inside, gently sat him down, and Googled it.

And we spent the next half hour or so poring over pictures of praying mantises, while I tried to erase the image of these giant black eyes staring at me while the cat mauled it.

Tonight, as I sat in the living room, a tree frog jumped on the window right beside my head.

Earlier today, I noticed that termites had formed a little tunnel all along the back wall of our bathroom and up into our cupboard under the sink, and had set up a full-blown termite resort in a package of, err, sanitary products.

Getting back to the land of gophers and garter snakes will be a nice break from all these creepy creatures here in the tropics. My home and sterile land!

Revealing my inner geek

2008-06-26T22:53:00.007+07:00

I love geeks. I don't know why, but I find them fascinating. Maybe they're a bit like the mystics and soothsayers of ages past - they understand the deep inner workings of things and seem to hold the knowledge that can unlock the powers of the universe.

And maybe there's a bit of affection for a category of people who in the past were considered weirdos and outcasts. The triumph of the underdog, on a grand scale. The kid you picked on in 4th grade is now creating things used by millions of people across the globe and getting wildly rich in doing so.

Bill Gates maybe didn't have too many friends as a youngster. These days, he's getting 4 million emails a day and there's approximately 2 billion people who would like to be his friend. (Another 2 billion are sworn enemies, of course, but that's a different story.)

My first introduction to computers was in a class in high school, which I recall only vaguely. I lacked a knack for the rudimentary programming functions I was trying to do. If I remember correctly, I was supposed to write some code to track points on some coordinates to make a rectangle or some such. I happily plugged in all the digits and doohickys, pressed "Enter" and up on the screen popped a tangle of criss-crossing lines.

I'm afraid to say that my programming skills have developed by a factor of zilch since that day. I will never be part of the pocket-protector set, and I will probably never understand how Internet technology works but I'm darn glad it does.

Since creating my little tangleweed code, the ways in which computer and Internet technology can go rapidly wrong has caught my interest as much as the geeks who orchestrate the whole web-shebang.

So I love reading things like this, from a Vanity Fair article about the birth of the Internet:

"There were countless snags. One of my friends figured out that you could order a negative quantity of books. And we would credit your credit card and then, I guess, wait for you to deliver the books to us. We fixed that one very quickly."
- Jeff Bezos, describing the launch of Amazon.com

A negative book order. Now that's the ultimate geek-cool.

I also love how IT is still very much a playground for the young. The founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, was born in 1983, for example.

People who were born in 1983 should not feasibly be running a company that was once offered - and turned down - a $900 million buyout offer from Yahoo.

People who were born in 1983 should not be sitting atop something with a market-cap potential into the billions. No, people of such an age should really be serving me coffee in a cafe somewhere.

Anyway, he's a geek so I love him.

Mr Zuckerberg, if you're ever in the neighborhood, maybe we can meet up for a chat about all things Internet. And, by the way, I like my coffee toasty hot with a splash of cream.

Sweet solstice

2008-06-22T22:01:00.006+07:00

I realized today that we've just passed summer solstice. It's easy to forget -- here in Thailand it's not like I've been holed up for 6 months waiting for the spring thaw and lengthening days. The days do lengthen, but by minutes only here at 8 degrees latitude north.

People from more northerly climates ask me if I miss "the seasons". Quick answer: winter, no. Long answer: well, we do have seasons here in Phuket, three* in fact but they bring more subtle changes.

Today, for example, while I was driving just after a rainstorm, the sky was a dramatic deep blue with swirls of charcoal lined with the hidden sun's white hot rays. The hills in the distance appeared as an impressionistic painting, being slightly fuzzed out by the raindrops.

It's only this time of year that the sky has such a quality.

"Summer" here is the season of drama, with the southwest monsoon winds blowing in making the waves rise and pound against the shorelines, causing stately trees to crack in storms, and more rain in a season that I probably saw in a lifetime out on the prairies of Canada.

I love it. Sipping tea on a comfy chair inside while watching sheets of rain smash into the house while all the trees are being whipped mercilessly by the wind is pure bliss.

Some like it hot. I like it wild and windy.

Here's to summer and its never-ending days!

And, while on the topic, here's a fine Mary Oliver poem all about summer, too.

*The Seasons: 1) Hot, 2) Hot & wet, and, 3) Unbearably hot.

Think we've got some explaining to do

2008-06-21T22:05:00.004+07:00

These Berenstain Bears keep sparking conversations with my son, 3, that I'm not quite ready to handle yet. The story about the new little sister bear's arrival, with illustrations of the pregnant mama bear, gets him all in a tizzy.

