Orange By Name...

American Jobs for American Workers

2008-09-05T14:52:00.003Z

This time last year Old Gordo was rightly condemned in Lib Dem circles for his nationalistic pledge of “British jobs for every British worker”.

Like most statist proposals, this was not just wrong, but also entirely undeliverable; a shameful attempt to draw favour from certain people’s xenophobic instincts, it demonstrated the worst of the man’s politics and ideology.

Twelve months later Gordo is number 2 on the Chart of National Laughing Stocks.

Newcastle Football Club are top.

Tottnum are third.

Anyway, to the point – while the Republicans have (again, rightly) been attacked in our ‘sphere of late, it is worth remembering the many faults of Barack Obama.

Earlier this year, for example, Obama endorsed the not-at-all-sinister-sounding “Patriot Employer Act”, assuring the nation that “when” he is President he will pass the act.

Here is a quotation of his from the time:

“…we will end the tax breaks for companies who ship our jobs overseas, and we will give those breaks to companies who create good jobs with decent wages right here in America.”

So, to clarify – “when” he is President, Obama will penalise all companies who help bring prosperity to (typically poor) countries through employing foreign staff.

Nice.

Night Fever in Hampstead Town – Wednesday 24th September

2008-09-02T10:45:00.008Z

Add Your Name Below, Like.

Surely the best means of channelling that post-Conference zeal, what?

Oh yes, oh yes.

On the night before polling day, the coolest kids in Laaaandan (and Julian H) will be transformed into lovely little helpers, hopping up the hill to Hampstead.

There they will assist star Lib Dem candidate Linda Chung in her by-election fight against the fiendish Nu-Conservalites and the much more evil Damn Bastard British National Party (DBBNP).

Now, Reader, you have the unique opportunity of being a cool kid / little helper yourself. Yes, you. Really. Never mind those green cordroys and sandals. We can overlook those. Somehow.

Here is a list, or even a "roll call". It may begin modest, but by Jove will it grow? It is everyone helping that evening. Or at least everyone helping who doesn't mind being publicly listed as such on the internet.

Julian H!
Tom Papworth!
Russell Eagling!
James Schneider!

Is this a stupid idea? No, this is a good idea. Come on, add yer names. I'll buy you a Kit-Kat.

FRAPPUCCINOS AND FIGHTING FASCISTS

2008-09-01T10:26:00.008Z

You! Reader! I need you.

We need you.

HAMPSTEAD needs you.

"For what?" you mumble with a certain hint of trepidation. "I'm rather busy wi..."

NO.

NO NO NO.

No busy.

You will come, and you will help. With this:

HAMPSTEAD TOWN WARD BY-ELECTION

25TH SEPTEMBER 2008

The story thus far:

Tory councilor exists, doing his Tory thing in Hampstead Town. He resigns, to spend more time trying to become an MP in Bournemouth.

Boooooo.

Hisssssss.

Now the Lib Dems have a chance to continue our BRILLIANT recent record of by-election victories in the Hampstead & Kilburn target seat for the next General Election.

Recently, we have beaten the Tories in:

Fortune Green!
Somewhere in Queens Park!

And I think another one.

Also running in this seat are, for the first time, the Damn Bastard British National Party (DBBNP). Yes, really.

One local Lib Dem activist says:

"The Liberal Democrats have had a brilliant start campaigning in the Hampstead Town ward - and we now have the opportunity to have a real go at the Tories and show the country that Hampstead & Kilburn is soon to be a Lib Dem seat. We must also ensure that the BNP are put in their place. A large and lively Lib Dem presence over the next couple of weeks can achieve both these ends."

I urge you to help with this seat. C'mon, it'll be fun. I might even turn up.

If you would like to get involved please call Ben on 07792 562 977 or Simon on 07889 924 925 or email simon.green@hampsteadandkilburn.org.uk.

Our by-elections today echo in eternity.

Obama and the Mexican Trucks ("Obama Girl" Not Included)

2008-08-29T10:34:00.017Z

A man named "Barack Obama" is featuring somewhat heavily in the British news media of late. The primary question in our circles seems to be:

Is he a liberal?

Now, whilst attitudes to trade do not singularly define liberalism, they are pretty indicative of one's wider economic philosophy. The infamous Corn Laws, of course, separated nineteenth-century liberalism from the nationalistic protectionism of that era.

Let me thus direct you to here - which is a rather fun site in which you can look up all kinds of voting records in the US Congress on trade.

