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Fresh Prince of Gotham

2008-07-26T09:14:00.000-07:00

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Bride Catches Fire

2008-07-26T09:12:00.000-07:00

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A Possible Cure for BlackBerry Thumbs

2008-07-25T18:25:00.001-07:00

If your thumbs ache after hours of texting and gaming, a new gadget may be able to whip your digits back into shape. The Xtensor "exercise device" helps geeks strengthen their wrists and hands or rehabilitate injuries, reports Laptop Magazine, but reviewer Joanna Stern acknowledges that she hasn't had the $39.95 device long enough to report on whether it works as intended.

"It was just too good to resist," Stern writes of the manufacturer's pitch.

US Jalapeños Are A-OK: FDA

2008-07-25T18:23:00.000-07:00

Only jalapeño peppers grown in Mexico seem to be implicated in the nationwide salmonella outbreak, the FDA said today in clearing the US crop. Consumers should avoid raw Mexican jalapenos, the serrano peppers often confused with them, and dishes made with them such as fresh salsa, the agency said. But how consumers would know where they from is unclear.

"You're going to have to ask the person you're buying it from," said the FDA's food safety chief, who is advising restaurants and grocery stores to know their suppliers. "Domestically grown products are not tracing back at all to the outbreak." Chiles are a $500 million crop just in New Mexico, which produces most of the US supply.

75 Things Every Man Should Do Before He Dies

2008-07-24T10:59:00.001-07:00

On Esquire's 75th anniversary, the quintessential men's mag recommends 75 things every man should do before he dies. A smattering:

Eat wild game you killed, dressed, and cooked yourself.
Acknowledge the accomplishments of others
Make an omelet
Fast for three days, consuming only water
Play a game of rugby
Drink Mescal, where it should be drank: in Mexico
Make a movie
Live outside the US
Have group sex
Make a list of 75 things to do before you die

France Bids Adieu to 35-Hour Work Week

2008-07-24T10:57:00.000-07:00

The French parliament has passed landmark legislation eliminating the 35-hour cap on the work week, Reuters reports. President Nicolas Sarkozy has long blamed the short week for France's economic struggles. Most employees work longer, but accumulate overtime pay or vacation days for the extra hours. Tens of thousands of French workers demonstrated against the reform last month.

"Companies will at last be able to operate a management policy based on a secure legal framework," said a ruling party lawmaker. "It's a remarkable advance for the economy." But critics charge the economy could suffer a blow from the loss of consumer purchasing power currently earned from overtime work, and that the change will substitute longer hours for job creation.

Golden Girls - The Best of Estelle Getty

2008-07-23T19:38:00.000-07:00

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Spoiler Cubs Fan Offered $25K for Autograph

2008-07-23T19:37:00.001-07:00

Will Steve Bartman—the fan blamed for costing the long-suffering Chicago Cubs a trip to the 2003 World Series—come out of hiding for $25,000? A pair of sports memorabilia outfits are offering the bounty, the Orlando Sentinel reports, if Bartman shows up at a July 31 convention in suburban Chicago and autographs a single copy of a photo showing him reaching for a key foul ball.

"No one in sports memorabilia history has ever been paid $25,000 to sign one autograph—not Michael Jordan, Muhammad Ali, Joe DiMaggio, Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, or any other athlete,” said a convention official. "Steve Bartman has been a recluse for years, but we’re hopeful that he will accept our invitation and generous offer to appear. ... We have personal security to provide to Steve at [the convention] and to a destination of his choosing.”

Comedy Legend Skewers Left in Slapstick Carol

2008-07-23T19:35:00.000-07:00

They're calling it “a spoof of A Christmas Carol and contemporary American culture,” from the director that brought you Naked Gun and Airplane! But what the press release doesn't say is that the director is David Zucker, a self-proclaimed “9/11 Republican,” and that American Carol is a brazenly right-wing send-up of Michael Moore as an America-hating Scrooge, to be converted by the ghosts of presidents past.

