Polybloggimous

Cats Of Twenty-Ten: Part II

2010-01-04T23:30:00.000-05:00

OK, Fine! Teufel is just a slut. He'll drape himself over whatever female is handy. (Widget doesn't seem to be complaining, though.)

I Swear To God, This Is Real.

2010-01-04T22:01:00.001-05:00

I honestly wish I had made it up.

Everybody should believe in something. I believe I'll have another cup of coffee.

2010-01-04T14:48:00.000-05:00

The unthinkable happened last night. I was getting ready to brew a pot of after-dinner coffee and while rinsing out the pot -- you know, swirling the water around in it -- I smashed it against the side of the sink.

OH NOOOOEEEEEES!

Yeah, I broke it. I didn't manage to smash it to smithereens or anything, just busted out a little 1/2-inch piece of glass from the bottom. In my panic-stricken mind, I started brainstorming about possible repairs. I had the little piece of glass, rescued from the sink. I started imagining miracle-glue, duct tape, bondo, you name it. None of these seemed like real options.

Genius struck! I remembered that coffee has been drunk for centuries...long before there was electricity and automatic drip pots. I just needed to filter the hot water through some grounds and presto! There would be coffee.

So, I took a little sieve...almost identical to this one.

And I put a coffee filter into it and I filled the filter full of grounds and then I filled a pot with water until it just got about 1/2 of the sieve submerged and set the pot to boil. This made a fine little pot of coffee (after much stirring of the grounds with a fork so they'd all actually get wet instead of just floating there).

And by the time I was done, I realized that actually heating up the water in a kettle and then pouring it through the grounds might have some precedent. My plan for the morning was complete.

There is, however something I hadn't contemplated. Making coffee in the morning is impossible. It's a paradox. It's a miracle that it ever happens at all. Ya'see, I, like many people, have a hard time doing anything in the morning before having my first cup of coffee.

I've grown accustomed to making coffee (the new fashioned way) in my sleep. Most mornings I manage to put the filter in before putting the grounds into the basket. Most mornings I manage to pour approximately the right amount of water into the reservoir. Most mornings I remember to push the "start" button before I walk away to wait for the noise that signifies the availability of coffee! (You'll note the repeated use of the word "most" instead of "all". I've been known to skip a step on occasion.)

I have to say, the putting of coffee grounds into a sieve balanced over an empty pot awaiting the whistle of the kettle was almost beyond me this morning. I didn't want to wait for the water to really come to a boil. I wanted to pour it all in there at once instead of waiting for enough to drip through the grounds first.

Making coffee is hard!

In little while, I'm off to the store in search of our new coffee maker. It'll be bright and shiny, and red (don't ask), and most importantly, it'll have a self-timer so I can set it up tonight and have the coffee make itself tomorrow.

First Cat Picture of Twenty-Ten.

2010-01-03T21:30:00.000-05:00

And yes. LuLu and Teufel do sleep like that all the time.

In Which Nathan Is Once Again Overly Concerned About Rubbish.

2010-01-03T11:01:00.000-05:00

Our recycling pick up day is Friday. Last Friday was Christmas Day. The Department of Sanitation had a notice on their website that they'd pick up on Saturday.

They didn't.

This week New Years Day fell on Friday. The Department of Sanitation has this notice on their website notifying people that they won't get around to catching up on recycling pickups until next Friday, January 8th.

I'm about to have three weeks worth of paper, cans and bottles waiting for pickup. Our trash cans runneth over!

Just in case you feel like this was an entirely pointless post that couldn't possibly interest anyone other than me - and you're probably right - I'll point out that Sanitation has these nifty clothes with a "DSNY" logo on them which briefly started a kerfuffle a few years back with "DKNY". See? Now I've told you something you probably didn't know about.

We now return you (OK later) to your usual scintillating content.

Coming Soon To An Anachronism Emporium Near You!

