Use Your Edge

Walking The Talk

2008-05-17T09:00:00.003+01:00

In a previous post we talked about what is involved in Modelling and how the process of observing and mapping the successful behaviours of other people in order to apply them to ourselves and others can support us in getting great results.

Here is a short yet powerful story which shows the importance of walking the talk.

A woman took her son to see Mahatma Gandi, who asked what she wanted. "I'd like you to get him to stop eating, " she replied.
"Bring the boy back in two weeks' time," replied Gandi.
Two weeks later the woman returned with her son. Gandi turned to the boy and said, "Stop eating sugar."
The woman looked surprised and asked, "Why did I have to wait two weeks for you to say that?"
Two weeks ago I was eating sugar, " Gandi replied.

from: NLP At Work - Sue Knight

You Are A Genius

2008-05-15T09:00:00.002+01:00

The Genius Movie

The State of The Union - The Union of The States

2008-05-05T09:00:00.000+01:00

The United States of Resource

We spoke recently about the fact that one of the main presuppositions of NLP is that within us, we all have the resources that we need to be successful in anything that we want to do. Owen Fitzpatrick, in his book 'Conversations - Freedom is Everything & Love is All the Rest', suggests that there are eight different resource states, and that if we can master getting into those states we can be more effective, more quickly and more often. Three of the states are referred to as input states and the other five as output states. The input states allow us to successfully take in information and learn from the world, whereas the output states help us to effectively act and behave in the the world.

Input States

Awareness - Pay attention to what is happening in the world and get an insight to what is happening in your head.

Openness - Be open to new ideas, new experiences, new learning.

Curiosity - Always ask questions and wonder about things.

Output States

Flexibility - The more flexible you are, the more choices you have. It is this that gives you more ability to deal with the situations that you are in.

Perseverance -Never give up, see failure as a way forward.

Pragmatism - What is the most useful thing that you can do right now?

Responsibility - Be accountable for what is happening in situations and use and improve on your ability to respond.

Creativity - Use your imagination to be more effective in what you do.

Over the coming weeks we will look at these different resource states and discuss what we can do to maximise our ability to really get ourselves into a state!

Make it a great week, it's your choice.

My best
Séamus

Owen Fitzpatrick is one of the co-founders of The Irish Institute of NLP. They offer a variety of courses and training in NLP.

How To 'Make It' As A Teacher or What Do Teachers Make?

2008-04-28T09:00:00.000+01:00

This pretty much speaks for itself really!

Survey on Support & Development Structures in Teaching

2008-04-21T09:00:00.008+01:00

Hi everyone,

I would also like to take this opportunity to let you know about a surevy I am undertaking around support and development structures in teaching.

The survey is short and can be taken online at www.teachersupportsurvey.useyouredge.com I would appreciate any comments and feedback that you would be kind enough to leave.

Make it a great week, it's your choice.

My best
Séamus

Tiger Woods - Born To Reign

2008-03-03T09:00:00.003Z

Some time ago in a post we spoke about 'The Tiger Woods Effect'.

Here is an extract from a biography of Tiger I came across recently which shows the power of positive affirmations.

Tiger was a kid but not in the traditional sense. When he was only six, he listened to tape recordings with subliminal messages to help him develop a stronger sense of self-control and discipline. Earl (Tiger’s father) had seen them in a store and bought them for his son, carefully explaining why he should listen to them. The boy understood. He played them on a cassette player in his room, hearing only the flow of water down a creek, or soft music, but the messages began to imbue themselves in his sub-conscious.

I will my own destiny.

I believe in me.

I smile at obstacles.

I am firm in my resolve.

I fulfil my resolutions powerfully.

My strength is great.

I stick to it, easily, naturally.

My will moves mountains.

I focus and give it my all.

My decisions are strong.

I do it with all my heart.

