ClergySpirit

Fun Summer Read

2009-07-14T21:35:00.005-05:00

As part of the "Self Hurt" series, the title attracted me- How to Have an Ill Behaved Dog.

After adopting a dog from the shelter in May, I wouldn't have been the least bit interested in a typical dog obedience manual. This one, however, takes the monotony out of the genre with an off beat approach. It states the obvious in a sarcasm that is funny and creative. Among other things, it suggests that friends really don't find the stories about your IBD (ill behaved dog) very interesting, and what's more, they probably find your dog's crotch-sniffing offensive.

The theme seems to be that most of us choose chaos-- to be controlled by our dogs. We sink to their basic level of physical, health, and belonging needs while ignoring their needs (and ours) for consistent boundaries. The other thing the book points out is the poor planning we use in choosing a dog to fit our perceived emotional needs rather than finding one that will make a good fit with our family and life style.

Especially if you're looking at future dog ownership or if you're a new owner, you'll enjoy and benefit from this book. The best nugget was the explanation as to why dogs usually learn to bark and growl at mail carriers. It's because their racket is always reinforced by the fact that the mail person's departure quickly follows their bellowing. Of course, it's because of the din of the dog that makes the post person leave.

BTW, other interesting titles in the series include how to get fat, procrastinate, traumatize your children, etc.

Just Wondering- On Memorials

2009-07-08T08:41:00.002-05:00

Why the total disconnect of the past ten days- between visual media (especially national cable T.V.), which have been covering Michael Jackson's death ad nauseum and the local radio stations, where he and the Jackson Five have been totally absent in the same time frame.

What the Jackson family was thinking and feeling- especially Michael's children- when Stevie Wonder, whose music I love, said that God needed Michael more than we did. For me, this confirms that musicians should focus on their art and refrain from theologizing. I think this is also true of church musicians who sometimes can end up opinion- sharing and distancing the congregation instead of leading worship and bringing together.

When people are in grief, we can say some interesting and also weird things. One marked change over the last 25 years, I believe, has been the number of close friends, especially family, who are speaking at memorials and funerals in our churches. This is sometimes good in that the service can be more individualized, and a little less formalized.

On the other hand, you don't want these same folks, who are also in grief, to feel pressured or to be too anxious about breaking down in the middle of their talk. Normally, a person can determine if they will be able to speak or not. However, in grief we can't always know or say what we'll be up to doing.

Then there's the time factor. As officiating pastor, I offer to read comments written by a family member. I remember wanting to say a few words at my brother's memorial a few years back, but I just couldn't put it into words of a short duration, so I refrained. Then, a few years later at my Dad's memorial, I managed to share a few memories just fine.

On not grabbing

2009-07-07T08:00:00.003-05:00

While the appeal to greater control is very attractive and a cultural idol of sorts, the wisdom of letting go, though it's counter-cultural, is neglected. This sets people up for greater, not less, disappointment and loss.

If we let go we would be freer--freer of the illusion of control, the lie that life's about getting first and then, second, clutching what's ours. Ethicist Waldo Beach long taught that biblical freedom has two sides: freedom and deliverance from bondage and freedom for responding to God and neighbor.

Where are you stuck, and don't even know it? From what do you need to be freed? How will you surrender and let God love and heal you, even the parts you've always gripped so tightly? What do you need in order to be free for God and the people with whom you work and live?

In what ways will you "choose life" and open a closed fist today?

July 6 John Huss Festival*

2009-07-06T11:38:00.003-05:00

The Moravian Church, our spiritual mothers and fathers, celebrates July 6 as a watershed event in their heritage and history.

John Wesley's spiritual director and mentor, Peter Bohler, was a Moravian pastor. On a ship destined for Wesley's new mission field of Georgia, Wesley wrote of the faith of the Moravians on board as they sang Psalms through the most dangerous and threatening of seas. Wesley, terrified, was not singing, but looked on in amazement.

And then it was at a Moravian meeting that Wesley heard the words of Luther's Preface to Romans, and as he did, his heart was strangely warmed with the knowledge and newly found assurance that Jesus had died for him, forgiven him, and freed him from the law of sin and death.

In speaking of her sons Charles' and John's new experience of assurance and God's love in Jesus, Susanna stated that it wasn't about having faith, it was more about the "uniting of head and heart," and an encounter for which they had been searching for some time.