2010-01-02T19:07:00.000-05:00

A bit of visual short-hand is shortly going to be on its way out. For centuries, if you were important or highly educated (or wanted to appear important or highly educated), you posed for a photo (or portrait) in front of all of your books. What else could so quickly telegraph that you were looking at a deep person.

I would have included a picture of myself in front of my bookcase, (important, highly educated person that I am), but then you might be able to make out the titles and then the jig would be up. Take a moment to look over these important and/or highly educated people in front of their books.

I could be wrong, but I think this one is an actress from a BBC series. I only included her because all of the other shots were of dead white guys (in black and white shots). I thought we could use some diversity and some color. And I'm not saying she isn't important or highly educated -- I haven't a clue -- but she is on a BBC show. They're supposed to be more erudite than us over there, aren't they? (Or at least they sound like it.)

So, anyway, it shouldn't be too long before all of these books and bookcases go the way of the Hi-Fi and the entertainment console.

What will people pose in front of a few years down the road -- a monitor? an e-reader? a box of chips? Will books only be owned by people who desperately need to look smart? Will they become rare and a valuable commodity? Or will they be "not worth the paper they're written on" and disdained?

I realize it'll be decades before this is really an issue, but there are schools already that don't use any printed textbooks. Fear not, though. Even though I'm only thinking about this now, there are others who've thought about it before. The family who own the home pictured below aren't big readers but they still wanted to impress visitors. So they had a trompe l'oeil bookcase painted on their wall.

I wish I could decide just how horrified or awestruck that makes me.

Last Thing Of The Day.

2010-01-01T23:11:00.000-05:00

There's an anti-smoking commercial running in NY right now and the folks who made it obviously think it's very clever. I'm not sure it means what they think it means.

The tagline on the commercial is "You don't drink every time you smoke, so why do you smoke every time you drink?" The thing is, they show this woman preparing for her smoke break. She's there in the cubicle farm at work with her blender making what looks like a very tasty daquiri. And then she's outside of her office (relegated to a back alley, of course), having her cigarette and drinking her frozen, red drink.

Obviously, this commercial is meant to make me feel like I should forgo my smokes the next time I have a drink. Au contraire mon frere! This commercial makes me want to make sure there's an open bar at my next office.

And Here I Am...Back Again.

2010-01-01T17:17:00.000-05:00

I've been meaning to mention that I've connected another strand on the UCF Hairball. Yesterday, I had lunch with Tom (he of Snavely fame). That makes 4 UCFers I've now met in person. It was a most excellent lunch followed by a tour of the neighborhood. (Tom came into Brooklyn since he's visiting out on Long Island right now.) With the possibility of a trip to Seattle on the near horizon, I may be adding a few more really soon.

OK, this next part may not seemed connected, but just stick with me for a minute and you'll get it. Immediately after 9/11, NYC began putting up various barriers around public buildings (because someone might hijack a 787, but not know how to fly it, so they might taxi all the way to their intended target and...) Anyway, I suppose it was excusable that, as often as not, they put up a bunch of ugly Jersey Barriers around these buildings. One presumed that it was a temporary measure until they could come up with something more permanent. One presumed wrong.

Here's another spot in Brooklyn. In fairness, I think there's some construction going on here. The Jersey Barriers used to be approximately where that orange snow fence is, so maybe they are putting in something more permanent (and attractive?) here. Either way, I'm still a little pissed that they've left it looking like shit for more than 8 years.

So, anyway, when Tom was getting ready to head back out to the Island, I walked with him to the Long Island Railroad station. There's a brand new one in my neighborhood that just opened recently. Get a look at that.

This is new construction. I'm guessing that they've known they'd want some sort of street level security devices beginning sometime very early in the design process. And this is what they came up with. Here's the thing. There are other places in town where they did just randomly drop a bunch of massive stone blocks. This isn't random...it's how they designed the fucking place. I was too lazy to go get you shots of the other side of these blocks, but most of them have benches cut into them on the other side (if you can call a flat spot on a slab a bench). And it's not obvious from the pictures, but these don't even line up in a well-placed arc. They really do look like someone dropped them there in a hurry because they just thought of it.