Zucker has deployed a cast of Hollywood's GOP A-listers, including Kelsey Grammer, Jon Voight, Dennis Hopper, and Zucker stalwart Leslie Nielsen. “It outdoes any movie I have ever done in tasteless, offensive, un-PC humor,” says Zucker. The movie is getting advance buzz through the conservative Creative Response Concepts firm, which handled the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth campaign.

Grey Poupon Request Hardly Disarming

2008-07-23T19:27:00.000-07:00

A Utah man got a little testy when passengers in a neighboring car, re-enacting a famous TV spot, gestured for him to roll down his window and asked if he had any Grey Poupon mustard. "Here's your Grey Poupon, roll your [expletive] windows up," said the 22-year-old, who grabbed a handgun and pointed it at them. One of the three got his license plate, and police later charged him with aggravated assault, the Salt Lake Tribune reports.

Laying a Good Foundation for Health

2008-07-22T16:59:00.000-07:00

by: Paula Muran

In the western medicine world, we have lost touch with the basic concept of true healing. We substitute a band-aid for a cure and wonder why we don't feel better. People get ill for many reasons. Each diseased state tells us that we are ignoring some part of self, and change is necessary. While many factors contribute to healing, and it happens on many levels, all require attention throughout the entire healing practice. Ignoring the body-mind (emotions and thoughts) would not provide adequate and long-term good health.

Physical symptoms like headaches, swollen glands, sneezing and colds, including more serious diseases like cancer, communicate that there is a disturbance in the emotional fabric of our being. Negative emotions like fear, doubt and worry stop the normal flow of energy. These emotions undermine us, and over the course of our lives cause unexplained and crippling diseases that end up controlling us.

The physical body falls apart because we fall apart emotionally. Recent scientific studies have shown that emotions sabotage everything—from simple success to kidney failure. When we don't care for the "whole self," the physical body simply mirrors those effects. Over the course of time, emotions like fear, anger and confusion take their toll. Repressed anger diminishes the functions of the liver. Hopelessness and despair play havoc with the gall bladder. Fear plays havoc with the kidneys, relationships and success. Confusion on the other hand, keeps whirling thoughts spinning, creating a cloud of chaos around us and we become imbalanced and ungrounded. Head colds for instance, are a direct result of emotional confusion. Long-standing negative emotional beliefs deteriorate the entire physical being. A constant string of repetitive negative words weaken and actually exhaust the physical body.

To heal we must feel. We must identify the root emotional cause of the disease. This process lays down a new foundation for good health and begins with a new attitude about being healthy. Any negative emotion causes us to stay stuck in a false perception about our self.

How do we identify negative emotions? The easiest way to identify negative patterns is to see them in family members and friends. Examine other people's behaviors. Notice all the things you like about them and all the things you don't like, especially the things that make you angry, envious or jealous. The people around you are actually reflections of you. What you see in another person that bothers you or angers you is a part of yourself that has not yet been loved and healed. Begin by criticizing your dearest friends. By doing this practice of looking at the faults of friends and family you get in touch with the parts of you that are out of balance and seek healing. This simple exercise offers you an opportunity to look deeply at your own emotional concerns and patterns. Once you locate personal limitation it's time for change.

Emotional patterns are created when you place a judgment upon an experience. To change, we must stay conscious of our feelings in situations. Stay calm, make no judgment—simply feel the energy. For example, let's take anger because anger is one of the most profound emotions and is easily felt. Imagine yourself in an angry situation; stay completely present and deeply feel the anger. Don't judge it—simply feel it. Now, love the feeling that anger produces. Anger can be motivation. It can be passionate. Change the negative charge that anger produces; begin to embrace and love the feeling of anger instead of repelling it.

Next begin to dialogue with the anger. Yes, that is correct, strike up a conversation with anger. Ask it questions like, "What are you teaching me?" or "Why am I so angry all the time?" Permit the answers to come into your conscious mind. As they do, you realize what the true issue is. Sometimes in that moment of realization the anger pattern can release. Other times it might take a few more conversations for the anger to release. This method allows the energy constriction caused by anger and other emotions to release. Any blocked energy begins to flow giving the physical body a chance to heal.

