Femmes & Fisticuffs

Rant. Rant. Rant.

2009-06-30T07:46:00.002-04:00

Now, I know it's been forever and I'm a big fat blogging liar. But I hope you can forgive me and listen to my small rant.

Tomorrow is July 1st, the day Vinny's new contract kicks in. Today, they are posting articles about voting for your favorite T-Shirt design for Hedman. Are you kidding me?

Maybe it's just me - but I'm so sick and tired of the organization just really owning up to anything, and just handing the fans fluff in hopes we'll forget what's going down.

Yes, I'm glad they got their draft pick, but do you honestly think it's going to be Victor Hedman that's going to save us? Didn't they learn last year when they put all of this pressure on Stamkos? You can't just have one guy produce. You need a whole team. But you can't build a team when you have the owners bickering like the Odd Couple.

The worst thing that ever happened to the team is when Oren Koules signed the dotted line, and turned the team into a horror movie.

Moral of the story: Please own up to your mistakes and quit acting like "Together We Will" fix anything. If the fans had a say, I'm willing to bet the team would be coming together quite nicely. Personally, I believe the fans have a better shot than the people who sit in the owner's box. At least the fans would have the best interest of the team, and not the best interest of our pockets.

/end rant.

Miss Conduct is now Mrs.

2009-01-28T08:47:00.003-05:00

Miss Conduct is now Mrs. Conduct! Hense the whole not blogging thing. But finally, the tides have calmed down and Mr. Conduct and I are settled in. Now, I can finally dedicate my time to my second love...

Hockey!

In the next two weeks or so, you'll be seeing some changes with the blog - and some actual posts! Shocking, I know.

Keep checking back. I swear there will be some actual content. I'll be making a comeback, just like the Lightning are right now. Funny how that is working out.

Maybe Femmes and Fisticuffs can have a play off push too!

I'm hoping to avoid security.

2008-11-20T07:13:00.002-05:00

I would like to take this moment to say that Rick Tocchet is a little firecracker and I love it. Who knows if he'll take the team and transform them into a team that starts winning...but he's sure fun to watch. I wasn't shocked last Friday when I read that Melrose got cut. The only thing I'm surprised about is that it took as long as it did. Good effort, Melrose but it just wasn't going to happen for you here.

The team is dangerously close to last place in the Eastern Conference. A spot the team is all too familiar if considering last season. I can't help but wonder what it is going to take for the team to just wake up and function.

I'll be asking this tonight at Hockey and Heels. I will also be throwing myself at Bobby Taylor so he'll remember me when I try to intern with the Lightning during my last semester of Journalism. Hopefully my plan will work. More so, let's hope I don't get kicked out.

Worst blogger ever award goes to...

2008-11-04T08:24:00.003-05:00

I must say that I've been awful at updating. But seeing as how I've either been sick, piled under homework, on vacation, covering other people's shifts at work, driving my mom to the hospital for having a stroke, or sleeping. Whew. I really need to get better at this whole balancing my time better.

But can I say that I'm really proud of the Lightning for past three games? Three game winning streak is definitely something to breathe a sigh of relief for. Thank god. It seems as though they are finally meshing together now. It only took 10 games, but at least they got it together. More on this later, of course.

Now, go vote!

Thank god!

2008-10-22T15:41:00.002-04:00

All I can say is thank god. We desperately needed a win. Especially since I was at the game! But I can't help but say "Huh?" when it comes to the MVP line.

To Whom it May Concern:

2008-10-14T16:26:00.001-04:00

Dear Tampa Bay Lightning,

Please stop getting your butt handed to you. Kthx. 0-3 is not the way to start off the season.

Sincerely,

Dissapointed fan.

Seriously. What happened?

2008-10-06T08:46:00.006-04:00

Well...that was unexpected. Two major loses in Prague against the New York Rangers was most certainly not the ideal way to start off the season. It was almost like the Lightning had never played a game together which is a bit of a head-scratcher since they came off a good pre-season. So, I have to ask - what the heck happened? Defense isn't defending and our shooters aren't shooting. It's almost embarrassing to look how much the Rangers out shot the Lightning this weekend. On top of that, there were too many penalties against the Lightning and a special team that isn't consistent with penalty kills. This weekend basically consisted of missed opportunities by a team that looked like they hadn't played together in weeks. Also, as much as I love Malone - he needs to chill out. He just started to brawl for no reason it seems like. At least with Roy, he always had a reason. Marty St. Louis and Adam Hall were the two with goals under their belt after the two games. I'm glad Marty was the one to score the first Lightning goal of the regular season, because I needed some type of familiarity! Mostly because I'm going to have a seizure trying to get used to this new line up. I miss familiar faces.