I've gotta think that building this type of thing into new construction would be an element of design that's being taught and practiced these days. If this is the best they can come up with, there's an opening in the market for someone who can do better.

And one last thing. I may have mentioned that most of the delis in my neighborhood are owned by Arabs of various origins. I don't like to stereotype (yeah, right), but whenever you walk into any of these delis, you'll find the guy behind the counter talking on the phone. Most of them barely acknowledge you as they take your order and your money. Today I walked into one of the neighborhood delis and discovered that the 21st Century has reached Myrtle Avenue. In this store, they've ditched the cordless phone in favor of a laptop mounted over the counter...with a Skype call to Lebanon in progress.

Which lets me remind you...Welcome to the future. Don't fuck it up!

I Told You I'd Be Back.

2010-01-01T13:25:00.000-05:00

I'm thinking about trying to write a short story just to get back into the habit of actually...uh...writing stuff. Ultimately, I'd like to finish There's No Crying in the War Room, but it feels a little daunting at the moment. Maybe a short story is the thing to get the juices flowing again.

Anyway, I kind of want to do a SciFi piece based on a reworked version of what I tried writing for NanoWriMo in 2008. I sort of wrote myself into a corner on that one and then got too busy to finish it, but the idea wasn't bad.

Here's the thing. In it, I cast the protagonist as a young female officer, fresh out of the Academy and on her first posting. The ship was attacked and the few survivors were captured, our protagonist being the ranking officer by virtue of being the only surviving officer. I liked the opportunity to write about someone who lacked experience (and knew it) having to take responsibility for everyone else.

But I also feel like maybe that character has been done before (and before and before and before). So I've been thinking about recasting the lead role before starting it again. Here's what I'm thinking might make for something a little more original.

I'm thinking the lead character (male or female...doesn't really matter), should be a maverick...freshly promoted from the ranks and fresh out of Officers Training School. The fact of his (or her) promotion will telegraph his or her experience and competence, but then there's always the issue of this person's...uh diplomatic skills? Put another way, when you come out of OTS, you're now considered and Officer and a Gentleman. Maybe our hero lacks somewhat on the gentleman side of things. Maybe there's another higher ranked officer involved in the story...one who maybe isn't as experienced or competent (regardless of what rank says)?

So people. Any thoughts?

BTW, if our lead is a woman she can have one of these nifty retro uniforms. :D

Welcome To The Future. Now Don't Fuck It Up.

2010-01-01T12:26:00.001-05:00

I wish I had a post that really goes with that headline, but I don't. I just liked the way it sounded and it is a worthy thought, so consider it my helpful piece of advice to begin the New Year. Now, on to the boring crap I do plan to tell you about...the current state of Polybloggimous.

During 2009, I published 369 posts, which actually means my productivity here has taken a nosedive. Ah well, sue me.

I had 21,165 visits and 31924 page views during the year. You'll note that things dropped off precipitously back in July and never really recovered. That's when that whole "naked URL" thing reared its ugly head. In short, you used to be able to get here by typing http://polybloggimous.com but ever since July, you've had to add the "www." prefix. I don't know why. I've tried to fix it, but instead, I valiantly rose to the highest levels of my incompetence. Ah well.

My last visit of 2009 showed up from Oakland, California at 11:23 p.m. last night. I have no idea how that person got here. Whoever it was didn't stick around very long either.

My first visit of 2010 (may I remind you, we're pronouncing it Twenty-Ten, not the more cumbersome Two-Thousand-Ten), came from Baltimore, Maryland at 12:27 a.m. This person was looking for pictures of pampano (that's a fish) and ended up here. (I'm mildly curious about why somebody needed to see pictures of pampano 27 minutes into the new year, but hey...)

