Al Romas :: A Comic's Road Diary

Tweeting and FaceBooking

2009-05-07T13:00:00.004-04:00

As you have noticed, my Blogging has dropped off to basically a lot of nothing. I find myself on Facebook and Twitter often and since they both offer updates, it doesn't leave much to blog about. If you aren't on either, check them out. I'm found at Twitter.com/alromas and Facebook.com/alromas. See you there....

-AR

Mr. Warmth Live!

2009-04-23T13:44:00.002-04:00

Tonight, I am going to see Don Rickles perform live. It's something I have wanted to do since I thought his name was Don Rinkles. Ruth Eckerd Hall in Clearwater, Fla is the venue. Regis Philbin is the opening act. I have no idea what it is Regis does. I mean, yes, I have seen him on the tube chatting in the am, but on the stage? I guess he fancies himself an 'entertainer.' A little singing, a few jokes and a few old stories. Fantastic. Bring out Don. Can't wait for him to walk up to some dude and ask, "Is this the wife?" then do the disgusted face take. Rickles is the only comic I would pay to see. Before him, I plucked down cash money to see George Carlin and am glad I did. You better see the greats while you can. They'll be gone and you will kick yourself for missing out. If you haven't seen "Mr. Warmth, The Don Rickles Project" do yourself a favor and buy it today. It shows him backstage before a Vegas show. He is a little old man in a robe just waiting for showtime. Then he puts on his tux and for the next hour, he is the funniest fucker to ever walk the floor boards. 82 years old and still grabbing the mike. This is going to be sweet!

Headlined a benefit show last night at the Tampa Improv. The proceeds went to Cancer research. Close to a full house and a raffle with some pretty cool prizes, so i believe they raised a good amount of dough. I was asked to do it again next year and I agreed. Got to give back, my friends.

Okay, enough of this horseshit. I've got things to do before I head out to see Rickles.

-AR

Who Is Cuter Than My Niece?

2009-04-13T10:12:00.001-04:00

If you answered 'No One' you are correct!

No Hope Just Pocket Change

2009-03-07T12:52:00.003-05:00

How´s everyone doing now that Barry is in office? Feeling good? The guy did promise change and with Citigroup stock under $1.00 yesterday, he came through. You can own a Citigroup stock for change. Nice to see the markets feeling good about Barry and his boys. Just keep writing big checks, Barry. That will solve the problem. I can´t wait till that moment when the country wakes out of their collective Marcia Brady like puppy love and says, ¨What the fuck is this? Whos is this guy? Get him the fuck out!¨ As stated on this very blog many months ago, this cat is Jimmy Carter. 2012 can´t get here fast enough.

I am currently sitting in my favorite net cafe in Mexico pounding the keys for the total price of $1.00. $1.00 US whether I sit here for 5 mins or 5 hours. Beat that! I will then head off to lunch and barely crack a ten spot. Gotta love it.

Has baseball begun? My interest this season can be measured in micro give a shits. I´ll probably kick into action in the summer but as of yet, it hasn´t shown up on my radar.

I saw ¨Slumdog Millionaire¨ the other day. Good flick but best picture? Hmmm. I almost bailed as the first half hour was mind numbing slow. Kept thinking it has to get better. And it did but that´s a weak year if it´s the best pic. I liked ¨W.¨better and even ¨Flash of Genius¨ which wasn´t nominated and barely made a dent in the box office. Good flick about the guy who invented the intermittent wiper. A story that dared to be told!

Off to lunch...

-AR

Some Upcoming Dates

2009-02-24T09:24:00.004-05:00

Since my Calendar Page is in Flux, I thought I'd add some upcoming dates to this page:

I will be performing stand up comedy Wed 2/25- Sat 2/28 at Visani's in Port Charlotte. 2 shows on Fri and Sat. In March I head to the Comedy Stop at the Tropicana in Atlantic City. 3/23-29. I will be performing in a benefit for Cure on Wheels at the Tampa Improv on 4/22. Tickets are available on their site or at the Tampa Improv. On 5/4, a rare Monday night gig, I will be sharing the stage with Tom Rhodes at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Tampa. In between those gigs, I will be telling jokes on Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines.

Consider yourself updated.