These messages were inscribed on paper as well, and he tacked them to the walls of his room as reinforcement. He listened to the tapes so often he wore them out. He began to apply them instantly. He was still only six when he went to the Optimist Junior World ‘ten and under’ division at Presidio Hills in San Diego, his first international tournament. At the first tee, his father reassured him that whether he won or lost was not the point – either way he should have fun. Tiger then ripped his shot down the middle.

Later Earl asked Tiger what he was thinking about as he stood over the ball on the first tee. “Where I wanted the ball to go, Daddy,” he said, shocking his unsuspecting father, who wasn’t sure the subliminal messages would take hold so quickly. The negative thoughts that invade the minds of young, uncertain athletes were not there. Tiger was nervous – even today he acknowledges an uneasy stomach at the first tee – but he suppressed his nervousness by visualising the shot, an instrumental part of professional golfer’s routine.

(John Strege – from Tiger: A Biography of Tiger Woods)

And here is Tiger doing what he does best at the age of two!!

The World's Greatest - Float Like A Butterfly, Sting Like A Bee!

2008-02-04T09:00:00.008Z

It's been a while since we had a post with a 'song for the non-conscious mind'. This time around we have a pretty good song by R. Kelly from the film 'Ali', starring Will Smith. It has been said that we can understand the non-conscious mind to be like a 7-9 year old kid working for our benefit. You may like the song more or less the first time you hear it but the message for the mind is, without doubt, absolutely fantastic. We all have a favourite song or favourite songs and oftentimes, those songs work as anchors and bring back memories or states. What states do you bring to mind with the music and song you actively listen to or have in the background of your daily life?

Songs for the non-conscious mind

Check out the lyrics to 'The World's Greatest' here

and the video here.

A few words from the big man

Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them - a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina, they have to be a little faster, they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill.

Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even.
Muhammad Ali

Sizzle! Sizzle!

2008-01-21T09:00:00.005Z

Everyone likes excitement. When people bubble with personal energy, others enjoy being around them. Business firms like to hire a staff that brings zest to the establishment. Some national restaurant chains, for example, train their staff to form an impromptu ensemble and sing "Happy Birthday: or "Happy Anniversary" to their customers on special occasions. It produces more than noise. People keep coming back.

One restaurant, knowing how people respond to excitement, devised a special plan. When a customer ordered a steak dinner, the chef placed the meal on a hot steel plate. Then, just before the waiter left the kitchen, he would drop an ice cube on the platter.

The waiter was instructed, "Walk slowly to the table. We want everyone to hear the sound of that hot platter." It wasn't the steak that was sizzling, but the ice. The plan worked like instant advertising. If customers were in the process of ordering, they'd hear that sound and choose a steak. The sizzle produced the sale.

Today, think creatively. Ask yourself, "How can I add some excitement to what I plan to deliver?"

by: Neil Eskelin, Source Unknown

Make it a great week, it's your choice.

My best

Séamus

2008 - Your Best Year Yet

2008-01-10T09:00:00.002Z

Make 2008 Your Best Year Yet

Welcome back to Your Best Year Yet. How have you got on with the first set of discovery questions? You will probably have found that they have asked you to think a little differently and that is a good thing. Making change is like flexing and building up your muscles. An element of discomfort is inevitable. It is essential however, if you want to move outside your comfort zone and get get better results in your life. This also involves effective preparation. New Year's resolutions are oftentimes so short-lived, simply because they weren't given enough thought. The real solutions you are planning for need a healthy environment in which to grow and flourish. It's never too late, it's always early enough to begin.

Here is a review of the first set of questions that we looked at in our previous post, All Year Real Solutions.

What did I accomplish in 2007?
What were my biggest disappointments?
What did I learn?
How do I limit myself, and how can I stop?
What are my personal values?

So now, let's move on.

What roles do I play in my life?