Is your faith something that others are drawn to, attracted to, or repulsed by? Or, do others at least find your faith the least bit interesting? Somehow whatever John Wesley witnessed on a ship made him both seeker of and searched by the One whose name is Love.

*On July 6, 1415, John Hus was martyred at the Council of Constance.

Is all Scripture Equal?

2009-07-02T12:40:00.004-05:00

An Old Testament professor called attention to the pejorative use of "old," the term Christians use in referring to that part of the Hebrew Bible that is Christian Canon. His own efforts were aimed at encouraging me and my fellow divinity classmates to remove the blinders, the New Testament lenses, that prevent us from seeing the whole of Scripture as Canon, "old" or "new."

The question regarding the equality of Scripture is a good one. Do I as pastor or even participant, omit parts of a reading because of the needs of the situation? For example, there's a reading from the funeral liturgy in the Episcopal church from Lamentations 3, and verses 31 and 32 were the ones I once omitted as family member not as officiating clergy: 'For the Lord will not reject forever. Although he causes grief..."

So the idea of the Lord rejecting us (even though not forever), and God causing grief is tough to proclaim or suggest to a room filled with mourners. But this question brings others: Should we bend the reading to be pastoral and if so, when? Most of us choose from already selected texts what to read at a service based on the appropriateness of the text.

But is that the easy way out? In omitting parts of the reading for the needs of the situation, do I take away others' gift to hear the whole text, to struggle over it for themselves, and to make their own conclusions? Should discomfort with the apparent dissonances be something we expect others to handle for themselves, or should we make it easier by not dealing with that issue in a time of grief and bewilderment, a time that is already difficult enough. There are no easy, black and white answers.

With Lamentations, the cries of grief are written for us to read and hear. They represent the gut-wrenching, illogical, messy, angry, confusing process that grief is. In all our mental confusion, is it sometimes comforting, in a mysterious way, to know there is someone to blame: God? That's a cry to the One who created us to grieve. That's different than claiming God causes suffering, which many would hear mistakenly (in my opinion) as representative of an authentic Christian faith and theology.

Mailbag: Public Option

2009-07-02T10:22:00.002-05:00

This recent comment on my recent post on the Public Option for health care insurance was so good I had to post it:

Joe said...

My reply--

Well, Joe, I'm sure that the over 40+ million men and women, and children without a doctor or insurance can all sleep better thanks to your fair and balanced comment. Knowing how you like the facts yourself, I was crestfallen that you neither mention any facts nor cite any of your suggested good studies.

You know the book reviews only represent a tad of my reading material. I'm now on my 8th (or is it 18th?) time through Das Capital, and I've continued daily passages from the Communist Manifesto, so don't judge a blog or its writer by its reviews alone, or whether it fits your idea of "christian."

I know you don't like my use of "guvmunt," so I want to express appreciation to you for refraining from name calling yourself, and not using words like elitist, silly, and unseemly to describe your opposition. But calling me a windmill tilter, well, that's really poetic, Joe.

Change in a Culture of Contentment

2009-06-26T10:27:00.005-05:00

John Kenneth Galbraith's theory of social change seems to hold up in that there's no change until enough people get ticked off enough to organize and vote to make it happen. It's called the Misery Index. That's the question regarding the public option for health insurance. If it happens it's because enough of us who are doing OK find it intolerable that 40+ million men, women, and children are unprotected.

Again, the question about the critical mass for change is relevant. It would seem that the 2008 election answered that question. In addition, it appears that the misery index- the anger and frustration over the greed and neglect in the present system is outstripping the fear of change, "Trojan horses" notwithstanding. Besides, most are clueless about what that analogy means anyway.

We come back to Galbraith's theory of social change- that people really don't care about changing anything until their own contentment is threatened. Does the same thing hold true for personal and community change? What about changes in spirituality? Do we value our contentment and prize a comfortable life at all costs? And once that is messed with, then and only then do we think about moving, changing?

Though I hate to admit it, that strain is in me, because I like the path of least resistance and choose it regularly. That's why practices and disciplines of the spirit are so helpful-- they can tame our animal adaptation to pleasure and help us to live beyond just our own contentment, where we can experience God's grace and life as gift, not possession. Disciplines like prayer, study, gratitude are not "add- ons." Rather, they are the medicines, the daily prescriptions if you will, that keep us from grabbing our way through life. And grabbing from others.