I have to admit, I feel mildly guilty about the prominence of my blog on this image search. It's not like I'm in that picture and it's not like I took that picture. I just found it on my own image search and used it a few months ago to illustrate some pointless point and now I keep getting hits because of it. I live in daily fear that the Pampano Image Publishing Task Force (PIPTF) is going to come after me for using it. Before the LAWYERS come after me, I just want everybody to know that I'm willing to make this substitution if requested.

(And I'm wondering if this new image is going to get as many hits as the other one does.)

Anyway, that's what's been going on here at Polybloggimous. It's time for brunch and I feel more like eating than I feel like typing. I'll probably be back later today (I know you're all on pins and needles or tenterhooks or whatever impatient metaphor you want to use), so check back in.

In the meantime...Welcome to the future. Now don't fuck it up.

Happy Twenty-Ten.

2009-12-31T22:14:00.002-05:00

Some Random Crap Bouncing Around In My Head (Where There's Apparently Plenty of Room To Maneuver).

2009-12-30T13:35:00.004-05:00

First up: Maneuver just looks funny. The internet tells me that's how it's spelled, but I'm leery.

Next: (Defenestration - –noun: the act of throwing a thing or esp. a person out of a window. From the Latin fenestra meaning a window or opening.) How many words do you know that are that damned specific. I mean, really -- how often do you really need the word defenestrate? I love this word. I want this word to come live with me so I can cuddle it and feed it snacks and have it giggle with me as I defenestrate various objects and/or (esp.) people.

Third: I've got a couple of new regular lurkers. One is in the UK, the other is local. The local one appears to work at a well-known publishing house. C'mon guys -- delurk! (Note to the one at the publishing house: I swear I won't bug you to publish me before I actually finish writing something, so you're in little danger of me ever bugging you to publish me. Really.)

D.) I'm still dying of curiosity to find out why the E Street Band wasn't in the house for Springsteen's Kennedy Center Honors. Am I the only one? I can't find any mention of it on any of the Gossip sites.

5.) As some of you know, I'm having Jeff and Vince build me a professional website. Vince sent me the "skeleton" for the photo hosting portion of the site for me to play around with a little and see how I like it. It's flexible as all git-out and I've got a lot of choices to make about how I want it to behave. I got it and was a little bit overwhelmed by how much is there. So I sent Vince an email asking for a little tutorial.

He sent me a 31-page PDF explaining all of the arcana of the site. It was highly detailed. Highly detailed. So detailed, it was a little beyond the progress I've made so far. I suppose the equivalent would be if I'd bought a new Flat-Screen TV and queried the manufacturer about some difficulties I was experiencing. The manufacturer (if it was an extremely responsive manufacturer), might respond by telling me about light to dark ratios, length of time (in nanoseconds) it takes a pixel to turn on or off, compatibility with European standards...stuff like that. To which I might respond -- Uh, how do I change the channel?

Vince -- How do I change the channel?

And finally: I absolutely had one more thing on my mind...but it's gone. Pfffffft. I'll let you know if I think of it.

Closets Are For Hangers...When You've Used The Door.

2009-12-29T23:35:00.003-05:00

Update 9:30 a.m. 12/30: I forgot that this post needs a preemptive response to certain nitpickers who are sure to come along. I know that the lyric is supposed to be "Winners use the door". I've just always had this image of a shirt hanging from the doorknob, and my headline is the way I've always heard it. I'm sure Bruce would have written it that way if he'd thought of it. He's welcome to change it (without credit) if he wishes. I'm just generous that way.
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I watched the Kennedy Center Honors tonight and I was surprised at how good it was. The part for Dave Brubeck was very cool. The presentation for Mel Brooks included a performance of Springtime for Hitler. Matthew Morrison is about to become a HUGE star and watching the Obamas' reaction to the performance was a little surreal.

The night was capped off with the presentation for Bruce Springsteen. John Stewart did the intro in which he surmised that Bob Dylan and James Brown had had a love child and abandoned him on the side of the NJ Turnpike -- That child was Bruce Springsteen. Great line.