This is an important step as it allows you to consider the many aspects of your life and ensures that you include each area in your 2008 plan. You might even have a new role or two that you would like to begin to play. At this point you might also want to refer back to an activity we looked at recently called ‘The Wheel of Life’. This supports you in making sure that you have balance in your life and from there allows you to open up what you plan to have as main focus over the next twelve months. Think of at least one thing that you want to accomplish in each of your roles. You will find it useful to think of yourself as the manager of your own business and that your different roles are different members of staff reporting to you. The other advantage of clarifying your roles is that you can more effectively orientate yourself around your core values. You will want to imagine yourself acting in each of your roles in a way which will demonstrate what is most important to you and in alignment with how you would like to be seen. This will give you the critical momentum you need to make to make telling and decisive changes in your results.

Which role is my major focus for next year?

Before you make some final decisions on this, go back to question five and think again about your personal values. As we said in the last section, it is important to keep these in mind. You will have already seen from your ‘Wheel of Life’ activity where your life might be out of balance and this will help you to decide which role you want to make your major breakthrough in. If you are not sure which one you should focus most on, trust your intuition. You probably do know what role you want to focus on and if you don’t, ask yourself the question ‘If I did know, what role would I choose?’ and see how that works.

What are my goals for each role?

People who clearly articulate their goals achieve more in their life. We spoke in an earlier post about how you can make sure that your goals are more achievable by making sure that they meet the S.M.A.R.T. criteria. Here we are referring to making your goals ..

S – Specific & Simple
M – Measurable & Meaningful to your values
A – Attainable, As If Now & In All Areas of your life
R – Realistic
T – Timed, Tangible & Toward

Plenty of preparation work will be useful here and you can begin by asking yourself the question 'What would I need to achieve in each role for it to be my best year yet?' Once you have finished, review your list of goals and make sure that they are in alignment with any of your values. If you find anything that you feel less committed to, scratch it off your list.

What are my top ten goals for next year?

Before you select your top ten goals again you will find it useful to review your answers so far and remind yourself of what is really important to you. Choose the goals that are most exciting for you. Select the ten that, once you have already begun to achieve them, will make the most difference to you. Prioritise your list, starting with the goals for your major focus and work your way down. Visualise your dreams and dream big.

How will I stay constant and be sure of my success?

So how are you going to make sure that your best year yet doesn't get lost amoung the sometimes crazy world of day to day life. Well surprisingly enough, you have certainly come a long way already. You now have a clear plan and mission statement for yourself. You have exploited time, energy and a lot of motivation to get this far. first of all, stop and congratulate yourself. Then, each month set yourself new Monthly Goals to help keep you on track. Now that you are already in the rhythm, you will find it so much easier to set Weekly Goals to progress to those monthly goals. Consider working with a coach. Remember that coaching will support you in getting the results you want faster and more effectively. You will also want to consider that when assessing your success, focus on your roles and your personal values rather than the individual tasks that you achieve. This will help you to get a panoramic view of how your life is changing.

If you are interested in finding out more about making this Your Best Year Yet, check out the book by Jinny Ditzler. You can order the book from Amazon.co.uk or Amazon.com

Here is a short quote to finish.

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. The people who get on in this world are the people who look for the circumstances they want and if they can't find them, make them.
George Bernard Shaw

Make it a great week and continue making it a great year, it's your choice.

My best

Séamus

Dream Big

2008-01-07T00:16:00.002Z

A Song for the Non-Conscious Mind

This song was sent to me as a gift some time back by a good friend and colleague of mine. It works well with what we were looking at in the post on Michael Flatley last month as well as with your plans for making your new year's resolutions All Year Real Solutions. We will have more on how you can successfully make 2008 your best year yet in our next post.

and when you dream, dream big

as big as the ocean blue

cause when you dream it might come true

so when you dream, dream big

Ryan Shupe & The Rubberband

Dream big and dare to fail.
Norman D. Vaughan

More soon!

Make it a great week, it's your choice.

My best

Séamus

New Year's Resolutions or All Year Real Solutions?

