Click Chick

Out with the Old, In with the New

2008-07-23T01:11:00.007+10:00

It's time for a clean up, shake down, clear out...
It's time for change, it's time for something new.

It's time i actually got round to doing all the things i said i would do.

Yup. Finally.

Starting with Click Chick v2.0!! Huge thanks to Patricia Low for her lovely camera-angel doodles (*big HUGS*) and BittBox for the Photoshop CS brushes (amazing stuff!).

I'm naming it 'remember the rain' in memory of the many quiet nights spent beside my bedroom window tracing raindrops with my fingers and musing about everything, nothing and all that lies in-between.

Tra la...

Ignorance is bliss

2008-07-18T03:41:00.006+10:00

"Sails", Sydney Biennale 2008@Cockatoo Island, Sydney.

When the illusion of anonymity is shattered
a certain joy of freedom is lost

Maybe ignorance really is bliss and maybe if we really tried hard enough, we may start to believe it.

It's been a while since i last blogged. I think i finally feel like everyone's forgotten enough about this dusty lil blog so that i can blog in blissful anonymity again. It's strange... thinking that people i know actually read this thing makes me feel self-conscious and yet thinking that no one cares enough to read it also makes me feel a lil dejected. Sometimes i wish i'd just make up my mind *blek*

------------------

The great thing about dreams is that they stay in your head. They stay illusions, they stay impossible and they stay just as we intend them to be. The problem with having great ideas is that on the rare occasion that one has to realise them, in the bright glare of reality they sometimes don't seem that great after all... hmm..

-------------------

In an attempt to distract myself from watching too many episodes of 'Will & Grace' in one night, i took to doing some of those "silly internet personality quizzes" clicking randomly on any quiz title that appeared vaguely interesting (or mind-numbing). After finding out what type of chocolate i am (dark chocolate), what type of brain i have (balanced brain ;D) and which 80s song i am (not telling ;p), i clicked on a quiz titled "why are you still single?" - partly for amusement, partly because it was taunting me - and began randomly clicking away at the multiple choice answers.

After half-lucidly clicking on the "finish" button, i sat, watched the little 'loading' bar slowly turn blue and contemplated all the random useless possible "results" that would soon pop up on my screen. Surprisingly, what popped up next kind of made me stop and think a bit...

The answer to my question apparently is that i "don't want to slow down":

"Whether you're working all hours, busy with school, or planning a cross-country move, it sounds like you just don't have time for anyone else in your life...right now, that is. Your timing may be off in other aspects, too. Chances are, you've met that perfect person who just so happens to be married or planning their own cross-country move. So take a step back for a moment. Is there something underlying this? Could it be you're afraid to get involved for some reason or another, and are therefore attracted to people who are simply unavailable?"

Convicted by a computer.. now that's sad ;p

And to think i wondered why i stopped blogging for so long *sigh*

O_o"

2008-06-17T20:32:00.002+10:00

this is some...
some seriously cool time-lapse painting

Popper Box Paintathon from Popper Box on Vimeo.

my bum's getting itchy.. i want to do something random and creative and completely pointless.. i need accomplices.. i need ideas.. i need to just get the move on and do them already ;p

if you're free, equally inclined to the random and are based in Sydney, let me know.

Cravings..

2008-06-13T16:13:00.003+10:00

I woke up this morning and craved Beef & Wine Pies...
so i made some..

*whee* Random cravings lead to random cooking sessions.. half a day of boiling the stew to death, an hour of making pastry, some time tanning in the oven.. then instant satisfaction... *yums*

i think all this sleep and sunshine is doing something even worse to my head than all that staying up at night.. but at least this way i don't have to eat maggie mee *ugh*

now if you'll excuse me, i have some pies to devour *tra la..*

Who needs sleep?

2008-06-08T03:20:00.003+10:00

*blows layer of dust off her poor abandoned blog*

life's been strange lately... i always talk about being nocturnal but it's terrible this time.. i really have been doing life in reverse and it's a tad bit fascinating but mostly disturbing.. kinda like hanging upside down for too long - fun for a bit but seriously messes up[ your head. The days never seem to pass, and everything is suspended in this surreal state of continuum...

just a little bit longer....

