All Peas and Carrots

The Wrestler

2009-06-24T13:25:00.001-05:00

Nobody likes a fuck-up.

We tolerate liars, cheats, drunks, wife-beaters, and many murderers much better. Those idiots get picked up, dusted off, and sent back out for a second chance like a little kid who scraped his knee horsing around on the playground. But guys whose hearts are in the right place but whose instincts are all wrong? Who make a mess of everything not because they're mean but because they're just losers? Who can't catch a break and who are almost too ground-down to even try to make their own? Those knobs? Fuck those guys in their stupid fucking faces. AMIRITE?!

New Work: Nebraska Summer Writers' Conference Logo/T-Shirt

2009-05-28T11:04:00.004-05:00

If you grew up in a certain time, in a certain part of the country, and of a certain economic status, few objects are as definitively summer as the classic nylon webbed lawn chair.

I don't know how rich kids spent their summer vacations, but I'll wager it wasn't at some public campground-cum-salvage-yard swatting mosquitos and waiting for one of these flimsy aluminum deathtraps to collapse and dump them into the firepit. Or getting large swaths of leg hair ripped out every time they say down or stood up or moved or sat still or... Seriously, the backs of my thighs are perfectly hairless thanks to a childhood of summers sitting on the pinch-tastic web seats of chairs like this. None of my female cousins will even go near one while wearing a bathing suit.

A Page From My Notebook

2009-05-27T10:40:00.003-05:00

My drawing skills went AWOL some years ago, but my preferred method of brainstorming design projects remains the good ol' thumbnail sketch; just a quick something to either help focus a thought or test out a few different angles. I usually mark up my design plans with a lot more shorthand notes than shown in the Pilcrow swag sketch below, and while most of my pen-and-ink planning goes on regular-ass printer paper or the back of junk mail I keep stacked near my desk, I've been meaning to go back to carrying a notebook with me at all times, with a nod to this post on Design Observer.

New Work: Pilcrow Lit Fest Poster

2009-05-11T09:54:00.002-05:00

First, there was the Pilcrow Lit Fest website. Now, the poster. And soon, a program/schedule of events, name tags, postcards, and other event collateral. Beyond that, who knows... Tee shirts, video games, blimp signage, rub-on tattoos, and Pilcrow-inspired baby names? Stay tuned.

New Work: ipffsb.org Website Design

2009-05-02T10:58:00.003-05:00

I think it's lovely, in this age of empty self-promotion, when good work speaks for itself and clients are earned simply by reputation and word of mouth.

Earlier this spring, I did some work for the ladies of Sleepover 2.0—a logo, a website that's been shuttered for some reason, etc.—and during the Sleepover telecast, the director of the Israeli Palestinian Film Festival tracked me down, professed his love of the SO site, and asked me to redesign the IPFF site. Seeing as how I've already done work for similar events Pilcrow Lit Fest and the (downtown) omaha lit fest, I was happy to take on the project. And I'm quite taken with how the brand new ipffsb.org turned out.

The 2009 Israeli Palestinian Film Festival runs May 4-14 on the UC Santa Barbara campus.

New Work: Viva Nash Vegas Logo

2009-04-17T11:07:00.002-05:00

The best road trips usually involve lots of bathtub speed, reckless driving, half-witted county sheriffs, fistfights, buxom hitchhikers, Hell's Angels, CB radios, and jumping either a dry creek bed or moving freight train in a souped-up muscle car.

That said, road trips that skew a little tamer can be fun, too. There's plenty of time for PG-rated mayhem between scheduled bathroom pitstops, home-cooked meals waiting for you at various points in the trip, and a comped luxury hotel room waiting at your destination. This is the kind of road trip that needs it's own fancypants logo, which is where MBD comes in.

Read more about Viva Nash Vegas over on Bigmouth and say hi to the girls either via Twitter (@amyguth, @leahjones) or their show on Blog Talk Radio.

Peas and Carrots in the House, Y'all!