2008-01-03T09:00:00.001Z

Make 2008 Your Best Year Yet

Yes, the new year is here. 2008, a leap year, designated the United Nations International Year of Planet Earth and "European Year of Intercultural Dialogue" by the European Parliament. 2008 promises a host of interesting events including, the Expo in Zaragoza, Spain, Presidential elections in the US, Russia and China, general elections in Spain and New Zealand, the UEFA Euro 2008 football championship in Austria & Switzerland, the summer Olympics in Beijing, China and much much more.

It is especially at this time of the year when people think about how they plan their life to be different and make their New Year's Resolutions. Funny that, they way we call them 'New Year's Resolutions', because that's often how long they last, a couple of weeks and if you are lucky, until the end of January. Well, what do you expect? I mean they are only New Year's Resolutions after all. So, what we need then are All Year Resolutions? Well, not quite. When you think about it, a resolution is only a re-solution, a repeated solution to an familiar problem or issue. How often do you find yourself with the same resolutions every new year? Therefore, what you will want to find are real solutions, those strategies and techniques that can support you in reaching your goals and making 2008 your best year yet.

To help with that we are going to look at a series of questions that you can ask yourself to enable you to clarify and achieve what you want to most focus on for 2008. These initial questions will allow you to build a solid foundation for you to move forward.

What did I accomplish in 2007?

Before you look ahead and decide how you want to make the most of this new year, you will find it useful to look back and remember the good news from last year. Remember where you were this time last year, give yourself some appreciation and focus on your successes. You can also take the question forward and as you go through 2008 use it on and get into the habit creating a track record of the things that go well for you.

What were my biggest disappointments?

This is an important step. Here you make the opportunity to tell yourself the truth about what didn't work for you and let it go. Once you bring it to the surface and get it all down, the failures and negativity lose their value. This allows you to travel forward without any excess baggage. It more effective to a good friend to your successes than to be seduced by your failures.

What did I learn?

Here you have the opportunity to focus on the learnings you made over the last year. When things didn't go so well for you, what did you take from those situations. Write the lessons down for yourself as simple rules, reminders or instructions. Maybe you learnt some new skills and abilities. If so, make a list of them. Also, when you think of the things that went well for you, ask yourself questions such as

How exactly did I do that?
What was the secret of my success in that situation?

Based on all that you have observed, what tips and advice would you pass on to your family and friends?

How do I limit myself, and how can I stop?

This can be quite a challenging area to focus on, but you will find it useful and it will prove to be a key area in your road map to success this year. Think about the areas that you are not getting results in and begin to figure out how you are limiting yourself. What roadblocks are you putting in your own way? What do you hear yourself saying to explain away your failures? What is it that you can't see that maybe others can see from the outside? How can you recycle your can'ts into cans? Remember that your thoughts and feelings help to shape your results and just imagine how really different 2008 will be once you change your negative paradigms into positive statements of possibility.

What are my personal values?

An important element of success is being congruent in how we think and act. Reflecting on this question and becoming more conscious of what is most important to you, will allow you to empower yourself to make real changes in your life. Once your goals and plans reflect your personal values, these values will act as strong and vibrant motivators as you work to get improvements in your behaviour and performance. So again, make yourself a short list and remind yourself of what really matters most to you.

In the second part of this task and in the next post we will look in more detail at where you want to be this time next year and what you will already have achieved by the end of what you plan to be your best year yet.

Make it a great week and begin to make it a great year, it's your choice.

My best

Séamus

New Gold Dream

2007-12-27T09:00:00.005Z

Recently we spoke about how beliefs and values were important in modelling success and saw Michael Flatley from Lord of the Dance talking about what it means for him to prepare for and deliver excellent performance. Here is another interesting video where he talks about how he started dreaming up his success at the age of six.