The matrix above depicts Obama's position on trade as based on his entire voting record. It appears to be fairly conclusive:

Obama generally supports barriers to trade
Obama nearly always supports subsidies for US producers *

As you may note, this maketh him an "interventionist".

The page also lists some specific votes that Obama has attended. A sample for you:

"Ban Mexican Trucks on U.S. Roads" (2007) - supported by Obama
"Reduce Worker Visas" (2007) - supported by Obama
"Dominican Republic-Central American FTA" (2005) - Obama supported barriers on goods from the Dominican Republic - opposing free trade.

Mr Barack a liberal? Orange By Name thinks not.

* as a disclaimer I should add "...when he votes". Naturally, there are many bills on which Obama has not cast a vote.

And finally... A quick thank you to any crazy fools who voted for Orange By Name in the top LD blogs thing on that Total Politics / Dale whatever. I love you all.

Tackling Islamicism – Let Them Sell Shoes

2008-08-18T15:39:00.008Z

“What do we do about it?” was the question, voiced by a good friend of mine at a recent politicalbetting.com barbeque.

A favourite of the chattering classes, the topic of conversation was of course – Islamicism.

A short silence ensued, broken only by your narrator mumbling through a half-masticated prawn:

“Nothing”

Concerned that I may already be drunk, my fellow munchers looked across blankly.

“Do nothing. We shouldn’t do anything” I repeated, with typical lucidity.

Having swallowed the unfortunate crustacean, I attempted, very badly, to explain that neither governments nor white Englishmen with a penchant for politics (for this demographic occupied the whole table) could (nor should) tackle and change how some individuals think.

All we could do was to promote liberal democracy and through the strength and prosperity this brings, people would, generally, be more sensible and not want to blow everyone up.

This argument didn’t entirely win over the table but hey, neither do most of my instinctive über-libertarian outbursts. Yet today, by the grace of Allah / God / Jesus / Dennis Bergkamp, an article appears in the Wall Street Journal which, kind of, elucidates on what I was getting at.

The article, to synopsise, argues that US trade barriers affect mainly-Islamic countries more than others – and by this the US government has contributed to economic decline in those countries.

In turn, this has correlated (if not entirely caused) the rise of aggressive Islamicism in the Middle East over the past few decades.

By knocking down these barriers to trade, liberalisation can allow people in the Middle East to become more prosperous, and prevent there being quite so many embittered young men wandering around with nothing to do.

“But what about the oil?” they cry, these voices in my head. "What about the prosperity brought by oil?" Well, as pointed out by the article and by some character on Today this morning – the wealth created by oil in the Middle East has tended to be very centralised, often poached by kleptocrats.

On the contrary, wealth derived from clothes, towels, shoes and luggage - all of which are produced prolifically in the Middle East - is more likely to be spread beneath those in power, thus creating a healthier economic climate.

Some figures to illustrate the point:

Between 1980 and 2000, the Middle East’s share of world trade fell by 75%.
In the same period the unemployment rate for young people rose to 25%.
Pakistani towels imported to the US face a 7.5% tariff. Towels from the Dominican Republic or Costa Rica face no tariff.
Clothes and luggage face on average 14.5% in import tariffs to the US.
Shoes can face tariffs and taxes of up to 48%.

The third point occurs because very few Free Trade Agreements (FTAs) seem to exist between the US and Middle Eastern countries.

Fortunately, a Democrat Senator named Maria Cantwell is proposing a Bill to waive tariffs on many goods from Afghanistan and Pakistan's frontier provinces – and while this alone is not enough to redress all the imbalances and government-failures of US trade barriers (let alone the usually-far-worse barriers imposed by other states), it is at least one very welcome step.

Poverty and lack of opportunity may not be the sole reason behind the rise of Islamicism (indeed the 7/7 bombers were, I believe, reasonably comfortable and well-educated) yet it no-doubt contributes to the swathes of angry young men who continue to be easy-pickings for Islamicist activists.

Furthermore, tariffs imposed by the US help stoke resentment against the country that has benefitted arguably more than any other from nineteenth and twentieth century liberalisation. People perceive a West that preaches liberalisation whilst its governments in fact shove trade barriers directly in their faces.

So, back to the point - what do we do about Islamic terrorism?

Reactionary, conservative responses to terrorism do not work. Isolationism does not work. Wars do not work. Incarcerating people without trial does not work. Rather than bandying about these authoritarian responses to an authoritarian problem, liberal democracies should be sticking their strengths.