I will admit that the defensive line needed a change but I don't think it needed to happen overnight. The Lightning club definitely hit the panic button after Prague and I believe they made a knee jerk reaction in trading both O'Brien and Ouelette. Allbeit, Ouelette has been on the chopping block for some time due to his 1.2 million dollar contract, and the salary cap. But O'Brien? He didn't even make a million dollars! I won't lie, I really liked O'Brien. He played 77 games with the Lightning last season and recorded four goals, and 21 points. Over the span of 158 NHL games, he's accrued 330 penalty minutes. O'Brien was a player we needed. Ouelette never really got to show the Lightning what he was capable of after being taken from the Penguins and thrown onto a team that was playing pitifully last season. But between the Lightning and the Penguins he's got 52 goals and 116 points in 187 games. Honestly, not too shabby at all and that's a lot more than most of the players on the roster right now. In the deal that sent O'Brien and Ouelette on their merry way to Vancouver, the Lightning acquired defense man Lukas Krajicek and minor league winger Juraj Simek, who is being sent to minors automatically. Brian Lawton felt Krajicek is a valuable acquisition due to his ability to take turnovers into scoring opportunities.

"Really, we're just looking to upgrade or quicken the speed of our transition game," Lawton said. "We think that's what Lukas brings to us more than anything. We like the way he moves the puck. We like the way he moves around the ice. We certainly wish Shane well. It's tough when you trade a guy that's as well liked as he was." - St. Pete Times.

Grrr. Then maybe you shouldn't have traded him! Anyway, we'll find on Saturday whether or not the praise of Lukas is true as the Lightning play against yet another Staalh and the Hurricanes. Other changes to the roster consist of Karri Ramo and Vladimir Mihalik being sent to Norfolk with Simek in tow.

In closing, I will say that Mike Smith and Olaf Kolzig really held their own over the weekend, especially with our defensive lines scratching their heads most of the time. Letting only two shots in each wouldn't have been half bad if our team was shooting and scoring goals to offset it. I understand that Lundqvist is the human rock, but the Lightning barely tried to get a goal against him! Either way, I was impressed by how our goaltenders played and I think that they could help the team a lot during this season but only if the rest of the team starts doing their part.

Do you have to pay tax on people?

2008-10-01T18:28:00.002-04:00

Just out of curiosity, aren’t we supposed to be getting rid of players and not acquiring new ones? Granted, it’s another "once was" Penguin and there is nothing I love more than acquiring that whole team, past and present, just because I think it’s funny. But this acquisition is even more funny especially since we picked up from Slovakia. Hmm, I wonder how much you have to pay in tax for basically buying a person from another country. But in all seriousness – lesson your load! Anyway, what’s up Michel Sersen? Although, I do not think you are the cure for the common defensemen, I have high hopes for your ability to take our defensemen line from mediocre to not so mediocre.

Scratches and Slovakia

2008-09-30T08:49:00.004-04:00

Is it wrong that I get a sick enjoyment from knowing that Nick Tarnasky will no longer be wearing a Lightning sweater? I get even more enjoyment knowing that he got sent to the Predators with a bum thumb, and we received a conditional draft pick in 2009. Farewell Tarnasky. You can go instill your lack of personality to Nashville now.

Today's game against Slovakia should be an interesting one, considering the scratch list for it. Ryan Malone, Paul Ranger, Olaf Kolzig, David Koci, Janne Niskala, Michel Ouellet and Gary Roberts. Ouellet is apparently on waivers and isn't even practicing with the team. Scandal? More to come on this game later when it's actually over and done with.

In other sports news, the Chicago Blackhawks placed Nikolai Khabibulin on waivers! As of right now, the other NHL clubs have 24 hours to claim him off waivers before his rights revert back to the Blackhawks. I think any team would be stupid not to jump on getting the Bulin Wall as their goaltender. Injuries or no injuries, he's still a Stanley Cup winner.