I was struck by a few things.

1.) I realize that it's fashionable to think of Bruce as Rock for old people. Tough shit. I guess I'm old people.
2.) I wondered where the E Street Band was. Did they get dissed? Did they dis him? I have no clue. Maybe neither, but I was surprised they weren't there.

When Springsteen first showed up on the scene -- around the time I was 13 or 14, I was sure his name meant he was Jewish. I was pissed when I finally saw the spelling. I used to blast Greetings from Asbury Park out the back windows of the house and "shoot hoops" (in my case, the quotation marks really did apply), and hope that the two girls who lived in the house behind us would notice me. (They probably did -- and thought, "That dork is at it again".)

Anyway, here's something good to have come out of the 70's.

Rosalita from a live performance in 1975.

For Lack of Anything Else To Post About...

2009-12-29T15:02:00.001-05:00

Your result for The Who Would You Be in 1400 AD Test...

The Knight

You scored 45% Cardinal, 31% Monk, 35% Lady, and 54% Knight!

You are the hero. Brave and bold. You are strong and utterly selfless. You are also a pawn to your superiors and will be lucky if you live very long. If you survive the Holy wars you are thrust into you will be praised for your valor and opportunities both romantic and financial will become available to you.

Take The Who Would You Be in 1400 AD Test at HelloQuizzy

Coincidence? You Tell Me.

2009-12-28T11:33:00.002-05:00

I only noticed this the other night, but is it mere coincidence that teh eevil Fairy Godmother from Shrek 2 disappeared and then, suddenly, this other lady showed up on the national scene?

Hmmmmm?

Nobody Would Notice If I Said I Wrote It. Would They?

2009-12-27T17:39:00.002-05:00

I was listening to some of the new regulations for air travel in the wake of another failed bombing and found myself thinking, "Wouldn't we all be safer if they just made everybody fly naked...in straightjackets?" Well, of course we would. So while I was letting that germinate in my head, I was Stumbling around the web and I ran across this 2002 post on The Onion.

"WASHINGTON, DC—Seeking to address "the number-one threat to airline security," the Federal Aviation Administration announced Monday that it will consider banning passengers on all domestic and international commercial flights. "

Bastards! There goes another perfectly good idea.

"Next Blog"? Not So Impressed.

2009-12-27T08:26:00.010-05:00

Once upon a time, I wrote a little something about that "Next Blog" link you see on the banner across the top of most Blogger Blogs. (I think you can hide the banner, but why bother). Anyway, I noted that it was pretty useless and took you to blogs in foreign languages you couldn't read and all of them seemed to be about Futbol, Asian Teen Heartthrobs or Mid-Western Families (with Family Values).

I noticed this morning that Blogger said they were making it more useful (announcement dated November 10th). Here's what they had to say.

"Some of you must have wondered what the Next Blog link on the NavBar does, and clicked on the link once or twice. Next Blog used to take you to a random blog, written by a random blogger. Your fellow blogger could have been writing her blog in a language that you don't know how to read. Or you might be someone who likes to read about food and restaurants in Germany, but your randomly chosen next blog could have been focused on sports, and written in Tagalog.

We've made the Next Blog link more useful, by taking you to a blog that you might like. The new and improved Next Blog link will now take you to a blog with similar content, in a language that you understand. If you are reading a Spanish blog about food, the Next Blog link will likely take you to another blog about food. In Spanish!

You might discover a cool blogger who has hobbies similar to yours, has similar taste in electronic gadgets, likes sports that you're into, or has similar curiosities and interests. We will finish rolling out the new and improved Next Blog link over the next week and hope that you will enjoy discovering blogs that are likely to interest you."

Of course, I decided to give it a try since:
A). I was bored.
B). It might give me something to write about.
and C). I had already read the rest of the Internet.

First, I thought I'd see what happens when navigating from my own blog. What would Blogger's algorithm decide my blog is all about...an admittedly difficult proposition, since I'd be a little hard pressed to tell you what it's about.