The light hand of liberalism is far more effective than the above government actions (ie. failures).

As it becomes increasingly clear how calamitous and counter-productive interventions like the Iraq War and Guantanamo Bay have been, I hope it seems somewhat less absurd to suggest that, instead of building up trade barriers, governments all along should have been kicking back and - really - doing nothing.

Russian Attacks on Georgia Continue

2008-08-15T14:51:00.004Z

It has been widely reported in recent days that Russian military attacks have continued to take place in Georgia irrespective of the "cease fire" claimed by the Kremlin.

Several blogs and websites are offering updated information on such attacks, including the following claims made in the last few hours:

16:10 Russian soldiers kidnapped 4 member of Namgalauri family from village Ghogheti of Kareli district. Kidnapers moved towards Znauri.

15:30 Russian helicopters are overflying Bordjomi-Tsemi forests and dropping fire setting engines. There are already from 12 to 15 fire locations. Russian military confirmed of flying helicopters over this territory without further comments.

Both comments and a full timeline were posted on this sit e by an acqaintance of an acquaintance of mine.

Some other sites from Georgia also have constant updates, while Cicero is blogging almost daily on the subject.

2008 MSM A Level Results Day Teen Hugging Action Round-Up

2008-08-14T13:52:00.005Z

One hasn't seen the paper copies of today's mainstream 'papers but their websites are rather letting themselves down with regards to the usual lesbo-erotic shots of hugging 18 year old blonde women.

Typically is it not the Torygraph that leads this event, providing visual excitement to all the rural-based ex-military septuagenarian men?

Well not today. Instead, Malthusian comic "The Independent" comes closest to this expected cliché - they've found two very, very excited and almost hysterically happy blonde 18 year old women who are in that pre-hug moment of batting grins at each other, arms slightly raised in anticipation of the embrace, yet maintaining that element of slight lesbo-tension.

Such is the remarkable level of futuristic technology in Fleet Street, that both the Times and the Grauniad have videos of students opening the envelopes wherein their ~~inevitable straight As~~ grades lie.

Many years ago I collected my A level results after getting drunk in an illegal bar in Soho, being kicked out at 4am and walking all the way to south London to pick them up. On the way I fell asleep at a bus stop, somewhere near Brixton.

They were rubbish and no one hugged me.

Ball Ball Ball Footy Footy Footy

2008-08-13T09:18:00.002Z

Not content with having one neglected, largely-futile blog - I now have two.

The other one is called Gingers for Limpar and is all about the beautiful ~~blondes~~ game.

Add both to your favourites.

Huhne is Reformer of the Week. Last Week.

2008-08-12T14:50:00.006Z

Several days late, maybe, yet I can still report that think tank Reform made Chris Huhne their "Reformer of the Week" (last week).

Our Home Affairs shadow won the title "for saying that prison should be a 'last resort' for young offenders. Pointing out that three quarters of children who are sent to prison go on to commit new and more serious offences, Mr Huhne drew attention to the folly of spending vast amounts of money on locking up children when resources could be better used for preventative measures which work better."

I have previously pointed out how the think tank is not, as some people claim, a Tory-leaning right-wing-machine, but rather an advocate body for very liberal reforms.

That is unless "prison doesn't work" sentiments and the favouring of (it's that word again) reform programmes for young offenders are now the ground of Conservatives.

Our MP Jeremy Browne has previously had to defend his position on the advisory board of the think tank, following attacks in Liberator Magazine. This piece (click) is from 2005, yet even recently letters have appeared in Liberator attacking Browne for being associated with what they label a "vile" organisation.

It is a shame that some within the party feel the need to harbour such vitriol and be so suspicious of anything with a slight whiff of market liberalism.

As Reform's award to Huhne shows, this is an organisation promoting a consistent, ideologically-liberal agenda and as such Chris Huhne should be, and I'm sure is, pleased with their recognition.

We Do Run Run Run

2008-08-12T08:40:00.008Z

Admittedly pedantic and perhaps semantic, nonetheless I would like to have a brief moan about this tendency to refer to PMs and Presidents as people who "run" countries.

"... and I’m the guy running the country" joked Anthony Lynton Blair, once, almost-infamously, after he'd failed to pronounce the word 'thrombolysis'.

