tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73359412007-02-20T11:33:08.204-05:00The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1724125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335941.post-1167596207578017512007-01-01T15:15:00.000-05:002006-12-31T15:18:52.786-05:00<h2><span style="font-size:110%">Soccer Team Offers to Trade Goalie for Gas Pipeline</span></h2><span style="font-size:120%"><i>Team Previously Traded Player for Two Sets of Goalposts and Half a Pig</i></span><br /><a href="http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2126752.html?menu=">Click here</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Get live, up-to-the minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life at http://www.harrisonreport.com</div>The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335941.post-1167595365332786902006-12-31T15:00:00.000-05:002006-12-31T15:07:30.666-05:00<IMG SRC=http://www.carcosa.net/jason/blog_images/2005/07/04/african-spurred-tortoise.jpg BORDER=1 ALIGN=LEFT height=80 width=94><h2><span style="font-size:100%">Emergency Alarm Traced to Turtle Fart</span></h2><a href="http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=30678&in_page_id=2">Click here</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Get live, up-to-the minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life at http://www.harrisonreport.com</div>The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335941.post-1167434298303619472006-12-30T23:16:00.000-05:002006-12-31T15:07:50.676-05:00<a href="http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20975555-1242,00.html">Click here</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Get live, up-to-the minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life at http://www.harrisonreport.com</div>The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335941.post-1167595595008824912006-12-30T03:05:00.000-05:002006-12-31T15:08:27.580-05:00<a href="http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/04/28/exploding_german_toads/">Click here</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Get live, up-to-the minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life at http://www.harrisonreport.com</div>The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335941.post-1167361302389862472006-12-29T01:59:00.000-05:002006-12-28T22:01:42.430-05:00<IMG SRC=http://www.aviationexplorer.com/aircraft_thumbs/cont_logo.jpg BORDER=0 ALIGN=LEFT height=98 width=74><h2><span style="font-size:100%">68 Pieces of Luggage Belonging to Continental Airlines Passengers Re-Routed to Pet Store Dumpster</span></h2><a href="http://www.usatoday.com/travel/flights/2006-12-27-lost-luggage-found-in-trash-houston-pet-store_x.htm">Click here</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Get live, up-to-the minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life at http://www.harrisonreport.com</div>The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335941.post-1167277958617308822006-12-28T01:36:00.000-05:002006-12-28T22:04:45.546-05:00<h2><span style="font-size:60%;color:red"><u>SPECIAL REPORT</u></span></h2><IMG SRC=http://www.clipartheaven.com/clipart/police_&_fire/siren.gif BORDER=0 ALIGN=LEFT height=70 width=123><h2><span style="font-size:110%"><b>Cops, Paramedics Increasingly Frustrated by Emergency Callers Who Are Idiots</b></span></h2><br><h2><span style="font-size:85%;color:#4A4344"><i>* Police Alerted to Hedgehog Stuck in Noodle Container, People Taking Too Long to Buy Cigarettes</i></span></h2><a href="http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30000-13558017,00.html">Click here</a><br><h2><span style="font-size:85%;color:#4A4344"><i>* Paramedics Called for Stubbed Toe, Itchy Wrist, Help With Making Dinner</i></span></h2><a href="http://www.24dash.com/news/47/14676/index.htm">Click here</a><br><h2><span style="font-size:85%;color:#4A4344"><i>* Ambulances Summoned by Woman Who Broke Fingernail, Man Who Dreamed He Was Unconscious, TV Owner Who Had Trouble Changing Channel</i></span></h2><a href="http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2127837.html?menu=">Click here</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Get live, up-to-the minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life at http://www.harrisonreport.com</div>The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335941.post-1167262177873551442006-12-27T18:26:00.000-05:002006-12-28T17:10:26.283-05:00<IMG SRC=http://www.rogerbrendaclark.com/teddy-bear.jpg BORDER=0 ALIGN=LEFT height=98 width=74><h2><span style="font-size:100%">Federal Judge Approves Constitutional Right to Make Movie About Evil Teddy Bear</span></h2><a href="http://www.firstamendmentcenter.org/news.aspx?id=17934">Click here</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Get live, up-to-the minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life at http://www.harrisonreport.com</div>The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335941.post-1167261448471156432006-12-27T18:16:00.000-05:002006-12-27T18:17:28.473-05:00<a href="http://www.earthtimes.org/articles/show/15341.html">Click here</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Get live, up-to-the minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life at http://www.harrisonreport.com</div>The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335941.post-1167004502762544252006-12-24T18:46:00.000-05:002006-12-24T18:57:49.400-05:00<IMG SRC=http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A9iby4R0no1FwXUBcjqjzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=130jjs7g0/EXP=1166995444/**http%3a//www.rollanet.org/%7evbeydler/van/3dreview/vmdisplay_santa_standee.jpg BORDER=1 ALIGN=LEFT height=89 width=54><h2><span style="font-size:110%;color:red"><i>The Harrison Report</i> Santa Claus Update</span><br><br /><span style:"font-size:100%">* Armed Santas Rob Cell Phone Store in Mall</span></h2><a href="http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2006/12/22/2932850-ap.html">Click here</a><br><h2>* Santa Triggers Arrest of Naked Truck Driver</h2><a href="http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=30304&in_page_id=2">Click here</a><br><h2>* Gang of 100 Drunk Santas Cause Mayhem in Shopping Center</h2><a href="http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2126533.html?menu=">Click here</a><br><h2>* Santa Pronounced Dead at Christmas Party</h2><a href="http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2006590414,00.html">Click here</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Get live, up-to-the minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life at http://www.harrisonreport.com</div>The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335941.post-1166909905264236102006-12-23T16:36:00.000-05:002006-12-23T16:38:25.266-05:00<a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/thepress/westcoast/3907560a12.html">Click here</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Get live, up-to-the minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life at http://www.harrisonreport.com</div>The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335941.post-1166908101730793462006-12-23T16:06:00.000-05:002006-12-23T16:36:39.933-05:00<a href="http://news.scotsman.com/international.cfm?id=1893502006">Click here</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Get live, up-to-the minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life at http://www.harrisonreport.com</div>The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335941.post-1166839868799040862006-12-22T21:07:00.000-05:002006-12-22T23:20:57.640-05:00<IMG SRC=http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A9iby4Mhj4xFKbAApxOjzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=12sdn47vr/EXP=1166925985/**http%3a//www.enterstageright.com/archive/articles/0103/012702jongilkim.jpg BORDER=1 ALIGN=LEFT height=91 width=72><h2><span style="font-size:110%;color:red">North Korean Leader Beefs Up Military by Boosting Supply of Karaoke Machines</span></h2><a href="http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/view.php?StoryID=20061221-011329-1130r">Click here</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Get live, up-to-the minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life at http://www.harrisonreport.com</div>The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335941.post-1166836284134865352006-12-22T20:10:00.000-05:002006-12-22T20:11:24.190-05:00<a href="http://www.jacksonville.com/tu-online/stories/122106/met_6934993.shtml">Click here</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Get live, up-to-the minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life at http://www.harrisonreport.com</div>The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335941.post-1166722503268773052006-12-21T19:31:00.000-05:002006-12-21T21:34:16.646-05:00<a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20061219/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_husband">Click here</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Get live, up-to-the minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life at http://www.harrisonreport.com</div>The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335941.post-1166722859962291872006-12-21T12:39:00.000-05:002006-12-21T12:41:50.390-05:00<IMG SRC=http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A9gnMimUxopFzToBhm2jzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=12b4eb7o1/EXP=1166809108/**http%3a//www.joebrower.com/PHILE_PILE/PIX/FR/Twinkies.jpg BORDER=0 ALIGN=LEFT height=56 width=100><h2><span style="font-size:105%">California Highway Buried Under 50,000 Pounds of Hostess Twinkies</span></h2><a href="http://www.recordnet.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20061220/A_NEWS/612200323">Click here</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Get live, up-to-the minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life at http://www.harrisonreport.com</div>The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335941.post-1166674176310625052006-12-20T23:07:00.000-05:002006-12-21T12:22:49.716-05:00<IMG SRC=http://i.i.com.com/cnwk.1d/i/ne/mugs/lg/lg_chung_anshe.jpg BORDER=0 ALIGN=LEFT height=89 width=137><h2><span style="font-size:100%">CNET Interview With Virtual Real-Estate Magnate Repeatedly Sabotaged by Animated Flying Penises</span></h2><a href="http://news.com.com/Virtual+land+magnate+shares+secrets+of+her+success/2008-1043_3-6144967.html">Click here</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Get live, up-to-the minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life at http://www.harrisonreport.com</div>The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335941.post-1166673865540881032006-12-20T23:03:00.000-05:002006-12-20T23:04:25.543-05:00<a href="http://www.postcrescent.