First stop? The Womack's website.

Now, I'm sure Jeff and Melissa are just lovely people, but this doesn't seem like the place for me.

If the first stop had been even a vaguely similar blog to my own, I'd have hit the "next blog" button again. I decided that since we were so far off the mark I'd go back to my own blog and start all over again.

Second try lead me to a blog called Her's Story. There's no "About Me" page, so I'm not sure who writes this blog, but the writing and the sidebar lead me to believe that English is not the writer's first language.

A quick click on "Next Blog" from that one took me to a Gospel Music Site. Go Figure.

I figured I'd give it one more shot starting from my own place again.

Arggggghhhhhhhhhh! Another Uber-Christian Mommie Blog!

What the fuck does Blogger think my blog is? Have I been watching my fucking language too fucking much lately? Well, that's right out for the immediate future. Fuck!

Anyway, three strikes and you're out.

I decided to give it another try from a ... shall we say...more focused blog? I decided to see what would happen when my starting point was Stonekettle Station. That's Jim's place...or is it?

Rumor has it (OK, I started the rumor) that Jim is not the macho retired Chief Warrant Officer spewing bile...and vile Liberal Propaganda, but really an 11-year-old Mongolian girl...spewing bile...and vile Liberal Propaganda. Whatever. The point is that Blogger should only know the words on the blog and should send a reader to another opinionated foul-mouthed blog...right?

Well, spewing something anyway. Go visit The Nelsons. Scroll down and immerse yourselves in ...dirty diapers. Now, really. Nothing against the Nelsons but I doubt somebody looking for another blog similar to Jim's is going there. Let's give it one more shot. OK, I cheated...I gave it seven more shots. Guess what. Every time I clicked "Next Blog" from Stonekettle Station, I was led to another site chronicling someones recovery from addiction.

I figured I'd give it one more shot. Let's try it from a website with a very clear focus. I went to DollyGrippery.

This is a website exclusively devoted to operating camera dollies and cranes. It's about camera movement and dolly track. It's about all of the hardware and finesse associated with getting a lens from A to B to C smoothly and in the right time. I've been reading it for a bit more than a year and I can't remember once reading about anything political, medical, maternal, theological, or psychological. It's a blog that's focused on one narrow part of filmmaking. Where does "Next Blog" lead to from there? GrandMommy Blogs. Six in a row.

Blogger, I've gotta tell ya. At least the previous version of "Next Blog" was sometimes entertaining in its randomness. This thing doesn't work at all. I'd tell you myself, but that doesn't appear to be an option.

Pigeon Impossible

2009-12-26T16:58:00.002-05:00

This is an animated short by Lucas Martell. Enjoy. With three awards so far, the film festivals seem to be.

Well Bugger Me Backwards. Look What This Gormless Pom Is Whingeing About.

2009-12-26T10:33:00.004-05:00

I have to say I'm a little at a loss for words...which strikes me as an excellent way to start a blog post.

I'm about a month late, coming to the party, but I just discovered via Gawker this article by Stefanie Marsh for Times Online. I won't try to restate her premise, 'cause frankly, I'm really not sure what it is.

She starts off lovingly waxing nostalgic about a friend, who at age 13 was hanging out with friends one night when they were "...leapt on by a gang who robbed them not only of their money but all their clothes. For good measure the gang spray-painted their tag across the naked chests of the three boys, who were forced to walk home naked, petrified and yet altered." The paragraph goes on to conclude, “That day” Roger likes to reminisce, not altogether ironically, “we became men.” "

WTF? No, really! WTF! She goes on to deride a NYC in which: toughened post 9/11 border controls have dissuaded some people from moving to NY and settling, instead in London or Berlin, Rich bankers and investment brokers who made the city expensive and then, after the bubble burst, are now pariahs, and the morphing of CBGB's into a high-end boutique (that -- gasp -- kept some of the murals from CBGB's heyday). I think there's something in there about modern architecture with lots of glass and no exterior walls, and she finishes off with a quote about there being a Whole Foods Market (OMFG,) on Bowery.