Meanwhile.. i found this really amusing.. bathroom sessions by barenakedladies of my anthem of no sleep *hee* check it out..

the simple life

2008-05-09T01:33:00.004+10:00

Walking along Walsh Bay, i came across this friendly guy doing a spot of fishing at the docks..

Sometimes the best solution to a complicated problem..
Is a simple one.

In a much happier mood today. Got to get out of my bat cave for a bit and spend the night with good company and great sticky-date pudding ;D *hee* It's easy to forget sometimes that there's so much more to life than what occurs in our little worlds on a daily basis. Somewhere out there someone's getting born, getting married, getting older, getting to work, getting hurt, getting saved, getting lost... in the grand scheme of things, our little daily worries and troubles now seem forgettable.

Sometimes simple is beautiful and beauty can be simple.

Things still need to get fixed, work needs to get done, problems need to be solved. Yet, if we constantly remind ourselves that wonderful moments can still be found in any situation, perhaps it would make life's mundane and moody moments that much more bearable :)

Following The Leader...

2008-05-06T00:23:00.003+10:00

Following the leader, the leader, the leader,
following the leader where ever he may go..

Sometimes i wonder...
why i even bother at all.

Ever get the feeling that no matter what you do or how good your intentions/aspirations/ideas it all don't matter in the end? No matter what you intend to communicate to someone else it somehow has a way of turning out completely different leaving you exasperated and thinking "what's the point of trying so hard to be nice and likable and good and perfect" when it's perfectly easy to be quite the opposite - almost too easy *blek*...

Another pointless rant about another pointless subject.

Sometimes it feels like i waste too much time living in my head and not enough time actually living O_o"

i need a life.

A work in progress...

2008-04-13T03:32:00.014+10:00

The combination of several non-related random things..
gave me a wonderful little revelation today

*Warning: i'm feeling pensive and corny all at once right now so this might be a rather strange blog post*

Between watching the Nanny Diaries, reading up on some architecture research and surfing the web, i came across three little random thoughts today that made me smile..

The first was when i watched the Nanny Diaries while munching on my brekkie cupcake. One of the scenes at the start of the film is of Scarlett Johannes's character being interviewed for a job. The interviewer asks her to describe who she is and she completely blanks out. It made me think a bit about what i would do and say if i were in her place (which may be sometime in the near future if i survive final year :p)... who is grace, really? what is grace? how would i describe her to an alien life-form if i had to describe her to an alien life-form?

Later in the day, while pouring through an architecture journal, i came across this statement made by Japanese architect Toyo Ito: "True creation is when you can't tell what's ahead, you can't see until you get there." Second interesting thought - sometimes we don't have to know where we're headed to know how to get there. Brilliant... an excuse for me to be mildly blur and quite clueless about just about everything :D

Out of curiosity i started surfing the net to find out more about Toyo Ito and i eventually clicked on the link to his main website. What popped up made me smile and suddenly, it all made complete sense in my funny little head.

The opening screen of that website said "Toyo Ito - Work In Progress" it was probably meant in reference to the website not being completed but i chose to take it at face value just because that simple statement is so wonderfully poignant and beautiful - "Toyo Ito: Work in progress" - love it!!

It was then that i realised that regardless of looming insecurities and uncertainties, there was a saving grace (yes, pun intended..). It didn't matter if i hadn't got it all figured out yet because i'm still a work in progress - always have been, always will be. Perfection is not an end result, rather it's a process of progress... something to be worked at and to strife for.

Nobody's perfect and frankly, i'd rather be Somebody
(heheh... sorry, couldn't help myself...awfully pun-ny today.. get it? get it? fun-ny... pun-ny.. *hee* ;p)

Signing off tonight,
-grace, a work in progress

No more emo

2008-04-03T01:19:00.005+11:00

On strict orders from Rachel
i am no longer allowed to blog emo posts..

heheh.. (*hi rachel*)

So today's post will be sunny and happy and quite content. It will have blue skies and sun hats and an evil little delicious fried treat. It will be posted at the end of a lovely lazy day in remembrance of a lovely lazy day. If only everyday could be sunny and spent doing nothing at the beach :)

So here goes:

Grace's checklist for a wonderfully lazy day at the beach :D

Mix all ingredients well, add a dusting of icing sugar on top.. and follow with a big serve of maple pecan ice cream on the side.

perfection...

i love my sunny days :)

Earth Hour 2008

2008-03-29T23:41:00.001+11:00

Looking for Light

2008-03-26T02:58:00.002+11:00

Easter morning sunrise @ The Opera House

How can i change the world..
if i can't even change myself?

