Observatorium

Tiny Hands

2008-04-23T13:25:00.002-06:00

I just discovered this web show called Tiny Hands from Comedy Central's Motherload. It's about a dude with plastic baby doll hands. I think that should be enough to entice you to watch it.

Epiphany

2008-04-07T09:03:00.003-06:00

I've been grappling with depression, rejection, jealousy, anger, and confusion recently over the way my ex-boyfriend treated me at the end. I just realized, regardless of whether karma exists or not, and whether he is ever treated as horribly as he treated me, he will always be a bad person and his cowardly and selfish actions will be a part of him for the rest of his life. That's karma in itself. At least I can live with a clean conscience and know that I am a good person. Shizam!

I don't have to wait for karma to take care of it for me. It already has.

Genesis

2008-02-15T10:14:00.003-06:00

I'm listening to "Invisible Touch" by Genesis and it reminds me of the summer I went to a day sports camp. I believe it was the summer after my 5th grade year, so I would have been about 10. We played tether ball a lot during down time - I wasn't half bad. Once after a swimming lesson, I couldn't find my underwear in the locker room so I had to go commando. I ended up playing a rousing game of tether ball and was paranoid people could tell I was sans undies. It's weird the random memories that come up just from listening to one song.

Its been a while

2008-02-14T11:05:00.004-06:00

I've decided to start blogging again occasionally, I guess because I kind of miss it. And now there is absolutely no pressure because no one will even know. I was reading through some of my older posts and they crack me up, if I do say so myself.

Happy Valentine's Day! I am recently single after close to 4 years. It's been a little rocky for me, especially given that my ex-boyfriend officially ended the relationship through an email. Yes, it's true. I'm still reeling from that sting - don't know if it will ever go away. Everyone says, "time heals all wounds." I suppose that's true, but I would rather it go away immediately. I wish I could just snap my fingers and erase the hurt and pain residing in every cell of my body. Maybe if I follow the rules of "The Secret" or whatever and just ask the universe to make my pain go away it will happen.

Life is hard.

2 months of silence

2007-07-27T10:19:00.000-06:00

I apologize to my hundreds of readers out there. I know you've been salivating for my return to the blogosphere. Life is not worth living without my witty prose, I know. Alas, I have returned. I have missed my little obscure blog.

At this very moment my stomach is eating itself, the acid gurgling in my empty belly. It wants something to digest and share with my bloodstream. I wonder how long it takes to starve to death? I assume many months. After awhile the hunger pains would subside. Hunger pains suck. They make you fat.

I discovered Stumble Upon a few days ago. It's an interesting application. I found lots of interesting sites. That internet is something else!

Racialicious

2007-05-30T14:42:00.000-06:00

I know all I've been posting are few and far between links to other things out there. It's all I got right now. I found an interesting blog by accident today called Racialicious, which I found when I googled "ethnicity of Fergie". Inquiring minds wanted to know, what is her "racial ethnicity"? Apparently, Mexican and Native American. I thought she was half African-American or something, as her music and lyrics might suggest, if one were to lump all particular styles of music into one big, stereotypical category.

In other news, I can't stop eating Starbursts.

Funny pop culture snark

2007-05-17T13:31:00.000-06:00

I love The Tolerability Index on the Onion. It funny. So is The Hater blog.

Schlong's

2007-05-15T13:57:00.000-06:00

I can't believe I've left a picture of watermelon sized fake breasts at the top of my blog for weeks. I don't understand why anyone would mutilate their body like that. What kind of men really lust after Frankenstein boobs? I guess the majority of men do or these women in the titty bar/porn industry wouldn't have water balloons inserted into their body.

On the intro to the local news last night they were talking about a new Italian restaurant coming to Cordova where the waitresses will be topless! That's disturbing on so many levels. The last thing this city needs is another "gentleman's club", but having naked women serving consumables to these "gentlemen" is taking the whole concept a little too far. Though several years ago, when I was just a wee lass, some friends and I came up with a concept for a restaurant with naked men servers. The only dish I can remember now is the blue-ball special (reminiscent of the blue plate special). We laughed over that for days. But really, there are so many women-demeaning restaurant/bars in existence today (Hooters, Coyote Ugly, Titty bars, etc.) it would be only fair to have the same type of restaurant directed at the male anatomy. Where is Schlong's, where women can go and ogle young scantily clad men while they eat a tasty treat?