Now, I'm on record as thinking that post 9/11 security is more window dressing than anything else, but if it kept some people in London or Berlin, am I really supposed to mourn that. Is she really longing for a time when three 13-year-olds could lose their money and clothes to a gang of other kids? Or is it the creativity of tagging the naked kids with their gang signs? I've got news for you. You can still get robbed really easily in NYC. I wouldn't even really have to point you toward the wrong (or would that be right) neighborhood to get the job done. Here's just the highlights for crime in my precinct from a couple of weeks ago. (I have to admit that I always think I live in a really safe neighborhood until I read the weekly roundup on that blog.)

And if you think NYers have lost their flair for the creative, I'll point out that just a week or so ago, the cops arrested a guy for breaking into closed parking lots and then charging people to park there! And then there were the guys who wheeled their dead friend to a check cashing store so they could cash his social security check. You want creativity? Take that, you prat!

I'm not sure which good old days she's longing for. Would that be the 70's when the city was dead broke but the Ramones were playing CBGB's or the 80's when Greed was Good? And speaking of CBGB's, even CBGB's wasn't CBGB's every night. For every night that Patti Smith, or Blondie, or The Talking Heads played, there were a bunch of nights when the band playing...uh..wasn't Patti Smith or Blondie or The Talking Heads. Hey, the place had a great run, lasting until 2006, but by the time I moved here in 1986, it was already starting to coast. I went there three or four times and I never saw anybody memorable play. That's fine. I had fun. I drank a lot. I danced around to some bands nobody ever heard of before or after. But the place smelled like beer and piss the second you got to the door, and, God-forbid you ever saw what it looked like in the light of day.

And what's wrong with having a Whole Foods on Bowery? Is this somehow so much worse than stepping over passed-out drunks in dark doorways? Did you prefer when trash blew down the streets (even when it was being picked up), and the pre-cellphone days of trying to find the one payphone in 12 square blocks that worked? Did you like it when gunshots rang out so often that nobody even bothered calling the cops anymore?

WTF are you talking about? Oh, and posted on the same day, you've got your "Six Cities that beat the Big Apple" article. (Was a concierge or limo driver here mean to you on your last visit? Is that what this is really all about?) I can't claim to be well traveled. The closest I've been to London is a one-hour layover at Heathrow -- lovely airport, that. And I loved Tel Aviv, but I haven't been there since 1978, so I'm guessing things have changed. I'd love to go to all of those cities. And I'm ecstatic that they meet your qualifications for being cool places. Good for them.

But I live in New York. And I like walking the streets at night with just a modicum of cluefulness. I like being able to buy groceries in a decent store. I don't care where investment bankers are now persona non grata -- I was never at the top of those places' guest lists to begin with. I may not be the target audience, but I can assure you that New York still has its share of cool places to go, populated by hipsters, artists, disaffected youth and just plain lowlifes. The spots have just moved around...like they always have and always will. Or maybe you're just missing your youth hanging out with the Dead Rabbits?

Seriously. WTF?

And Another Thing...

2009-12-24T12:50:00.002-05:00

In case you missed it, NYC and Washington D.C. apparently react differently to impromptu acts of harmless mayhem.

In D.C., an off duty cop who happened upon a snowball fight pulled his gun and started threatening people. When a cop in NYC encountered the same thing in Times Square, he made himself scarce.

Here's a ton of pics of The Epic 2009 Times Square Snowball Fight!

It's Official. I No Longer Have One Iota Of Redneck Cred Remaining. (And That's O.K. By Me.)

2009-12-24T10:49:00.005-05:00

Did you know that Krystal Burgers has a Hall of Fame? (Depending on where you live, have you ever even heard of Krystal?) Anyway, I ran across this story this morning about a woman who broke down in tears when she discovered that Krystal had finally opened a restaurant near her home in suburban Houston. It's touching as all git-out. (Quote from her brother Rick, “You know you're a redneck when your sister's picture is on a Krystal's burger box.”)

