Absolute Cracker

Peter Taylor Sacked; Neil Warnock In?

2007-10-08T19:29:00.000-04:00

Hiatus is still on, but it's worth noting that Crystal Palace manager Peter Taylor has been sacked by Simon Jordan. Two wins by October 8th and a 19th-place spot ain't doin' it.

Still, I think Taylor is a good guy, he's been a gentleman about the ouster, and overall a Palace legend given his playing days at Selhurst Park.

Good luck to Taylor--but...who is going to take his place? Neil Warnock?

Hiatus

2007-09-08T16:59:00.000-04:00

Absolute Cracker is going on hiatus for the time being. Please check out Arsenal news at the Arsenal Offside.

Finally...come on you Palace!

Scowcroft Stars as Crystal Palace beat Southampton 4-1

2007-08-11T14:22:00.000-04:00

Striker James Scowcroft supplied a sweet hat trick as Crystal Palace snatched the three points at Southampton to open the season on a sweet note. With Clinton Morrison pitching in a goal, the final scoreline was 4-1 at the Saints' expense.

And in case you were wondering, yes, the Southampton defense was atrocious.

Andy John Returns to Selhurst Park

2007-08-05T08:51:00.000-04:00

Eagles legend Andy Johnson and his Everton teammates breezed into South London yesterday, but neither side could score as the preseason friendly ended 0-0.

All in all, you have to think that Crystal Palace's preseason unbeaten run should portend good things for the upcoming Championship season.

Preseason Updates

2007-07-31T20:08:00.000-04:00

Crystal Palace drew with Belgian club Anderlict 1-1, after defeating Oddevold 4-1. In the latter match, Clinton Morrison notably made his return from injury with a nice tally.

Some Preseason Results

2007-07-24T18:24:00.000-04:00

Crystal Palace have been doing the usual preseason friendly dippity-do. Most recently, the Eagles defeated IFK Gothenburg 2-1 in a match played in Sweden. Next up is another Swedish side, IK Oddevold on Friday.

Previously, Palace defeated Barnet 3-2 and Dartford 3-0.

It's been a pretty good run for th Eagles this preseason, but you know what a good preseason means.*

*Fuck all.

Crystal Palace Squad Numbers Announced

2007-07-17T12:47:00.000-04:00

Here they are folks, the 2007-2008 shirt numbers for CPFC. Also, note that the Eagles will be facing Aldershot Town in a friendly today. Update: Eagles 2-0 Shots.

1. Scott Flinders
2. Matt Lawrence
3. Tony Craig
5. Mark Hudson
6. Leon Cort
7. Carl Fletcher
8. James Scowcroft
9. Dougie Freedman
10. Clinton Morrison
11. Paul Ifill
12. Julian Speroni
14. Ben Watson
15. Mark Kennedy
19. Tom Soares
20. Danny Butterfield
21. David Martin
24. Jeff Hughes
25. Stuart Green
31. Arron Fray
32. Shefki Kuqi
33. Lewis Grabban
35. Rhoys Wiggins
36. Lewwis Spence
37. Charlie Sheringham
38. David Wilkinson
39. James Dayton
40. Ryan Hall
41. Moses SwaiBu
42. Ben Kudjodji

Who's Your Daddy?

2007-07-16T07:52:00.000-04:00

As noted over at The Offside, with Colchester's signing of Teddy Sheringham, the Father v. Son subplot could be a reality this season in the Championship.

Assuming of course that Charlie gets some time with the first team.

Palace Capture Tony Craig

2007-06-29T19:07:00.000-04:00

Somewhere in South London tonight, Tony Craig is thanking his and our lucky stars, as he's been plucked from dreadful Millwall to play at Selhurst Park.

Although I share in the realism, I'm a little miffed as to why his first proclamation would be low-shooting: “Hopefully we're looking to get in the play-offs and go up so we all want a good season for the club.”

Well, I know what he means. Let's hope he can help shore up the defence next season.

Third-Anniversary Post

2007-06-22T17:21:00.000-04:00

I was going to mention that Dougie Freedman re-signed with the club (yay!), or that Iain Dowie has to pay the legal expenses in the Simon Jordan suit (d'oh!), but instead let's all just bask in the three years Absolute Cracker has been up and at 'em.

/basking/

Crystal Palace USA Continues Unbeaten Run

2007-06-20T07:41:00.000-04:00

Indeed, I'd say it's the best run in the club's entire history. It's also cool that Charlie Sheringham has played such a vital role in the 5-match unbeaten streak.

Crystal Palace Fixtures List

2007-06-14T16:03:00.001-04:00

Crystal Palace will open the 2007-2008 Championship campaign at Southampton on August 11. It will of course be a tough early test.

The first home match at Selhurst Park will be in the very next weekend, as the Eagles host Leicester.

I've been looking here but I don't see Millwall on the fixture list. Gotta be here somewhere....

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Big Victory for Simon Jordan

2007-06-14T15:56:00.000-04:00

Crystal Palace boss Simon Jordan has won his case against Iain Dowie after a High Court ruled that the former Eagles manager deceived CPFC by saying that he wanted out of his contract so that he could be nearer his family. You'll recall that despite that plea, Dowie resurfaced a couple of days later as the manager of Charlton Athletic.

Of course, he was sacked from Clowntown shortly thereafter now, wasn't he?

Damages will be sorted out at a later date.

I've sort of always thought this was a personal thing for Jordan, and so it doesn't move me much either way. Although this is the part of the post where I recall that I was present for Dowie's first match in charge (a loss to Millwall, bleh).