It's the final countdown.

2008-09-24T08:58:00.007-04:00

For anyone who thought that Christmas was the most wonderful time of the year, you were clearly mistaken. The most wonderful time of the year is the beginning of hockey season. Between the team changes in line up, and the anticipation of the first game - I can barely contain myself! More so, I can barely keep up with all of the things that are happening as of late. With Vinny being named captain and two wins this pre-season, things are looking up for the Lightning who had the sword of Damocles hanging over them for a while.

Let's start off with last night's game. Somehow I was lucky enough to sit 8 rows from the glass and now my life will never be the same. Actually, now I've just been spoiled and can't imagine sitting any further back. The sound the boards make when Arty slams up against them is pretty freaking amazing. Enough about my seats though, let's discuss Steve Stamkos. High five to him for scoring his first goal wearing the Tampa Bay Lightning sweater, which came to him in a power play during the second period. The other goals came from Marty (yay!) and Ryan Craig (double yay!). Have I conveyed how happy I am that Ryan Craig is back from being injured, signed with a nice contract, and playing again? So happy that I took about 40 pictures of him while at Icefest, because I'm clearly creepy. Don't worry, I'll be posting the good ones later! I hate to admit it, but Smith was on his game last night. Truthfully, I felt the Ranger's outplayed the Lightning but Smith really stuck with the net and totalled 38 saves. A win is a win though, and it felt good. Especailly since I really hate the Rangers. I shouldn't since I'm from New York, but I just can't help it.

Now with three games done, the Lightning camp roster has been reduced by six. Peace out to Ty Wishart, Paul Szczechura, Riku Helenius and Radek Smolenak who were assigned to training camp with Norfolk and Dana Tyrell was assigned to Prince George of the WHL. I'll miss Smolenak the most because he had a really good face. I know this from having my face to the glass on Sunday watching them practice. Remember earlier how I said I'm creepy? Yeah, that still stands.

I have about 37 other things I desperately want to blog about, but unfortunately - it's that time of the morning where I need to actually get ready for work. Don't worry kiddies, I'll be back with more!

Coming to a blog near you...

2008-09-23T08:58:00.002-04:00

Within the next few days, you'll be seeing a re-vamped Femmes & Fisticuffs with a lot of juicy information in preperation for the regular season! Keep checking back!

Barry chews ice.

2008-09-06T16:02:00.002-04:00

Last night it was brought to my attention over Purple Haze beer, and pizza at Old Chicago that Barry Melrose chews ice. I'm trying to figure out why this is pertinent information, or why my fella even made this observation. Right now, I'm going to put this out in Lightning blog land and maybe you can come up with reasons as to why Melrose is an ice chewer. My best friend said he was sexually frustrated. Her theory could be right. I can't imagine that mullet is a big draw in for the ladies. All I really know is that Barry chews his ice during games.

Roster tweaking.

2008-09-01T08:42:00.003-04:00

Is it just me or does it seem like Filip Kuba and Alexandre Picard got punked this off season? Granted, their heads were on the chopping block earlier during the draft, but I'm sure they thought they were in the clear since nothing actually was official. Don't get too comfy boys, you're getting shipped to Ottawa! In comes defenseman Andrej Meszaros, who I really do hope will fill the lack of defense we have on the team since the Boyle/Lukowich trade. At least the Lightning are working their way down in age with this player rather than working their way up. CoughcoughRobertscoughcough. I'll tell you what though, the 22 year old does have great credentials. He's played 246 consecutive games and logs an average of 21 minutes on the ice. He ended the season with Ottawa having 36 points under his belt, nine of which were from goals. With pre-season games starting in just a few weeks (yay!), I wonder if it's safe to say that the Lightning are finally finished tweaking the roster.