Presumably our beloved ex-PM should know how to pronounce this term as he was, of course, running the nation's health system (or at least being the boss of whichever crony was pissing around with it at the time). Alas, we still live in an age in which it's deemed totally reasonable for government ministers and mandarins to be deciding how to allocate us healthcare, and for Ed Balls to be deciding how children are educated.

I shouldn't complain, though. Balls is, according to the folk at the totally impartial Smith Institute (who have finally been cleared by the retarded laggard that is the Charity Commission) a man of great intellect, and thus we should all be grateful to have such great minds making great decisions for us.

Returning from this angsty tangent, let us conclude and make this quite clear:

Countries are not “run” by PMs, no matter how much they pretend this to be the case - they are run by the individual actions and exchanges of millions of people.

Politicians simply impose laws, take money on behalf of the state, then once every four or five years attempt to justify this to a confused and disillusioned electorate.

Great. Isn't it?

Another Honorary Mention

2008-07-31T16:02:00.004Z

This time - Gavin's Gaily Gigest.

Gavin - I'm lovin' yo' shit, Blood.

They should have made it a Top 15.

Gavin Whenman (not pictured left)

Proof That Evolution is a Hoax

2008-07-28T13:11:00.003Z

This is great – have a butcher’s.

My favourite part:

“In fact, it is difficult to find much recorded history before 2,500 B.C., because the flood of Noah's day destroyed most of it.”

Christian "Leader" Disapproves (via News of the Screws)

2008-07-27T14:43:00.006Z

T'other day, when compiling my listing of top ten political blogs, I could foresee that I was destined to forget certain blogs which deserve inclusion.

This was indeed the case, as I soon discovered that I'd omitted the rather excellent Elephant.

Today I realise that, furthermore, I forgot to include the also-excellent Hug a Hoodie blog, and this afternoon's post by Young Mr Jonny Wright demonstrates why a cleverer Julian would have included it.

The value of the blogosphere, in my opinion, lies in posts in which the author is able to combine a niche area of knowledge to an issue of more general interest.

Thus, for example, Mr Cicero often posts very well on eastern Europe and the pernicious actions of Vladimir Putin. As another example, away from politics, certain football blogs focus on youth team development, and are often penned by supporters who, unlike Fleet Street hacks and the "expert" ex-footballers who masquerade as pundits, are bothered enough to go to a reserve team game in Barnet on a Monday night and write up an informed report.

To conclude - today's post by Young Mr Jonny Wright is an excellent analysis of the folly of George Carey and his misguided, populistic article in the News of the Screws.

Topical, prompt, informed and, of course, absolutely correct in its conclusions - this is an example of the value of blogs, and thus I strongly recommend that you read it here.

Death of a Party

2008-07-25T08:51:00.003Z

Oh Gordo, what be happening to thine Party, Gordo?

Pray, confess it doth seem to be a-falling a-part, no?

Not one, no, not like some think, not one crashing by-election defeat yester-evening - but two!

For at both extremes of the country didst thou fall last night – a safe seat no more in Glasgow, a safe seat no more in Westminster.

I speak, of course, of Dave Rowntree, former drummer of popular beat combo ‘Blur’.

He stood for you, Gordo, he stood for a ‘safe’ council seat in Westminster, and yet just like Margaret Curran, he receiv'd a smack in the face by a quite massive swing.

In Eastern Glasgow - a 22.54% swing away from Labour.
In Church Street, Westminster - a 14.1% swing away from Labour.

Poor Mr Rowntree ended on a mere 652 votes.

Being Labour, he is training to be a lawyer.

Fall, the lot of you, fall. Pay the price for your odious government.

Mankind's Metareflective Abilities Allow Us To What?

2008-07-24T17:15:00.003Z

Typo of the Day (and quite possibly year) comes from the Summer 2008 edition of The Liberal Magazine.

Fellow English Literature graduates may recognise the author - Terry Eagleton - for his works on literary theory.

The, erm, column is called "On Reflection", and is a reflection of the differences in reflection between man and animal, and in particular man's ability to reflect upon his own reflections.

Have a read. You may want to click on the image to enlarge...

Giles Coren, We Salute You

2008-07-24T09:08:00.006Z

It's not often that I link to another blog story merely for the sake of it, but today's Guido proves an exception.

Click here.

P.S. An ex-girlfriend of Julian H once worked as a sub for the Sunday Times. In the Sport section. True fact.