Tonight, the talk went something like this:

"And so mom ate me and I was a seed and I was in mom's stomach and then I grew and grew up big and POPPED out of mom's face and my face came out of her face and I was big and strong and I did that I really POPPED out and, and...."

[Repeats the entire scenario in Thai to my hubby; then again back to me, in English]

Both my husband and I said "uhhhh yeah", and provided no further elaboration.

Not quite sure when to reveal the shocking truth about where, indeed, his face popped out. Poor kid's having a bit of trouble falling asleep this week; would hate at this point to plant an image that might make his head swirl any more than necessary.

I fear his funny little tale will lead to horrific misconceptions on sex and babies like these, at Savage Love.

But, for now at least, it's my cheap entertainment on a Saturday night.

A loo for you, you AND YOU!

2008-06-18T22:45:00.002+07:00

It's one of the first things a visitor to Thailand will notice: the large number of very pretty, often very sexy, shemales, known here as katoey.

So this news story about a transvestite toilet being set up in a secondary school is surprising only to those who have never been here. Though I guess it is rather surprising that a wee, poor remote province near Cambodia is the torch bearer in this new movement to accommodate the third sex.

I've shared many a public restroom with a katoey, and it frankly never occurred to me to be bothered by it. But I suppose among 16 year olds the sentiment may be different!

Anyway, katoey do have a special place in the hearts and minds of many here in Thailand, so it's fair enough that they should be given their own pot to piss in.

To get an idea of what I'm talking about, check out this Pattaya Daily News story and photos about Thailand's top katoey beauty pageant, Miss Tiffany. Pretty no?

Fanatical feminist views & motherhood

2008-06-18T00:52:00.004+07:00

Geez, this article by Rebecca Walker, the daughter of author Alice Walker, is certainly disturbing.

I'm equal parts sad for Rebecca and her lonely, painful experiences, appalled at her spiteful airing of her mother's dirty laundry and confused about the purpose of it all.

She closes by saying that all that matters to her now is a happy family. Looks like a real work in progress there.

Anyway, now she's probably ruined Alice Walker for me, since with any future reading I might do of her work, I'll be imagining her penning it in her studio while her young daughter sits alone at home 100 miles away.

Maybe that was the purpose...?

Gone postal

2008-06-16T20:57:00.003+07:00

Non-postal, actually. The ol' writing fingers have seized up this week, and my brain along with them.

Hopefully the muse, that fragile, fleeting beauty, will return soon.

But anyway, life is good, in case anyone was wondering...

:)

Hit me

2008-06-09T22:06:00.004+07:00

Coffeeeeeeee. I need coffeeeeeee.

I don't know what's going on but it's taking me forever to log into Blogger tonight.

I hope the government isn't trying to block it again. If this is the case, then...a letter:

Dear Government of Thailand,

If you are reading this blog, please take note. Efforts to muzzle the free speech of your citizens and guests is a futile, stupid effort.

Most people using the web are smarter than you. Their mindset is in the 21st century. Freedom of expression in any shape or form is a thing to be be feared only by power-hungry tyrants who worry that an unleashing of inquiry and information about their dodgy deeds will topple them, and rightly so.

If you try to suppress the people, they will work around you. Thais are the masters of the workaround, having been forced to do so under successive regimes of failure and incompetence.

Stop the cronyism. Get with the program. Yes, the program of Democracy and Free Speech. Or you will be left behind by the enlightened and free people of this world.

If you fear your people so much, then do us all a favor and Leave. Go to Zimbabwe or somewhere like that where people like you tend to flock. Flock off Government!

Sincerely,
Ms Serrated

Was kinda one of those days...

2008-06-04T22:09:00.005+07:00

Madness. Sheer madness today. And, no, I'm not talking about Hillary Clinton.

Total chaos today. I'm not into astrology but I think the stars are misaligned somehow. Starting from 8 am today it has been a series of mishaps, breakdowns, miscommunications with a little bit of conflict, road rage, rapid-fire SMS messages, pressing editorial deadlines and badly-timed messy diapers thrown in.

Felt like a fish on a hook today, being reeled along as I bounced around wildly, confused yet fighting it all the way.

Won't bore you with the details, but here is but one moment that reflects the essence of the day:

While driving home from work after picking up the kids, and ignoring the phone calls and text messages from frustrated people (as a result of a convergence of technical breakdowns at the apartment building my family runs), my son used his precious little toe to open the car's back window.