Some men see things as they are and say, "Why?" I dream of things that never were and say, "Why not?"
George Bernard Shaw

A man's dreams are an index to his greatness
Zadok Rabinowitz

To dream anything that you want to dream. That's the beauty of the human mind. To do anything that you want to do. That is the strength of the human will. To trust yourself to test your limits. That is the courage to succeed.
Bernard Edmonds

Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success but significance - and then even the small steps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning.
Oprah Winfrey

The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep and awake, when you don't know the difference between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul that the dream is reality, and it really happened.
Anonymous

Up On The Catwalk

2007-12-17T09:00:00.001Z

Somebody who can copy can do. Leonardo de Vinci.

Modelling is the process of observing and mapping the successful behaviours of other people in order to apply them to ourselves and others. It is a very effective way to achieve your goals and it allows you to copy or 'model' the people who can do what you would like to do or those who have the skills, strategies and tactics that you would like to have. There are endless things that you can model and if you want to be a great parent, a better golfer, more confident at presentations, stay in good health etc., find out exactly what it is that the best people and the experts do. Once you know that, you can imitate or model them to help you get similar results.

There are a number of key elements involved in modelling. The first element is physiology. This focuses on the typical behaviours that a person engages in when they do what they do well. The second area to consider is the person's beliefs and values. The final area are the strategies that people have for doing things. These refer to the order and sequence of what each person does inside their head when they do something and they usually consist of making internal pictures, hearing internal sounds or voices (oftentimes talking to yourself) and checking how they feel in some regular sequence. Some of these strategies are conscious but many of them are non-conscious. If you want to model the rugby kicking skills of a Johnny Wilkinson or Ronan O' Gara, then you will obviously pay more attention to the area of physiology. On the other hand, if your goal is to model the great sales people, you will probably concentrate more on the strategies that they use when they are in the process. Modelling therefore, will first of all mean paying close attention to what is happening.

So what kinds of things will you want to focus on when you are observing a person's typical behaviours or physiology? Here is an example of some questions that you can ask yourself if, let's say for example, you want to observe a person's presentation skills.

How are they standing, sitting or moving?
How do they carry themselves?
How close are they to their audience?
What facial expressions do they use?
How do they make eye contact?
How do they use gestures?

What kind of gestures do they make?
How big are they?
Do they move their hands a lot?
How often do they move them?

In what way do they speak?

How fast/loudly do they speak?
Do you notice anything about the rhythm of their speech?
What do you notice about their intonation?
How are they breathing?
Do they make any noises that are not actually words?

Do they touch anything?

What?
How?
Where?

How are they using their visual aids?
Is there any language that they typically use that helps them to be effective?
How are they dressed?
How do they deal with questions?
What other things do you notice?

On the other hand, you will also want to take into consideration a person's beliefs and values. Here is a short video of Michael Flatley from Lord of the Dance talking about what it means for him to prepare for and deliver excellent performance.

One of the pioneers of NLP, Robert Dilts, did a study of the healing patterns of Jesus Christ and with the information that was available from the Biblical sources, saw a pattern of strategies that Jesus would typically use. It appears that when Jesus was doing his healing, there were certain consistencies that happened in the order and sequence of things that he stepped through. Jesus would first of all touch the person (something that the other healers of the day did not do), he would then look up and finally he would sigh and the person would be healed. When you look at successful people in business such as Richard Branson you will also find that they tend to have quite clearly defined strategies that they use to get their consistent results.

So now it's your turn to get up on the catwalk!

Make it a great week, it's your choice.

My best

Séamus

A Very Convenient Truth

2007-12-10T09:00:00.002Z

Rediscovering the Greatest Source of Renewable Energy

Richard Bandler and John Grinder based their discovery of NLP on the process of modelling. They studied excellent communicators and looked to find what those people did that made them outstanding in their field. At the very heart of NLP is the idea that if one person can do something, then so too can anyone else. It’s just a question of working out exactly what it is that the person does and applying the strategies and skills to ourselves. It is useful at this point, to make the important distinction between resources and skills. We don’t necessarily immediately have the skills to run a marathon in under two and a half hours or pilot a commercial airplane but we do know that we have the ability to learn. Of course, we will need to acquire the practical skills first and work on them until we can do it too.