Orange By Name Reveals Top of the TPs

2008-07-23T17:45:00.009Z

One is at work, at bloody 7.12pm, and one would rather be at home, or in the pub or park or anywhere, maybe not anywhere, no, not the Helmand Province, nor Luton*, but anywhere pleasant and certainly not at work.

Thus I'm going to make this quick, very quick. Always good to get that warning in first.

Right, my top ten blogs on UK politics are, in order....

To those who accuse me of narrowly limiting the selection to my mates, cronies and people I agree with, I say:

Yes.

Honorary mentions go to Cobden's Comments and that new blog that 'Asquith' keeps swearing on.

Tom Papworth, if you're reading - your blog would have been number one, IF IT STILL BLOODY EXISTED.

Obligatory Equality / How 'Representative' Is This? Watch:

6 men
3 women
1 don't know
1 American
1 Scot
Unknown "LGBT"
Unknown "ethnic minorities"
Average age: around 30
Average age excluding Mike Smithson: 19

A-ha! HA! Ha. Sorry, Mike.

Oh and if you're unaware, this whole top 10 malarkey is because Total Politics are doing some kind of poll.

* Luton Lib Dem activists please complain in the comment section.

Update Thursday 24th July:

Oh dung, I forgot the elephant.

Another honorary mention goes to the elephant.

What Are We Making of ‘Make It Happen’?

2008-07-17T15:26:00.003Z

Like most, I was somewhat taken aback by Mr Clegg’s burst onto the meeja scene today. His announcement of our seemingly-pre-manifesto ‘Make It Happen’ policy document (take note, Dave) and headline case for cutting the tax burden certainly caught one off-balance.

Now though, we have had a few hours for it to sink in and the reaction within Lib Dem blog circles seems extremely positive.

At risk of coming over a tad Pravda, here are some quotations to demonstrate the point:

“Now this is what i voted Nick Clegg for!” (Liberal Revolution blog)

“It’s pretty much exactly what I wanted to see happen and it fits very nicely with my perception of what the Liberal Democrat party should really be about” (Andrew Tennant, LDV)

“I'm very impressed with this approach. More of the same please!” (Wit and Wisdom blog)

“Its great to see a commitment to smaller government going hand in hand with tax cuts that show what a progressive move it can be.” (Tinter, LDV)

“I would call this a "pre-manifesto" and it is impressive … The document is brilliantly put together.” (Liberal Burblings blog)

“These new moves are also good. We need to stand out as distinctive and different. Socially and economically liberal are good … Yes, its definately [sic] smart politics.” (Miranda, LDV)

“These are the words I’ve been longing to hear since joining. We can now genuinely, honestly and convincingly position ourselves in distinction to the other parties” (Tom Papworth, LDV)

“Well, it’s just made me moist” (Gavin’s Gaily Gigest blog)

“This is exactly the right thing at the right time and is a great springboard to build on up to the next General Election.” (James Shaddock, LDV)

“Great announcement” (MartinSGill, LDV)

Now these messages need to be pushed – and hard. One day of Radio 4 and a bit in the Indie is not sufficient in itself.

Good luck, Media Team.

Nu Conservalites Prepare for Government – The Big Picture

2008-07-16T17:50:00.003Z

A tip of one’s hat to Ms Lindylooz for alerting me to the news (rhyme unintentional) that Dave Cameron has called for there to be more Responsible Black Fathers as part of a “Responsibility Revolution”.

Orange By Name would like to commend Dave for this guidance. If more politicians say that society needs Responsible Black Fathers, I have no doubt whatsoever that Irresponsible Black Fathers will change into Responsible Black Fathers.

With more advice and commentary from politicians, a responsible and family-based society can surely be formed, dutifully peering up to Westminster and The Church to await further guidance.

Far be it for me to suggest that the ‘Black Church Leaders’ that tell Dave we need more Responsible Black Fathers should perhaps take a look at their own shabby institution, crumbling under an absurd debate about people’s sexual preferences as it is, before moralising to the rest of us about ‘responsibility’.

Following on from the Conservative Party’s efforts last month to make lesbian couples find a ‘father figure’ before having IVF treatment, as well as Dave’s calls for any yoof caught with a knife to be imprisoned, a tangible narrative is beginning to be formed on what Dave’s Britain is going to look like.

This is a worthy achievement and demonstrates that Dave’s party are ready for government. To help them along the way, I have created a pictorial representation of this vision.