More Choice is Better!

2009-06-25T09:00:00.005-05:00

Remember when the "deserving poor" first hit the PC talking points of the Reagan Revolution? The memorable movie, Pursuit of Happyness, told the story of what it was like to be poor and out on the street in those days. Other phrases like the "truly needy" were used over against examples of welfare cheats, so that it seemed there were just as many, or maybe more people, ripping off the system, than being helped by it.

"Homeless" was another word that cropped up too. As mental health patients were released en mass from closing treatment centers, they would somehow be transformed into healthy people who would take their meds, and get a job as well as a place to live. In counseling the unemployed, the Great Communicator suggested that we check the want adds. To make it easier for Americans to get a healthy diet, he suggested that ketchup be considered a vegetable.

The New American Poverty Micheal Harrington so well documented and described in the "me" decade of the 1980's has come full circle. Now millions of working and even middle class families totter on the edge of poverty, one health calamity away from it. While millions are still uninsured, many politicos still shriek the refrain of "socialized medicine" and bureaucrats "getting between me and my doctor."

But those phrases are beginning to sound as senseless as the "deserving poor" now does. Those who use them do so only to churn the gut, but don't use logic or economics. The reason why everything is too costly is because the middle man called insurance makes health care the for profit enterprise it is. And that behemoth doesn't want a public option, instead, it wants more public funds sent its way. It knows that if greed is taken out of the equation, then more and more will choose the public option.

Now, insurance companies not the "guvmunt" get between me and my doctor. They tell me what treatments I can and cannot have, what tests will be paid for, and to what extent. To do this, both companies and providers hire teams to haggle. The goal of the company is to pay for less, while the goal of the provider should be dispensing the best medical care. But, when almost 50 million people are not apart of the system (except when other "customers" foot the bill), then it's "broke" and past time to fix it.

Friends

2009-06-08T08:00:00.005-05:00

Like hobbies, we need to be able to identify our friends. Because our work as pastors is very relational, when I took my first appointment, a student pastorate in a small textile- mill town in North Carolina, I remarked to an old college friend from Texas, that being a pastor was LIKE being a friend. Friendship was the most comparable frame I had at the time- 29 years ago.

In discussing a theology of ordination, No Longer Servants draws on friendship love not servant-hood as the metaphor in describing the person and work of the pastor. I like it because it is a corrective to some of the abuses of servanthood. Regardless of where you stand normatively, the question is, who are your true friends?

Can the same people you pastor also be your friends? In a word, no. Not because you cannot support each other mutually as Christ's body, but because their receiving spiritual care from you does not include your getting friendship in return. To be among friends means that I can be myself, totally, and, while I overlook and learn to accept the "that's who they are" aspect of others, they also can learn to tolerate that in me.

So while, aspects of friendship love (mutual support, trust, communication, respect) are very important in all we do as church and clergy, it's just not fair to expect others who are in our care to be our friends.

So the question returns, who are your friends and do you spend regular time with them? If I blow that question off, then I start expecting things from people that they cannot be expected to provide.

Thinking About Sabbaticals, 2

2009-06-04T08:00:00.005-05:00

Clergy sabbatical, we hardly knew ye! It's not that we haven't ever heard of them, it's just that we've never known anyone to take one. At least I haven't heard of many UMC clergy doing so.

Popular author and church-planter Wayne Cordiero in Running on Empty chronicles what drove him, literally, to create sabbatical for himself. Faced with a nervous breakdown and never having taken a rest, he talked his doctor's advice down from one year to 3-4 months. Cordiero was battling both severe energy depletion and depression.

The recovery is holistic, even if the signs don't appear to be. Sometimes when people speak of "nervous breakdown," it's code for anxiety disorder, like panic and/or agoraphobia (the fear of having panic attacks). I consider these symptoms warnings that our physical, as well as emotional health, is being compromised and will be damaged further without appropriate action.