For those of you who are geographically challenged (in the sense of never having run across a Krystal before), they've got all of the normal burger-ey stuff now, but they got their start with these little postage-stamp-like burgers, which are similar to the White Castle Sliders. I grew up in North Florida, so Krystal was part of the landscape. If you remember the great White Castle = Not Hamburgers debate of Aught-Seven, you'll know that I fall into the "Not Hamburgers" side of the controversy. So, I'm not likely to ever become a Krystal Hall-of-Famer.

Add to that, the fact that the nearest Krystal to me is in Bristol, VA...over 500 miles away, and the likelihood of me becoming a Krystal devotee anytime soon is...negligible. (But, really, doesn't that look worth the trip?)

In New York, burgerly speaking, we've got yer McD's, yer Burger Kings, and yer Wendy's. We've got Roy Rogers..which has burgers, but that isn't really their thing, now is it? And we've got Arby's, which I don't think even makes a burger. (I do claim their roast beef-like product™ sandwich with horseradish sauce as one of my guilty pleasures, but we're talking about burger-love here.) We do have a couple of Johnny Rockets in the city, but...meh...I'm not thrilled with the whole nostalgia-themed food experience.

Besides that, there are plenty of places to get a better burger here...like anywhere. Every diner does burgers. Most pizza joints do burgers. And I'm surrounded by gourmet burgers. Missing Krystal is the last thing on my mind.

If there's one fast food experience I actually do miss from the south, it would have to be Hardee's. Hardee's actually has (or at least had, the last time I was in one), some tasty burgers.

And their fries were absolutely to die for! (I'm pretty sure they fried them in fortified, meaty, greasy grease which added massive amounts of flavor, but you didn't really want to know more than that.)

The nearest Hardee's is a mere 148 miles from me in Middletown, DE.

I may have to do a road trip to find out if they're as good as I remember them. I'm pretty sure they have cheap cigarettes in Delaware, too! It'll be just like a trip to the health spa...only kinda different.

Thank You U.S. Department of Transportation.

2009-12-22T10:09:00.002-05:00

You may have heard that airlines will soon be required to return to the gate and deplane the passengers if an aircraft is in danger of sitting on the tarmac for 3 hours or more. They'll also be required to serve food and water within 2 hours of the beginning of a delay, to keep the ventilation running and to maintain functioning restrooms throughout the delay. And DOT is planning to levy some stiff fines for infractions -- $27,500 per passenger kind of stiff!

These all sound like good things but I'm not so sure. I'm pretty sure this is going to trigger some of those unintended consequences we often hear about. I, for one, am looking forward to paying $6,000 for a coach seat from NYC to Pittsburgh.

Yeah. That'll be great.

Brain Is Stuck In Neutral.

2009-12-21T22:32:00.002-05:00

Or maybe I'm just boring as hell right now.

I've really wanted to post something worth a damn for the last few days...and I've got nothing. Needless to say, this is making me all shades of nutso.

I'm really hoping it doesn't take a "bolt out of the blue" to provide inspiration. I hear they hurt.

Ratatouille

2009-12-21T09:06:00.003-05:00

I made ratatouille (of a sort) for dinner last night. We don't really like eggplant so much, so mine has zucchini, tomatoes and onions. That's all seasoned with olive oil and salt and pepper. Then it's topped with some mozzarella, parmesan and bread crumbs (also mixed with a little olive oil).

This is what it looked like before it went into the oven. It looked almost exactly the same when it came out (40 minutes at 400º), so just look at the same shot twice.

This guy helped.

Hey! It Snowed!

2009-12-20T21:31:00.001-05:00

And I took pictures of it from inside the house.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

And I paid a neighborhood kid to do my shoveling. He did a really nice job...doncha' think?