Why do i long for something that i haven't known before?
Why do i have memories of things not yet come to past?
..and if all my questions were answered, would i be satisfied at last?

"These things—the beauty, the memory of our own past—are good images of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of their worshipers. For they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited."

- C. S. Lewis, 'The Weight of Glory'

Mirrors in the Mirror

2008-03-23T01:15:00.004+11:00

Spiegel Im Spiegel (Mirrors in the Mirror)

It's late now..
and as soft grey clouds blanket the sky
a little girl lays her head down to rest
and dreams

of castles and princes and smiling faces
and so she sleeps
she waits
she dreams

her thoughts on endless tomorrows
and mirrors in mirrors
wondering what they may bring..

Edo + Tyas

2008-03-17T02:43:00.004+11:00

Edo & Tyas - 15th March 2008

'Twas a bright sun-shiny Saturday
for two bright sun-shiny people..

Had a pre-wedding shoot with Edo & Tyas on Sat and had a blast. These two are such an adorable couple!

Will blog more later.. need sleep now.... ;)

*whee...*

Change?

2008-03-09T00:10:00.006+11:00

na, hui wen, pri, me and zahra's chin ;) CNY 2008

This time tomorrow,
the Malaysia i know might be a very different place..

As i write, the votes are being counted for what will surely be one of the most significant elections in Malaysia's history - and tomorrow, Malaysia will have changed. Sure, stalls will still open, cars will still be jamming up the roads and people will still be waking up to offer morning prayers but the one thing different would be the focus of their prayers for a brief moment in their mornings..

Some will pray in thanksgiving..
some in dismay..
some in disbelief..
some in fear..
some in hope..

..but most will pray with Malaysia on their mind.

The one thing i seemed to keep hearing from everyone during my CNY hols back home was "It's got to get worse for it to get better." Not quite sure i agree with that statement but i do agree that it would take something radical to shake up our country - maybe this is it.

Then again, maybe not. We'll see.

I'm not much one for politics and quite honestly, i'm not the most patriotic person in the world, but i'll still drift off tonight wondering what tomorrow's light will reveal.

Whichever way the elections swing, tonight i pray for one thing only - the future, safety and peace of my home, Malaysia.

i love you, Malaysia - you know i do.

If you change, change for the better,
If you remain, retain only what is good,
If you must be radical, do so for the right reasons and in the right way;
and if you must move on, don't move so far that i can't find you the next time i look for home.

Sleep tight. It'll be a long day tomorrow.

Hillsong Colour Conference 2008

2008-03-07T01:08:00.004+11:00

Being in the company of a stadium full of women..
is a wonderfully strange experience..

Went for my first Colour Conference today which is Hillsong church's anual women's conference. Wasn't quite sure what to expect from it but have to admit that i was quite excited to go :)

Opening night was a ton of fun and there was this moment during worship where Brooke Fraser was leading and the band stopped playing for the chorus bit... standing there right in the middle of this huge stadium, with nothing but Brooke's voice and the collective voice of thousands and thousands of women praising God was quite breathtaking. I've been in mixed crowds singing at worship and concerts before but nothing - nothing - was quite like being in a crowd of WOMEN (and girls) all singing in one voice before. There was something so amazingly pure, comforting and strong about it...

Carol turned to me and whispered "Wow, looking at this i think women can really take over the world if they wanted to..".

..and for that moment, it was possible :)

Got some piccas here that i snapped on my Sony Ericsson K800i handphone camera.. not the best thing to shoot with but i was lazy to bring my big cam ;p

Opening night '08 begins..

every..single...level in the acer arena was packed solid..

Brooke leading worship..