I promptly put it up, telling him it was too hot and too stinky to keep it down - we were stuck in traffic on a 35-degree-Celsius-brain-melting-insane-humidity day, and there was no chance I was doing this trip without the aircon.

As we all know, the favourite word a 3-year-old likes to hear is, "No."

The word "No" is like a trigger that makes an otherwise sane child explode into a babbling fit at the total unfairness of the universe in which he rules.

"WINDOW DOWN! WINDOW! DOWN! WINDOW! DOWN! DOWN! DOWN!"

...followed by...

"I LIKE HOT STINK! I LIKE HOT STINK!I LIKE HOT STINK! I LIKE HOT STINK! I LIKE HOT STINK! I LIKE HOT STINK!"

This was the blast from the back seat today for the remainder of our journey.

My cooing talk to try to calm him down kept getting interrupted by my chortles of laughter.

I LIKE HOT STINK!

My new mantra, whenever the day gets me down.

Gem of the week

2008-06-01T23:58:00.005+07:00

Brand spankin' new beach!

At least to me, it is. My husband took me to this beach on Saturday - didn't know it even existed on our fair isle until yesterday. Almost slid off the single-lane, curvy, hilly road getting there, but it was well worth it.

Hot as fricken' blazes though. Didn't know how the pix would turn out because I was so blinded by the sunlight on the sand.

But overall, pretty darn close to paradise. In fact, that's what it's called: Paradise Beach.

Someone got here first, darnit!

Our little friend, a monitor lizard, called "hia" in Thai.

My new office ... I wish!

Can't we all just get along?

2008-05-31T23:27:00.007+07:00

Things are heating up in Bangkok again. Looks like the demonstration was diffused tonight, but who knows how things will play out in the weeks and months ahead.

The ugly days have not yet ended, I fear.

Bangkok Post story, dated May 31, 2008, is pasted in below since they have a strange habit of wiping out their web page content when shifting news into archives...

Riot police confront demonstrators

UPDATE: (BangkokPost.com) - Tension between several thousand anti-government protesters and rows of riot police appeared to ease just before dusk on Saturday, but demonstrators vowed they would not give up their street protest despite an order by the prime minister to disperse.

In a throwback to mass demonstrations of 2006, speakers led the crowd in chants of "Samak... ok pai" (Samak, get out).

Prime Minister Samak Sundaravej ordered the week-old demonstration ended today. It appeared that would happen only by force, as the protesters vowed to remain on the street until they toppled Mr Samak's government.

Hundreds of police in riot helmets and shields confronted a line of protesters, and it was clear that trouble still was possible.

Most of several thousand police pulled back and took off their riot gear just before dusk. The People's Alliance for Democracy (PAD) kept up a noisy street protest, while some PAD members faced off with a line of riot police across a five-metre barricade just behind the protest.

Ealier report:

(BangkokPost.com) - More than 200 riot police arrived at the Ratchadamnoen Avenue on Saturday afternoon and began forming skirmish lines opposite what appears to be 1,000 or more anti-government protesters, amid signs they would try to clear the streets.

Members of the People's Alliance for Democracy made lines behind a barricade about 10 metres away.

Police reinforcements were receiving helmets, shields and truncheons, but had no firearms in sight. Many in the PAD crowd had home-made plywood shields and indicated they would try to resist any police advance.

The police, all armed, came on 10 buses and stationed in front of the Education Ministry at 6.30pm.

Five PAD core leaders announced that they are ready to be arrested but the rallies would continue.

The protesters have blocked main Bangkok streets in the old city, or Rattanakosin area, for a week. Prime Minister Samak Sundaravej on Saturday morning ordered the demonstration cleared by nightfall and a confrontation began to appear inevitable at 5pm Thailand time.

Happy daze

2008-05-28T21:37:00.002+07:00

Happiness is...

A new toy

A big patch of grass

Funky flip-flops

And a buddy to discover the world with

Boobs rule

2008-05-26T23:10:00.002+07:00

Knowing what I know now about babies and breastfeeding and the stresses and strains and beauty of giving milk - giving life - to an infant, and how simply being the mother of a 6-month-old is a massive life-jolting experience in itself, Jiang Xiaojuan in China's earthquake disaster zone is nothing less than extraordinary.

An amazing mother, life-saver, human. An inspiration to us all.

My promise to the American people: Not gonna die

2008-05-23T22:26:00.005+07:00

Is this a joke?