Even though healing begins with the emotions, the physical body must be strong enough to support the emotional body.

Supplements: Supplementation is important because food chemicals, pesticides and a hurried lifestyle play havoc on our systems. Take no more than five different supplements daily. I prefer liquids including Green-Magma and other green drinks. If you don't feel immediate results, they are not working.

Water: Only 5% of the American population gets sufficient water each day. Diet drinks, high corn-syrup drinks and coffee do not count towards proper hydration; in fact these drinks cause gastrointestinal inflammation, kidney and liver problems and an acidic environment. To properly hydrate drink at least half of your body weight in purified water by the ounce each day. For example if you weight 150 lbs. you need 75 ounces of purified water daily. Exercise: The number one killer today is a stagnant lymph system caused by a lack of exercise. Take a walk around the block or take a yoga, chi-kung or Pilate's class.

Paula Muran is an awakened Spiritual Teacher, Medical Intuitive/Empath, Author and Speaker and an expert at reading energy. Pioneering the use of gemstones to heal the emotional body, Paula created the Sovereign Light System of Emotional Healing, authored the book Codes of Light—The Power of Our Beliefs, produced and narrated the best selling guided meditation on CD, Purify the Body Temple and leads profound healing journeys around the world. http://www.PaulaMuran.com

Parents Say Knight Too Dark for Kids

2008-07-21T20:05:00.001-07:00

Parents who saw the PG-13 rating attached to The Dark Knight and decided to bring the kids along are walking away, if not dissatisfied, then a little miffed. “I know it's a good movie, but it should have been rated R,” one surprised mother tells USA Today. Another parent was less equivocal. “There has to be a way to tell parents that someone is going to get a pencil in the skull.”

The lack of child-friendliness also worries industry watchers. “This is definitely a comic-book movie for adults,” an observer said. “That's part of what makes it so powerful. But it could also limit the kind of repeat business it can do.” A more knowing parent, who left the kids at home, chided the astonished ones. “Did anyone not know this was a violent movie about a homicidal maniac in makeup?

LA Times Insider Launches Anti-Zell Blog

2008-07-21T20:02:00.001-07:00

Heads continue to roll at the Tribune Company, but one staffer is aiming to prove the pen is mightier than Sam Zell's ax, reports the New York Times, with new blog TellZell.com. The site is airing the gripes of Tribune's disgruntled journalists, and is finding plenty of fodder—from top-level resignations at the LA Times to publishing the unreleased list of employees facing layoffs.

The site is managed by an anonymous insider at the LA Times—he's on the editorial staff, "for now at least"—who goes by the moniker "InkStainedRetch." The Times' media columnist said that the site holds a macabre fascination for the paper's employees. "They are amused, and since there isn’t an official accounting of those involved in the current layoffs, people turn to it to get an update."

Beijing Forces Half of Drivers Off the Road

2008-07-21T19:54:00.001-07:00

Half of Beijing's drivers left their cars at home today and took public transportation on the first workday under new restrictions meant to clear the city's notoriously polluted skies before the Olympics. Under the plan that kicked in yesterday, half of the capital's 3.3 million cars will be removed from city streets each day, alternating odd and even license plates. Those caught driving on days they shouldn't will be fined $14, a pricey penalty even for China's capital.

In most areas, crowds remained surprisingly manageable, perhaps because employers were asked to stagger work schedules, and public institutions opened an hour later than normal. Traffic still snaked along main thoroughfares and highways, but it moved at a steady pace. "Before we would be at a dead standstill," said one taxi driver. "Now it's better." Two new subway lines and an airport rail link were opened over the weekend.

Good News! George Bush May Run For Third Term

2008-07-20T17:41:00.000-07:00

by: Tom Attea

President George Bush, noting the large number of presidential candidates, particularly Democratic ones, is rumored to be thinking of asking for a constitutional exception that would allow him to run for a third term.