2009-04-04T17:03:00.002-05:00

Spotted at the Abbey Pub before a Kosha Dillz/Yak Ballz show:

Good Design is the Concept

2009-04-03T19:33:00.002-05:00

You've seen this video, yes? Or at least heard the story behind it? How, in 1976, French director Claude LeLouch mounted a gyroscopic camera on the front of a Ferrari and commissioned a Formula 1 race car driver to go all Grand Theft Auto before there was such a thing: Paris, end to end, in less than ten minutes. 140 miles per hour, running red lights, going the wrong way down skinny one-way streets, taking to the sidewalk to pass a slow moving truck, and nearly clipping spectating pedestrians, with that burly Ferrari engine growling and tires screaming for their lives the whole time.

Problem is, such an awesome display of recklessness never happened. LeLouch has admitted that the Ferrari was a Mercedes, 140 was more like 80, and the mysterious speed demon behind the wheel was the director himself.

However, knowing what you know now, watch again and tell me that nine minutes behind the wheel is any less exhilarating.

I like this video in the context of talking design because it's a perfect visual metaphor for my philosophy that design doesn't need to be concepted to death to work. Sure, it makes for a good if not gimmicky presentation to the client when you can say you chose a color because, say, its PMS value is exactly one-third of the year the company was founded, but just as LeLouch's video is badass regardless of backstory, neither should design rely on the crutch of a nebular concept to be impactful.

And what do you know, Paul Rand agrees with me. (Dig the afro mullet on Miggs B.)

I Call This One The Jewel/Osco "Pathetic Bachelor Special"

2009-03-29T12:43:00.003-05:00

Man, few images could sum up ages 22-29 for me more succinctly than this clipping from the weekly Jewel circular. What's the girl version of this sad, sad dinner for one? Lean Cuisine, box of white zin, and a single rose?

The MBD Endorsement: Destroy Twitter

2009-03-28T15:57:00.003-05:00

Now that everyone in the world is using stupid Twitter, you're going to need a way to view and filter the oodles of retarded dreck, e-noise, and 140-character infomercials from people who, if they behaved in such a self-aggrandizing way in person, you'd never speak to twice.

Twitter's web interface is lousy slow on my iMac so I've turned to Destroy Twitter. Contrary to some blog flack bemoaning its lack of features, DT, an Adobe Air app, is hands-down my favorite Twitter tool. It's great looking, has a sweet name, and does everything I—as a decidedly non power user—need it to. If DT also came as an iPhone app I'd totally marry it.

Hey, wouldn't it be cool if someone made a Twitter client called Tw@? I'd pay for that.

Download Destroy Twitter here. Now go outside and speak to an actual person, you pasty subnormal!

New Work: interactiveAmy.com Logo Design

2009-03-28T14:56:00.002-05:00

I don't take on a lot of logo design work but if all potential clients came to me with their vision as thought-out as Amy of interactiveAmy.com did, I would definitely do more.

Seriously, this one practically designed itself. iA knew the colors she wanted to use, knew she wanted something bold, and together we had the logo for her fledgling social media consulting venture designed, printed on business cards, and gracing her website in less than two weeks. That girl is a doer. And she tweets a lot, so I guess she's, like, a super rockstar at social media.

My Mechanic Is Clever

2009-03-19T10:44:00.003-05:00

That oily thumbprint? It's printed on. Part of the design. Simply outstanding.

It's Like a Grid Within a Grid Wrapped in a Grid

2009-03-09T12:49:00.002-05:00

That epileptic ADD banner may be gone, but the new Pitchfork site redesign is still wicked hard to look at. Everything is all crammy and bled-together, the logo is as bland as an acoustic Jet b-side, and they don't even have a favicon. Hey, Pitchfork: The World Wide Web called from 1996 and it wants its address bar back.

/Theta Quadrant'd

This Ain't Stealing: Wavvves

2009-03-07T12:29:00.005-06:00

Funny, because I'm not 17 anymore and this isn't the last week of school before summer break and Brad no longer owns that shitted-out Honda Civic, but fuck I feel like getting a couple 40s, maybe heading over to Bobs house to scrounge for some weed or snacks or Monster League Football and killing time until the show tonight where there'll be more weed, booze, and chicks who pay no attention to us so we'll go pick up Charlie and maybe smash some mailboxes or push a lawnmower into a pool before we get some gas station nachos and swing back by Bob's to grab that last half bottle of vodka and meet up with these other girls we met at that party last week that got busted and we had to hide in the basement for two hours and Seth pissed in the laundry basket because he couldn't hold it until the cops left but those girls were kind of ugly and I'm still pretty hungry and Brad says Suzanne is having a party tonight so why don't we go over there and get some food or steal some of her dad's beer out of the garage fridge, I mean, I don't have to work tomorrow until two, so, yeah, let's go...