It must be a slow news day today or something because this story - 'McCain appears cancer-free, healthy' - seems to be at the top of all the news aggregate sites today.

I guess it's hard to get news coverage in the midst of the Obama-Clinton battle, but jeez, couldn't McCain's PR hacks come up with something a bit, err, less depressing?

Or are they so deprived of ideas that the state of McCain's health was the best they could come up with?

Obama: Audacity of Hope!
Clinton: Change! Experience!
McCain: Cancer-free!

And why are supposedly respected news gatherers bothering with this fluff?

This tidbit is worth quoting at length:

****
This time, the AP examined the documents over several hours Thursday in a conference room of a resort just outside of Phoenix and a few miles from the posh Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale, where McCain receives most of his medical care under a pseudonym — which the AP was asked not to disclose...

The documents include very personal details, such as the fact that he had earwax removed earlier this year... [emphasis added]
****

I guess he can now add "Earwax-free!" to his slogan files.

The AP spent several hours - at a resort no less - poring over the medical records of a 72-year-old man. Ummm, can we grab some perspective people? Get thee to Burma! Or China! Or someplace where there's, like, NEWS happening!

This quote got me thinking...

2008-05-23T22:24:00.002+07:00

Good health is simply the slowest way a human being can die.
- Author unknown

Uh oh, Mercury!

2008-05-21T21:19:00.003+07:00

Wow, this is one of the most amazing website designs I've ever seen: Unscrew America

And for a good cause, too.

Groovy!

Live, suffer, die, chill

2008-05-19T20:02:00.015+07:00

Today is Visakha Bucha day - the day that marks the birth, the enlightenment and the death of Siddharta Gautama, aka the Lord Buddha.

It is said that on his 36th birthday, while meditating at the base of a Bodhi tree, the Buddha came to understand the four noble truths of existence, which are:

1. Life is suffering.
2. This suffering is caused by desire, or attachment.
3. That without attachment, suffering ceases to exist.
4. There is a path to extinguish this attachment, and end the suffering: the Noble Eightfold Path.

And the steps along the Eightfold Path are: Right View, Right Intention, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration.

Whenever I read and reflect upon about these discoveries that brought the Buddha into a state of enlightenment, I think "Yes, how simple! Exactly!" every time. These truths are, you know, just SO TRUE!

Truth #1 I've got down pat. Living here in Asia, you don't have to go far to see that, indeed, life is suffering. Life is shit, handed to you in the form of a cyclone or an earthquake, oftentimes. Tens of thousands of Asians, even hundreds of thousands, wiped off the face of the earth in the space of two weeks, and millions more left in sick, miserable condition. Suffering, yes, I've got it, and thankfully the most stark forms of suffering (hunger, poverty, disease, for example) I have not experienced head-on, knock wood.

At the same time, coming from one of the richest countries in the world makes me see the other side of suffering, the one in which you seem to have everything but you're stuck in a spiritual slum. Which, of course, is because of Truth #2: desire.

Desire is like a giant Hoover that just sucks you in and pulls you along in a neverending hose, where everything keeps slipping just beyond your grasp, and clogged in the hose along with you on this journey is a whole pile of lint that keeps blocking your vision. Because that's what all the iPods, the nice cars, the perfect well-adjusted marriage/child, the weekends in Hawaii, the flatscreen HD tv, that dream job are - try to grab onto any of these too tightly and watch their empty promises crumble like lint before your eyes.

I've worked with some mighty rich people in my day, and, let me tell you, some of them were walking examples of unquenchable desire and its not-so-desirable effects. Indeed, I am a walking example of unquenchable desire and its not-so-desirable effects. My recent purchase of a shirt that I knew didn't look quite right but I really wanted it because it was pretty and I had hoped it would reform itself to fit my body correctly sometime between shelling out the cash for it and taking it home, and now it hangs, unworn, so prettily in my closet, is but one example.

Truth #3, well, in its simplest form it's really just what it is: 1+2=3. Or, actually, it's more like 1-2=3 or Life-Desire=End of Suffering. I get that, I really do. There are moments here and there where the breaking of my attachment to something has flung open one of the many prison doors I've constructed within my brain. But then, of course, I go and find something else to glom onto, and it's back to Truth #1.

Which brings us to Truth #4, the mother of all truths: the path. On the surface it seems you're handed a golden ticket to perfect happiness. OK! So I just have to follow these eight little steps and I'm on my way! Problem is, and no one tells you this (ok, many tell you this but I choose not to listen), this path, these steps, are, to put it mildly, FRICKEN HARD.