“How come so many other people can run for President and I can’t,” he asked, “especially when I’m the one with the experience?”

When recipients of his intimations pointed out that such a run would go counter to the Constitution, he replied, “Certainly we can get around that. Didn’t FDR during World War II? And aren’t we at war now? Frankly, I just can’t see how the country can get along without me.”

The very thought of a third term by Bush has resulted in a dramatic increase in apoplexy among Democrats, with Senator Kennedy stating, “It’s enough to make me consider going back to Martha’s Vineyard forever.”

The only one who seems to look forward to the prospect of a third term by Mr. Bush is Mrs. Bush, who learned a long time ago what it’s like to be married to the decider.
About The Author

Tom Attea, humorist and creator of http://NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing "delightfully funny," "witty," with "good, genuine laughs" and "great humor and ebullience."

Economic Recovery to Take Months: Paulson

2008-07-20T17:37:00.000-07:00

Henry Paulson sought to reassure Americans today that US banking is "sound" despite a growing list of troubled banks, Reuters reports. He also said the economy will stay slow for months, but expressed confidence that Congress will shore up Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac before summer recess. "Congress understands how important these institutions are," he said on Face the Nation.

Dark Knight Tops Spidey's Box-Office Record

2008-07-20T17:32:00.000-07:00

Batman has sent Spidey packing as king of Hollywood's box office superheroes. The Dark Knight took in a record $155.34 million in its first weekend, according to Warner Bros., which released the Batman Begins sequel. That figure topped Hollywood's previous best of $151.1 million, set by Spider-Man 3 in May 2007.

On opening day Friday, The Dark Knight pulled in a record $67.85 million, up nearly $1.5 million from the studio's estimates a day earlier. "We knew it would be big, but we never expected to dominate the marketplace like we did," said a Warner Bros. spokesman. But Spider-Man 3 may have sold more tickets, because the average 2008 admission price is $7.08, up from $6.88 last year.

Man Trades Baby Name for $100 Gas Card

2008-07-18T17:06:00.003-07:00

An Orlando man agreed to name his baby after two local radio hosts in exchange for a gift card worth $100 of gasoline, Reuters reports. The listener will collect the card in December, when his son is born, after producing a birth certificate. He's not the only American susceptible to offers of free gas these days: from brothels to churches, fuel has become a better lure than cash.

At the Shady Lady Ranch in Nevada, repeat customers will get a $50 gas voucher to mitigate the cost of the commute. That's a better deal than at St. Ann's Parish in Massachusetts, where only one lucky parishioner a week gets to go home with a $50 gas card. Want to hit the mother lode? Try giving blood; the American Red Cross will be rewarding one donor with free fuel for a year.

Baby Names

2008-07-18T17:06:00.001-07:00

Airfare to Get More Expensive This Holiday Season

2008-07-18T17:03:00.000-07:00

Get ready—this holiday season is going to boast some of the most expensive airfares ever, USA Today reports. Because of high fuel costs, most airlines have cut back flight schedules; figure about 9% fewer flights in November compared to a year ago. Having constricted supply, expect the airlines to raise prices $50-$200 extra per seat. And don't bank on any late holiday sales.

"Not only are the airlines' prices up, rental car prices are way up, too," says an analyst for BestFares.com. "And the hotels are going to want to make up for the business they're not going to get this fall

Seriously, the World Series

2008-07-17T11:27:00.000-07:00

[Editors Note - Yea, you get Bob twice this week. Be sure to show the appropriate love]

By Bob Rehak

As a Cubs fan, I’m nervous. As a father of two Cubs fans and the husband of one Cubs fan and the owner of a dog who’s a Cubs fan (she better be if she plans on any more walks); I’m downright petrified.

With more than half of the season gone, the Cubs are still in first place, and have a legitimate shot at the playoffs. The playoffs seem inevitable, given the recent acquisition of Rich Harden and the subtraction of all things named Patterson from the roster. What scares me is that everyone else thinks so, too, and is looking past the playoffs, towards the World Series.