Download Wavvves here.

Obligatory disclaimer: I didn't upload this file. I only found the link. You want me to take it down? Just ask.

New Work: Sleepover2.0 Website Design

2009-02-22T11:07:00.002-06:00

The newest addition to my portfolio (which, by the way, can be found here and will, later this week, be updated to include this and other new work) is the anthropomorphic spokeslogo and website for Sleepover2.0, a webcam slumber party broadcast from the Hotel Sax in downtown Chicago. (Not what you think, perv-o, but still worth tuning in to.) Hit up the Sleepover2.0 site for all the details and, as always, email me if your own site is in need of a makeover.

Hear That, Kids? BROWN!

2009-02-11T10:58:00.002-06:00

That new Pilcrow site I was telling you about is now live. Do check it out. Many, many thanks to my brother-in-law and Wolta Christmas Madden Tournament foil Eric for his top-notch and super quick work translating the site design into blog form. I've granted him a two game head start in the '09 tourney for his efforts, which should leave no doubt as to how much I appreciate the work. [Now get a website, holmes.]

On Acquiescence

2009-02-08T09:39:00.000-06:00

Sigh. I suppose if Madison Square Garden can endorse Kobe for MVP, I can learn to toot my horn online. Follow me on Twitter to watch firsthand as social media jumps the shark .

Who Wants To Be Billy Martin Anyway?

2009-02-06T17:04:00.000-06:00

Not me. I always fancied myself more of an Earl Weaver guy.

Totally unrelated: Anyone want to buy a slightly-used kidney? If you call before cocktail hour starts, I'll throw in a free liver.

New Projects: Pilcrow Lit Fest Website

2009-02-02T10:58:00.002-06:00

Since early Saturday afternoon—with a short break yesterday—I've been hard at work on a new website for the good folks behind Pilcrow Lit Fest. I'm not going to show you what it looks like just yet, but it's almost finished (I work fast when I'm inspired by good people with big ideas doing creative things) and I couldn't be happier with how it's turning out. A tiny hint: I'm bringing back brown. Expect the full reveal in a week or so.

Super Bowl Predictions

2009-01-31T23:04:00.001-06:00

+ The Super Bowl marks the end of the NFL postseason, and as such, I will shave my beloved playoff beard. I'll miss Old Scratch, but the week to cultivate my Pro Bowl 'Stache will ease that pain.

+ This year's Super Bowl logo [pictured] will go down as the worst one since last year's version. Seriously, what's with the turrible logos this decade? I never thought I'd yearn for the design aesthetics of the late 80s and early 90s, but there you have it.

+ Jennifer Hudson will stretch the anthem past two minutes, most likely breaking down in tears at some point but with the help of Jesus power and Obama strength, will recover to end with the trilliest of overwrought flourishes. "Fun" fact: Even if JHud butchers the anthem for an interminable 120 seconds, she still won't make the honor roll for the longest anthem in SB history.

+ Save to cash in on my anthem wager, I will watch a combined zero mintues of pregame and halftime festivities. Just show me the game, TV! All that other MTV'd-out, yay-America pomp is for the dishrags who "don't really get pro football" and print out scorecards to rate the commercials. These are the same people who serve veggie spring rolls and have quirky napkin rings (and for that matter, napkins) at their Super Bowl party. Spring rolls are not Super Bowl food! Super Bowl food is fatty and greasy and barbecue-y. To wit...

+ I will eat so much shitty food washed down by so many shitty beers that there's a good chance I won't have the motor skills or brain function to change the channel or stand up under my own power and will therefore end up watching the episode of The Office that NBC will air immediately after the game. Truthfully, I didn't know what show was slated to follow the game until I looked it up just now. This is different from two weeks ago during the AFC Championship Game when Jim Nantz couldn't let three plays go by without plugging The Mentalist—whatever that is—on CBS.