Furthermore, one of NLP’s basic presuppositions is that we all have the resources that we need within us. We don’t always realise this or make good use of these resources, but they are there.

So what are some of the practical implications of this?

How can we begin to quantify the renewable resources that we have within us?

What can we do with these resources in the times of challenge and climate change in our daily lives?

Well here goes, so how ready are you for a roller-coaster ride?

Start by making a ‘Strengths Inventory’

Make a list of all of the things that you are good at. Keep going until you have filled three pages with bullet points. You have to be honest and some exaggeration is only to be expected! Include the things that are really easy for you and that you take for granted. Maybe you always remember people’s birthdays or you are great at recycling or you can always get the video or DVD working, or you are good at always going to see your favourite football team, no matter what the weather.
When you get stuck for ideas towards the end of the third page, think back to all the things that you have learnt to do over the years. Add those to your list.
Look at your list again and add what you think your Mum or Dad, your partner, your kids or your best friend would say about you.

Think about your work situation. What value do you bring to your workplace?

Again make a list and keep going until you get enough. Yes of course, it is all too easy to be aware of your weaknesses, so try something different. Decide to focus on your strengths for a change.

Now think about exactly how you do what you do well and make a list.

This is the key stage. Here you will find all of the skills and strategies that make you successful at what you do.

How exactly do you find it easy to tell great jokes?
What is it that you do that makes you a great Dad?
How exactly do you get your team 100% behind you on an important project?
What is it that makes you a good tennis player?
What techniques to do you use when you do your best presentation or negotiation?
What is it that you do and do well, so that you get to the end of the month and have that something extra to put into the bank?
If you had to explain to someone what to do to take over from you as your friends’ best friend, what would you say to them?

Think about what it is that you do when things aren’t going right for you in those situations and how specifically you get things back on track.

What strategies do you use to motivate yourself when you are having a less than successful day?
When you do you do when you meet a stumbling block?

Now take all that you have learnt about yourself and see how you can use your strengths in other contexts.

How can you use some of these same strategies in other areas of your life where you are not so successful?
What can you copy or repeat from another context and use here to get a different and better result?

Think of one situation in particular that you are having a challenge with and that you would like to get a better outcome with.

This could be in any area of your life, personal or professional.

Transfer the skills across and see how things look.

Imagine yourself dealing with that challenge but using all the skills and resources that you have from your lists.

To what extent do you now notice that this previous challenge or situation now feels a somewhat different?
How do you see yourself moving on from here?
What steps are you now ready to take?

Have fun playing with the activity.

Make it a great week, it's your choice.

My best

Séamus

How To be A Highly Effective Teacher - NLP for Teachers

2007-12-03T09:00:00.006Z

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is an established set of principles for teaching, learning and personal development. It brings with it a range of methods and models and offers new understandings into how people think, behave, learn and change.

NLP for Teachers is certainly a book that many people have been waiting for and a great resource for all in the field of education. It contains a wealth of information on NLP, including the essential background to the most important tools and techniques.

One of the main strengths of the book is that it is directly aimed at classroom practice. As such, it is jam-packed with excellent advice and useful strategies as well as motivating and practical ideas. There is a bank of tips, Just Do It activities and a wide variety of NLP Toolboxes, all of which have immediate application to day to day classroom situations.

A small example of the areas and topics covered include

The Presuppositions of NLP & The Study of Excellence
How to plan successful lessons from inside out and reach your outcomes
Using sensory preferences in language
Building Rapport & Developing Effective Relationships in the Classroom
How to be elegant in your use of language to influence others and affect change
How to use body language to manage your learners
How to see the world differently and increase your success
Anchoring – Harnessing the resources within yourself and your environment
How who you are affects what you do – Working out your values hierarchy
The art of questioning and conversational belief change
The skill of being artfully vague and using language to get what you want
How to keep motivation on target

A regular feature of the book is the Jargon Buster which helps to clarify some of the concepts behind NLP and make its value all the more obvious and relevant.