The UMC Discipline allows for clergy sabbaticals as tailored between the church and pastor. Here are words from the UMC Book of Discipline, P. 352:

A sabbatical leave should be allowed for a program of study or travel by the conference Board of Ordained Ministry. [Clergy members] in full connection who have been serving in a full-time appointment for six consecutive full-time years....may be granted a sabbatical leave for up to one year. Whenever possible, the compensation level of the last appointment served before the leave should be maintained in the appointment made at the termination of the leave.

This is nice talk allowing sabbaticals to happen, but as far as financial support during the rest, even if the proper channels are followed and the time off is approved, this is not a leave "with pay." Difficulty with funding your sabbatical is the real reason I believe why most full-time clergy never take a rest. Also note that a rest is not necessarily the same as a "study program" mentioned above.

Thinking About Sabbaticals, 1

2009-06-03T01:18:00.006-05:00

Why are extended sabbaticals so uncommon in the UMC?

Roman Catholic clergy and religious are expected to take a regular extended sabbatical. Even though the research suggests that a sabbatical is needed in every seventh year of full time ministry, I know few in the UMC who have even taken one in their whole career! I wonder if the work ethic is such that we look at D.Mins, study leaves, family leaves, or book writing as "sabbaticals," even though they are not filled with rest and refilling as much as work and emptying. But working just sounds more productive!

Financial support for an 3+ month sabbatical? In the UMC, it's is up to the clergy person to fund it- there are no built in sources of support while you are resting. The result is what we have, which is, the vast majority of us do not ever take an extended sabbath.

In churches that allow you to carry over vacation days from one year to the next, you could save enough to carry over some time, if only a few weeks. But most would prefer not to give up their vacation time with others.

One spiritual director said that those churches that encourage sabbaticals do so because they have learned the dire consequences of NOT doing so. Too bad we have to learn by avoiding pain rather than choosing life.

The Fountain of Life from St. Columbanus

2009-05-20T12:44:00.006-05:00

O God, you are yourself that fountain ever and again to be desired, ever and again to be consumed...Inspire our hearts, I ask you, Jesus, with that breath of your Spirit; wound our souls with your love, so that the soul of each and every one of us may be able to say in truth: "Show me my soul's desire," for I am wounded by your love.

These are the wounds I wish for, Lord. Blessed is the soul so wounded by love. Such a soul seeks the fountain of eternal life and drinks from it, although it continues to thirst and its thirst grows ever greater even as it drinks.

Therefore, the more the soul loves, the more it desires to love, and the greater its suffering, the greater its healing. In this same way may our God and Lord Jesus Christ, the good and saving physician, wound the depths of our soul with a healing wound- the same Jesus Christ who reigns in unity with the Father and the Holy Spirit, for ever and ever.

"For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received a spirit of adoption. When we cry "Abba! Father!" it is that very Spirit bearing witness with out spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ--if, in fact, we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him." Romans 8:15-17 NRSV

How is Spiritual Direction Different?

2009-05-11T11:32:00.010-05:00

The best definition of spiritual direction I've seen, especially as compared to pastoral counseling and therapy: "Psychotherapy is interested primarily in self-understanding, pastoral counseling in self determination, and spiritual direction in self-surrender to the discerned will of God."

from James Fenhagen, Invitation to Holiness, p.47

Taboo of Clergy Burnout Addressed in New Release

2009-05-09T09:03:00.001-05:00

A spiritual director once asked me the most difficult question I've had to answer as a pastor: "Who listens to you?" God and/or spouse were not one of the choices. At the time, I was on an individual spiritual retreat in the mountains far away from my parish, and she was asking one the basic questions that many church leaders, clergy and otherwise, avoid. Are you leading on empty? is another way to ask the same question.

That's why I am so grateful for the bent of Wayne Cordeiro's Leading on Empty. Cordeiro is a successful church planter and pastor. He speaks around the world. The book is a multifaceted approach to the costs not taking care of ourselves, such as burnout and depression. In continually referencing his own story of recovery from suffering a nervous breakdown, Cordeiro, doesn't attempt a "one size fits all" paradigm for health, but rather, offers wisdom and insight as someone who's been there. Moreover, his continued recovery- and struggles- adds authenticity to his account.

Cordeiro's willingness to share his experience is what is so helpful. His physician told him that, in order to recover his health and heal his energy reserves, he would need to take a year off from any ministry role. Arguing that one year was out of the question, Cordeiro's physician then told him to take six months off. They finally both agreed on a three month time line. This fit into the summer season. Much of the book, then, is about what Cordeiro has learned in the recovery, and choosing life-changes necessary for long term health and functioning in ministry.