1-21-2009

2009-01-21T13:38:00.002-05:00

Where have I been? Seems I haven't posted in awhile. Once again, I received a handful of nasty email asking why I haven't posted. Honestly, I have no idea. I haven't even thought of posting. How about that? I was kind of hoping Barry Obama would take care of that for me. He seems to be talking care of everything else. Never in my life have I seen such a display as I did yesterday flipping around the channels, while watching him take the oath of office. The media were cumming on themselves as he and Michelle waved and pointed at the faithful. Why is it politicians always point at certain people? They are far away and looking into a crowd of thousands, or millions like yesterday, yet they always seem to be able to spot that one special friend and give him/her a thumbs up. It would be impossible for me to have had less interest than bundling up in my winter finery and standing in frigid temps so I could 'say I was part of history.' Hell, I may just say it anyway. Who's going to dispute it? You? I think not. God speed to Barry, Rahm, Leon and the rest. No where to go but down.

I head to Las Vegas next week. Super Bowl comes to Tampa. I head to Vegas. Putting the ranch on Arizona with 7 big points. I'll be at my familiar haunt, the Comedy Stop at the Tropicana. 14 shows. 8:00PM and 10:30PM nightly.

Comedy Hijinks Circa 1990

2008-12-30T11:49:00.001-05:00

Fun with wacky glasses and a pizza guy in 1990.

Hard At Work On The Grandeur of the Seas

2008-12-29T11:22:00.000-05:00

12/26

2008-12-26T14:55:00.002-05:00

Yeah, I know. No blogs for awhile. Well, I've been busy. Yes, I work at night for an hour but that is not the point. Got caught up in the whole Holiday thing and the next thing I knew, it was the day after Xmas. I turned on the computer this am to see that the guy who portrayed, 'Johnny Cakes' on the Soprano's, killed himself. Seems no one had seen him since 12/18 and when cops went to his apartment, he was dead. Poor bastard. I guess it must have sucked to walk into an audition and the first thing from the casting agents' mouth is "Johnny Cakes!" Not an easy role to live down. You were so convincing as the gay lover of a mob guy that we can't exactly slide you into the role of Reece Witherspoon's lover. That's the rub. Other than Jennifer Aniston, seen any of the 'Friends' around lately? The phone ain't exactly ringing off the hook at the LeBlanc estate. Ya dig? There was a great little movie, 'Hollywoodland' that covered this. Story of George Reeves, aka Superman. He was a serious, trained actor who got typecast and couldn't find work again. He took the route of one, John Costelloe, aka Johnny Cakes.

I'm driving 70 miles south tonight to take the mike at McCurdy's Comedy Theater. This is what's known as a good gig. Local, by comedy standards. Good pay, good venue and most importantly, sleeping in my own bed. 2 shows tonite, 2 on Saturday, one on Sunday.

If I don't post before NYE, have a great and safe New Year!

-AR

Giants Super Bowl XXV -- LT's Sports Bar

2008-12-06T16:16:00.001-05:00

Live from the long gone LT's Sports Bar in NJ
G Men v. Bills 1991

Happy Christmas (War Is Over)

2008-12-06T16:02:00.001-05:00

Rare Rutles Vid From '62

2008-12-06T15:55:00.001-05:00

Goose Step Mama live at the Cavern Club 1962!

The Dirty Mac Live

2008-12-06T15:48:00.001-05:00

John Lennon-How do you Sleep?

2008-12-06T15:43:00.001-05:00

2008-12-04T16:59:00.001-05:00

2008-12-04T16:54:00.000-05:00

12/4/08

2008-12-04T16:38:00.002-05:00

Thursday afternoon in Atlantic City. It's 4:38PM and already dark on a cold bleak day. Crowds have been sparse so far. The folks that have shown have seen some fun shows as I am working with two funny pro's. Mike Donovan from Boston and Christine Stedman from St. Louis. 6 shows to go then it's out of here, early Monday morning.