+ I'll get sucked into the Puppy Bowl for half of the third quarter and won't mind a bit.

+ The Pittsburgh Steelers will win, in a not-great game. It will be a little sloppy and mostly lackluster. In other words: It will be a normal Super Bowl, like 37 or so of the 42 before it. Final score: Steelers 27, Cardinals 17.

+ Regardless, Larry Fitzgerald will have another silly crazy game and the world will anoint him the Best Wide Receiver in the NFL®, like they did to Randy Moss last year. Fitzy's bananas postseason has all but assured that he won't be around in the fifth round of my '09 fantasy draft, where I plucked him (to great success) this year.

+ Sweetpea, surveying the wreckage that has become of her formally generally kempt and civil husband, will, at some point in the afternoon, Google "annulment + illinois + football" with fingers crossed.

+ Lucky for me, she will not pull the trigger and I'll have until early August to atone for my loutish behavior before the whole NFL cycle repeats itself.

This Kind Of Explains A Lot

2009-01-27T19:35:00.002-06:00

The only backstory you need to know about this little nugget is that it gets mailed to me every month along with my 401k statement. And with each mailing, several questions arise. Questions such as: Why are you mailing me a blank sheet of paper? And, Do printed words declaring a sheet of paper blank an actual blank sheet of paper make? And lastly, Didn't I have, like, way more money than this last time?

You're Frozen When Your Heart's Not Open

2009-01-18T15:53:00.001-06:00

This endless expanse of craggity ice and claustrophobic grey sky is a photo of Lake Michigan taken several weeks ago, before the mercury in all my cartoon thermometers shot out the bottom of the bulb, screamed down the wall, and smashed a hole clean through the floor. God bless winter in Chicago.

As Promised: My Cat!

2009-01-16T15:56:00.004-06:00

Chairman Meow and I have a routine. It works for us. While I'm working, he sprawls out on the desk next to my computer and occasionally bats at the mouse. When I get up to make coffee, shred a paper, or peek in on SportsCenter, he hops down into my chair and immediately goes to sleep. He's basically the best Oscars seat-filler ever.

Logos Save Lives

2009-01-16T13:14:00.004-06:00

Here's a fun game. A friend sent this to me yesterday, along with a challenge to guess, based solely on that bipmap repro, what product/service/company is being represented:
"Skateboard sold at CVS for $9.99 in 1993?" I replid. "The second best-selling pineapple malt liquor in Four Corners dollar stores? Non-sanctioned women's roller derby squad?"

Sadly, by virtue of being for girls, my roller derby theory was closest, as the logo above belongs to Zonta International, a "global organization of executives and professionals working together to advance the status of women worldwide through service and advocacy," an admirable and worthwhile endeavor if I've ever heard one, but one that isn't being served by what often amounts to the public's first impression of the organization.

No one is saying that because Zonta caters to the XX set that their logo needs to be all pink cupcakes and pegasi. And maybe in the grand scheme of battling poverty, illiteracy, AIDS, genital mutilation, and human trafficking, a really slick logo is kind of superfluous. Then again, the perfect logo could be the cornerstone of an overall rebranding, one that helps to elevate the public's awareness and perception of a given organization, which in turn brings in more donations, which allows for more aid programs, which affects greater change until all the world's problems are solved forever.

Hey, it could happen.

I read an article on Designer Observer recently about the many ways design can thrive during a recession. One of those ways was the phenomenon of out-of-work designers with nothing to do but monitor the tanking of their retirement accounts turning their attention to the non-profit sector and throwing a few altruistic hours the way of an organization that needs but maybe can't budget for a revamped website, some polishing to their newsletters, or even, you know, a new logo. (Just not this one. This one is spoken for. Find your own selfless act.)

A Snowflake Fell And It Felt Like A Panther Swipe

2009-01-14T10:38:00.002-06:00

It's not quite the blizzard Amy Freeze and Co. were promising but there is a bunch of snow and single digit temps settling over Chicago this morning. Score another one for freelancers, very few of whom will be grumbling about their hypothermic commutes to work this week.

Let's all listen to Glasvegas:
A Snowflake Fell (And It Felt Like A Kiss)
Glasvegas