Lib Dem Victory in YouGov "Six Pointer"

2008-07-13T12:35:00.004Z

Hmm, I haven't spotted this elsewhere in Lib Dem blog circles today so thought I'd stick it up - the latest YouGov poll, pleasingly showing us 3 points up and Labour 3 points down.

Woop!

On pb.com Mike Smithsons notes that "since the 2005 general election the firm [YouGov] has generally been giving the lowest figures for the third party" - hence this is an especially welcome boon for us lovely liberals.

Good work, team.

Thou Shalt Not Impersonate Members of the House

2008-07-12T11:14:00.007Z

As a zealous, informed and clinically-obsessive politico-blog-reader, you will no doubt already have hurried to the Daily Dale this morning, and there discovered the latest case of … ATTEMPTED FRAUD.

Some scheming little internet fiend hath endeavoured to fool and to trick Mr Dale into believing that there was an imminent ‘putsch’ against Supreme Leader ‘Granny’ Gordo.

A putsch?

Putsch?

A putsch! A putsch! The throng! The mob! A Gordon Riot! A Gordon Riot!

Grab your battens and seal the hatches!

Fortunately, this was not Mr Dale’s reaction, and instead he cunningly checked the source and discovered the e-mail to be a filthy, fraudulent, fake.

Here is the e-mail:

Nick Palmer [mailto:nickpalmermp@googlemail.com]
Sent: 11 July 2008 22:08
To: Iain Dale
Subject: Defection

I have been made aware of a defection by a Labour MP to the Scottish National Party.

The individual in question has cited Gordon Brown and the mistakes in taxation policy on the 10 pence tax rate and latterly the Vehicle Excise Duty debacle. I have spoken to the member on this issue and agree that it undermines our electoral position due to ineffective leadership. I believe that it is only a matter of days before a putsch against Gordon is made as this clearly cannot go on. Please withhold my credentials should you chose to publicise this potential blow to Gordon’s failed leadership.

Lies!

For those aware of Nick Palmer Member of Parliament’s political standings, this filthy, fraudulent fake is quite clearly a filthy, fraudulent fake, for Nick Palmer is, I’m sure he won’t mind me saying, one of the most loyal Labour troopers in the entire land of Great Britain.

The image of Nick Palmer fronting a ‘putsch’ through portentously dark alleyways, eyes a-goggle, firey stake gripped fervently in one hand, is about as conceivable as that of Ann Winterton clad in tight leather shorts, waving a glow stick furiously above her head while dancing to Daft Punk.

Sadly this is not the first case of internet impersonation of Nick Palmer; it has happened I believe more than once on politicalbetting.com where he often openly posts opinions under his real name. To his credit, Mike Smithson has been very quick to locate fraudulent messages via IP addresses and remove them.

I once disagreed with a poster at a pb.com party who said that Nick should be ‘protected’ to ensure he continues to post on pb.com. There is, I confessed, definite value in politicians being regularly open and honest and blogs can provide a means for that to happen; and in that regard I commend Nick Palmer for participating on pb.com under his real name. My disagreement was in the suggestion that Nick shouldn’t face (sometimes intense) criticism of his views. In my opinion a politician signs up for this when they put themselves forward for having the right to influence changes in the law.

However, some protection is certainly needed from internet imitation, else we risk losing what at present is still a fairly uncensored e-community of blogs in which everyone can debate; whether you have a public status or not.

In the build up to the last LD leadership contest, both Nick Clegg and Chris Huhne partook in open Q&A sessions on politicalbetting.com, answering posters’ questions (relatively) off the cuff. This, I feel, is extemely positive - namely that high-level politicians feel they can become involved in such environments that allow direct questioning from plebs like myself.

The above e-mail to Iain Dale may be hilariously obvious as a fake, but any such imitation prays on the open, accessible and constantly-updating nature of the political blogosphere.

Here’s to hoping the current self-regulatory blogging culture can continue and uncensored comment fora remain available for all, even MPs.

King of Bling Leaves The Ring

2008-07-11T11:53:00.009Z

"We should back the workers, not the shirkers!" declared Maggie T many years ago, 'round about the time when Julian H was getting more into football and less into cartoons and The A-Team.

All well and good, yet it now seems as if self-styled Thatcherite Brian Coleman has been indulging in a spot of shirking himself.

Up and coming Liberal Ed Fordham today reports that Coleman (his and my own GLA representative) has taken to walking out of rather important GLA meetings.