I've been bombarded with Xmas music while here. Bing Crosby lives on. He is the voice of Xmas, if you ask me. My Dad had the Bing Crosby Christmas 8-Track and played the shit out of it. Nothing like hearing Der Bingle croon abut Xmas in Kilkany (with all of the folks at home). Haven't heard 'Happy Xmas (War is Over) yet so it's not really the season, for me. Need to hear that tune adn see Santa on a Norelco electric razor then I will know it's 'that time of year.' Women have that 'time of the month.' Xmas has 'that time of the year.' Where is Men's 'time of anything?' Maybe Sunday afternoons. Speaking of Football, there is a cool video posted on my Facebook page. For those not grooving on the Facebook, I will try to get it on this site but in the meantime, it can be seen on my page. It's a clip filmed in LT's Sports Bar in NJ, Jan 1991. NY Giants v. Buffalo Bills. It captures Norwoods' kick going wide right and the bedlam that followed. I am sporting a mullet and some weird glasses. I always have been the height of fashion and this vid from 1991 proves it.

I've bought the NY papers since I arrived here on Monday and Plaxico Burress has been on either the cover or the back page every fuckin' day. The guy is a Jackass who put a hole in his thigh. The Giants suspended him. Not sure what I am missing and why this needs to be daily coverage. They've managed to get to 11-1 without him and will continue to be fine. Next.

Bill Shatner has a weird new show on BIO where he interviews one guest for a half hour. He sits uncomfortably close to them and grills them about personal shit. I think I would snap and ask him how his wife happened to end up face down in the pool. One of the many reasons why I will not garner an invite.

'So this is Christmas, and what have you done?
Another year over, a new one just begun.' -JL

-AR

Who Ya Gonna Call? Door Busters!

2008-11-28T14:39:00.003-05:00

Thought I would send a dispatch from Wal-Mart on the Blackest of Fridays. Got my trytophan loaded self out of the rack in the middle of the night to get on line with the great unwashed. There were deals to be had and dammit, I was going to have at it! Stood for 5 hours behind what I thought were 2 women, only to find out it was one broad with a great big ass. I wanted to scoop up some of those bargain laptops I've been hearing so much about. $300 for a computer? Count me in! I'll take 9 of them! Imagine the look when friends and family unwrap a brand new Wal-Mart computer!
Saw an add for a Mac being sold at the Apple store for $1800!! I can get 6 Wal-Mart machines for that price. Hello? The rumor circulating on line is that an employee was killed as we stormed the doors. Sorry fella, but we aren't called 'Door Busters' for nothing! Get your dumb ass out of the way, we've got shit to buy! Oh, looks like the media is here. I want to come up with a quip or two for the 6:00PM broadcast. Maybe I can plug my date in Atlantic City while I am on camera. "I came for the bargains and don't forget to come to the Comedy Stop at the Trop Monday-Sunday." Hope I can get all that in, here she comes. Gotta run. I'll be heading to Target after this as I hear designer shirts are going for $4.95. I shit you not!

What Happened to, Al Franken?

2008-11-25T14:49:00.004-05:00

I'm watching Al Franken on MSNBC and I am sad. Sad I tell you. Al Franken was a funny guy. Really funny. He'd go on Weekend Update and repeat his name, Al Franken over and over. Loved it. Now he is a bore. A tiresome bore. Here's some vintage Franken from 1079:

Jane Curtin: And now, to talk about income taxes, is Weekend Update Social Sciences Editor, Al Franken. Al?

Al Franken: Why, thanks, Jane! Well, now that it’s tax time, I know a lot of you are thinking, what can you do to help me, Al Franken, do my taxes. Well, first, let me say that 1979 was a pretty good year for me, even though it wasn’t part of the Al Franken Decade. As a major writer/personality for a major TV show, I did.. pretty well. I’m not gonna tell you exactly what I made, because it might make a few of you a little less likely to be concerned about me, Al Franken. But let’s just say that.. you’d be pretty impressed.

Now, one nice thing I learned about making a lot of money, is that on the percentage basis, the more money you make, the less taxes you really end up paying. For example, last year, George Bush paid $3,000 in taxes on almost $100,000 income. Not bad, George! You see, the tax codes are written by guys who have a lot of money - just like me, Al Franken.

Okay, now I’m gonna tell you three of the ways that I legally avoid paying my fair share of taxes. I’m not going to tell you everything - after all, this is something I pay my big-time accountant for, whose services are, by the way, tax-deductible.

Now, first - the Al Franken Corporation. You see, I make only $300 a week, paid to me by Al Franken the Corporation. Now, the rest of the money taken in by the Al Franken Corporation goes to paying many of the expenses of its employee - me, Al Franken. Now, of course, the more business expenses that Al Franken, me and Al Franken, the corporation can document, the less taxes I have to pay.