CNY 2008

2008-02-24T21:36:00.006+11:00

Uncle Henry & his family @ CNY dinner '08

I'm still here..
just taking some time to live life before blogging about it :)

Been neglecting my blog for a bit while i'm back in KL.. realising that it really is impossible to spend as much time as i'd like with everyone back home during my few short weeks back. To everyone i didn't manage to meet up with:

i'm really *Sorry*

It's strange how much and yet how little things have changed in the past year. It's been a holiday filled with family, good food, old friends and lots of running around. Maybe a tad too much running around.. now that it's my last week back home, i'm filled witha deep urge to just sit on my couch in front of my tv, with my dog in my home and just enjoy being at home.

This year's going to fly by the moment i touch down in Sydney. It's starting with a great deal of excitement, apprehension and uncertainty. It will end with big decisions, inevitable transitions and much change.

I wonder what it will bring.

I wonder if i really want to find out..

The Sun, the Wind, the Rain

2008-02-02T00:54:00.000+11:00

One of those (surprisingly) rare sunny summer days - shot on Fuji Reala 100.

It started to rain again today..

..and as i looked up at the grey sky, i remembered that warm summer day, under the tree, when the light was just right and the wind was just right and the tree, the light and the wind tossed dancing shadows across the table top. Nothing was said. Nothing needed to be said.

Sometimes the less we talk, the more we understand.

So i sit and wonder about what the world is doing on this quiet night.

Then i sleep and dream and in the morning, it would all have faded away..

2008-01-24T01:55:00.000+11:00

My narcissistic moment - basking (literally) in the Sydney sunlight.

I've always loved..
Open doorways and all the possibilities they bring.

The golden light of sunset, the slightest breeze, old weathered doorways with glass panels that catch the soft rays...

Maybe the long grey weekend was worth it after all.

*tra la..*

the girl in the window

2008-01-20T03:13:00.000+11:00

Self-portrait - Who is that girl in the window...

Looking out a window always
helps me find my frame of mind..

"What is time?
Is it the autumn leaves that change?
Or the snow that floats from the sky

What is Time?
Is it the air we breathe?
Or the wings that teach
The new born bird to fly

Who can tell?
I don’t know
Will we change?
Will we grow?

What is time?
Is it eternity
In heaven
Or just a hope for peace on earth

Where’s the time
Gone in a blink of an eye
But with every blink
a birth

We live
We learn
We love
In time
We give
We yearn
We grow

In time

Time for change
Its time to care
It’s not too late
Don’t despair
Reach inside your heart

To find the joy and love
To share with all mankind
For all we know

All we have.. is time"

- 'Time' by Billy Porter

Hiding inside my BOX.

2008-01-16T02:18:00.000+11:00

The BOX - Pen sketch + Photoshop rendering (for my recent summer course)

I complain a lot about having to do hand drawings..
but truth is.. i secretly like it.

It scares me like crap when i think about having to draw stuff manually.. it just seems so foreign to me which is strange seeing as i've been doing this for a few years now... some people find sky diving and bungee jumping scary... sit me down in front of a blank sheet of paper with a pen, a ruler and a 2-day deadline and i pretty much get the same feeling.

Call me weird but i still don't feel comfortable with people looking at something i've made or drawn by hand.. i'm fine with showing photos and computer graphics and other more 'processed' stuff like that but something hand-made and hand drawn.. just seems so... personal.. so blatantly human.. and raw.

I don't post my work up much here. Only the ones that scared me upon starting them and made me happy that i did attempt them once it's all finally over.

I suppose it's true that the things in life that scare you the most are often the most worthwhile - and they don't even have to be big things.. just little ones faced everyday, one little freaky feat at a time.

NYE 08 Fireworks

2008-01-11T01:18:00.000+11:00

New Year's Eve fireworks at Circular Quay, Sydney. 'Twas a wonderful night to be young, alive and sitting up there watching fireworks paint the sky..

What is it about fireworks that thrills us so much?
Why do we long for it, look for it, live for that one short moment of amazing wonder and happiness... why?

It occurred to me tonight that our lives are much like a fireworks show. We are amazed and inspired by the times when colourful fireworks light up our lives - times when we feel alive, excited, in awe and amused. And when the fireworks pause briefly in between rounds, the darkness and the quiet is amplified by its absence - yet it is a good darkness and quiet; one that is appreciated as a necessary experience in contrast to all that excitement.

As long as this alternation of highs and lows is in motion, we can engage in life - in the now.