When I look at the Eightfold Path, this noble path, and think about how I can apply it in life, I sometimes get overwhelmed at the task ahead of me, and pack it in and go surf the web in mindless bliss for an hour. And then I get annoyed at the fact that this "breaking free of attachments" thing is decidedly not the same as "giving up", which seems so much easier sometimes.

Buddhism is irritating in that it's not a slacker religion. You have to sit up, take notice, live consciously and work your ass off to find the way to snuff out the suffering. It's not about retreating into a cave and cutting yourself off. It forces you to try to see the truth in the world around you, and more vexingly, deep within yourself.

And then it goes and tells you that, indeed, there is no self.

Darn, just when I was starting to get to know my good friend Self, I've gotta kick her out the door!

The Buddha is often depicted having a serene smile. Sometimes, though, if you look at it from a certain angle it's more like a knowing smirk. "I've found the way for you," he seems to say, "and it's hard.

"Deal with it."

Big fat deal

2008-05-15T17:53:00.003+07:00

Take that, Paris Hilton.

The most expensive painting ever sold by an artist who is not dead - "Benefits Supervisor Sleeping" by Lucian Freud.

It's an unforgettable painting for sure, but I wonder what makes it worth $35 million dollars? Is it the "grandson of the founder of psychoanalysis" cachet perhaps? Or something else?

A secret of the art world I will never know...

The subject, Sue Tilley, was paid $40 for her sitting. Hopefully, Freud will throw a little bit more her way now.

Help Burma

2008-05-11T20:48:00.006+07:00

Been a busy week, and my Internet's been down for two days. And, really, with the massive tragedy happening next door in Burma (or Myanmar) one is disinclined to post the usual, trite "isn't life so silly" reflections.

Phuket is well poised to help the victims of Cyclone Nargis, having experienced the tsunami less than four years ago, but since the despots running Burma are so ignorant and corrupt, it seems impossible to get into the country to bring aid and assist victims, as even the major aid agencies like the UN and Red Cross are having a difficult time of it.

Phuket is a mere four-hour drive to the nearest border point with Burma, yet with all its collective wealth and rescue/victim ID/rebuilding experience the average citizen is seemingly powerless to help.

It would be so easy to organize a convoy of food, mosquito nets, drinking water, medicine, etc, and drive it up to Ranong and drop it in the hundreds of boats at the pier that make the daily crossing over to Victoria Point in Burma; but the knowledge that these supplies will very likely be looted by the generals or other corrupt officials long before it reaches the people in desperate need of it makes one hesitate.

Isn't life so silly.

Internationally, the best way I can think of to help is by supporting the few aid agencies that are making their way in there, so here are a few websites where you can find info on their efforts in Burma, and how to donate:

UN World Food Programme

Red Cross

World Vision (International)

World Vision (Thailand)

In Phuket, there are a few aid efforts being mobilized. Thai AirAsia has set up stations in the Phuket International Airport for people to donate goods such as tents, clothing, mosquito nets, which it will send on to Bangkok and then to Yangon, where it is still flying daily.

The airline's contact info: Tel: 02-5159888, Fax: 02-3159806 or Email: helpmyanmar@airasia.com

The Royal Thai Navy based in Phuket has also started accepting donations, and will ship goods to Burma within the next few days. The Phuket Gazette should have some more info on this on its website soon.

Update May 13: Gazette story on Thai navy aid here.

Update May 18: Earthquake in China. Though the Chinese government seems much better equipped and willing to help its citizens, it looks like the same organizations listed above are requesting help with relief efforts there. Please give to help these poor souls in Asia!

Temple tales

2008-05-05T21:00:00.008+07:00

My hubby and I had a weekend getaway in Bangkok. I would have been happy to spend 90% of the time sleeping in the hotel (no kids! endless naps!), with the remaining 10% pigging out on awesome, cheap food (no kids to feed!), but, well, since it was our anniversary and all I thought it might be nice to actually get out and see something with my man.

We took the ferryboat that runs the Chao Phraya River, stopped at Tha Tien (pier) and strolled into one of Thailand's most famous temples -- Wat Pho. I love this place, with all its yoga-wellness-sacred-psychedelic vibes and, well, a big, BIG Buddha. Reclining Buddha. A humongous, chilled-out, beautiful golden Buddha.

The serenity of the giant statue is, however, not matched by its visitors, as it's a big elbow-fest with everyone clamouring to get that iconic picture of his enlightened head resting on his hand, and the sublime feet bottoms in mother-of-pearl.