For example, instead of waiting for a crisis, which most highly functioning pastors will probably experience sometime after seven years of ministry, monitor your energy level. You can do this by finding an aspect of ministry, a mission, that you really enjoy- where the energy seems to flow almost naturally.

Although doing our passion offers a God-given immunity from depleting our reserves, the fire can also burn us up, so certain disciplines are non-negotiable, according to Cordeiro. One is daily time for a spiritual discipline. The book suggests starting with reading a chapter of Proverbs a day for a month. Try the SOAP model daily (read the Scripture text, record or journal your Observations on the text and Actions in response to it, and finally, let the text lead you in what and how to Pray).

Some other non-negotiables are time away, family time, and spiritual counsel. Time away should be a regular practice, and the book suggests something equal to a full day of sabbath once a month, combined with a two- three months each year. Sabbaths are not the same as a weekly "day off." A suggested schedule for the sabbath day includes journaling, reading, study, setting priorities, and calendaring strategically. No phone calls or emails, or text-ing though. Another non-negotiable is time and connection with family and vacationing with them once they are young adults. Seeking the guidance of a therapist and/or a spiritual mentor, companion or director will provide you with what you are offering to others: someone who listens to you in love and who can see what you cannot see in yourself.

We cannot, finally, offer what we do not have. That, to me, is the gift of Leading On Empty. Everyone wants to be able to give from a full cup. Isn't it better to maintain that reserve rather than running until we hit the wall? Cordeiro's book invites us to begin and continue that journey toward wholeness and holiness. Just don't wait for the crisis as he did.

Hanging by a Thread

2009-05-04T09:00:00.000-05:00

My one-time allergist looked at my nose and just quipped, "OK, but you're hanging by a thread." Living in Houston since late '86, I've found many ways to cope with vulnerability to sinus problems. I've tried a little of everything to avoid various infections. At the time of the exam, I thought I was doing much better than just hanging by a thread!

The doc's rather rude awakening is the gift of being brutally honest, one we all need at times I'm sure. Spiritually though, maybe the best thing we can do is to let go of whatever we're holding onto so tightly. Like the young boy who can't jump down from the tree he just climbed, we'd be free if we only we'd let go. Our world, our horizon would burst open as a result. And we'd be on the ground, safely home.

Someone told me to tie a knot when I feel like I'm dangling by a thread, but for some reason, that doesn't help me. I can hear those words in the mouths of Job's friends. I tell people to hang in there all the time, so that's also a judgment on me. I've come to see that hanging or tying knots are not really the best metaphors for the spiritual life, even if they might be used by a good physician.

Serving/Surrender

2009-05-04T00:55:00.002-05:00

In serving others, I surrender control of the situation. Jesus' own example of washing the smelly and dung encrusted feet of his disciples in John 13 embodies this particular kind service.

One of the most difficult things for most, not all, is to be on the receiving end of someone else's service. When I was very young, I remember getting up early and trying to prepare breakfast for the whole family. I only remember pouring juice, milk, and getting cereal out. To jazz it up a little, I rifled through the buffet and set some party favors out. When the family came down, they showed a mixture of dismay, laughter, and maybe one or two thanks. "Don't do that again" was the message. I didn't shake the juice and it came out in various shades, which I thought was fine.

But receiving service is awkward, especially for people who've been out there giving and in control all their life. The change in roles can be difficult, even devastating. When I worked among retirees and the infirm, one of the most asked questions was just "Why am I still here?" And part of the answer is that in receiving most of the time, we give others an opportunity to share their gifts. We are created for both giving and receiving love; sad we do one often at the expense of the other: either burnout or isolation.

It's appropriate that this week's practice is to spend some time with the Covenant Prayer. In it, we surrender our agendas, power, and control. Remember that Jesus' disciples often tried to manipulate the situation for their own advantage. True service, however, sets us free and usually has the same result on the recipient.

Giving/Generosity- the stuff isn't mine

2009-04-23T05:12:00.004-05:00

This week's habit of the heart is giving- practicing generosity with our money and time. It seems a natural extension of simplicity because uncluttering frees us to be more generous with people.