But what happens when the show is over? That long wait in between the last show and the next? We wait and we search, passing the time running around in circles until the next thrill comes our way. Somewhere in the midst of all that running, we're so busy looking down at the ground that we miss the show happening around us altogether.

What are we waiting for? That next show? That next job, relationship, adventure, success, house, car, holiday? That next show isn't 'coming soon', it's already happening right now. We just have to stop running, look up and see that there's a whole lot more to life than we thought there was.

Live now. Love now. Life's too short to miss the fireworks.

Ever Ever After

2007-12-31T00:00:00.000+11:00

Leanne + Nat, Sydney 2007 - Here's to your happily ever after. Thanks for sharing a bit of your fairytale with me :)

"Storybook endings, fairy tales coming true,
Deep down inside we want to believe they still do,
And a secret is taught, it's our favorite part of the story
Let's just admit we all want to make it true.."
- Ever Ever After by Carrie Underwood (from the Enchanted OST)

I just saw Enchanted the movie and i have to admit that i've been reminded once again how absolutely besotted i am by the idea of fairytales. After all these years, Disney has finally redeemed itself and proved that Disney magic still exists... seriously, call me a fluff-ball but i left the theater with a deep urge to waltz, twirl and spontaneously break into song.

Maybe i was brainwashed as a child, maybe i'm idealistic, maybe i'm just plain naive but i still believe in ever ever after..

..and so, on this warm and lonely night before the night before the new year, i sit by my window, hum a little tune, look out at the world in blind hope and wonder; and wish upon a star that my prince charming is somewhere out there wishing on a star for me too..

*cue: camera pan out into a wide angle shot of a glittery star-speckled sky; cue: fairy dust; fade to black*

-the end-

P/s: Prince Charming, if you're somewhere out there reading this - yes, i want the tiara, the dress, the stardust, the waltzing and the pony too ;) - tra la..

Virtual Vandalism

2007-12-14T00:21:00.000+11:00

Little hearts on the streets of Kiama, Australia.

i heart you..
i don't want to but i do..

Blogs are kinda like street art. You can say want you want to and need to say in the most public way and still stay discreet. It's that outlet for all the pent up things you want to say. It listens, it understands, it willingly accepts all the linguistic regurgitation you throw its way.

Sometimes i reckon my blog knows me better than most people do. I tell it when i'm sad, when i'm happy and when i'm drifting somewhere in between. I tell it when i need a break, when i feel broken and when i finally break free... and all the while, still maintaining the ambiguity of the truth.

Forget camwhoring, cryptic blogging is the way to go. It's easier than etching a statement into the back of a toilet door and more sanitary too. When you think about it, blogs are rather like virtual vandalism victims. We carve into them our random thoughts, musings, opinions, feelings, aspirations, confessions, confusion, perversions, fears, anger, belief - anything that tells the world that "Hey, guess what? Grace was here - she has something to say and she wants you to know that."

It's simple really. On some level, all we want is someone to hear what we have to say..
and with virtual vandalism, we don't actually have to say it to say it.

One Giant Leap

2007-12-06T03:21:00.000+11:00

Werns, Dina, Jerms & Dale - Kiama, Australia

One giant leap towards the unknown
and i'm not sure what i'll see at the top...

These days it seems like every time i smile outside, i sigh inside.

Transitions

2007-12-04T17:38:00.000+11:00

Transitions - The Australian War Memorial, Canberra, Australia.

Each season in life comes and goes like the light of day..
giving us a changing perspective of constant things..

I hate goodbyes.
I hate transition periods.

They always leave me in this rather contemplative mood. A state of mind that straddles between acceptance of the fact that change is inevitable and in denial of the fact that things have to change. I suppose everyone moves on eventually. People meet and have good times together then move on and have good memories together.

It seems like each time i've finally figured out how things are working in my life, circumstances change to throw me back into having to start over again.

I'm sitting here with my sketch pad drawing a corner in my room. Even as i draw i can see the shadows shifting, the colours transforming, the intensity of the light rising and falling in rhythm with the passing clouds. As i watch this day pass it seems at once familiar and strange.

So i sit
i watch
i revel in the moment

then i let it go.

Tomorrow there will be a new sunrise, a new sunset, a new passing day. It will be with me for but a moment then pass me by..

and so life goes on..