Which brings me to how you can help me, Al Franken with my taxes. I would like each and every one of you to send me your spare receipts. I mean, any receipts. you see, since I’m a comedian, almost anything I spend can be justified as a business expense. For example, this sports jacket. [ holds out sleeve ] See, I’m wearing it on TV, so it’s a business expense. [ pulls leg over desk ] You see.. these pants here. Now deductible, because they’re on TV. [ extends wrist ] Okay, this watch. It’s an expensive watch, it’s now deductible. Okay.. [ picks up tape deck and puts in on desk ] This portable tape deck. It’s got everything.. now deductible. Now, this Christmas, I went to Hawaii.. [ holds up picture ] ..and here’s a picture of me in Hawaii, taken by some friends I met there. And, I don’t know if you can see this - can we pull in a little closer there? [ camera zooms in on picture ] Now, obviously, I couldn’t have taken this picture unless I’d actually gone to Hawaii, and stayed in a hotel there. And I think that you, the audience, you like this picture, am I right? [ audence applauds wildly ] Okay, now the Hawaii trip is deductible.

Send me any receipt you can’t use! Books! Stationary! Medicine! My accountant can something with it, believe me! I’d like to talk especially to you poor people, who were unemployed in 1979, and went below the poverty level in ghettos of America. Now, you don’t pay taxes, you don’t need your receipts, so send them to me, please, everybody! Send in your receipts to me, Al Franken, New York, New York. I’d appreciate it. Thank you.

Jane Curtin: Thank you, Al, I hope everything works out.

Now this same guy is holding a recount in Minnesota and acting like the most paranoid man on the planet. Old Stuart Smalley has become a bloated liberal without a sense of humor. It's a damn shame to see what's become of; Al Franken.

Mexicali Blues

2008-11-22T14:23:00.002-05:00

Has it really been 14 days since my last post? Shit. I've become one of those guys I hate. I have a few blogs I like to read and when I go to them and it is not updated I become annoyed. Briefly. But annoyed.

Signed onto the net this am to see a story about a kid who commited suicide over the web. I didn't even bother to read the tale. This is how blase I have become. A guy commits suicide live for everyone to see and I can't be bothered to read the details.

I am currently in a net cafe in beautiful Cozumel, Mexico. Probably the 300th or so time I've been to this particular port. Still love it. Beer is a buck, food is awesome and beer is a buck.

This is Day 13 of a 14 day cruise for me. I'm ready to get home and begin the Thanksgiving Holiday, which means I am ready to get home and eat and drink like a drunken Viking.

Been watching a lot of 'Family Guy' lately. Saw one last night that killed me. Peter was trying to be a better Father and referenced the Father from 'Lost In Space.' They go to a 'Lost In Space' clip and the Father tells his son Will to 'Go off into unchartered territory with the robot. And take this mincing boy hungry pedophile with you.' Not sure it that came across funny or not but it destroyed me. As a kid I had no idea what a pedophile was but was sure there was something not Kosher about Dr. Smith. 'Family Guy' fucking nails it.

I'm off for cheap beer and some grub. I'll try to post something sooner than later. Thanks as always to the few annonymous people who send me nasty email about not posting enough.

-AR

Gifts

2008-11-08T12:30:00.002-05:00

Just read something on AOL about 'Gifts Under $5.00!' Got news for you. If anyone was thinking of getting me a gift for under $5, keep your $5. Please. That goes for any gifts. I am a grown man. I don't need gifts. If there is something I want, I will buy it. If I can't afford it, I am damn certain I am not getting it as a gift. I realize the economy is going through a difficult patch here but I ain't buying anyone a gift under $5. If I feel the need to purchase a gift for you, it will be well over the $5 price tag. Ya dig?

I was in a store this am that is fully decorated for Xmas. Thanksgiving is what, more than 2 weeks away? Really? Xmas on 11/9? Better stock up on those under $5 gifts.

I just did a late booking at the Comedy Stop in Atlantic City. Going to be back on the boardwalk 12/1-8. Ah, the boardwalk in early December. Hookers in parkas, homeless buried under cardboard,junkies scurrying from pawn shop to liquor store, a perfect tableau.