We become whatever we worship. What we worship is not about being in church on the weekend, but what has our attention most of the time. It's our ultimate concern. As we think, so we are. If our mind is filled with possessions, other people, responsibilities, then we will take on the nature of that stuff. We will be possessed by whatever owns our thoughts. Addictions destroy our humanity, our freedom. If you're an addict, you're decision making is radically compromised. And so is God's image in you.

But becoming dispossessed includes the additional, proactive step of giving away. In worship of the One and Only, we are free to do so. Because of the affirmation in Psalm 24 that earth is the Lord's- and everything in it- we don't really own anything or anyone.The stuff isn't mine! So our relationship to possessions can be healed to one of caregiver, regardless of whatever we learned and experienced in our family of origin regarding them.

One of the most helpful ways of practicing this habit is, of course, doing it. Donate your stuff, your time, your services, your money if you can. Also, discipline your self in a regular practice of gratitude of some sort. Gratitude is a vaccine for the entitlement virus which saps our spirit and twists our relationships. It's not only good for us, it does good.

Try revisiting one of the prayer practices we have already experienced for this week: daily breath prayer, a prayer walk, or prayer and fasting.

Simplicity/Uncluttering: Need a Detox?

2009-04-23T04:34:00.003-05:00

Becoming like a child in wonder and amazement is basic for the spiritual quest. We are overwhelmed by the clutter of too much. Many businesses use "clutter" consultants who will help you detox your living and work spaces- cars, offices, and homes- crammed with junk. My metaphor for this clutter are gatherings of single socks with no mates. Since I do the laundry most of the time, the thought of what do to with all this mismatched stuff is symbolic of all the energy lost wondering about it. And brain energy is not recouped in multitasking- instead, the process of refocusing our attention makes our brains "start over" continually.

To me, the virtue of the child we lose as adults is energy and learning. We clog our life reserves on clutter. Too, there's a cultural bias against being a beginner. Most managers need to know how to provide quick answers and to be able to explain things to people up and down the ladder. But if you can't be a beginner, then you miss what he child has to offer- the new eyes that leads to mostly unexpected discoveries! And one of the great gifts of the spiritual quest in Jesus Christ is the continual invitation to start new, fresh, as a beginner, to be recreated and renewed in God's image.

Practicing the habit of simplicity suggests that we do something that allows us to detox from clutter and for me, giving stuff away that is no longer useful to me, such as books, magazines, etc. Prayer/fasting is the recommended spiritual practice, appropriate, because fasting done right is known for purifying our bodies of unwanted toxins- clutter. But wherever you are with simplicity, the invitation is always there for us.

God Won't Give You Aything You Can't Handle- Really?

2009-04-18T01:27:00.002-05:00

How the heck did this little ditty come to be as familiar as the Apostles Creed in popular American Christian belief?! I'm not even sure it's something that Ben Franklin would say, even though most people think the happy Deist's "God helps those who help themselves" is somewhere in the Bible, maybe Proverbs 3 or 4.

No, the unfortunate phrase is a very loose paraphrase of I Corinthians 10:13 which states that when we are tempted, God will not allow us to be tempted beyond our ability to endure, but with the temptation will provide a way out (exodus). These words follow Paul's illustration of the Israelites' idolatry in the wilderness as an example not to follow.

Some conclude, as the saying suggests, that God therefore gives us trials and temptations and that these cover anything and everything- events like hurricanes and earthquakes. To me it's clear that it's in the temptation that God provides a way out. Temptation is not from God- it's humanity's problem. "God tempts no one," James wrote. So I have a basic disagreement that God supposedly "gives us" really bad stuff-- just enough so that we bend but don't break!

Besides theological concerns, I also have practical, pastoral concerns with this line of belief. What about the stuff God "gives us" that we cannot handle? We- all of us- are so easily broken and overwhelmed. "Whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger" is a lie. Instead, as traumas are experienced throughout life, we may well become more, not less, fragile. With PTSD and other anxiety disorders, there is and can be recovery and healing- physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

But please don't discount or deny the real human-God work required in that recovery by using this line on others. If it works for you, well then, it's for you. And neither Ben Franklin nor St. Paul said it.