Ed’s example is of a Plenary Session on policing from earlier this week. Apparently Coleman walked out the meeting not once, not thrice, but – better than thrice but worse than once – TWICE.

What was he doing? Where did he go?

WHAT ABOUT POLICING?

Come on Brian, your side are supposed to love policing, you never shut up about it.

To see what it's like when Coleman storms out of a building, click here.

Robert Runs out of Paper, And Other Stories

2008-07-07T14:13:00.007Z

"Agghh" exclaimed Robert "there is no paper to clean up my shit".

This annoyed Robert very much. There was nothing more annoying than shitting everywhere only to discover that there was no paper to clean up the shit.

"Fucking Imperialist Tony Blair!" shouted Robert, eyes bulging as if he was a complete murderous idiot, "Tony - he stole the paper to clean up the shit!".

Robert had been shitting all over his country for twenty eight years. No wonder he was so tired and irritable.

The paper had kept him going. There was always more shit, but then there was always more paper.

"Mr Mugabe" the bankers would say "our economy is covered in shit!"

"No problem" Robert would reply "print more paper!". And everything would be alright again. No one would complain because they knew Robert might get angry and have them shot!

But now there was no paper. The shop that sold the paper, Giesecke & Devrient, wouldn't sell Robert the paper.

"Fucking Imperialist Gordon Brown!" shouted Robert, eyes bulging as if he was still a complete murderous idiot.

But Robert knew it wasn't really their fault. And now there was no paper. Maybe his friends would lend him some.

Robert may have been angry and covered in shit, but he still had some very, very good friends.

Heinz Meanz Fiendz

2008-06-28T14:57:00.003Z

An Open Letter! Sent to whom? Sent to Nigel, of course; top, leading, "government affairs" bloke at Heinz.

Dear Nigel Dickie,

Predictably find here another complaint about your company's decision to withdraw the "kissing men" advertisement because of the original complaints from a couple of hundred backward-thinking fiendish types in spite of the kiss apparently not even being a 'real' kiss but a kind of 'joke kiss' which I'm sure was rather funny and could have cheered up all us over-taxed subjects of Supreme Leader Gordo's Britain whilst simultaneously promoting your rather excellent beans.

Please also note that this is an "Open Letter", such as those formerly written by Belinda Oaten in the Daily Mail, and by Tottenham Hotspur Football Club when they failed (again) to beat their superior neighbours to fourth place and decided to publicly pretend it was due to a conspiracy to poison their team with lasagne and induce diarrhoea. As I dislike, nay, vehemently despise the Daily Mail, this "Open Letter" will instead be published on my blog - www.orangebyname.co.uk. You've probably heard of it.

And yes, it's a Lib Dem blog. I know, quelle surprise.

In any case, my point is - either you are being very clever and are stirring this up to get some free publicity, else you are being rather pathetic and should unwithdraw the "kissing men" advertisement pronto.

All the best,

Julian H
xx

I wanna sex you up, that's right. Come on now, let's get it on tonight.

2008-06-27T09:47:00.004Z

Apologies in advance for pedantry and disloyalty, but I can't help but draw attention to the rather 'sexed up' and heavily-spun account of our Henley result from Party HQ.

Says Mr Rennard in the second line of the e-mail we all received:

"We increased our vote and reduced the Conservative majority"

On LD Voice, Pete (the Colchester one) notes that our number of votes actually declined.

This is responded to by Stephen Tall who notes that "it’s silly to look at absolute voting figures on a reduced turnout", and hence that we did increase our percentage vote. Proved as follows:

2005 LD percentage: 26%
2008 LD percentage: 28%*

All well and good. So let's stick to percentages, right? But what of the second part of Rennard's claim?:

"We increased our vote and reduced the Conservative majority"

Not in percentage terms we didn't.

2005: Tories 27.5% ahead of Lib Dems
2008: Tories 29% ahead of Lib Dems

So the first part - "We increased our vote" - refers to vote percentage, and the second part - "and reduced the Conservative majority" - refers to number of votes. Of course by reversing the method, one could say "Our vote decreased" (number of votes) "and the Conservatives extended their majority" (in vote percentage).

Now, lest I'm accused of mixing the excrement, let me explain that I am not "having a go", nor ignoring the effort people have put into Henley, nor even commenting on our by-election techniques.

Rather, my point is simply: let's not mislead ourselves, eh?

* rounded to nearest whole percentage point