Anticipation

2008-08-12T08:50:00.002-04:00

After sitting in front of my computer for about an hour this morning, I've decided that it's going to take me a very long time to memorize the numbers of the new players. Also, it's going to take quite some time to learn the pronunciation of their names. Try and say Konopka three times fast. See? You can't say it without feeling like a total fool. In a month and two days, it'll be the start of the pre-season games. My skin is humming at the thought. We've now entered my favorite time of the off season. There is nothing better than the anticipation at this point in time. Now is when everything gets a lot more exciting. In May, it feels like October is so far away. But now, in August...it doesn't seem so far. It almost seems bearable. Now is the time when I get ridiculously excited over pre-season games, regular season games, what they could possibly use as an intro to each game, Icefest, Hockey N' Heels, and even buying new merchandise. I cannot wait to buy new shirts! Because you know, four shirts, a jersey, a hoodie and a jacket just isn't enough! I'm honestly starting to make a mental list of things I want to buy to fit into my collection. Speaking of merchandise, Fat Head is finally coming out with a jumbo Lightning logo for your wall. I have every intention of buying it as soon as it's released to put in my Lightning room. Yes, this is when hockey excitement really starts to brew for me.

But I'm really going to miss the intro from last year.

Oh Thunderbug!

2008-08-04T08:02:00.003-04:00

This should never be considered funny. But yet, I find it hysterical. Maybe it's because it's 8 in the morning and I didn't sleep very well last night. Maybe I'm dying for some good Lightning news. It's exactly two months today until the first game of the season. Please let them fly by! I'm desperate!

I would just like to thank youtube, beer (I'm sure beer was involved in filming this), spring breakers, and hockey fans for this one minute and nineteen seconds worth of joy.

No news is boring.

2008-07-28T08:05:00.003-04:00

You know the expression "No news is good news"? Well, I'm here to tell you that no news isn't good news. It's actually boring news. I'm in desperate need for some kind of dirt. The only Lightning related information that is floating around is Torts being interviewed to coach for the Islanders, and that Darche got signed to the Sabres. If any of you actually watched the town meeting that the Lightning did a few weeks ago, I can think of at least two people who are chomping at the bit in regards to not re-signing Darche. It just wasn't in the cards for a lot of last season's players. At least Darche went out on a high note with a career high of a 22 point season. But alas, the franchise is going for higher impact players which inevitably needs to be done. So, we say Farewell to Mathieu. It was fun while it lasted and best of luck playing with their AHL affiliate. Darche can take comfort in the fact that he's on the "peace out" list with other really great players who were also exiled from the team.

Even though I've done a lot of kicking and screaming this off season, I do understand the fact that the owners had to come in and completely revamp a team that was ranked 30th. I have this tendency to get lost in the Stanley Cup winning season, and to me they will always be number one. The NHL stat log begs to differ. With that being said, and minus my knee jerk reaction - I understand the need for change and we got a group of really good players during the trade. But, I hate that we had to give up really good players in order to get these trades. Like every other Lightning fan, I'm hoping for the best next season and can't wait to see this completely revamped team play together. Mostly, I'm crossing my fingers and hoping to death that the players actually have some level of chemistry with each other. All of this fodder would be useless if the team can't mesh together. Pre-season games just aren't coming around quick enough!

R.I.P Rappin' with Roy.

2008-07-22T08:07:00.006-04:00

I would like to take this time to thank the Calgary Flames for signing Andre Roy to a one year contract. If the Lightning weren't going to sign him up, which they should have, I'm happy to know he's at a team with another Bolt cast away. Cory Sarich and Andre Roy are going to melt the ice with their hotness. That was ridiculously cheesy, but so very true. And you know what? Jarome Iginla is oddly attractive too. It's a good blend those Flames have. I'm happy that Roy got signed because I think he's too good of a player to not be on a team. His contract is crap though, only getting $550,000 for the year. But I suppose beggars can't be choosers considering the season he had. After reading some interviews with Andre, it seems as though he didn't feel all too secure about getting another contract with a team due to the fact that he had been scratched for 15 games and the whole Kote incident. Please refer to "Andre Roy is a Badass" for any further questions. I'm glad he's going to continue playing. And hey, maybe the Lightning will pick him back up after his year is over with the Flames. How's that for being optimistic? I definitely will be paying more attention to the Flames this season, that's for sure.

You know who I do feel really bad for? The girl that goes to practically all of the Lightning games with her Andre Roy face paint. She's a Roy super fan, and will apparently have to move to Calgary now. Bring a jacket. That's all I have to say.

Is it October yet?

2008-07-19T10:27:00.005-04:00

It's pretty bad when the only news on the Lightning website consists of the try outs to be a Lightning girl. Here is my chance to dance off rhythm! I never thought this day would come. I do believe I have found my calling in life. Wait, no... I haven't had a lobotomy yet. Maybe after I get one then it'll be my time to shine with pom poms. I firmly believe the Lightning girls serve no purpose.