Trusting/Faith When I Have Learned to Distrust

2009-04-14T16:08:00.004-05:00

The biblical sense of faith is more accurately stated as as the unword faithing. We don't "get" the faith we need for our journey at one time. We don't "have" the faith required to complete our life immediately. Trusting is about taking the next step we need to take, not about finishing the race.

I once thought differently. I used to approach God as an "it" I could grab, that being filled with the Spirit was having it all locked up, possessing everything spiritual, securing all that God had for me forever. I now know that is not only unreal and unhelpful, that is not faith. Call it certainty, call it control, but not trust. And like that unfortunate phrase we sing," Because He lives...all fear is gone," we often present faith as the eradication of fear, doubt and questioning. But some of our best decisions are made and carried out in the spite of fear and doubts.

People filled with the Spirit, the Guide, are those taking their next steps. For the disciple Peter, trust was about taking the next step on a stormy lake (Matthew 14:31). But if life has taught me distrust more than anything else, relearning life isn't easy. How can I trust God, especially when people who claim to represent God have hurt me? Many who have started their faith journey with good intentions of serving others have become injured in the process. Like the servant parable in Julian of Norwich's Showings, we didn't choose to become wounded servants.

The next step for those whose trust has been damaged is to take the next step toward healing and wholeness, knowing God is life and love for you. The leap is not just a leap into the unknown, the darkness, it's a step, guided by the Spirit, into God's love and grace.

Taking a Prayer Walk is this week's practice.

JUSTPEACE and Reaching Vets

2009-04-06T23:18:00.007-05:00

A coordinating body of the United Methodist Church, JUSTPEACE, offered an important conference on Trauma Healing and Welcoming Returning War Vets. It was April 1 and 2 in Nashville. In the midst of the blooming red buds and dogwood, we gathered at the Board of Discipleship. "We" were clergy, military chaplains, a host of veterans, many of Vietnam, some of Desert Storm, a few lay persons and even an active bishop.

There was an amazing amount of theological reflection on and physiology of trauma presented the first day with Dr. Shelly Rambo, professor at Boston University, followed by a morning of overcoming various barriers to effectively reaching vets with Navy Chaplain Bender. The closing session featured a panel with two vets (one a D.S. and the other a Chaplain), a conflict resolution mediator with JUSTPEACE, and a leader of a Veteran's group. Many from the gathering spoke of their own experience and recovery from traumatic (though non-military) events.

With the quality and the depth this seminar provided, there was no silver bullet promised, no blueprint for a successful vets ministry. Some networking was done, but mostly it was seeing our warriors differently. For a church to pick up this kind of ministry, it will take a long term commitment in order to establish trust with vets and families. It means learning military language. It will require time, attention, and showing up for them, being present at their important events.

You could probably start with the veterans you already have in your congregation, since the returnees are already more comfortable with those who have been here. If you're a pastor and a vet, then you have a tremendous gift to offer those who are re-entering a new civilian life.

For a long time, our churches have recognized veterans on the patriotic Sundays, etc. Obviously it's time to go beyond singing songs and cheering publicly to saying thank you in more personal ways. God's call is where the world's deep need and your gifts and experiences meet. The healing from war trauma is a deep need, to be sure. The gift of our own healing from trauma can be offered- a sort of learned compassion- for those possessed by the ravages of PTSD. This conference was invitation to hear that call and begin that journey.

Loving/Courage

2009-04-01T10:05:00.006-05:00

In the second meeting of our group (moved up to Monday, March 30 from Wed., April 1), we explored the habit of loving and being loved. In the talk, I presented the experience of loving as grounded in being loved. To know yourself as one who is loved is the foundation for offering love. Crudely stated, you can't give what you do not have.

The other possibility was raised, i.e., that, in our risking love, we learn it. In gutting it out, in leaping out where we're uncomfortable, we learn we can trust God and others. That gets very close to another habit we'll be looking at later on: trust/faith. One way or another though, we experience what is to be loved in our loving others. In this case, we appreciate and learn the risk and sacrifice inherent in loving.

To be loved is to give our lives to a purpose and a passion that goes beyond us: it's to experience transcendence. Our human experience of unconditional love is limited always; the parts of it we encounter are sometimes enough to move us to courage. For many, it's so lacking that to think in terms of God's hesed/agape is a total a leap of faith.