Pull back on those reins, Willie Shoemaker. Didn’t all the experts predict a World Series appearance last year once the Cubs won the National League Central? Everyone had them meeting the Phillies in the NLCS, and both teams got booted in the first round of the playoffs. While all signs may point towards another postseason for the Cubs, there are three factors that could delay the trip to the World Series, and none of them involve cute, smelly petting zoo animals:

The Brewers: Sure, Milwaukee acquired a great pitcher in CC “as in EE Cummings” Sabathia, but he can only pitch every 5 days. What should worry Cubs fans is the Brewers’ offense. Players like J.J. Hardy (think he’ll drop the periods?), Prince Fielder, Cory Hart and Ryan Braun are all top-flight offensive threats, even if you can’t find a normal first name in the bunch. And the Brewers always give the Cubs a close game. Yes, the Cubs should be able to beat the Brewers, but think about this: the Cubs play the last 3 games of the season in Milwaukee, and the Cubs are under .500 on the road this year. Let’s hope those last 3 games are meaningless to the Cubs. In a good way.

Also consider that the Cubs and Brewers have the two best records in the National League at this point, meaning that if one of them is the Wild Card team, and both teams survive the first round of the playoffs, they will meet each other for the pennant in the NLCS. That’s like Christie Brinkley accidentally getting on an elevator alone with Peter Cook. Very uncomfortable.

The Unbalanced Major Leagues: There are 30 teams in Major League Baseball, with 3 divisions in the American League and 3 divisions in the National League. Now, any third grader can tell you that 30 teams divided by 6 divisions works out nicely to 5 teams per division, with no remainders, as we used to say in the 3^rd grade. So why in the over-extended, pretentious name of PricewaterhouseCoopers are there 16 teams in the National League and only 14 teams in the American League? The National League Central division has 6 teams, while the American League West division has only 4 teams. If your favorite team is in the AL West and it can’t make the playoffs at least every other year, you might as well root for the Patterson brothers to reach their potential.

So while teams in the AL West only have to beat out 3 other teams to reach the playoffs, the Cubs have to beat out 5 other teams, if you include Pittsburgh as a team. What doesn’t make sense is that the Brewers used to be in the American League and moved to the National League, effective creating this traffic jam in the NL Central. It really doesn’t make any sense to have this unbalanced mix. Oh sure, having an odd number of teams in each League would mean that there would have to be at least one interleague game every night, but so what? Doesn’t everyone just get all giddy during interleague play anyway? Well, instead of a calvacade of games in June, why not just spread out those games so that there’s one every night? We get permanent interleague, and the National League Central gets a fair shake.

God’s version of “Punk’d”: Your God, whether he’s an Almighty deity, a Buddha, a cow, or Morgan Freeman, likes to laugh. At the very least he likes to see Cubs fans squirm.

In 2003, He brought us to within 5 outs of the World Series. That was just a teaser.

Because when you think about it, the past 4 World Series, ever since the Cubs came within those 5 outs of the Series, have been won by the Cubs’ fans worst nightmare teams: in 2004, the Red Sox broke their “curse”; leaving the Cubs and White Sox with the longest Championship droughts. The very next year, God took care of the White Sox and handed them their rings. With those two teams out of the way, He went for the middle of our hearts in 2006: the hated Cardinals won it all with an overachieving team and a couple of DUIs.

So last year seemed like a perfectly natural segue for the Cubs, right? Nope, He said give the Red Sox a SECOND championship, and make sure that pillar of salt gets ground into our wounds with a jackhammer.

So why should we expect anything less in 2008? Who would be our next, least favorite team to win a championship other than the Cubs? Why, the Brewers of course! The only difference this year is that we’re onto God’s hidden camera, so we can’t get punk’d if we see it coming and tell Him so.

Like a little brother getting a 5 year long noogie, I’m willing to cry “Uncle!” or “Supreme Being!” or whatever He wants to hear before He lets me up off the carpet.

I give. Now let us win one, for Your sake.

Next week: how I think the White Sox will do the rest of the year. Just kidding.