As you work through the chapters, try out the activities and become more comfortable with the principles, presuppositions and skills of NLP, you will find that you become a better and more effective teacher, not only in terms of what you do, but also in terms of who you are both inside and outside the classroom.

Also particularly useful are the short Resource Zones, which add academic depth to the chapters and cover a wide variety of areas such as mirror neurons, hypnosis, emotional intelligence, eye movements and much more. Written in simple and easily accessible language, they reference work from other fields relevant to NLP and also include an extremely useful and detailed list of sources for further research and study.

In addition, the book also includes an Instant NLP Training Day, which includes a number of mini-training sessions and useful advice on how to bring the learning back into your own context.

Overall, NLP for Teachers really is a very useful book. It is an excellent balance of practical ideas and theoretical insight and an essential resource for those in the educational sector interested in being the difference that makes the difference.

Click below to buy the book from Amazon.

NLP for Teachers - Amazon UK

NLP for Teachers - Amazon US

My best

Séamus

For more information on how NLP can support teachers and help you develop effective classroom practice, visit our website at http://www.useyouredge.com/nlpineducation.html

Holding Your Own Peace Summit!

2007-11-12T09:00:00.002Z

Holding Your Own Peace Summit Meeting & Being Your Own Mediator

It's oftentimes easy for us to forget that not everyone sees the world like we do. Therefore, to understand a situation fully we really do need to look at it from a series of different perspectives. One point of view will only give one dimension, an incomplete picture of the whole. Good communicators appear to have the flexibility to shift easily from one position to another as appropriate. They understand all positions as useful and it is this that allows them to build better understandings. So, remember that effective negotiation is impossible without an appreciation of the conflictive views.

Let's look at an activity which will help you to develop this strength. This activity uses your visual, auditory and kinaesthetic senses and so needs sufficient space in which to move around. Think of a situation that is live for you now and that is not as good as it needs to be – one in which you would like to improve your relationship with the other person. This could be a learner, a colleague, friend or a member of your family.

1. Choose a position in the room to place a sheet of paper down on the ground and then stand on it. This is your First Position and as such it represents the true ‘here and now’ for you. Think about yourself, the other person and the issue.

· Notice what you can see in your mind’s eye, what you can hear and what you feel inside.

2. Look across to another position in the room and imagine that you and the other person are sitting there facing each other. When you are in this situation you are in Second Position.

· How are those two people relating to each other from that position?

· Step off the sheet of paper and let go of the first position by shaking your arms and body.

3. Take two more sheets of paper and place them in the Second Position to represent the chairs for the two people (say A and B). When you are ready, step onto the sheet that represents second position A. Take a little time and experience being A. Look at B from this position …. and then back to yourself at First Position.

· Ask yourself what is important to me, A, here in this position?

· Step off the sheet and let go of second position A by shaking your arms and body again.

4. Step onto the sheet that is Second Position B. Take a little time and experience/imagine being B this time. Look at A from this position …. and then back to yourself at first position.

· Ask yourself what is important to me, B, here in this position?

· What is really not being dealt with here?

· Step off the sheet and let go of second position B by shaking your arms and body again.

5. Now find another place in the room with a wider perspective, from which you can see all three pieces of paper. This is the Third Position. Step into it.

Ask yourself the following questions.

· What do I notice about the relationship and interactions between the others?

· What resources are needed here to change things?

· What could I bring to the situation?

· What do I notice that I didn’t notice before?

6. Take the answers back with you to first position. Step onto the sheet and from this first position, with all of this new information and new resources, take a look at the two people in A and B.

· Notice what has changed, anything that is different.