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20061219/APC0101/61219013/1003/APCnews">Click here</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Get live, up-to-the minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life at http://www.harrisonreport.com</div>The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335941.post-1166568519059675692006-12-19T17:46:00.000-05:002006-12-21T12:50:30.206-05:00<IMG SRC=http://abclocal.go.com/images/wpvi/cms_exf_2005/news/local/081306-titans-mascot-200.jpg BORDER=1 ALIGN=RIGHT height=120 width=160><h2><span style="font-size:105%">Tennessee Titans' Raccoon Mascot Sued for $20 Million for Hitting Opposing Quarterback With Golf Cart</span></h2><a href="http://www.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20061219/SPORTS01/612190358/1002">Click here</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Get live, up-to-the minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life at http://www.harrisonreport.com</div>The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335941.post-1166550895505891182006-12-19T12:52:00.000-05:002006-12-20T13:27:53.970-05:00<h2><span style="font-size:110%">Small Plane Nosedives Into Enormous Tank of Raw Sewage</span></h2><span style="font-size:120%"><i>Identity of Plane, Passengers Still Unknown Because No One Wants to Dive Into Tank to Investigate</i></span><br /><a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/12/19/BAG8JN26UK1.DTL&feed=rss.bayarea">Click here</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Get live, up-to-the minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life at http://www.harrisonreport.com</div>The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335941.post-1166483577975901142006-12-18T18:09:00.000-05:002006-12-18T18:17:00.466-05:00<IMG SRC=http://francais.makeawish.ca/images/partners/Foot-Locker.jpg BORDER=0 ALIGN=LEFT height=60 width=100><h2><span style="font-size:100%">Police Forced to Use Pepper Spray to Subdue Excited Crowds at Foot Locker Sale</span></h2><a href="http://www.courier-journal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20061217/NEWS01/612170399/1008/rss01">Click here</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Get live, up-to-the minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life at http://www.harrisonreport.com</div>The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335941.post-1166391010939434862006-12-17T16:18:00.000-05:002006-12-19T15:06:18.620-05:00<h2><span style="color:red">Woman Calls Police Emergency Line to Report That Her Trousers Don't Fit</span></h2><a href="http://www.dailytimes.com.pk/default.asp?page=2006%5C12%5C15%5Cstory_15-12-2006_pg9_3">Click here</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Get live, up-to-the minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life at http://www.harrisonreport.com</div>The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335941.post-1166389970454750252006-12-17T16:12:00.000-05:002006-12-17T16:16:47.210-05:00<a href="http://www.int.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=29&art_id=iol1166008613691S612">Click here</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Get live, up-to-the minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life at http://www.harrisonreport.com</div>The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335941.post-1167434657303469332006-12-16T18:22:00.000-05:002006-12-29T18:24:17.306-05:00<a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20061214/od_nm/astrology_driving1_dc?astrologyknowsall">Click here</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Get live, up-to-the minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life at http://www.harrisonreport.com</div>The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335941.post-1166304563950128312006-12-16T16:26:00.000-05:002006-12-16T16:29:23.953-05:00<IMG SRC=http://www.armhammer.com/images/arm_hammer_logo.jpg BORDER=0 ALIGN=LEFT height=100 width=100><h2><span style="font-size:100%">Man Sues Arm & Hammer for $425 Million for Failing to Warn That Using Baking Soda to Make Crack Cocaine Could Lead to Being Thrown in Jail</span></h2><a href="http://www.abovethelaw.com/2006/12/the_fine_line_separating_pro_s.php">Click here</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Get live, up-to-the minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life at http://www.harrisonreport.com</div>The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335941.post-1166304280453409462006-12-16T16:23:00.000-05:002006-12-16T16:24:40.490-05:00<a href="http://www.the-scientist.com/article/home/36658/">Click here</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Get live, up-to-the minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life at http://www.harrisonreport.com</div>The Harrison Reportnoreply@blogger.com