Love often precedes courage, or in the words of Paul, "If I give my body over to be burned, but do not love, I am nothing." Your courage is "nothing" without love. With the hesed (steadfastness) and agape (unconditional love) of Jesus, we can do anything.

The daily practice is discovering your breath prayer and then, of course, using it throughout this week.

Willingness--Letting Go

2009-03-26T15:54:00.004-05:00

The first of our 8 Wednesday group sessions of Beginnings- The Spiritual Life began last night at A Moveable Feast, 6:30- 8:15 p.m., 9341 Katy Freeway in Houston. Our next session is Monday, March 30 (instead of next Wed.), FYI. Guests are welcome to come and preview. The food is great (and free) and then there's a talk followed by small groups.

The goal of our group time is simply put, to begin a journey led by the Spirit, the Guide. Just as Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness (Matthew 4:1), so we are invited to start a spiritual journey under the leadership of Holy Spirit.

Each part of the pilgrimage is toward God and with God. Habits, practices, movements are offered and available for the taking. The first "habit of the heart" is willingness to let go. What are the expectations of God, Holy Spirit, spiritual life, that I need to release in order to start the new that's just ahead? What of my own stuff do I need to unburden to receive this newness, the life of the Holy Spirit?

For the daily exercise, be aware each day of the wind. Do something that will help you actually be attentive to the power and life of the wind (spirit).

Come Holy Wind and Breath, Come Holy Spirit. Hover over and around and within. Make new ways out of the old. Bring to life, refresh, awaken, move us in love, heal us in your goodness, bless us with the willingness to venture, begin, learn- every day.

Really, Are We All that Different?

2009-03-23T23:47:00.003-05:00

It's amazing how suffering can bring us together like nothing else. "Time and chance happen to us all," the Preacher writes in Ecclesiastes. But the subject of our own choosing is what's more captivating.

I mean, why do we do some of the stupid things we do? We deny what others see in us, pretending that either they've got it wrong or they don't see how unique and different and special God knows we really are. But wisdom says we're not that different!

While time and chance happen to us all, it's our denial, refusal, and inability to see the obvious. The toxic supervisor shows their underhandedness even before the potential hire is made. Future staff colleagues are put-down. Red flag! Not to worry. I'm different. A clergy leader has a clear history of sabotaging the work of others, but then, we think we're different, so we'll choose to work with them in spite of the evidence that we'd be better off without their "career help."

Or we deny signs of burnout in ourselves: apathy, meaningless, boredom, lethargy, etc., etc. Somehow, we are above it, we tell ourselves. We're not like those other clergy leaders who had problems with this sort of thing. We're taking precautions. We're good, so good that we don't even need help. We're above it all.

I hurt for my clergy colleagues who too often like me, think that denial of my true self and attention to the false self is necessary to get ahead in the church business. Because such denial is based on self-hate and anger, not love. And anger leads to bitterness, resentment, and finally the death of sloth- total indifference.

So the next time you're tempted by the illusion of your own superiority, remember what got you here in the first place: not your moral goodness, ability, or political acumen. In spite of what anyone has told you, it's God's grace, a grace that loves and heals and liberates even and especially what we deny in ourselves.

The Irrelevance of Yankee-dom

2009-03-11T18:34:00.010-05:00

As a long-time Cleveland fan living in Texas, I will long remember a visit with my son to Jacobs field a few years back. The Yankees were playing the Indians, and as chance would have it, the Indians came back to soundly beat NY later in the game.

The obnoxious and out-of-place (but clueless) Yankee fans sashayed back to their daze inns, muzzled and stunned with bewilderment. It was pure delight as dozens of NY tees filed into travel lodges; they had stayed over just to see the spectacle of losing a bad one.

The Couch Slouch column of a couple of days ago, reminded me of how fun it is to see the Yankees fail AT THEIR OWN GAME whenever they do. With that in mind, I smile when I think about:

People whining about not winning another (91st?) World Series
Hundreds of millions and no playoffs? Priceless
"Here come the Yankees" shrieked with every base hit
The plague of the merciless marauding midges
CC has had his best year
LEBRON'S STAYING IN CLEVELAND
Go Rays- the team to beat
ESPN's 24/7 A-Rod crawler
Most of your guys who had a prime are past it
Joe Torre in the playoffs with the barely mediocre Dodgers!!