Jose Mourinho: 'I'll Coach Crystal Palace'

2007-06-05T16:56:00.000-04:00

Apparently The Special One loves him some London life, and would rather move to SE25 rather than miss the Olympics in 2012. Which would even include trolling the touchline at Selhurst Park.

Heh.

Absolute Cracker's 400th Post

2007-05-30T16:04:00.000-04:00

This is it--AbCrack's long-awaited* 400th post. The first one, which can be found here, was published on June 22, 2004. That's not a scorching rate, to be sure, but the New York Times recently labeled Absolute Cracker the "finest Crystal Palace FC Web site in the world". (Link not available).

AbCrack's first live Palace match had also been Iain Dowie's first at the helm. Sir Iain has moved on (you may have heard) but AbCrack endures. Unfortch, Mrs. AbCrack and I had to watch the Eagles go down to Millwall that fine December Boxing Day during Dowie's debut. The good news is, I don't think Millwall has won a match since.**

In other news, Crystal Palace USA finally won its first ever match on May 19 against ~~AC Milan~~ the Wilmington Hammerheads. Goals from Sergio Flores, Andrew Herman and Josh Alcala was enough the the 3-0 win. Lil' Charlie Sheringham had a hand in that last one. CPFC USA is now 1-4-1 on the season.

*Not really, not even close
**Not really, but close

Congrats to Leon Cort: CPFC PoY!

2007-05-21T17:12:00.001-04:00

Leon Cort has been named the Crystal Palace Player of the Year. Cort, whose eight goals were second most on the club, was signed from Hull last season.

Congrats!

Exit, Sweatpants

2007-05-09T08:10:00.000-04:00

The goalkeeper signed away from Hertha Berlin in 2004 by Iain Dowie, the sweatpanted Gabor Kiraly, has been let go by Crystal Palace.

The Hungarian international has hinted that he'd like to stay in England.

Kiraly made 111 appearances for Palace. God luck, Gabor.

Colchester 0-2 Crystal Palace

2007-05-06T10:58:00.000-04:00

A nice 2-0 win to end the season for Palace. James Scowcroft and Ben Watson did the honors for Palace.

With the loss, Colchester's slim promotion hopes were officially dashed.

Charlie Sheringham Breaks His American Duck

2007-05-02T07:08:00.000-04:00

Of course, the images conjured by such a headline are considerably less pedestrian than the simple fact of CPFC's on-loan striker Charlie Sheringham scoring his first Stateside goal. The inaugural notch came in a friendly draw that Crystal Palace USA had with Loyola College this past weekend.

In other non-first-team news, the Palace reserves lost their last match of the season, 3-5 to QPR.

Crystal Palace 2-0 Derby County

2007-04-29T19:09:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Mark Kennedy and the in-form Clinton Morrison, Palace have made sure that Derby won't automatically be in the English Premiership next season.

Instead, Sunderland and Birmingham will each return to the Prem come August. Derby will take its chances in the playoffs against three of the following: West Brom, Wolves, Southampton, Stoke City and Preston North End.

Palace and Millwall will go another season without playing a league match. Of course, thanks to Leeds' showing this season, Palace probably won't even face former Lion Dennis Wise next year either.

Crystal Palace USA Fall in First-Ever Match

2007-04-26T16:48:00.000-04:00

Palace's American iteration fell 1-4 to the Charlotte Eagles.

It was the worst loss in team history.

Charlie Sheringham came on in the 52nd minute, and hit the post twice in succession for the visitors.

Palace Draw with 10-Man Wolves

2007-04-14T16:28:00.000-04:00

Wolverhampton Wanderers made a trip to SE25 today and left with a point despite being down a man for most of the match. Call it 2-2, with CPFC goals from Mark Hudson and Jobi McAnuff.

Good to see Jobi back at it. Should be good news for next year. But at this point, 'next year' is about all we have to hang out hats on.

Nice Win for Palace

2007-04-10T11:30:00.000-04:00

Crystal Palace notched a comfortable 3-0 win over Preston.

Nice to see Shefki Kuqi back with a brace!

Ah, but...

right back down with a defeat away to Stoke. And Peter Taylor is not happy with the boys.

Crystal Palace 1-2 Sheffield Wednesday

2007-04-03T20:36:00.000-04:00

The season continues its drift to a dismal end as Palace lose their eighth (!) home match of the season. Clinton Morrison scored Palace's lone goal.

So much for Family Fun Day at Selhurst Park.

Lamented C-mo:

"I'm disappointed because I don't want to keep playing football in this division. No disrespect to the Championship, but the best place to play football is the Premiership. That's where I and the rest of the lads want to be, but we've no chance of doing that now. I've a year left on my contract and I want to stay here and do well for Palace. I want to take this club into the Premiership where it deserves to be. We've still got to play a lot of the top teams and I bet we give them a good game, but we are just too inconsistent. I was pleased to score but I'm more disappointed with the fact we're not going anywhere this season."

Congrats to Andy Johnson

2007-03-24T21:30:00.000-04:00

Former Crystal Palace legend Andy Johnson got his first competitive start for England tonight as the Three Lions visited Israel for Euro 2008 qualifying. The current Everton striker showed a great work rate, but did not tally a goal. The match ended 0-0.

In fact, England were again dismal, and their qualifying hopes need a bit of a boost at this point.

And the questions surrounding Steve McClaren persist.