Yowsa

2007-04-24T14:54:00.000-06:00

I found this pic on Perez Hilton. This depicts everything that is wrong with the world today.

Random tidbits

2007-04-19T14:01:00.000-06:00

I'm stuffing gobstoppers in my mouth because I bought a huge box of them at Walgreens. Walgreens has a huge section of boxed candy like you get at the movies that are nice and cheap. I can't resist the allure.

I was looking at a T-shirt website and found one that said "The baby ate my dingo" or something to that effect, so I decided to do a search on the origination of the phrase "a dingo ate your baby". The answer is found here. I had no idea there was an actual case involving a baby-eating dingo. I just thought it was from Seinfeld when Elaine told some random woman at a party that a dingo ate her husband because she felt like fucking around. Sounds like something I would do.

Duke Lacrosse/Malik Shabazz

2007-04-13T12:04:00.000-06:00

I caught this interview on Fox News last night while drinking at the Bayou. It's with Malik Shabazz, leader of the New Black Panther party, on his reaction to the charges against the Duke Lacrosse team being dropped. He calls her a political prostitute and she says "you want to call me a whore on national television?". I think both of them are completely out of line, but the video captures both sides of the issue very well. What really happened that night? Are they completely innocent of any wrong doing? I have my doubts. Was it just a complete smear campaign with no basis in truth? That could also be the case. I don't know.

I may be biased because I'm a woman and I have a deep loathing of spoiled frat boys. Misogyny combined with entitlement is the cause of rape. We know these boys are wealthy. We know these boys hired two strippers for their little party. Of course, that doesn't mean they're guilty, and I'm not familiar with the details of the case. I'm just saying, it isn't the craziest idea to think some kind of sexual assault occurred. And it isn't the craziest idea to think the charges were dropped due to their rich and powerful parents hiring the best defense lawyer money can buy. I am not defending this Malik character, but his claims aren't off the wall. Guilty people get off all the time. Innocent people are charged all the time. Justice isn't always served.

The boys they want to sex me

2007-04-09T15:06:00.000-06:00

Happy Monday!

Ridge?

2007-03-28T14:28:00.000-06:00

Forrester? Is that you? I saw this on Go Fug Yourself and thought, now Ridge, what have you gone and gotten yourself into? He looks equal parts gay and homeless. Certainly not a hunky soap star.

Thoughts on olives

2007-03-27T12:25:00.000-06:00

I had the urge to throw a green olive at someone or something on the patio of Holiday Ham today. Everyone at all the other tables looked so bored, I thought a stray olive would really liven the place up. Life is more fun when random weird stuff happens.

Iraq blog

2007-03-26T13:58:00.000-06:00

I discovered an interesting blog on Iraq from NPR's Morning Edition. It's done by an award-winning photojournalist for Getty Images. It looks like a good source of behind the scenes information on life in Iraq. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to witness all the violence and destruction innocent Iraqi citizens must endure. You'd have to have an extremely thick skin coupled with extreme passion for your work.

This woman is bat shit crazy

2007-03-22T15:31:00.001-06:00

Street Interview Gone Bad

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Facial at the beauty school

2007-03-21T14:36:00.000-06:00

I've been meaning to blog about my trip to Plaza Beauty School last Friday where I got a $15, hour long facial. I went with 2 other people and since they only have 2 facial rooms they set us up in the classroom with a hodgepodge of chairs, leg rests and tables. There were posters on the wall outlining the chemical make-up of hair dye. After they turned off the lights and cranked up the New Age music it was quite pleasant, even though a few times other students came barging in to get things. I think some of them were a little huffy that the customers took over their territory. I want to go back to Plaza, not necessarily to get another facial, but to take pictures of all the mannequin heads and old ladies in curlers under the dryers. There are mannequin heads everywhere with hairdos in various stages of completion. I don't know why I like mannequins so much; they're a pretty cheesy photo subject. I guess I find them surreal.

Tracy Morgan hijacks local news show

2007-03-14T11:23:00.000-06:00

This is really funny, especially if you're a Tracy Morgan fan.