Rock The Reception: Alvin-Adria Performance

2008-07-16T14:49:00.000-07:00

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Waffle House Wedding

2008-07-16T14:46:00.000-07:00

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Getting Away From Yourself

2008-07-15T00:09:00.000-07:00

By Bob Rehak

I took a vacation with my family last week.

We rented a house on a lake in Michigan. Not on Lake Michigan; just a lake in Michigan. A week on a house on Lake Michigan rents for about the same as 3 car payments, a mortgage payment, and a month’s worth of Raisinets (I rounded up).

A house on a small lake in Michigan rents for just enough to make you feel like you’re saving money while you’re spending money (it’s a nice illusion). While we were spending time on the back deck of the rental house on a Tuesday, looking out at a lone fisherman in a bass boat, it occurred to me that everyone else who lived on that lake was probably at work. Then I thought that it must be a nice place to live year round, and that those people have a nice life. But then I remembered that winters must be tough on a lake in Michigan.

I also wondered if anyone on this lake would want to rent my house for a week in the summer. Maybe they, too, would enjoy the view off my back deck, looking at the neighbor’s backyard. Probably not, but the point of a vacation is to get away from what you’re used to.

I knew that I needed a vacation when I realized a few months ago that I sit in nearly the same seat on the Metra train every day. And that other people sit in nearly the same seats as well. Maybe they all went to Catholic schools like I did and were programmed to sit in the same seats until told otherwise – or else. This lemming seating chart that we’ve all memorized makes us comfortable. It also makes us stir crazy. I knew the situation was really bad when I started to notice that every time I got off the train in Chicago, the SAME guy would pass me going the opposite way, on his way to work.

Every.

Day.

I often tell the coworkers who I supervise that every once in a while they should input some data on their computers while standing up. They look at me like I’m crazy, but then they’ll try it when they think no one is looking. It’s the same work, but from a different perspective. Breaking away from the routine, from the mundane, is the only way to stay sane. That’s why there are no 50 year veterans of the Illinois Tollway. Can you imagine handing out coins in that same 4x6 box, every day, for more than a few hours? Sure, it’s exciting to see the different types of cars and trucks and look at all the dashboard snacks as customers roll up to your booth, but even tollway voyeurism must get old after a while.

Last week when you had the 4th of July off, it helped you recharge, didn’t it? Unless you were in prison or working at a Shelton’s fireworks store (buy 1, get 6 free!), last Friday was a nice break from your Groundhog Day life [Hey Midwesterners, don't take that for granted - I'd kill for a deal like that back east...or legal fireworks within two states for that matter! - Editor].

Every time I go on vacation with my family and we rent a house or a condo, it’s always strange at first to think that we’re sleeping in someone else’s bed, using someone else’s fork to eat, or better yet, using someone else’s fork to eat while in someone else’s bed.

Vacations separate us from ourselves, while bringing us closer to those who shared the experience. For that moment in your life you don’t live at your own house anymore. For that moment in time you’re someone living in Michigan or Hawaii or Wisconsin or wherever you decide to vacation. For that moment your life is suspended. Your mail doesn’t get to you; your home phone isn’t within reach, your email goes unanswered (and if you spend your vacation answering cell phones or messages, you’re really not on vacation, don’t kid yourself, Mr. Drone). The next time you go on vacation, leave all that stuff behind. Including yourself.

CBS Bounces Packer From NCAA Team

2008-07-14T18:24:00.000-07:00

For the first time in 34 years, Billy Packer won’t be calling the Final Four, the Miami Herald reports. CBS won’t renew the 68-year-old’s year-to-year contract, an exec confirmed, but will replace Packer with veteran announcer Clark Kellogg. Packer has been a controversy magnet, most famously for calling Allen Iverson “a tough monkey” in 1996.

“'No one has ever loved the game of college basketball more than Billy Packer,” said longtime broadcasting partner Jim Nantz, who will stay on alongside Kellog. “He protects the heart and soul of the sport. Fans don't realize they owe Billy a thank you.”