At least the schedule for next season has been posted. I was definitely waiting for that. Big shout out to the administrative staff for compiling this information and releasing it prior to me signing up for classes next semester. Yes, I do plan on scheduling my classes around home games to guarantee I can go to as many as possible. I really like hockey.

Andre Roy could possibly be going to Dallas. If that were the case, I'm officially a Stars fan.

In other important Lightning news, they have added popcorn bowls to their line of merchandise. Can't you tell the off season has really slowed down, and now it's slim pickings for all bloggers? I won't lie though, I really contemplated buying myself these popcorn bowls. They would look adorable in my Tampa Bay Lightning room, next to my Lightning coasters. Maybe next paycheck!

Okay, OK and LB need to say something really stupid and have it posted all over the internet. That's how bored I am. I need them to create a little drama that I can laugh about.

Is it October yet?

Andre Roy has a posse.

2008-07-15T23:08:00.003-04:00

I don't know why this image exists on the internet. This is what actually comes up when I Google Andre Roy under Google images. Apparently he has a posse. I wonder if I can join his posse. Maybe I'll contact whoever made this image, assuming I ever find them in order to join. Part of me hopes I don't find them, because it's more funny to me this way. This image was also followed up by a comment stating that he is the brute squad. I don't even know what that means! Other photos that come up when I Google Andre consist of fans meeting him, a Canadian musician, a can of mini mulch, and this guy...

Thank you internet for all you offer me at 11:13 at night, right before I'm going to bed. I needed a good laugh! I swear I'll post something more of substance tomorrow. This was just my random "I just finished my last class for the summer and needed to do something stupid" post.

Thou Shall Covet Pittsburgh's Team.

2008-07-14T08:38:00.001-04:00

It seems as though the number one commandment of the Tampa Bay Lightning is "Thou Shall Covet Pittsburgh's Team". There most certainly has been a surge of former Penguins being put on the Lightning roster. In this off season alone, we have acquired four members of their team. I would have loved to have heard the thought process behind these drafts. On OK's list of things to do in a day, after putting pomade in that coif hair of his, the followed by "must jack members from a team that almost won the Stanley Cup". You can't really blame him though. It makes sense. In the 2002-2003, 2003-2004, and 2005-2006 seasons the Penguins didn't even qualify for the post season. Then in 2006-2007, they were second in the Atlantic division and made it all the way to the conference quarter finals. After three seasons of not making it into post season, that is pretty impressive. Is the Lightning only coveting these players simply because they were part of a Stanley Cup final team, or does the franchise actually have legitimate faith in their abilities? Truthfully, I think it might be a combination of both. If OK and LB are going to covet any players from a team, singling out Penguin players seems to be the best choice. These players will know what it takes to start from bottom and work their way up. Plus, I'm sure being that close to hoisting the cup and not being able to has probably lit a fire under their ass. Having a "so close, but yet so far" moment will drive a person.

Mark Recchi, Adam Hall, Ryan Malone and Gary Roberts were all on the Penguin roster last season. The Lightning franchise having a liking toward their team is actually an ongoing trend and not something new. Before skating with the Lightning both Michel Ouelett and Andre Roy were on the Penguins. Apparently the Penguins like our players too, having signed Fedotenko this year and with Daryl Sydor already being on their team. Hmm, I miss Fedotenko.

As of today, we've got 2 months, 2 weeks and 6 days until the season starts. Yes, I have actually been counting down since the last game the Lightning played in May. I'm sick and twisted. I'm really looking forward to seeing if this mash up of players will actually blend together and be able to exist as a team. More importantly, I'm curious to see how the players handle the Melrose coaching style. The Penguin players are going to be very used to Michel Therrien, while the Lightning players who are left standing will be used to Tortorella's hockey philosophy. The players drafted from minor leagues are going to think they have snuck into a frat party, since it seems like half of them aren't old enough to drink yet. I can see the headlines now. "New Lightning pick found passed out on University of Tampa lawn. Player stated he got lost on his way to Forum."

If the off season is this eventful, I can't even imagine what will happen when the season actually starts.