Taken from

Making Your Words Work - Using NLP to Improve Communication, Learning & Behaviour - Terry Mahony

Start Making Sense!

2007-10-22T09:00:00.001+01:00

Sensory Language

We experience the world through our five senses or what are called representational systems in NLP. Using our thought processes we recreate these experiences to ourselves internally. The five systems are called VAKOG for short - Visual, Auditory, Kinaesthetic, Olfactory and Gustatory. There are some subdivisions with the the systems. Auditory includes hearing words and sounds as well as the internal dialogue we have with ourselves (called Auditory Digital). Kinaesthetic includes bodily feelings, touch and emotions.

The language that we use can often give us a clue about how we like to think and interpret the world. Most of us seem to express a preference for one or possibly two of the representational systems. This whole area of VAKOG gives rise to a lot of very interesting language based on the senses. Words that link to a particular representational system are called 'predicates' in NLP. As you listen to other people's language or 'predicates', you will soon begin to notice what these preferences are.

Noticing the sensory language that other people use and matching them be a very powerful way of gaining rapport, communicating sensitively and being influential. Let's say you are discussing a new project with a colleague and as you work to get point across, you want to check that the other person understands. You might decide to use one of the following linguistic options based on what you have seen/heard/picked up!

What I want to share with you will get you closer to that vision you have for you and you team, can you see what I'm saying?
This will help to get your team singing from the same page. Does it sound like we are talking the same language?
I think this idea will raise the bar and really knock you over. Are you really catching where we can go with this?

Explore, play, give it a go and see what happens.

Here are some examples of a variety of sensory language.

Visual	Auditory	Kinaesthetic	Gustatory	Olfactory
It appears that ….	The place was buzzing.	I can’t put my finger on it.	It’s a piece of cake.	To sniff something out
It's her blind spot.	It’s all Greek to me.	To cover the same ground.	It was a bitter pill to swallow.	It all smells a bit fishy.
Get a bird’s eye view!	I hear you loud and clear.	Seize the moment.	He's got a taste for the good life.	He has a nose for business.
Let’s look closely at this issue.	I’m all ears!	To meet someone halfway.	He had to eat humble pie.	The sweet smell of success.
She’s a sight for sore eyes.	That strikes a cord.	I can feel it in my bones.	She is such a sweet person.	That's a fresh idea!
His view is a bit coloured.	That was unheard of!	Tread carefully.	It's a matter of taste	I smell a rat.
Turn a blind eye.	That’s music to my ears.	She pushes his buttons.	Let's chew it over.	The relationship went stale.

My best

Séamus

Making Your Words Work

2007-10-15T09:00:00.005+01:00

"Words differently arranged have a different meaning and meanings differently arranged have a different effect."
Blaise Pascal

“Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill.”
Budda

"Proper words in proper places, make the true definition of style."
Jonathan Swift

Making Your Words Work - Using NLP to Improve Communication, Learning & Behaviour
Terry Mahony

One of the few books to focus on the application of language models for classroom management, 'Making Your Words Work' offers a large repertoire of linguistic approaches to improve communication between teacher and learner.

The book is divided into four parts.

Part 1 focuses on the so what? of the book and contains the ideas and concepts underpinning NLP as well as recent thinking in brain research applied in the classroom.
Part 2 explores the for what? or the why you will want to read and learn about these ideas and explores the implications they may have for your learners' and behaviour.
Part 3 covers the how do I do it? and the different techniques and how they are used to gain different goals with the same outcome - better behaviour.
Part 4 concerns the what next? and what you can do with the techniques in different situations.

'Making Your Words Word' certainly provides teachers with a good balance of theory and practice and will certainly support them in the development of the skills and strategies needed to move their teaching from ordinary to highly effective and from there on to extraordinary.

Buy the book from Amazon using the links below.

'Making Your Words Work' - Amazon UK

'Making Your Words Work' - Amazon US

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
Anonymous