So here's the picture that I and 10,000 other people snapped that day:

And the top of his feet (looks like the Buddha had a good pedicurist).

The statue is an amazing work of art, which overshadows the equally amazing wall murals that cover most every other surface inside the temple hall. I have a shaky grasp of the meaning behind the stories told in pictures spread across meters upon meters of wall. Whatever the meaning, however, the pictures are incredibly whimsical, lively and magnificently executed.

A sampling:

Out of all the people, creatures and deities that caught my eye, this is by far and away my favourite.....
Naughty boy!

Flying babies aacck!

2008-05-01T19:36:00.002+07:00

Ummm, call me culturally insensitive but THIS is f-ing horrible!

(you have to watch an ad first, fyi)

I note there don't seem to be any mothers taking part in the action.

I don't think that's just a coincidence.

Cringe-o-meter's cranked pretty high after seeing that.

Comfort?

2008-04-30T20:52:00.001+07:00

Or a choke hold?

Difficult to say which...

He, We

2008-04-28T22:14:00.008+07:00

Friday marks the fifth anniversary of this impossibly beautiful thing called marriage that my husband and I embarked upon after nearly 8 years together.

It wasn't what you'd call romantic. After having spent weeks assembling the paperwork, we drove down to the local district office, where, in front of an unsmiling Thai bureaucrat, we glanced at each other and said, "Yeah, let's go" before signing the paper that made our union legal. I was wearing khaki trousers and a t-shirt. He was in shorts and flip-flops. We forgot to take a picture.

It wasn't romantic, but it was, how you'd say, "us". Clean and simple. Like his favorite kind of architecture. Like my favorite style of writing.

I fancied him at first sight; his look of quiet confidence and dazzling smile, the slightly dangerous rip in his jeans. He wanted nothing to do with me.

If it weren't for my super-outgoing friend Leah, we might have never came to be. She, upon hearing that I was interested, dragged me along to ambush him in the common area of the dorm we were staying at. I'll never forget the look of pure fear that flashed in his eyes as we invaded his quiet little table, plonked down and started chatting about who knows what.

I guess it worked because I believe it was at that point that a spark came to life.

Yep, it's true. I scared him into liking me.

Now with jobs, two kids, a home, two cats and a suicidal dog to look after, those endless days exploring the sights of Bangkok and beyond are long gone. Conversations get tangled up with business/money, bickering over the kids and the all little things that we drive each other mad with.

What I've learned is that loving is easy but living with the person you love, day in and day out, can be damn hard. Damn. Hard.

What I've learned is that my 13-year social experiment, the one in which I moan and beg and nag and rag, has failed to move him towards my desired direction one iota. That you can set up an entire key-loss-prevention infrastructure, for example (hooks at the door! big keychains! post-it notes! reminders reminders reminders!), and still, on a weekly basis, go through the Where-did-you-put-the-damn-car-keys-this-time song and dance routine as we struggle to get out the door.

We have a great dynamic, he and I. He's the Smiling Buddha rock. I'm the flailing stress-freak from hell.

He drives me nuts.

I love him so much.

"So, um, did you remember the keys, honey?" "Honey?"

I'm ranked. Or some might say just plain rank.

2008-04-27T14:19:00.003+07:00

Colleague and blogger extraordinaire The Lost Boy has worked hard to compile a blog rank for Thailand based blogs. And it turns out that mine is up in the top 100.

I'm...(drumroll please)...69!

Some people I know (yes you!) would find this number quite amusing. Because most people I know have their minds permanently stuck in the gutter. That's why we're friends, you see.

Anyway, kudos to M for his efforts in recognizing and highlighting the best of Thaiblogging. If you're looking for a peek into the TOTAL WEIRDNESS OF LIFE here in the Land of Smiles, this list is a good place to start.

And, to all you linkers out there (you know who you are) please note that I've packed up and moved over to a new URL: http://serratededges.com (used to be saneroad.blogspot.com)

Please be kind and update your links and maybe someday my ranking will break the 3 million mark! (Not that I care, of course, because you know I'm above all that nonsense...oh, who am I kidding?...)

Anyway, here's the list: Thailand's Top 100.

Enjoy!

Update (Apr 28).

Right, so I didn't realize this before but the ranking is a dynamic thing that changes as people vote for their favorites, and I've moved down. So I'm the Hillary Clinton of Thai blogging. Ha ha!