Black Snake Moan

2007-03-12T13:09:00.000-06:00

So Black Snake Moan was even more ridiculous than I expected, and not because the plot involved a skank on a chain. What I found the most ridiculous about the movie was the depiction of Rae's (Christina Ricci) psychological issues. We find out that she was sexually abused by her mother's boyfriend, which implies this is at the root of her wild and spontaneous sexual urges. But then we're also supposed to believe that she has weird spells that overtake her body and are the manifestation of her nymphomania, or "the sickness". Why the overkill? So, is she a nympho or is she just reacting to what happened to her in the past? Does excessive sex because of sexual abuse equal nymphomania? I suppose it isn't meant to be taken literally, but I like my movies to a least make some sort of sense overall. It was all so muddled that there ended up being no meaning at all.

And then there's Robbie (JT) who has debilitating panic attacks, yet he wants to join the military. He can't even drive on the interstate without losing his shit, but he thinks he's going to go off to Iraq? And they end up getting married? WTF?

The entire movie is mind-boggling.

Nymphomania rocks!

2007-03-09T14:10:00.000-06:00

I have so many projects I want to work on, I can't get anything done. I need some Ritalin. Time management has never been my strong suit. Perhaps I should go pick up a self help book on the topic. Then it could gather dust on my bedside table with all the other books and magazines I can't find the time to read.

So I think I'll see Black Snake Moan this weekend. I have a feeling I won't like it. I wasn't a big fan of Hustle and Flow. I thought it was, in a word, cheesy. I have a sneaking suspicion that my problem with Moan will be the misogynistic undertones, as well as the fact that Christina Ricci looks like Skeletor's slutty little sister. Oh and also Justin Timberlake is in it. I have developed a hatred for the "next Michael Jackson" because my roommate waited on him one time and he was a complete asshole and didn't even tip 10%. I don't care how talented the little prick is, if you stiff my roommate I'm gonna bad mouth you for all eternity. I admit that is a bit irrational, but I used to wait tables and once a member of that club, you're a member for life. We have our own gangsta signs.

Girl chokes and dies on own snot

2007-03-01T11:59:00.000-06:00

Film at 11. That headline almost came true this morning when I was in the shower. I thought for sure I would be discovered soapy, naked and dead in my tub by my roommate.

I am completely buggered out at work on sinus medication that has interacted negatively with my hangover. The simplest of tasks have become obstacles of life and death proportions. Typing this right now is about to give me a nervous breakdown. A phone call is enough to make me scream in terror.

In other news, my friend has a great food blog all 3 of my readers should check out called Edible Therapy. Isn't that a great name?

I'm off this weekend to be in my sister's wedding in Birmingham, AL. For some reason I'm kind of nervous. I hope my dysfunctional family will pull though this with grace.

Hawt

2007-02-21T15:42:00.000-06:00

I hate hot people who act like they're hot. It's so unbecoming. If you're good looking you don't have to harp on it. It drives me crazy! I just want to punch them in their hot little face.

Is this because I'm not hot? Who's with me? Don't you just want to tell some conceited male model type, "You know, you're really not that attractive." Just to see his jaw drop in disbelief? And then shake your fat belly at him and say, "You want some of this?"

It's been a long day.

Valentimes

2007-02-15T15:39:00.000-06:00

There's nothing quite like getting in a fight with your significant other on Valentine's Day. Before all the badness happened, we had a thoroughly satisfying meal at Sauces. Aside from the uptight couple next to us who were kind of rude to the waitress, I enjoyed the atmosphere. The chopped salad is my new favorite salad in this town, pushing the seared tuna salad from Bosco's to the number 2 position. I can't wait to go back. Also, they have an extensive mojitos menu - and it only takes 1 to produce a pleasant little buzz.

I posted these 2 videos on my myspace blog, but I thought I'd post them here. You have to watch these. You won't be sorry.

I'm Hot Blooded

2007-02-08T14:05:00.000-06:00

I've been fantasizing lately about becoming a lounge singer. I don't think I really have the pipes for it, but damn it, I love to sing and perform. When I'm working out on the elliptical machine and listening to my workout mix I start daydreaming about performing the songs, really belting them out, as well as shaking my ass. What about a Foreigner tribute band called Hot Blooded? I know, you don't think there's a demand for a Foreigner cover band. But you haven't seen my interpretation of the classic hits "Urgent", "I Want to Know What Love Is", "Head Games", and of course "Hot Blooded". I think it could work as long as the performances are really over the top, and I can deliver that in spades. I'm a fucking nut case.

Super Bowl

2007-02-05T16:10:00.000-06:00

This is my favorite commercial from the Super Bowl. There wasn't very much to choose from. I had a good hearty laugh from this one.