Warm and Fuzzies for Vinny

2008-07-13T11:44:00.005-04:00

Maybe it's just me, but I honestly believe signing Vinny Lecavalier to a 11 year extension is bizarre. It's all for show because you know they probably won't keep him the next 11 years. Contracts aren't what they used to be, and apparently are very easily broken as we've seen in the past year with Brad Richards and Dan Boyle. This 85 million dollar deal begins in the 2009-2010 season and salary will be 10 million dollars for the first six seasons. After that, it'll trickle down. In 2016-2017, he'll receive 8.5 million dollars, 4 million dollars the following season, 1.5 million dollars in 2018-2019, and he'll finish off his time with the Lightning with 1 million dollars in 2019-2020. 2020. I can't even think that far ahead. My god, I'll be 34 when the season ends in 2020. Hell, Vinny will be 40! Homeboy better retire after that, or he'll be the next Gary Roberts and skating way after his prime.

Although I can't help but assume the contract won't last the 11 years, it's definitely very nice for Lecavalier to know he was drafted by a team in 1998 that wants him for his whole career. That must give any player the warm and fuzzies. Plus, the paycheck doesn't hurt either. I'm glad Vinny will be on the team for quite some time though. Mostly because I think he dresses nice (or just wears nothing. refer to picture, please.) and he is doing a lot for the local hospitals. Also, I marvel at the fact that his nose is so straight and I'm sure he's gotten clocked in the face often. You see, I don't like Vinny for the fact that he actually does produce, I like him because his nose is straight. I also like him because he's bff with Brad Richards and I think it makes for a nice story. Or maybe it's the fact that he's capable of an 100 point season. You will just never know what reason it really is!

LB is the new LC.

2008-07-11T17:50:00.002-04:00

During my routine Lightning article search, I stumbled upon this quote and about died:

On Tuesday July 8th, Len Barrie was quoted in the St. Petersburg Times as saying: "I'll predict right now, Tampa Bay will win the division. That's how much we like our team."
Wednesday, Bruce Boudreau, coach of the Capitals, responded to this slight with a statement which was dripping with sarcasm: "We just hope to be in second place because Tampa says they're going win the division. So if we play good enough to get to second place, we'll be happy."

LB, you are just making friends everywhere you go, aren't you? But hey, maybe if you say this kind of crap early enough, Bruce won't remember that he clearly hates you the next time the Capitals play the Lightning. Idiots. Quit shaking your sticks around. Why do I feel like I suddenly stepped into a new episode of the Hills? LB is turning into the new LC. For those of you who live under a rock, or have a life - I'm referring to Lauren Conrad. The queen of "accidentally" getting herself into a fight with her "very best friends"!

Also in my morning research, I've noticed that Andre still hasn't been signed anywhere. Hopefully this will change because I will obviously follow the rest of his career since he is a bad ass. After reading the Q&A with Ryan Malone, I got even more sad about Andre. TBL.com asked Malone who would do the best impression of him, and he answered it with Andre. Maybe, just maybe...if no one picks up Roy, the Lightning will resign him anyway. Maybe they are making him sweat it out of punishment. I can only hope. But more than likely I'm too optimistic for my own good when it comes to him.

No one can know exactly how mad I am that they re-signed Chris Gratton today. Finding this out is equal to getting high sticked in the face. So mad. Him not being on the team was my bright light at the end of the Boyle-less tunnel. All I have to say is that they better re-sign Roy if I have to watch Gratton skate around for another year on Lightning ice.

I'm definitely more shocked about Gratton being re-signed than I am that Jay Feaster resigned. It was pretty obvious that was going to happen considering OK and LB basically made his position obsolete. They were running the show and Feaster was just sitting on the sidelines eating a pretzel.

Ch-Ch-Changes

2008-07-10T08:06:00.001-04:00

Oh wow, the Lightning actually signed a defensemen. What a completely crazy idea! Yesterday Andrew Hutchinson was signed to a two year contract. Hutchinson just finished up the 2007-2008 season playing in the AHL with the Hardford Wolf Pack. Out of 67 games, he had 18 goals and 46 assists. The year before that he was playing with the Carolina Hurricanes for two seasons, including their Stanley Cup winning season. During his season with the Wolf Pack, he was awarded the Eddie Shore Award for most outstanding defensemen. That's great to be the best in the AHL but how is that going to play into the NHL? When playing the Hurricanes, he only logged an 11 point season in 2006, and a 14 point season during 2007. Hmm... he went from 11 to 14 and then jumped to 64? I'm very interested in seeing how he plays again in the NHL after having the successful season that he did in the AHL.