-AR

The Horror

2008-11-05T16:08:00.003-05:00

What can you do? Barry is in and Mac is out. Overcoming 8 years of the worst President in memory is a tough hill to climb, even for John McCain. Bushy fucked Mac twice. Back in 2000 with his boy Rove and then in 2008 with his failed policies. Now America has Barry Obama to make things right. Honestly, not the guy I wanted but I am glad it's over. I've had enough.

Watched 'Before the Devil Knows Your Dead' last night. Really good flick. Started it about 8PM as I couldn't stand to watch Britt Hume and others reading numbers with 2% of precincts reporting. Flick ended around 10:30PM and then I jumped on to watch the horror.
It's impossible for words to describe what is
necessary to those who do not know what horror means.
Horror. Horror has a face...And you must make a friend of horror. Horror and
moral terror are your friends.

-AR

Mac Live 11/3/08

2008-11-03T10:57:00.004-05:00

Had the opportunity this am to go and check out John McCain live. He was making a stop in Tampa at 8AM in front of the home of the Tampa Bay Bucs, Raymond James Stadium. I hauled my ass up at 6AM, after a final show last night at Side-Splitters and positioned myself about 10 feet from the podium. A smallish crowd was milling around and as I watched the Secret Service checking us out, I felt like Travis Bickle at a Palantine rally. A couple of local hacks opened up the festivities, putting the already sleepy crowd dead on their feet. There is a reason these clowns are County Commissioners. Once they finished braying, the bleachers started to fill up and 'homemade' signs were dispersed. 'I'm Joe the Plumber.' 'Tampa Loves McCain' etc. I stood behind a woman who made Sean Hannity look like a socialist. She was screaming 'No-bama' every chance she could get. I wanted to knock her down and say, 'We get it! We all agree! Shut the fuck up!'

Former Tampa Bay Buc Mike Alstott kicked off with opening remarks then gave way to Gov. Charlie Crist, who makes Tan Master George Hamilton look like that kid from 'Powder.' My man, Sen. Mel Martinez was up there as well as Tom Ridge. Of course, Cindy McCain was on hand as she has to always be within 5 feet of John. Not sure what is going on there. Sort of like Linda McCartney in Wings. No real role, he just likes having her around.

Mac spoke, the crowd went nuts, and then they all split for the bus. Gov. Crist, hung around for some small talk with anyone who wanted to chat. By that time, I had been on my feet for 3 hours and in need of my air conditioned sled. I split hoping I had just saw the next President of the USA. As Jesse says, 'Keep hope alive!' That is what I am trying to do.

Care To Guess Who This Is?

2008-10-29T16:45:00.000-04:00

Local Gig

2008-10-29T15:34:00.003-04:00

Time to work a local gig. Yes, that's right. Get in the car and be at the show within minutes. Bang out the local jokes, pick on the local people, then head to the bar and drink with the same. Gotta love the local gig. I'll be taking the mike at SideSplitters Comedy Club 10/30-11/2. 7 big shows.

How many more days till the election? I am growing weary. I heard the Messiah say 'A righteous wind' was blowing and I nearly puked up my moon pie. I still hold out hope that a McCain victory can be had. Although I also picked the Rays in 5 so take it for what it's worth. I wish Barry had come to my door weeks ago. I could have asked about his tax plan and become 'Al the Comedian.' Might have been just the jump start my career has needed. Speaking of which, there is an old clip of mine on youtube. I have no idea how I ended up in the Golden Age but it's pretty cool to be with some of the heavy hitters that are found there. This particular clip was shot at Stand Up NY sometime around 1993. It was a taping for a Comedy Central show called 'Stand Up Stand Up.' I remember hanging out in the basement, er, greenroom with a kid named Jon Stewart. He was working on an MTV show the name of which fails me. Something about people sending in an idea and then it was acted out on the show. Didn't last long but he seems to be doing okay.

I have a few articles regarding Stand Up Comedy at the Examiner. Punch in my name and my scribblings should come up. I write about the Tampa Comedy scene but will soon be moving to the National Comedy Scene as the Tampa scene has 2 clubs and how much can you really say about them? Ya dig?

Weird World Series game tonight. So if the Phils win, do they jump around the field and celebrate? Wouldn't that look rather odd after only 3.5 innings? I think the Rays will take this and bring it back to the dome for Game 6. As for the dome, how good does it look now after watching Game 5?

-AR