Another interesting piece of information that was made official yesterday was the fact that Greg Malone was announced as head professional scout. He spent the last two seasons working for the Phoenix Coyotes and prior to that he spent 16 years with the Penguins. During his time with the Penguins he was in charge of drafting players such as Crosby, Malkin, Fleury, and Ryan Malone. Ryan Malone? Gee! That name sounds familiar. Now, the fact that Greg was taking over this position leaked right around the time that his son, Ryan Malone, was signed to the Lightning is very suspicious. Why they decided to wait til now to actually announce it officially is beyond me. Greg should feel right at home considering half of the "new" Lightning are players traded from the Penguins. Same people, different climate. But at least we do actually have Penguins here. Thank you Lowry Park Zoo, and the Florida Aquarium.

Welcome new assistant coaches Rick Tocchet, Wes Walz and Cap Raeder. Hope you don't suck. Peace out Sully. I would absolutely love to have an interview with Tortorella sometime in my life, and find out what his opinion of the new Lightning is. I'm sure what he has to say about all of the trades, and drafts would be very entertaining especially in regards to Dan Boyle. Maybe I'll write him an e-mail. But probably not.

I miss Andre already.

2008-07-09T08:23:00.005-04:00

The Lightning do not plan to resign Andre Roy. This is probably the most absurd thing I've read in the past 24 hours. Honestly. In a week's time, they've cut out three players I really liked. Don't they understand that he is a bad ass? So what if he lost his temper, threatened the lives of various hockey players, and got scratched for who knows how many games? Don't the new owners understand they need that kind of player on their team? If it's his temper, then put him through some anger management classes, but just not so many that he turns soft. As I'm writing this entry, I just got really nervous and decided my time would be better spent googling voraciously Andre Roy merchandise. Of course, they never bothered to make Andre Roy shirts because they didn't think to market him. I would be buying them all up right now. A light bulb definitely just went off in my head. Anyway, if the Lightning plan on having Roberts be their new enforcer, they are going to have to make sure he has a good life insurance policy seeing as how he's so old. He'll more than likely have a heart attack in mid swing.

Another player not being resigned? Chris Gratton. Ha. For anyone who has the Tampa Bay Lightning calendar, you know it's his picture featured for the month of July. For the rest of the month, I can look at it and laugh. Stupid Gratton.

I just write about hockey.

2008-07-08T09:12:00.001-04:00

Has anyone checked out the new intro to the Lightning page? It's really quite comical. "Owners to unite us. A coach to ignite us. Players to excite us." They use three different pictures of Barry Melrose but yet they all look EXACTLY the same. Those owners that are supposedly uniting us are currently shopping two solid forwards in order to snag one more defensemen. It seems like they aren't uniting the team, they are simply just building a new one from scratch. The only thing that coach of ours should be igniting is his mullet. And how can the players excite us if they keep getting rid of the ones the fans like and have grown accustomed too? In essence, the new intro is a bunch of bull and I don't care for it one bit. Speaking of the Lightning website, did anyone else catch how quickly Dan was taken off the main banner and replaced by Prospal? I like how Prospal now gets top billing after being traded and then brought back.

Here is something I do care for though. It seems as though the paperwork that the NHL was requiring of Artyukhin has been delivered. They now have proof of his Russian contract expiring. Arty has already signed a contract for the Lightning confirming a two year, 1.9 million dollar deal. The only thing the Lightning is missing is the deal being approved and registered with the league. It seems as though it's full steam ahead for the Russian Freight Train!

We can now add Mark Recchi to the roster as of yesterday. Recchi, a forward, was signed to a one year 1.25 million dollar contract. He played last season on both the Penguins and the Thrashers. Atlanta acquired him off waivers from the Penguins, where he only played 19 games. For Atlanta, he played 53 games and had a 40 point season with them. Stat wise, he seems solid. But don't we have enough forwards at this point in time? Shouldn't we be doing something about defense? But hey, what do I know? I just write about hockey.